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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsConor Oberst Rape Accuser: 'I Made up Lies to Get Attention'
Joanie Faircloth, who alleged that Bright Eyes frontman Conor Oberst had sexually assaulted her in the comments of an XOJane article, has now admitted that she made the whole story up. In February, Oberst had filed a libel lawsuit against her, calling her accusations "absolutely, unequivocally false." Now Faircloth is asking for forgiveness for what she wrote.
"The statements I made and repeated online and elsewhere over the past six months accusing Conor Oberst of raping me are 100 percent false," she wrote in a notarized statement via Buzzfeed. "I made up those lies about him to get attention while I was going through a difficult period in my life and trying to cope with my son's illness. I publicly retract my statements about Conor Oberst and sincerely apologize to him, his family and his fans for writing such awful things about him. I realize that my actions were wrong and could undermine the claims of actual sexual assault victims and for that I also apologize. I'm truly sorry for all the pain that I caused."
Read more: http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/conor-oberst-rape-accuser-i-made-up-lies-to-get-attention-20140714
Aristus
(66,308 posts)She set back the cause of genuine rape victims incalculably because of this...
1StrongBlackMan
(31,849 posts)It's hard for me to accept such "turn-arounds" ... especially after the recanter had repeated the story over time 1,000s of time.
Not saying it doesn't happen ... Just call me suspicious.
Comrade Grumpy
(13,184 posts)Do you not believe the recantation?
What are suspicious about?
el_bryanto
(11,804 posts)Could be "positive" pressure (here take this money and tell people you lied) or negative pressure (Do you really have the money to stand up to a libel suit). Not saying that happened here myself, but it seems possible.
Bryant
Dreamer Tatum
(10,926 posts)Comrade Grumpy
(13,184 posts)I don't know the particulars of this case. Has this person presented one scintilla of evidence to back her rape claims?
If not, suggesting that she falsely recanted seems to be bending over backwards.
el_bryanto
(11,804 posts)I wouldn't know what the evidence in this matter is either. I'm just suggesting that there is a potential reason why someone might recant their testimony.
Bryant
1StrongBlackMan
(31,849 posts)But the libel suit was filed in February and the recanting accuser is said to have repeated her claims 100s of times over 6 months. It's difficult to lie, over time, and not have the claims picked apart ... Especially, when the motivation is to gain notoriety.
NaturalHigh
(12,778 posts)seabeyond
(110,159 posts)Seeing how you were not moved at all by a 16 yr old girl drugged, raped, video, her rape porn distributed for boys to get off on, hash tagged for mocking across the nation.
The only necessary thing to share in that rape thread were numbers, how insignificant rape is.
You seem bothered this man accused in public, certainly causing him problems for 6 months is so much more significant than that girl. Drugged. Raped. Video for distribution and consumption. Mocked across the nation.
Response to seabeyond (Reply #14)
Post removed
el_bryanto
(11,804 posts)I know how I would react if someone suggested i needed a time-out.
Bryant
oldhippie
(3,249 posts)Maybe you need a time out?
(Just curious.)
el_bryanto
(11,804 posts)the implication is that seabeyond can't control her emotions, so she needs to be sent off somewhere until she's back under control. Again, like you would do with a child.
Bryant
oldhippie
(3,249 posts)... that seems pretty appropriate then, doesn't it?
Maybe if it was called a "vacation" or "penalty period" or something it wouldn't offend your sensibilities so?
What is your preferred term?
Oh, and you didn't answer the question of how you would act if someone suggested you needed a time out.
el_bryanto
(11,804 posts)Hypothetically.
It doesn't seem appropriate because Seabeyond isn't a child, and doesn't deserve to be treated as one.
Bryant
oldhippie
(3,249 posts)I like honesty in a person.
Response to el_bryanto (Reply #27)
1000words This message was self-deleted by its author.
el_bryanto
(11,804 posts)I think that she is retaliated against - for some reason she's a lightning road for those who want to silence feminists at DU. While I have seen her say things she shouldn't have, I also believe that she is targeted, both to provoke and then to alert.
Bryant
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)Quantess
(27,630 posts)about what you feel is important.
