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Tue Jun 10, 2014, 09:53 AM

This is important: steps to take if you cannot figure out a stranger's gender

1. MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS

91 replies, 8579 views

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Reply This is important: steps to take if you cannot figure out a stranger's gender (Original post)
Recursion Jun 2014 OP
MADem Jun 2014 #1
Recursion Jun 2014 #2
DetlefK Jun 2014 #4
Recursion Jun 2014 #5
Bernardo de La Paz Jun 2014 #49
Hekate Jun 2014 #52
MADem Jun 2014 #56
Ed Suspicious Jun 2014 #57
Bernardo de La Paz Jun 2014 #69
jberryhill Jun 2014 #12
1StrongBlackMan Jun 2014 #38
bettyellen Jun 2014 #39
DesertDiamond Jun 2014 #42
bettyellen Jun 2014 #90
djean111 Jun 2014 #40
jberryhill Jun 2014 #63
djean111 Jun 2014 #64
jberryhill Jun 2014 #66
bettyellen Jun 2014 #89
Leme Jun 2014 #3
Leme Jun 2014 #6
PowerToThePeople Jun 2014 #9
unblock Jun 2014 #10
Leme Jun 2014 #16
Ms. Toad Jun 2014 #22
Leme Jun 2014 #24
Ms. Toad Jun 2014 #26
Leme Jun 2014 #29
Ms. Toad Jun 2014 #50
Leme Jun 2014 #51
Ms. Toad Jun 2014 #53
Post removed Jun 2014 #54
aikoaiko Jun 2014 #78
unblock Jun 2014 #7
FSogol Jun 2014 #11
unblock Jun 2014 #13
Leme Jun 2014 #17
JimDandy Jun 2014 #80
Boxerfan Jun 2014 #8
betsuni Jun 2014 #14
Boxerfan Jun 2014 #15
Ms. Toad Jun 2014 #23
AtheistCrusader Jun 2014 #18
Leme Jun 2014 #28
AtheistCrusader Jun 2014 #31
Leme Jun 2014 #36
justgamma Jun 2014 #19
SkyDaddy7 Jun 2014 #20
Recursion Jun 2014 #21
thesquanderer Jun 2014 #61
jberryhill Jun 2014 #65
aikoaiko Jun 2014 #82
SkyDaddy7 Jun 2014 #81
Ms. Toad Jun 2014 #27
thesquanderer Jun 2014 #62
gollygee Jun 2014 #76
snooper2 Jun 2014 #25
TeeYiYi Jun 2014 #43
Tommy_Carcetti Jun 2014 #30
Recursion Jun 2014 #32
Tommy_Carcetti Jun 2014 #33
Recursion Jun 2014 #34
Tommy_Carcetti Jun 2014 #83
edbermac Jun 2014 #35
IronLionZion Jun 2014 #37
bettyellen Jun 2014 #41
DesertDiamond Jun 2014 #46
Spitfire of ATJ Jun 2014 #44
randome Jun 2014 #45
ErikJ Jun 2014 #47
Ilsa Jun 2014 #48
Orrex Jun 2014 #55
Zorra Jun 2014 #60
Orrex Jun 2014 #68
Zorra Jun 2014 #70
Orrex Jun 2014 #71
Zorra Jun 2014 #72
Orrex Jun 2014 #75
Orrex Jun 2014 #91
Ilsa Jun 2014 #84
Android3.14 Jun 2014 #58
KamaAina Jun 2014 #59
butterfly77 Jun 2014 #67
randome Jun 2014 #73
butterfly77 Jun 2014 #74
JI7 Jun 2014 #77
tridim Jun 2014 #79
pipi_k Jun 2014 #86
nilram Jun 2014 #85
WinkyDink Jun 2014 #87
needledriver Jun 2014 #88

Response to Recursion (Original post)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 09:58 AM

1. What brought this on? nt

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Response to MADem (Reply #1)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 09:58 AM

2. Too long a story to relate (nt)

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Response to Recursion (Reply #2)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 10:03 AM

4. If you can't explain it, why mention it?

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Response to DetlefK (Reply #4)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 10:07 AM

5. I prefer to be pithy (nt)

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Response to Recursion (Reply #5)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 12:16 PM

49. There is pithiness with distilled wisdom or pithy with vulgar obscenity & little wisdom.

When the first resort is to using crude reference to sexual intercourse then usually there is little wisdom present or forthcoming.

