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Zorro

(16,375 posts) Tue Nov 5, 2024, 01:13 PM Nov 5

21

U.S. Releases Strategic Alcohol Reserve Before Election Night

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Responding to “a situation of utmost urgency,” President Biden released the nation’s Strategic Alcohol Reserve just hours before Election Night.

Immediately following the announcement, the price of vodka dipped below three dollars a gallon and Biden’s approval rating surged to 94 percent.

But even as Americans cheered, experts warned that excessive liquor consumption could cause severe mental impairment akin to that exhibited by undecided voters.

Statistics show that the nation’s alcohol supply has been under acute pressure since November of 2016.

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/us-releases-strategic-alcohol-reserve

2 replies

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U.S. Releases Strategic Alcohol Reserve Before Election Night (Original Post) Zorro Nov 5 OP

Heh! Ty electric_blue68 Nov 5 #1

i think they may need to do additional releases over the next few days da svenster Nov 5 #2

electric_blue68

(18,445 posts)

1. Heh! Ty

Reply to Zorro (Original post)

Tue Nov 5, 2024, 01:21 PM

Nov 5

....🍷🍸🍹🍺 👍

da svenster

(70 posts)

2. i think they may need to do additional releases over the next few days

Reply to Zorro (Original post)

Tue Nov 5, 2024, 01:25 PM

Nov 5

this latest release may carry us through the night but they may need to tap it a few more times for what i hope is a blue celebration.

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