I waited and I waited for help but all the rich people just stared at me and kept eating.

[DonRedwood]

Last edited Sat Dec 8, 2012, 08:44 PM - Edit history (2)

There is a class war going on in this country and it has been for a long, long time.

The idle rich no longer act as if they are part of the regular population. They look down upon the worker from such a high perch, that they cannot even bring themselves to help a more lowly person in a time of need. You see that coldness that Mitt Romney practically exuded. Starving to death? Borrow from your parents-but don't ask me for help.

I've seen it plenty in my life but there is one time that keeps popping up in my mind. I keep remembering it as I try to understand the wealthy.

I was fresh out of college and had moved down to LA. I took a job waiting tables at a country club in the Valley. Encino, was like, so bitchin! It was a fancy place up on a hill, looking out over millions of sparkling lights at night. Sweeping green lawns of the golf course and lots of sparkly blue pool water. The people at this Country Club were rich and elite. Stars and some big money backers of the entertainment industry. You never knew who you would be serving drinks to at one of their functions. I remember one weekend were I served Cybil Shepperd lunch, Barbara Billingsly (Beaver Cleaver's mom) a drink and Richie Cunningham's father a dinner. It was pretty crazy!

We were required to wear a wool tuxedo, patent leather soles (that became amazingly slippery after walking through the kitchen a few times) and be clean and tidy at all times. You had to wear that tuxedo even if you had pool duty. 100 degrees out and there you'd be standing in the sun, wool tuxedo, holding a tray, waiting for someone to flick their well-manicured hand at their fourth empty wine glass.

We were required to memorize the names of every member at every table we were serving. We would be told "Mr and Mrs Ringsley will be having steaks this evening with their guests, Mr and Mrs Waldport". We had to greet them all by name when we met them to seat them, "Good Evening Mr and Mrs Ringsley, Good Evening Mr and Mrs Waldport. This way please" Very often the host would have already have spoken to them about their orders so
we would bring them their food without even speaking to them very much. Of course some tables were fun and regulars. They were kind and friendly but for the most part there was a coldness towards the staff. Sadly, the management had a similar coldness--the management was always schmoozing the guests--butt kissing, keeping the rich people happy, emulating them as much as possible. The members looked down on them though and they knew it so they'd take it out on the waitstaff. It was a weird place to be sometimes.

The members would hold all of their parties at the club so in many cases you would serve them dinner on Monday, A small lunch party on Wednesday, tea after golf on Thursday, serve them dinner on Friday night when they are out with their friends, basically babysit their kids at the pool all day Saturday and then on Sunday you are head waiter at their oldest daughter's wedding in the grand party room.

And there was no cash involved. They just signed and a bill was sent at the end of the month. A tip was built in. Not a great tip. It was basically a Red Lobster tip, and the hostess/managers all got a portion of it, so it was an OK tip for Red Lobster it was NOT an OK tip for the head waiter for the guy who has been running your entire wedding from hanging out at the pool all day, to lunch to bridal party to vows in room A to a cocktail party in room B while we tore apart room A (in our tuxedos) and set up dining tables for 400, and then shuttled them back into room A for dinner "Mrs Rinsgley, your table for dinner is ready. Would you care to come with me?" And then they'd eat in A while you tore down the cocktail party and put up the dancefloor (still in your tuxedo) and set up the party where the guests would be dancing until 3 in the morning. "We want to dance another half an hour, put it on my bill". Our tip for all of that would be 12% of the food served--hourly minimum wage for all the moving of tables and chairs and dance floors, and all at a runners pace. It was a very hard job. I never once remember getting a cash tip from a member. Not on Christmas or Easter or Mother's day or at their daughter's wedding. Never a cash tip. Maybe to the management but this wasn't a case of trickle down tip economics. It didn't trickle, whatever it was. These people never thought to give the guy who'd taken care of them all year, a tip on Christmas day, as you serve dinner to 20 of their family members.

And there were a lot of drycleaning costs involved in this job. I was an athlete back then, built with arms and legs of steel. 19" arms (the tuxedos had to be tailored because of my stupid arms and chest) and I can tell you that this job was a workout. Dancefloors!! OMG... those mothers are monsters!! It took all your strength to move those huge slabs of metal and wood.

So, my point is, you really got to know the members. You served them on Christmas and Easter and Sunday and Mother's Day... you watched their kids at the pool, you knew everybody's name, they had requested you repeatedly for all of their lunches and functions and meals. So you knew them and you would think they would aid you in a time of need.

But that isn't the case.

It was a Friday night and I was weaving through the packed dining room with four steak dinners and a whole mess of lobsters on a tray up above my head and I realize that my patent leather shoe with the slippery soles had become entangled on a purse strap. Mrs. Ringsley had put her purse on the floor and wrapped the shoulder strap around the chair leg (probably so no thieving waiters could steal it) and now this strap is wrapped around my foot and, OH CRAP, my slippery soled other shoe is starting to slide, and so it happens. I'm a dude, with junk, and 230 lbs of muscleand bones and I slam down into the floor, in Chinese splits, in a tuxedo, in front of 120+ people, with a tray of steaks and lobsters balance up above my head. And the pain is excruciating

And I can't move. My leg is tied up behind me. The diners are all around me so I can't roll out of it. All I can do is sit there, on my recently smashed junk, trembling and gasping with my eyes closed while I tried to (OH MY GOD THIS HURTS) breath. I'm sunburned from pool duty but I can feel my face turn even redder--I wouldn't be surprised if I was purple by that point. My eyes water. I may have squeaked or yelped.

And every eye in room is on me. Just staring. And the lady in front of me picks up her for and takes a bite and starts to slowly chew.

Not a single person moved to help me. Mrs Ringley, with her gin and tonic is perched on the chair that is pinning down my leg, and she just drinks her drink and looks at me over her shoulder. She certainly could hear the dishes clinking above me as my arm trembled and my guts were churning. (I mentioned the smashed junk, didn't I?)

I don't know how long. It felt like an hour. The woman directly in front of me took two slow bites of dinner and chewed them politely while I teetered there. Two tables over was the cardiac dr who I served breakfast every Sunday for the past year. He just sat there and looked me in a sort of disinterested way.

This dinner tray must not fall. It would come out of my paycheck and, believe me, this dinner cost more than I was going to make for maybe the whole weekend. I the lobsters must not fall!

I took in a deep breath with my mouth in a tight puckered "o". It made a whistle sound you could hear in the completely quiet dining room. And I willed myself not to move. I sat there and sat there and nobody came to help. Not one of them. I didn't call out for help. It didn't occur to me to call out because, well, um, wasn't it kind of obvious that I needed help? And then it seemed we waited another hour, and finally the door to the kitchen swung open and out came a co-waiter (My Hero!!) who saw my predicament and, quietly and quickly weaved his way through the tables over to me (PLEASE, Dear God, Hurry!!) and took the tray out of my shaking hand.

"Table fourteen, medium steak is position A," I gasped weakly as I rolled over onto my side. Lightning shot through my hamstring and groin. My front leg was screaming in agony. My junk was screaming in agony, I wanted to scream in agony.

But I sucked it up, I comically slipped on the rug a few times, my feet scissoring around like I was on ice, and was able to stand up and weave my way out of the dining room, still all eyes on me as I made it to the door to the kitchen. Someone clapped a few little soft claps, and there was a murmur and some chuckling. I had to take a few minutes flopped across a lounge chair out by the pool in the dark. I was limping when I came back to the dining room. And my junk was aching like someone had dropped 150 lbs on it. As I served my tables some of the members made cute little comments to me. Teased me. Laughed like we were all part of this funny joke.

But it disturbed me. I made light of it and smiled and was oh so pleasant and nice. But I was really bothered. It was really hurtful in many ways that these people just sat there when someone had been so kind to them for so long, needed their help. I did not understand it then, wasn't old enough to have had the experience to understand all the layers of human behavior that were exhibited that day. But it was clear to me that these people all shared a general feeling towards the classes below them. Disdain. Disinterest. Dismissal.

