Can we PLEASE have a "gender forum" where all gender-based threads can go die?

[FourScore]

Rules could look something like this:

**** If a gender is called out in the OP, but has no pertinence to the topic, it belongs in the gender forum.

**** If the OP is gratuitously sexy for no reason other than to be sexy, it belongs in the gender forum.

Threads about real political topics where gender is a factor, including rape, abortion, LGBT threads, etc., would not belong in the gender forum. Political satire can also be excluded. But the gratuitous stuff...get rid of it.

Any other rules?

I'm just so sick of the gender wars going on right now in GD. It diminishes DU. I honestly think some kind of rules need to be established.

Am I alone in this wish?

[1000words]

1. Ignore and trash features

Seriously.

[TroglodyteScholar]

118. They work great

Why should DU change to accommodate people who refuse to use them?

Absurd.

[1000words]

119. I don't understand the aversion.

Enough folks put a poster on ignore, they've effectively been voted off the island.

[TroglodyteScholar]

122. Exactly....

And it brings me nothing but joy when I see that an ignored poster has responded to me.

I don't get the least bit curious. Just that warm fuzzy "not gonna deal with that garbage again" feeling.

[HappyMe]

2. It would turn into a meta

style war zone, I think.

I use the trash can a bunch right now.

[lumberjack_jeff]

3. HoF would be a great alternative.

Sadly, they've banned so many members from there that the only way to reach the target audience is to proselytize post in GD.

[FourScore]

6. What is HoF? n/t

[lumberjack_jeff]

8. .

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=about&forum=1255

[1000words]

12. Interestingly ...

I've seen HOF used as an abbreviation for "Hair on fire."

[In_The_Wind]

32. Oh my

[Silent3]

67. Actually, that's what I thought HoF really meant the first time I saw it.

Later asked someone to make sure, and for the first time learned about History of Feminism.

[Doctor_J]

97. I thought it was Hall Of Fame, but then I would probably be in it

The actual HoF is pretty monotonous.

[1000words]

102. I wonder ...

if there is a History of Feminism Hair on Fire Hall of Fame.

[Warren Stupidity]

18. A safe haven feminist forum that drives certain people here nuts.

[HappyMe]

117. lol!

Plenty could give a fuck - about any of the numerous 'woman', 'feminist' forums.

[pintobean]

107. Here's a thread with that question

and a bunch of answers. It's a lounge thread from last June.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018415045

[seaglass]

14. Why HoF, the Men's Group already has the gratuitous sexy thread. The SI cover thread could easily

have been posted there. It fits your group.

[HappyMe]

20. So what?

It's their group. They can post whatever the fuck they want to - which is pretty much the rule for any group/haven.

[seaglass]

21. No shit.

[HappyMe]

24. Okay then.

Or is that 'no shit' because it bothers the hell out of you that they have that thread? People that don't belong to a group don't really have shit to say about what is in there. If people start having an 'I don't like that' attitude towards groups they don't belong to, all hell is going to break loose. People need to respect the group's boundaries, whether they like and/or agree with them or not.

[seaglass]

39. It's a no shit because your comment had nothing to do with what I posted and you didn't

say anything that I didn't already know.

I'll repeat what I said in different words. lumberjack_jeff suggested threads such as the OP had wanted in a gender forum should be posted in HoF. Since the OP specifically mentioned " If the OP is gratuitously sexy for no reason other than to be sexy, it belongs in the gender forum." I suggested the Men's Group would be a better fit because they already have gratuitous threads with half-naked women whereas HoF does not. Is it now clear?

You are under a mistaken impression if you think I can't comment about whatever I see on DU, wherever it is.

[HappyMe]

40. I dumped HOF in the trash can long ago.

So I wouldn't know or care if you had 10 naked threads in there.
I said nothing about that, because frankly I'm sure he's kidding.

I agree. We ALL can comment on whatever we see on DU. You have made that clear.

[seaglass]

41. I'm not sure why you keep saying these disjointed off-topic things to me but OK.

Enjoy your day.

[HappyMe]

45. I'm not sure what you are trying to say either.

Enjoy your disjointed, OT day too, dear.

[Warren Stupidity]

61. Now I'm confused.

[HappyMe]

73. As am I.

Pffft. This isn't worth any more of my attention.

[seaglass]

78. Have to admit it was the strangest interaction I've ever had on DU. n/t

[HappyMe]

81. Really?

[seaglass]

83. It might be a tie.

[HappyMe]

85. Are you suggesting I wear ties??!11

How DARE you? I have some lovely pashminas....and make up.....

