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alp227

(32,013 posts)
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 03:25 PM Jul 2014

Conor Oberst Rape Accuser: 'I Made up Lies to Get Attention'

Joanie Faircloth, who alleged that Bright Eyes frontman Conor Oberst had sexually assaulted her in the comments of an XOJane article, has now admitted that she made the whole story up. In February, Oberst had filed a libel lawsuit against her, calling her accusations "absolutely, unequivocally false." Now Faircloth is asking for forgiveness for what she wrote.

"The statements I made and repeated online and elsewhere over the past six months accusing Conor Oberst of raping me are 100 percent false," she wrote in a notarized statement via Buzzfeed. "I made up those lies about him to get attention while I was going through a difficult period in my life and trying to cope with my son's illness. I publicly retract my statements about Conor Oberst and sincerely apologize to him, his family and his fans for writing such awful things about him. I realize that my actions were wrong and could undermine the claims of actual sexual assault victims and for that I also apologize. I'm truly sorry for all the pain that I caused."

Read more: http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/conor-oberst-rape-accuser-i-made-up-lies-to-get-attention-20140714

134 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Conor Oberst Rape Accuser: 'I Made up Lies to Get Attention' (Original Post) alp227 Jul 2014 OP
Thanks a lot. Aristus Jul 2014 #1
I don't know ... 1StrongBlackMan Jul 2014 #3
I don't understand what you're saying here. Comrade Grumpy Jul 2014 #5
Sometimes pressure is brought to bear on victims to recant their testimony el_bryanto Jul 2014 #7
Oh ye GODS nt Dreamer Tatum Jul 2014 #9
And sometimes pressure is brought to bear on false accusers to recant their testimony. Comrade Grumpy Jul 2014 #10
I haven't followed the case. el_bryanto Jul 2014 #12
I haven't either ... 1StrongBlackMan Jul 2014 #15
Well, she will have a chance to address that in court. NaturalHigh Jul 2014 #117
Why don't you throw up the stats on false accusations showing how minimal it is? seabeyond Jul 2014 #14
Post removed Post removed Jul 2014 #17
Another time out? Does that language strike you as disrespectful? el_bryanto Jul 2014 #19
How? oldhippie Jul 2014 #24
I think it's disrespectful because a time-out is something you give to children el_bryanto Jul 2014 #25
Well, then .... oldhippie Jul 2014 #26
I would probably say something like "Go fuck yourself." el_bryanto Jul 2014 #27
Very good ... oldhippie Jul 2014 #30
This message was self-deleted by its author 1000words Jul 2014 #32
I disagree with your assessment el_bryanto Jul 2014 #33
now, i am acting like a child, that needs a time out, cause i am out of control, for stating a fact? seabeyond Jul 2014 #34
Thank you for speaking out Quantess Jul 2014 #103
Oh, bullshit. TDale313 Jul 2014 #42
Thank you. whathehell Jul 2014 #105
Agschmid did an experiment. He posted one of seabeyond's posts, word for word, under his Squinch Jul 2014 #52
Wow, that is eye opening. smirkymonkey Jul 2014 #70
I thought so too. There IS a groupthink among those who like to hate her. I bet Squinch Jul 2014 #73
Oh please...That's condescending bullshit. whathehell Jul 2014 #107
are you suggesting i need a time out? are you agreeing i am out of control? seabeyond Jul 2014 #31
It's not the facts that I find objectionable. oldhippie Jul 2014 #35
since you are unable to mention it, i will remain clueless. seabeyond Jul 2014 #36
I'm not going to fall for that trap again .... oldhippie Jul 2014 #37
whatever dude. seabeyond Jul 2014 #41
Keeping it classy I see. Agschmid Jul 2014 #43
This is the basis you use to judge people's worth? How sad for you. Squinch Jul 2014 #55
It's a tough life ... oldhippie Jul 2014 #56
You might want to get on that, then. Squinch Jul 2014 #57
I'm old enough I have had my core principles for awhile. oldhippie Jul 2014 #59
Since I have never seen any evidence of them, it's no matter to me. Squinch Jul 2014 #60
One of mine is to ... oldhippie Jul 2014 #61
Having the last word in a thread is one of your core principles? Somehow that doesn't surprise me. Squinch Jul 2014 #69
Thank you, I am enjoying myself ..... oldhippie Jul 2014 #76
lol. and judging one cause of capitalization is a core principle for you. bah hahahahahahahahahaha seabeyond Jul 2014 #63
Nice, OldHippie cyberswede Jul 2014 #128
No, it isn't beneath you BainsBane Jul 2014 #132
What "unmentionable thing"? whathehell Jul 2014 #104
And where, exactly .... oldhippie Jul 2014 #120
Answering my question with yours won't work...Answer my question first, whathehell Jul 2014 #121
Ok, come closer, closer ....... oldhippie Jul 2014 #123
you can project whatever tone you want on me. that is a limp excuse. i have no control seabeyond Jul 2014 #124
You can lose the faux cloak and dagger.. whathehell Jul 2014 #125
PWF BainsBane Jul 2014 #133
Got it Thanks. n/t whathehell Jul 2014 #134
"time out" is too delicate for my critics. Eleanors38 Jul 2014 #126
Why is that? BainsBane Jul 2014 #44
"How dare anyone question the superior members of the site?" oldhippie Jul 2014 #46
Clearly your judgement is off BainsBane Jul 2014 #47
It's not important .... oldhippie Jul 2014 #48
you came in du for a couple jabs, now off... to the more important stuff? lol. what? discussionist? seabeyond Jul 2014 #49
Have you been over there? ... oldhippie Jul 2014 #62
so, that IS where you do your serious discussion. you have me in stitches old. between seabeyond Jul 2014 #64
Come on down, we could have some fun .... oldhippie Jul 2014 #65
