Girl Accuses School Of ‘Shaming Girls For Their Bodies' After Being Sent Home For Wearing Shorts

[G_j]

http://thinkprogress.org/health/2014/06/01/3443544/teenage-girl-humiliated-for-wearing-shorts-slams-school-for-shaming-girls-for-their-bodies/

BY IGOR VOLSKY JUNE 1, 2014 AT 10:14 AM



A 15-year-old student in Quebec, Canada launched a protest of her high school dress code last week by refusing to change out of jean shorts deemed too short by school authorities. Rather than comply with the rule, Lindsey Stocker printed 20 posters criticizing the policy and hung them all over her high school. The signs read: “Don’t humiliate her because she’s wearing shorts. It’s hot outside. Instead of shaming girls for their bodies, teach boys that girls are not sexual objects.” Though posters were quickly taken down, their message has gone viral, eliciting an outpouring of support from students.

The incident began after two school vice principles walked into Stocker’s classroom and asked the 11th grade students to press their arms to their sides. If the students’ shorts did not reach their fingertips, they were asked to change clothing.

“In front of all my peers and my teacher they said I had to change,” Stocker said. “And when I said no they said I was making a bad choice. They kept shaking their heads. In front of everybody.” “They continued to tell me would be suspended if I didn’t start following the rules. When I told them I didn’t understand why I had to change they told me that it doesn’t matter – I don’t have to understand the rules, I just have to comply by them.’
Stocker argued that the rule was unfair and especially designed to “target girls,” since school officials “don’t really care what guys wear.”

“People are being judged for the way they dress, they have to change because boys look at them,” the teenager later told the Canadian Broadcast Corporation. “The boys should be the ones who have to learn to treat women better and look at them in a different light.” She has since been suspended for not following the rules.

Stocker’s experience is the latest installment in a long line of examples of schools telling girls to cover up so they don’t distract their male peers. Critics worry that these policies teach girls that it’s their responsibility to prevent themselves from being ogled, rather than teaching boys to have the self-control to refrain from objectifying their classmates.

[Tansy_Gold]

1. Well, I can understand this,

especially if the school has "vice principles."

[elleng]

2. 'I don’t have to understand the rules, I just have to comply by them.'

[laundry_queen]

3. This pisses me off to no end

my girls' schools here have the same stupid rules. Girls can't wear spaghetti straps but guy can go shirtless. Girls' skirts and shorts have to reach their fingertips (my daughters and I joke how this is discriminatory against people - like us - with oddly long arms). Honestly, I tell my kids to ignore it and wear whatever they want and if they get in trouble, then I will get involved (it helps that these are my old schools and old teachers along with some old classmates who are now teachers). These are the same schools I went to growing up and there were no stupid rules like that when I went to school. And nothing 'happened' related to clothing. These rules are just stupid arbitrary sexist rules and I'm glad this has gone viral. My oldest daughter showed it to me a few weeks ago. I thought, good. It's about time.

[dsc]

7. the boys at your daughter's school can go shirtless?

really?

[lunamagica]

8. Boys at your daughters school can go shirtless?

[Orrex]

11. Shirtless? Do you mean like in gym and/or swimming classes?

Or do you mean in actual classroom settings?

[laundry_queen]

12. No, not in the classroom, lol.

yeah, in phys ed (the classes are boy/girl separate in high school)

ETA not that many do, according to my daughters. Apparently they prefer not to anymore, although it was very common when I went to school there.

[Orrex]

13. Got it. LOL.

When boys/girls were separated in phys ed, we sometimes played soccer as shirts & skins, but not so often in math class.

[alphafemale]

17. And I have heard tales from guys who felt themselves....

Too fat. Boy boobs. Too hollow chested. Acne on the back. Scars. etc

And these guys dreaded having to take their shirts off in gym class.

[laundry_queen]

20. yeah nobody should HAVE to take a shirt off

I'm referring specifically to dress code rules that target females while leaving no rules for males.

[alphafemale]

26. The guys have plenty of rules as well.

They are in many areas still way more way restricted as to hair length and style than girls. As one example.

Shirts tucked in. That is a cultural thing and discrimination, for the most part. But many kids with larger waists would rather leave their shirt not tucked.