TDale313
(7,820 posts)Sea's been alert stalked for ages around here. She could post "I love puppies" and someone would alert and at least some of the jury members would vote to hide, just cause it's her. It's gotten ridiculous.
whathehell
(29,053 posts)She's not the only feminist here who gets that reaction, either.
Squinch
(50,934 posts)own name. She was hidden. He was not.
Has she ever been uncivil to you, or are you going on the groupthink here? The next time she is in unable to post, I recommend that you look at her transparency page. The last time, the five hidden posts were very benign.
smirkymonkey
(63,221 posts)I wasn't aware of that. So sorry that happened to you seabeyond.
Squinch
(50,934 posts)the majority of them have never interacted with her.
Others, of course, are offended by women who communicate feminist ideas, but I suspect many - if not most - are just jumping on some ignorant bandwagon.
whathehell
(29,053 posts)seabeyond
(110,159 posts)i stated facts. why would you or anyone think i needed a time out for being out of control, merely stating facts.
oldhippie
(3,249 posts)It's that other unmentionable thing.
Oh, and not using capitals. Yeah, that's it.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)oldhippie
(3,249 posts)This is not my first rodeo, so remain so.
Also, I find it difficult to converse with people that don't use capitals. It just feels, ..... well, .... beneath me.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)Agschmid
(28,749 posts)Squinch
(50,934 posts)oldhippie
(3,249 posts)but one must have some principles.
Squinch
(50,934 posts)oldhippie
(3,249 posts)You probably wouldn't like some of them, but that's OK.
Squinch
(50,934 posts)oldhippie
(3,249 posts)... always have the last word in a thread. Thank you for helping me build my post count.
Next?
Squinch
(50,934 posts)You have at it. Enjoy yourself.
oldhippie
(3,249 posts)It's a fun evening.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)cyberswede
(26,117 posts)oh wait...
BainsBane
(53,026 posts)not at all.
whathehell
(29,053 posts)I'd like to know, because it does sound like you're giving her shit for her feminism.
Maybe it's you who need a "time out".
:
oldhippie
(3,249 posts).... in any one of my posts in this thread, have I given Sea shit for her feminism? Show me, I'd like to see it. I am not anti-feminist.
If you think I need a "time out" feel free to alert.
whathehell
(29,053 posts)then we'll go to yours.
What is the 'unmentionable thing"?
oldhippie
(3,249 posts)(whispering very quietly, because this will start a shitstorm if it gets out ....)
Tone.
(Now, don't tell anyone. It really stirs emotions in certain quarters, just watch.)
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)over how you interpret my "tone". that is not on me.
my tone is perfectly mellow, straightforward, stating facts.
you and others want to make it about some tone issue, cause you do not like the facts.
kinda how you will feel about this post. cause i point out the bullshit in accusing .... tone.
silliness.
whathehell
(29,053 posts)but I believe the "tone" of an internet post is hard to decipher,
given that there's no "sound" involved.
To the extent that it's possible, I'd suggest you be more specific.
Your tone, for instance, seems patronizing and highly sarcastic.
BainsBane
(53,026 posts)Posting while feminist. That's the tone he objects to.
whathehell
(29,053 posts)Eleanors38
(18,318 posts)BainsBane
(53,026 posts)How dare anyone question the superior members of the site? It's pretty obvious it is the content of the posts that you all object to, and you turn to personal attacks because you have nothing of substance to counter with.
Interesting that about a month ago we heard great cries about censorship of bigoted language, but now that Seabeyond questions a member's selective use of statistics about rape, she needs not only to be censored but banished for raising a perfectly legitimate viewpoint that people here don't want to deal with. And that el bryanto asks what is uncivil about Sea's post leads to a similar response from you, we can only suppose because you too are entirely unwilling to address the issue being discussed.
oldhippie
(3,249 posts)How dare I! OMG! Oh My Fucking God!
I'm sorry, I almost can't reply. My sides hurt too much.
"And that el bryanto asks what is uncivil about Sea's post leads to a similar response from you, we can only suppose because you too are entirely unwilling to address the issue being discussed."
You just can't seem to understand, it's not about Sea's facts, it's about something else that you don't like. And you're just going to have to wonder what it is.
BainsBane
(53,026 posts)Since it was not her posts in this thread that were hidden.