Not long after that I saw a bumpersticker that said "Eat the Rich". It suddenly sunk in that I saw the "Rich" as something bad I didn't like. I left the job soon after. I was tired of sweating to death wrapped in wool and patent leather. I was tired of the managers skimming off the tips. I was tired of those same managers saying on a Wednesday. "I saw these new shoes at the store. I want everyone to be wearing them by Friday." And so you'd be wearing new patent leather shoes that were tearing your feet apart and were more slippery than ever, for 14 hours on Saturday. I'd been able to take all that but the straw that broke this camels back were the members. They varied from cold to friendly but most just ignored us. But none of them, even the nice Dr, came to my help when I needed it.

Not a one of them.

And I decided I did not care to be around people like that.

And therein lies the class war. The upper class is, for a large part, kind of disgusting and unlikeable and they don't have our backs and so we don't like them. And they are always trying to take our stuff. If they want us to like them, they should try being nice and sharing. If you have a billion dollars, lower your prices or raise your wages. Jeez, c'mon, give back a little.

This has been my little opus on class warfare. I hope you have a lovely day and thank you for reading.

If you have some charity in your heart, please have a visit to Wishadoo. It is DU approved and, in my opinion. one of the sweetest little corners of the interwebs. :0) http://www.wishadoo.org/wishlist/139/help-for-new-engine-for-disabled-van/

[Ilsa]

1. Omigod. What a horrible work

experience. As a nurse, I can identify with having to wait on demanding, uber-wealthy patients. But never was I so completely ignored.

Your message is clear: the very-rich are not like us. And their disdain for others beneath them is apparent. I am just so sorry that you had to endure this physical pain and emotional hardship in discovering this brutal truth.

[Sadiedog]

23. Except, I don`t know about you but I do not feel that I am beneath anyone!

Just because of my socio-economic status. I find it troubling that anyone feels that way.

[Ilsa]

86. Oh, sorry about the confusion.

I'm in total agreement with you. I thought that was a typical sentiment on DU. (maybe it isn't?)

On edit: I will add that I tend to agree with Thom Hartmann, too, on the subject of The Very Rich: most of them aren't like us. They don't look at the world and people like we do. Part of it is believing that they really deserve special privileges that the rest of us "beneath" them don't deserve, even though we don't see ourselves as beneath them.

[Sadiedog]

94. Thanks for clarifying.

I am a little sensitive about the issue I suppose since I`ve been on the recieving end of people that believe they are oh so much better than me. It never bothered me much until I had children and they felt the brunt of this type of stupid!

[blackspade]

135. The fucked up thing is...

That rich folks seem genuinely baffled when we don't see ourselves as beneath them.
It is quite the disconnect.

[DonRedwood]

31. I think it is all pretty funny now. I was hoping people would see the humor in it all!

I'm still quite proud I didn't drop so much as a fork. :0)

I did pour an entire tray of wine down someone's back once though... :0(

[PatSeg]

65. I've waited tables

I have a hard time seeing the humor in how customers tend to treat wait staff. They often look right through you as if you aren't there or they look at you with disdain and condescension. I've taken some bad falls, burned myself, and worked sicker than a dog, but all most people cared about was another cup of coffee or a dessert.

I am so nice to anyone who waits on me in a restaurant. I know they are treated poorly by customrs on one end and management on the other.

Thanks for the great story!

[Ilsa]

88. True, and time helps to heal

old wounds.
Yes, it's amazing that you managed to keep your tray together!
Maybe they thought you were part of a Cirque de Soliel show with dinner!!!

[Earth_First]

2. I dated a daughter of wealthy socialites in high school

It was a strange gig. At the time, sure we 'loved' one another, however looking back now it was just a case of rebellious action on her part; there was no honest respect on her part towards my social upbringing.

I was called upon to take part in the very same dinners and events that you speak of in your OP, it was particularly awkward, as the attitudes and condescending manner in which the staff was treated bothered me greatly; outwardly so and I took it on the chin a few times becoming the center of the joke. One time I walked out on dinner, refusing to reenter and left my significant other to fend for a ride home herself. That was the beginning of the end.

The yacht club, the country club, the estate weddings and vineyard auctions, I saw it all. Thankfully the brief look into this 'lifestyle' was more than I needed for a lifetime of knowing I wanted nothing to do with any of it.

I sympathize with you, just know that I am sure there were some who were simply visiting that lifestyle at the time; not everyone gazed upon you with judgmental eyes and empathized with you.

Thanks for the OP, it's been years since I thought about all that.

[DonRedwood]

54. I keep finding my opinion of the wealthy keeps returning to that day

the genisis for my dislike, I guess.

[JaneyVee]

3. I'm surprised the wealthy even wipe their own arse's, they're useless.

[monmouth3]

4. The thing is....they don't care. You can like them or not, it's immaterial to them, you are there

for a purpose, to make them feel better, to serve them.

[Egalitarian Thug]

5. A million years ago when I was in college (the first time) I worked in these places as well.

I know just what you went through. Things may have changed in the years I assume fell between your time and mine, but I found that geography seemed to make a great deal of difference in the member's attitude. The Wilshire in LA members were actually pretty nice to the help, but Fairbanks members were complete assholes. Atlanta National Golf - decent and very generous, Club in New Jersey that I left so quickly i can't even remember the name - delighted in making life miserable.

Side note. Was Cybill Shepherd a member or a guest? I've met her a few times and she was always really warm to me. Of course I wasn't help by then, so who knows?

[DonRedwood]

12. She was very nice

She was just visiting but was a member of a sister club, so she got member priveleges. I think--this was the waaay back in the 80s.

Actually, out of all the stars I served there, she was probably the very nicest one. Tom Bosley was nice too.

[Egalitarian Thug]

121. Yes, and those eyes...

I've never been a big fan, but after meeting her in person I was lost.

I'm glad to hear that she was pleasant to you as well.

[narnian60]

6. Dang!! Still can't get over the wool jackets & leather soles-insane!

That's why people love the President & Michelle so much. They are so mindful of everyone around them.

[cliffordu]

7. I worked for a winter at the Caneel Bay Plantation inthe US V.I.

I know EXACTLY what you are saying.......

[surrealAmerican]

8. Thank you for sharing that story.

It sums up one thing pretty well:
From your perspective, you were being very nice and helpful to these people, far more so than your salary could pay for.
From their perspective, you were a robot, who did what they paid you (or paid your bosses for you) to do.

It was your job to look after them, but they felt no obligation to reciprocate.

[freedom fighter jh]

24. Probably they thought he was paid well . . .

. . . since they must have paid pretty well to belong to the club.

[BanzaiBonnie]

72. Sad to say, some people just don't care

I believe they're numb to caring. But they will find themselves in the same place as everyone else, soon enough.

The worst job I ever had was cleaning in a casino. I took the job because a friend told me it was 21.00 and hour. Except after I accepted the job, I was paid $7 something an hour. The $21.00 an hour what the owner of the cleaning service would have paid my friend, his nephew.

So, I had a time limit on exactly how long I had to clean the building. It was between closing and opening, about four hours. I busted my butt. The clean up made me afraid I might catch a disease, even though I wore latex gloves. The last straw was when the waitresses were not happy that the VERY terrible carpet that was sticky and held onto lint was not getting clean enough. I explained that the back pack vacuum I was using was not powerful enough to pull up the lint. I explained that the carpet was also part of the problem. They said, get it done. I told them that for $700 an hour, I was not going to kill myself.

They stood there in shock. They thought I was making WAY more. The cleaning service owner was charging the casino at least $43.00 an hour. Hmmm. The staff understood why I wasn't willing to give it more effort. I left that job soon after.

[gkhouston]

9. The problem with most of the rich isn't that they're rich; it's that they're oblivious.

The underclass (which to them is 98-99% of the population) aren't "people" for most of the rich; they're useful appliances. As a whole, the rich neither understand the underclass nor is interested in trying to understand the underclass. "Little people" can be disregarded. The problem with that attitude is that it will eventually lead to a situation where the "little people" have so little that they have nothing to lose by kicking over the traces and rebelling against the system.

You want to live a cushy existence as a rich person? First, be lucky enough to be rich, and second, be smart enough to realize that "the underclass" is far more likely to be content with what they have if they actually possess something: decent housing, schooling, incomes, healthcare, and pensions. From the noises being made in Congress, there seems to be a short supply of the smart rich, and that could lead to some very ugly "readjustments" down the road.

