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Thu Aug 15, 2013, 10:54 AM

 

Insecure, Frustrated Bully With Something To Prove Considering Career In Law Enforcement

RALEIGH, NC—Calling it his lifelong dream, local man Brendan Lockhart, an insecure and perpetually frustrated bully who believes he has something to prove to the world, told reporters Thursday that he is seriously considering a career in law enforcement.

Lockhart, a recent high-school graduate who sources confirmed is plagued by resentment, self-doubt, unexpected fits of rage, and has always had a penchant for tormenting those who are smaller and weaker than him, explained that he feels he is well suited to serve as a police officer.

“I’ve always wanted to be a cop,” said Lockhart, whose paranoia and inferiority complex constantly haunt him, leading him to lash out at others in order to convince them he is in control. “I know it’s a tough line of work, but I think I’ve got what it takes to earn my shield and get out there and keep the peace.”

Friends and family confirmed that Lockhart, an unpredictable, petty individual who frequently loses his temper when he feels he is being threatened or disrespected, has in recent months been inquiring into joining the ranks of the Raleigh Police Department. In this role, the man with a massive chip on his shoulder and no visible sense of empathy would be tasked with peacefully resolving disputes and evenhandedly administering justice to members of the community over whom he would have official power.

More: http://www.theonion.com/articles/insecure-frustrated-bully-with-something-to-prove,33427/

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Reply Insecure, Frustrated Bully With Something To Prove Considering Career In Law Enforcement (Original post)
East Coast Pirate Aug 2013 OP
Loudly Aug 2013 #1

Response to East Coast Pirate (Original post)

Thu Aug 15, 2013, 10:57 AM

1. The Paradox of the Policeman.

 

Someone who feels a calling for that kind of work is probably not the right person to do it.

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