Mon Jul 29, 2013, 07:08 PM
iandhr (6,852 posts)
Rick Santorum Files for Divorce, Blames the Gays
Former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum filed for divorce today.
According to papers signed by an Allegheny County judge, the former Republican presidential candidate cited irreconcilable differences with his wife of 23 years.The move comes as a shock to the family and friends of the couple, who have seven children together and always projected an air of marital bliss. But in an interview outside the courthouse with local television station WPAV, Santorum said that he had no choice."Unfortunately the homosexuals have ruined my marriage," he explained to reporter Bruce Nolan. "Every year more and more of them get married, and every year the relationship with my wife gets worse. "Ever since the Supreme Court struck down DOMA, we've been sleeping in separate rooms. It's like I don't even know who she is anymore. This is what the gays want: to destroy the institution of marriage. We won't be the last." Square Peg, Round Hole According to the filing, the pair have agreed to split all assets equally and share joint custody of their children. His wife will keep the family home and automobiles, while Santorum will keep most of the couple's wardrobe. Several seasoned divorce attorneys say that such an amicable financial settlement is unusual. But in an exclusive interview Santorum explains money was never really the issue. "The real problem was in the bedroom," he says. "My wife kept complaining that I talked too much about gay sex while we were making love."I was just trying to explain how all the anal and oral things they do are filthy and disgusting compared to our intercourse. But apparently my wife didn't appreciate hearing about bears and twinks while I was inside of her." Santorum says he's ready to move on and has already started leasing a bachelor pad in the Logan Circle neighborhood of Washington, D.C. "Single life is going to be hard," he laments. "There aren't a lot of women interested in an aging father of seven. I might have to get creative about who I date." Santorum served as Pennsylvania's senator from 1995 to 2007. He unsuccessfully pursued the Republican nomination for president in 2012, placing second behind Mitt Romney. http://dailycurrant.com/2013/07/29/rick-santorum-files-for-divorce-blames-the-gays/
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35 replies, 23580 views
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Author | Time | Post |
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iandhr | Jul 2013 | OP |
BainsBane | Jul 2013 | #1 | |
MrScorpio | Jul 2013 | #4 | |
The Velveteen Ocelot | Jul 2013 | #22 | |
oberliner | Jul 2013 | #5 | |
Matariki | Jul 2013 | #2 | |
oberliner | Jul 2013 | #9 | |
Matariki | Jul 2013 | #10 | |
oberliner | Jul 2013 | #14 | |
William769 | Jul 2013 | #13 | |
oberliner | Jul 2013 | #15 | |
William769 | Jul 2013 | #18 | |
Scootaloo | Jul 2013 | #26 | |
shraby | Jul 2013 | #3 | |
oberliner | Jul 2013 | #7 | |
billh58 | Jul 2013 | #8 | |
The Velveteen Ocelot | Jul 2013 | #21 | |
billh58 | Jul 2013 | #25 | |
Logical | Jul 2013 | #6 | |
DJ13 | Jul 2013 | #11 | |
diabeticman | Jul 2013 | #12 | |
Thinkingabout | Jul 2013 | #16 | |
Agschmid | Jul 2013 | #17 | |
BlueJazz | Jul 2013 | #19 | |
The Velveteen Ocelot | Jul 2013 | #20 | |
longship | Jul 2013 | #23 | |
The Velveteen Ocelot | Jul 2013 | #24 | |
muriel_volestrangler | Jul 2013 | #29 | |
HughBeaumont | Jul 2013 | #27 | |
Nye Bevan | Jul 2013 | #28 | |
davidpdx | Jul 2013 | #30 | |
sakabatou | Jul 2013 | #31 | |
OldRedneck | Jul 2013 | #32 | |
NuclearDem | Jul 2013 | #33 | |
blogslut | Jul 2013 | #34 | |
HappyMe | Jul 2013 | #35 |
Response to iandhr (Original post)
Mon Jul 29, 2013, 07:10 PM
BainsBane (52,361 posts)
1. Is this for real or satire?
Response to BainsBane (Reply #1)
Mon Jul 29, 2013, 07:11 PM
MrScorpio (73,501 posts)
4. Satire
The Daily Currant is just like The Onion
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Response to MrScorpio (Reply #4)
Mon Jul 29, 2013, 07:33 PM
The Velveteen Ocelot (105,704 posts)
22. Not really. The Onion is clever
while The Daily Currant is usually just stupid and lame. Both are satire sites, though, and I wish to hell DUers would stop posting satire as news.
