Thu May 25, 2023, 05:00 PM

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #14-16: Everybody Wants To Impeach The World Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #14-16: Everybody Wants To Impeach The World Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Yoooooooooooooooo!!! What’s up, Santa Ana? How are you guys doing? You doing fucking good? Great! You know, our favorite late night shows may be affected by the WGA strike but we’re still here and ready to bring you plenty of comedy! Well, here we are at the end of the season already, now don’t be sad! We’re coming back in July and things are going to be big for us. But I will say that a lot of people have been asking us about the future of the Top 10. I can assure you that we will have an announcement coming in the next few weeks. But we’re not sure what the future is going to hold for our fine program after the conclusion of season 15 which will end with our 2023 Year In Review Edition on 12/15/23. But whatever decision we make, we can assure you it will be for the greater good of the program. THE GREATER GOOD! Do we have time for the thing? Of course we do! So you know right now the WGA writer’s strike is going on in Los Angeles and New York right now, and everyone is affected because of this. In fact even we’re affected because we can’t even really bring you any of the funny talk show clips that we regularly feature here. We actually had a planned edition of our segment on corporate greed, Late Stage Capitalism about the strike that will air in one of our Best Of editions while we’re gone for the summer. But really people, pay your damn writers a living wage! Do we really have to put Rivers Cuomo on the case? Yeah, the writers have got a lot of support from the industry! Even our good friends Weezer are joining in! But networks are replacing scripted shows with reality shows. We don’t want… no we’re not getting replaced with a reality show, stop it already! OK fine! Yes, stay tuned for MILF Island! OK enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to, but first we have to play this clip from John Oliver talking about Fox News vs Joe Biden vs the US – Mexico border. It’s a clusterfuck!

Well, folks! It’s the season finale! And before we get out of here for the summer, we’re going to sprinkle this edition with some of our patented Clips Without Context! Because there’s way too many of them out there, and conservatives keep giving us fresh content for free! Isn’t that generous of them? Well in the number one slot this week, it goes to our old friend Marjorie Three Names (1), who last week announced “Impeachment Week” because apparently ridding the government of anyone with a D next to their name is the “will of the Republicans”, but really just a group of deranged conspiracy theorists who spend way too much time on conservative podcasts. In the second slot this week is our old buddy Ron DeSantis (2). Yes, Ron’s on a warpath to go full Nazi, and his ever-increasing legislation is getting more evil by the day, with the premise that he’s “saving the children” from something. What it is, we don’t know for sure. In the third slot this week is Conservatives vs Tik Tok (3) and specifically the state of Montana has become the first to ban Tik Tok, because of the right wing’s increasing derangement and hostility towards the “Chinese Communist Party”. Yeah tell us you get all your news from Infowars without telling us you get all your news from Infowars. In the number 4 slot this week is CNN (4). Wait, what??? Yes, CNN, once a bastion for liberals and a direct competitor to Fox, is now a shell of its’ former self, thanks to its’ new right wing president, and the hits just keep on coming! In the number 5 slot this week is a new We’re All Gonna Die (5) and this week, the UN has sounded the alarm on climate change and we could hit catastrophic levels in the next few years. But is it really going to kill us all? Probably. In the number 6 slot this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” and this week, there was a shocking revelation from the Mormon Church’s headquarters in Salt Lake City that they have way too much money and they don’t know what to do with it all! Can we have some, please? Taking the number 7 slot this week, we add former Auburn coach and current Fox News MAGA Q Anon senator Tommy Tuberville (Q – Insurrectionist) to the ever-growing list of People Who Somehow Got Elected (7). In the number 8 slot this week is our weekly venture into the world of online tin foil hat nuttery in Conspiracy Corner (8), and this week, Trump is trying to deflect from his recent woes by going after the Clintons again. Because, derangement, and he’s also got some bullshit in the form of a right wing book called “Clinton Cash”. Eh, this one is too stupid to insult. In the number 9 (NEIN!!) slot this week, we have a new “I Need A Drink” and holy shit, we have to talk about this absolutely ridiculous lawsuit about who owns the trademark to “Taco Tuesday”. Because it’s truly insane. Finally this week, it’s Stupidest State 2023 (10). IT. ALL. COMES. DOWN. TO. THIS. It’s the Stupidest State 2023 Championship. #1 Florida against #2 Missouri. We are live at the home of champions, the fabulous Staples Center in Los Angeles with the game, the ceremonies, the champagne, the trophy presentation, and of course One Shining Moment! Plus to cap things off, we have some live music from a little band called, I don’t know. Metallica! Yes, buy their new album 72 Seasons or you’re no friend of this program! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Marjorie Three Names
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Hey everyone, it’s time for one of our patented (patent pending) Clips Without Context!

Oh dear god no. Last thing we need is white supremacist scumbags in the Senate. It’s bad enough they’re already polluting the House. Now back to our regularly scheduled program!

Look, if the last three years of hearing every stupid thing that comes out of Marjorie Taylor Greene’s (Q – Batshit) mouth 24 hours a day has taught us anything, it’s this – stop giving a megaphone to stupid people! People who are as crazy and out of touch with reality as Marjorie Greene is, we used to give people like that the straight jacket and padded walls treatment. The sad thing is, it might be a long time before we finally decide to give these MAGA Q dipshits who won’t shut up and go on every terrible internet talk show you can think of, the heave ho that they so richly deserve. But anyway, Marjorie’s latest ridiculous stunt is going on an impeachment warpath. And it was quite the stuff of pure, unaltered insanity. It’s one thing to suggest firing a person or two. But she has suggested firing the entire democratic party because it’s the “will of the republicans”. Well I got news for you, Marjorie – we don’t want the “will of the republicans”! That’s why we voted you out twice. But wait – hold your boos.

Why it matters: The drafted articles of impeachment, which likely won't go too far, come in response to the FBI's search at former President Trump's home at Mar-a-Lago.

Driving the news: Greene has called on Garland to be impeached "for endangering, compromising and undermining the justice system of the United States by facilitating the persecution" of President Biden's political rival, Trump, according to the drafted articles she shared in a Twitter post.

Garland did not "faithfully" execute the office of the attorney general's promise to "preserve, protect and defend" the United States Constitution, she wrote in the articles.

Greene's office and the Department of Justice did not immediately respond to Axios' request for comment.
https://www.axios.com/2022/08/13/marjorie-taylor-greene-merrick-garland-impeachment

Yeah see, kids? Wait, I said hold your boos! This is what happens when your brain is rotted by a steady stream of 24 hour a day right wing propaganda. It turns your brain to mush and your choices are dictated by what you saw on Sean Hannity last night. So impeach everybody. Like the Tears For Fears song – everybody wants to impeach the world! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! I don’t want to brag, but we do have Tears For Fears confirmed as a guest next season! It’s a drug and an addiction, and the people who are addicted to it. And come on, who needs to think critically when Fox News does all of your critical thinking for you? But again, hold your boos because Marjorie Greene is currently swirling the drain with her impeachment announcements and it’s the stuff of pure idiocy and insanity.

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.) said on Tuesday that she will move to introduce articles of impeachment against FBI Director Christopher Wray and Matthew Graves, the U.S. attorney for the District of Columbia.

Greene alleged in a release that Wray has turned the FBI into President Biden and Attorney General Merrick Garland’s “personal police force.” She said the FBI has “intimidated, harassed, and entrapped” U.S. citizens who have been “deemed enemies of the Biden regime.”

She cited several examples of FBI actions in the past few years during Wray’s tenure that she believes demonstrates overreach and improper conduct by the agency.

Greene referenced the plot that multiple men had in 2020 to kidnap Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer (D), pointing to the couple who were acquitted after defense attorneys argued that the FBI entrapped them and convinced them to engage in the conspiracy.
https://thehill.com/homenews/house/4006840-marjorie-taylor-greene-says-she-will-move-to-impeach-us-attorney-for-dc/

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha… fucking what??? Wait a minute, she’s going after the FBI director for his involvement in that insane plot to kidnap Michigan governor Whitman over… *checks notes* doing his job. But then last week, ol’ Marge dropped the proverbial big one. She’s going to attempt to impeach Biden again. And I don’t even need to point out that this is the third time that she has attempted to do so, because, I don’t know, this has to be some kind of derangement syndrome. So you know, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three or more times…shame on you? I don’t know anymore, these are some really stupid ass people we’re dealing with.

Republicans will try to impeach Joe Biden every week if they retake the House in November, a rare anti-Trump Republican congressman predicted.

Remembering repeated attempts to defund the Affordable Care Act under Barack Obama, Adam Kinzinger of Illinois said: “That’s going to look like child’s play in terms of what Marjorie Taylor Greene is going to demand of Kevin McCarthy.

“They’re going to demand an impeachment vote on President Biden every week.”

Kinzinger was speaking to David Axelrod, a former Obama adviser, on his Axe Files podcast.