Shall I send you a lovely chianti....no fava beans ....

[pintobean]

101. See post #18

[MadrasT]

47. Bizarre comment pulled out of thin air. No one said they couldn't.

Project much?

[HappyMe]

48. ...

[OilemFirchen]

86. Why would you assume that a "sexy" thread would be pictures of women?

I would think that HoF would be just as appropriate a group. Or are men not considered sexy amongst the members?

[seaglass]

88. I'm not assuming anything. My comment was based on what exists. The Men's Group already

has such a thread with both females and males. HoF does not.

[HappyMe]

121. Huh.

Oh!

im convinced. they would accept me. oh wait.

[libodem]

75. yep

It was so nice and quite when one of them had her time out. I thought it was worth renewal of my star.

I care that women are treated with respect and equality but this behavior makes it difficult to like some members of my own sex.

I find the deflection of lol after the snotty comments especially disingenuous.

[BuddhaGirl]

89. +1

I agree...now that a certain poster has returned, these ridiculous threads are starting to pop up again

[libodem]

94. All Hell breaks loose

[polly7]

104. Well said.

I HATE the bullying most of all. It makes my skin crawl to see it.

[libodem]

108. Me too

It is the instigating and then the proclamation of innocence and not being serious about the intention. Just throw in a lol and a to prove you are in a hilarious mood and the poor fuck you have furious is taking it wrong.

[Marr]

114. +1

[Feral Child]

155. Agreed.

It's gruesome.

[kcr]

112. I can't help but note how some get so much attention

but others get a pass

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=4515713
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=4517501
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=4503175
This was while Seabeyond was away
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=4385852

[seabeyond]

120. No shit. And here is a sub thread with only intent to diss and insult dyers, YET

We are the problem. What a fuckin joke. The blatant insults are just fine for these people.

[HappyMe]

125. No. the problem is. invading another group

You dont belong to. What a fuckin joke. You expect respect. But don't give it. Blatant insults are just fine for some people.
What a fuckin joke. Demanding respect. When you dont give it. Life is hard.

edit to add -----

[seabeyond]

127. That us so over the top bullshit.

[HappyMe]

129. That is your opinion.

I have mine. You have your's.

Mine is no less valid than your's.

I consider your opinion bullshit. Here we are.

[seabeyond]

130. except i did not start a subthread of insulting duers. you and others did. nt

[HappyMe]

133. Of course, dear.

Whatever you say.

I have better things to do right now frankly, than listen to gender carping in GD.
And the usual ' you insulted me!1'... blah what ever.........you started it.....
.... I haven't dealt with that sort of crap since my sons were 2....enjoy...

[seabeyond]

123. So, you just throw out a jab at hof for no particular reason? Seems like you are the problem

And others that feel it is ok to insult other duers. I think hof was minding their own business.... Again, and YOU chose to start something. How does that make you the good guy, or the others?

[Lizzie Poppet]

4. Thing is, rules isolating certain topics and prohibiting them in GD are routinely ignored.

Notice all the "not big national news" gun threads in GD over the last few months? The ban is still in place, but the hosts don't enforce it. A similar rule for the "gender wars" threads would be only as useful as the hosts' willingness to enforce it (because you know there'd be people who would ignore it and post wherever they see fit).

[Warren Stupidity]

17. Oh that is such a shame!

[Vashta Nerada]

29. Most meta threads stick around as well.

[Lizzie Poppet]

35. Good point.

Hey, maybe we don,t need Meta back after all!

[etherealtruth]

77. Some of these issues are extremely important issues of our day

I know you and I fall on opposite sides of the gun issue ... but, it is an important issue to both of us and neither of us need be silenced or ushered off to an anteroom.

What I wish for on those threads is a little more civility ...

[treestar]

5. I think there are

But what is wrong with discussion of these issues? They are part of the progressive agenda, no?

[FourScore]

9. Not the way they are being handled. There is too much mud-slinging.

And no one is suggesting banning it altogether. It can have it's own forum.

[Warren Stupidity]

19. Yes we need to get all contentious discussions out of GD.

Cats and puppies, 24/7.

[petronius]

50. Just as long as it never devolved into cats *or* puppies

'Cause that could get contentious...

[Warren Stupidity]

51. Good point. Obviously we need GD-Cats, GD-Puppies, and GD-Ferrets.

[seabeyond]

124. If you have an issue, why did you stand by without saying anything when lumberjack started

Mudslinging in your thread and others jumped in?

[HappyMe]

13. Discussion would be good.

But usually the threads turn into insult and accusation festivals.

