Potential Rapists, the Male DUer Dilemma Unwrapped ...

[1StrongBlackMan]

After reading thread upon thread indicating that men (all men) are potential rapists, which are met with full-throated denials by males, I think I understand what is going on ... Doctor's now hidden, "Are all women potential liars" thread, sparked an epiphany for me.

Males would have no problem accepting that all women have the capacity to lie ... it is an observable fact of life. After all, what man has not been lied to by a woman? However, knowing this does not hinder a man's interactions with the majority of women (unless there a other things going on with that man); no, the man accepts this reality, believing that most women they interact with won't lie to them (on significant matters).

Likewise ... when viewed from a female's perspective, YES ... all males are potential rapists. That doesn't mean she believes that all, or most, or even, any of the males she encounters will rape her; but never-the-less, that potential exists.

What we are seeing for the most part is a perspective and lack of empathy problem in the objecting, offended males.

[Romulox]

1. Except one side of that argument was hidden, the other repeated ad infinitum.

So the symmetry of the situation you mention in the second and third paragraphs is not what we have here.

[FightForMichigan]

2. Wha?

Did I miss something? Was there really a thread that suggested that all women are potential liars that occurred during a conversation about rape? For real? Well, that's certainly a fresh and exciting new thing to say during a conversation about rape.

[TrogL]

10. At least one. I've got the poster ignored so I can't read it

Guess I'm going to find out what the ignore limit is.

[CBGLuthier]

3. This Hyperbolic World

is oh so tiresome.

Both statements are outrageous. Both statements are true.

Now me, I know the fact that there is no way for me to tell if any human being of any sex or alignment is a potential murderer who will kill me if I give them the chance. This too is true but it sure as fuck is no way to live a life. Always at the extremes.

[lbrtbell]

12. Then you're very naive

You don't have to live in paranoia to be sensible enough to realize that any stranger could harm you.

It's like crossing a street. You are careful, understanding the realistic danger of being hit by a car. That doesn't mean you're paranoid, or that it's "no way to live a life." It just means you're sensible.

If you're not sensible enough to realize that a stranger could be anything from a con artist to a rapist or murderer...you're a victim waiting to happen.

[gollygee]

4. Yes

There is the potential for any wrong accusation of any crime, including rape, though the infamous post's statistics were garbage.

So men should probably be careful before they have sex with a woman to know her well enough to be able to tell if she's likely to lie.

And women should probably be careful before they are alone with a man to know him well enough to be able to tell if he's likely to rape.

[FightForMichigan]

7. So

how can you tell if he's likely to rape before he does?

What if the man in question is a relative? A friend? A boss?

Ugh.

[gollygee]

8. How can you tell if a woman is likely to lie about rape?

You get to know her.

I know them men in my life and have confidence in them or they wouldn't be in my life. I've spent 15 years and had two children with one I have a great deal of confidence in.

But strangers on the street? I don't know them and have no confidence in them.

[FightForMichigan]

11. I'm so frustrated

with discussions of rape that revolve around "the stranger on the street."

Upwards of 80 percent of all rapes are committed by someone the victim knows. Far too often, it's a family member or family friend. So say you're unlucky enough to be born into a family that has one "weird uncle." Then what?

What you're suggesting puts the burden on the victim to avoid the person committing the crime, and so often, that victim is a child who is rather powerless to stop anything.

[gollygee]

14. Obviously people can be mistaken about whom they trust

but I trust my gut and hope I've made good choices.

And yes MOST rape is by people we know, often by people women date, and I was always careful choosing whom I would date as well. And if I see someone I don't know, all I have to go on is my gut instinct. Depending on the situation, I might feel like he's OK or not. Generally, for me, if a man tries to strike up conversation, I'm only creeped out if I feel a sense of entitlement, like I have to talk to him, or I have to smile. Women are told surprisingly often to smile by random strangers.

The point is that men don't have a right to have me trust them. I make that choice based upon my own standards.

I am super careful about whom I will leave my kids alone with. There are very very few people who have been alone with them.

[Lex]

5. However, in a dark parking lot, does a woman fear rape from an unknown approaching male

more than the man fears the woman might tell a lie about him?

[The Straight Story]

6. You see the new version of 'To catch a predator'? They just grab any guy

and tell him to have a seat over there

[seabeyond]

9. all people have the potential to lie. and as i realize that all people have the potential to lie i

protect myself to an extent with ALL people i do not know, until i judge whether or not that person tends toward lying.

once i make the decision, i either place my trust in that person, then they have the potential to hurt me, or i see they lie and i do not ever place my trust in that person and they have little to no potential to hurt me.

but... when a stranger, damn straight i am aware that all people have the potential to lie

[quinnox]

13. the main issue is that men are in the power position

most men are physically stronger and bigger than women, and so can overpower them. So because of this, men have to be especially sensitive to this and try to have a better understanding of the issue from the female perspective. Unfortunately, this is missing from many men. Instead, they have a self-serving attitude, and attempt to minimize or deny the issue. Which if you think about it, is the cowardly way. Because only cowards would attack woman or children or use their physical dominance to get their way towards the weak.

[bemildred]

15. Boy are you going to get it. nt