Kinzinger is one of two Republicans on the House committee investigating the Capitol attack Trump incited. He will retire in November. The other, Liz Cheney of Wyoming, lost her primary to a Trump-backed challenger.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/sep/20/adam-kinzinger-republicans-impeach-biden-every-week

Yeah that is a good question, Marjorie, what the hell is wrong with you? I mean, they’ll impeach Biden because reasons, but they’ll stand behind continuously lying asshole George Santos, also because, reasons, apparently. But speaking of someone who’s lying her ass off, despite multiple failed attempts to impeach Biden that don’t go anywhere, Marjorie put out a “survey” from her Twitter followers that claims to backup the results that people want Biden impeached. No one wants Biden impeached except for deranged internet conspiracy theorists and the few people left who still support the asshole who we used to call president. What’s the point of having a survey if you’re going to rig the results? SMDH. BTW, nobody tell them that Twitter polls don’t translate to votes!

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) on Tuesday cited her own survey as proof Americans back her plan to impeach President Joe Biden.

During a House floor speech, Greene accused Attorney General Merrick Garland of being a "personal police force" for President Joe Biden.

"What I want to tell the House of Representatives today is a Rasmussen poll was released just last week that 53 percent of voters in America, Republicans, independents, and Democrats, support the impeachment of Joe Biden for high crimes and misdemeanors," Greene claimed.

The lawmaker said she had also created her own social media survey that was shared on Twitter.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/marjorie-taylor-greene-cites-her-own-twitter-poll-as-proof-joe-biden-should-be-impeached/ar-AA1bAhU2?li=BBnbfcL

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[font size="8"]Ron DeSantis
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This is actually perfect timing here because we’re off for the summer after tonight, so we won’t get to cover Ronnie’s big announcement, even though we all know what it will be. So the worst governor in American history and the biggest partisan extremist elected to office since Joseph McCarthy wants to be president? Well, let’s take a look at his track record and what’s going on in the Sunshine State. First off, let’s address the book bans. What the right wing is doing in regards to banning books is absolutely horrifying. We here at the Top 10 Home Offices in Santa Ana, California, have been contemplating what the ultimate end game of the MAGAs is, and it’s not good. In fact we see scenarios like mass murder and public executions happening under the next GOP president. And let’s take it from Salman Rushdie – a man who’s no stranger to being banned from the public square. He’s absolutely 100% right on the money on this issue.

Less than a year after an attempt on his life, author Salman Rushdie made a rare public appearance at an awards ceremony Thursday to warn of the dangers of banning books and of related movements in the US to roll back freedoms of expression.

“The attack on books, the attack on teaching, the attack on libraries, in – how can I put this – Florida, has never been more dangerous, never been more important to fight,” he said.

Rushdie spoke at the PEN America Gala in New York City, praising the literary and free speech advocacy group for its latest efforts to block politicians and local officials seeking to ban literature concerning race and gender identity.

PEN America, along with book publisher Penguin Random House and several parents and authors, filed a lawsuit on Wednesday challenging Florida’s Escambia County school district’s removal of certain books on race and LGBTQ issues from school libraries.

“I was really proud to hear yesterday that PEN America, together with my publisher Penguin Random House, has taken this step of bringing a lawsuit in Florida,” Rushdie said.
https://www.cnn.com/2023/05/19/us/salman-rushdie-award-florida-book-bans/index.html

Oh and we can’t forget about his ongoing feud with Disney, oh no. This is an absolute disaster and he won’t stop. Desantis is like the villain in an action movie where he keeps getting beat down, only to keep coming back to life. Yes, like some kind of fucked up T2. But as long as Desantis is governor, we don’t expect him to quietly retreat into the night. Oh no, he’ll continue to get louder and crazier about his fight with Disney. And it’s so stupid too. It’s all about partisan political bullshit. Ron Desantis is enabled and emboldened by Fox News, and they will continue to enable and embolden this psychopath for a very long time.

The war between the Walt Disney Company and Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis just opened up a whole new front in the courts.

After months of battling with the likely GOP presidential contender and his personally appointed board over jurisdiction and control of Orlando-based Walt Disney World and its now-besieged special district status, the House of Mouse today took the white gloves off and sued the governor in federal court.

“Disney regrets that it has come to this,” the company said in its complaint (read it here). “But having exhausted efforts to seek a resolution, the company is left with no choice but to file this lawsuit to protect its cast members, guests, and local development partners from a relentless campaign to weaponize government power against Disney in retaliation for expressing a political viewpoint unpopular with certain state officials.”

In a showdown that has been brewing and boiling as DeSantis’ presidential ambitions have grown, the Bob Iger-run media giant claims that the Sunshine State governor has enacted a policy of “retaliation” against Disney because of its opposition to one of his priorities, a parental rights bill known as the “Don’t Say Gay” law.
https://deadline.com/2023/04/disney-lawsuit-ron-desantis-over-disney-world-retaliation-free-speech-1235338120/

Yeah come on, Florida! Do you really want this guy as your leader? We’ve got to start loosening Fox News’ iron grip on that state. And by the way, in case you were wondering, the GOP doesn’t give a flying fuck about free speech. It’s one of those “I’ve got mine so fuck you” kind of deals. But we have to talk about how this one “parent”, and we say parent in quotation marks because we’re not sure if this person is a parent with kids in this school and filed a legitimate complaint, or is a social media shit stirrer. We’re leaning towards the latter. But because MAGA conservatives currently run the Miami – Dade school board, they don’t give a fuck. And this is just in one state. Imagine what this would be like on a national scale. And this is criminally insane. That “parent” and the school board should be chastised into oblivion.

A Miami-Dade elementary school limited some access to Amanda Gorman’s presidential inauguration poem, The Hill We Climb, after a parent complained that it contained indirect “hate messages.”

Gorman, 25, who gained national prominence after she recited her poem at President Joe Biden’s 2021 inauguration, took to Twitter Tuesday to denounce the school’s actions.

“I’m gutted,” the poet wrote in a lengthy Twitter statement, before saying that censored books are often authored by people “who have struggled for generations to get on bookshelves,” most of whom are “queer and non-white.”

“I wrote The Hill We Climb so that all young people could see themselves in a historical moment,” Gorman wrote. “Ever since, I’ve received countless letters and videos from children inspired by The Hill We Climb to write their own poems. Robbing children of the chance to find their voices in literature is a violation of their right to free thought and free speech.”
https://www.politico.com/news/2023/05/23/florida-school-inaugural-poem-ban-00098492

God damn it. This moron didn’t even read the poem or know who it was by. Fuck off! This is why we can’t have nice things. Just… ah!!! Florida continues to circle the drain on a daily basis. The complaint itself is criminally insane too. I won’t post it, but it is worth a Google search. But that being said, don’t expect criticism of Ron DeSantis to come any time soon. Because Ron DeSantis is surrounding himself with ass kissers, bootlickers, and yes men, and is actively working to silence any opposition towards him. Which means that if he’s president, imagine this on a national scale. That would basically mean the end of the Top 10 as we know it, and every other program like ours!

Ron DeSantis is building a near-bulletproof shield against criticism in the news. A pair of bills working their way through the Florida state legislature would make it easier to sue media outlets for defamation, and also shield records on how and where the Florida governor goes (including retroactively).

DeSantis has adopted a classic Republican talking point: casting the news media as an enemy. These two bills are just the latest efforts by his government to curb news in the state.

The first bill, passed by the House Civil Justice Subcommittee last week, would make it easier to sue journalists for defamation. The measure expands the definition of defamation but makes it harder to sue elected public officials. The bill also dictates that information from an anonymous source is “presumptively false,” with no exceptions for whistleblowers.

People accused of discriminating against someone’s sex, gender, sexual orientation, or race based on personal scientific or religious belief would be protected against defamation charges. Judges and juries would be allowed to “infer actual malice,” instead of the plaintiff needing to prove it. If the plaintiff wins, they could collect legal fees from the news organization they sued, instead of both parties paying their own costs.
https://newrepublic.com/post/171341/ron-desantis-florida-bills-media-criticism

[font size="8"]Montana Bans Tik Tok
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Oh look, it’s time for another Clip Without Context!

Man, as if we didn’t need any more of a reason for the MAGAs getting increasingly more cult like. I mean holy crap. This merger of church and state is the stuff of nightmares! OK back to regularly scheduled programming!

Benjamin Franklin once said “Those who are willing to trade their freedom for security don’t deserve either”. It was true in 1789 and it’s true in 2023. But then again I’m sure our founding fathers didn’t envision the MAGA conspiracy theory wing of the GOP when they wrote the Constitution, but here we are. So you may have heard talk actually coming from both parties about whether or not to ban the Chinese social media app Tik Tok from app stores. And yes, but actually both parties kind of agree on this one, because it’s about security as Tik Tok is hosted on servers that are somewhere in the middle of China on unsecured servers, and they’re notorious for stealing your data. But one such MAGA conspiracy theorist who is bent on banning Tik Tok whether we want to or not, is Montana governor and part time professional wrestler Greg Gianforte. Yes, Mr. Body Slammer himself banned Tik Tok and then gave the country a giant middle finger in the process.

Montana officially became the first state to ban TikTok on Wednesday, after Gov. Greg Gianforte signed a bill restricting downloads of the immensely popular social media app into law.

The legislation, which was passed in April, makes it illegal for app stores to give users the option to download TikTok and also illegal for the company to operate within the state.

The law is likely to face challenges in court arguing it restricts free speech, but Gianforte praised the bill's privacy protections.