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Response to Bernardo de La Paz (Reply #49)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 12:31 PM

52. Apparently the OP is too pithed-off to share the circumstances. nt

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Response to Hekate (Reply #52)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 12:43 PM

56. DUzy! nt

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Response to Hekate (Reply #52)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 12:53 PM

57. ++

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Response to Hekate (Reply #52)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 02:19 PM

69. Well played! nt

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Response to DetlefK (Reply #4)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 10:13 AM

12. Because presumably...

 

One is supposed to ignore, exclude, and not interact with persons of ambiguous gender? Stay away from such persons.

Tough one to decode. That's all I get from the OP.

Obviously, there is a wealth of context absent, and presumably the instruction is not to anyone engaged in customer service. But who knows.

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Response to jberryhill (Reply #12)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 11:40 AM

38. Or, possibly ...

 

Because one should interact with persons of ambiguous gender, any differently than one interacts with someone of known gender ... even in customer service.

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Response to jberryhill (Reply #12)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 11:40 AM

39. not at all. you're to ignore that their gender is not blatant or knowable to you, and treat them as

 

you would any other human being. why would you need to know, why would you even think of excluding someone unless you knew?

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Response to bettyellen (Reply #39)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 11:47 AM

42. The challenge in customer service is that we're strictly to address them as sir or ma'am, Mr. or Ms.

or risk getting in trouble with our boss. I would generally work around them by calling them by their first name, which is actually very much against the rules. But at least offense can be avoided. And that's the whole issue. Saying it's not our fucking business is true, but to say it that way implies that we want to know for some reason other than to simply know how to address them respectfully.

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Response to DesertDiamond (Reply #42)

Wed Jun 11, 2014, 04:21 PM

90. Well, bosses should be advised if it is a problem, and then you folllow their guidelines.

 

Also, it blows my mind how few people never think to use they , them, or whatever neutral pronouns instead of him and her.
I am sure if you put your heads together, you can find a solution.

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Response to jberryhill (Reply #12)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 11:41 AM

40. I think the idea is to interact with persons of ambiguous gender without needing to

 

know what their gender is. NOT ignore them.

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Response to djean111 (Reply #40)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 01:56 PM

63. Good - get a job in which you will be fired unless you use "Mr.", "Ms.", "sir" or "ma'am"

 


The solution suggested in the OP is "ignore them".

That is why it is helpful to elaborate on WTF one is talking about at any given time.

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Response to jberryhill (Reply #63)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 02:00 PM

64. I took "mind your own fucking business" to mean "you probably do not need to know

 

someone's gender in order to interact with them".

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Response to djean111 (Reply #64)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 02:02 PM

66. I have no idea what the OP meant

 


To me "mind your own fucking business" means not to interact with someone. Period.

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Response to jberryhill (Reply #63)

Wed Jun 11, 2014, 06:58 AM

89. Or, maybe you could get guidance from your manager if it's actually a problem?

 

The OP is pretty clear, not sure why you think ignoring people is a good option.

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Response to Recursion (Original post)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 10:03 AM

3. I read there may be 50-60 genders.. it's a continuum

 

some say 2, 3, 6

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Response to Leme (Reply #3)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 10:08 AM

6. i guess it matters to me if

 

someone puts their hand on my leg... or I would like to put mine on theirs.....or similar. I do not like pda much by anyone btw.

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Response to Leme (Reply #6)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 10:11 AM

9. you've been on a roll

 

Welcome to DU.

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Response to Leme (Reply #6)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 10:12 AM

10. only then does it become relevant -- if you're looking for sexual compatibility

but people seem to want to know about gender pretty much no matter what, even when sexual compatibility is not remotely in the picture.

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Response to unblock (Reply #10)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 10:27 AM

16. it might help to know

 

understanding is seldom complete, but looking at things from a differing viewpoint might help in communicating. might

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Response to Leme (Reply #6)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 11:09 AM

22. And once you know someone well enough

to be comfortable with physical affection, just why is it that you need to know their gender?

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Response to Ms. Toad (Reply #22)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 11:14 AM

24. are you talking to me? if so....

