Thu Sep 14, 2023, 08:01 PM
Top 10 Conservative Idiots #15-6: 19 Indicted Co-Conspiratorsl...And Counting Edition
Top 10 Conservative Idiots #15-6: 19 Indicted Co-Conspiratorsl…And Counting Edition Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Yooooooooooooo! What’s up, Santa Ana? How you guys doing? You doing fucking good? Great! Well this is awkward, we were touring Florida as part of filming and also promoting our What’s Up With Florida docuseries, and we were heading to Gainesville, when the authorities basically said “You gotta go home, you can’t stay here!”. So we were basically a show without a venue and the hurricane threw a wrench into our What’s Up With Florida plans. But thankfully our friends at the Observatory OC in Santa Ana hooked us up with their sister venue – Observatory North Park in San Diego, so we’re back, baby! Yeah! Yeah so no comedy in Florida while they get this hurricane mess sorted out. But nevertheless, we will be back! And we must also carry on! But don’t worry, we did get a lot of questions about our What’s Up With Florida docuseries and we can assure you: Part 6 and 7 are still happening. But the good news – we’ve got a brand new segment that we’re announcing! It’s called “My Governor Is An Idiot” and if you think your governor is an idiot, we’ll be comparing governors from two different states in each round, declaring the best and worst governors in the United States in our 2023 Year In Review edition! I am really excited for this segment and we can’t wait to see how it turns out! But other Top 10 business – it looks like season 16 is a go, but we do not know for sure if season 17 is going to happen. We will keep you informed as to what’s happening with the long term future of the Top 10. Well that’s all the big announcements that we have for you right now. OK enough of the introduction, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first, Christopher Titus is back and he talks about the real conspiracies plaguing our society: &t=54s So where do we begin this week ? Well the number one slot goes to right wing terrorist sect The Proud Boys (1) because they fucked around, and they are about to find out what the American justice system has in store for those who tried to overthrow the government! Womp womp, assholes! In the second slot this week is Greg Abbott (2). Yes, his absolutely evil scheme to slice immigrants in half with comically oversized booby traps at the border to please Fox News conspiracy theorists is being met with, what one might call “a little scrutiny”. No, he fucked up. And speaking of fuck ups, in Texas, the unprecedented trial of ex-Texas LT governor Ken Paxton (3) and it’s going to be quite the shit show as expected, but we’ve got your front row seat! In the number 4 slot this week is Elon Musk (4). And wait until you hear his latest hairbrained scheme involving one of his 10,000 companies – specifically his internet service provider Starlink – and it will make your blood boil! Taking the 5th slot this week is a new We’re All Gonna Die (5) and this week with the latest Omicron software update B.286, should we bring back mask mandates? Well, good luck getting the ”we will not comply” crowd to comply! In the number 6 slot this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” and this week we’ve been shocked by the recent developments out of the Chino Hills School Board (6) but we’ve traced the dirty dealings back to MAGA church pastor Jac k Hibbs and whew, this guy is a real Nazi piece of shit! We’re not surprised. In the number 7 slot this week is our segment exploring never ending corporate greed with Late Stage Capitalism (7)) and is the WGA writer’s strike ever going to end any time soon? We think it will when it starts affecting Bob Iger’s bottom line, but he’ll replace the writers with AI before that happens. In the #8 slot this week is our weekly visit into the never ending world of online tin foil hat nuttery in “Conspiracy Corner” (8) and this week, the GOP has been toying the fine line between America and Russia, but our old buddy Alex Jones seems bent on going full Russkie. I mean come on, are we really supposed to believe that there was no collusion? Fuck off! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week we have a new “I Need A Drink” (9) and this week Burger King is in some hot water over its’ advertisement burgers vs what you get when you open the wrapper, and well, it’s quite the stuff of insanity! Finally this week, we have part 6 of our What’s Up With Florida docuseries and this week we’re hanging out in the capitol of Tallahassee and infiltrating a meeting of representatives! What will happen during it? Who knows! Plus to cap things off, we have some live music from the great Mammoth WVH! I mean really, buy his new album Mammoth II or you’re no friend of this program! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key! [div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"] 
[font size="8"]Proud Boys  [br] [/font] Do the Proud Boys have anything left to be proud of? Well after their last major public stunt of attempting to storm the Capitol on January 6th, 2021, their leaders are finally, after two ridiculously long years, getting their just desserts. Shit, at this point, it’s probably easier to list who’s connected to Donald Trump that’s not a convicted felon. Right now, there’s 19 indicted co-conspirators. No let’s make that… 19 indicted co-conspirators… And Counting. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Always got to get a jab in at the Duggar Family. Have you ever made fun of someone so much you wish you could thank them for all the good times you had? But alas, this is neither here, nor is it there. This is about the Proud Boys. And I have to say I was watching with my mug of MAGA tears at the ready last week just watching each of the Proud Boys get their asses handed to them. It was rather glorious. Let’s start with the ring leader – Enrique Tarrio. Holy crap is this guy a piece of shit. But he’s just the kind of guy who the MAGA world attracts. Enrique Tarrio, the former leader of the far-right group Proud Boys was sentenced to 22 years in prison Tuesday after being convicted of seditious conspiracy to disrupt the 2020 presidential election certification on Jan. 6, 2021.
Tarrio’s sentence is four years longer than the second-longest prison term received by any of the 1,100-plus people who have so far been charged in connection with the Capitol riot. The Department of Justice sought to put Tarrio behind bars for 33 years, saying he used his skills as a “naturally charismatic leader” and “savvy propagandist” to organize and execute the plan to forcibly stop the peaceful transfer of power from former President Donald Trump to President Joe Biden. A defense attorney for Tarrio had asked the judge to issue a sentence of no longer than 15 years. Read more: https://www.cnbc.com/2023/09/05/proud-boys-enrique-tarrio-set-to-be-sentenced-for-role-in-jan-6-riot.html 
Bet they can’t be too proud of these boys, can they? But come on, remember when Trump said for these lunatics to “stand back and stand by”? I guess they’re standing back and standing by… for some very long prison terms! Hey o!! Thank you, I’m here all week! Don’t forget to tip your waitress! You know, we can’t feel too sorry for these dolts! They broke into Congress with the intent of murdering half of Congress and overturning a major presidential election. This sort of thing should not be handled with kid gloves. Enrique Tarrio will not only spend his 40s in prison, he will also spend (at the very least) more than half of his 50s in prison before being eligible for three additional years of supervised release.
At the earliest point that his imprisonment and supervised release can end, Tarrio will be 58½ years old. https://www.washingtonpost.com/dc-md-va/2023/09/05/proud-boys-sentencing-enrique-tarrio-jan-6-seditious-conspiracy/ 
Yeah boo fucking hoo, Enrique! You shouldn’t have listened to Sean Hannity and Alex Jones. That shit is very bad for you! I’m enjoying my 40s currently – jetting around the country and playing sold out shows everywhere, getting to listen to awesome bands perform for us every week – but that’s because I didn’t try to overthrow the government! But the other half of the Proud Boys equation is Joe Biggs. Biggs – pictured here looking exactly how I pictured a leader of the Proud Boys to look – is another member of this wretched organization getting a big, steamy bowl of piping hot justice served to him. Joe Biggs, who led the Proud Boys on J6 with Ethan Nordean and Enrique Tarrio, was sentenced in federal court today to years in prison. This was the second longest sentence given to any participant on the insurrection, second Oathkeeper's leader Stewart Rhodes previous sentence of 18 years.
Judge Kelly agreed with the government that the Terrorism Enhancement was appropriate to add to his guidelines, which was an early blow to Biggs at his sentencing. This resulted in a sentencing guidelines range for Biggs of 27-33 years. These guidelines, however, are advisory so the court was not required to sentence Biggs within that range. The government urged the judge to sentence Biggs to the top of the guidelines of 33 years while the defense was asking for several months in prison followed by probation https://www.meidastouch.com/news/breaking-proud-boys-leader-biggs-sentenced-to-years &pp=ygUMbmVsc29uIGhhIGhh] Thank you Nelson! You know, it’s got to be tough for the Proud Boys to have your world come crashing down on you after you listen to your Pied Piper and he marched you off the cliff like everyone said that they would , but they didn’t listen and just jumped anyways. But you know the Infowars crowd just doesn’t know when to shut the fuck up. Yeah Alex Jones and Marjorie Shit For Brains can drum up all the sympathy they want for these cretins. But the harsh reality is that they’re facing justice, and they’re facing years of the same pro-prison policies that the GOP has been putting up for years. Maybe it might finally change their tune, but we doubt it. Trump led these guys off a cliff and they fell for it. A convicted, prominent member of the neo-fascist Proud Boys gang believes that Donald Trump will pardon him if he becomes president in 2024.