“The Chinese Communist Party using TikTok to spy on Americans, violate their privacy, and collect their personal, private, and sensitive information is well-documented,” Gianforte said in a news release, calling the law "the most decisive action of any state."

Read more: https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/montana-becomes-first-state-ban-tiktok-governor-signs-bill-law-rcna84994

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Chinese Communist Party? Shut the fuck up and get that Alex Jones bullshit out of here. So you might be asking “why ban Tik Tok?”. Well, I answer you, good sir or madam, aside from giving us insane challenges like running through brick walls to imitate the Kool Aid Man (see: Top 10 #14-6 ) or smuggling Fruit Roll Ups past airport security before flying to Isreal (see: Top 10 #14-13 ), the biggest reason is national security. But again, that all goes to that original Ben Franklin quote that we mentioned earlier.

Keri Williams wouldn’t have her business without TikTok. She launched The Branded Pinto, her custom hat shop, about two years ago after a video she shared of one of her creations “blew up” on TikTok. Nearly all of her business still comes from the platform.

But earlier this week, Montana Gov. Greg Gianforte signed a bill banning TikTok in the state. Now, Williams, who lives near Montana’s largest city — Billings — is scrambling to figure out the future of her business.

“I’ve been trying to get some of the people over to Instagram in case something horrible does happen, where people suddenly can’t get to my TikTok,” she told CNN, “but I’m not really sure how it’s all going to work.”

Over the past year, lawmakers in Washington have ratcheted up their scrutiny of TikTok, with a growing number of Congress members calling for a national ban of the short-form video app due to concerns about its ties to China through its parent company, ByteDance.
https://www.cnn.com/2023/05/21/tech/montana-tiktok-users/index.html

No, but probably soon. Look, we get it – Montana is a bright red state and we don’t see it being flipped to blue anytime soon. But make no mistake that the GOP is looking to hurt Biden in any way possible and they’re setting their sites on Tik Tok – which a social media app that is very popular among the young people of the United States. And young people do not vote conservative. So conservatives think that if they take their toy away from them, it will turn the youth of America against the ruling party and then all hell will break loose. So yeah Montana is just a test bed for the kind of damage that the GOP could do to free speech. And isn’t it ironic that the people who are the ones to claim their freedom of speech rights are being trampled on are the first to enact laws prohibiting freedom of speech?

TikTok has filed a federal lawsuit against Montana after the state passed a law last week intended to ban the app from being downloaded within its borders.

The widely expected lawsuit argues that banning a hugely popular social media app amounts to an illegal suppression of free speech tantamount to censorship.

The Montana law "unlawfully abridges one of the core freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment," the suit claims.

Lawyers for Chinese-owned TikTok also argue that the national security threat raised by officials in Montana is not something that state officials can attempt to regulate, since foreign affairs and national security matters are a federal issue.

The suit seeks to have the Montana law, which has not gone into effect yet, overturned. Last week, TikTok creators filed the first challenge to the law, saying it violates free speech rights.
https://www.npr.org/2023/05/22/1177541355/tiktok-sues-lawsuit-montana-law-ban

So yeah if you can’t beat ‘em, sue ‘em! So you might be wondering – how is this ban going to be enforced if it’s on cell phones? Well, that is a very good question. The logistics of such a ban are completely insane and actually downright terrifying. Well, since they can’t individually police existing users, they’re going after the source themselves. Which in and of itself is completely reckless and unconstitutional, and the state of Montana can and most likely will get sued to shit over this, and it will probably go before SCOTUS. But make no mistake that the GOP’s CCP derangement syndrome is showing, and it will come back to bite them in the ass hard.

The law will prohibit downloads of TikTok in the state and fine any “entity” — an app store or TikTok — $10,000 per day for each time someone accesses, downloads or is offered the ability to access TikTok.

That means Apple and Google, which operate app stores on Apple and Android devices, would be liable for violations. Penalties would not apply to users.

The statewide ban would be void if the social media platform is sold to a company that is not based in a country designated as a foreign adversary.

Montana Attorney General Austin Knudsen has pointed to technology used to restrict online sports gambling apps as a way to curtail TikTok from operating in the state. Those violations can be reported by anyone. And once the state verifies a breach has taken place, it sends a cease-and-desist letter to the company involved, said Kyler Nerison, a spokesperson for Knudsen’s office.
https://apnews.com/article/tiktok-ban-montana-china-data-chinese-government-71143a3a87c9a0b692d927f72b6fec70

[font size="8"]CNN
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CNN, we need to have an intervention. What you’re doing right now ain’t working. In the last week, you let go of one of your key anchors, Don Lemon. And had that disastrous Trump Town Hall which has had the producers of the network absolutely seething. You’re clearly doing something wrong here. And what you’re doing wrong is – don’t fuck with Nazis! Period! OK? Stop it! Stop going down the alt right social media conspiracy theory wormhole! That shit is bad for you! It’s destroyed families. It’s turned friends against each other. It’s doing untold damage to this country that may take a century or more to repair and recover from it. And now CNN – once a liberal bastion and the centerpiece on how to correctly run a 24 hour a day cable news network – has since become a shell of its’ former self since new CEO Chris Licht took over and now they’re basically just another wannabe Fox News but with less conservative viewership.

Just days after CNN scored a rare first-place finish in prime time with its town hall session featuring former President Donald Trump, the network dropped into fourth place Friday night, trailing conservative network Newsmax. CNN delivered an average total audience of 335,000 viewers in prime Friday, just behind Newsmax’s 357,000 viewers. Fox News finished first in prime with 1.44 million viewers, and MSNBC was second overall with 1.084 million viewers.

Among viewers 25-54, the demographic group most valued by advertisers, CNN climbed to third place, with an average audience of 87,000 viewers. Fox News was first in the key demo with 109,000 viewers, followed by MSNBC (98,000 viewers). Newsmax was fourth with 45,000 viewers.

Each of CNN’s prime time hours trailed the competition on Newsmax Friday, with Anderson Cooper 360 delivering a total audience of 447,000 viewers at 8 p.m. ET, taking fourth place behind Fox News Channel’s Fox News Tonight (1.302 million viewers), MSNBC’s All In with Chris Hayes (1.076 million viewers), and Newsmax’s Eric Bolling (467,000 viewers). At 9 p.m. ET, FNC’s Hannity was first with 1.606 million viewers, followed by MSNBC’s Alex Wagner Tonight (1.207 million viewers), Newsmax’s Chris Plante (325,000 viewers) and CNN’s The Whole Story with Anderson Cooper (293,000 viewers).

At 10 p.m. ET, the pattern continued, with Fox News Channel’s The Ingraham Angle winning the hour with 1.413 million viewers, followed by The Last Word with Lawrence O’Donnell (969,000 viewers), Newsmax’s Greg Kelly Reports (278,000 viewers) and CNN’s Who’s Talking to Chris Wallace (263,000 viewers).

https://www.forbes.com/sites/markjoyella/2023/05/15/cnn-drops-to-fourth-place-in-prime-time-friday-night-behind-newsmax/?sh=c920ea94e8d6

Yeah so that happened. CNN is now officially worse than Newsmax. And I honestly didn’t think that was possible. No really, I didn’t see it coming. And the last thing we need on earth is more right wing republican bullshit polluting the airwaves. We already have way, way too much of it. Conservatives control 2,500 radio stations across the United States. They have a monopoly on small town, syndicated TV networks. They have Fox News, Newsmax, Infowars, and OAN. Now they’re coming after CNN because it’s a get revenge quick scheme for Donald Trump. They don’t need any more. MAGA conservatives are the “GIVE ME THAT! IT’S MINE!!!” party.

After hearing out Licht, Amanpour told the Columbia Journalism School graduates that she had not been moved.

“I still respectfully disagree with allowing Donald Trump to appear in that particular format,” the veteran anchor said, contending that the American people had demonstrated with their votes in the last three elections that they are well aware of his behavior.

“I would have dropped the mic at ‘nasty person,’ but then that’s me,” Amanpour candidly added, recounting the moment when Trump lashed out at moderator Kaitlan Collins for asking a question that he did not like.

Inside CNN, Amanpour is far from alone in her views. In private, the town hall has been widely criticized by employees at all levels across the organization. Some of these employees believe that Trump wasn’t worthy of a town hall platform after leading the insurrection on the US Capitol and continuing to spew dangerous lies about the 2020 election. Others believe that it was a worthy endeavor to confront him, but that the event was poorly executed.

........

https://www.cnn.com/2023/05/18/media/christiane-amanpour-trump-town-hall-reliable-sources/index.html

At leas t there’s some cooler heads prevailing at that network when the bosses have all lost their damn minds. Look, I’m a capitalist. I get that companies want to sell more product. But I also know that when you introduce too many similar products into an ecosystem, the value of that product goes down significantly. Make no mistake that the Trump Town Hall was a carefully targeted and weaponized political hit job that was designed to sow discourse in CNN and turn swing voters who would otherwise watch the network to extremist online news sources. No doubt Steve Bannon was behind this piece of clap trap.