 

geez, what a nosy person you are.

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Response to Leme (Reply #24)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 11:17 AM

26. You posted in an open thread, on a public forum. n/t

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Response to Ms. Toad (Reply #26)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 11:23 AM

29. yes, on a public topic... but I didn't ask a personal question...you did. o well

 

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Response to Leme (Reply #29)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 12:23 PM

50. You set up the scenario

I asked why it mattered. That is no more personal than the scenario you set up.

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Response to Ms. Toad (Reply #50)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 12:31 PM

51. o well, you are who you are

 

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Response to Leme (Reply #51)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 12:36 PM

53. And they are who they are -

and if are attracted to them, and know them well enough to be engaging in gestures of physical affection, what difference does it make?

Presumably the topic has either already come up - or you got to the point of being attracted to them in a physical way without knowing. In the former, you know. In the later, it obviously didn't get in the way of being attracted to them.

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Response to Ms. Toad (Reply #53)


Response to Leme (Reply #6)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 02:50 PM

78. And the jury results are in...


AUTOMATED MESSAGE: Results of your Jury Service
Mail Message
On Tue Jun 10, 2014, 01:39 PM an alert was sent on the following post:

i guess it matters to me if
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=5074000

REASON FOR ALERT

This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.

ALERTER'S COMMENTS

This is irrelevant and transphobic and probably homophobic as well. There was no discussion of sex in the OP, but this poster moved onto "they'd better not make a move on me . . . " homophobic trash anyway.

You served on a randomly-selected Jury of DU members which reviewed this post. The review was completed at Tue Jun 10, 2014, 01:47 PM, and the Jury voted 0-7 to LEAVE IT.

Juror #1 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #2 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: its not clear to me what Leme's gender or sexual orientation is.
Juror #3 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: LEAVE IT!
Juror #4 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: dumb comment, but not dumb enough to hide.
Juror #5 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: I find this whole thread a little odd, but this post does not make me sit up in shock.
Juror #6 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #7 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given

Thank you very much for participating in our Jury system, and we hope you will be able to participate again in the future.

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Response to Recursion (Original post)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 10:09 AM

7. indeed, our society is extraordinarily obsessed with sexual identity and roles.

it's literally the first thing people want to know about a person.

"jane just had a baby!"
"wow, boy or girl?"

part of the problem is that english doesn't have third person singular pronouns except for inanimate objects ("it", but the obsession with knowing everyone's gender happens everywhere, even where the language does have such pronouns.


people just find a need to keep things simple, and it helps to put everything and everyone in a box of some sort. personally, i find complex and ambiguous situations fascinating, but i'm a freakazoid in that respect.

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Response to unblock (Reply #7)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 10:12 AM

11. "jane just had a baby!" "wow, boy or girl?" Answer: Yes!

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Response to FSogol (Reply #11)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 10:15 AM

13. nice one ;)



although that doesn't work if you allow for other genders.

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Response to FSogol (Reply #11)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 10:28 AM

17. probably ?

 

but I don't mind answer of boy or girl. A generalization is ok for me.

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Response to unblock (Reply #7)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 03:11 PM

80. Wonder what The Magistrate does in this situation? n/t

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Response to Recursion (Original post)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 10:10 AM

8. But I was really curios....Had a customer at an auto garage I never could tell....

I don't know the thread/reason that you don't want to mention...

But real life many years ago I ran a small auto repair shop. The customers name, clothing etc...all were non gender specific.

Believe me I didn't care for any real reason other than I could not tell.\\

And frankly I think it was a game for the person to split the line. They did it very well.

No offense just had a laugh remembering...

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Response to Boxerfan (Reply #8)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 10:19 AM

14. Was that person's name Pat? (SNL reference) nt

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Response to betsuni (Reply #14)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 10:24 AM

15. Yes-

Yep-you nailed it...

Maybe one of the writers of SNL had met this person. I think this was after that sketch but it was 1996-97 that I worked there...

I didn't mention the name-too stereotypical to be true but there you are...

BTW-Even the shoes...Shoes tell a lot. And I could not get a clue even there...

Edit to add a sad detail...
This person was not playing a game. I had to replace 4 tires that had been slashed due to them being an outcast in the neighborhood they lived in. I do remember they remarked it for being who they were. I totally got it-that they were crossing genders was fairly obvious. But which direction was not.