Believe me, the last thing I am going to devote time to is thinking about what is in your head. I can't imagine why you think anyone would care. If it's not important enough to articulate, clearly even don't consider it important. We all know one other's posting habits enough to figure out what one another's ideological and personal perspectives are.
oldhippie
(3,249 posts)If it was, I certainly wouldn't be discussing it here. I just thought I would drop in for a visit.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)oldhippie
(3,249 posts)You might give it a try. It should be fun.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)your core principles and seriousness with discussionist, that says a hell of a lot.
oldhippie
(3,249 posts)... and you would enjoy wielding your intellectual wit. If you dare.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)dog dare you.
never worked with me much. i was sure to teach the boys, from the youngest of age, that is a sure sign of ignorance and lack of character.
you enjoy the simple mind over at the other site. glad you find so much that meets your core principles and your intellectual wit.
oldhippie
(3,249 posts)... when there are two sides and you are not protected.
BainsBane
(53,026 posts)because the people more at home with the Tea Party than liberals, and women and people of color in particular, are free to express who they really are.
oldhippie
(3,249 posts)... people should not express who they really are? Better to pretend, like they have to here?
Squinch
(50,934 posts)people of color, and LGBT people, then they should probably find another site that isn't called Democratic Underground.
You get that, don't you?
oldhippie
(3,249 posts)... have some different thoughts on others? Does their lack of ideological purity pretty much exclude them from this site?
Squinch
(50,934 posts)are antagonistic to the idea of equal rights for those groups, it does seem obvious, doesn't it? I think that when people come here specifically to be antagonistic to the idea of equal rights for women, people of color or LGBT people, that's pretty much the definition of troll.
You get that, don't you?
oldhippie
(3,249 posts)You dodged it.
Squinch
(50,934 posts)Now, you have stated that the core principle in your ethic is to have the last word in a thread, so you go ahead and show us how principled you are.
oldhippie
(3,249 posts)Does their lack of ideological purity pretty much exclude them from this site?
Good night.
BainsBane
(53,026 posts)Though I would think it would be frustrating to continually feel you have to hide your true views.
whathehell
(29,053 posts)Forget "ideological purity" -- Equal rights for all is a core belief.
Maybe those with a lingering sense of superiority based on a birth condition
should work out their noxious sense of entitlement elsewhere.
BainsBane
(53,026 posts)I certainly don't. I think the ones that do have to pretend here are better suited for the other site.
oldhippie
(3,249 posts).... which many think may have been skinner's intent. I dunno.
BainsBane
(53,026 posts)Principally because so many of the people who claim to be liberals are indistinguishable from the right-wingers on many issues.
oldhippie
(3,249 posts)... it's because they don't have to pretend over there?
Squinch
(50,934 posts)why aren't you over there right now, basking in the freedom to flout democratic principles?
oldhippie
(3,249 posts)... fun to come over here once in awhile and see what's going on. I am, afterall, a contributing member here. Am I not welcome?
Squinch
(50,934 posts)seabeyond
(110,159 posts)good. giggle and high five that you are da man.
the thing. this is being a disruptor and you admit it on this thread. the purpose to taunt and cause problems. takin' jabs.
contributor or not.
oldhippie
(3,249 posts)... just discussing stuff. Do you disagree with something I said?
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)oldhippie
(3,249 posts)... I know.
Anyway, it's been fun.
And as Shakespeare said, - "All the internet's a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts."
Exit - stage left.
BainsBane
(53,026 posts)Response to Post removed (Reply #17)
Post removed
BainsBane
(53,026 posts)Do you think this is a game? People's lives are being hurt, both rape victims--in the case of those actually assaulted--and men falsely accused, as this instance appears to be.
oldhippie
(3,249 posts).. appropriate term?
BainsBane
(53,026 posts)for trolling and/or misogyny never had time outs. They clearly are not as much of a determinant as you seem to think.
oldhippie
(3,249 posts).. not that I can see how it makes any difference.
LanternWaste
(37,748 posts)The statistics of actual versus fictional claims of rape does seem quite germane, regardless of whether you perceive it as a personal attack or not.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)and all you posts were stats that rape has decreased so.
that is fact.
i do not need a time out for fact. surely.