They certainly could not wear skirts of any kind in nearly any district in this country.

They many times can not wear heels or make up of any kind in nearly any district in this country.

And the short short rules applies to guys as well.

It is just that for decades there has been no sane man that would don them willingly.

Tom Selleck's gorilla hairy beast thighs ruined it for everybody.
Maybe until the end of time.

But

Do not tell me the males have no dress code.

That is an untenable position at its outset.

[laundry_queen]

31. Well

at our school a few guys wore kilts to grad. And at other times too actually. But I'm not in the US so maybe that's why. There are no WRITTEN rules at my kids' (and my old) schools for guys anyway - the rules are supposed to apply to both sexes, but generally target females ('no cleavage' etc) There are no rules against guys wearing skirts or high heels. Oh, and no 'hair' rules at all. Lots of guys when I went to school had really long hair - longer than most of the girls. That was when hair metal was 'in', LOL. Maybe things are just different here.

[progressoid]

44. That was me.

I hated gym.

After I graduated they got different colored lightweight tank tops to wear over top of shirts to denote teams.

[alphafemale]

54. Gym has institutionalized bullying in the school culture for generations.

I am all for physical activity. But it does not have to involve shaming.

[hughee99]

18. A decent number of high school boys would prefer NOT to go shirtless.

When I was in high school, there were always a number of kids who were hoping to avoid playing in a "shirts vs. skins" game. I'm assuming you're talking about during gym class, specifically.

[laundry_queen]

19. Yeah but the difference being rules against it

with girls, they aren't allowed to have bra straps showing or they aren't allowed to wear spaghetti straps (because then bras show), or certain loose tank tops that can gape enough that a bra shows...there are rules against all of that, but no rules against boys going shirtless.

[hughee99]

23. I don't think you quite understood the point I was making.

There were basically rules requiring it. In gym class, if you were on the "skins" team, you HAD to take off your shirt. At least where I went to school, the only time one was allowed to go shirtless was gym class, and it wasn't the student's choice at all.

I agree there should be consistent rules for all students.

[laundry_queen]

28. yeah, I don't agree with that

we had 'pinnies' in different colors so no one HAD to take of their shirts, but most of the guys did, even the heavy ones, when it was hot. Of course, I'm in Canada so we are not used to the heat so the shirts always came off in June when hot weather hit.

[iamthebandfanman]

22. gotta love double standards...

for the record tho, my lil county school in Kentucky was pretty even handed about this sorta stuff..
males coming out of the locker room even for PE without a shirt on would have been unacceptable.. in fact I remember guys being told to go put a shirt on when it was attempted (a few guys tried to when it was time to do our mandated distance run outside)...
for all its faults, they definitely didn't pick sides in clothing battles.. you either matched the dress code or too bad for you (regardless of your gender).. lol

I remember once I had worn a shirt to school with the band name "Mustard Plug" (I was into ska, what can I say) and was told it was '
'inappropriate' because, and I swear to you I quote, 'I think we all know what plug means'... to which I glared back.. 'whats it mean?' lol...
apparently they were taking it in a sexual context...
after some good ole internetin' with the vice principle to prove it was just a band, I was told itd be alright but theyd prefer if I didn't wear it again ... lol. thank god it happened in the late 90s and not the early 90s

[laundry_queen]

29. ha, I graduated in the early 90's

so I totally get what you are saying, but I doubt our teachers would've said anything about the shirt for fear of starting a discussion about it, LOLOL.

I guess I have a really hard time with any dress code - where I live (I'm in Canada, but it's not like this everywhere in Canada) I don't know of any schools that have uniforms or strict dress codes. Growing up there weren't even any rules - just if a teacher or principal didn't like your outfit they would pull you aside and have a talk with you. Once, one guy ripped the ass out of his jeans, and got sent home to change. He refused, because he was wearing shorts underneath and declared his shorts were the same shorts all the guys wore in gym class. So, they let him stay for the day (he lived out of town anyway and had no way to get home). Everything was on a case-by-case basis. I dislike some of these hard and fast rules because they lead to brainless zero-tolerance policies. Plus, with 99.9% of kids if you ask them to dress respectfully and include them in the process by having a discussion, they are likely to comply. I'm not a fan of adversarial relationships with those in charge...school should not be a dictatorship, it should be where young people learn intrinsic discipline and the tools to make wise decisions. But that's going a bit off topic

[boston bean]

33. Here we have people comparing not wearing a shirt at all

to wearing a certain type of shirt.