[Texin]

64. OBLIVIOUS, my ass.

These people sat there and did nothing while a man was prostrate in pain on the floor with a loaded tray of diners' dinners held above his head and they did. absolutely. fucking. nothing. Nothing. They were not oblivious to the situation. They weren't blind. They weren't deaf. And absolutely fucking were not paralyzed. Except by their own callous disregard and disrespect of this person's absolute need for assistance. Unforgivable. Shameless and reprehensible behavior all around. No excuse.

[gkhouston]

69. They were oblivious to his status as a *person*, as someone warranting attention and assistance.

Did they physically see it? Sure. Did they see it as a matter concerning them? Obviously not.

[DonRedwood]

83. And Texin rides in to my defense! Welcome to DU Texin!

I have a pretty good sense of humor about it, I used to be pretty flexible (but not THAT flexible) so the damage wasn't too long lasting. But, yeah, it was all very surreal and probably one of those cases where time seems to stand still (in times of panic we tend to shut down almost 90% of our cognitive functioning!) but it did seem like a long time.

I mean...would they have just watched me choke or keel over with a heart attack? I almost sort of felt like they might of.

[GatorLarry]

90. It's much more fundamental . . .

They ALL looked on him as a "commoner." Someone of lower class that did not warrant their concern. He could have been dying on the floor from a heart attack and the rich cardiologist would have sat eating and ordered someone else to call 911.

[hunter]

99. Some were fearful they would lower their own status if they helped a lowly server.

I've met a few very wealthy people who leave 100% tips, people who clean their own toilets, drive ordinary cars, change their own tires, stay in ordinary hotels, invite clerks and housekeeping staff to lunch ask them how things are going, expect and accept honest answers and pick up the check, people who pay every last person who works for them excellent salaries and wages and treat everyone with respect. But those are a rare sort.

There are too many people who are wealthy because they are fearful assholes without empathy, people who only care about appearances and what they can take. They can't feel like winners unless they are surrounded by others they see as losers. If they are in a place like a fancy restaurant or country club where they mean to be seen then they can be especially nasty.

Some of them, maybe all of them, were waiting, watching, to see what kind of loser would help the loser on the floor, and the rest were afraid of being labeled losers.

[smirkymonkey]

120. I agree with you. I don't see how you could NOT react with shock and concern for a fellow person's

well being and still call yourself human. It would have been an automatic reaction for me. I would have jumped up to help and wouldn't have given it a second thought.

[OneGrassRoot]

10. Talk about entitlement class. Many wealthy EXPECT free stuff...

and they get it all the time!!!

One of the many things that drives me crazy is how wealthy celebrities often get dinner "on the house," designers give them free clothes, they get those darn free swag bags are just obscene (http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/02/26/whats-in-the-2012-oscars-swag-bags/), with free vacations and other freebies.

Of all the people in the world who don't NEED anything for free, they are the ones who receive the most free stuff.

I just can't wrap my brain around it. It's appalling.

I'm sorry you had that experience but, on the other hand, it no doubt led to a much more aware, conscientious life.

[lunatica]

11. I was a waitress in a good Fish Restaurant in the Bay Area

The customers were the regular mix of people you get in good restaurants. They did the same thing your uber-rich customers did. It's not just the rich who think you're nothing if you're in a job serving them. Believe me. Most people are pretty indifferent to anyone serving them.

Imagine how bad it is for those who work in fast food restaurants!

I have a story where I noticed one of my customers had lifted her face to stare at the ceiling for an inordinately long time. I went over to see if she was OK while the people she was with just sat there looking from her to each other and did absolutely nothing. She didn't look good so I asked the busboy to get one of the owners to bbring an oxygen tank and be ready to call 911. Another waitress and I turned the woman's chair so she could lean down and put her head down between her knees. The entire time I communicated with her making sure she was aware of me and answering my questions so I was squatting down so I could hear her and watch her face. I felt someone jab me on the shoulder and when I turned it was a customer at the next table who said with a touch of impatience that he wanted his coffee now.

We ended up calling 911 who came immediately. There was a Fire Station only a block away who always responded very quickly.

That was one of those eye openers like yours. People really don't care much for others. And even less for those who they see as servants.

Edited to add that I told the coffee customer that I would get his coffee as soon as I took care of the lady who was in distress.

[DonRedwood]

16. Holy Cow! That is bad. My situation was at least somewhat funny

I do see humor in what happened to me (and I was quite boastful later on that I did NOT drop that tray!). But your story is terrible!

[freshwest]

100. I remember waiting table at a classic downtown bar to help make ends meet in college. It was kind of

weird, because I wasn't old enough to drink, but old enough to serve beer and liquor. I remember going days with no real food, but anyway. Tips were non-existent, even though the establishment was by no means a dive. It was located in the theater district in downtown. A lot of professionals came there after work and some tourists. But back to the customers.

I'd be balancing trays of drinks, mugs, etc. and the customers saw me rushing from table to table and guys thought it'd be funny to put a leg out and trip me, but I was really agile then. I didn't lose the trays, but they just thought that was hilarious.

Another job I had was at an all-day restaurant near the city's sports stadium. I remember being on duty for over 24 hours straight. My back and feet were killing me, and I didn't even get a bathroom break. My shift was over and I sat down, feeling sick. The guys started yelling at me to get my ass up and wait on them.

I said that I was off duty, but that didn't mean a thing. To them I was in the permanent servant class and they were entitled. After a while you forget the leers, grabs, kicks, propositions and obscenities and all the other so-called 'compliments' you get from people.

I remember at the bar, too, that one group was in there was ordering drinks, and they were my age, so they were underage. So I had to tell them that I could serve them soda, but not alcohol. When they asked how I knew, I told them their names because they went to the same high school that I had.

They didn't like that and asked why was I there, to which I told them I was working nights to pay my way through college and showed them my ID. That shut them up. Just think, Don, you have done well, too.

But what happened to you, indicates that not only did those people not respect you, I don't think they cared about being human themselves. It was surreal, they acted as they were at a play and you were just the floor show act like it couldn't have hurt.

I can't stand to see anyone down on the ground, I'd've been all over the tray, helping you up. But then I've been in situations when my pain or difficulty was a source of pleasure for other. You feel like road pizza and realize you ain't nothing to some people.

I live in an area where people do not act that way toward others. Sorry you went through that, and that your care for them wasn't not returned as they should have. I'm glad you're far away from that now.

[sheshe2]

132. Did we all start by waiting tables?

My first was at fourteen in a summer resort area. HoJo's if you can remember back that far...my dad had gone to school with the owner. So that's how I got it. The franchise owner was Basil,and I gotta say great guy to work for. The staff all young 14-25ish were great. We had some fun back then. The older ones took me under their wing.

The tourists, well they were not so great! Nasty, demanding and pretty lousy tippers! The worst tip I ever got was from a party of four. I will not tell you what country they were from, though they were know to tip badly. So on a very busy saturday after running my ass off i returned to pick up my tip. They left me 4 pennies! If I could have I would have returned it to them. What a slap in the face.

Nothing like Don went through. Still they insult us all by their acts. Sorry you were treated that way too. The lack of respect they extend to those that work is simply inhuman.

I still "wait" on people in my current job...some are great and treat you like a friend...others like you were dirt. Not sure what is worse. The disrespect you get from your client or the disrespect that you get from your employer. Either way I feel used.

[DonRedwood]

156. Oh my gosh!

Your job sounds sooooo much worse than mine!

I'll bet you're just as nice to waiters now as I am. :0)

[freshwest]

157. I have a much worse story but I won't tell it. And I am very nice to waiters, cooks, etc.

I always clean up after myself as much as I can, don't make a mess, don't make a fuss. I'm not sure why some people expect to get their egos stroked when they enter an retail business. I figure if a person needs to feel more powerful or needs to abuse someone, they are the ones with the problem, not the one they're abusing.

Other than some flaws in character that such people represent, it has to do with whether you believe all people should be treated as well as you'd like to be treated and put yourself in their place. Some people don't have an imagination.

I hope you don't continue to have any problems from that injury when it gets cold. And it's pretty cool up here now! Hope you guys have a fire or whatever to keep cozy. See you later.

[BlueJazz]

81. I wish I would have been there. I would have said loudly. >

"This gentleman would rather have his coffee now and see this woman die than wait a few minutes longer"
"Do you think I should help him get his coffee and put it someplace that will keep it nice and warm"

I'm serious...I've done shit like that to rude people.


edit: spelling

[femrap]

13. 'End World Hunger.