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Response to BainsBane (Reply #1)
Mon Jul 29, 2013, 07:11 PM
oberliner (58,724 posts)
5. Are you seriously asking that question?
Did you read the entire piece?
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Response to iandhr (Original post)
Mon Jul 29, 2013, 07:11 PM
Matariki (18,775 posts)
2. Is this satire?
I can't tell anymore.
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Response to Matariki (Reply #2)
Mon Jul 29, 2013, 07:13 PM
oberliner (58,724 posts)
9. You can't tell if this is satire?
Did you not read it?
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Response to oberliner (Reply #9)
Mon Jul 29, 2013, 07:17 PM
Matariki (18,775 posts)
10. I read the headline and the first couple sentences
I wanted to know if it was satire before wasting my time. Apparently I'm not alone with that question. I've never heard of the Daily Currant AND Santorum is enough of a wanker to actually get divorced and blame 'the gays', so how would I know?
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Response to Matariki (Reply #10)
Mon Jul 29, 2013, 07:18 PM
oberliner (58,724 posts)
14. Understood
Read further down and I think it will become clear.
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Response to oberliner (Reply #9)
Mon Jul 29, 2013, 07:18 PM
William769 (52,908 posts)
13. In all honesty, when it come to Rick Santorum & the Gays, you never can tell.
He is one bat shit crazy person.
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Response to William769 (Reply #13)
Mon Jul 29, 2013, 07:19 PM
oberliner (58,724 posts)
15. Yes you can
You think this would be a real quote from him:
"My wife kept complaining that I talked too much about gay sex while we were making love. I was just trying to explain how all the anal and oral things they do are filthy and disgusting compared to our intercourse. But apparently my wife didn't appreciate hearing about bears and twinks while I was inside of her." |
Response to oberliner (Reply #15)
Mon Jul 29, 2013, 07:23 PM
William769 (52,908 posts)
18. Yes.
he lives in a bubble, I wouldn't anything past him.
And just a FYI, I knew it was satire, but that doesn't mean I don't he he is not actually capable of saying it. Being Gay myself, I am very familiar with his work. ![]() |
Response to oberliner (Reply #9)
Mon Jul 29, 2013, 09:20 PM
Scootaloo (25,699 posts)
26. Poe's Law, Oberliner. n/t
Response to iandhr (Original post)
Mon Jul 29, 2013, 07:11 PM
shraby (21,946 posts)
3. This sounds like an onion piece.
Response to shraby (Reply #3)
Mon Jul 29, 2013, 07:12 PM
oberliner (58,724 posts)
7. Gee I wonder why...
Response to shraby (Reply #3)
Mon Jul 29, 2013, 07:13 PM
billh58 (6,591 posts)
8. The Daily Currant
is a satire site like The Onion...
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Response to billh58 (Reply #8)
Mon Jul 29, 2013, 07:31 PM
The Velveteen Ocelot (105,704 posts)
21. But not nearly as clever.
Response to The Velveteen Ocelot (Reply #21)
Mon Jul 29, 2013, 08:53 PM
billh58 (6,591 posts)
25. I agree. n/t
Response to iandhr (Original post)
Mon Jul 29, 2013, 07:12 PM
Logical (22,457 posts)
6. not real n-t
Response to iandhr (Original post)
Mon Jul 29, 2013, 07:17 PM
DJ13 (23,671 posts)
11. Santorum will keep most of the couple's wardrobe.
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Response to iandhr (Original post)
Mon Jul 29, 2013, 07:18 PM
diabeticman (3,121 posts)
12. Is this has to be a spoof. I can't believe he actually is filing for divorce on these grounds.
Response to iandhr (Original post)
Mon Jul 29, 2013, 07:20 PM
Thinkingabout (30,058 posts)
16. The truth of the matter is he only wanted sex to procreate and she wanted more.
Response to iandhr (Original post)
Agschmid This message was self-deleted by its author.