This isn't making much sense to me. NO GIRLS are allowed to take their shirts off in gym class.

[louis-t]

4. "teach boys that girls are not sexual objects.”

Not easily done. Does any one remember what hormones due to teenage boys? Yes, teach men to respect women, but you will NEVER teach young boys to "look at them in a different light." 14-year-old hormones are powerful. They make you crazy. They are also normal. I don't care for the way the school enforced their rule, but a little moderation in dress is not unreasonable to ask.

[Doctor_J]

5. I would tend to agree.

What if a different girl decides to go topless, or the boys show up in Speedos and nothing else? I think the school should be allowed to set some rules for decorum.

[Nine]

6. Right answer, completely wrong justification.

I have no problem with school dress codes. I adamantly disagree that they are justified by the fact that "teen boys can't control themselves."

[thesquanderer]

9. Boys (and men, for that matter) can control their actions...

...but they cannot control what distracts them.

I agree with posts 4 and 5 above yours, that the school is not out of line.

And it's not like they are requiring burqas.

Also, the student's rationale is specious. However hot it was, I'm sure she would not have been so much less able to handle the heat if her shorts were down to her fingertips. And just how hot was it really? Quebec isn't exactly Phoenix.

And I would not call it body-shaming. They're not implying she should be ashamed of her body. But maybe school isn't the most appropriate place to flaunt and glorify it, either.

As for the sign, women *are* sexual objects, as are men. It's not the entirety of what we are, but it is part of what we are.

[louis-t]

77. That wasn't really the point.

I specifically separated my argument into two parts. The justification for dress codes had nothing to do with the hormonal aspect. When you're 15 and the hormones are running wild, it doesn't matter if the shorts are 4 inches above the knee or 8 inches above the knee.

[seabeyond]

45. Does any one remember what hormones due to teenage boys? the same as for girls. so? and ya...

boys can be respectful. i see it all the time. i saw it when i was that way. why must we insist on creating something that does not have to be, in order for men to feel like all that.

[Skittles]

51. sad how so many people think only boys have hormonal urges

they're simply given way more permission to express themselves, often inappropriately

[IronLionZion]

66. It's an honorable goal

but trying to get others to change their ways is always an uphill battle. Dress code is easier.


There's plenty of hot sex in private religious schools where everyone is covered up too. And girls like sex too. Wearing modest clothing in school is a good thing, but good luck trying to stop humans from doing what we're biologically designed to do.

[demigoddess]

10. we girls could not wear slacks

when I went to school, or my kids either. I am shocked that they are allowed shorts in classrooms. However since we didn't have A/C some girls did wear spaghetti strapped dresses without bras.

[rickyhall]

16. Are you from Texas?

In Fort Worth, girls were allowed pants in 1970, as a defense against short skirts. Some wore shorts under their skirts. But when we moved to Arkansas we discovered girls had been wearing pants for years.

[Nevernose]

39. I lived in TX until I was 12, and ironically

It was the BOYS who were not allowed to wear shorts. Only in gym class. Girls had to adhere to the "fingertip" length rule, but could at least wear shorts. It wouldn't have been so bad, had we not lived in the middle of a literal SWAMP.

[davidn3600]

14. If the boys showed up in spandex, the girls wouldnt be distracted?

I understand the point feminists are trying to make here. But some of this is simple biology.

[leftyohiolib]

30. some people just arent happy unless they have something to rage over

[JI7]

36. why would that be distracting ?

[seabeyond]

46. it becomes a norm. i grew up around swimmers, in speedos all my youth.

none of us made asses out of ourselves cause none of us barely had clothes on. i get men like to play games with this. but, it is not the reality that has to be.

[IronLionZion]

63. I hated speedos so much

and always wore trunks except for some competitions. I didn't care if other males wore it, but I'm a bit more modest.

Hippies often lounge around naked, especially in hot tubs.