Joe Biggs, who was convicted of seditious conspiracy earlier this year for his role in the Jan 6 riot at the US Capitol, was sentenced to 17 years in prison this week. Prosecutors had sought a 33-year sentence for Biggs. Following his sentencing, he made a jailhouse phone call on Saturday to Infowars, the conspiracy theory show hosted by firebrand Alex Jones. Biggs, a former correspondent for Infowars, complained on-air about the quality of prison food and asked viewers to donate to help support his family. He also shared that his military pension had been revoked due to his conviction. https://news.yahoo.com/convicted-proud-boys-leader-calls-184826383.html [/diiv] [div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"] 
[font size="8"]Greg Abbott  
[br] [/font] [br] You know they say everything is bigger in Texas. Especially the assholes. Texas loves them some gigantic assholes, don’t they? Well, the biggest asshole in all of Texas is none other than the current governor himself – Greg Abbott. Come on, people, we’ve got to work to get rid of these assholes. But what Greg Abbott has done – and has been able to get away with – is fucking criminal. I mean like this is war crime level criminal. This is the kind of thing that would get anyone else dragged before the international war crimes tribunal at The Hague. What Greg Abbott did to the migrants crossing the border, not only did he commit multiple felonies, but also a couple of war crimes, and he probably violated an international treaty or two. All to please those damn talk show host overlords. Like really, would the GOP even exist without the talk shows? Let us know in the comments! But holy shit, what Greg Abbott and his cronies Dan Patrick, Ken Paxton, and Sean Hannity are doing at the border is truly the stuff of horror. A federal judge in Austin on Wednesday ordered Texas to remove river barriers that the state assembled along a stretch of the U.S.-Mexico border to repel migrants, giving the Biden administration an early victory in its lawsuit against the buoys approved by Republican Gov. Greg Abbott.
Senior U.S. District Court Judge David Ezra issued a preliminary injunction directing Texas officials to remove the floating border barriers from the middle of the Rio Grande by Sept. 15, at the state's own expense. He also prohibited the state from setting up similar structures in the middle of the Rio Grande, the international boundary between the U.S. and Mexico in Texas. In his opinion, Ezra found that Texas' buoys obstructed free navigation in the Rio Grande, in violation of a longstanding law governing waterways controlled by the federal government. Texas, he concluded, needed to obtain permission from the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, a federal agency, to place the barriers in the river. Ezra noted he was directing Texas state officials to remove the floating barriers from the middle of the Rio Grande by moving them to the riverbank on the U.S. side, rather than ordering its "removal entirely from the river." The Biden administration filed its lawsuit against the floating barriers in late July, arguing that Texas needed permission from the federal government to set up the buoys, and that the state had failed to acquire it. The administration also said the structures impeded Border Patrol agents from patrolling the border, endangered migrants and hurt U.S.-Mexico relations. Read more: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/texas-border-barriers-buoys-removed-federal-judge-biden-administration/ 
Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Gov. Abbott, what I am about to say, I say this with the utmost sincerity: Go fuck yourself to the highest circle of hell, you violent fucking psychopath. This certainly isn’t what Jesus would want, is it? Fuck you and the people who vote for you! Thank you, San Diego! I mean, just seriously – what the absolute fuck? This isn’t just a cry for help, this is some violent, psychopathic shit. And we can also thank Fox News for getting us here, because all these assholes do is complain and commit violence. A federal judge in Texas has ruled that a controversial floating border barrier in the Rio Grande River violates federal law and must be removed.
U.S. District Judge David Ezra ruled that the 1,000-foot-long string of large buoys and saw blades in Eagle Pass, Texas, was ordered deployed by Gov. Greg Abbott without proper federal authorization. "Governor Abbott announced that he was not 'asking for permission' for Operation Lone Star, the anti-immigration program under which Texas constructed the floating barrier," Ezra wrote in his order. "Unfortunately for Texas, permission is exactly what federal law requires before installing obstructions in the nation's navigable waters." Ezra, who was appointed to the bench by Ronald Reagan, granted the Biden administration's request for a temporary injunction. He gave Texas until Sept. 15 to move the barrier to shore, and barred the state from placing any additional buoys or other structures in the river. https://www.npr.org/2023/09/06/1198028921/texas-floating-border-barrier-rio-grande-abbott-judge-mexico-immigration 
Yeah we cannot underestimate the damage that the MAGA Taliban is doing at the border. Do we really want these psychos running the White House again? I know that I don’t. Like why are the right wing so obsessed with drag queens and trans kids when the real groomers and murderers are running in unopposed states like Florida and Texas? And by the way, in case you’re keeping score at home – this little stunt to get ratings on Fox News has so far cost the state $4.2 BILLION. That’s right – billion, with a B. All because Sean Hannity needs some ratings and Fox News needs a crisis to manufacture. Fox News – the reason why we can’t have nice things! Long wait lines for trucks at the border after Gov. Greg Abbott ordered increased inspections cost Texas more than $4.2 billion in goods and services and the equivalent of 36,000 jobs, a report from Texas economist Ray Perryman said Wednesday.
The border standoff essentially ended on Friday after nine days, with Abbott agreeing to end the additional inspections on commercial vehicles after the governors of four Mexican states — Chihuahua, Coahuila, Nuevo León and Tamaulipas — announced they had reached security agreements with Texas. But the dispute that started April 7 cost about $1 billion a day in cross-border trade to the United States and $470 million a day to Texas. In all, it will cost the equivalent of 77,000 job years for the country and 36,300 for Texas’ economy, Perryman said. A job year is considered to be one person working for a year, though Perryman said, in this case, it’s primarily multiple people working for shorter periods. https://www.dallasnews.com/business/economy/2022/04/20/economist-says-gov-abbotts-border-inspections-lost-texas-42-billion-and-36000-jobs/ 
Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Look people, here’s the thing – and here’s the thing we’ve been saying since we started this program. You don’t want to see bullshit political theater dominating the headlines? You don’t want see your tax dollars go to fund Fox News’ ratings sweeps week? There’s one thing you can do – vote these fucking lunatics out! A t every single level. Doesn’t matter if it’s a school board, city council, governor, senator, representative… these people control our lives and we’ve got to stop letting the worst of us, like Greg Abbott, get into positions of power that they shouldn’t be anywhere near. The real crisis at the border is that we put psychos like Greg Abbott in charge. After a federal judge ruled Texas must get rid of a 1,000-foot barrier designed to deter migrants from crossing the Rio Grande, Gov. Greg Abbott said he'd appeal the decision — and wouldn't get rid of the floating barrier unless SCOTUS tells him to.
On Wednesday, Judge David Ezra of the US District Court in Austin ordered the removal of the barrier and required Texas to foot the bill, pushing back on Abbott's decision to install it back in July "without authorization of any kind," ruling the buoy system is "an obstruction to the navigable capacity of that waterway" and a "threat to human life." "Governor Abbott announced that he was not 'asking for permission' for Operation Lone Star, the anti-immigration program under which Texas constructed the floating barrier. Unfortunately for Texas, permission is exactly what federal law requires before installing obstructions in the nation's navigable waters," he said. Abbott swiftly responded, declaring plans to appeal. "Today's court decision merely prolongs President Biden's willful refusal to acknowledge that Texas is rightfully stepping up to do the job that he should have been doing all along," his office wrote, adding that "Texas is prepared to take this fight all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court." https://news.yahoo.com/texas-gov-abbott-doesnt-want-163133199.html 
[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"] 
[font size="8"]Ken Paxton   [br] [/font] [br]
If you want to know the absolute pinnacle of GQP insanity and what their totalitarian state of mind could bring – just look no further than the state of Texas. Texas, which is headed by the psychopath trifecta of Greg Abbott, Dan Patrick, and Ken Paxton, has seen that there’s no limit as to the amount of pure evil the GOP can purvey. Which we have to ask the question that’s on everyone’s mind – is Ken Paxton stupid, batshit crazy, or just plain fucking evil? I personally say that it’s a combination of all of the above. But this entire trial is absolutely unprecedented. Because it’s not the democrats prosecuting a well deserved political opponent like that guy who we inexplicably used to call president. No, it’s a party going after one of their own – because – wait for it – he’s having an affair. Oh the horror! Remember the republican insanity we had to put up with during the Clinton impeachment trial? Well I say strap in and stock up on plenty of popcorn, because we ain’t seen nothing yet! The seventh of Paxton’s deputies-turned-whistleblowers testified Wednesday afternoon, describing how he went from receiving gifts and an award personally from the attorney general to being unceremoniously fired after reporting his boss to the FBI.