Abortion, birth control, wages are about the best hopes for any reasoned discussion.

[JTFrog]

71. With you right there in the middle of em.

Just sayin..... you never seem to miss an opportunity.

[HappyMe]

74. lol!

Whatever.

I responded to the make up thing today. Dumped all the rest.

It's a discussion board, do you have a problem with people responding?

You also, don't miss an opportunity apparently.

[itsrobert]

7. I am afraid that I am so sexy

I will be regulated to the gender forum. Just for being too sexy.

[FourScore]

10. Hmmm...I hadn't thought of that. n/t

[HappyMe]

11. What about your shirt?

[pacalo]

135. You're cracking me up, HappyMe.

[Squinch]

27. Itsrobert, the walking, talking sexy rumpus. No forum could contain you.

[Warren DeMontague]

56. That's not a natural rumpus

it's photoshopped. Real rumpuses never look like that.

[pacalo]

136. Ain't photoshopped. Itsrobert likes to wear his rumpus in the front...

[Warren DeMontague]

137. Well thank god there's a fire extinguisher

that shizz is HOT!

[pacalo]

139. No kidding!

If I had known itsrobert was that sexy, I would have given him one of my hearts before I ran out.

[LiberalAndProud]

15. As other have advised: liberal use of the trash can function during these outbreaks.

There are those on both sides of the discussion who take delight in flames. As for me

[Warren Stupidity]

16. Can we please have a "Can We Please Have" forum where all the

Can We Please Have based threads can go die?

[el_bryanto]

22. I envision a DU where each poster has their own forum to deal with the issues

that they care about specifically, without getting dragged into trivial or aggravating threads. Be a little lonely, but that's a small price to pay.

Bryant

[Warren Stupidity]

25. I think we should go to ATA with this RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!!1!!

[Squinch]

30. I love this thread...

[Tuesday Afternoon]

66. And it took 25 posts to come to that conclusion?

We're slipping.

[Warren Stupidity]

68. Back in the old DU it would have been post #2.

[Capt. Obvious]

144. I think that's how the break up of Yugoslavia ended

[LostOne4Ever]

57. You win the thread! (nt)

[Iggo]

26. Right now I have a forum called "Trash Can" where I put them all.

[NCTraveler]

28. Fuck that.

Sunlight is the best disinfectant. There are a handful of people here who are enemies toward women. I want their posts front and center. Some have outed themselves today. Not that they weren't out already.

[Comrade Grumpy]

36. Please elaborate. What kind of post makes one an "enemy of women"?

I usually reserve that tag for especially troglodytic Republican state legislatures.

[NCTraveler]

37. I think you can find one or two of them without my help.

If you can't, that in itself should be an answer.

[pnwmom]

91. Any poster who thinks that all gender related posts should be sent to the dungeon is a candidate. n/

[nomorenomore08]

156. It's the dismissiveness that's telling. And people need to be called on it, no argument from me.

[Vashta Nerada]

31. Make liberal use of the "trash thread" option.

I have and it's great.

[Cleita]

33. There are already such forums and groups for those

issues but those members would rather use GD instead. Go figure. Perhaps the ads should think of banning those topics to those forums like they have guns and Israel/Palestine.

[BeyondGeography]

34. Sounds like Humphrey-Hawkins for DU jurors

[TreasonousBastard]

38. We need a Fight Club forum...

where all of this silly shit could go.

When any threads get contentious, juries and/or hosts can move the thread to Fight Club and just let them duke it out.

There's only a few who keep poking at the scab, and this might be the best thing for them.

[Warren Stupidity]

52. We had one. They took it away. Now this is where silly goes to die.

[TreasonousBastard]

141. Meta had several fatal flaws...

not the least of which was too many rules.

If yer gonna fight it out-- fight it out.

It will not be pretty, and membership will possibly drop, but it will be honest.

[Capt. Obvious]

147. You may be the first person to ever utter the phrase

"Meta had too many rules"

[Warren DeMontague]

42. GenderCratic UnderWar!

[Warren Stupidity]

53. GenderCraptic Underwear?

[Warren DeMontague]

55. Metaspastic Craptastic

Same Shit Different Year-lastic

[1000words]

58. I have nothing to add

Just tired of seeing so many consecutive "Warrens."

[Warren DeMontague]

59. Just remember

if something was said that pissed you off, it was the other guy.

[Warren Stupidity]

60. Youve been warrened about that before. Your post is unWarrented.

[1000words]

62. Darn ... now, I'm surrounded.

And no one Warrened me.