[seabeyond]

67. those jumping up and down, clapping their hands, yelling boobies, boobies, are the ones that cant

handle nudity.

and funny you....

mine was back in the 70's. for whatever reason, and maybe it is the pornification of womens nudity, seeing body parts thru thin material was not a big deal then, like we make it today. two practices a day, at least four hours in the thing, we had to get over the shyness.

and people say this is progress. they are wrong. we have just gotten weird and unnatural. but then, isnt that the whole point of porn.

[IronLionZion]

68. I can handle it, but choose not to partake

for lots of hippie events and personal growth workshops I've been to involve nudity, and I always remain fully clothed. I don't mind if others are nude, I just choose not to hug anyone who is naked. I've noticed younger people at those events choose to remain clothed as well. It's mostly the older hippies who find nudity very liberating.

[seabeyond]

69. that is the thing. in our oddest of way... we have compartmentalized our nudity in one slot only.

and it is in the porn. and a specific hetero porn that reinforce patriarchy. in our music, tv shows hbo, porn. we do only one thing with nudity.

why would the young ones want to strip down???? if it is anything healthy. cause.... that is not how nudity is presented to them. that is not what they grew up with. and that is not what our society today sees with nudity.

and in my time. skinnydipping. from pool to pool. hot spring, to hot spring.

and it was all undress at the same time and do not be a damn ass, or everyone was all over you. not lining up the girls for a strip tease and the boys jumping up on their toes, clapping their hands yelling... boobies boobies.

and i say it like that for the smile. to make it a little more gentle, a little more light. but the reality is, the boys are probably much more vulgar as they demand their show.

why would our kids want to do nudity? my kids were naked. by the time it got hot enough, as much as i could leave the diaper off, i did. so many picture of oldest.... naked. in all forms of play. outside. my inlaw finally ask me to please raise the camera. it had never filtered thru my mind.

and i did raise the camera. cause that was not my intent. just had not thought about it.

that is the difference in what we do with nudity.

[IronLionZion]

78. Careful with the camera

there was a story posted of how an anti-fracking testimony was derailed by accusations of child porn when a woman took pics of her very young kids in the bathtub. I think they charged her with something. It was ridiculous.

[seabeyond]

79. ya. i am just not afraid. lol. something was up there, i am sure. i do not see we are to that

point of unreasonable.

generally there is always more to the story

[IronLionZion]

62. A boy got sent home for wearing bike shorts

at a grocery store where I worked. For simple biology, boys also have more stuff on the outside of our bodies that would show in tight clothing. They promptly instituted a long pants and collared shirt policy for everyone, plus ties for males.

[seabeyond]

70. now, this is the other fun i have today. my boys. are so comfortable with their body.

while so many are not in this area, cause of the very messed up we are teaching nudity today. my oldest is a runner. in itsy bitsy shorts. i saw three of the runners on his old team out there this dec. 30 degrees. little shorts, no shirt. gloves and a hat. standing on the corner chatting, taking a breather in their run.

shorts are getting shorter and tighter on our boys. both my boys are liking it. but... this really brings a healthier.

boys fashions. hawaiian shirts too. lol.

you should hear the ugly though that my son and his team gets, while out running 10-15 miles, daily. totally abusive. that these boys dare strip down. the girls in their running outfits get admired stares. the boys? from the same men, as my son says.... ya know, the older men with..... ya ya ya

interesting.

[WilliamPitt]

83. My brain just died.

[SheilaT]

15. I'm okay with realistic

dress codes. There really is such a thing as shorts or skirts that are too short to be worn in school.

If any of the kids get a "real" job eventually, their dress codes for work will be vastly stricter than what most schools enforce. I'm not suggesting the kids dress as if they worked for IBM, but they need to understand and the parents need to hold them to wearing clothes that are appropriate for school, not the playground.

I drove a small carpool when my kids were in school, and one time I made the girl, then a senior, change because she came out to the car wearing short-shorts. She was furious with me, but I held my ground.

Yes, boys need to be taught to respect girls, but girls also need to understand that certain clothes belong in certain environments, not in others.

[alphafemale]

21. Reasonable dress codes are NOT an affront to anyone's rights.

The dress codes they have in school are generally MUCH less stringent than what she is going to find in anyway halfway businesslike place of employment.