But definitely not a game for the person & I should not have put it that way earlier. It was a long time ago & that detail was forgotten till after I had typed.

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Response to Boxerfan (Reply #15)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 11:14 AM

23. Thank you for adding that detail -

I was about to chime in and remind you of how painful it is to be gender nonconforming (or to try to live in (often not very convincing) drag 24-7). It is painful enough that a substantial minority (if not a majority) of trans* individuals attempt suicide - and trans* women who dare live the gender they identify with are often the targets of rape, murder, and other acts of violence (particularly if they are trans* women of color). Or perhaps just lesser acts of violence - like having their tires slashed.

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Response to Recursion (Original post)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 10:42 AM

18. OR if you need to know for pronoun sake

politely ask their preference.

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Response to AtheistCrusader (Reply #18)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 11:21 AM

28. no matter how polite,

 

asking a question implies something

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Response to Leme (Reply #28)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 11:26 AM

31. Then my options are

Guess, and be wrong or, drop pronouns entirely.

Honestly, the latter is what I usually do. That seems to work well enough.

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Response to AtheistCrusader (Reply #31)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 11:35 AM

36. i was not paying close attention

 

a couple months ago in a grocery store and used a incorrect pronoun. I apologized enough to not make it a big deal... and I think it was taken that way. I do not think either of us wanted this to be a drama moment. Just an error. My fault I guess, but not a critical error to either of us. Or so it seemed.

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Response to Recursion (Original post)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 10:44 AM

19. Ok, here's the thing

I was unloading a truck, driver and I had been talking for a while. Couldn't figure out whether man or woman. Couldn't read name on bill.

Horrors for me. He just had to ask for restroom. What to do? Gave him directions to both. He came back and said "I'm a man!" Because then he knew, I couldn't tell. I felt so bad.

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Response to Recursion (Original post)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 10:53 AM

20. What if I am curious?

I may be attracted to them?

Your one size shoe fits all is STUPID!

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Response to SkyDaddy7 (Reply #20)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 11:07 AM

21. If you're attracted why do you care his or her gender?

That's a weird idea.

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Response to Recursion (Reply #21)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 01:25 PM

61. Because my interest in a sexual relationship depends on their gender. You really think that's weird?

I could see finding an ambiguous face attractive. But if it turns out that their genital area is not the type that appeals to me, no, I would not want to date them. An attractive face and personality is not enough. It is not exactly uncommon to have strong preferences as to which body parts one likes to play with and what one likes to do with them.

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Response to Recursion (Reply #21)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 02:00 PM

65. I always liked this clip

 

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Response to jberryhill (Reply #65)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 03:18 PM

82. priceless. staged, but priceless.

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Response to Recursion (Reply #21)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 03:14 PM

81. No it is not!

How dare you tell me I am "weird"...Or what my preference in partners is "weird".

I suspect you already have the directions of where you need to go.

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Response to SkyDaddy7 (Reply #20)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 11:18 AM

27. If you are attracted to them,

You would seriously stop and say - wait, let me turn off my attraction because I can't be attracted to you because you are the wrong gender?

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Response to Ms. Toad (Reply #27)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 01:33 PM

62. Yes, I would seriously say that. More or less.

It's not a matter of "turning off attraction" but rather recognizing that other things that are important to you are missing, and so you wouldn't want to engage in a certain type of relationship. Heck, you can be initially attracted to someone, and then choose not to date them because they're Republican!

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Response to SkyDaddy7 (Reply #20)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 02:42 PM

76. How about have a general conversation and get to know the person

People aren't obligated to tell you their gender even if they appear ambiguous, and they also aren't obligated by any means to tell you what anatomy they have, and your question suggests to me that you're mainly wondering that.

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Response to Recursion (Original post)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 11:15 AM

25. My neighbor contiually refers to my cat Samy as "she"

 

Don't know how many times I have told her that he USED to have balls

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Response to snooper2 (Reply #25)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 11:50 AM

43. Everyone knows...

...that cats are girls and dogs are boys.