James Blake Brickman served as a deputy attorney general in charge of Paxton’s schedule. He said he had an office about five feet from Paxton’s, and the two had a great relationship. In May 2020, the attorney general received nationwide acclaim and attention from conservative media circles for his advocacy for a Dallas woman who had violated a COVID-19 stay-at-home order. Brickman said he had recommended the intervention, so in thanks, Paxton did something Brickman said he’d never done before: He summoned dozens of his top staff and offered Brickman an award. Along with the award, Paxton gifted Brickman a copy of a book from deceased Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia -- a revered figure in the modern conservative legal movement. Inside the cover, Paxton wrote Brickman an inscription. https://www.houstonchronicle.com/politics/texas/article/ken-paxton-impeachment-trial-live-updates-18355612.php 
Oh this is too damn good! Does the GOP not see the irony of impeaching one of their own – and a “I’m more conservative than you” kind of guy at that – over an affair after we had to put up with three years of bullshit and them not knowing what the definition of the word “is” is? Just… ahh!!! But come on, MAGAs, what did you expect with these out of control totalitarian lunatics? I knew it was a matter of time before one really stepped in it, but I got to admit that I did not have “Ken Paxton Impeached For An Affair” on my 2023 MAGA Bingo Card! Oh and it gets weirder, my friends! At the end of September 2020, it finally made sense to Jeff Mateer why his boss, Attorney General Ken Paxton, was devoting so much of the agency’s attention to Paxton’s friend, Austin real estate investor Nate Paul.
In Wednesday testimony that took up most of the second day of Paxton’s impeachment trial, Mateer said that for months he could not figure out why Paxton had brushed off repeated warnings that assisting Paul in his business disputes was an improper use of state resources. And then, as the office was erupting in crisis when senior deputies learned that Paxton had quietly hired an outside lawyer to conduct an investigation on Paul’s behalf, Mateer said he learned something else. Paul had hired the woman with whom Paxton was having an extramarital affair, allowing her to move to Austin, where the attorney general could more easily visit her. “It answered the question, why is he engaging in all these activities … on behalf of Mr. Paul?” Mateer testified. “It seemed to be he was under undue influence. At times, I wondered: Is he being blackmailed?” https://www.texastribune.org/2023/09/06/ken-paxton-impeachment-trial-mateer/ 
Yes, let them fight, I say! But here’s where it gets weird, and you knew it was going to. Because I mean come on, these are the people who claim to be Trump’s BFFs. Apparently, the deliberations for the trial were supposed to begin this week. But the GOP appears to have already thrown in the proverbial towel, because they don’t want to give up power. You know, this sort of thing will look bad for Greg Abbott’s reelection campaign. But the fact that Mr. Paxton used campaign funds to renovate his house really makes us wonder who else does it and why haven’t they been caught yet? In a surprising move, Texas House impeachment managers who for more than a week have presented evidence against embattled and suspended Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton rested their case late Wednesday afternoon.
Immediately afterward, defense attorney Tony Buzbee made a motion for what’s called a directed verdict, which would dismiss the charges against Paxton outright. The vote requires a simple majority – 16 of the senators present – to acquit. Senators were instructed by Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick to meet and deliberate the defense’s motion. Soon after however, the body reconvened and Patrick said both sides had withdrawn their motions. This was the defense’s latest attempt to dismiss the impeachment charges against the suspended Republican attorney general, who has been accused of bribery and obstruction of justice by prosecutors. https://www.keranews.org/2023-09-13/in-surprise-move-house-impeachment-managers-rest-their-case-against-suspended-texas-ag-ken-paxton 
While this is an ongoing situation, you can bet that we’re glued to our screens awaiting the outcome of this farce. And yes, it is, by definition, a farce. But it’s also showing what happens when the balance of power is so far out of whack that it throws the entire scale off balance. Think of it like the very planet we live on. It’s supposed to balance on its’ axis, right? Well just imagine what could happen when the scale is so far tipped that it throws the axis off? Yeah that’s what is happening in Texas (and also Florida) right now. Ken Paxton is just the first one to get caught. Sigh… quite the criminal racket these scumbags are running. Attorney General Ken Paxton’s impeachment is testing the political clout of Texas’ most prominent far-right power brokers, Tim Dunn and Farris Wilks, at a time when their grasp on state politics may be more tenuous than ever.
Since he was impeached in late May, Paxton has received tireless support from groups funded by the West Texas oil magnates. Their main political arm, Defend Texas Liberty PAC, has threatened to target pro-impeachment Republicans in next year’s primary elections and pumped $3 million into the campaign coffers of Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick, who is overseeing the trial. Affiliates have produced a documentary and a music video, and have unleashed a barrage of texts framing the impeachment as a conspiracy driven by House GOP leaders to distract from their legislative failures. “Anybody that was a part of this witch hunt, all of those RINOs in the Texas House, and the Bush friendlies, the globalists, have to go down,” Jonathan Stickland, the former lawmaker who now leads Defend Texas Liberty, said last week on the podcast of former Donald Trump advisor Steve Bannon. “They’ve shown their heinies. It’s time for us to kick them out of office, and we will be leading the charge to do that.” https://www.houstonchronicle.com/politics/texas/article/paxton-impeachment-dunn-wilks-18360052.php 
[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"] 
[font size="8"]Elon Musk [br] [/font] [br]
You know it’s a fucked up week when Elon admits to helping his buddy Vlad out and it doesn’t even make the top spot on the list! So last week our old buddy Elon Musk, you know him as the CEO to Tesla, Space X, Twitter/X and about a billion other companies, admitted that he throttled his Starlink service that he was providing free of charge so he could help the poor people of Ukraine fight the hostile invading force known as Vladimir Putin’s Russia. But, alas, there was a hiccup last year when Ukraine’s naval forces were fighting back against a Russian battle fleet. But the worst part of this whole thing isn’t that he did what he did. The worst part is that he acknowledges that he knows that he may have committed a war crime by aiding an enemy hostile to the United States – and – he probably wont get punished for it because the MAGA conspiracy theory wing of Congress is on his side. Hold your boos. Elon Musk on Thursday acknowledged turning off internet access from his Starlink satellites during a Ukrainian raid last year on a Russian naval fleet, saying he did so to prevent SpaceX from being “complicit in a major act of war and conflict escalation.”
Musk responded on his social media platform X to new details from an upcoming book that indicated he ordered his engineers to shut off communications network before the attack off the Crimean coast. “There was an emergency request from government authorities to activate Starlink all the way to Sevastopol,” Musk wrote on X, the platform previously known as Twitter. “The obvious intent being to sink most of the Russian fleet at anchor. If I had agreed to their request, then SpaceX would be explicitly complicit in a major act of war and conflict escalation,” Musk wrote. An excerpt about the raid from American author and journalist Walter Isaacson’s upcoming biography on Musk, titled “Elon Musk,” was published by CNN. https://thehill.com/policy/defense/4193788-musk-acknowledges-he-turned-off-starlink-internet-access-last-year-during-ukraine-attack-on-russia-military/
Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I think it might finally be time to say this so I definitely will: Fuck you, Elon! You know this whole red pill / blue pill shit isn’t funny. It’s dangerous. Vladimir Putin has minions, cronies and lackies everywhere, all around the world. So of course you know that the old saying goes “the enemy of my enemy is my friend”. Well, look at what happened after Elon turned off his internet service. He gets praise from – wait for it – Vladimir Putin! And we’re supposed to believe for a second that there was no Russian collusion in the 2016 election? Get the fuck outta here! Russian President Vladimir Putin has hailed tech billionaire Elon Musk as an “outstanding person” and businessman whose SpaceX company has become a key player in the space transportation industry.