And call me a prude but I think whether you be a boy or a girl your shorts should be longer than your genitals.

[Throd]

24. What kind of shorts? Details matter.

Was she wearing sensible shorts or did she look like a Lakers cheerleader circa 1973? There is a difference.

[Ash_F]

25. I am assuming the outfit she was wearing is the one in the article

Looks pretty tame to me.



Good to see kids getting involved in social activism at a young age. Hope it sparks a trend.

[Lizzie Poppet]

35. Those shorts are hardly skimpy "booty shorts."

And it's not like teenage boys need skimpy outfits on girls to be thinking about sex every ten seconds...

[riderinthestorm]

41. Another inch on those shorts would have made zero difference

On either the modesty factor or the ostensible hormonal boy teenager.

Zero difference.

This girl is correct in calling out the school administrators.

[sufrommich]

42. Yeah,I'm not seeing the problem and

good for her.

[seabeyond]

47. those shorts came close to the fingertip test anyway... i tried it our on myself.

not the short shorts. but short .... not the mid that i hate.

[steve2470]

53. those are decent shorts

I think the school administrators might have taken her in a back room, quietly asked her to comply with the rule next time (or changed the rule altogether), and let it go at that. I hope they equally enforce that rule on the boys too, unless they completely change it.

[Ash_F]

27. DU showing its age in this thread. /nt

[Le Taz Hot]

58. Really?

How so? You know the age of all these posters do you?

[Ash_F]

73. That's adorable. /nt

[Le Taz Hot]

80. That's what I thought.

Just wanted to verify.

[HockeyMom]

32. South Florida Public Schools

No shorts? lol The schools that had uniforms, including Parochial/Private, had uniform khaki walking shorts with something like a collared solid color golf shirt. The girls uniform shorts were identical to the boys ones. They did have uniform skirts or jumpers for the girls, but not many wore those. Why? There was no PE uniform so the girls who wore the skirts always had to wear shorts underneath those skirts. Want to see my panties?????? Easier, and cooler, to just wear the uniform shorts. Too HOT most of the year for long pants. If you have ever seen an LL Bean catalog for kids, that is what the school shorts uniform looked like.

Staff also could wear shorts to work, but they had to be City/Walking Shorts which came just above the knee. Only Denim was not allowed. Yes, staff wore flip flops too. Personally, I passed on the flip flops since I pushed, and lift out of, kids in wheelchairs. Not fun getting your toes run over by a wheelchair, besides being very dangerous in flip flops to lift a special needs child.

[MadrasT]

34. ??? Kids are allowed to wear shorts to school ???

Yeah, OK, well... not in my day.

I don't have a problem with "shorts must be fingertip length" as long as same rule is applied to boys.

There is nothing at all wrong with requiring specific clothing for school.

[seabeyond]

48. i cant get son to wear jeans when it is single digit. ya, they wear shorts, lol. nt

[Louisiana1976]

37. Kids' school dress codes are more liberal than job dress codes. My last job was at a

company where we weren't allowed to wear anything denim.

[gollygee]

38. My only problem with dress codes is how they sometimes word them.

I think it's reasonable to expect fingertip length shorts for both boys and girls.

I don't like how, at some schools (inlucing my older daughter's school) the dress code is written stating specifically that girls can't wear some things because they're distracting for boys. I don't care what their reasons are but they don't need girls to be sitting in school worrying about that. It's also distracting. Just say that short shorts are unacceptable and leave it at that.

[Nevernose]

40. Sounds like those administrators have way too much free time

Going class to class to perform whole class dress code checks? And what's the point this late in the year? Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I'm all for dress codes -- I'm a teacher -- but going out of one's way to fight a battle over the shorts in question is just dumb as hell.

[G_j]

43. and certainly a terrible way to deal with a dress code

by preforming this check in front of everybody, it predictably made the girl feel shamed, and no doubt leading your typicle HS rumor mills to speculate on her provocativeness. stupid people

[Blue_Adept]

55. Well...

I'm sure there aren't many girls wearing shorts in the middle of winter in Quebec. So now that it's warm, it would be the time to check for that?