Some light criticism of CNN's disaster by their media reporter. And no, doing "fact-checking" afterward on a show no one watched does not mitigate or justify the decision to give free air time to an evil criminal. Besides, as Tapper admitted, there wasn't enough time to fact check all the lies. If so, then why have him on in front of an admiring audience? Because of ratings for a failing network shift instigated by a repug owner and, more importantly, for that owner, changing the narrative to fit the desires of the oligarchs.

We'll see if this take gets Darcy fired, like they got rid of Brian Stelter.

snip

It’s hard to see how America was served by the spectacle of lies that aired on CNN Wednesday evening.

Trump’s team was, naturally, delighted with the result, according to reports. “Advisers to Trump are thrilled at how this is going so far for him,” The NYT’s Jonathan Swan reported. “They can’t believe he is getting an hour on CNN with an audience that cheers his every line and laughs at his every joke.”

Neither could anyone else.

https://www.cnn.com/2023/05/11/media/cnn-town-hall-donald-trump-reliable-sources/index.html

Now this is ironic – CNN’s own columnists are criticizing how disastrous the network has been under their new CEO. Look, we don’t need more conservative propaganda. If anything, there’s way, way, way too much of it. And this is just adding one more to the pile. But that being said, the remaining true liberal broadcast networks don’t want to go down the same wormhole that CNN did. Nope, because as we’ve seen, you don’t hang out with Nazis. These are very bad people. Look at what they did to people like Kanye West and Donald Trump. Now even the state of Florida is paying the price for hanging out with Nazis. So don’t go full Nazi. Never, ever go full Nazi. And once again, this is just handing another victory to the bad guys, as Fox wins again.

CNN had its lowest-rated week in more than seven years last week, as the network’s ratings struggles continue. For the week ending March 12, CNN had an average weekday audience of 409,000 viewers, the lowest total day (6 a.m. to 6 a.m. ET) ratings performance since the week of July 6, 2015. Fox News Channel won the week with 1.359 million viewers, followed by MSNBC (673,000 viewers).

Among viewers 25-54, the demographic group most valued by advertisers, CNN’s total day ratings delivery was 81,000 viewers—which represents the lowest rated week in the key demo since 2014. Fox News won the week with an average audience of 172,000 viewers, and MSNBC was third overall with 71,000 viewers.

Fox News Channel’s Tucker Carlson Tonight was the highest-rated show in cable news for the week, with an average total audience of 3.568 million viewers, followed by The Five (3.077 million viewers), Jesse Watters Primetime (2.695 million viewers), Hannity (2.645 million viewers) and Special Report with Bret Baier (2.266 million viewers)—all airing on the Fox News Channel.

In the key demo, Tucker Carlson Tonight was first with 469,000 viewers, followed by The Five (330,000 viewers), Hannity (317,000 viewers), Jesse Watters Primetime (277,000 viewers) and Special Report with Bret Baier (245,000 viewers).
https://www.forbes.com/sites/markjoyella/2023/03/14/cnns-ratings-woes-continue-as-network-has-its-lowest-rated-week-in-more-than-7-years/?sh=4b70747110a6

[font size="8"]We’re All Gonna Die: Climate Change Catastrophe
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Hey everyone, guess what? We’re all gonna die! Wooooooooooooooooooooo! Wooooooooooooooo! Wooooooooo. Woooo. Woo. Woo. So what’ s going to kill us all this week? Well, it’s climate change and things don’t exactly look, what one would call, particularly good. In fact it’s pretty bad. But now the UN apparently has a date for when things will go from bad to “shit hits the fan”. Yes, clean that shit up now, please! So the date when things could go from bad to potentially catastrophic for us is around the year 2030. That’s right, we’ve got… 7 years to get ready. Better start packing your shit now, folks. But you know, we kid, but we can’t overlook the fact that if we don’t change things, a whole lot of us are going to die because of this. Hey, that’s the name of this segment! So, audience, just how bad is it? HOW BAD IS IT? Well, if the earth passes the 1.5’C threshold as set by the UN, that is when the proverbial shit is going to hit the fan. And unlike what we recently experienced with COVID-19, there’s no vaccine that’s going to prevent people from dying because of climate change. And the effects of the 1.5’C threshold might be irreversible. Good evening, everybody!

The world is now likely to breach a key climate threshold for the first time within the next five years, according to the World Meteorological Organization, due to a combination of heat-trapping pollution and a looming El Niño.

Global temperatures have soared in recent years as the world continues to burn planet-warming fossil fuels like coal, oil and gas. And that trend shows no sign of slowing. In its annual climate update, the WMO said that between 2023 and 2027, there is now a 66% chance that the planet’s temperature will climb above 1.5 degrees Celsius of warming above pre-industrial levels for at least one year.

As temperatures surge, there is also a 98% likelihood that at least one of the next five years – and the five-year period as a whole – will be the warmest on record for the planet, the WMO reported.

Breaching the 1.5-degree threshold may only be temporary, the WMO said, but it would be the clearest signal yet of how quickly climate change is accelerating – hastening sea level rise, more extreme weather and the demise of vital ecosystems.
https://www.cnn.com/2023/05/17/world/global-warming-breach-wmo-climate-intl/index.html

Yeah it’s not “we’re all gonna die” bad, but it’s pretty bad, and it doesn’t seem to be getting any better any time soon. And the thing that makes this worse is that Fox News has spent the last 25 years saying that climate change is no big deal. And if it seems like it’s getting hotter, it is. There’s no denying that the overpopulation of this country, combined with the lack of resources needed to support the overpopulation, and the fact that over half this country doesn’t seem to give a shit that a lot of people are going die, and that’s going to result in a toxic nightmare.

It is near certain that the next five years will be the warmest period ever recorded, the United Nations has warned, as greenhouse gases and El Nino combine to send temperatures soaring.

For the first time, global temperatures are now more likely than not to breach 1.5 degrees Celsius (2.7 degrees Fahrenheit) of warming until 2027, the World Meteorological Organization said on Wednesday.

But that did not necessarily mean the world would cross the long-term warming threshold of 1.5C above pre-industrial levels set out in the 2015 Paris Agreement.

The WMO found that an El Nino weather pattern expected to develop in the next few months could have an effect.

The cooling La Nina conditions over the past three years, which ended in March 2023, have restricted the rise in global temperatures.
https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2023/5/17/global-warming-likely-to-breach-1-5c-threshold-for-first-time

Yeah so people, wake up and stop fucking around! Fox News viewers, you’ve been lied to by Sean Hannity and that Greg Gutfeld asshole, stop watching that shit, it is bad for you! Remember during COVID how people told you to “trust the science”? Well, the science is real and it’s there, and it’s telling us that we need to make significant changes to our way of life or we’ll risk losing everything. Of course as we speak, the dark corners of the internet are probably formulating plans on how to kill large numbers of people through memeing them to death. Well, I mean hey, we saw the damage the meme wars could do during COVID. Imagine what will happen here.

Unprecedented global temperature rises will likely see the Paris Agreement’s 1.5 degrees Celsius (2.6 degrees Fahrenheit) threshold breached at some point in the next five years, a United Nations (U.N.) report predicts.

The U.N.'s World Meteorological Organization (WMO) gave the stark warning in its latest annual assessment. According to the WMO, there is a 66% chance that annual mean global surface temperatures will temporarily breach the threshold of a 1.5C rise above pre-industrial levels. This would be the first time in human history that such a rise had been recorded.

Scientists have warned that crossing the 1.5C threshold greatly increases the risks of encountering tipping points that could unleash irreversible climate breakdown — such as the collapse of the Greenland and West Antarctic ice sheets; extreme heat waves; severe droughts; water stress; and extreme weather across large parts of the globe.

Related: Significant El Niño event is almost guaranteed this year, experts warn. And it could be a big one.

Around 200 countries pledged to limit global temperature rises to 1.5C or under in the 2015 Paris Agreement. Now, even if just temporarily, that limit could be breached for the first time.
https://www.livescience.com/planet-earth/climate-change/global-warming-will-likely-cross-dangerous-15-c-threshold-within-5-years-un-report-warns

Yeah so 200 countries are already signed on board with this measure to stop it. Of course the MAGAs would laugh at this and call you a globalist-enabling pedophile just for bringing it up. Who knew that the end of humanity would boil down to four simple words? But yes, it is getting hotter in here, and no, it’s not just you. It really is getting hotter in here, and there may be no going back. We may have to live with the extreme heat for the foreseeable future, and don’t say we didn’t warn you. Because we are warning you now! We need to work together to save the planet. Do not be distracted by the shiny objects on Fox News every single night!

For the first time in human history, the Earth’s average temperature is more likely than not to cross a critical warming threshold during at least one of the next five years, per a new report released Wednesday by the World Meteorological Organization (WMO).

Scientists now predict the Earth has a 66 percent chance of hitting 1.5 degrees Celsius (2.7 degrees Fahrenheit) of warming over pre-industrial levels between now and 2027—and a 98 percent chance of the five-year period as a whole being the hottest on record.

1.5 degrees Celsius is a key climate threshold. In the Paris agreement of 2015, nations agreed to “pursue efforts” to cap long-term warming at that amount. Scientists warned of dire consequences if this is exceeded, including extreme storms, coral reef die-offs, melting ice, flooding, heat waves and drought.