Putin’s public praise of Musk on Tuesday comes days after the South African-born and United States-based entrepreneur said he refused a Ukrainian request last year to activate his Starlink satellite communication network in the Russian-annexed Crimean port city of Sevastopol to aid an attack on Russia’s Black Sea fleet, saying he feared complicity in a “major” act of war. Putin, speaking at an economic forum in Russia’s Far East, did not refer to the Starlink controversy. But when asked about the success of Musk’s SpaceX company in launching rockets into space, he was full of praise. “As far as private business and Elon Musk is concerned… he is undoubtedly an outstanding person. This must be recognised, and I think it is recognised all over the world,” Putin said. https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2023/9/13/russias-putin-praises-elon-musk-days-after-ukraine-starlink-controversy 
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! But there is good news is that people are fighting back against the evils that Elon and his goons are doing. Like did anyone expect that he’d get away with aiding and abetting Vladimir Putin? Well, the MAGA conspiracy theorist lunatics can cry and make up all the bullshit they want to make up about Nazis being in the Ukraine. Yeah that’s the fucking irony here. The people being invaded by the evil hostile entity are the Nazis. But before we get into that, let’s see what is happening in the fight against our billionaire overlords. Senator Elizabeth Warren is demanding an investigation into SpaceX after Elon Musk acknowledged he had blocked Ukraine from extending the private Starlink satellite network for an attack on Russian warships near the Crimean coast.
“The Congress needs to investigate what’s happened here and whether we have adequate tools to make sure foreign policy is conducted by the government and not by one billionaire,” the Massachusetts Democrat said Monday at the Capitol. Musk, the chief executive officer of SpaceX, is expected to be among the technology industry chiefs to attend a closed-door summit with senators at the Capitol on Wednesday. Warren, a member of the Armed Services Committee, said she also wants the Defense Department to look into its contractual relationship with the company........................ https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2023-09-11/elizabeth-warren-demands-probes-of-elon-musk-spacex-after-ukraine-revelations 
But seriously – Elon, what are you doing? With this crowd it’s never their own fault. It’s always somebody else’s fault. Or it didn’t happen. Or it’s a false flag. Because all this crowd does is make shit up and fling their poop against the walls until it sticks. Yeah there’s a disgusting image for you. However, once you hear Elon’s latest whopper, which was said on his own podcast… wait a minute, Elon has a podcast too? Come on, E stay in your own lane! But we can’t overlook the fact that he’s already making it not his fault. He needs to turn off his tin foil hat. Elon Musk has been scrambling to defend his decision to block Ukraine's access to Starlink in 2022 near Crimea — and his latest explanation involves blaming the US government.
Access to Starlink in the territory near Crimea was "turned off" because the US has sanctions against Russia, Musk said. Starlink is not allowed to turn access on in Crimea without government approval, he said. "If I got a request from the president type of thing — from the American president, to be clear — then I would have turned it on," Musk said about the use of Starlink in Crimea. "No such request came through." Musk made the comments during an episode of "The All-In Podcast" that was uploaded on the Musk-owned X, previously known as Twitter, on September 12. https://www.businessinsider.com/elon-musk-joe-biden-us-government-responsible-for-starlink-debacle-2023-9 
[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"] 
[font size="8"]We’re All Gonna Die  [br] [/font] [br]
Hey everyone, guess what? We’re all gonna die! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! WOOOOOOO!!! WOOOOOO. WOOO. WOO. Well folks, a couple of weeks ago, you might remember us talking about the latest software version of the Omicron variant of COVID-19. Which is actually named like a software update. The B2.86 variant of Omicron seems to be taking hold. But what’s different about this one is that it seems to be getting more contagious but less deadly. But does that necessarily mean that we have to bring back… THE MASK? Well, yea h good luck getting the “WE WILL NOT COMPLY!!!!!” crowd to comply with that one. No way in hell are you going to close that Pandora’s box again. Here’s the thing – you’ve probably seen people you know who have been voluntarily masking to not get COVID. And you might have seen news about your local schools possibly bringing back the mandates. But here’s the truth. The state of California is taking action in an attempt to stop a controversial Chino Valley Unified School District policy involving transgender students from being enacted.
Attorney General Rob Bonta on Monday announced that the state Department of Justice is suing the CVUSD board over its requirement that parents be notified if their child asks to use a name or pronoun other than that listed on their birth certificate or school records, something described as a “forced outing policy.” “The policy also requires notification if a student requests to use facilities or participates in programs that don’t align with their sex on official records,” Bonta’s office said in a press release. The policy was approved last month with a 4-1 vote, despite a decidedly mixed response from those in attendance at the meeting. https://ktla.com/news/local-news/state-targets-forced-outing-policy-of-chino-valley-school-board/ 
Calm down dude, we’re not gonna die. But what we say is good luck closing that pandora’s box. I mean you just know that the idiot MAGA lunatics in Congress right now are like “Fuck you CDC! You can’t tell me what to do!!! It’s my body, my choice!!!”. Yeah remember back in the dark days of COVID when we used to mock the hell out of right wing nut jobs who were using the same language and terminology that they used to mock pro-lifers for? What goes around comes around! Imagine telling the RN at the hospital that the reason you’re there is because you had to see the Smash Mouth concert at the Sturgis biker rally. Not for me! As doctors warn coronavirus is on the rise, some Northern California hospitals are bringing back an old COVID-19 requirement: mask mandates.
The current spike is being blamed on summer travel with more people staying indoors to avoid the brutal heat. Nowadays, very few people wear masks. With this uptick, some healthcare providers are closely monitoring transmission. Kaiser Permanente confirmed to CBS13 its Santa Rosa facilities reinstated mask mandates. Sutter Health also said healthcare workers are masking in their San Francisco-based facilities to comply with county mask requirements. https://www.cbsnews.com/sacramento/news/as-covid-19-cases-rise-mask-mandates-return-at-some-hospitals/ 
No dude, nobody is dying here. But I can already hear my MAGA neighbors right now going “We don’t need no face diapers!!! You can’t tell us what to do!!!”. Well, here’s the thing – you missed the key word in the article – “TEMPORARY”. This is not a full time thing. And for you MAGA lurkers out there, yeah I see you making the claims on social media that democrats are rooting for COVID to come back to thwart the 2024 election. To which I say – 1) GOOD!, 2) the election is next year, and 3), trust me, I’ve got a brother who is in public health, and he has assured me that nobody, anywhere, is “rooting for COVID” to come back. Calm down Qarens. The U.S. is seeing a late-summer spike in COVID cases, prompting some schools, hospitals and businesses to encourage — or even require — people to start masking up again.
The most recent Centers for Disease Control and Prevention data, from earlier this month, shows nationwide COVID hospitalizations increased by nearly 19% in a single week and deaths by more than 21%. CDC Director Mandy Cohen said Tuesday that recently up to 10,000 people a week have been hospitalized with COVID. But, she added, that's far fewer than the 40,000 such hospitalizations a week the U.S. had at its highest point last August. "We're in a much different and better place in August of 2023," she said. "We have stronger immunity and tools to protect ourselves, we have vaccines, at-home tests, effective treatments and common-sense strategies like washing your hands and staying away from people when you're sick." https://www.npr.org/2023/08/31/1196943567/covid-cases-surge-mask-mandates 
Ha!!! Did you see that? We all saw that! Even the CDC themselves has said that we’re in a much better place to deal with COVID in September of 2023 than we were in April of 2020. But our position hasn’t changed in three years, either. We still say that if anti-vaxxers want to voluntarily remove themselves from the gene pool, then they can happily be our guest! But again, I can absolutely guarantee that nobody wants COVID or any of the measures that we had to endure in the interest of public health coming back. A few schools, hospitals and businesses scattered around the country have brought back masking requirements in response to spikes in COVID-19 cases in their regions.