a part of the intellectual integrity is not acting cause someone says i dare you.... i double seabeyond Jul 2014 #67
I know it's tough on you guys ... oldhippie Jul 2014 #71
I think it's great they created that site BainsBane Jul 2014 #68
So are you saying that .... oldhippie Jul 2014 #72
If their true selves are against the democratic principles of equal rights for women, Squinch Jul 2014 #75
What if they are for most of them, but .... oldhippie Jul 2014 #77
If they are against equal rights for women, people of color and LGBT people, and if they Squinch Jul 2014 #78
I don't think you answered the question oldhippie Jul 2014 #80
Well, then it's a good thing that what you think is not important to me. Squinch Jul 2014 #83
OK, I'll just leave with this ..... oldhippie Jul 2014 #91
Clearly not, since some of those folks remain BainsBane Jul 2014 #85
You are "for" equal rights for some people, but not others, like women? whathehell Jul 2014 #111
Only some people pretend here BainsBane Jul 2014 #82
I think a number are migrating ..... oldhippie Jul 2014 #90
I find it fascinating BainsBane Jul 2014 #66
Do you think maybe .... oldhippie Jul 2014 #74
Are you saying that you prefer the way you are free to be yourself over there? If so, Squinch Jul 2014 #79
Because it is ..... oldhippie Jul 2014 #81
OK. So now, have that last word that is so essential for your well being. Squinch Jul 2014 #87
look. i am sure you will go back to discussionist and tell the buddies how you got them wimminz, ... seabeyond Jul 2014 #89
Gee, I thought I was oldhippie Jul 2014 #92
old. you have not really said much of anything, but that you are playing a game. seabeyond Jul 2014 #93
I haven't said much of anything you like .... oldhippie Jul 2014 #95
Yes. I do. BainsBane Jul 2014 #86
Post removed Post removed Jul 2014 #21
Score? BainsBane Jul 2014 #29
Record may be a more .... oldhippie Jul 2014 #38
I'll just point out that those members recently PPR'd BainsBane Jul 2014 #50
Thank you for pointing that out ... oldhippie Jul 2014 #58
The statistics of actual versus fictional claims of rape does seem germane LanternWaste Jul 2014 #22
you walk into a thread of a 16 yr old girl, drugged, raped, videod, distributed, hashtagged mocked seabeyond Jul 2014 #23
Good jury decision BainsBane Jul 2014 #28
which stats? qazplm Jul 2014 #102
Right. Cause that never happens... Squinch Jul 2014 #51
And sometimes people just lie and then realize the harm they have done and sabrina 1 Jul 2014 #97
If she really does have a history of "catfishing", it sounds like a case of Munchausen by Internet. moriah Jul 2014 #11
Okay. Thanks for the information. eom. 1StrongBlackMan Jul 2014 #16
This message was self-deleted by its author yeoman6987 Jul 2014 #53
What a horrible thing to be accused of. zappaman Jul 2014 #2
Is "attention-whore" offensive if directed against a woman.... moriah Jul 2014 #4
Yes, it is BainsBane Jul 2014 #18
Yes sarisataka Jul 2014 #39
Uh, I'd judge a man for making up being raped to get attention, just as harshly... moriah Jul 2014 #88
But the words you used probably wouldn't criticize his sexuality, as words Squinch Jul 2014 #94
Nicely put. +1 riqster Jul 2014 #106
Exactly, thank you. n/t whathehell Jul 2014 #108
Actually, I'd probably call him the same thing. So desperate for attention.... moriah Jul 2014 #113
But when you think of what a whore is, do you think of a man or a woman? Squinch Jul 2014 #116
Honestly? I think of a male friend of mine, Isaac. moriah Jul 2014 #118
No, I mean the meaning of the word "whore." We call male prostitutes "male prostitutes." We Squinch Jul 2014 #119
That's why I expressed that my experience was different from others. moriah Jul 2014 #122
We all have men and women in our lives who toss those words around, and it's becoming a point Squinch Jul 2014 #129
Yeah, you should feel uncomfortable calling a woman a whore. Please don't do it again. Gravitycollapse Jul 2014 #54
So where is her photograph? malaise Jul 2014 #6
How many rapes today around the world? One false accusation today not taken beyond public, seabeyond Jul 2014 #8
Your knowing better doesn't stop the people malaise Jul 2014 #100
that is really the point. they were doing it before this women. and they would be doing it seabeyond Jul 2014 #110
So let's encourage dumb women with agendas malaise Jul 2014 #112
What a strange conclusion you've drawn... whathehell Jul 2014 #114
right malaise, that is what i said. women everywhere, accuse men of false rape. really? seabeyond Jul 2014 #115
No one said anything even remotely resembling that statement. Why are YOU saying it? Squinch Jul 2014 #130
I agree. She can go fuck herself ....... how many people with influence in polly7 Jul 2014 #99
This malaise Jul 2014 #101
Ton of selfie images of her. Fitting. Eleanors38 Jul 2014 #127
Criminal Charges should be brought against her. dilby Jul 2014 #13
This message was self-deleted by its author 1000words Jul 2014 #20
Everything I've seen about Conor Oberst indicates he's a good guy, and a solid progressive. Warren DeMontague Jul 2014 #40
That was one of the best anti-bush songs during the reign of terror. Hoyt Jul 2014 #45
I'd never heard it before. Here's one anti-Bush song that was far better... Violet_Crumble Jul 2014 #109
I got to see him 10 yrs ago at a Vote for Change concert in which Bright Eyes was the bottom act pinboy3niner Jul 2014 #84
Yeah, I saw R.E.M. in Oct. of 2004, too. Warren DeMontague Jul 2014 #98
I saw them in Atlanta 6 or so years ago with Gillian Welch as opening act in an big old theater. Hoyt Jul 2014 #131
The comments section of XOJane is an awful cesspool. Drunken Irishman Jul 2014 #96
 