“This report does not mean that we will permanently exceed the 1.5C specified in the Paris agreement, which refers to long-term warming over many years,” WMO Secretary-General Petteri Taalas says in a statement. “However, WMO is sounding the alarm that we will breach the 1.5C level on a temporary basis with increasing frequency.”
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/the-next-five-years-will-almost-certainly-be-the-warmest-on-record-un-says-180982200/

[font size="8"]Holy Shit: Mormon Finance Apocalypse
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Hey everyone it’s time for another one of our Clips Without Context!

Yeah I can totally hear Jesus right now saying “leave me the fuck out of this!!!”. Speaking of Jesus, hey, it’s time for Holy Shit!

Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! Please be seated! You know, this is the end of our season, and I’d like to take a moment to address the clergy on a recent controversy of ours. It seems we’ve got a lot of unfair criticism lately that suggests that we spend most of our time talking about Christianity. Now, Christianity is the dominant religion in the United States, and as such, it dominates the news. But the thing that we’re most alarmed about is the rise of white nationalism dominating American Christianity and American megachurches. But that’s not what we’re here to discuss this week. This week, we’re here to discuss another very uniquely American religion – Mormonism. Yes, the religion founded by Joseph Smith in the 1850s is famously ultra conservative, which means that they most likely support the Unholy Dark One. Many counties in Utah went for the Dark One in the last election. But the Mormon church also practices something called “tithing” which means that its’ members contribute whatever it can to the church. We don’t support that sort of thing here, but you can buy our merchandise after the show! Well now the church has so much money that they don’t know what to do with it! I wish we had that problem!

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints' finances faced renewed scrutiny Sunday when CBS aired an interview with a whistleblower who alleges the church tried to hide billions of dollars and violated its tax-exempt status.

What they’re saying: The church's former investment adviser David Nielsen described on "60 Minutes" the religious body's investment portfolio as "a clandestine hedge fund."

"Those funds weren't used the way they were appropriated to be used. … Well, once the money went in, it didn't go out," he added.

Why it matters: Although Nielsen's allegations had already been widely publicized, the high-profile TV show's segment could hurt the church's public image.

A church leader repeatedly refused to answer questions from CBS' Sharyn Alfonsi during the segment on how much money it has and hesitated when asked why the church is secretive about its finances.
https://www.axios.com/2023/05/15/mormon-whistleblower-60-minutes-church-finances

Now don’t boo – wait until you hear that everything is tax exempt! Now you can boo as much as you want, come on don’t be shy! Let it out! Because that’s what the good LAWRD JAYSUS would want you to do now, isn’t it? But when the church’s own investment firm has so much money that they don’t know what to do with it all, naturally there’s going to be some problems that arise as a result. So tithing is a pretty terrible practice in general. But when you combine tithing with America’s religious exemption where churches don’t have to pay taxes on anything, then it becomes a very serious problem! If only we taxed churches!

A whistleblower from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints appeared on 60 Minutes to discuss the alleged misuse of church finances on Sunday, May 14.

In 2019, David Nielsen, a former employee of the church’s investment firm Ensign Peak Advisors, claimed the misuse of billions of dollars in tithes — $100 billion to be exact.

On the CBS 60 Minutes show, Nielsen said he turned down an opportunity on Wall Street to work for Ensign Peak because he wanted to help “change the world.”

However he said instead of seeing charity work as he had anticipated, he saw “a clandestine hedge fund,” saying, “once the money went in, it didn’t go out.”

Nielsen explained the church receives around $7 billion yearly from tithing, $6 billion of which is used to pay for buildings and church programs. The remaining $1 billion goes to the investment firm, Ensign Peak.
https://www.abc4.com/news/local-news/church-of-jesus-christ-of-latter-day-saints-whistleblower-speaks-60-minutes-alleged-misuse-tithing-funds/

Of course, you know that the people who have this much money aren’t going to use it for good, and you know that they’re not being entirely honest about how much they make or spend. But this scandal definitely gets weirder the more you dig into it, and it definitely shows what a glorious and complete lack of accountability does. It also shows that maybe giving churches tax exempt status was one of the worst ideas in US history! When you have so much money that you don’t know what to do with it all, don’t you think that it’s time you start paying your fair share? It is way past time to end the free ride for the holier than thou crowd!

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has drastically overstated its charitable giving, according to an investigation by Canadian and Australian media outlets.

Driving the news: In its public statements, the church has claimed more than $1 billion in charitable giving, the investigation found.

Yes, but: The church's charity arm, Latter-day Saint Charities, gave just $177 million from 2008 to 2020, according to financial records obtained by The Sydney Morning Herald, The Age, 60 Minutes, and the CBC.

Details: Other findings have raised legal concerns in Australia, where religious donations are not tax-exempt, but charitable donations are.

Donations to the church still get tax exemption because it routes its Australian contributions through a charitable trust.
https://www.axios.com/local/salt-lake-city/2022/11/02/mormon-finances-scrutiny-australia-canada

So let’s think about this here for a minute. The church started a shadow corporation but it’s really based in Utah under the guise of laundering money because it was making way more than it could spend. Hey US government, do you see where this is a problem? Imagine that money being taxed and the programs that it could fund! I mean think about it - $100 BILLION DOLLARS. That’s a very spicy meatball! And the people who are profiting off of this don’t represent the forces of good. They represent the unholy, ungodly Dark One! I of course speak of a man so foul and disgusting that his name dare not be spoken in my church! But of course you do not heed our warnings! Tax the churches! And do it now! We might make enough money to avoid the debt ceiling!

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and its investment manager will pay a $5 million fine to settle regulatory charges that it hid a huge investment fund.

The Securities and Exchange Commission said Tuesday that Ensign Peak Advisers, the investment management firm that handles the LDS church’s finances, failed to file forms that would have disclosed the value of certain church investments. Instead, the firm filed forms for shell companies that obscured the church’s portfolio and misstated the firm’s control over the church’s investment decisions, the SEC said.

The SEC filed charges against both the church for causing the violations as well as Ensign Peak.

The LDS church was concerned that disclosure of its portfolio, which by 2018 had grown to approximately $32 billion, would lead to negative consequences, the SEC said.
https://www.cnn.com/2023/02/21/business/mormon-church-fined-sec/index.html

All right, folks! That’s it for us, we’re out of here for the summer. We’ll be back on July 20th with fresh shenanigans from our religious brothers and sisters! Also don’t forget, Holy Shit: The Sunday Sermons season 2 premiers Sunday, August 11th! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this season for:

[font size="8"]People Who Somehow Got Elected: Tommy Tuberville
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Politicians at the state, local, and national levels who are so terrible and toxic, you wonder how they’re able to get away with the things that they get away with. This is:

This week: Alabama senator Tommy Tuberville (Q – Batshit). How in the ever loving hell did this guy get elected? Well, Fox News, that’s how. Tuberville is an obvious by-product of the Fox News fearmongering and mental conditioning system. Well, he watches Fox News 24 hours a day, and eats, sleeps, and breathes MAGA, which makes him the ideal candidate for the MAGA cause. In case you’re wondering if Tuberville has any actual experience doing any real world governing, well, he doesn’t. And the MAGAs will turn out in droves to vote for Washington outsiders. And only in the MAGA party can a guy who knows nothing about government get elected to one of the highest offices in the land to do as much damage as humanly possible. Tuberville’s qualifications for running for office are… he has none. He was a football coach for the University Of Cincinnati, and not a very good one. He then went to Auburn where he won an NCAA championship. That’s about it. But his time at Cincinnati is considered to be extremely sketchy at best, and word is that he treated his players very horribly.

A former University of Cincinnati football player says athletes who were coached by Tommy Tuberville deserve some kind of "reparations."

Zach Edwards, a Middletown High School grad who was named All-American Athletic Conference Honorable Mention in 2015 while playing safety at UC, tweeted about the Alabama senator Thursday.

Edwards quote-tweeted a Rolling Stone Politics article about Tuberville's recent comments regarding white nationalists in the United States military.

"Okay hear me out, there needs to be some type of reparations for those who had to play under this man," Edwards wrote. "I don’t think y’all understand…"

In the comments, a Twitter user asked for a "story time about (the) terrible Tommy Tuberville era."
https://sports.yahoo.com/uc-football-alum-tuberville-era-185433583.html

Yes, Tuberville was such a terrible coach that players think that they should deserve some kind of monetary settlement because of that. So how does that translate into his ability to be a senator from Alabama? Well, it doesn’t really. Because Tuberville is one of those southern “Good Ol’ Boys” who are racist as fuck. And Tuberville actually supports white nationalism. In fact, he supports white nationalism so much that he’s willing to look the other way on white nationalists in the military. Yes, he is technically correct that white nationalists are Americans, but these are not the people we want representing us in any way. In fact, we fought two wars against this sort of thing.

U.S. Sen. Tommy Tuberville of Alabama said there should be no efforts to block different ideological groups, including white nationalists, from serving in the military and criticized President Joe Biden for taking steps to remove them even as concerns about extremism in the military dates back to the Trump administration.