Eat The Rich.' I have that bumper sticker.

Thanks for sharing...great post. Ever read any of Joe Begeant (RIP)...he hated Rich people with a VENGEANCE. I recommend 'Deer Hunting w/ Jesus.'

Before he died, we exchanged emails. He was one cool dude.

As a youngster, my father was a golf pro at a country club...I learned very early in life that rich people are satanic.

[99Forever]

14. It's shame I can only rec this once.

Meshes with everything I have experienced exactly.

[DonRedwood]

53. Rec this instead then :0)

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10021947364

[99Forever]

59. Consider it done.

(the rec and the great idea.)

[DonRedwood]

84. merci!

[lonestarnot]

15. That's about the way I see them. Just as they are.

[redwitch]

17. A well told story Don.

I could see it all as I was reading. It is unbelievable that not a soul got up to help. But I believe you. I wish I didn't. When you have reached a place ( or been born into it) that fellow humans in trouble or need are of absolutely no concern to you then you are poor indeed, no matter how much wealth you have acquired. I am always nice to waiters and sales clerks as I see them as no different than myself. How odd that some people do not.

Thanks for the essay even though it made me sad.

[dkf]

18. That must be what every homeless person thinks of every one of us.

We are all guilty.

[DonRedwood]

20. ouch

and very true.

:0(

[Cleita]

77. I don't disagree. We who have a roof over our heads can

be very unsympathetic towards those who don't. I've seen it first hand.

[DonRedwood]

85. Your post inspired me to write this....

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10021947364

[Sekhmets Daughter]

19. The "entitled" class....

and the politicians that enable them honestly believe they can continue to abuse the 99% with impunity, forever. History teaches otherwise.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

21. Fucking A. Eat The Rich. The Health Care Industry is full of this type of stuff. Top Heavy with

Administration and Management. Late to work. Long Lunches. Leave Early. Bonuses. Better Insurance Policy.

Meanwhile: Direct Care Staff - Nursing, Housekeeping, Dietary are treated like scum on the bottom of their shoes.

[Squinch]

22. I have always known, since my days as a waitress in a very exclusive place, that you can tell

EVERYTHING about a person by the way they treat people who are paid to serve them.

In the place I worked, a very few were unfailingly polite and pleasant. Others assumed we were appliances there for their use. Still others used the servers to play out their own feelings of inferiority (by treating the servers as inferior.)

Since that experience, whenever I see someone being an asshole to a food server, I never have any doubts about the kind of person I'm dealing with. I often used that as a quick test when I was dating: if the guy treated the server badly, there wasn't going to be a second date.

[TomClash]

26. +1,000

Well put.

[DonRedwood]

36. I did the same thing when I was single! if the guy was a jerk to the waiter we were done

very easy test to see what a person is like!

[TomClash]

25. You were putting on a show for them

Like a monkey at the circus. "Let's see what he will do next!"

That was my first thought when I got to the part where you were injured.

Rich people without decency or manners or compassion.

I have a few stories like that myself, but not as painful or gruesome. I can't stand people who treat workers badly. They are a stain on the body politic. More than anything else, it is probably why I am a Democrat.

[Squinch]

43. Or he was a malfunctioning appliance that "someone" needed to take care of.

(See my be-ringed and perfectly manicured hand movement here, as I loosely waving off this inconvenience?)

[DonRedwood]

44. lol...my mother has accused me of having a "screw loose" before :0)

but in a loving way ('cause she has a screw loose too :0)

[Squinch]

47. Seriously. I worked in a place like that.

It was amazing how they simply didn't seem to realize that we were human. The entitlement (including the entitlement to paw at the young women - because we were all young men and women) was just incredible.

[Cleita]

27. Where were your supervisors? They should have been there immediately to take over.

Something similar happened to me when I was in college. I was working as a waitress after school and on weekends in the coffee shop of a Catholic hospital. The place was usually busy with doctors and nurses on their breaks as well as visitors. One day a delivery man had left a small waist high refrigerator door open behind the wait station. I had come from the kitchen with a tray full of food and the tray hid the open door from me. I fell over the door got severely stabbed in the stomach and I couldn't get up from the excruciating pain. The dishwasher, a strapping seminary student, came running when he heard the tray crashing and me screaming. He came and picked me up and carried me into the kitchen. One of the cooks ran to the chapel and pulled the nun in charge of the kitchen out of her prayers, who took charge then. I was taken to the ER.

The whole time in a room full of doctors and nurses, not a single one got up to help. Later on the other waitress on duty and the kitchen staff told me that they never stopped eating or drinking their coffee, nor did they ask if I was okay. When I was patched up and recuperated, I returned to work. No one I had ever waited on asked me how I was.

I hope you left that job for greener pastures. My supervisors did take care of me. Apparently yours didn't. You probably should have sued them under Workers Comp.

[coalition_unwilling]

73. I got a huge ration of shit here a few months ago when I said that American

doctors were a bunch of entitled prima donnas. But your post now ratifies me in my earlier assessment.

The Physician Defense League will be clamoring for your head soon, though, mark my words.

[Cleita]

76. I don't care. They can't change what happened to me. n/t

[knitter4democracy]

105. I was married to one and know many--some are like that, sure.

I know a few who are human and humane and good, but yes, there are many who just turn robotic in the job. I remember many times asking the ex to help someone in crisis only to be told it wasn't his problem.

[bedazzled]

154. my mom had her cataracts operated on recently, by a nice young doctor

he was attentive and kind and, sad to say, it was kind of surprising.

the nurse was cute. i mentioned that i thought he was a great doctor, and
she said, "he hasn't turned yet."

[nolabear]

28. It's not just the rich. Some rich are decent people and some of us poorer folk are real works.

That sounds horrible. It does sound as though they thought of you as a "function" and not a person. Happens a lot I'm afraid when people are in subordinate positions.

I was having breakfast at Brennan's in New Orleans with some fairly well-to-do relatives when I went to the restroom with one of the women, one who thinks of herself as very liberal, who's from the wildly liberal Northwest, and who isn't well-to-do. There was an older woman attending the restroom and I got into the common "How'd you do in the storm?" conversation with her as she handed me a towel and lotion, all those little niceties. We had a really nice conversation, I tipped her, and when we got outside my relative whispered, "They really know how to work you for a tip, don't they?" Didn't occur to her we were two folks who love New Orleans just communing. And it didn't occur to her what an art it is to be nice to people day in and day out who don't necessarily treat you like a human. Made me sad.

I do wish people saw one another as people. And DAMN that floor sounds awful, and your bosses fools to make you wear those leather soled shoes!

[Cleita]

32. Since I lived in a place where there is a glut of really rich people, I have spent a life time

being their underling, first in college with jobs in businesses that catered to them, then in the banks, restaurants and then my own bookkeeping business where I had to work with many of the super elite in the Los Angeles area. As a whole even the nice ones don't have a clue how the people who cater to their needs live or feel and mostly they don't care. If you are sick they are concerned if you can get the work done, not if you live or die. Christmas really tells the story. The super cheapest and frankly often insulting Christmas gifts I got from them were inversely proportional to their wealth. The wealthiest were the cheapest, while those toward the bottom of the wealth scale more generous and thoughtful.

[lunatica]

35. You should have told her the woman was working FOR tips

That was her job. To keep the bathroom spotless and the floors clean and to have towels and to be polite and attentive for fucking tips!! Did she want all that service for free?!

[nolabear]

50. As the poster above said, she had the luxury of not knowing.

I think we shouldn't have that luxury. I don't mind people being rich. But it does create separation that needs to be bridged.

[Lordquinton]

61. "Working you for a tip:

and "Being a decent human being" look shockingly similar.

[lalalu]

29. I wish you could have gone Samuel Jackson on them.

What the F--- you looking at? But I understand you needed the job.

[coalition_unwilling]

75. In picture form:

[mountain grammy]

30. Well written, well told, sad story about America today.

It's delusional to think all are created equal..

[DonRedwood]

42. Thanks Grammy!

I hope you found it a little funny...i do see some humor in it all!

[mountain grammy]

147. That you fell and didn't drop the tray is incredible

and I would have a good laugh with you after I jumped up to help, as a fellow human being!