Morris Brown College in Atlanta issued a two-week, precautionary mask mandate for its students and employees despite no cases being detected on campus yet. The move was informed by some positive cases detected around the Atlanta University Center, a consortium of four historically Black colleges and universities, including Morris Brown College. Perhaps the most well-known entity to bring mask requirements back to the workplace is the Hollywood movie studio Lionsgate, which informed staff members this week that they would be required to wear masks at their offices in Santa Monica, Calif. On top of these measures, employees at Lionsgate will also be required to perform daily self-screenings and to stay home if they are experiencing symptoms or have traveled internationally in the past 10 days. Public health officials say such moves are warranted if individual schools and companies think it’s the right decision. And in an era of living with COVID, these decisions will come about on a case-by-case basis. Just as individuals practice mitigation methods based on their own level of risk, singular entities like schools and businesses will practice how they see fit. https://thehill.com/newsletters/health-care/4170237-dont-expect-a-government-mask-mandate-again/ 
[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"] 
[font size="8"]Holy Shit: The Chino Hills School Board Takeover    [br] [/font] [br]
Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of: 
My fair congregation! Please be seated! You know we’ve been increasingly alarmed at the far right Taliban takeover of our nation’s school boards to force a dark and almost certainly evil agenda on our nation’s children. This agenda is rolling back civil rights, diversity programs, and ethics training in favor of… whatever the exact opposite of that is. But there’s one school board in particular in our home state of California that really stepped in it. That is Chino Hills USD. And if you’re unfamiliar with where Chino Hills is, well it’s right up the freeway from our home offices in Santa Ana. But the reason they’re in the news so much is because the MAGA lunatics who got elected all came out of the same megachurch and they’re under intense scrutiny. For these are people who do not worship JAYSUS. They worship the unholy, ungodly Dark One! I of course speak of a man so foul, so profane, so disgusting that his name dare *NOT* be spoken in my church! But what’s really scary is that this church – whose pastor is a friend of the Dark One, is being seen as a role model for the entire country. No, that’s not the country that I want to live in! Outside the California State Capitol last month, a fitness trainer turned school board president fired up the crowd at a parental rights rally, telling them they were all fighters in “a spiritual battle” for their kids and must answer the call from God.
Sonja Shaw, who was elected to the Chino Valley Unified School District board of education last November with an assist from a local megachurch and its Christian nationalist pastor, didn’t equivocate in naming the enemy: state Democratic officials who are challenging her right-leaning policies—and drafting laws that hinder book bans and protect teachers from harassment. “Today we stand here and declare in his almighty name that it’s only a matter of time before we take your seats and we be a God-fearing example to the nation, how God is using California to lead the way,” Shaw crowed, adding, “We already know who has won this battle. You will be removed in Jesus’s name! You, Satan, are losing.” Now Shaw is in the national spotlight in wake of her Chino school board passing codes that ban pride flags in classrooms and force educators to inform parents if their children identify as transgender—the first such policy to be passed in the state. https://www.thedailybeast.com/california-megachurch-pastor-jack-hibbs-and-his-acolytes-are-pushing-public-schools-to-the-far-right 
Holy shit! Does anyone else get Kenneth Copeland in 2020 vibes from this guy? Remember that bizarre scene where he attempted to “blow away” COVID? Yeah that’s how I feel exactly! But Satan’s not the one losing here, sir. Who’s losing is our nation’s children. For they have become political pawns in whatever bizarre game of cat and mouse the Christian right are playing with the United States government. Actually it’s more like playing a game of chicken. Step out in front of one car, you get nothing step out in front of another car.. BAM! And that BAM in this case is a big one. Hundreds attended a heated Chino Valley school board meeting as a controversial policy requiring parental notification of transgender children passed with a 4-1 vote.
The policy requires staff to notify all parents in writing within three days after a student requests to identify with a gender different than what is on their birth certificate, according to Chino Valley Unified School District. The notification also applies to students who request a pronoun change or to be called a different name that is not listed on official school records. The request to use a different bathroom will also activate the notification policy. The board voted on the policy Thursday night in an hours-long meeting filled with tension. State Superintendent of Public Instruction, Tony Thurmond, was in attendance and spoke against passing the policy during the public comment period. During his speech, he was cut off and a shouting match erupted from the audience as he was escorted out of the building. https://ktla.com/news/local-news/controversial-policy-would-require-parent-notification-of-transgender-students-in-chino-valley/ 
Yes, my friends, we are dealing with some extremely disturbed, sick and twisted individuals here. For they are not creatures of light. They worship the unholy Dark One and all of the evil, vile, and venom that he spews! But the good news is that people are fighting back! For this grossly unconstitutional act of pure evil has no place in the great state of California or the United States in general! Well maybe they do in lunatic fringe MAGA conspiracy theorist Taliban fantasy land they do. But those of us who live in reality are recognizing the dangers of what the MAGA Taliban is proposing. It’s time to start fighting back against the inherent evil that is the MAGA Taliban! A San Bernardino Superior Court judge on Wednesday, Sept. 6, temporarily blocked a Chino Valley Unified policy that would require schools to out transgender students to their parents.
Judge Thomas Garza granted the state’s request for a temporary restraining order against the parental notification policy that requires schools to inform parents if their child identifies as something other than the gender they were assigned at birth. After nearly an hour of discussion in court, Garza said he granted the injunction against the notification policy in an “abundance of caution,” noting that while most parents are not a danger to their children there are exceptions. The purpose of the notification policy is unclear, Garza said, and too broad. The matter is due back in court Oct. 13 for a formal hearing. https://www.dailybulletin.com/2023/09/06/judge-temporarily-blocks-school-boards-policy-to-out-transgender-students-to-parents/ 
To the Chino Hills School Board, I say: fuck you! And to Jack Hibbs, another fuck you! Can I get an amen, my fair audience? Thank you! But the trans conspiracy theory agenda isn’t the only evil piece of legislation that the Chino Hills school board has. They have another evil piece of legislation in the works and that is that they want to force kids to out themselves if they are LGBT. Yeah this is inherently and stunningly EVIL. It is certainly not what JAYSUS had intended. And we can definitely thank Jack Hibbs and the MAGA Talban for installing these cretins in our school boards. If Chino Hills is a “role model”, then what’s the opposite of that? We don’t know. The state of California is taking action in an attempt to stop a controversial Chino Valley Unified School District policy involving transgender students from being enacted.
Attorney General Rob Bonta on Monday announced that the state Department of Justice is suing the CVUSD board over its requirement that parents be notified if their child asks to use a name or pronoun other than that listed on their birth certificate or school records, something described as a “forced outing policy.” “The policy also requires notification if a student requests to use facilities or participates in programs that don’t align with their sex on official records,” Bonta’s office said in a press release. The policy was approved last month with a 4-1 vote, despite a decidedly mixed response from those in attendance at the meeting. https://ktla.com/news/local-news/state-targets-forced-outing-policy-of-chino-valley-school-board/ 
We’ll be keeping an eye on any developments that happen with this case, you can count on that! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:
[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"] 
[font size="8"]Late Stage Capitalism: The WGA Strike 
[br] [/font] [br]
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Presents: “Greed, for lack of a better word, is good.” – Gordon Gekko, Wall St. (1987) When corporate profits are at an all time high, there is nowhere else to go but to make more millions. There is corporate greed, and then there is: 
Welcome back to our segment on the relentless pursuit of never-ending corporate greed, Late Stage Capitalism! Sure, it’s not enough to make $50 billion, you need $150 billion! You need to be able to tank entire countries while you jet off in your penis-shaped rocket to the vast emptiness of deep space! But these are the kind of things that we get when we allow corporate greed to run rampant and ruin the entire landscape. Well this week, the seemingly never ending WGA writer’s strike happening in Hollywood and New York right now, is never ending. Don’t get attached to any currently running shows because they aren’t coming back any time soon. But when Bob Iger, the CEO of Disney, makes $139 million a year, while his average employee makes a paltry $25,000 a year, can we all agree that is a huge fucking problem? Well you’d think after over 100 days of striking that one side would crack, but it’s not the side we had hoped would. A group of top-tier showrunners including Kenya Barris and Noah Hawley has set a meeting with the WGA leadership as they try to aid the negotiating process.
The move is not a sign of discontent among the guild, as rumored by some, but rather a chance to bring more high-profile folks into the process as the writers strike has moved into its fourth month. We hear that Black-ish creator Barris, Hawley, the man behind FX’s Fargo and its upcoming Alien series, and others are set to sit down with leadership on Friday at the WGA West’s L.A. headquarters. “This was meant to be an information session and not meant to offer anything more than help,” a source close to events told Deadline. “That is still the intention so we can all get a fair deal to get back to work.” It comes as a large group of high-powered scribes, including Steve Levitan, Shawn Ryan, Aline Brosh-McKenna, Carlton Cuse, Rene Balcer, Jack Burditt, Mike Scully, Matt Selman, Andy Gordon and David Shore, attended a picket line outside at Fox to show solidarity among showrunners. https://deadline.com/2023/09/writers-strike-kenya-barris-noah-hawley-wga-meeting-1235544702/ 
Yeah this is the absolutely crazy thing about this strike – is that when we last checked in on them about a month ago, we thought it was nearing it’s logical conclusion! But nope, the CEOs were like “Fuck you!!! Roll!!! Death to your dreams and hopes!!!”. We get it, guys, you five assholes have most of the concentrated wealth in Hollywood. Guess what? It’s because you don’t pa your employees, you deadbeat losers! But this strike won’t end until it affects bottom lines, and that’s the end game on the CEO’s part. It will keep going until someone cracks. Warner Bros. Discovery trimmed its full-year earnings guidance for 2023 on Tuesday by $300 million to $500 million because of the continued strike by actors and writers, which has stopped production of most shows and movies.