[Nevernose]

57. Good point

I live in Las Vegas. There aren't many days the kids aren't wearing shorts

It's still weird to be going room to room.

[uponit7771]

65. +1

[Nye Bevan]

49. "Fingertip length" is a common and reasonable (IMO) dress code.

The student in question appears to be the only one who is focusing on the "boys looking at girls" angle. And I am pretty sure that boys who showed up at school wearing shorts that short would face similar repercussions.

[LostOne4Ever]

50. These left over traditions from our puritanical past need to die.

Either give all the kids a single uniform (same for boys and girls) or let the kids dress however they like so long as it does not physically hamper their ability to learn.

Those shorts are fine.

[Violet_Crumble]

52. This is in Canada, not the US...

I'm fine with that dress code as long as it's applied the same way to both boys and girls. The school isn't saying the kids can't wear shorts, but that they've got to be longer than their fingertips. Coming from a hot place myself, quibbling over a centimetre in length has nothing to do with the heat.

Anyone who's watched Bear Grylls knows that when facing the extreme heat this girl must be facing, you have to drink at least 10 litres of water a day, wear loose cotton that covers yr entire body to protect you from the sun, gut a dead camel and drink the contents of its stomach, eat a crunchy bug for the carbs, then go find a cave to sleep in until the heat of the day has passed! Anything else is just rank amateurism...

[The Straight Story]

56. I bet the school admins don't like Sports Illustrated either (nt)

[seabeyond]

59. what? da doors didnt work for you?

[davsand]

60. Gawd, we are LIVING this shit right now in my household.

I'm going to state straight away that my own personal feeling is that for kids in school the only "dress code" that they should need is "Is everything covered that the law says should be?" and "is it clean?" If that offends you, then quit reading right now because I am only gonna piss you off.

School is not a workplace, and school is supposed to be a place for kids to learn--and part of that learning is about who they are and what works for them. If they want to wear nothing but purple spandex or a kilt every freaking day, then so be it. I've heard the same lame arguments that "The workplace doesn't allow..." and I have NEVER bought into that. School is not a place where kids go to earn a living, and those kids should not be subject to some arbitrary dress code applied by a bunch of adults that managed to get elected to the school board because they are good at playing the political game. As an added observation, I know an awful lot of adults who choose NOT to work in some restrictive workplace, in part, because they resent and dislike the narrow minded crap that comes along with those dress codes.

_____

Our local high school is planning to outlaw leggings, yoga pants, and "tight fitting pants" next year. The main argument is that they are "distracting" to some of the students. My 17 year old daughter's favorite school outfits in winter are some kind of leggings, an over-sized hoodie with a t-shirt underneath, and combat boots. There's nothing about that outfit that is sexually provocative, unless you want to MAKE it that way. EVERYTHING is covered, none of it is "see-thru" and she's pretty much covered wrist to wrist, head to toe. The local school now says that is "distracting" somehow.

When I asked what, EXACTLY, was distracting about that outfit, I was told that it was too explicit in outlining the shape of the girls. When I asked about the possibility of maybe taking that as an opportunity to educate about the sexualization of girls, I was met with an uncomfortable stare and not much else. When I countered with a statement that I though we had already established a few decades ago that women have butts just like men do, you'd have thought I was sowing the seeds of anarchy.

They have designated sports uniforms that are scanty, skimpy, and clingy--and that is somehow ok. It is perfectly acceptable to put the girls' volleyball team in shorts to skimpy the girls have to wear a thong with them or else their panties show. It is just hunky dorey to put the girls' track team in tight fitting uniforms or even the cheerleaders in outfits that have cutouts or crop tops--but they want to say that leggings and combat boots are somehow less acceptable??? Meanwhile, the boys' sports uniforms manage to cover up everything and still maintain some comfort. (Go figure!)

The schizophrenia represented here leaves me shaking my head.

You can argue till you go blue and I'll still be convinced that the problems in schools when it comes to clothing, rest entirely on adults who choose to sexualize the girls. That stuff is rooted in policy that adults make, and the kids simply live up to it.