"bile"?
would be walking into a thread of a 16 yr old that was drugged, raped, videod and distributed for consumption, hashtagged monking across the nation, and the only concern is rape is decreasing.
out of control?
stating a fact is not out of control.
personal attacks?
you walk into a thread on a 16 yr old girl that was drugged and gang raped. and you put up stats.
stating the facts is not a personal attack.
BainsBane
(53,026 posts)That he turned to personal attacks only highlights that he couldn't respond based on substance.
qazplm
(3,626 posts)The ones that say 2 percent? Or the ones that say in the 40s?
I don't believe either set of stats to be honest. I certainly believe the number is higher than 2 and lower than 40, but I have no idea what it truly is, and I don't believe the "stats" compiled to this point have an accurate hold on it either.
It happens enough to be an issue, but not enough that you shouldn't treat every accusation of rape with seriousness and a strong investigation.
Squinch
(50,934 posts)sabrina 1
(62,325 posts)try to undo it. I give her credit for at least admitting the lie. Others wait sometimes for years after someone has had their lives ruined before having an attack of conscience.
As she said, she has seriously harmed the cause of those who actually have been raped. And no doubt, as we see already in this thread, damaged the reputation of the person she accused because this kind of thing can never really be undone.
I remember the Dem who was falsely accused of corruption after being vindicated asking 'but how do I get my reputation back'.
Your comment here demonstrates the harm done even though she now admits to lying. His reputation is forever tarnished.
moriah
(8,311 posts)http://www.digitaltrends.com/web/its-catfishing-season-how-to-tell-lovers-from-liars-online-and-more/#!beWAi2
As much as I always want to give victims the benefit of the doubt, the confusion about dates really makes me think this is a lie. Even before she made the accusation online, she was making comments about the band, including saying that she allegedly attended a concert on her 16th birthday and that he pulled her up onstage and sang happy birthday to her. However, there was no concert for that band on her birthday that year in that town for her to rape her at or sing her happy birthday at.. She then said it was a side project's concert the year prior. That date does check out, but a sixteenth birthday is very memorable.
She also said that she puts her son to sleep with music from the band. After I was raped, I could barely handle living in the same town (and did move a few months later), let alone listening to my rapist's voice *putting my child to sleep*. The idea makes me puke a little in my mouth.
1StrongBlackMan
(31,849 posts)Response to Aristus (Reply #1)
yeoman6987 This message was self-deleted by its author.
zappaman
(20,606 posts)Glad it didn't drag on any longer.
moriah
(8,311 posts)... when the context of the situation in any way involves alleged sexual behavior? Because that's what she is, yet, I feel somehow non-PC for thinking it.
Please don't judge every rape victim based on attention-whores like these.
BainsBane
(53,026 posts)She committed a felony, as does anyone who makes a false rape allegation. The phrase you chose doesn't capture the seriousness of those actions, and it unnecessarily perpetrates negative language about female sexuality.
As it specifically insults a woman for sexual activity in a way a man would not be negatively judged
moriah
(8,311 posts).... as I would a woman.
Perhaps even more harshly, given how difficult it is for men to report rape at all.
Squinch
(50,934 posts)like "slut" and "whore" do to women. When we criticize men, we call them names, and harsh ones, and that's fine. But we generally don't criticize men with words that specifically refer to their sexuality. With women, though, most of the words we use DO refer specifically to their sexuality, and do so in a way that suggests that sexuality is negative.
So I'm all for judging this person harshly if she is lying. Better yet, throw the book at her. But the crime here is that she was a liar and she tried to ruin another person. The crime here is not about her being a whore.
riqster
(13,986 posts)whathehell
(29,053 posts)moriah
(8,311 posts).... that they'll do or say anything to get their 10 minutes, no matter who it hurts? Definition of the phrase to me.
The *only* reasons I felt slightly non-PC was that it was a woman, and that people still confuse rape with sex when the two are only coincidentally related. *I* know that rape has nothing to do with sex, therefore it was not a comment at all on her sexual behavior, but not everyone does. If it'd been a male and they'd lied about any *other* thing just to get attention, I don't think the non-PCness would have struck me.
Squinch
(50,934 posts)moriah
(8,311 posts)He's called *himself* a whore, without the "man" prefix that usually gets attached to the type of behavior he's so proud of yet women are usually judged for, for so long that his face comes to mind when I hear the word.