Tuberville, a staunch supporter of the military and a member of the Senate Armed Services Committee, made the comments in a Monday interview with WBHM, a National Public Radio station in Birmingham.

Asked if he believed white nationalists should be allowed to serve in the military, Tuberville said in referring to the Biden administration, “They call them that. I call them Americans.

Tuberville also said in the interview that singling out any ideological group is detrimental to the military.

“We are losing in the military so fast,” Tuberville told WBHM. “Our readiness in terms of recruitment. And why? I’ll tell you why, because the Democrats are attacking our military, saying we need to get out the white extremists, the white nationalists, people that don’t believe in our agenda, as Joe Biden’s agenda. They’re destroying it. This year, we will not reach any recruiting goals in the military. So if we want to talk about looking weak, that’s where we’re going to look weak. We cannot start putting rules in there for one type, one group and make different factions in the military, because that is the most important institution in the United States of America, and our allies, is a strong, hard-nosed, killing machine, which is called our military.”

https://www.al.com/news/2023/05/tuberville-on-white-nationalists-in-the-military-i-call-them-americans.html

Yes, tell us you don’t know anything about the United States military without telling me you don’t know anything about the United States military. By the way, Tuberville doesn’t quite get how the military works because he apparently is holding back promotions for military staff if they don’t cave into his abortion demands. That’s correct – the Fox News culture wars that have been permeating every single last crevasse of the United States over the last 20 years have now begun to affect the military in very strange ways. And we can thank “Senator” Tuberville for this one. Yes, we put the word “senator” in quotation marks because whatever Tuberville is representing certainly isn’t us.

Dozens of military promotions continue to languish in the Senate as GOP Sen. Tommy Tuberville digs in on blocking typically routine approvals over his opposition to the Pentagon's abortion policy.

About 200 defense-related promotions are awaiting Senate action, but Tuberville has indicated he has no plans to ease up on his blockade unless the Defense Department reverses course on an abortion policy for service members and their dependents that was announced in October.

Since March, Tuberville has been using a procedural tactic to slow promotions that are often quickly approved in the Senate by unanimous consent. One senator’s objection, however, can stall the approval process.

The Alabama senator’s moves have provoked bipartisan backlash, including from Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, R-Ky. Asked in a press conference Wednesday about Tuberville’s holds, McConnell replied, “No, I don’t support putting a hold on military nominations. I don’t support that.”
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/congress/military-promotions-impasse-drags-sen-tuberville-digs-rcna84175

That’s about what being a player under Tuberville was like, by the way. And with the republicans increasingly warming up to the idea of fascism in America, what is the next logical step for MAGA Q republicans like Tuberville? They want to simply suspend elections. That’s right – no elections for anyone, because conservatives can’t handle being in a real democracy. And of course, when their ideas backfire on them, they turn to Fox News and other extremely terrible right wing sources because that’s their safe space. Once again, Fox News proves to be the reason why we can’t have nice things, and won’t be getting them any time soon.

Alabama Sen. Tommy Tuberville (R-AL) offered his reaction on Tuesday to the report from Special Counsel John Durham and declared the alleged targeting of Donald Trump to be so enraging that Americans should say, “Let’s don’t have elections anymore.”

Tuberville appeared on Newsmax’s John Bachman Now and was shown a clip from defense attorney Alan Dershowitz discussing the Durham report with Greta Van Susteren from the day before.

“I think the Durham report demonstrates that from the very beginning, these people were prepared to distort the facts, distort the law for partisan, political purposes, for what they thought was the legitimate goal. Get Trump,” Dershowitz said about the report, which summarized Durham’s investigation into the origins of the probe examining potential ties between Trump and Russia.

“I mean, that’s all this was. They just did not like the fact that a political outsider had a legitimate shot at becoming president of the United States. One of the other things, too, from the report that stands out is that they continued this after President Trump was elected. What’s your response?” John Bachman asked Tuberville.
https://www.mediaite.com/politics/lets-dont-have-elections-anymore-alabama-senator-rages-about-durham-report-findings-demands-people-go-to-jail/

That’s the Fox News installed senator from Alabama and self-proclaimed white nationalist fan Tommy Tuberville. Yet another one of the inexplicably vile politicians to add to the ever growing list of:

[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner
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Hey it’s time for another one of our Clips Without Context!

There you have it, folks. The craziest person ever elected to Congress laughing it up with known white nationalists. You can’t make this shit up. Speaking of crazy, it’s time for Conspiracy Corner!

Welcome back to our segment that attempts to explain the unexplainable, Conspiracy Corner! Of course conspiracies exist when people simply don’t want to read the article past the headlines and just flat out make shit up. We of course are coming to you live from our underground doomsday shelter from deep within the New Mexico badlands. Undisclosed location, of course! Let me just adjust my trusty tin foil hat for maximum government interference. Ah, there we go! They are trying to read yours and my thoughts after all! So as we know, that guy who we inexplicably used to call president, Donald J. Trump, got his ass handed to him in court over the E. Jean Carroll lawsuit. So what’s a good bully to do after he gets his ass kicked time and time again? Well, naturally you deflect. And so he’s instructed his minions in Congress and the Senate to launch an investigation into… Hillary Clinton. That’s right, the former First Lady and New York Senator, who’s been the subject of 100,000,000 investigations over the last 20 years by conservatives, is the subject of yet another investigation. Come on, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me 100,000,000 times… also shame on you.

In the wake of John Durham’s largely pointless special counsel investigation, some Republicans’ thoughts turned immediately to a familiar name from the recent past. “The Russian hoax was a figment of Hillary Clinton’s imagination,” Sen. Marsha Blackburn declared within hours of Durham’s report reaching the public.

In reality, of course, the far-right Tennessean’s comment was absurd: The Russia scandal obviously wasn’t a “hoax,” and Clinton wasn’t responsible for exposing it. In fact, as a Washington Post analysis explained last week, given all of the available evidence, there’s now “even less reason to blame Clinton“ for the investigation into the controversy.

But Blackburn’s comment was a timely reminder that the former secretary of State remains very much on Republicans’ minds. Indeed, just yesterday, Fox News’ Maria Bartiromo interviewed House Judiciary Committee Chairman Jim Jordan, and the host asked the Ohio Republican whether he wants to see “another investigation” into Clinton. He didn’t say no.
https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/maddowblog/jim-jordan-doesnt-rule-yet-another-hillary-clinton-probe-rcna85533

I feel like that’s too much tin foil. But this whole thing really highlights the differences between the two parties. Because conservatives are dominated by far right talk shows, even further right podcasts, and even further right than that megachurch pastors. It’s basically just a toxic stew of racists and conspiracy theorists. Remember the good old days when conspiracy theories were about Bigfoot and Area 51 and we used to mock the hell out of them because we knew these guys were crazy? Well, we know these guys are crazy, but they’re protected by a massive and far reaching propaganda network.

House Judiciary Chairman Jim Jordan, R-Ohio, said he is open to investigating former President Bill Clinton and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton in response to the release of special counsel John Durham's report.

Durham, who failed to secure a single conviction in his yearslong probe of the FBI's investigation into Trump's 2016 campaign's ties to Russia, last week released a report that contained little new information and was widely panned by legal experts as a partisan "flop."

Though the report found similar concerns as the 2019 inspector general report that already addressed the flaws in the FBI probe, Trump and his allies have touted the report as evidence that the bureau was biased against Trump.

"Do you want to see another investigation of Hillary and Bill Clinton?" Fox News host Maria Bartiromo asked Jordan during a Sunday interview. "Because in the Durham report, John Durham wrote that while they were pursuing Trump, they made no effort to investigate the claim that Hillary Clinton was taking money from foreigners for her Clinton Global Initiative and the Clinton Foundation," Bartiromo said.
https://www.salon.com/2023/05/22/nothing-is-off-the-table-jim-jordan-says-hell-give-a-hard-look-at-launching-new-hillary-probe/

OK Rupert, it’s time we ask this question – where on this doll did Hillary Clinton hurt you? Because this is certifiably insane. Of course conservatives are going to say that any answer that that isn’t 100% in favor of the fascists is the wrong answer. But how can they say that when Russian collusion is everywhere in the GOP? GOP representatives have vacationed in Moscow. MAGA conservatives exchange messages on Telegram, which is operated on Russian servers. It’s like how murderers get off when they go judge shopping and watch the same talk shows that the judges do. Yeah like that guy.

Sean Hannity and his Fox News colleagues spent years furiously defending Donald Trump by denouncing special counsel Robert Mueller’s federal probe of Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election as a witch hunt. They promised that prosecutor John Durham would expose its origins as a criminal conspiracy that reached the highest levels of the Obama administration. Now that four-year investigation is now closed after Durham failed to garner prison time for a single person — but Hannity is still crowing that he’s been proved right.

“Every single thing that we reported to you on this program, we were correct. We've been vindicated time and again, especially today,” Hannity said at the top of his show on Monday, hours after Durham released his final report. He added that Durham showed the Russia probe “looks more like an attempted coup, a nearly three-year-running political smear job against Donald J. Trump, all orchestrated by Democrats with the help of the DOJ and the FBI and, of course, the never-ending lies of the media mob.”