[HappyMe]

84. Don't mention underwear.

Then there will be an underwear underwar uproar, along with a 'landscaping' war.

I'll just leave this here ---

commando.

[Warren DeMontague]

109. Want to cause GD to meltdown into a lava hot puddle of outrage? Post a magazine with 3 women in

bathing suits.

Post something about North Korean concentration camps, and watch it sink like a stone.

BUT BATHING SUITS? OUTRAGEREEEEEERE OPRRESSIOOOOON ARUUGHGHGHG and I broke my caps lock I'm so mad

Same as it ever was.

[HappyMe]

115. Do it.

I would love to see some lava under ware/wear disaster action suffering/ people (men/boys too!). It's gonna be an awesome blame game. MEN CAUSED this!!1! Bastards with their 'dickishness' ( oh noes!! sexist....oh wait....)

If women were in charge, men would still be to blame, no?

[Warren DeMontague]

134. It seems I'm dickish, but cute.

Shit, I can live with that.

[opiate69]

132. Well shit...

Whatever you do, don't Google search "Wicked Weasel"! ... I think that runs the risk of causing massive containment failure of the dilithium crystals!

[Warren DeMontague]

140. Someone did the same thing to me recently with

"LuluLemon Yoga Pants"


Damn you, marketing demons! is there no end to your pernicious perfidy???

[FourScore]

43. I would gladly offer this thread as the first to go in the "gender forum". n/t

[nadinbrzezinski]

44. As said above, ignore and trash

Use them liberally.

[Texasgal]

46. No.

You have the option to read or participate. If not it's called trash.

[Skidmore]

49. No. Sweeping sexism under the rug is not the answer any more

than sweeping racism or any other flashpoint from view is helpful to carrying on constructive dialogue.

[1000words]

54. You feel what's been occurring ...

is "constructive dialogue?"

[Skidmore]

72. There have been some comments that have been very insightful.

It is equally important that some of the ideas and attitudes that reflect sexism be noted and recognized for what they are. Sometimes attitudes are assumed to be okay just because no one in the person's social network sees them as derogatory or undesirable. Calling people on bigotry and sexism provides opportunities to introduce new ways of looking at others and ourselves.

[Coyotl]

63. Dang, another gender thread to hide

[NutmegYankee]

64. It would be a waste of forum space.

Take guns - we have TWO forums dedicated to that topic, one a complete shelter for one side of the debate, and yet that debate and all the bullshit that goes with it still infests GD.

If the goal is to stir shit, GD is the place to do it. Nobody will go to a group to hash it out. Shit-stirring needs an audience!

[Warren Stupidity]

65. K&R for the interesting mix of great humor and people going right off the rails,

which is also in itself another fascinating diversion.

[idendoit]

69. Doesn't this post belong in the Complaint Forum?

[RiffRandell]

70. I Gotta Feeling...

[Gormy Cuss]

76. If you're sick of the "gender wars" in GD, complain in the right place.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=forum&id=1259

[FourScore]

79. Ah! Good idea. Thanks Gormy Cuss. n/t

[VanillaRhapsody]

80. WHY? Are gender bias's not as important as racial ones?

[TransitJohn]

82. It would be nice, and K&R, but, alas, too many people are vested in acting like children

and trying to 'win', and sadly, DU is the victim.

[pnwmom]

92. Are you saying that when women want to discuss gender related issues they're acting like children?

[TransitJohn]

98. Jesus Christ.

No, that's not at all what I said.

[pnwmom]

158. First you agreed that there should be a separate forum where all OP's related to gender issues

"go to die."

Then you said that would be "nice," but too many people are vested in acting like children.

So a reasonable person could conclude that you think when women bring up gender related issues, they are acting like children.

[TransitJohn]

159. No

A reasonable person could conclude that a couple groups on DU, one male one female, consistently use GD to troll each other and act like children. Which is what i said. You read into it what you wanted to. Not very reasonable.

[pnwmom]

160. Why is it "acting like children" for women to question why a T & A photo lands on the front page

of a progressive political site?

[nomorenomore08]

157. No, but MRA responses to feminists are often quite childish. Strawmen, ad hominems, etc. etc.

Not to mention the folks around here (regardless of "side&quot who seem to care more about personal beefs than actual issues.

[pnwmom]

93. Oh yes! We can't have women playing the gender card!

[sufrommich]

100. Disgusting. nt

[Iggo]

105. I don't even know what he said, but...

@ pnwmom

[sufrommich]

99. I wonder if you understand the historical significance

of referring to feminists/women as "harpies"? It has absolutely no place on a progressive forum.

