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Tue Jan 7, 2014, 01:45 PM

The Rude Pundit: Australia Would Like You To Shove Your Climate Change Denial Up Your Ignorant Arse

Hey, wow, look at that. It's cold outside in the United States. So cold that if you haven't dried properly after showering and getting dressed, your scrotum will freeze to your thigh. Yeah, it's really fucking cold, as it will be for another day. What that means in the grand scheme of things is that everyone you know will write something clever on Twitter, like "Polar vortex? I thought that was Sarah Palin's vagina;" they'll get on Instagram and post photos of ice doing icy things; and another bunch of fucknuts take to Facebook to declare that the fact that they had to wear longjohns is proof that "global warming" is a hoax or some such shit.

You can't do anything about the first two groups. But that last one? Tell 'em that it's called "global" because it means the entire motherfucking globe. And then tell 'em to suck on a kangaroo's sweaty dong:



Most Americans need to be told that that's Australia and that the temperatures listed there are in Celsius. That means the 50 degrees C is 122 degrees here. Temperature, not heat index or whatever they wanna make up to make it seem hotter or colder. It's so fucking hot in Australia that they had to come up with new colors for the map. It's so fucking hot in Australia that you can't use your iPhone. Because it's too fucking hot.

2013 was the hottest year on record, kicking the ass of the old record, which was 20-fucking-12. Not only that, but the temperatures in Australia are hotter than have ever been recorded there. And unlike our punk-ass two days of arctic cold here, the heat wave in Australia, especially in the states of Queensland and New South Wales, has lasted since December 27. That's two weeks of heat that'll singe off a koala's dick. (First person who makes a "shrimp on the barbie" joke gets a punch in the goolies.)

This is not to mention the fires everywhere. And the dead bats. It's pretty much Armageddon down under.

So today, when your co-worker or your aunt tries to tell you about how stupid climate change is or forwards you some ludicrous denialist email from World Net Daily or whatever, send 'em some wallaby jerky and tell 'em they didn't even use an oven to make it. Then maybe explain that a single weather event demonstrates nothing. But years of heat are a pattern. And patterns...you know what? Fuck it. Just throw some hot water on them and ask them if they feel better now.

(Note: This could also have been about Argentina.)

http://rudepundit.blogspot.com/

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Arrow 19 replies Author Time Post
Reply The Rude Pundit: Australia Would Like You To Shove Your Climate Change Denial Up Your Ignorant Arse (Original post)
meegbear Jan 2014 OP
daleanime Jan 2014 #1
JNelson6563 Jan 2014 #2
riqster Jan 2014 #3
Berlum Jan 2014 #4
truebrit71 Jan 2014 #5
penndragon69 Jan 2014 #6
RoccoR5955 Jan 2014 #9
Scurrilous Jan 2014 #7
Whoopdedoo Jan 2014 #8
underpants Jan 2014 #10
SheilaT Jan 2014 #11
SCVDem Jan 2014 #12
Skittles Jan 2014 #13
SCVDem Jan 2014 #14
Uncle Joe Jan 2014 #15
Nye Bevan Jan 2014 #16
malaise Jan 2014 #17
paleotn Jan 2014 #18
riderinthestorm Jan 2014 #19

Response to meegbear (Original post)

Tue Jan 7, 2014, 02:05 PM

1. K&R....

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Response to meegbear (Original post)

Tue Jan 7, 2014, 02:23 PM

2. Splendid!

Indeed a couple of rather stupid, very uninformed co-workers were laughing at the notion of "global warming" and how that one guy, what's his name...oh yeah!1! Al Gore, boy he must be embarrassed now!

Omg. I felt like I was in a psych hospital or something.

Julie

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Response to meegbear (Original post)

Tue Jan 7, 2014, 03:07 PM

3. A bunch of fuckwits are the deniers.

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Response to meegbear (Original post)

Tue Jan 7, 2014, 03:19 PM

4. The systematic, well-funded lies of Republicons about global climate chane

are among the most evil of their many evil deeds. They really need to check into the Bibles they claim to be so keen about, and see what their books says about DECEPTION.

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Response to meegbear (Original post)

Tue Jan 7, 2014, 03:28 PM

5. Good thing the Aussies just elected a climate-change denier as their new PM...

 

....thanks to Rupert Fucking Murdoch....

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Response to meegbear (Original post)

Tue Jan 7, 2014, 03:29 PM

6. But Rush Limbaugh says it's a HOAX...

 

and he IS the master of Hot Air and Bullshit !

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Response to penndragon69 (Reply #6)

Tue Jan 7, 2014, 04:20 PM

9. Rush Limbaugh IS a hoax! n/t

 

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Response to meegbear (Original post)

Tue Jan 7, 2014, 03:46 PM

7. K & R

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Response to meegbear (Original post)

Tue Jan 7, 2014, 03:47 PM

8. He isn't called the Rude Pundit for nothing ya know

The Rude is a daily read for me. He eveven makes it on the Stephanie Miller show once a week. Only the Rude can say it like it is. Brilliant.

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Response to meegbear (Original post)

Tue Jan 7, 2014, 04:23 PM

10. His rudeness is awesome

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Response to meegbear (Original post)

Tue Jan 7, 2014, 04:30 PM

11. It is unfortunate that the term "Global Warming"

 

was the one that stuck, rather than "Human Mediated Climate Change".

I do recall reading at least several years ago that perhaps the most important aspect of the climate change was going to be greater extremes: higher highs. lower lows, stronger storms, worse droughts, worse flooding, and so on.

I will tell you that the thing that keeps me awake at night is the possibility that any of the major ocean currents be disrupted.

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Response to meegbear (Original post)

Tue Jan 7, 2014, 04:35 PM

12. How do I get the image of

a kangaroos sweaty dong out of my head?

Calling Jon Stewart, calling Jon Stewart! Here is your 'fuck you Stuart Varney' bit for tonight!

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Response to SCVDem (Reply #12)

Tue Jan 7, 2014, 05:40 PM

13. you want I should kick your ass, SCVDem?

I'll make you forget about sweaty kangaroo dongs AND the last Packers game; yes INDEED

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Response to Skittles (Reply #13)

Tue Jan 7, 2014, 06:10 PM

14. Maybe the kangaroo dongs

The Packers game will take a lobotomy.

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Response to meegbear (Original post)

Tue Jan 7, 2014, 06:11 PM

15. Kicked and recommended.

Thanks for the thread, meegbear.

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Response to meegbear (Original post)

Tue Jan 7, 2014, 06:20 PM

16. If Australia did not lead the US in CO2 emissions per capita I would be more sympathetic.

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Response to meegbear (Original post)

Tue Jan 7, 2014, 06:22 PM

17. Love you Rudie - keep 'em coming - the truth will set them free one day

Happy New Year!!!

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Response to meegbear (Original post)

Tue Jan 7, 2014, 06:25 PM

18. Love the Rude....

...and as usual, spot on!

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Response to meegbear (Original post)

Tue Jan 7, 2014, 07:43 PM

19. K&R nt

 

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