Response to iandhr (Original post)
Mon Jul 29, 2013, 07:27 PM
BlueJazz (25,348 posts)
19. After the first paragraph, I was thinking WTF ! Then the second paragraph and I knew.
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Response to iandhr (Original post)
Mon Jul 29, 2013, 07:30 PM
The Velveteen Ocelot (105,704 posts)
20. Not again! Please, folks, stop posting Daily Currant's crap as news items.
It's satire, and generally not very good satire at that.
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Response to The Velveteen Ocelot (Reply #20)
Mon Jul 29, 2013, 07:37 PM
longship (40,416 posts)
23. Please give Daily Current their due.
No, they don't have The Onion's edge, nor Borowitz's sublime irony. But they still at least make a good attempt to skewer the asshattery, albeit sometimes missing the mark.
Satire is always welcome on DU, as far as I am concerned. |
Response to longship (Reply #23)
Mon Jul 29, 2013, 07:44 PM
The Velveteen Ocelot (105,704 posts)
24. I'm all in favor of good satire.
But TDC's is usually lame and ham-handed. AND, there is an unfortunate tendency to post their articles under the assumption that they are real news, and the ensuing posts froth with outrage until somebody points out that it's, um, satire.
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Response to The Velveteen Ocelot (Reply #24)
Tue Jul 30, 2013, 06:00 AM
muriel_volestrangler (99,041 posts)
29. Except that no-one is 'frothing with outrage' in this thread
The most annoyed are those, like you, who think that there's a subjective threshold of comedy which satire must meet before it's posted here. Some have asked if it's satire; I don't think anyone has taken it seriously without wondering about satire.
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Response to iandhr (Original post)
Mon Jul 29, 2013, 09:37 PM
HughBeaumont (24,461 posts)
27. Logan Circle.
Yeah, Santorum's views would go over REAL well there.
I remember being on the Metro once and seeing these two college-age girls carrying a "Students for Santorum" sign. I was half tempted to say "Visiting, are we?" |
Response to iandhr (Original post)
Mon Jul 29, 2013, 09:51 PM
Nye Bevan (25,406 posts)
28. Totally, totally lame. "The Onion" makes good satire seem so easy (nt)
Response to iandhr (Original post)
Tue Jul 30, 2013, 06:03 AM
davidpdx (22,000 posts)
30. Crap, I almost believed this
Never heard of the site. It is very funny.
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Response to iandhr (Original post)
Tue Jul 30, 2013, 06:05 AM
sakabatou (39,988 posts)
31. I wouldn't put it past him if it really happened
Response to iandhr (Original post)
Wed Jul 31, 2013, 10:08 AM
OldRedneck (1,397 posts)
32. NOT TRUE. SATIRE.
Not true. http://www.politisite.com/2013/07/29/rick-santorum-files-for-divorce-blames-scotus-striking-down-doma/#.Ufkn5tItrTM Former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum filed for divorce today. According to papers signed by an Allegheny County judge, the former Republican presidential candidate cited irreconcilable differences with his wife of 23 years. santorum-wifeThe move comes as a shock to the family and friends of the couple, who have seven children together and always projected an air of marital bliss. But in an interview outside the courthouse with local television station WPAV, Santorum said that he had no choice. “Unfortunately the homosexuals have ruined my marriage,” he explained to reporter Bruce Nolan. “Every year more and more of them get married, and every year the relationship with my wife gets worse. “Ever since the Supreme Court struck down DOMA, we’ve been sleeping in separate rooms. It’s like I don’t even know who she is anymore. This is what the gays want: to destroy the institution of marriage. We won’t be the last.” via Rick Santorum Files for Divorce, Blames the Gays The left has gone wild about the Santorum Divorce story, only one problem, the story is NOT True. Anyone can conclude (with a little investigation) that the Daily Currant who ran the story is quite similar to the Onion, pure Political Satire. Sorry folks, while the anti-Santorum rants are comical; the joke appears to be on you. |
Response to iandhr (Original post)
Wed Jul 31, 2013, 10:10 AM
NuclearDem (16,184 posts)
33. Daily Currant isn't the best out there, but when they get it, they get it
Response to iandhr (Original post)
Wed Jul 31, 2013, 10:10 AM
blogslut (37,017 posts)
34. Man, does the Daily Currant suck ever so very much.
Response to iandhr (Original post)
Wed Jul 31, 2013, 10:12 AM
HappyMe (20,277 posts)
35. LOL!
![]() Funny, but I would bet that Santorum really would use this excuse. |