1StrongBlackMan

(31,849 posts)
3. I don't know ...
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 03:33 PM
Jul 2014

It's hard for me to accept such "turn-arounds" ... especially after the recanter had repeated the story over time 1,000s of time.

Not saying it doesn't happen ... Just call me suspicious.

 

Comrade Grumpy

(13,184 posts)
5. I don't understand what you're saying here.
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 03:53 PM
Jul 2014

Do you not believe the recantation?

What are suspicious about?

el_bryanto

(11,804 posts)
7. Sometimes pressure is brought to bear on victims to recant their testimony
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 03:57 PM
Jul 2014

Could be "positive" pressure (here take this money and tell people you lied) or negative pressure (Do you really have the money to stand up to a libel suit). Not saying that happened here myself, but it seems possible.

Bryant

 

Comrade Grumpy

(13,184 posts)
10. And sometimes pressure is brought to bear on false accusers to recant their testimony.
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 04:03 PM
Jul 2014

I don't know the particulars of this case. Has this person presented one scintilla of evidence to back her rape claims?

If not, suggesting that she falsely recanted seems to be bending over backwards.

el_bryanto

(11,804 posts)
12. I haven't followed the case.
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 04:06 PM
Jul 2014

I wouldn't know what the evidence in this matter is either. I'm just suggesting that there is a potential reason why someone might recant their testimony.

Bryant

 

1StrongBlackMan

(31,849 posts)
15. I haven't either ...
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 04:22 PM
Jul 2014

But the libel suit was filed in February and the recanting accuser is said to have repeated her claims 100s of times over 6 months. It's difficult to lie, over time, and not have the claims picked apart ... Especially, when the motivation is to gain notoriety.

 

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)
14. Why don't you throw up the stats on false accusations showing how minimal it is?
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 04:12 PM
Jul 2014

Seeing how you were not moved at all by a 16 yr old girl drugged, raped, video, her rape porn distributed for boys to get off on, hash tagged for mocking across the nation.

The only necessary thing to share in that rape thread were numbers, how insignificant rape is.

You seem bothered this man accused in public, certainly causing him problems for 6 months is so much more significant than that girl. Drugged. Raped. Video for distribution and consumption. Mocked across the nation.

Response to seabeyond (Reply #14)

el_bryanto

(11,804 posts)
19. Another time out? Does that language strike you as disrespectful?
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 04:29 PM
Jul 2014

I know how I would react if someone suggested i needed a time-out.

Bryant

el_bryanto

(11,804 posts)
25. I think it's disrespectful because a time-out is something you give to children
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 04:47 PM
Jul 2014

the implication is that seabeyond can't control her emotions, so she needs to be sent off somewhere until she's back under control. Again, like you would do with a child.

