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Fri Sep 5, 2014, 02:17 PM

Left Behind Movie Starring Nicolas Cage should be titled

Conned Air

34 replies, 3941 views

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Reply Left Behind Movie Starring Nicolas Cage should be titled (Original post)
kairos12 Sep 2014 OP
kentauros Sep 2014 #1
kairos12 Sep 2014 #3
get the red out Sep 2014 #4
Orrex Sep 2014 #2
Tommy_Carcetti Sep 2014 #5
LineLineReply .
pintobean Sep 2014 #6
Tommy_Carcetti Sep 2014 #7
Tommy_Carcetti Sep 2014 #8
Tommy_Carcetti Sep 2014 #9
Johonny Sep 2014 #18
LuvNewcastle Sep 2014 #31
WilliamPitt Sep 2014 #10
hifiguy Sep 2014 #11
Initech Sep 2014 #12
deutsey Sep 2014 #13
pintobean Sep 2014 #21
hootinholler Sep 2014 #33
kentauros Sep 2014 #23
LibertyLover Sep 2014 #14
hifiguy Sep 2014 #17
longship Sep 2014 #26
BillZBubb Sep 2014 #15
Bonx Sep 2014 #22
kairos12 Sep 2014 #28
REP Sep 2014 #16
maryellen99 Sep 2014 #19
blkmusclmachine Sep 2014 #20
tanyev Sep 2014 #24
LisaLynne Sep 2014 #25
kairos12 Sep 2014 #27
blm Sep 2014 #29
haele Sep 2014 #30
sakabatou Sep 2014 #32
Efilroft Sul Sep 2014 #34

Response to kairos12 (Original post)

Fri Sep 5, 2014, 02:20 PM

1. Or "Knowing Con"

"Gone in 6 Seconds"
"Rapturing Arizona"
"Irrational treasure"
"Ghost Rapture"
"Bringing Up the Dead"

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Response to kentauros (Reply #1)

Fri Sep 5, 2014, 02:24 PM

3. Leaving Las Vegas Without Your Winnings

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Response to kentauros (Reply #1)

Fri Sep 5, 2014, 02:27 PM

4. For us down here

It would be THANK YOU TERMINEX!

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Response to kairos12 (Original post)

Fri Sep 5, 2014, 02:20 PM

2. Nice!

I edited the wiki page for the new film a few weeks ago, but my edits were removed for some reason...

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Response to kairos12 (Original post)

Fri Sep 5, 2014, 02:30 PM

5. How about, "I'll do any script you give me, just hire me and I'll do it!"



"Wait, am I in a movie now or not?"

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Response to Tommy_Carcetti (Reply #5)

Fri Sep 5, 2014, 02:36 PM

6. .

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Response to pintobean (Reply #6)

Fri Sep 5, 2014, 02:37 PM

7. You want to make your own Nicholas Cage movie? Now you can!

http://nicolascageplotgenerator.weebly.com/

Warning: No matter what, somebody will get kidnapped.

My personal favorite: "Nicolas Cage plays an alcoholic caterpillar whose Chinese food delivery man gets kidnapped during a solar eclipse and is locked in a runaway stage coach."

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Response to Tommy_Carcetti (Reply #7)

Fri Sep 5, 2014, 02:39 PM

8. This one's not bad, either.

"Nicolas Cage plays a living toy whose daughter-in-law gets kidnapped by no one and Cage yells incoherently about it for an hour and fifty-three minutes. "

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Response to Tommy_Carcetti (Reply #8)

Fri Sep 5, 2014, 02:40 PM

9. Or this one.

"Nicolas Cage plays a gigolo whose arch nemesis gets kidnapped at a UFC match and is asked to write a 500 word essay on the rise of the Ottoman Empire. "

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Response to Tommy_Carcetti (Reply #9)

Fri Sep 5, 2014, 03:08 PM

18. If it co-stars Sean Connery then I'm in for the evening

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Response to Tommy_Carcetti (Reply #5)

Fri Sep 5, 2014, 06:12 PM

31. I used to like Nicholas Cage, but it's so sad to see an actor become so desperate.

I'd have more respect for him if he was doing porn now.

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Response to kairos12 (Original post)

Fri Sep 5, 2014, 02:43 PM

10. Lord of Derp

 

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Response to kairos12 (Original post)

Fri Sep 5, 2014, 02:46 PM

11. Anyone who pays to see this

 

for any reason other than hipster irony, is getting exactly what they deserve.

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Response to hifiguy (Reply #11)

Fri Sep 5, 2014, 02:50 PM

12. The trailer alone is cheesy beyond words.

The Christian right will probably show up in droves though.

