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Mon May 26, 2014, 09:40 AM

Unfortunately, there is no "nice" way to prevent massacres

Every parent who has a "weird boy" (yes..they DO tend to be male), KNOWS their son is "off". These parents so desperately want their kid to be "normal", that they move heaven and earth to mainstream these kids into "normal school". What they are doing (in many cases), is throwing that boy into situations he cannot handle, and providing "prey" for the bullies who eagerly await every "new one".

Every parent knows that it's not "normal" for a kid to have no friends, yet this is usually a marker that these shooters have in common.

Kids have an innate sense of "weirdness", and will either shun that person, or will attack them.

Parents desperately hope that this is a phase, and that with mainstreaming, these boys will "snap out of it" and will become "normal".. This rarely happens.

There needs to be a new category of schooling created especially for these kids. They do not belong in "regular school" . Somewhere around 4th grade (as hormones kick in), their life becomes a living hell, and the more clever ones set out plotting their revenge. What starts out as just-going-to-school, turns into 7 to 8 years of a nightmare existence, often followed by anti-social behavior.

Mental health care costs a LOT, and many families cannot afford it, and even when a family can, we know there are ways to "do the counseling" while shielding the true angst these boys feel.

Perhaps a more gentle approach to teaching these boys the skills they need , so they can exist in the world, is needed. It could be home-schooling, or putting them into specialized schools where they could be taught the necessary subjects, but could be shielded from the daily taunting.

We live in a coarse, violent society, and what we are doing now, does not seem to be working.

As more and more "socially inept" kids arrive on the planet, this will be a worsening problem.

Schools will NEVER end "bullying", no matter how many assemblies they have, no matter how many detentions they hand out. Vulnerable, weak, kids will always be targets.

Schools are so large these days, and parents so "occupied", that episodes often are not even handled until it's been going on for a long time..

And of course, ANY child with any sort of anti-social behavior should always be closely monitored, no matter their age..and they should NEVER interact with weapons of any kind. Most are docile, but the ones who are not, can do great damage.

The kid in SB had too much money, too much anger, and too little supervision.

Media tells us that his parents tried, and I'm sure they thought they did, but that kid should never have been "on his own".

It sucks majorly that parents cannot launch these kids into society like most of us do with our kids, but if they want them to live, and if they want to protect others from potential mayhem, they must keep that grown up child with them , and must do whatever is necessary to keep them supervised at all times.

But of course, since we live in the YOOOESSAAAY, we will wring our hands, put out the candles & teddy bears, and do nothing..



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Reply Unfortunately, there is no "nice" way to prevent massacres (Original post)
SoCalDem May 2014 OP
Warren Stupidity May 2014 #1
sendero May 2014 #3
JJChambers May 2014 #4
bluestateguy May 2014 #11
bemildred May 2014 #2
prefunk May 2014 #5
rustydog May 2014 #6
Lee-Lee May 2014 #7
YarnAddict May 2014 #8
redqueen May 2014 #12
JVS May 2014 #9
fried eggs May 2014 #10

Response to SoCalDem (Original post)

Mon May 26, 2014, 09:59 AM

1. strict gun control would be a start.

 

Last edited Mon May 26, 2014, 12:44 PM - Edit history (1)

The problem is not "weird boys". The problem is our insane gun culture.

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Response to Warren Stupidity (Reply #1)

Mon May 26, 2014, 10:02 AM

3. Sure...

... let's get control of guns like we did drugs.

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Response to Warren Stupidity (Reply #1)

Mon May 26, 2014, 10:03 AM

4. Half the people Bailey murdered were killed by a knife

 

Let's focus on the real issue: mental health.

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Response to Warren Stupidity (Reply #1)

Mon May 26, 2014, 12:15 PM

11. That would have (maybe) cut the death toll down

The people killed or injured by the car and knife would still be out of luck.

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Response to SoCalDem (Original post)

Mon May 26, 2014, 10:01 AM

2. People grow up crazy when they live in crazy environments, for one thing. nt

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Response to SoCalDem (Original post)

Mon May 26, 2014, 10:04 AM

5. What would you have done, then?

How do you propose we deal with people like this while respecting their Rights?

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Response to SoCalDem (Original post)

Mon May 26, 2014, 10:04 AM

6. Nothing in your post suggests a positive change

we will NEVER prevent a mass killing. We may try to curb gun violence. But to even hint that we lock up, keep those who match a biased idea of what "sick" is, locked up to keep us "sane" people safe is just wrong on so many levels.

Johnny, at 5 is showing signs of possible anti-social behavior, ship him to the state hospital!

All you need to do is get together and scheme to have your father institutionalized so you can take his wealth...Oh wait, that is why commitment laws were passed!

It is a complex problem. but wanting to remove "sick" people from society in our "Free Country" just to keep you safe is way off-base.

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Response to SoCalDem (Original post)

Mon May 26, 2014, 10:06 AM

7. I've been saying much the same here

 

The biggest problem with all these types is parents and others around them who refuse to acknowledge just what a danger these people are and to then do something.

Parents and family never want to admit a problem is as bad as it is. And when they do they avoid seeking proper help under the misguided notion they are helping their child by keeping them "out of the system" so they don't get "labeled".

Think back to almost every spree killer like this- there were always warning signs. And they were always ignored or acted on too little/too late.

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Response to SoCalDem (Original post)

Mon May 26, 2014, 10:17 AM

8. I've read his manifesto . . .

 

I think most of his problem was that he really wasn't talking to the adults in his life. He was a pampered indulged little brat with a father who was gone most of the time, a stepmother he hated, and a mother who met his "needs" (for video games, etc.) with "extreme precision."

But, none of them ever seemed to sit down and talk to him about his social problems. If he had had a father who could have told him how to meet girls, what a real date was like, etc. things would probably have turned out differently.

Instead, he chose to spend a year, or at least part of it, at an all-boys school, then went to some sort of school where he was only required to be there a few hours per day, after which he went home to play World of Warcraft for as many as 14 hours per day. He seemed to expect that random hot, tall, blondes would come knocking on his door, to adore him. He had unrealistic expectations, with no one to tell him why they were unrealistic.

In addition, he saw the whole world and all of its events only in terms of how if affected him. He thought his mother should have overcome her selfishness to marry a rich man because it's what he wanted. His father had an unsuccessful business venture, and ER was only concerned with the impact it had on his own life; never mentioned that it must have really sucked for his dad, too.

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Response to YarnAddict (Reply #8)

Mon May 26, 2014, 12:19 PM

12. This. nt

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Response to SoCalDem (Original post)

Mon May 26, 2014, 10:18 AM

9. "Kids have an innate sense of "weirdness", and will either shun that person, or will attack them."

So, should we call off the anti-bullying campaigns?

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Response to SoCalDem (Original post)

Mon May 26, 2014, 10:23 AM

10. His parents would have been killed too

if they lived together.

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