Bryant

 

oldhippie

(3,249 posts)
26. Well, then ....
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 04:50 PM
Jul 2014

... that seems pretty appropriate then, doesn't it?

Maybe if it was called a "vacation" or "penalty period" or something it wouldn't offend your sensibilities so?

What is your preferred term?

Oh, and you didn't answer the question of how you would act if someone suggested you needed a time out.

el_bryanto

(11,804 posts)
27. I would probably say something like "Go fuck yourself."
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 04:52 PM
Jul 2014

Hypothetically.

It doesn't seem appropriate because Seabeyond isn't a child, and doesn't deserve to be treated as one.

Bryant

Response to el_bryanto (Reply #27)

el_bryanto

(11,804 posts)
33. I disagree with your assessment
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 05:01 PM
Jul 2014

I think that she is retaliated against - for some reason she's a lightning road for those who want to silence feminists at DU. While I have seen her say things she shouldn't have, I also believe that she is targeted, both to provoke and then to alert.

Bryant

 

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)
34. now, i am acting like a child, that needs a time out, cause i am out of control, for stating a fact?
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 05:03 PM
Jul 2014

TDale313

(7,820 posts)
42. Oh, bullshit.
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 05:35 PM
Jul 2014

Sea's been alert stalked for ages around here. She could post "I love puppies" and someone would alert and at least some of the jury members would vote to hide, just cause it's her. It's gotten ridiculous.

Squinch

(50,934 posts)
52. Agschmid did an experiment. He posted one of seabeyond's posts, word for word, under his
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 08:18 PM
Jul 2014

own name. She was hidden. He was not.

Has she ever been uncivil to you, or are you going on the groupthink here? The next time she is in unable to post, I recommend that you look at her transparency page. The last time, the five hidden posts were very benign.

Squinch

(50,934 posts)
73. I thought so too. There IS a groupthink among those who like to hate her. I bet
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 09:22 PM
Jul 2014

the majority of them have never interacted with her.

Others, of course, are offended by women who communicate feminist ideas, but I suspect many - if not most - are just jumping on some ignorant bandwagon.

 

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)
31. are you suggesting i need a time out? are you agreeing i am out of control?
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 04:56 PM
Jul 2014

i stated facts. why would you or anyone think i needed a time out for being out of control, merely stating facts.

 

oldhippie

(3,249 posts)
35. It's not the facts that I find objectionable.
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 05:07 PM
Jul 2014

It's that other unmentionable thing.

Oh, and not using capitals. Yeah, that's it.

 

oldhippie

(3,249 posts)
37. I'm not going to fall for that trap again ....
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 05:19 PM
Jul 2014

This is not my first rodeo, so remain so.

Also, I find it difficult to converse with people that don't use capitals. It just feels, ..... well, .... beneath me.

 

oldhippie

(3,249 posts)
59. I'm old enough I have had my core principles for awhile.
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 08:29 PM
Jul 2014

You probably wouldn't like some of them, but that's OK.

 

oldhippie

(3,249 posts)
61. One of mine is to ...
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 08:47 PM
Jul 2014

... always have the last word in a thread. Thank you for helping me build my post count.

Next?

Squinch

(50,934 posts)
69. Having the last word in a thread is one of your core principles? Somehow that doesn't surprise me.
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 09:15 PM
Jul 2014

You have at it. Enjoy yourself.

 

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)
63. lol. and judging one cause of capitalization is a core principle for you. bah hahahahahahahahahaha
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 08:51 PM
Jul 2014

whathehell

(29,053 posts)
104. What "unmentionable thing"?
Tue Jul 15, 2014, 08:38 AM
Jul 2014

I'd like to know, because it does sound like you're giving her shit for her feminism.

Maybe it's you who need a "time out".

:

 

oldhippie

(3,249 posts)
120. And where, exactly ....
Tue Jul 15, 2014, 09:46 AM
Jul 2014

.... in any one of my posts in this thread, have I given Sea shit for her feminism? Show me, I'd like to see it. I am not anti-feminist.

If you think I need a "time out" feel free to alert.

whathehell

(29,053 posts)
121. Answering my question with yours won't work...Answer my question first,
Tue Jul 15, 2014, 09:55 AM
Jul 2014

then we'll go to yours.

What is the 'unmentionable thing"?

 

oldhippie

(3,249 posts)
123. Ok, come closer, closer .......
Tue Jul 15, 2014, 10:04 AM
Jul 2014

(whispering very quietly, because this will start a shitstorm if it gets out ....)

Tone.

(Now, don't tell anyone. It really stirs emotions in certain quarters, just watch.)