[seabeyond]

126. Harpies? Ya perusing this thread and reading the insults to us women... We are so friggin

Bad

[CFLDem]

142. Nope

Please educate me on the significance.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

149. and yet, there it is. posted by a woman.

[pnwmom]

90. Oh right. Because we passed the Equal Rights Amendment decades ago and women are fully equal

in all spheres of life now, right?



(By the way, the ERA failed.)

[Doctor_J]

95. Rec!!

[WinkyDink]

103. "Die, Gender Threads, Die!" Coming to your multi-plex soon!

[shenmue]

106. Maybe if everyone who posts shitty threads would get food poisoning...

they'd be on the toilet all day and we wouldn't have to read their nonsense.

[HappyMe]

116. Okay.

Female and male carping.

You will be visited by that crappy British woman, and all her damn family will crab at you and follow you....no matter what.

You do get to fight back though.

[elfin]

110. Great idea.

I need to take long breaks from DU. Fortunately, most subject lines are hints enough to the vitriolic or stupid or whiny content, - allowing one to skip or trash. But every once in a while I click on one by mistake and think " Is this the same DU I used to spend hours on back in 2001?"

[Vattel]

111. Some of the discussion on gender war threads is really interesting!

I have learned a lot from gender war threads and have, I think, become a better person as a result. That youtube video about leering was especially edifying. Don't be shy: you really aren't complaining only about threads in which gender is called out but has no "pertinence to the topic," or threads that are "gratuitously sexy." You don't like challenges to conventional liberal wisdom about sexism and gender and such. You want milk toast. Or maybe I am full of shit.

[Marr]

113. You are not alone in this wish.

I feel like a couple of small cliques have decided to move their endless slap fight into General, and it's mostly noise.

[HappyMe]

128. Yup.

The "Kool Kids" wanna fight!

[seabeyond]

131. why did you even start this thread. all day it has died down. why would you start this thread

to continue more shit?

[FourScore]

145. No. That's not who I am. I really wanted a solution.

I had just been embroiled in a discussion which got heated, and I was hidden for the first time in my 10 years at DU. (And rightfully so, I am ashamed to say.) I had avoided commenting on the "gender war" threads up to that point because I knew it would make me so mad. Finally...I succumbed. It did not go well.

I was thinking, we have forums for 9-11 and guns and Israel/Palestine -- why not gender wars??? I was a genuine question.

At first, I looked for the "meta" forum and then remembered it was taken away. Somewhere in this thread someone suggested I pose this question in the "Ask the Admin" forum. I had forgotten about that one. That's where I should have posted this.

Looks like my idea has just perpetuated the problem, but my intentions were sincere.

Also, it did not seem as though it was dying down to me at 2:00 EST yesterday at all. I saw tons of gender threads when I started this discussion.

Anyway...It was just a suggestion.

[seabeyond]

146. fourscore. thank you. thank you for taking the time to explain to me where you are coming from

cause i gotta tell you. walking into this thread and seeing the number of people insulting me personally and our group took me to that anger point. and disgust. walking into another thread, i took it out there a bit. so i get that.

but... clearly the reality, of you starting your thread, manny starting his to mock feminist, the very people whining about these gender wars allow them to flourish with unchallenge insults to feminists on du, and women as a whole. (yes, i get some women are all up in the battle too). while the very people being insulted and mocked are minding their own business.

as i said in mannys thread. you might want to check out who are starting the threads. the flamebait. me... none. a couple from hof though one has well over 100 rec adn merely positive toward women. so shouldnt be flamebait. ALL the many other flamebait Ops are from people agitating the situation, or are throwing the first punch.

if women dare to fight back, they are the ones to blame.

anyway... thank you. thanks for letting me know where this is coming from. cause i am seeing a whole hell of a lot of hypocrisy going on.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

148. this: if women dare to fight back, they are the ones to blame. and this:

cause i am seeing a whole hell of a lot of hypocrisy going on.

[CFLDem]

150. ...

[Tuesday Afternoon]

151. have fun ... here

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018575746

[CFLDem]

153. Golly gee whiz

Thanks mom!

[Recursion]

138. Don't we have six, not counting LGBT and abuse survivors? (nt)

[CFLDem]

143. We clearly need a 7th titled

GENDER WAAAARS!!!!!

[CrispyQ]

152. DU has this great function called "Hide Thread."

Or do you think all topics you find objectionable should be shuffled off to another room so you don't have to be bothered.

I'm going to use "Hide Thread" right now!