Laura

[riderinthestorm]

64. + 1000000!!!!! Bravo! Im also the mom of a 17 yr old daughter in the exact same situation

It got so bad at her high school last year that when she wore jeans with the knees ripped out (her favorite pair) the school told her she had to put tights or leggings on underneath because her knees were exposed.

Her knees!



They're revising her school's dress code for next year to ban yoga pants, leggings and yes, jeans with ripped out knees. It's ridiculous.

I agree with you 110%. Have said my piece to the school board during the hearings to revise the school dress code but frankly it's just as well my teen is graduating this year....

[seabeyond]

72. see. this is too cool listening to you two. two boys. uh hu. hm. nt

[davsand]

74. Oh--we've even discussed the idea of writing the GED over the summer and starting college this fall.

This has pissed my daughter off enough that she's threatened to just quit school, take the GED, and start college this fall. The child has already been taking dual credit classes and has some college credit already so it wouldn't be much of a change for her academically. She has also threatened to just keep on wearing what she wants to school and fighting "the man" every step of the way.

On a personal level, I'd kind of like to see her stay in school for her senior year and do all the extra curricular stuff--but at the same time I have to admit, it would have been attractive to me at that age to just say "fuck it all" and go on with my life. I told her if she wants to stay in there and fight I'd support her, and I'm serious about that. I've also told her that if she wants to opt out and start college, I'll help her do that too.

Something that I have always stressed to my kid is that when you think something is wrong, you stand and speak out. Yeah, I know it is counter culture in a lot of circles, but that is how I've always lived my life. I've had my daughter on picket lines, and at protests all her life, and she's been with me whenever I thought it was physically safe for her to be there. She's been active on social justice issues on her own for a few years now, and at 17 just recently applied for a summer fellowship with the DCCC doing political organizing. My kid is NO shrinking violet and I am extremely proud of her. She's a kick ass woman. If she wants to stay in the fight at the high school, I'll be there with her.

I've talked to a couple of female lawyers already and they both have wanted to wade in on this dress code discussion. Kids really don't have many rights in the schools, however, this discussion is rooted in EQUALITY of treatment, rather than just the right to wardrobe as one chooses. It really is an interesting discussion that I feel is rooted more in the rights of women and girls than anything else.


Laura

[riderinthestorm]

76. Our daughters must be kindred souls. Mine just finished both her jr and sr years in one year

Because she's sick of the school bullshit.

Took 4 online classes during this year in order to finish but dammit she pulled it off.

Another strong willed young woman who sees through the stuff like the dress code for the demeaning cramp that it is....

She starts college this fall.

Oh, and the reason they won't allow the jeans with ripped knees?

They're not "classy"!

I shit you not. And this is a public school. How about opening that Pandora's box of lame excuses for being militant about girl's clothing? "Not classy."

[davsand]

81. I love seeing this next generation in action!

Used to be I thought it was my parents' generation that was such a problem, but now I realize it is MY generation making up this stupid shit. All joking aside--who would have ever thought that the kids of the 60's and 70's would turn out to be such puritanical old farts? I have renewed hope when I see our kids out there doing their thing and making stuff change.

Our daughters will be the ones to make it happen--and that makes me proud to death!




Laura

[seabeyond]

71. "The schizophrenia represented here leaves me shaking my head." this. this. lol.

i have a subthread of it above as i am processing this also. but... and though you are right on all that. daily i am at the school watching all interact. and this is without teacher or whatever, on the skirts of the school. so i am seeing the kids... when they get free. and they are all fine. i am not seeing any big deal anywhere. ya, shit happens. but point. these girls last couple years, the style is more flowing and loose. for about five years it was all about 2 sizes too small. we could not get a top that properly fit.

it is interesting.

[sufrommich]

75. Very,very well said. nt

[gollygee]

82. +1

Excellent rant!

[IronLionZion]

61. "Vice principles" are the worst kind of principles

but I feel really old and prudish even though I'm not. Her shorts look OK to me, but there's nothing wrong with teaching boys to respect girls as people AND having a dress code too. You don't see many feminists wearing short shorts.

[KittyWampus]

84. I support dress codes, as long as treat both sexes fairly. Were her shorts very short?

I'd have to see photo of them.

Wearing shorts that go several inches past your crotch isn't exactly "covering up" to a level of prudery.