 

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)
124. you can project whatever tone you want on me. that is a limp excuse. i have no control
Tue Jul 15, 2014, 10:25 AM
Jul 2014

over how you interpret my "tone". that is not on me.

my tone is perfectly mellow, straightforward, stating facts.

you and others want to make it about some tone issue, cause you do not like the facts.

kinda how you will feel about this post. cause i point out the bullshit in accusing .... tone.

silliness.

whathehell

(29,053 posts)
125. You can lose the faux cloak and dagger..
Tue Jul 15, 2014, 10:31 AM
Jul 2014

but I believe the "tone" of an internet post is hard to decipher,

given that there's no "sound" involved.

To the extent that it's possible, I'd suggest you be more specific.

Your tone, for instance, seems patronizing and highly sarcastic.

BainsBane

(53,026 posts)
44. Why is that?
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 06:04 PM
Jul 2014

How dare anyone question the superior members of the site? It's pretty obvious it is the content of the posts that you all object to, and you turn to personal attacks because you have nothing of substance to counter with.

Interesting that about a month ago we heard great cries about censorship of bigoted language, but now that Seabeyond questions a member's selective use of statistics about rape, she needs not only to be censored but banished for raising a perfectly legitimate viewpoint that people here don't want to deal with. And that el bryanto asks what is uncivil about Sea's post leads to a similar response from you, we can only suppose because you too are entirely unwilling to address the issue being discussed.

 

oldhippie

(3,249 posts)
46. "How dare anyone question the superior members of the site?"
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 07:26 PM
Jul 2014

How dare I! OMG! Oh My Fucking God!

I'm sorry, I almost can't reply. My sides hurt too much.

"And that el bryanto asks what is uncivil about Sea's post leads to a similar response from you, we can only suppose because you too are entirely unwilling to address the issue being discussed."

You just can't seem to understand, it's not about Sea's facts, it's about something else that you don't like. And you're just going to have to wonder what it is.

BainsBane

(53,026 posts)
47. Clearly your judgement is off
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 07:44 PM
Jul 2014

Since it was not her posts in this thread that were hidden.

Believe me, the last thing I am going to devote time to is thinking about what is in your head. I can't imagine why you think anyone would care. If it's not important enough to articulate, clearly even don't consider it important. We all know one other's posting habits enough to figure out what one another's ideological and personal perspectives are.

 

oldhippie

(3,249 posts)
48. It's not important ....
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 07:47 PM
Jul 2014

If it was, I certainly wouldn't be discussing it here. I just thought I would drop in for a visit.

 

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)
49. you came in du for a couple jabs, now off... to the more important stuff? lol. what? discussionist?
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 07:50 PM
Jul 2014
 

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)
64. so, that IS where you do your serious discussion. you have me in stitches old. between
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 08:52 PM
Jul 2014

your core principles and seriousness with discussionist, that says a hell of a lot.

 

oldhippie

(3,249 posts)
65. Come on down, we could have some fun ....
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 08:57 PM
Jul 2014

... and you would enjoy wielding your intellectual wit. If you dare.

 

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)
67. a part of the intellectual integrity is not acting cause someone says i dare you.... i double
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 09:11 PM
Jul 2014

dog dare you.

never worked with me much. i was sure to teach the boys, from the youngest of age, that is a sure sign of ignorance and lack of character.

you enjoy the simple mind over at the other site. glad you find so much that meets your core principles and your intellectual wit.

BainsBane

(53,026 posts)
68. I think it's great they created that site
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 09:13 PM
Jul 2014

because the people more at home with the Tea Party than liberals, and women and people of color in particular, are free to express who they really are.

 

oldhippie

(3,249 posts)
72. So are you saying that ....
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 09:21 PM
Jul 2014

... people should not express who they really are? Better to pretend, like they have to here?

Squinch

(50,934 posts)
75. If their true selves are against the democratic principles of equal rights for women,
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 09:28 PM
Jul 2014

people of color, and LGBT people, then they should probably find another site that isn't called Democratic Underground.

You get that, don't you?

 

oldhippie

(3,249 posts)
77. What if they are for most of them, but ....
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 09:31 PM
Jul 2014

... have some different thoughts on others? Does their lack of ideological purity pretty much exclude them from this site?

Squinch

(50,934 posts)
78. If they are against equal rights for women, people of color and LGBT people, and if they
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 09:34 PM
Jul 2014

are antagonistic to the idea of equal rights for those groups, it does seem obvious, doesn't it? I think that when people come here specifically to be antagonistic to the idea of equal rights for women, people of color or LGBT people, that's pretty much the definition of troll.

You get that, don't you?

Squinch

(50,934 posts)
83. Well, then it's a good thing that what you think is not important to me.
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 09:43 PM
Jul 2014

Now, you have stated that the core principle in your ethic is to have the last word in a thread, so you go ahead and show us how principled you are.