The corporate parent of CNN had previously told investors that it expected the strike to be over by early September. But WBD now says it cannot predict when the strike will ultimately end, and it assumes the impact will continue through the rest of this year. “WBD is hopeful that these strikes will be resolved soon,” said a filing the company made with the Securities and Exchange Commission with its new guidance early Tuesday. The company said even with the $300 million to $500 million hit to adjusted earnings before interest, taxes, depreciation and amortization, (EBITDA) it expects that key earnings measure to come in at $10.5 billion to $11 billion for the year. https://www.cnn.com/2023/09/05/media/warner-bros-discovery-strike-impact/index.html 
Hooooooooooooooooooooly shit! So let’s think about this here for a minute. Rather than pay their employees what they’re worth, the CEOs throw a shit fit and act like monkeys in a zoo over an increase in wages. Which leads to? The CEOs could lose a combined $500 million. Is there an end? Well there’s two ways this could go. The biggest problem is streaming. And it’s suggesting that the fact that the strike has gone on this are suggesting that the more traditionalists in Hollywood are going to break from the modern streaming services. The one thing we cannot deny is how much of a hit the overall industry took during COVID and it’s starting to show. In its latest strike-era update to members, the Writers Guild of America is suggesting that studio member companies of the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers break off from the organization and negotiate individual deals with the union.
As negotiations appear to be remaining at a standstill, the WGA’s negotiating committee told members in a Friday update that behind-the-scenes conversations with individual legacy studio executives amid the strike have shown a “desire and willingness to negotiate an agreement that adequately addresses writers’ issues.” The negotiating committee added that “Those same executives — and others — have said they are willing to negotiate on proposals that the AMPTP has presented to the public as deal breakers. On every single issue we are asking for we have had at least one legacy studio executive tell us they could accommodate us.” The union leaders then floated the idea that member companies break off from the AMPTP, which counts the production subsidiaries of Netflix, Amazon, Apple, Disney, Warner Bros. Discovery and others as members, and negotiate their own deals with the WGA. “We have made it clear that we will negotiate with one or more of the major studios, outside the confines of the AMPTP, to establish the new WGA deal. There is no requirement that the companies negotiate through the AMPTP,” the negotiating committee wrote. They further suggested that strike-time “economic destabilization” or “Wall Street” might convince companies to pursue this strategy. https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/business/business-news/writers-strike-update-union-studios-break-off-amptp-1235585993/ 
Oh people! Stop your rabbling! If you miss your favorite talk shows (and who doesn’t, right? Trump is giving the writers A list material and they’re not around!), we need to stop this mess and get this strike fuss settled as soon as possible so everyone gets back to work. But the truth of the matter is that the big money CEOs like Bob Iger should be should be absolutely ashamed of themselves for the greed and the taking and for what they have done to this country. But they won’t. Megalomaniacal billionaires don’t feel any shame. But like I said from the beginning of this thing – you’d better strap in, because your favorite shows aren’t coming back any time soon. Negotiations between the Writers Guild of America and the Screen Actors Guild and the American Federation of Television and Radio Artists are still at a standstill with the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers, and member companies are pivoting to content distribution and monetization strategies to weather the storm.
In its latest statement, AMPTP member companies assured the public that they are aligned and negotiating together towards a resolution, despite any other contrary statements. But so far, the AMPTP has presented a counteroffer to the WGA which includes a 5% increase in wage rates in the first year of the contract, 4% in the second year, and 3.5% in the third year—a compounded 13% increase over the three-year contract as opposed to the 6%-5%-5% wage increase originally proposed by the WGA. Also, written material produced by generative AI will not be considered literary material, in addition to other counteroffers made by the AMPTP in its comprehensive counteroffer package released late last month. Accusing the AMPTP of trying to get the writers to “cave”, the WGA negotiating committee is now calling for studios to negotiate individual deals with the union separately from streamers due to disparities between business models and interests, as well as historical differences and relationships. https://www.forbes.com/sites/rosecelestin/2023/09/10/how-hollywood-is-preparing-for-a-prolonged-strike/?sh=5e9c9e11a4a3 [/div 
[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"] 
[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner [br] [/font] [br]
Welcome back to our segment that attempts to explain the unexplainable, Conspiracy Corner! Of course conspiracies exist when people simply don’t want to read the article past the headlines and just flat out make shit up. We of course are coming to you live from our underground doomsday shelter from deep within the New Mexico badlands. Undisclosed location, of course! Let me just adjust my trusty tin foil hat for maximum government interference. Ah, there we go! They are trying to read yours and my thoughts after all! Well, folks, for four long years we’ve been told by the MAGA cult that there was no interference from Russia in the 2016 election that got Trump elected to the White House. This week, we’re finally learning that they were completely full of shit. Gee, I’m absolutely shocked! Which basically makes us ask the question – what in the holiest of hells does Vladimir Putin have on this guy? Well, in the name of all things Q Anon, we’re betting that Putin has some things on Alex Jones that will guarantee to make someone kvetch! Far-right conspiracy theorist Alex Jones has compared the U.S. to the 9/11 hijackers in an interview with a prominent Russian state-media pundit.
In the 45-minute interview with Vladimir Solovyov, one of Moscow's chief propagandists, Jones made a series of unsupported or false accusations against some of America's wealthiest people and drew comparisons with their "control" of the country and the September 11 hijackings. Jones has rarely made media appearances since he was ordered to pay damages to people involved in or affected by the 2012 Sandy Hook shooting for spreading false theories about the incident. His interview with Solovyov is another example of how the Russian propaganda machine exploits the views of U.S. commentators and conspiracy theorists to further its narrative around the war in Ukraine. Speaking to Solovyov on his show Full Contact, Jones said that he is proud to be an American but that he lives in an "occupied globalist country". He accused "oligarchs" like "Klaus Schwab and Bill Gates" of being in control of the country. In a series of outlandish comments, he claimed they are "arresting everybody" and that "our country is captured." https://www.newsweek.com/alex-jones-conspiracy-theory-september-11-usa-vladimir-solovyov-1825521 
Uh……. Fucking what???? Imagine being so off the rails batshit paranoid that you believe that your own country is being occupied by outside forces… on a blatant propaganda outlet owned by outside forces hostile to the United States? Let’s think about this here for a minute. And of course with the batshit insanity, it’s followed by the usual white male conservative bout of “the vapors”. I mean come on , that’s fucking pathetic. But it happens every damn time. Trump did it. Enrique Tarrio did it. Kyle Rittenhouse did it. And now we can add Alex Jones to that pathetic list. I mean come on, guys, grow the fuck up! It’s been a while since Alex Jones, arguably America’s most famous conspiracy theorist, has made news. The last time was back in May, when the Infowars guy fell for a fake AI Tucker Carlson who suggested they suck on each other’s nipples. But now he’s made a big comeback by going on Russian state TV, where he proceeded to trash America, almost cry, and almost vomit.
As per Newsweek, Jones was a guest on Full Contact, hosted by top propagandist Vladimir Solovyov. There he called America under Joe Biden an “occupied globalist country” run by “oligarchs” like “Klaus Schwab and Bill Gates.” He also claimed that the government is “arresting everybody” and that “our country is captured.” To really class up the joint, Jones compared government officials to “hijackers who take over an airplane,” adding, “They’re flying the American airplane into the building—like 9/11—that is Russia. And so I’m trying to stop that.” Jones also asserted that he’s facing “assassination” attempts, even going so far as to say, “This could be my last message.” About the Russian invasion of Ukraine, he said, “we have to tell the truth about what’s happening in Ukraine, even if it gets us killed, because the globalists are insane, mentally [sic] degenerates.” https://uproxx.com/viral/alex-jones-russian-state-tv-appearance/ 
Yeah that’s the irony with these shitbags. We have had to put with six years and two absolute farces of a trial that said that there was no collusion with Russia. 6 years! And now they’re going on Russian state owned TV like it’s no big deal. And if that isn’t enough – there’s more. We have sitting Congressional people going on Alex Jones like it’s no big deal. Like our old buddy Marjorie Shit For Brians, for instance, she went on Alex Jones to discuss what was going on at Burning Man last week, and apparently it’s all part of one big indoctrination scheme. Do you realize how insane these people sound? Because we live in an age of near-unfathomable stupidity, Georgia Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Farcical) sat down with reviled conspiracy theorist Alex Jones over the weekend and revealed THE TRUTH about this year’s rain-and-mud-soaked Burning Man festival.