[YBR31]

33. I don't think you can ever paint with such broad strokes

My parents were members of a club for many years and always treated everyone with dignity & respect. My dad,a doctor, died a little less than 2 years ago. Here's a story that perfectly encapsulates him. Last year after my dad died my mom was at a hospital in a city other than where my dad practiced medicine for many years. She got into a conversation with a man who was a respiratory technician and had moved there from the city where my dad practiced. It turns out he worked with my dad many years ago. Much to my mom's delight, he loved my dad. He said unlike many of the other doctors, my dad treated him as an equal member of the medical team, told him to call my dad by his first name where other doctors insisted on being referred to as Dr. So and So. Many of the people who worked in the club were patients of my dads and his memorial service was standing room only. Former employees of the club drove in from out of state to be there and share their stories.

[DonRedwood]

46. Welcome to DU! And, I agree...unless you have a lot to base your opinion with

And that's why I gave so much detail. It would not be fair to just say the rich are bad. But I painted a picture, detailed picture, of an account in my life. And on that account, and those details, I can make some statements pertaining to the people I am talking about.

Is every rich person this way? NO! Are the ones I am talking about in my account? Heck YES!

Cheers and, again, welcome to DU. :0)

[democrattotheend]

107. Agreed

My grandparents were never fabulously rich by any means, but because they were so frugal during their working lives they retired with a pretty comfortable nest egg. But my grandmother was the most genuinely caring person I knew. She was a bleeding heart liberal in the truest sense of the word - her compassion extended beyond her political activism to her interactions with everyone.

To be fair, they were not the country club rich people you describe here, but they were/are (my grandpa is still alive) pretty well off, at least in their later years, but are/were both wonderful people who cared about the common person.

Stories like this are sickening, but I don't think it's fair to paint an entire class of people as evil even though there are plenty of compassionate rich people. If there weren't, there would be a lot less funding for charities.

[RevStPatrick]

34. Several years ago, I did some computer work in the home office...

...of the wife of one of the richest men on the planet. Most of the people you served in that country club were pikers compared to these people. This family is in the top 250 wealthiest in the world. These were .0001 percenters. I was totally creeped out.

A Picasso or two in the main hallway.
There was also a Monet that I recognized.
I'm sure all the other artwork was equally as impressive.
(that's not creepy)

The staff were all dressed up in bow-ties and nice suits and dresses.
On a Tuesday afternoon.
The stuff in the woman's home office was worth more than everything I will ever own in my entire life.
When there was a problem because the $3,000 item she purchased would not fit in the allotted place on her desk, she said "just get rid of it and get something that fits."

My neighbor was familiar with these people when I mentioned them (I knew he was from the same country as the husband), and he said "stay away from those people. He's a killer." At some point the wife's assistant wanted to hire me to install some equipment in their house in another country, for a day rate which was as much as what I would make in a month. I didn't want to help them, and I used not having a passport as my out. "Oh, don't worry about that! We'll fly down on the private jet and the military will drive us to the house."

Ummm... no thanks!
Those people still freak me out, nearly 20 years later...

[brokechris]

37. weakly in their defense--sometimes in a socially awkward

situation, people are frozen. Especially if there are a lot of people around--they hope that someone else will help so they just sit there...

[DonRedwood]

89. Howdy Broke Chris! Welcome to DU!

It was a pretty comical situation. The big football player with the red hair and the sunburned, lobster red face, with a tray of lobsters, in a tux, just suddenly slides into splits holding a tray over my head. I used to be pretty flexible and could actually get about six inches off the floor in a stretch (I took ballet when I was a kid I was clumsy--my mom did ballet and thought it would do me some good). But BAM, that drop to the floor.

Quite a few people looked pretty shocked at the spectacle of it all.

[brokechris]

118. I can picture it! And I have to say that you are an excellent writer.

Looking forward to reading more from you.

[lageorgia]

38. Please, we are not all like that

I grew up as a member of 4 country clubs in a very very wealthy town( actually the same town Mitt Romney and his wife grew up in). Please understand that while this is rather common it is not an always given. We, my sisters and I, were always taught to be kind and treat everyone the way we expected to be treated. We were never allowed to order either the country club staff around nor our staff at home. We believed that we were no better than the people cleaning our toilets, just luckier. I give my parents great thanks in teaching us kindness and good manners and a positive attitude. Maybe, though, we were the way we were because my parents, albeit extremely wealthy are life long liberals and have never voted for a Republican.....ever.

[truedelphi]

52. However, meanwhile, although no Democrats ever

Vote for Republicans, isn't it a very curious thing that most Democratic leaders are now to the right of Dwight D Eisenhower?

Maybe it isn't about the party nomenclature - maybe it is what is happening under that nomenclature.

Right now the idea that the age at which us working slobs can achieve the rights to having Medicare is becoming the centerpiece of the "Grand Bargain." On edit: here's the link: http://news.firedoglake.com/2012/12/08/repsonding-to-jon-chait-on-the-suddenly-possible-idea-of-raising-the-medicare-eligibility-age/

I suppose it is good to know how very kind some of the people who are affluent happen to be.

However, those who are affluent will survive to that age, as they have health insurance (Which is a totally unaffordable product, under the Exchange here in California, if you are over 55 and not working at a corporation or already wealthy.)

Over the next few days, it is being decided, by the leaders chosen by the rich, how to help Kissinger achieve the meme of knocking out a whole lot of the population.

[Auntie Bush]

60. Welcome to DU lageorga. Glad to have such a nice person on board.

[renate]

66. welcome to DU!

You and your parents sound like great people! (Not only were your parents good parents to you, but you're a good child to them for being grateful for what they taught you.)

I also agree 100% that a person's wealth doesn't in and of itself make them a bad person any more than it makes them good. It's easier to get away with being a bad person if you're rich, that's all, and some people take advantage of that and others don't.

Welcome!

[hrmjustin]

78. Welcome to DU and I hope you enjoy the site.

[DonRedwood]

114. Welcome! Nice to see a new face from the south! (i'm assuming...what with the Georgia and all)

Of course, you could just be named Georgia, so welcome if that's the case too.

[TahitiNut]

39. You should feel grateful to enjoy a club and get paid as well, while they paid so much to attend.

THAT'S their attitude. They've done you a FAVOR by merely allowing you to be there. Your managers (kapos) are rewarded for having a "kiss up and kick down" attitude. After all, that even elevates the IMPORTANCE of a member who looks down on THEM. It's POWER. It's the same kind of POWER that builds concentration camps and hires proxies for their cruelty. NOBODY dare call it "wrong." Heaven forbid! They are the gods from whom all blessings flow.

The WORST were the family of the MEMBER (who 'worked' and paid the dues).

I was a caddy at Oakland Hills Country Club (site of PGA championships and Opens) and Birmingham Country Club as a teenager back in the 50s. That's where cronies of the Romneys hung out. It was only the members who worked the hardest in their lives to gain "success" who treated us humanely. They were a small minority.

These people are warts on the ass of humanity. I can easily understand the French Revolution. If it were up to me, we'd have guillotines ready-to-go.

[LiberalEsto]

40. Those rich diners sound like pathetic heartless zombies

I'm sorry you had to endure all that pain under those circumstances.

My brief brushes with country-club types were at my last job with a small PR company. I was hired to write semi-technical case studies for the natural gas industry. The PR company's major client was a nearby country club filled with some of the Washington DC area's spoiled elite. Not the topmost elite, but elite enough.

Once in a while I had to answer phones or call club members for stuff like their anniversary dates for the newsletter. My god, what assholes. The entitledness of them. They acted like excessively spoiled toddlers and of course treated us lowly pr people like we were the scum of the earth. I wondered sometimes who got stuck changing their diapers.

[dchill]

41. I would not be surprised if many DU members...

are former - or current - wait staff. Or vice versa. Politics IS class warfare.

[Sadiedog]

96. Well I know I used to waitress.

I usually managed 6 month stints of it before I was ready to throw food at some of the callous jerks I had the misfortune to serve!

[DonRedwood]

115. WElcome to DU!

[Sadiedog]

131. Thank you! It`s wonderful to be here! nt

[Vox Moi]

45. Slightly off point but relates to cluelessness of the well-to-do ...

... at a town beach in a quite upscale community some of the beach-goers had surrounded my father (a town commissioner) and were heatedly complaining that the sand on the beach was too old.
My father couldn't figure out what they were talking about, but yes, it was the sand itself. It was too old. They wanted new sand, fresh sand, unused sand that was clean and devoid of any shards of shell or wisps of seaweed.
My father listed for a while, nonplussed, and finally walked off. There nothing he could have said that would satisfied those people and still have made any sense at all.