Others on Fox offered similarly over-the-top responses that fell well short of the facts, with commentators denouncing the FBI as “the Stasi” and “a domestic terror organization.”

Hannity is perhaps the single figure most responsible for the Durham probe. The Fox host turned his show into the fulcrum of Fox’s anti-Mueller propaganda effort and issued constant calls for an investigation of the investigators, which caught Trump’s Fox-obsessed eye. Trump’s own reelection campaign even credited Hannity with the launch of Durham’s investigation. But it’s easy to make broad conspiracy claims for your Fox show, and much harder to prove them in a courtroom.
https://www.mediamatters.org/fox-news/durham-report-and-inevitable-end-foxs-anti-mueller-farce

Gee, why am I not shocked at all that Sean Hannity is behind this? Fox seems intent on beating this dead horse into the ground. And they won’t be satisfied with any answer that isn’t 100% in favor of the cult, because that’s what the cult wants. The cult wants what the cult wants. Yes, we know that the answer from the Durham report wasn’t what we wanted to hear. But unlike the right, we’re not a bunch of deranged sociopaths. We will just shrug it off and move onto their next abomination. As long as Fox News is still around, you can bet that we’ll be subjected to scandal after scandal. Because peace, prosperity, and rule of law isn’t good for ratings. And of course the process is broken, because conservatives are the ones who broke it!

John Durham has at long last released his report on the FBI’s 2016 Russia probe, which conservative conspiracy theorists once anticipated would expose a “deep state” scheme to undermine then-candidate Donald Trump. But, despite some commentators’ efforts to portray the actual result of the four-year investigation as damning, the reality is that the Justice Department special counsel uncovered next to nothing.

When then-Attorney General William P. Barr appointed Mr. Durham to investigate the investigators of Trump-Russia ties, Mr. Barr appeared determined to uncover a vast plot on the part of government officials who could be criminally prosecuted for their misdeeds. Instead, Mr. Barr’s handpicked special counsel confirmed only what the public already learned in a previous report from Justice Department Inspector General Michael E. Horowitz.

The upshot: There were flaws in the FBI’s handling of the matter, especially involving dubious Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA) applications to surveil 2016 Trump adviser Carter Page, but they flowed from confirmation bias rather than politically motivated misconduct. Though Mr. Durham continues to disagree that it was appropriate for the FBI to open a full investigation, rather than a preliminary one, he makes no finding that doing so was prohibited under agency rules. There was no involvement by the CIA, National Security Agency or any other snoops. And there is no reason to send anyone to prison. Indeed, the special counsel faced two acquittals in the cases he developed and a guilty plea resulting from a referral by the Justice Department’s inspector general.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2023/05/16/durham-trump-russia-report/

[font size="8"]I Need A Drink: Taco Bell Vs Taco Tuesday
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Hey everyone, I don’t know about you, but I could really use a drink!

So of course you know by now that the idea of this segment is that we have some drinks, and while we are drinking, we talk about literally anything in the news as long as it doesn’t relate to politics. Because there’s a lot of really dark shit out there, and we always find that mixing booze and politics never ends well for anybody. And we like our booze, beer, and wine here! And my sober brothers and sisters, we got you covered too! Grab a glass of your favorite coffee or energy drink and get wired with us! So this week, there’s a war brewing over who coined the phrase “Taco Tuesday”. Everyone knows and loves a good Taco Tuesday. Hell it’s practically engraved in American culture at this point. So tell me, bartender, what goes well with a story about Taco Tuesday? A margarita? OK, I’ll have the classic one, with a good reposado tequila. On the rocks. So this week, there’s some fighting going on about who originally coined the phrase “Taco Tuesday”. And this is one of those stories that gets weirder the more that you dig into it. It started because that purveyor of the cheap taco, Taco Bell, had questions about whether or not the phrase Taco Tuesday could be trademarked or not. And we say “good luck with that one!”.

Taco Bell wants to liberate the “Taco Tuesday” trademark from a smaller, rival chain.

The taco chain filed a petition Tuesday (naturally) with the US Patent and Trademark office to cancel the trademark, owned by rival Taco John’s for 34 years, because Taco Bell claims the commonly used phrase “should be freely available to all who make, sell, eat and celebrate tacos.”

Since Taco John’s owns the trademark, other restaurants and companies must seek permission to use “Taco Tuesday” in branding and advertising.

The use of the phrase “potentially subjects Taco Bell and anyone else who wants to share tacos with the world to the possibility of legal action or angry letters if they say ‘Taco Tuesday’ without express permission from [Taco John’s] — simply for pursuing happiness on a Tuesday,” the filing said.

Taco Bell added that “nobody should have exclusive rights in a common phrase.”
https://www.cnn.com/2023/05/16/business/taco-tuesday-trademark-taco-bell/index.html

Come on really, has anyone actually eaten at Taco John’s? Well, I guess not because there’s only six of them in the entire country. Whereas there’s thousands of Taco Bell locations in the greater United States and parts beyond. I mean come on, there was even a Taco Bell themed hotel in Palm Springs, how about that, Taco John’s? And by the way in case you’re wondering where the idea of Taco Tuesday originated from, it goes back to the year 1989 when a place in Cheyenne, Wyoming called Taco John’s coined it as a way to drive up sales. But even then, the US government claims to have a trademark from a restaurant in Somers Point, New Jersey called Gregory’s Restaurant & Bar, that claims to have coined the term back in 1982.

When the owners of the Old Fashioned Tavern and Restaurant received a cease and desist letter demanding they stop holding Taco Tuesdays, they thought it was a joke.

For almost a decade, the restaurant had sold $2 tacos on Tuesday night. Other restaurants and bars in the area had similar promotions, and in cities like San Francisco and Los Angeles, Taco Tuesday specials are as plentiful as yoga classes.

But the author of the letter claimed that “Taco Tuesday” was a federally registered trademark that belonged to Taco John’s, a chain of around 400 Mexican-style fast food restaurants. And as Old Fashioned manager Jennifer DeBolt told the local Cap Times, they quickly realized that “the law firm is completely legit.”

So, like hundreds of restaurant owners and managers who have received letters from Taco John’s lawyers in the last two decades, they stopped using the term Taco Tuesday.

“Over the years we’ve certainly asserted our trademark against national companies, restaurants big and small, and even pharmaceutical companies,” says Billie Jo Waara, the chief marketing officer at Taco John’s. (Waara can’t reveal details, but we suspect the pharmaceutical company used “Taco Tuesday” in a drug ad.) “We also recognize that the unauthorized use [of Taco Tuesday] is prolific, and we do our best to communicate ownership. It’s a challenge for sure.”
https://priceonomics.com/the-trademarking-of-taco-tuesday/

So the moral of the story here is that Taco John’s is a small time taco chain, but you don’t want to end up on their naughty list. They may be small, but they do have an army of some very powerful lawyers at their disposal. Hell, just ask Lakers star LeBron James about this story as he attempted to trademark Taco Tuesday back in 2019 and it backfired on him about as well as you’d expect. But it did get a dialogue going – can you trademark a commonly used term? Well, there is Taco John’s, and they have something that LeBron doesn’t – the corporate lawyer. And a huge team of them.

Los Angeles Lakers star LeBron James' attempt to trademark the term "Taco Tuesday" has been denied, but according to James' team, he still accomplished the outcome he wanted from the application in the first place.

The U.S. Patent and Trademark Office on Wednesday refused the application filed by James' company LBJ Trademarks, explaining that "Taco Tuesday" is "a commonplace term."

"The applied-for mark is a commonplace term, message, or expression widely used by a variety of sources that merely conveys an ordinary, familiar, well-recognized concept or sentiment message," the USPTO wrote.

A spokesman for James told ESPN's Dave McMenamin that the application was filed "to ensure LeBron cannot be sued for any use of 'Taco Tuesday.'"

"Finding 'Taco Tuesday' as commonplace achieves precisely what the intended outcome was, which was getting the U.S. government to recognize that someone cannot be sued for its use," the spokesman said.
https://www.espn.com/nba/story/_/id/27596576/lebron-taco-tuesday-trademark-filing-denied

Now that has us wondering why LeBron was attempting to trademark Taco Tuesday. But that being said, this is a fight that isn’t going away any time soon. Taco John’s may have corporate lawyers, but Taco Bell has multi-national enterprise lawyers. And a multi-national conglomerate like Taco Bell asking a much smaller chain to give up a trademark is like asking the government to take over a private business district – oh wait, that’s already happening in Florida. But the war on who will get control over who gets to eat their tacos on Taco Tuesday will be raging on for quite some time. Yes, I realize that phrase did sound poorly now that I think about it!

Declaring a mission to liberate “Taco Tuesday” for all, Taco Bell is asking U.S. regulators to force Wyoming-based Taco John’s to abandon its longstanding claim to the trademark.

Too many businesses and others refer to “Taco Tuesday” for Taco John’s to be able to have exclusive rights to the phrase, Taco Bell asserts in a U.S. Patent and Trademark Office filing that is, of course, dated Tuesday.

It’s the latest development in a long-running beef over “Taco Tuesday” that even included NBA star LeBron James making an unsuccessful attempt to claim the trademark in 2019.

