My interracial marriage in China and what it's like - a perspective
Has anyone seen the move "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?" It came out in 1968. It came out after the Loving V. Virginia decision.
In it, a black man and a white woman fall in love and plan to get married. While the bigotry is only hinted at (the old fashioned maid, the white art gallery assistant, the black man's father), we know after the final credits role what Sidney Poitier and Katherine Houghton will go through for the rest of their lives, as well as any children they may have.
After all, race has been a major part of American society since the colonial era. Native Americans were brutalized, Africans were (to use the textbooks Ron DeSantis wants) "imported," and pretty much anyone that wasn't WASP has been marginalized and shunned until they assimilated well enough for the majority to accept. It took until 1960 for the country to have a Catholic president (we've had enough since then) and until 2008 for the country to have a non-white president.
And yet, as George Carlin said, things changed, but only on paper. The "rights" most minorities have are transparent. There is now a more soft racism than overt. Cab drivers will ignore potential black customers to take white ones, black people will be denied loans and mortgages more than white people, and punishments for similar crimes will be worse for black people than for white people.
When it comes to marriage, society accepts more if a white man marries a minority than a minority man marrying a white woman. Thanks to Agent Orange and his cabal of troglodytes, this is now more in for face like it was in before.
So, looking at the title of this thread, what is the point of all of this and why am I gasing?
汉奸，香蕉人. . .this are things my wife is called on the street. People see us together and these are the things they hiss and whisper loud enough for both of us to hear it. The first is "han jian," which means "race traitor." The second, "xiang jiao ren," is calling her a "banana." I actually heard a few old men and women say something similar to "中国男人配不上你这样的妓女吗," which loosen translates to "chinese men aren't good enough for a whores like you?"
Add to the face that I am referred to as 洋垃圾 (yang la ji) which means "foreign trash" or 白皮猪 (bai pi zhu) which means "white skinned pig" and you see where I am going with this. "Jews deserved what they get because all they do is cause problems" was something else I've been told. 希特勒是一个伟大的人 meaning "Hitler was a great man." All of this simply because when I step outside, I stick out like a sore thumb. Everyone knows I'm not Chinese.
The phrase 洋垃圾 (foreign trash) is extremely racist, because it implies the only reason I am in China is because I am an LBH (loser back home) and that I came here because the only thing I have going for me is my language ability and skin color. It doesn't matter I came to China originally to research for screenplays I was writing and looking to setup the ground work for my PhD dissertation which would be on the the aftermath of the Rape of Nanking. All that matters is how I look and where I am from.
Being Jewish, I got that in the US too because I proudly wear my Star of David everyday. Here, it's because of how I look. And my wife gets it even more. She gets anonymous emails and WeChat messages threatening her and her family's safety if I don't ‘离婚那个外国猴子’ （divorce that foreign monkey）.
So, when I watch "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner," it is personal. I'm living the life Sidney Poitier and Katherine Houghtons' characters will life when the ending credits are over. I get the taxi treatment. I get people getting up from their seats in on subways, curling their lips in disgust, and moving away from me. I get the "why is that thing here" attitude. I've been told "we don't serve foreigners here" in of all places Shanghai. When my wife and I are in public together, we get the looks of disgust and hatred. "How dare that foreigner steal one of our women!"
I guess what I am saying is racism and bigotry aren't solely American. And it's ethnocentric to think that. The Han treat their minorities like dirt, and they are 92% of the Chinese population. Yet, in the Chinese caste system, foreigners are the "untouchable." I used to joke that foreign men were a Chinese woman's dirty little secret. Nice to look at in the gym, fun to talk to in the bar, enjoyable to take home and have sex with (so long as they do in in a way where no one knows, similar to how white women were with black men pre-modern times), but don't be seen in public socially with one. Professionally is okay, but socially will cause problems.
It only gets worse because the CCP has ramped up the racism and xenophobia to 1000 since COVID19. Every problem in China is because of foreigners and if you're married to one, you not only turned your back on the motherland, but you help destroy China from within. And your children will be half blood, half-breed mutants that no Chinese person will accept because the foreigners blood is in that mutant offspring.
Sounds like how things where when black and white people had a baby before it became socially indifferent. The biggest difference is American racism is private. Chinese racism is government sponsored and sanctions. And the Chinese have a government sponsored pogroms against the foreign population in its past. . .the most recent being the Boxer Rebellion of 1898. Under the CCP with Winnie the Flu, it's gearing up.
Now do you all in DU family see why I were are leaving and switching my wife's IR1 visa interview from Guangzhou to Bangkok and I took at temp job in Phuket until we head back to the US？
= new reply since forum marked as read
When I went to China for the 1st time in the early 90's...it was weird. The English speaking Chinese were desperate to improve their conversational English....and I was happy to help.
I was also damn good at Lying Dice. 
By young people, and older folks? I would think the younger would be more open and accepting than hardcore traditionalists.
I hope you and your wife find your right place in the world, with peace and happiness.