 

oldhippie

(3,249 posts)
91. OK, I'll just leave with this .....
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 09:58 PM
Jul 2014

Does their lack of ideological purity pretty much exclude them from this site?

Good night.

BainsBane

(53,026 posts)
85. Clearly not, since some of those folks remain
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 09:44 PM
Jul 2014

Though I would think it would be frustrating to continually feel you have to hide your true views.

whathehell

(29,053 posts)
111. You are "for" equal rights for some people, but not others, like women?
Tue Jul 15, 2014, 09:13 AM
Jul 2014

Forget "ideological purity" -- Equal rights for all is a core belief.

Maybe those with a lingering sense of superiority based on a birth condition

should work out their noxious sense of entitlement elsewhere.

BainsBane

(53,026 posts)
82. Only some people pretend here
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 09:43 PM
Jul 2014

I certainly don't. I think the ones that do have to pretend here are better suited for the other site.

 

oldhippie

(3,249 posts)
90. I think a number are migrating .....
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 09:53 PM
Jul 2014

.... which many think may have been skinner's intent. I dunno.

BainsBane

(53,026 posts)
66. I find it fascinating
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 09:10 PM
Jul 2014

Principally because so many of the people who claim to be liberals are indistinguishable from the right-wingers on many issues.

Squinch

(50,934 posts)
79. Are you saying that you prefer the way you are free to be yourself over there? If so,
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 09:38 PM
Jul 2014

why aren't you over there right now, basking in the freedom to flout democratic principles?

 

oldhippie

(3,249 posts)
81. Because it is .....
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 09:41 PM
Jul 2014

... fun to come over here once in awhile and see what's going on. I am, afterall, a contributing member here. Am I not welcome?

 

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)
89. look. i am sure you will go back to discussionist and tell the buddies how you got them wimminz, ...
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 09:52 PM
Jul 2014

good. giggle and high five that you are da man.

the thing. this is being a disruptor and you admit it on this thread. the purpose to taunt and cause problems. takin' jabs.

contributor or not.

 

oldhippie

(3,249 posts)
95. I haven't said much of anything you like ....
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 10:13 PM
Jul 2014

... I know.

Anyway, it's been fun.

And as Shakespeare said, - "All the internet's a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts."

Exit - stage left.

Response to Post removed (Reply #17)

BainsBane

(53,026 posts)
29. Score?
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 04:54 PM
Jul 2014

Do you think this is a game? People's lives are being hurt, both rape victims--in the case of those actually assaulted--and men falsely accused, as this instance appears to be.

BainsBane

(53,026 posts)
50. I'll just point out that those members recently PPR'd
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 08:04 PM
Jul 2014

for trolling and/or misogyny never had time outs. They clearly are not as much of a determinant as you seem to think.

 

LanternWaste

(37,748 posts)
22. The statistics of actual versus fictional claims of rape does seem germane
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 04:33 PM
Jul 2014

The statistics of actual versus fictional claims of rape does seem quite germane, regardless of whether you perceive it as a personal attack or not.

 

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)
23. you walk into a thread of a 16 yr old girl, drugged, raped, videod, distributed, hashtagged mocked
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 04:37 PM
Jul 2014

and all you posts were stats that rape has decreased so.

that is fact.

i do not need a time out for fact. surely.

"bile"?

would be walking into a thread of a 16 yr old that was drugged, raped, videod and distributed for consumption, hashtagged monking across the nation, and the only concern is rape is decreasing.

out of control?

stating a fact is not out of control.

personal attacks?

you walk into a thread on a 16 yr old girl that was drugged and gang raped. and you put up stats.

stating the facts is not a personal attack.

BainsBane

(53,026 posts)
28. Good jury decision
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 04:53 PM
Jul 2014

That he turned to personal attacks only highlights that he couldn't respond based on substance.

qazplm

(3,626 posts)
102. which stats?
Tue Jul 15, 2014, 08:24 AM
Jul 2014

The ones that say 2 percent? Or the ones that say in the 40s?

I don't believe either set of stats to be honest. I certainly believe the number is higher than 2 and lower than 40, but I have no idea what it truly is, and I don't believe the "stats" compiled to this point have an accurate hold on it either.

It happens enough to be an issue, but not enough that you shouldn't treat every accusation of rape with seriousness and a strong investigation.

sabrina 1

(62,325 posts)
97. And sometimes people just lie and then realize the harm they have done and
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 10:31 PM
Jul 2014

try to undo it. I give her credit for at least admitting the lie. Others wait sometimes for years after someone has had their lives ruined before having an attack of conscience.

As she said, she has seriously harmed the cause of those who actually have been raped. And no doubt, as we see already in this thread, damaged the reputation of the person she accused because this kind of thing can never really be undone.

I remember the Dem who was falsely accused of corruption after being vindicated asking 'but how do I get my reputation back'.

