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Tue Dec 31, 2013, 06:07 AM

Some personal backstory on Phil Robertson's phrase "They'll pick your ducks."

<snip>
His advice for a happy marriage is to make like R. Kelly and hang out in high-school parking lots. "You got to marry these girls when they are about 15 or 16. They'll pick your ducks." (No, "pick your ducks" is not sexual innuendo—Robertson is talking about cleaning the feathers off of dead birds, a miserable task often left to women to perform.) "You need to check with mom and dad about that of course," sage Robertson wisely advises, but he does not explain how to convince the parents of teenage girls to let them marry grown men who are tired of cleaning their own dead birds.
<snip>
http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2013/12/30/phil_robertson_on_marriage_duck_dynasty_star_advised_men_to_find_15_year.html#

Before Robertson issued these disgusting immoral words, I knew what 'picking ducks' meant. My Mama had told me a story that illustrated what a nasty task this was.

Chickens, ducks, and other birds have to be picked of their feathers before they are eaten. This is not an easy task. I have picked chickens and that's enough for me. The big feathers you see are the easy part. The real work begins when you remove the pin feathers. They are the tiny new feathers just breaking through the skin. You can torch them with a brûlée torch, use hot wax, or just pull them out with pliers one by one.

Ducks are especially hard to pluck because of the number of pin feathers. Once the larger feathers are removed, the duck is basically covered with down. Those are the pin feathers you have to get rid of. They are endless. The story my Mama told me involved a lot of these elements.

The first thing you need to realize when reading this is that my Grandmama didn't cuss. She wasn't a goody-two-shoes, but cussing was just not in her repertoire. I never heard her cuss and none of the relatives I grew up with had either. That made it all the more remarkable when she did.

One summer, my Mama, her sister, and my Grandmama were on the back stoop of the house picking chickens. Of course they gossiped the entire time and it was not such an unpleasant task. They had finished picking the chickens, and were beginning to clean up the area.

My uncle appeared at this moment and dumped 6 ducks he had killed on the back stoop. The three women just looked at a pile of hours that had just been added to their day.

This is when my Grandmama uttered her immortal words. She looked at that pile of ducks for a looooong time. Then she said "I'll be shot with shit and killed for stinking." The other women were now in complete shock after hearing her speak.

So 'picking ducks' was a bad enough task that my Grandmama cussed about it. That's what Robertson meant. Marry the girls young before they realize what a nasty task it is. They'll be more pliable about doing it and a lot of other things. My Mama my Aunt, and my Grandmama didn't marry early. They knew what picking ducks meant and the men they married had to pull their own weight and reciprocate in some way or they were next in line to be picked.

Learn what 'ducks you might have to pick' before you marry anybody!

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Reply Some personal backstory on Phil Robertson's phrase "They'll pick your ducks." (Original post)
Are_grits_groceries Dec 2013 OP
NYC_SKP Dec 2013 #1
Arkansas Granny Dec 2013 #2
Skidmore Dec 2013 #8
glowing Dec 2013 #9
Feral Child Dec 2013 #12
YarnAddict Dec 2013 #4
theHandpuppet Dec 2013 #5
jtuck004 Dec 2013 #10
Laelth Dec 2013 #3
riqster Dec 2013 #6
Are_grits_groceries Dec 2013 #14
riqster Dec 2013 #15
Are_grits_groceries Dec 2013 #16
riqster Dec 2013 #17
Buns_of_Fire Dec 2013 #7
PCIntern Dec 2013 #11
knitter4democracy Dec 2013 #13
Zorra Dec 2013 #18

Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Tue Dec 31, 2013, 06:15 AM

1. Yet A&E and Robertsons win this battle and set back equal rights for women gays and black americans.

 

Sometimes I just hate my culture and this country.

I've never cleaned a duck, I have cleaned chickens. We used fire to singe away pin feathers.

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Response to NYC_SKP (Reply #1)

Tue Dec 31, 2013, 06:36 AM

2. It was never about rights. It was about money.

The whole affair has been choreographed by A& E to maximize their profits. They got a lot of publicity at no charge. People are being played.

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Response to Arkansas Granny (Reply #2)

Tue Dec 31, 2013, 09:00 AM

8. They deserve to lose advertisers just as

Limbaugh has.

“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any.” - Alice Walker

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Response to Arkansas Granny (Reply #2)

Tue Dec 31, 2013, 09:01 AM

9. It was a PR stunt... If A & E were really put off and wanted to make a statement about

 

Phil's interview, they wouldn't have been playing non-stop back to back re-runs of DD over the last couple of weeks. The "suspension" would have actually effected new taping in the spring and and editing of already filmed shows that are about to hit in January. And it's not as if they went in and pulled all the "Phil" merchandise. The Walmart kiosk was still full of their crap.

And like many have said, it's not exactly like anyone who has ever seen the show or knows a bit about the DD background, would have thought that Phil was a tolerant, old fun-living guy. I think most would judge the book by the cover they choose to wear. The show is smart enough to just make up slapstick, dumb ass, redneck humor. I find the "skits" with the Uncle the funniest. If it weren't of Uncle Si, the show wouldn't be on anymore. The Phil and Miss Kay scenes are normally boring. The wives are full on stepford, and they are there for the money.

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Response to Arkansas Granny (Reply #2)

Tue Dec 31, 2013, 09:59 AM

12. "Classic Coke"

It's a Bait-&-Switch marketing ploy.