The first part of the previous sentence – the part in which a bafflingly influential Republican lawmaker lets herself be interviewed by an unhinged quack who has been ordered to pay nearly $1.5 billion for defaming the families of eight school shooting victims – would, in a normal version of American politics, be a scandal. But there’s nothing normal about our politics these days, so let’s focus on the second part, which somehow manages to be even nuttier. Burning Man, the annual desert festival of art, self-reliance and celebrity weirdness, became a quasi-disaster this year as heavy rain turned the usually bone-dry Nevada desert into slick and impassable mud, temporarily stranding the 70,000-plus attendees over the long Labor Day weekend.. Burning Man, the annual desert festival of art, self-reliance and celebrity weirdness, became a quasi-disaster this year as heavy rain turned the usually bone-dry Nevada desert into slick and impassable mud, temporarily stranding the 70,000-plus attendees over the long Labor Day weekend. https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/columnist/2023/09/05/burning-man-brainwash-marjorie-taylor-greene-touts-climate-change-conspiracy/70762248007/ 
I seriously wonder if she and Alex Jones wake up every day and are like “Yay! Something bad happened, now I can say something even worse about the bad thing that happened!”. The Infowars crowd always comes up with the wrong answer to every question, and it’s like they intentionally try to. “Why is the sky blue?”. “No, the sky is pink and the blue sky people have all been brainwashed by the global elites to get the government to sign draconian climate change legislation!”. Do you see how insane that sounds? Do you??? Do you see why we are alarmed that popular far right talk show hosts are going on state TV owned by entities hostile to the United States? Anyone that goes on Alex Jones’ show at this point should be considered a national security risk. Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.) went to bat for fellow conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, saying “all he did was speak words” after a jury ordered the Infowars host to pay Sandy Hookvictims’ families nearly $1 billion for his lies about the elementary school massacre.
“Were his words wrong and did he apologize? Yes,” Greene tweeted on Wednesday. “That’s what freedom of speech is. Freedom to speak words. Political persecution must end.” Greene, who has a history of pushing conspiracy theories about mass shootings, praised Jones and claimed he’s been “right pretty much most of the time” after he lost an August defamation trial for lying about Sandy Hook. Her comments after the latest verdict echoed Jones’ failed free-speech defense. Jones repeatedly claimed the 2012 school massacre was faked and involved actors. In reality, it left 20 children and six adults dead. https://news.yahoo.com/marjorie-taylor-greene-ripped-ludicrous-112506366.html 
[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"] 
[font size="8"]I Need A Drink 
[br] [/font] [br] Hey everyone, I don’t know about you, but I could really use a drink! 
So of course you know by now that the idea of this segment is that we have some drinks and while we are drinking, we’re talking about literally anything in the news as long as it doesn’t directly relate to politics. Because there’s a lot of toxic rhetoric and talk show hosts are attempting to divde us on a daily basis. So our solution is to belly up to the bar and have a couple of drinks and forget about life for a few minutes. My sober brothers and sisters, we got you covered too! Grab a cold glass of your favorite iced coffee, tea, or energy drink and come get wired with us! So this week, you know I love a good beef, and there’s no beef beefier than a beef involving fast food giant Burger King and it’s own customers. Over what, you might ask? Well I answer you, it’s because of the advertising. You ever wonder why the Whopper you’re about to consume doesn’t look a thing like in the ads? Well this has been going on since the 80s. There was an entire scene about it in the Michael Douglas flick Falling Down. So tell me what goes well with this story, bartender? A Whopper cocktail? What’s in that? Just a whopper in a blender? No thanks. I’ll stick with my usual Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. I call it the “Double Jack”. So what is going on with this lawsuit? Well here’s more. A judge has ruled that Burger King must face a class action lawsuit accusing the chain of false advertising, joining the ranks of other fast-food giants like McDonald's, Burger King and Taco Bell.
The latest in a line of similar legal actions, the lawsuit was originally filed in March 2020 and accused the burger chain of falsely inflating the size of its signature Whopper sandwiches in promotional materials. The suit claims that Burger King made Whoppers appear twice as large as they actually are in advertisements, while the actual burgers served to customers are 35% smaller than those marketed. "Burger King advertises its burgers as large burgers compared to competitors and containing oversized meat patties and ingredients that overflow over the bun," said the filing. 
Yeah come on, why are people acting like this is some sort of new phenomenon? People have been going after advertisers for years trying to tell them that they should make their products that you buy look like what they’re trying to sell you. Well, I got news for you, Jack. It’s called “advertising” and this is literally one of the first things they teach you in advertising 101. Things – wait for it – aren’t always what they seem to be. See, fast food is a product that is made to sell… well… fast. Yeah that’s the kind of hard hitting journalistic analysis you’re getting from this program! But not only do Burger King’s products not look what they are advertised, they are actually smaller than they appear to be! A judge has ruled that Burger King must face a class action lawsuit accusing the chain of false advertising, joining the ranks of other fast-food giants like McDonald's, Burger King and Taco Bell.
The latest in a line of similar legal actions, the lawsuit was originally filed in March 2020 and accused the burger chain of falsely inflating the size of its signature Whopper sandwiches in promotional materials. The suit claims that Burger King made Whoppers appear twice as large as they actually are in advertisements, while the actual burgers served to customers are 35% smaller than those marketed. "Burger King advertises its burgers as large burgers compared to competitors and containing oversized meat patties and ingredients that overflow over the bun," said the filing. https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/food/2023/08/30/burger-king-class-action-lawsuit/70717589007/ 
Look I’ll solve this ridiculous lawsuit right now. It’s fast food. You’re not exactly getting a 1, 2, or 3 Michelin starred product here. You’re getting a $7 cheeseburger. Just go to the drive through, get your bag o’ crap, eat it in your car and enjoy it. The thing is these products are made to be cheap and to move fast, they’re not meant to be Instagram worthy photos or anything. Any cartoon show – whether it’s the Simpsons or Futurama or Beavis & Butt-head, animated shows making fun of the quality of fast food has been a joke as old as time itself. But do you really want to let a jury decide this? Is Burger King telling whoppers about its Whopper? A court may now decide.
A US federal judge has rejected the fast-food chain’s bid to dismiss a lawsuit claiming it cheated hungry customers by making its Whopper sandwich appear larger than it actually is. Roy Altman, a US district judge in Miami, said Burger King must defend against a claim that its depiction of Whoppers on in-store menu boards misleads reasonable customers, amounting to a breach of contract. Customers in the proposed class action accused Burger King of portraying burgers with ingredients that “overflow over the bun”, making it appear the burgers are 35% larger and contain more than double the meat than the chain serves. Burger King, a unit of US-based Restaurant Brands International, countered that it was not required to deliver burgers that look “exactly like the picture”, but the judge said it was up to jurors to “tell us what reasonable people think”. https://www.theguardian.com/business/2023/aug/30/burger-king-whopper-lawsuit 
But why are you going after Burger King? Of all the fast food restaurants that you could pick from, that’s the one you sue? Yeah they do have the catchiest advertising jingle of all time. No I’m not going to play it because I don’t want pay royalties. Come on, we don’t make Daily Show money or even show after the Daily Show money. We make podcast money. Which is why our shows are recorded at 2:00 PM on a Thursday at the local Chuckle Hut! But the interesting thing is that a judge in – where else but Florida – is allowing this lawsuit to proceed. Have it your way, assholes! A U.S. district judge in Miami rejected the burger chain’s bid to dismiss a class action lawsuit brought by customers who say Burger King's in-store menu boards show a much bigger Whopper than what is actually served.