[DonRedwood]

48. I would like to welcome you and your old sand to DU!

Great story!

[LiberalEsto]

71. Shoulda told them to pound sand. nt

[Arugula Latte]

49. As I was reading this I was picturing Ann Romney sneering down at you.

How dare you people slip and fall and create a ruckus?

This is a very well-written piece. Thank you.

[DonRedwood]

51. :0) That sums it up pretty perfectly!!

How dare I interrupt their chewing!!

[BlueJazz]

55. I see that the Rich and even some of the not-so-rich have not learned this simple rule.

NEVER, EVER mess with the people who serve you organic matter that is intended to be eaten.

...or you may be eating organic matter that is not to be eaten. (here...roachie..roachie)

[KansDem]

141. I worked for a couple of years as a bartender...

Although I had customers at the bar, most of the drinks I made were for dining customers. The wait staff would place their drinks orders with me then tend to the tables. Often I heard stories about rude and insensitive customers as they were picking up their drinks.

I'll never forget one server who summarized her feelings with this statement: "Never f*ck with the last person who handles your food!"



That comment has always stuck with me!

[gateley]

56. We belonged to a country club where my parents did a lot of stuff like you mention (the lunches,

dinners, etc.) As soon as I was old enough to "get it", I'd always slip our waitperson a cash tip (and they always took it! but I could see what happened to you happening there.

My parents, especially my dad, were different and didn't treat the "help" as servants. At both of their funerals, a few of the old standbys at the club attended and came by our house afterwards for the post funeral "party".

My parents had plenty of money, but they always treated everybody with respect -- I don't know why money makes so many people ugly.

Thanks for the story.

[gkhouston]

97. I think far too many people have a big streak of ugly in them.

Being rich merely allows them to indulge in their baser tendencies.

[DonRedwood]

108. It is parents like you that keep me from saying "All rich people". :0) They keep me from

an absolute and give us all hope there is good out there! :0)

[gateley]

136. My parents were some of the

most compassionate and caring people you could imagine. I was very lucky and continue to learn from them even after they've died.

And I think of people like the Kennedys, the head of Costco, Bill Gates's father -- people who care about others, and those people are drowning in money!

[spooky3]

57. Horrible, horrible situation. Thanks for sharing your story.

I understand that you now see the humor in it, but I just find their behavior disgusting.

Makes me want to believe in reincarnation and that they all come back as the people they refuse now to see.

[Turbineguy]

58. We've gone a long way down

since de Toqueville.

[Jennylynn]

62. So the parts about the 'Classes' in the movie Titanic....it was all true??

That's what this story reminded me of.
Great Story/stories.
I don't always read every, single, reply in DU. This one I did.
Wow.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

63. To them we are merely livestock - farm animals, like draft horses or dairy cows.

Years ago I worked as a clerical employee in the trust department of a large bank, and had to deal with some very, very wealthy people. Many were polite in a cold sort of way, but some were downright unpleasant - demanding and rude. It was pretty apparent that, to these clients, we humble bank employees (who were not especially well paid) were just "the help," like everybody else who wasn't them. They say shit, you have to ask what color.

[ejbr]

67. One question:

How's your junk now?

[DonRedwood]

116. LOL!! Fabulous!!

[ejbr]

150. Good!

[malaise]

68. Freaking wow!

I'd rather die than leave another human being on the ground in pain.
They are scumbags.

[Rhiannon12866]

70. K&R! Wow! Unbelievable...

I am so, so sorry! Thank you for sharing this with us...

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

74. Whoever made the infamous Romney "47%" recording

probably had a few experiences a lot like that - and finally had enough. Vive la Revolution.

[union_maid]

79. I don't disagree for the most part

There are exceptions, of course, to every rule. I do think that its being a club probably made it worse. The members seemed to think of the employees as their personal esnes from your description. My son waits on a very rich clientele, but it doesn't seem to be so bad. It's restaurant, though, not a club. They do tip very well, at least. I don't know if they'd pick him up if he fell, but some of them might, I suspect.

[PopeOxycontinI]

80. So...

Did your colleagues spit in the food? I'm totally ok with that these days.

[DonRedwood]

123. hey there, welcome to DU!

[Patiod]

82. Interesting stories - I worked at CCs too

through college, and I mostly enjoyed it. My dad wouldn't let me work at a bar because he said people would behave badly, but he said "if the people at the CC misbehave, they have to look at you the next day."

CC #1 - New Money - I could tell hours of stories about how awful the women were (most of whom never worked a day in their lives), but suffice it to say I actually heard them discussing the "head games" and tricks they played on the locker room attendant. These women would cross out my tip if they thought I wasn't running fast enough, and the front office would add it right back on. Nasty, small, rotten people. I finally went to the front desk and said "If those bitches snap their fingers at me one more time, I'm going to hurt someone. Give me the Men's Grille or I quit" and they did. I also told the front office what I heard them say about the locker room attendant in case they lied about her later and tried to get her fired.

Their husbands were fine. Many of them had been born into working class families, and knew how hard it is to earn a living, and they treated the staff decently. My last day to work one of the guys gave me a $20 (which is like $100 today) and said "I worked my way through Temple Dental School bartending, so I can relate. Here, buy yourself some beer when you get back to college." I used to work Thanksgiving at this place, and it was a lot more pleasant than slaving at home - the members behaved better to me than my own ungrateful relatives.

CC: #2 Old Money. Both the men and women were fine there. I told the bartender one day how awful the women at Club #1 had been, and he said "don't let these people fool you - they look down their nose at us Catholics" and I said "I don't care what they really think about me, so long as they are decent to my face. They can be as snobby as they want, but at least here no one has ever snapped their fingers at me". I actually really enjoyed working at this place. My parents knew some of the members, who sponsored them to hold their 40th Anniversary party there - it was weird to be there years later as a guest rather than a waitress.

My last brush with money was when I dated a boy from an Old Philadelphia family, which was actually kind of fun. I think he almost swallowed his head when we were at one of the clubs where he was a member and he asked me if I was enjoying myself and I said "it's a lot nicer being on this side of the tray".

I've worked both regular and country club serving jobs (as well as retail), and I didn't notice the rich being any more awful than the General Public as a whole (other than rich women not tipping, and construction workers over-tipping). But then again, I've never worked for the Super-Rich...

[2naSalit]

87. All I can say is

Wow. And I have been in similar situations. I have only had a few wait staff jobs and non were quite so stuffy, but I can see it from our skillful description.

I was once a chauffeur, limousines... And there were times when the clients' guests would have a bit too much champagne from the wet bar and that all had to be cleaned up at the end of the long night, bar glasses, restock the bar, steam clean the upholstery... because there could be an impromptu luncheon or surprise guest just dropping in the next day.

I did have one private client (actually it was two people who were partners), near the end of that stint in my career, who were awesome. They gave me all kinds of perks, made me go into hoity-toit restaurants and clubs, private parties and join them unless it was a strictly business event or the single one was on a date. They tipped me quite well on top of the hourly rate and I didn't mind when the "rented out" the car with me as the designated driver. Those guys were great. I recall one time they were enjoying a private party, Hallowe'en, and I had to be in some "interesting" costume as per request... I had so much fun that I didn't charge them for the night even though I really needed the cash. Most of their friends who "rented" were a lot fof fun too, some wanted to sit up front with me. That was a very rare job indeed, but it was well worth it while it lasted.

But some of the other clients I worked for were pretty rude and obviously played the "exceptionalism" role, would only speak to me on the phone, kept the divider up and couldn't be bothered with cash so the tips were less than fair. They were all about appearances and usually weren't as "well heeled" as they portrayed themselves to be.

I think it's the last bastion of the aristocracy that came to "the new world" hoping to rule it or re-invent their place in the social strata when they were several rungs below royalty (or whatever desired level of superiority they felt they were destined for) wherever they came from. And they still exist today, unfortunately. Democracy and equality never made sense to to them... thus, the Rmoneys.