TYY

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Response to Recursion (Original post)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 11:25 AM

30. Sometimes it's important for business.

When a contact person has a gender neutral sounding first name and you can't find any pictures or bios on the internet, and yet you want to address correspondence to them. The whole "Mr." vs. "Ms." thing becomes a leap of faith.

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Response to Tommy_Carcetti (Reply #30)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 11:27 AM

32. And is asking "Mr. or Ms." that awful?

If you honestly can't tell, I guarantee you're not the first to be in that position, and I bet the subject is used to it and won't be offended by an honest request for information, if it's in fact needed for form completion.

Call me naive.

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Response to Recursion (Reply #32)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 11:28 AM

33. If I'm writing a letter or email?

I guess I can call the recipient's office to inquire as to the gender, but that in and of itself is extremely awkward.

I suppose you can just go the whole informal route. "Dear Jamie..."

But if the content of the letter isn't informal itself, that also gets a bit awkard.

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Response to Tommy_Carcetti (Reply #33)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 11:31 AM

34. It's 2014. I open with "Hi Pat:"

Incidentally, I've heard twice that that's how I got my job, because I bothered to research the HR person's name and addressed a specific letter to him or her...

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Response to Recursion (Reply #34)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 03:31 PM

83. Again, context still matters. Even in 2014.

If you have to address someone and the context really doesn't call for a first name basis, you'll find yourself in quite a conundrum.

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Response to Recursion (Original post)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 11:32 AM

35. Monty Python's The Meaning Of Life

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Response to Recursion (Original post)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 11:36 AM

37. Sometimes you want to address someone with something more respectful than "Hey You!"



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Response to IronLionZion (Reply #37)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 11:43 AM

41. You say- "Hi, I'm XX!" and proceed accordingly. Let's not pretend it's an actual problem, LOL.

 

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Response to IronLionZion (Reply #37)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 11:52 AM

46. That's pretty much what I said above. You can get around it a lot more easily in personal

conversation, but in call center customer service it's always a nervous moment when we answer the phone and we can't tell by the voice, and the customer on top of that has a name that doesn't tell us the gender. I would use the first name even though it's against the rules. There was no other way to avoid the risk of offending.

But I'll say again, the statement that it's none of our fucking business is kind of an insult to people who are only trying to do their jobs in a respectful manner.

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Response to Recursion (Original post)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 11:51 AM

44. Unless your business is fucking.

 

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Response to Recursion (Original post)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 11:52 AM

45. Is this an 'Orphan Black' reference?

 


[hr][font color="blue"][center]TECT in the name of the Representative approves of this post.[/center][/font][hr]

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Response to Recursion (Original post)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 12:00 PM

47. More embarrassing than anything. When u call someone a he when

 

on 2nd look u realize its a she. I deal with a lot of people every day in fast moving situations and have called several she's, he . VERY embarrassing.

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Response to Recursion (Original post)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 12:06 PM

48. Kind of makes it hard to be polite on the phone, though

if I don't have a name and don't know what pronouns to use. It's happened to me before.

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Response to Ilsa (Reply #48)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 12:39 PM

55. I work in a call center, and I run into that all the time.

It can be awkward, especially if the caller (quite understandably) takes offense.

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Response to Ilsa (Reply #48)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 01:24 PM

60. "Hi, this is Zorra. To whom do I have the pleasure of speaking?"

Is how I answer phones when I'm working. Not 100% foolproof, but it takes a lot of the guesswork out of the equation.

Many LGBT business owners instruct staff to use this as a device to keep insults to transgender or transsexual clients to a minimum.

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Response to Zorra (Reply #60)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 02:10 PM

68. I'm sorry to say that I don't care for that line when I call customer service

I don't doubt that you're able to pull it off successfully, but it has sounded forced and insincere 100% of the time that I've encountered it.

I tend to prefer something along the lines of "may I ask your name, please?" or "may I confirm your name for the phone record, please?" IMO these come across as less stilted or artificial, and they accomplish the same thing.

YMMV, of course!

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Response to Orrex (Reply #68)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 02:20 PM

70. It works great for us. nt

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Response to Zorra (Reply #70)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 02:22 PM

71. Again, I don't doubt that you manage it just fine, but...

I've called a number of places that use that salutation, and it has never seemed genuine.

At best, it has seemed like an empty affectation. At worst, it has seemed patronizing and perfunctory.