Your comment here demonstrates the harm done even though she now admits to lying. His reputation is forever tarnished.

moriah

(8,311 posts)
11. If she really does have a history of "catfishing", it sounds like a case of Munchausen by Internet.
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 04:04 PM
Jul 2014
http://www.dailydot.com/opinion/conor-oberst-allegations-internet-freedom/

http://www.digitaltrends.com/web/its-catfishing-season-how-to-tell-lovers-from-liars-online-and-more/#!beWAi2

As much as I always want to give victims the benefit of the doubt, the confusion about dates really makes me think this is a lie. Even before she made the accusation online, she was making comments about the band, including saying that she allegedly attended a concert on her 16th birthday and that he pulled her up onstage and sang happy birthday to her. However, there was no concert for that band on her birthday that year in that town for her to rape her at or sing her happy birthday at.. She then said it was a side project's concert the year prior. That date does check out, but a sixteenth birthday is very memorable.

She also said that she puts her son to sleep with music from the band. After I was raped, I could barely handle living in the same town (and did move a few months later), let alone listening to my rapist's voice *putting my child to sleep*. The idea makes me puke a little in my mouth.

Response to Aristus (Reply #1)

moriah

(8,311 posts)
4. Is "attention-whore" offensive if directed against a woman....
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 03:50 PM
Jul 2014

... when the context of the situation in any way involves alleged sexual behavior? Because that's what she is, yet, I feel somehow non-PC for thinking it.

Please don't judge every rape victim based on attention-whores like these.

BainsBane

(53,026 posts)
18. Yes, it is
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 04:26 PM
Jul 2014

She committed a felony, as does anyone who makes a false rape allegation. The phrase you chose doesn't capture the seriousness of those actions, and it unnecessarily perpetrates negative language about female sexuality.

sarisataka

(18,558 posts)
39. Yes
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 05:21 PM
Jul 2014

As it specifically insults a woman for sexual activity in a way a man would not be negatively judged

moriah

(8,311 posts)
88. Uh, I'd judge a man for making up being raped to get attention, just as harshly...
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 09:51 PM
Jul 2014

.... as I would a woman.

Perhaps even more harshly, given how difficult it is for men to report rape at all.

Squinch

(50,934 posts)
94. But the words you used probably wouldn't criticize his sexuality, as words
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 10:10 PM
Jul 2014

like "slut" and "whore" do to women. When we criticize men, we call them names, and harsh ones, and that's fine. But we generally don't criticize men with words that specifically refer to their sexuality. With women, though, most of the words we use DO refer specifically to their sexuality, and do so in a way that suggests that sexuality is negative.

So I'm all for judging this person harshly if she is lying. Better yet, throw the book at her. But the crime here is that she was a liar and she tried to ruin another person. The crime here is not about her being a whore.

moriah

(8,311 posts)
113. Actually, I'd probably call him the same thing. So desperate for attention....
Tue Jul 15, 2014, 09:14 AM
Jul 2014

.... that they'll do or say anything to get their 10 minutes, no matter who it hurts? Definition of the phrase to me.

The *only* reasons I felt slightly non-PC was that it was a woman, and that people still confuse rape with sex when the two are only coincidentally related. *I* know that rape has nothing to do with sex, therefore it was not a comment at all on her sexual behavior, but not everyone does. If it'd been a male and they'd lied about any *other* thing just to get attention, I don't think the non-PCness would have struck me.

moriah

(8,311 posts)
118. Honestly? I think of a male friend of mine, Isaac.
Tue Jul 15, 2014, 09:37 AM
Jul 2014

He's called *himself* a whore, without the "man" prefix that usually gets attached to the type of behavior he's so proud of yet women are usually judged for, for so long that his face comes to mind when I hear the word.

-----

But regardless, Joanie Faircloth sold her lies simply to get attention, so we'd even know her name. She likely suffers from severe psychological problems considering her history of faking being a cancer patient online -- Munchausen by Internet may not be in the DSM-V, but perhaps it ought to be.

Squinch

(50,934 posts)
119. No, I mean the meaning of the word "whore." We call male prostitutes "male prostitutes." We
Tue Jul 15, 2014, 09:42 AM
Jul 2014

call female prostitutes or very sexually active women "whores" or "prostitutes." The "female" is understood.

Though your friend doesn't use the "male" to refer to himself, it is much more common when the word is used for a man to specify that he is a "male whore." We never say "female whore" because the female is understood.

I don't think we disagree that lies to ruin someone else should be considered a criminal act.

moriah

(8,311 posts)
122. That's why I expressed that my experience was different from others.
Tue Jul 15, 2014, 09:55 AM
Jul 2014

I know far more women who embrace the word "slut", and even the dreaded "c" word (there's a book), than many, and then also I know guys (like Issac) who appropriate those and similar words for their own behaviors as well. I'm pretty solidly "third-wave", I suppose. And that's not counting the many people I love who deliberately strive for genderqueerness and try to reclaim the derogatory words assigned to both genders.