[raccoon]

91. Long ago, I worked briefly at a country club bar. Once I put out my hand to take someone's money.

That person told my boss, and my boss let me know very quickly, you don't do that. Not with those people.

[rhett o rick]

92. Please read my signature line.

[Aristus]

93. I would never eat the rich.

They're so tasteless...

Still, roast 'em all over a slow fire anyway...

That was a story well-told. Thanks.

[easttexaslefty]

95. Man, I wish I could share

this with everybody I know.

[nadine_mn]

98. This is so sad because it is true

First, I am sorry you had that experience...as a female, I cannot imagine the pain you went through and as a world-class klutz, I have no idea how you managed not to drop a damn thing. Recently, I managed to break my hand on a stationary elliptical bike - even the the Drs in the ER were impressed with that feat.


Secondly, many comments have mentioned that the super rich don't "see" the underclass - they are just things, part of the scenery. This was so painfully obvious in the 47% video. Romney was talking about some of the VERY people who were there, serving them, parking their cars and filling their drinks. And he was clueless..so was everyone else. And then was stunned that the video was made and leaked out - as if surprised there were other people there, not just robots.

Finally, I don't think class warfare will ever end. I have a friend who is very well off and she seems so shocked by my posts on FB, and gets angry that not all rich people are like that. Well, she is the exception to the common experience and I don't know to explain it to her.

My husband was raised in a middle class environment where he never NEEDED anything - does that make sense - I think the wealthy never go without their wants, and much of what makes you middle class means not going without what you need - medical care, education, shelter, heat, food, and clothing.

I grew up dealing with some poverty - and I never take things like electricity, food, and shelter for granted. We had some rough adjustments our first years of marriage when our standard of living was less than what he was used to with his parents.

I think going through the rough poor times gives me an empathy that even some middle class much less the rich will never have and that is so sad.

[dangin]

101. I'm in the two percent...

My family belonged to a country club. In college I waited tables and bartended at an even ritzier country club. I'm a die hard liberal. I vote against my financial interests. Posts like this serve no purpose. Most of those people didn't move because none of us move in restaurants when awkward things happen. Even at McDonald's. if we attack the wealthy out of hand, we are no better than the reactionaries who respond to FAUX. Many wealthy people are liberal.

[heaven05]

104. really

your logic is skewed, badly. Go back to your 2percent crowd and crow about being a right wing troll. Damn the rich! God I wish there was a middle finger avatar here. You'd get it.

[99Forever]

106. Whatever you say.

Enjoy your stay.

[burnsei sensei]

109. But you can't deny that wealth, and the lifestyles that

accompany it, do skew an individual's perspective about himself, class and society.
You tell us that you have voted against your "financial interest."
I would probably conclude then, that you had other interests that were more important.
But you haven't written about any of these. You tell us that you are a "die-hard liberal," and that "many wealthy people are liberal."
What does being liberal mean to a wealthy person? Because the content of your experience is markedly different from the experiences of those of us who are much less affluent than you.
And finally, we, the middle-class and impoverished, are the majority.
The numbers of the impoverished are increasing.
Their suffering, good sir, is intense.
There is no getting around that.
You are part of a minority, the majority of whom have behaved irresponsibly, and continue to do so.
When will enlightened self-interest take the place of simple greed and indifference among the wealthy?
And what makes you & other wealthy liberals altruistic-- answering in terms of two things-- motives and actions?

[dangin]

110. Nope

We have three post graduate degrees between us. Two in arts one in medicine. C'mon guys, quit hating. Too smart to vote republican applies to to wealthy too. And seriously, we are the bottom of the two percent.

[dangin]

111. You're not wrong

I don't believe in altruism. But i am a lay scientist, and being an active part of our society as a whole benefits all of us. I live near Kansas City. When the mega tornado hit Joplin,my kids and I went out and bought 116 bucks worth of water, granola bars and soap, drove to the pick up site at chiefs stadium and stayed long as my 9-year-old son had fun loading things efficiently in the semi at the drop off location. I'm planning on taking sandwiches directly to the homeless under the bridges in kc this winter. We're educated and liberal and welcome higher taxes. Our kids are warm and full. We want everyone else's to be too.

[burnsei sensei]

112. Thank you for answering.

I consider altruism to be an adjective. Certain actions and motives may be characterized as altruistic, others not.
It's kind of a stand-in for "charitable."
I would characterize many of your actions, and your motive stated in the final sentence, as altruistic.

[dangin]

117. Still not

I agree with Robert Heinlein about altruism. But giving a hungry person a good sandwich feels good. My own self interest is at play. I can admit it.

[burnsei sensei]

149. So your stance would be the same as that articulated by

Herman Melville in "Bartelby, the Scrivener."

[lightcameron]

119. I'm in the top 2% as well and I disagree with you.

I come from a long line of middle-class working people. In fact, the first thirty-eight years of my life were exactly that. I've only been in the top 2% for about two years, and got there by living a lower-middle-class lifestyle for about a decade so I could save my money and pursue a lifelong dream of mine. I've been pursuing that dream since 2006 and it has paid off more than I could ever have imagined.

Here's where we disagree:

You say posts like the OP don't serve a purpose. They do. Probably not the one the writer intended, though.

[dangin]

122. I've been here less

I'm only here since earlier this year. My wife is a surgeon, that's how we barely broke in. We're millionaires, by which I mean we are literally a million in debt with four kids and Chevy's, one of which we bought used. And we are ok with higher taxes. We had McDonald's for dinner tonight.

[DonRedwood]

124. I've been on a no fast food diet for a year...I'd kill for that burger!

[dangin]

126. Wrong again

I had chicken. But I did eat too many fries. They were perfectly salted. Which is rare.

[HangOnKids]

137. The OP Got His Point Across Just Fine

As did you.

[heaven05]

102. wow!

how very, very real. Yep the class/caste system has has always been here and mostly, with all the democracy bullshit, hidden. I hope this gets out there, and goes viral. The reality of amerikkka and the monied class. Fucking snakes. I had some hard jobs as a kid, but you got my respect. I salute you and

[bettyellen]

103. my Dad worked for Park Avenue elites, and noted the snobbier cheaper ones were often miserable but

the ones that acknowledged the workers and appreciated them appeared to be enjoying their lives so much more.
I never forgot that, and have always been kind and appreciative of service industry people I'm in contact with. My boss noticed I knew them all by name, and I explained it was because my Dad worked elevators and doors. To her credit, she stopped acting like they weren't there anymore, and became more friendly. After that, most of our workgroup modeled her behavior. It was nice to see it spread. The micro culture overall is friendlier than other areas now.

[dangin]

113. You know, I suspect this now.

Having worked in this industry. Part of the job is standing at attention in the waiting room. No one would let him flounder so long. the dining room is never empty of staff with that many patrons. There are waiters, table girls, bar tenders, bus boys, waitresses, and yhe hostess.

Do you remember the first two years of MaSH. The TV show? Colonel Blake tells his wife not to tell anyone he is coming home, they'll just show up at the club and surprise everyone. Then he dies on the ride home. I worked at that real club. McClean Stevenson. Named for McLean county Illinois. Stevenson as in related to Adlai. He went to Illinois Wesleyan where he got caught mooning the KKG house in college. My college, my country club where I waited tables. The producers of MASH let him wear his Illini crap on the show. He was referencing my club in the episode he died in. Bloomington Illinois. We did not have station A. We had "dick in blue blazer", "cow in pearls", "mean guy in horrible plaid". Tables were different based on the dining room and size and shape. When you took an order you noted the person them self so you could deliver the right food even when you had six tables. I'm starting to doubt this whole story.

[DonRedwood]

125. nope, nope

In our dining room it was person with their back to the window was position A. Even during big banquets we followed that rule. (though it was a bit harder when we used the bigger round tables)

But feel free to doubt my story. Lol, I'm sorry my life doesn't meet your requirements of what a waiters job would be.

[dangin]

127. Our club was a center line main roof ridge.

There were two dining rooms on each side with a long private room, rarely used, in the center. Each room only had one long wall of windows. One had a short wall that overlooked the eighteenth green and outdoor dining room. There was a mix of four tops,two tops and rounds. All of which had to have the food order specific to the customer.