-----
But regardless, Joanie Faircloth sold her lies simply to get attention, so we'd even know her name. She likely suffers from severe psychological problems considering her history of faking being a cancer patient online -- Munchausen by Internet may not be in the DSM-V, but perhaps it ought to be.
Squinch
(50,934 posts)call female prostitutes or very sexually active women "whores" or "prostitutes." The "female" is understood.
Though your friend doesn't use the "male" to refer to himself, it is much more common when the word is used for a man to specify that he is a "male whore." We never say "female whore" because the female is understood.
I don't think we disagree that lies to ruin someone else should be considered a criminal act.
moriah
(8,311 posts)I know far more women who embrace the word "slut", and even the dreaded "c" word (there's a book), than many, and then also I know guys (like Issac) who appropriate those and similar words for their own behaviors as well. I'm pretty solidly "third-wave", I suppose. And that's not counting the many people I love who deliberately strive for genderqueerness and try to reclaim the derogatory words assigned to both genders.
My experience is not the norm for everyday America, though.
Squinch
(50,934 posts)of pride for some men to refer to themselves as "man whores." The question is, are we considering what we are saying when we use those terms?
I am not sure that "reclaiming" is possible. Those words were never "claimed" in the first place, by which I mean that they were never positive. So I am not sure why we would try to "reclaim" them.
A woman with a healthy sex life is just that: a woman being a woman. The slut/whore/etc. idea is something that is imposed on top of that by a culture that disapproves of a woman being a woman. These attempts to "reclaim" the words that have always been used to shame women for being women seem to me to pander to that misplaced disapproval.
Gravitycollapse
(8,155 posts)malaise
(268,846 posts)Women like this one create serious problems for women who are actually raped.
Fugg off woman.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)can do that much damage? Then I would think that is on us and we need to reflect. Because as a thinking person, informed. I know better.
malaise
(268,846 posts)who already trivialize rape from spewing BS about women crying rape. You'd be surprised at the number of human beings who are not thinking persons.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)even if this did not happen.
for them, it is about excusing and dismissing rape. not reality.
malaise
(268,846 posts)to wrongfully accuse men of rape.
Whatever!
whathehell
(29,053 posts)I don't think Sea's post suggests anything like that.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)Last edited Tue Jul 15, 2014, 01:45 PM - Edit history (1)
Squinch
(50,934 posts)polly7
(20,582 posts)trying and judging real instances of rape were influenced by her actions ........ we won't know, and neither will the women whose rapists will get away with it. ONE woman not believed by people using this POS example to go by will be too many.
And, not to make light of at all the damage she could have done to this one man and his family's life - possibly ruining them had this been carried through and him convicted of it. I don't understand it and never will, but it is sick behaviour and as a rape survivor it pisses me off, minimizing something so horrible by lying about it is like rubbing salt into wounds that never heal.
minimizing something so horrible by lying about it is like rubbing salt into wounds that never heal.
Eleanors38
(18,318 posts)dilby
(2,273 posts)I am sorry but if you falsely accuse someone of a crime, you should be held liable if no crime took place.
Response to alp227 (Original post)
1000words This message was self-deleted by its author.
Warren DeMontague
(80,708 posts)That's a classy way to handle this.
Hoyt
(54,770 posts)Violet_Crumble
(35,961 posts)Bright Eyes are rather boring, but I hope Conor Oberst continues with the libel suit and wins. What she did, and the damage she's caused to him is so wrong...
pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)The top 3 were Springsteen, Fogerty and R.E.M. The entire concert was great--but too short. The audience happily would have stayed for another couple of hours. And all of the performers were actively working for Kerry, of course.
Warren DeMontague
(80,708 posts)Didn't catch any of the VFC shows, though. I have some recordings of some of em on my ipod.... Springsteen sitting in with R.E.M. alone is worth the download.
I think I saw Bright Eyes at a Bridge Benefit at some point, too.
Hoyt
(54,770 posts)Very good concert. Bright Eyes' band members were all dressed in white and the stage had all these flowers and white furniture that looked like a funeral.
In the same vein, I also like Todd Snider's "Conservative Christian, Right Wing, Republican, Straight, White, American Males"
Drunken Irishman
(34,857 posts)Not a surprise.