Biden Has Guy Named Worm Sit In For Him At Cabinet Meeting

[Adenoid_Hynkel]

WASHINGTON—Claiming that he had “a major shitstorm” he had to deal with, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly had a guy named Worm sit in for him at a cabinet meeting Thursday, assuring senior officials in the administration that his buddy was “a top-notch dude.”

“Worm is cool, he can handle it, no problemo,” said Biden, who informed cabinet members that Worm would “get the lay of the land real damn quick.” “Listen, I would stay for this little powwow, but I’m neck-deep in some stuff that I just gotta take care of in a big way.”

“Worm says he’s clean now, because of some stupid probation thing,” continued the vice president, announcing that Worm received “Diamond Joe’s” seal of approval. “Don’t worry, I warned him not to bring that smelly-ass dog of his, and I never really talk at these things anyway. I’ll definitely try to catch the next one.”

White House sources confirmed that Worm, who has no last name, arrived on time for the 9 a.m. cabinet meeting, quickly took his assigned seat, and then proceeded to noisily eat chicken wings from a Styrofoam container, licking sauce from his fingers, cracking open the bones to suck out the marrow, and mentioning on several occasions to Secretary of Veteran Affairs Eric Shinseki that “these little fuckers are extra spicy today.” Cabinet members told reporters that Worm, a part-time worker at an auto-body shop and a part-time roadie for the metal band Kreator’s U.S. tour, questioned the high-ranking government officials about “how long these things take” and promised that he’d “just sit here and not bug nobody” until the smoke break.

more:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/biden-has-guy-named-worm-sit-in-for-him-at-cabinet,33250/

[longship]

1. Yup. Biden's the guy.

Classic Onion.

[sharp_stick]

2. I love the way the Onion

portrays Biden.

[Wounded Bear]

3. Good stuff, as always...