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Response to NYC_SKP (Reply #1)

Tue Dec 31, 2013, 07:02 AM

4. Well--

 

--I can't see how one group of ignorant rednecks can set back equal rights for anyone. They don't have that kind of power.

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Response to YarnAddict (Reply #4)

Tue Dec 31, 2013, 07:19 AM

5. This is how.

They back their brand of conservative political candidates and make PR spots for them. They travel around the country as guest speakers at conservative churches. squawking about the evils of abortion rights. They have a reality show drawing millions of viewers and draw even more attention to themselves by giving interviews validating every misogynist and homophobe around. You don't think these fake, multi-millionaire yahoos can steer political will? It's dangerous to think otherwise.

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Response to YarnAddict (Reply #4)

Tue Dec 31, 2013, 09:21 AM

10. In addition to other statements, kids are raised on this crap. They look at what the adults around

 


them do and emulate them, all the while saying how lame the adults behavior is.

When the society around us pays these human brillo wastes to speak, and laughs about what they do, and sells their shirts with their images in the store where they get more shelf space than decent food or bibles (not my choice of reading material, but it is held up as a standard to beat by many) the kids will learn what we, the adults, think is important, and what we value.

They will learn to treat young women as less than they are worth, and young women will internalize that value. They will make jokes and laugh about the black folk, as if they aren't humans, and the same with people whose sexual orientation is different. Maybe even about you.

That is how we begin the process of teaching hatred, which is a learned value, not something we are born with.

That is their contribution to our society. Teachers and role models. And wooden penny whistles that make ugly sounds. I don't think they have produced any doctors that might save your kid when he or she gets sick, or scientists that might find a new energy source to replace the ones that we use now, the ones that are choking our planet, and us, to death. But they will teach your family to be disrespectful to others, while ending every show by praying to a god who, if it is the one described in that bible they supposedly think so much of, would probably be wondering why in the hell people call it "intelligent design" when this is the product.

These bermuda-short wearing rich golfers (you have seen their "before" pictures, yes?) who have donned beards and a fake persona to fool you and the other people who they see as yokels into thinking this is how they really are aren't just the inert ingredients one might think.












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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Tue Dec 31, 2013, 06:53 AM

3. Informative post. Thanks. k&r n/t

-Laelth

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Tue Dec 31, 2013, 07:30 AM

6. Too bad he didn't try that with my grandma.

It would only have been done once.

Good story-I know from chickens, but not ducks.

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Response to riqster (Reply #6)

Tue Dec 31, 2013, 12:41 PM

14. The 3 women I talked about didn't take shit.

If my uncle was supposed to pick those ducks himself or he had dropped them along with a smirk, those same ducks would have gone back out the way the came at light speed.

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Reply #14)

Tue Dec 31, 2013, 12:55 PM

15. My Grandma would have thought dropping them in that manner was shit.

All according to who we are, and where we draw the lines. In her case, she didn't even let people THINK about giving her shit- anything remotely resembling shit got shot down at a hundred paces.

I still miss her.

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Response to riqster (Reply #15)

Tue Dec 31, 2013, 01:02 PM

16. The people in that story obviously knew each others boundaries.

The lines they lived with were drawn long before those ducks were dropped. If he wasn't pulling his weight or this dissed them in some way, they would have reacted differently. Just because that was their reaction, that doesn't mean they were put upon or under anybody's thumb.
I have no idea why this is an issue. Good for your Grandma for being her own person. I assure you that the 3 women in my story were just as strong-minded.

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Reply #16)

Tue Dec 31, 2013, 01:07 PM

17. No criticism implied, and I don't think it's an issue at all.

I was just visualizing her in that situation, and it brought a smile to my face. Thanks.

And again, no offense meant in any way. Sounds like you had an awesome family.

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Tue Dec 31, 2013, 08:58 AM

7. Durn. And here I was hoping it WAS sexual innuendo and I was going to learn something new. nt

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Tue Dec 31, 2013, 09:28 AM

11. thank you for the post...

I actually learned something today. I'm sincerely appreciative, and Happy New Year to you!

PC

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Tue Dec 31, 2013, 12:12 PM

13. He also told his wife that, for a favor, he deserved rough sex as a reward.

My kids started watching the show at their dad's and had me watch an episode to see why it's so funny or whatever. It was awful. I forget the favor, something to do with a grill that any normal person would have just taken care of as no big deal, but I remember being shocked when he told his wife that he should get banana pudding as a reward--and rough sex, too. The look on her face was one of exasperation and disgust, but then she said yes. That's when I went off and told the kids we weren't watching that show again. Before that, it was just stupid, but when he said that and humiliated his wife on tv, that was it.

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Tue Dec 31, 2013, 01:37 PM

18. If ya marry 'em at 12 or 13, ya might even get 'em afore they mama teaches 'em how to wax 'em down.

That way they don't complain if ya don't buy no duck pickin' wax, savin' ya money.

So get 'em young, and raise em' up right, in the righteous ways of all wimmens who's in the lord, and they won't give ya no trouble, iffen's ya don't spare the rod. Jes make sure ya don't let 'em have no books, ceptin' the Bible of course. But it's best if ya gets one what cain't read, and jes preaches the verses what tells 'em their rightful place in creation.

Genesis 3:16
To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.”

Paul of Tarsus:
"... he (man) is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man. For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man"

Paul of Tarsus:
Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands

Paul of Tarsus:
A woman must quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet.

Cyndy of Ozone Park, Queens:
"I wanna be the one to walk in the sun ~ girls just wanna have fun"

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