My experience is not the norm for everyday America, though.

Squinch

(50,934 posts)
129. We all have men and women in our lives who toss those words around, and it's becoming a point
Tue Jul 15, 2014, 12:48 PM
Jul 2014

of pride for some men to refer to themselves as "man whores." The question is, are we considering what we are saying when we use those terms?

I am not sure that "reclaiming" is possible. Those words were never "claimed" in the first place, by which I mean that they were never positive. So I am not sure why we would try to "reclaim" them.

A woman with a healthy sex life is just that: a woman being a woman. The slut/whore/etc. idea is something that is imposed on top of that by a culture that disapproves of a woman being a woman. These attempts to "reclaim" the words that have always been used to shame women for being women seem to me to pander to that misplaced disapproval.

malaise

(268,846 posts)
6. So where is her photograph?
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 03:54 PM
Jul 2014

Women like this one create serious problems for women who are actually raped.

Fugg off woman.

 

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)
8. How many rapes today around the world? One false accusation today not taken beyond public,
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 04:01 PM
Jul 2014

can do that much damage? Then I would think that is on us and we need to reflect. Because as a thinking person, informed. I know better.

malaise

(268,846 posts)
100. Your knowing better doesn't stop the people
Tue Jul 15, 2014, 07:57 AM
Jul 2014

who already trivialize rape from spewing BS about women crying rape. You'd be surprised at the number of human beings who are not thinking persons.

 

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)
110. that is really the point. they were doing it before this women. and they would be doing it
Tue Jul 15, 2014, 09:09 AM
Jul 2014

even if this did not happen.

for them, it is about excusing and dismissing rape. not reality.

 

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)
115. right malaise, that is what i said. women everywhere, accuse men of false rape. really?
Tue Jul 15, 2014, 09:19 AM
Jul 2014

Last edited Tue Jul 15, 2014, 01:45 PM - Edit history (1)

polly7

(20,582 posts)
99. I agree. She can go fuck herself ....... how many people with influence in
Tue Jul 15, 2014, 12:31 AM
Jul 2014

trying and judging real instances of rape were influenced by her actions ........ we won't know, and neither will the women whose rapists will get away with it. ONE woman not believed by people using this POS example to go by will be too many.

And, not to make light of at all the damage she could have done to this one man and his family's life - possibly ruining them had this been carried through and him convicted of it. I don't understand it and never will, but it is sick behaviour and as a rape survivor it pisses me off, minimizing something so horrible by lying about it is like rubbing salt into wounds that never heal.

malaise

(268,846 posts)
101. This
Tue Jul 15, 2014, 07:59 AM
Jul 2014
minimizing something so horrible by lying about it is like rubbing salt into wounds that never heal.


dilby

(2,273 posts)
13. Criminal Charges should be brought against her.
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 04:06 PM
Jul 2014

I am sorry but if you falsely accuse someone of a crime, you should be held liable if no crime took place.

Response to alp227 (Original post)

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
40. Everything I've seen about Conor Oberst indicates he's a good guy, and a solid progressive.
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 05:26 PM
Jul 2014

That's a classy way to handle this.

Violet_Crumble

(35,961 posts)
109. I'd never heard it before. Here's one anti-Bush song that was far better...
Tue Jul 15, 2014, 08:58 AM
Jul 2014


Bright Eyes are rather boring, but I hope Conor Oberst continues with the libel suit and wins. What she did, and the damage she's caused to him is so wrong...

pinboy3niner

(53,339 posts)
84. I got to see him 10 yrs ago at a Vote for Change concert in which Bright Eyes was the bottom act
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 09:43 PM
Jul 2014

The top 3 were Springsteen, Fogerty and R.E.M. The entire concert was great--but too short. The audience happily would have stayed for another couple of hours. And all of the performers were actively working for Kerry, of course.

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
98. Yeah, I saw R.E.M. in Oct. of 2004, too.
Mon Jul 14, 2014, 11:40 PM
Jul 2014

Didn't catch any of the VFC shows, though. I have some recordings of some of em on my ipod.... Springsteen sitting in with R.E.M. alone is worth the download.

I think I saw Bright Eyes at a Bridge Benefit at some point, too.

 

Hoyt

(54,770 posts)
131. I saw them in Atlanta 6 or so years ago with Gillian Welch as opening act in an big old theater.
Tue Jul 15, 2014, 01:18 PM
Jul 2014

Very good concert. Bright Eyes' band members were all dressed in white and the stage had all these flowers and white furniture that looked like a funeral.

In the same vein, I also like Todd Snider's "Conservative Christian, Right Wing, Republican, Straight, White, American Males"

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