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Response to Orrex (Reply #71)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 02:33 PM

72. I think it's pleasant, respectful, and effective. No one has ever complained.

Don't use it if you don't want to.

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Response to Zorra (Reply #72)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 02:42 PM

75. :thumbsup:

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Response to Zorra (Reply #72)

Thu Jun 12, 2014, 09:50 AM

91. Strangely enough...

I had to duke it out with AT&T over a bililng issue yesterday, and they started the call by asking "with whom do I have the pleasure of speaking?"

Alas, their artificial and, ultimately, insincere salutation was promptly eclipsed by the overall content of the call.

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Response to Zorra (Reply #60)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 04:58 PM

84. "I'm Pat." LOL. (Or Jordan, Blake, etc)

It was years ago, and I don't remember if he called me or if I was transferred to him, but I thought he was a woman. I think I said, "Yes ma'am" at one point accidentally, forgetting that the counter-tenor voice might belong to either gender. And that was after trying to avoid using any pronouns in reference to him.

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Response to Recursion (Original post)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 12:53 PM

58. Less than helpful

 

Your advice, while having a certain amusing snarkiness, is only worthwhile if the person questioning is butting in uninvited, (i.e. Bob Seeger's Turn the Page "it's that same old cliche, is that a woman or a man"
Some of us exist in the real world. How about a pragmatic approach to the situation in which you are interacting with someone you cannot identify the gender?
Actual advice
For airport screeners, this must be a fairly common conundrum.
As far as people claiming there are 50+ genders. That's incorrect. There are, barring errors in genetics, only two genders for humans XX and XY. Everything else is gender identity.

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Response to Recursion (Original post)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 12:59 PM

59. Count the colors

 

if there are three, she is a female.

(Note: This only works for cats. )

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Response to Recursion (Original post)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 02:08 PM

67. I don't know about that..

 

I was in a situation a few weeks ago when i was having a conversation at the grocery store with the clerk and another person came up and asked something of the clerk.

I forget what it was but, I said "You can let him" go ahead of me but it didn't come out that way I stumbled as I really looked and said him then her because from what I could see the person was a female but I assumed gay from her clothing and hairstyle. Anyway it was an awkward situation.

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Response to butterfly77 (Reply #67)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 02:36 PM

73. There's the problem: you talked. Don't.

 

Just motion and maybe murmur a bit and no one will have any complaints!
[hr][font color="blue"][center]TECT in the name of the Representative approves of this post.[/center][/font][hr]

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Response to randome (Reply #73)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 02:40 PM

74. Lol!

 

It was a spur of the moment thing,caught me off guard didn't know what to say. The clerk was talking and it was what it was..

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Response to Recursion (Original post)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 02:50 PM

77. maybe starbucks had the right idea with asking people for their name

and just addressing them as whatever name you give them.

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Response to Recursion (Original post)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 03:09 PM

79. If there is a reason I need to know a stranger's gender, I'll ask.

And if they scream, "MIND YOU OWN FUCKING BUSINESS", I will SMH and walk away, never to meet them again.

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Response to tridim (Reply #79)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 07:04 PM

86. I'm one of those unfortunate

people who have a natural curiosity about my fellow human beings, which involves knowing someone's name, the origin of the name, age, gender, where the person lives, his occupation, his family, etc.

No ulterior motive besides being curious.

If someone wants to be offended by my curiosity well...I guess it's going to happen.

If an offended person can't let me know I've offended him without screaming, "MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS!!!" (instead of a more civil, "I'd rather not say, if you don't mind" then I guess he's someone I don't want to waste my time on anyway.

So yeah, like you, I shake my head and walk away from someone who can't understand that lots of people are just naturally curious and prefer to see others as real, interesting human beings instead of nameless, faceless, genderless "Its".

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Response to Recursion (Original post)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 05:43 PM

85. ha, and if in doubt... see step 1.

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Response to Recursion (Original post)

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 07:14 PM

87. Or, you could say, "Hey, SMILE!"

 

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Response to Recursion (Original post)

Wed Jun 11, 2014, 12:19 AM

88. I'm a grey haired white male.

How am I going to know whether to engage in oppression and rape culture if I don't know the sex of the person I'm talking to?

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