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Response to kairos12 (Original post)

Fri Sep 5, 2014, 02:54 PM

13. How about: "Left Beehind"?



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Response to deutsey (Reply #13)

Fri Sep 5, 2014, 03:23 PM

21. Couldn't dodge that bullet, I guess.

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Response to pintobean (Reply #21)

Fri Sep 5, 2014, 06:53 PM

33. Odd

The crosshairs are never actually on him. No shot was dodged lol.

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Response to deutsey (Reply #13)

Fri Sep 5, 2014, 03:46 PM

23. "I'm covered in bees!!!"



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Response to kairos12 (Original post)

Fri Sep 5, 2014, 02:55 PM

14. Too bad he already appeared in the film

"Kiss of Death" , because as stinkola as this film is going to be, that's what it could do to his career.

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Response to LibertyLover (Reply #14)

Fri Sep 5, 2014, 03:08 PM

17. At least he wasn't in "Atlas Shrugged"

 

That is good, I guess?

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Response to hifiguy (Reply #17)

Fri Sep 5, 2014, 05:06 PM

26. So at least he's got that going for him.

I am not sure whether Hollywood stars measure their success by the number of really bad films they did not act in. However, if such a metric is adopted, I recommend it be called the "Nicholas Cage Index", with Cage himself undoubtedly having the lowest score.



on edit: brain fart... Cage, not Gage.

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Response to kairos12 (Original post)

Fri Sep 5, 2014, 02:59 PM

15. Last Times at Ridgemont High?

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Response to BillZBubb (Reply #15)

Fri Sep 5, 2014, 03:24 PM

22. that cracked me up

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Response to BillZBubb (Reply #15)

Fri Sep 5, 2014, 05:07 PM

28. Thread Winner!

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Response to kairos12 (Original post)

Fri Sep 5, 2014, 03:00 PM

16. Nicholas Cage Needs Money

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Response to REP (Reply #16)

Fri Sep 5, 2014, 03:12 PM

19. Doesn't he owe the IRS? Nt

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Response to kairos12 (Original post)

Fri Sep 5, 2014, 03:13 PM

20. Is Cage gonna be another Kirk Cameron?!?!

 

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Response to kairos12 (Original post)

Fri Sep 5, 2014, 04:52 PM

24. Here's the one they should have made.

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Response to tanyev (Reply #24)

Fri Sep 5, 2014, 04:56 PM

25. Nice! nt

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Response to tanyev (Reply #24)

Fri Sep 5, 2014, 05:06 PM

27. LOL

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Response to kairos12 (Original post)

Fri Sep 5, 2014, 05:08 PM

29. Tim LaHaye's Left Behind books were bankrolled by Korean cult leader RevMoon.

Back in the 70s, LaHaye was considered an expert at mind control. LaHaye and Moon were connected through GHWBush's CIA.

Those Left Behind books and their political persuasion theology were CRAFTED......with deliberation.

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Response to blm (Reply #29)

Fri Sep 5, 2014, 05:53 PM

30. They were definately crafted with a "light reading" low-information reader in mind.

Simplistic, over-stimulating schlock paced like bodice rippers and male revenge/exploitation novels. You aren't supposed to notice the amount of iconography and propaganda dedicated to his Xtian-in-name-only theology plugged into every other lurching, plot-hole ridden page, either.
It took me 7 days to slog through the first book because I was critiquing it for a (at that time) friend who had been thinking of joining the store-front born-again cult members of her family had been suckered into and wanted my serious opinion on this great novel that they thought was symbolic of the type of persecution modern Christianity was being exposed to. I thought she wanted a rebuttal, so I was as serious about reading it as I would be an analysis reading for college.
The one thing I could say positively is that at least LeHay didn't have his protagonists break into 50-page justifications of a particular point of theology.

But dayem- when I'm stuck underway for weeks and my only "new" choices for late night stay-awake reading material are winnowed down to "The Executioner" series (vague plot, ridiculous action, but at least a smidgen of black humor and flow to the writing), Louis L'more (sometime hackneyed, but always well-written), the obligatory Clancy, King and Ludlam knock-offs, Battlefield Earth, a Bible, or the Left Behind Series, I'd be able to finish and somewhat enjoy any of the former over Left Behind.
At least Battlefield Earth's "God-figure" wasn't at heart small, pouting, narcissistic, and sadistic bastard with equally pouting and sadistic but sniveling enemies lurching about in a bloody eternal hair-pulling contest to see who was strong enough to over-turn the chess board and declare themselves the winner.

That series is truly that insultingly bad.


Haele

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Response to kairos12 (Original post)

Fri Sep 5, 2014, 06:21 PM

32. Is he going to have one of his freakouts again?

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Response to kairos12 (Original post)

Fri Sep 5, 2014, 08:48 PM

34. Holy Ghost Rider

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