Romney's Prank: Pink Fingernail Polish & Patent Leather Shoes.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

Tweety just played part of a speech by Romney today.

Romney said a friend of his in the old days got married.
It was a big fancy wedding. The bridesmaids were all given
bottles of bright pink fingernail polish so their fingernails
looked the same. The groom and the guys all had patent
leather shoes.

Romney got a bottle of the pink fingernail polish and got
the groom's patent leather shoes and wrote something
on the bottom of them.

The wedding took place, the priest or whoever called
for a moment of prayer, the groom and bride got on their
knees, exposing the bottom of the groom's patent leather
shoes.

The crowd began to shake & rock, suppressing its laughter.
On the bottom of the groom's shoes, in pink fingernail
polish, Romney had written, H-E-L-P. The crowd broke into
cheers.

The punchline: "I haven't seen a crowd rock like this since then.
And so I want to thank you for this wonderful welcome."

...........
There are so many things wrong with this "story" that it is
impossible to begin. I need a minute.

[Suich]

1. That was painful to watch. n/t

[A-Schwarzenegger]

2. So I didn't dream it?

[HockeyMom]

3. No, NEVER wear patent leather shoes!!!!!!

The NUNS said in the 50s that good girls shouldn't wear those because boys could see the reflection of your "lady parts" in those shoes.

This about on par with aspirin between your knees. Ah, the 50s was a wonderful time!!!! Let's go back to it.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

8. He's like a drunken comic at a Friars club.

[rug]

4. He makes Dobie Gillis look like a hippie.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

9. He makes Maynard G. Krebs sound Presidential.

[rug]

10. Well, neither one of them likes work.

[BumRushDaShow]

5. He really is a Cone Head

[font size="1"](thanks to Velveteen Ocelot)[/font]

[A-Schwarzenegger]

12. "Oh, I've got a cone in my head.

That's not all that's in my head, I'll tell you that.
I glue it on every morning, whether I need to or not."

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

6. Romney sounds and looks like a game show host

He's got the same stiff, phony style of mindless patter that is intended to kill time after introducing the guest participants and before they cut to commercials. Romney is a more stilted, boring version of the very boring Wink Martindale.

[BumRushDaShow]

11. Wink Martindale

OMG now that's a name I haven't heard in a long time!

[MADem]

7. Give that man a shovel, and he'll dig all the way to (dare I say) CHINA!

(Where he may well try to outsource a few more American jobs...)

This story illustrates brilliantly the (lack of) regard he has for women, his (lack of) enthusiasm for the institution of marriage, and reinforces his perception that wedded bliss is some sort of "trap" for the male of the species. His attempt to be awkwardly jocular is painful to observe.

That story about poor Seamus on the roof? That wasn't an expose by an inquiring, incisive reporter--the family willingly told the story, found it hilarious, and enjoyed recounting the tale of the terrified dog shitting down the back window of the station wagon.

He's not human. He's not normal. He lacks basic empathy. He apparently has passed that fetid quality on to his offspring.

Every time he opens his mouth, he shouts his lack of compassion, albeit inadvertently, from the rooftops.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

13. Here's the whole story...

"You had some very beautiful young women here that I used to come try and date. I have to tell you a true story and I probably ought to just apologize for it right now. I don't think I've ever told this story in public.

“And it happened not far - you know where Elyria, Ohio is? Well, there was a young lady there who I once spent some time with, and she decided to marry a fellow. And my wife - my girlfriend then - was invited to be one of the bridesmaids.

“So I came to the wedding and it was a perfect wedding. They had little bottles of shocking pink nail polish so that everybody, all the brides had the same nail polish. And I came, and thought the wedding was a little too perfect.

“So I happened to go in the room where the groomsmen and the groom were. And I found the groom's shoes, the patent leather shoes that he had rented, and I took some of that shocking pink nail polish and I wrote something on the bottom of his shoes.

“And we went to the wedding and the minister gave a beautiful service and then he said let us pray and the couple knelt down. Now I hadn't calculated that everyone in the audience would put their head down in prayer so they couldn't see what I had written on his shoes.

“But slowly but surely people ahead of us began to shake a little bit and point up at the shoes and in bright pink letters it said H-E-L-P on the bottom of his shoes.

"I haven't seen a crowd rock like this in Ohio since then and I want to thank you for that wonderful welcome."