But your story rings false because no other staff helped you. How many patrons were in the room? We and waiters and waitresses. Bus boys, and table girls who kept the bread baskets and water topped off. If we had fewer than 30 diners there was almost never fewer than three staff in the room, and all would be thirty seconds away from a tragic service accident. We never got tips, NEVER. Service was what we did or we were gone. No one would have left you floundering. When I spilled a tray, the manager, trained in Europe, rushed to help pick up the plates, while making me feel like a douche at the same time.

[patrice]

133. Is this necessary? Such behavior looks pretty petty. What are you accomplishing by calling OP

a liar?

wow.

[blackspade]

138. Then you were lucky.

The hostess/host at the CCs and restaurants would have yucked it up with the patrons.
As far as the other wait staff, most would be is the weeds as much as I was and not likely to be in a position to help for a minute or so.
The OP did state that another server helped him out.

So what is your deal?

[Arugula Latte]

151. Wow.

Because his club wasn't run exactly the same as yours it's probably not a true story? Seriously?

I'm so sick of this ridiculous, petty b.s.

[LiberalAndProud]

128. "We did not have station A."

Therefor no one does?

You illustrate the OP's point too well.

[newspeak]

129. not all wealthy respond this way

however, there are those who are cravenly, ruthlessly bankrupt human beings. an elderly woman, a friend-fellow bridge player, told me a fascinating story about her life. she was a child during the depression and her father was a very wealthy businessman. she told me how she was dressed by servants, she didn't lift a finger. her father was friends with people like ford and other industrialists at the time. when her father's business went south, everyone of those friends just disappeared. some of the very wealthy are like hyenas, abandoning the weak or attacking the vulnerable. you could be best buds one day and the next, just because you're not in their sphere, be nothing. so, what's this about class war and class identification? they've been doing it for a long time.

people that were key figures on the wealthy obtaining their wealth, sometimes are thrown to the curb, like the colonel (have to look up his name). anyway he invented the oil drill, located oil for the oil boys; and when he became too disabled to do his job he asked for financial assistance. they turned their backs on him. of course when he died an embittered man making millions for these users, they collected money for a statue. yet, they couldn't help him when he was alive. also, goodyear died impoverished after being screwed by both american industrialists and french.

in some cases, these very wealthy individuals didn't invent shite, they stoled the inventions; they didn't single handedly build the railway across the country, labor did it in impossible conditions; they didn't brilliantly invest, they were part of the insider group or scammed some poor sob or created the situation, like the mortgage debacle and bet on our misery. not all, but there's enough immoral sociopaths out there, that it is noticed.

[blackspade]

134. My waiting experiences were much the same.

Although most of the folks I worked for (customers) may have been a bit more lowbrow.
They actually would slide you money on the side out of view of management.

But the monkey suits and shitty shoes really sucked.

You here a lot of people talk about how everyone should experience military service?
I think everyone should have to work in food service.
Maybe folks would be less crappy to each other if they had to share in that misery.

[ReRe]

139. These are the truly ENTITLED, the ELITE...

...at least in their minds. Everyone else knows it's just plain, blatant class warfare. Look who's looking down on who, now. Mr Richy Rich himself Romney was rejected and unchosen.

As excruciating as that experience was, it was a blessing in disguise. You learned more on that one day than you did in all those years of college or your previous years in life. Thank you for taking the time to share the story with us. I hope you recovered physically with speed, as well as you have recuperated psychologically.

"If someone looks down on you, don't look up to them."... found in my great grandfather's writings.

[marions ghost]

153. great motto

did your grandfather write it?

[ReRe]

155. Don't know...

...he was a farmer, father of 9 kids, and a poet. That adage was written on one page with a number of other sayings that he jotted down. I think it's a pretty good one, don't you think?

Thank you great-grandaddy!

[McCamy Taylor]

140. Can't stand country clubs and the people who frequent them.

[Steviehh]

142. rich folks and race

Many years ago I was sent to a job interview in college. A ritzy hotel in Montecito, Cal needed someone to do laundry duty. It was a bit far from campus, but the job had unusual benefits. Some workers got to board there as part of the term of employment. I wasn't too interested' but when one of the interviewers told me they wanted me because I was white, I was disgusted and turned the job down.

I am very happy, cause they called a couple of times. I didn't call anyone on it, just was glad to move away from that mentality.

[DirkGently]

143. Great piece. (nt)

[marions ghost]

144. Although some of the wealthy are not unkind to

servers and staff, you still have to look at their basic principles.

I had an uncle who was a doctor. Neither he nor his wife ever mistreated hospital or any other staff. They always tipped well. They considered themselves Christians. They were kind to anyone who helped them (but that's as far as it went). Sort of a patrician paternalism...the good servants were rewarded.

But. They always voted RepubliCon and they listened to Rush faithfully. They had no problem hobnobbing with the insufferable snobs you describe.

So I will always believe that unless the rich are actively voting AND working to address the glaring economic inequities in this country, they are no better than the clods you describe at the restaurant. After all they have the inside advantage.

Just because you are rich and tip well doesn't make you a nice guy. Gotta look at the whole picture.

[fasttense]

145. Rich people see everyone around them as their servants.

I'll never forget the time I was the escort officer for a group of foreign Admirals and Generals who were having a meeting at the UN and staying at the Waldorf in NY. I was a young female LT (I think all female LTs got to be escort officers back then) I was required to wear my dress blues. I must say I looked stunning in them back then, after coming back from a very busy deployment, I was in great shape and had a lot of ribbons.

Well, I was continually asked by the very rich patrons of the hotel to help with their luggage, get their elevators or hold their door open. They all assumed I was a member of the staff at the hotel. I even had one women say she didn't know they had female valets. After telling the 3rd person that I was an officer in the Navy and not a hotel staff member, I just got to the point where I would ignored them and walk away. Well obviously the idle rich do not like being ignored because before too long I had the hotel Consignor asking me to leave because I was confusing the patrons.

Really? Here I was just getting back from a 6 month deployment, leaving behind my family and friends, protecting them from the communist threat, and they were going to kick me out of the hotel because the patrons couldn't be bothered to ask if I was staff before ordering me to do something. I ignored the Consignor and walked away.

Luckily, I left about 10 minutes later. I wonder if the hotel would have called the cops to kick me out, if I had stayed any longer?

[JNelson6563]

146. This post

will stay with me for a very long time.

Thank you for posting this. I'm with you all the way.



Julie

[cpamomfromtexas]

148. You have a way with words, what an enlightening story. Thank you for telling it.

[mark67]

152. This lack of reaction is not just limited to rich people...

Thanks for sharing your story but this lack of reaction is not just limited to rich people; in many similar situations people don't just don't know how to react or freeze-I think you are reading too much into this...if they would have started laughing at you or throwing food at you-yeah, that a EAT THE RICH story.

Case in point, the Korean man who was killed by the subway train-according to reports he was struggling for almost a minute but no one on the platform tried to pull him up-any one or two able bodied men could have pulled him to safety in a matter of seconds (in the NY Post photo his arms, head, and shoulders are above the platform level.

[HiPointDem]

159. rescuing someone from an oncoming train requires actual danger and courage. there's a fear &

panic reaction.

rescuing a tray that's about to fall involves no danger or panic, nor does helping someone who's about to fall.

[mark67]

160. ...if you seen the picture rescuing that man would have required a MINIMUM of courage or skill...

and this is only one example of people failing to react in situations. This type of apathy is not just limited to the wealthy-that's my point. Just my opinion and 2 cents-would hate to see this site devolve into a FOX NEWS BUBBLE type situation.

[HiPointDem]

158. good story. i think most of us have had experiences like that, whether it was being snubbed

by the "cool crowd" (typically the upper-middle class kids whose parents owned businesses, had pools, etc) in HS to work experiences to others --

my elderly aunt would tell & retell the story of how they'd gone to buy a car in their farming clothes at the end of WW2 & the salesman had treated them like dirt (figuring, on the basis of their clothes, that they didn't have money for a decent car) & how satisfying it had been to plunk cash money down to pay for the car in full, the money painstakingly saved over some time.

we don't always clearly recognize them as "injuries of class," but they are, and they eat at you and infect you.

it's also interesting to me how touchy well-off people are about injuries to their own pride & dignity. you'd think wealth would allow them to sluff off such things, would breed some generosity of spirit, but they are (in my experience) if anything more touchy than poorer people and much more aggressive about 'righting' any slight to their persons.