Specifically, Burger King is accused of portraying its signature sandwich as having ingredients that, quote, “overflow over the bun" - making it appear 35% larger overall and with more than double the meat of an actual Whopper. Burger King, a unit of Restaurant Brands International, countered that it wasn’t required to deliver burgers that look “exactly like the picture.” But the judge said it’s up to a jury to decide what “reasonable people” would think – and whether Burger King’s alleged actions amount to a breach of contract with its customers. Burger King and its lawyers did not immediately respond to requests for comment. The plaintiffs' lawyer was not immediately available for comment. https://news.yahoo.com/burger-king-must-face-lawsuit-183641115.html 
[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"] 
[font size="8"]What’s Up With Florida? Pt 6: Hanging Out In Tallahassee    [br] [/font] [br]
Welcome back to our segment that explores the Sunshine State. The state of Florida. You also know it as America’s wang. To bring you up to speed, in the last four parts, we brought you some tales of some really stupid people in Florida. We hung out with retirees in the overwhelmingly Trump voting district known as The Villages. We also infiltrated a meeting of the single most controversial school board in the entire nation. We also watched from the front lines as Neo Nazis, er Ron DeSantis voters, staged a protest outside of Walt Disney World because, reasons. This week we’re hanging out in the state’s capitol, Tallahassee. Because we’re trying to figure out exactly what makes the state with the 3rd most electoral votes in the country tick. Well, the big thing going on in Florida right now is control over the legislative districts. Because he who controls the districts controls………… information! Seeking a final ruling before the legislative session starts in January, both sides in a battle over a congressional redistricting plan asked an appeals court Friday to fast-track the case to the Florida Supreme Court.
The joint request by attorneys for the state and voting-rights groups was expected: They had filed a document last month in Leon County circuit court signaling that they would seek to effectively bypass the 1st District Court of Appeal and go straight to the Supreme Court. But the request underscored the high stakes of the case, as Leon County Circuit Judge J. Lee Marsh ruled Sept. 2 that a redistricting plan pushed through the Legislature last year by Gov. Ron DeSantis was unconstitutional. “This appeal requires immediate resolution by the Florida Supreme Court to provide certainty to voters, potential candidates and elections officials regarding the configuration and validity of Florida’s congressional districts sufficiently in advance of the 2024 elections,” the request filed at the Tallahassee-based appeals court said. “Given the inherently time-sensitive issues presented in elections cases, redistricting and other election-related cases are routinely certified for immediate resolution by the Florida Supreme Court.” https://www.wmnf.org/both-sides-seek-quick-resolution-fight-over-floridas-congressional-district-maps/ 
Yeah of course, no matter what we want, that douchebag always has to have his say. You know who I’m talking about – Florida’s reigning authoritarian king, Ron DeSantis has to weigh in with his opinions, and you know, of course, he’s wrong on everything. But here’s the thing – conservatives don’t just control the state house and senate in Florida. They control EVERYTHING. And Florida is one of the states that just goes to show you the inherent dangers of heavily one-sided one party rule that’s dominated by talk radio talking points. Florida Supreme Court justices seemed sympathetic Friday to the argument from the government that the state constitution does not protect abortion, a view that could pave the way for a sweeping abortion ban to become law.
The lawsuit challenging the current 15-week ban was brought by a group of Florida-based abortion providers, including Planned Parenthood. Their central argument was that the law violates the state’s constitutional right to privacy, which voters approved in 1980 and the Florida Supreme Court in 1989 said provides a fundamental right to an abortion. The state argued the nearly 35-year-old ruling was wrong and is banking on a much more conservative court reshaped by Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) to agree. https://thehill.com/policy/healthcare/4194284-florida-supreme-court-justices-question-state-abortion-protections/ 
Yeah Ron has basically turned into the South Park version of Mickey Mouse, hasn’t he? But here’s why we say that every single election is important and it doesn’t matter who’s running, but you should definitely take a closer look at your local candidates the next time you fill out that ballot. See, too many people get into positions of power that they have no business being in simply because there’s too many people in this country that don’t exercise their voting rights. A couple of weeks ago, we talked about Ron DeSantis’s shocking and completely stupid move to axe AP Psych and Bio from AP curriculum because – wait for it – gender stuff. Yeah boooooooooo. A new college entrance exam that has become popular among Christian schools and conservative political groups may soon expand its footprint to include Florida’s public universities — following a boost from the DeSantis administration.
The Florida Board of Governors, which oversees the state’s public universities, is expected to vote at its August meeting on whether to accept Classic Learning Test scores for admissions, in addition to the SAT and the ACT. If the board approves it, Florida would become the first public university system in the country to accept the test. The Classic Learning Test, or CLT, was created in 2015 as an alternative college entrance exam rooted in a teaching model that emphasizes the humanities, morality and classical literature. The test has found favor in recent years among some conservatives as an antidote to progressive influence, and it is now accepted by more than 200 predominantly private universities. Florida’s consideration of the CLT follows a high-profile dispute between the administration of Gov. Ron DeSantis and the College Board, which administers the SAT, over an Advanced Placement African American history course offered by the organization. After he accused the AP course of left-wing bias, DeSantis said Florida would look for alternatives to other College Board products. https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/florida-classical-alternative-sat-clt-desantis-ap-rcna95910 
Yeah so the state of Florida has a hardcore religious fundamentalist problem on their hands. And we’ve been saying this for years! And by the way if you don’t think that Ron Desantis is a man who’s drunk with power, just wait until you check out his hurricane response. He sent out FEMA – the Federal Emergency Management Agency – to only half the state. And if you check the districts that he sent FEMA to – they’re pretty much the districts that directly voted for him. So if you vote MAGA, you’re protected. If you vote against them, you’re fucked. That’s Florida under Ron DeSantis and a heavily one sided GOP rule. Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis declared a state of emergency for 33 counties along the Gulf Coast on Saturday in response to a new tropical system forming off the coast of Mexico.
Leaving almost half of the state under a state of emergency, DeSantis’ said in a statement he “signed an Executive Order issuing a state of emergency out of an abundance of caution.” The system developed into Tropical Depression Ten off Mexico’s Yucatan Peninsula late Saturday afternoon, according to the National Hurricane Center. Tropical Depression Ten is forecast to gradually strengthen over the next 48 hours, likely becoming Tropical Storm Idalia on Sunday. The current forecast calls for the storm to approach Florida’s Gulf Coast later on Tuesday.. https://abcnews.go.com/ABCNews/ron-desantis-issues-state-emergency-33-florida-counties/story?id=102589068 
[font size="4"]Next Week: [/font] For our final part of What’s Up With Florida?, we’re going to find out who votes for Ron DeSantis and the Florida GOP, and tell you our final conclusions of exploring the Sunshine State. [font size="4"]And Now This: [/font] [font size="4"]Mammoth WVH [/font] Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest, you know him as the son of LA guitar legend Eddie Van Halen. He can currently be seen with Metallica out on the M72 World Tour including stops in St. Louis, November 3rd, and Detroit on November 13th, plus his solo tour which is lasting through Dec. 20th. Playing his song “Another Celebration At The End Of The World”, give it up for Mammoth WVH! Thank you very much for putting up with the crap we’ve had to endure since we had to leave Florida unexpectedly. We’ll be back to our regularly scheduled programming next week live from Riverside! See you next week!  
Credits Host: Initech Mammoth WVH Appears Courtesy Of: BMO Rights Management Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of A Live Audience At: Observatory North Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders. Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders Articles: All article content copyright belongs to respective copyright holders Writing: Top 10 Writing Department Graphics: Top 10 Graphics Department Research: Top 10 Research Department Lighting & Stage Props: Top 10 Lighting Department Legal: Top 10 Legal Department Advertising: Top 10 Advertising Department HR: Top 10 Human Resources Department Initech’s Wardrobe Provided By: JAB Inc. Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management Follow The Top 10 On Mastodon at: [email protected] Follow The Holy Church Of The Top 10 On Mastodon at: [email protected] Questions? Comments? Complaints? Hate mail? E-mail The Top 10 at: [email protected] 
Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo
|
1 replies, 341 views
Always highlight: 10 newest replies | Replies posted after I mark a forum
Replies to this discussion thread
 1 replies |
Author | Time | Post |
 Top 10 Conservative Idiots #15-6: 19 Indicted Co-Conspiratorsl...And Counting Edition (Original post) |
Top 10 Idiots | Sep 14 | OP |
| underpants | Sep 14 | #1 |
Response to Top 10 Idiots (Original post)
Thu Sep 14, 2023, 08:19 PM
underpants (178,677 posts)
1. Great list as always.