“Taco Bell believes ‘Taco Tuesday’ is critical to everyone’s Tuesday. To deprive anyone of saying ‘Taco Tuesday’ — be it Taco Bell or anyone who provides tacos to the world — is like depriving the world of sunshine itself,” the Taco Bell filing reads.

A key question is whether “Taco Tuesday” over the years has succumbed to “genericide,” New York trademark law attorney Emily Poler said. That’s the term for when a word or phrase become so widely used for similar products — or in this case, sales promotions — they’re no longer associated with the trademark holder.
https://apnews.com/article/taco-tuesday-trademark-taco-bell-911e62f2dc664c2a428c6741a94955e5

[font size="8"]Stupidest State 2023: The Championship
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Let’s do one last Clip Without Context before we head out for the season!

Ha ha ha… fucking what??? These people are off the rails batshit crazy. Trump is nothing like Martin Luther. Just… AH!!!! Get me away from these crazy lunatics! And now it’s time for what you’ve all been waiting for: The 2023 Stupidest State Championships!

16 states will enter and only one state will become the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Wow, folks! Here we are! IT ALL COMES DOWN TO THIS! It’s the Stupidest State 2023 grand championships! Last week, it was a Final Four for the ages! Florida rose above a very strong challenge from the young and capable Ohio team to secure their Flyover League title. Meanwhile, over in the Layover League – this happened. Missouri for three… IT’S IN!!!! Missouri has shocked the crowd and sent Tennessee home and they are going to the Finals! So here we are. Florida. Missouri. One of these two will win it all. We are live from the home of champions, the Los Angeles Lakers and Kings, the legendary Staples Center in downtown Los Angeles with all of the exciting action! Let’s go to the floor, shall we?

[font size="4"]Stupidest State 2023 Championship [/font]

[font size="2"]Florida [/font]

The Sunshine State has been dominating the news this year, and that’s mainly because of its’ leader Ron Desantis, seems bent on bringing some old school fascism to the United States. Despite the fact that Florida is home to some world class universities, they’re also home to some of the ugliest political strife in the entire country. Let’s look at their Department of Education. Which is currently warning us about what’s to come should the GOP get back into power in 2024. In fact DeSantis’ brand of authoritarianism is the stuff of pure evil. And we have been trying to tell you about this, and half the country isn’t either listening or they just plain don’t care. But make no mistake that unless we say no to DeSantis in 2024, Florida’s brand of fire and brimstone fascism is just the beginning.

A Florida educators group said on Wednesday that Gov. Ron DeSantis’s (R) “authoritarian” policies would destroy U.S. public schools, as the Florida governor gears up to announce his bid for the presidency.

“Gov. DeSantis’ policies have been counter to core American principles,” Andrew Spar, president of the Florida Education Association, told the Tallahassee Democrat. “He has attacked free thought in Florida’s preK-12 schools, colleges and universities with laws that limit instruction and safe learning environments for students.”

Education has been a focus of DeSantis’s “anti-woke” push in the Sunshine state. The Florida governor signed the Parental Rights in Education Act, dubbed “Don’t Say Gay” by its opponents, into law last year, barring classroom instruction on gender identity and sexual orientation for kindergarten through third grade.

It was expanded earlier this month to cover prekindergarten through eighth grade, and certain restrictions were placed on instruction in Florida high schools as well.
https://thehill.com/homenews/education/4019365-florida-educators-group-desantiss-authoritarian-policies-would-destroy-public-schools/

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! In case you’re wondering if things can’t possibly get any more evil in Florida, oh I can assure you, the scumbags in charge in that state are just getting started! Imagine if you’re an immigrant looking to come to the land of the free. Well, America is no longer the land of the free, at least if you’re in Florida. New immigrants looking to come to the Sunshine State will have to get verified through a rather draconian verification process. Shit, what’s next? Going full Nazi and making them wear patches on their shirts? They will take the shit jobs working in the farms and fast food restaurants and they will shut up or they’re fired!

If you’re looking for a job in Florida, you might want to consider some red-hot new career opportunities picking vegetables, tarring roofs or cleaning hotel toilets.

Thanks to the imperatives of campaign messaging, Florida is about to make life harder for the hundreds of thousands of undocumented immigrants working in the state.

We’re going to be spending millions of tax dollars to fly them to other states or to scare them away by implementing a law that fines some of their employers $1,000 per day for giving them jobs.

You might think that chasing undocumented residents from the farm fields, construction sites and janitorial closets where they’ve been working is an exercise in political bottom-feeding.
https://www.palmbeachpost.com/story/news/columns/2023/05/14/porous-e-verify-immigration-system-in-florida-wont-stop-undocumented/70203458007/

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOO!!! Everything that’s happening in Florida right now is shockingly evil. But is it really that shocking? To those of us who are following the nightmare shit show that’s happening right now, the answer is no. But to those of us who think that Florida could be flipped in 2024, I’m here to tell you – you’re probably kidding yourself. Florida may be lost for a generation or two. The voters will wake up at some point. But I would call 2024 a wash right now. Florida is, however, guaranteed to be what people are calling a “circus of the abusrd” for the next 10 -15 – 20 years and beyond.

Florida is a circus of the absurd. In the center ring under the spotlight with a top hat and whip is our governor and with a snap of his whip, the legislature passes bills that restrict and harm us to further his political ambitions.

The press has done an excellent job of covering how abortion has been restricted, gun ownership has expanded, gay rights are being trampled, and higher education has been politicized, but there is another harmful piece of legislation that needs a spotlight on it.

It is the anti-environmental social governance (ESG) investing bill, because it enables an 800-pound chest pounding circus gorilla to charge around Florida, wrecking our homes, businesses and infrastructure. My apologies to gorillas, but I think imaging a rampaging gorilla is easier for some to understand than the ramifications of our warming planet with monster storms, extreme heat and rising seas flooding our streets.

Absurdly, our rights to deal with the 800-pound gorilla, the climate crisis, are disappearing. It started with Gov. Scott who eliminated Gov. Crist’s Climate Action Plan and has expanded under Gov. DeSantis with the 2021 law that forbids local government bans on natural gas and now this bill banning ESG investing by the state.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/florida-circus-absurd-090122357.html

[font size="2"]Missouri [/font]

The Show Me State has been propelled to the top of the class because they are a bright red state and went even redder in 2022. But the one thing is clear in Missouri is that they love them some guns. Yes, in 2020, Missouri was the center of the George Floyd protests with the McCloskeys – yes, those gun toting maniacs who became overnight right wing cause celebs because they had the nerve to flash their pieces out in public. But we’re going to talk about a different aspect of Missouri – children. Yes, the GOP is absolutely obsessed with children in a not at all creepy way. Actually, we’re wrong – the GOP’s obsession with children is super fucking creepy. And do we really need them policing what children read, say or do in 2023? The answer is HELL NO!

Missouri’s Republican-led House voted to cut all funding for libraries in its version of the state’s annual budget, an unprecedented move that has angered librarians and patrons across the state who rely on the facilities for everything from books to educational programming and internet access.

The proposal is not yet final; it now sits before the state Senate’s appropriations committee along with the rest of the annual $45.6 billion budget, and Republican chair Sen. Lincoln Hough said it would be his intention to restore library funding.

But for those who manage or use the state’s 160 library districts, especially in rural areas where services are not as robust, the threat feels real, librarians and patrons told the PBS NewsHour.

“The majority of Missouri libraries are small libraries, and for smaller communities that rely on this funding to serve their communities, to provide summer reading programing, to provide new books, new materials, books, and to pay their staff, this will have an absolutely devastating effect,” said Judy Garrett, who has served as a librarian at the Gentry County Public Library for 27 years.
https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/librarians-say-a-missouri-house-proposal-to-eliminate-library-funding-would-have-devastating-ripple-effects

Yeah so much for free speech! At least you tried! And speaking of speech, what about guns? Apparently some 2A absolutionists seem to get the 2nd amendment confused with the first amendment. Guns are not free speech, OK? Well, in this country, when mass shootings are at an all time high, guess what the gun nuts in Missouri want to do? They want to combine their two favorite vices - guns and church. That is right. The Missouri House passed a bill that would allow guns in places of worship. And they also want to eliminate gun free zones on top of that. Gee, what could possibly go wrong?

People would be allowed to bring guns into places of worship if they have a concealed carry permit under a bill proposed by a Missouri Republican. The bill, sponsored by Rep. Ben Baker, a Neosho Republican, was heard by the House Emerging Issues Committee Wednesday, and would strike down the current rule prohibiting concealed guns in places of worship without the permission of the religious leader of the congregation. Baker said pastors urged him to file the legislation because they do not want to be the person to determine who can carry guns in places of worship. “It can put them in a really bad position to say yes to some, and then others be upset. So it’s just they don’t want to be involved,” Baker said. “As long as people have had the training to have the CCW, they don’t care.”

Read more at: https://www.kansascity.com/news/politics-government/article273467865.html#storylink=cpy

And by the way, you might be asking “WONT SOMEBODY PLEAE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!”, well, guess what? Missouri is thinking about the children. No, they’re not going to ban AR-15s or any kind of semi-automatic weapons. Instead they’re banning… wait for it… drag shows. But unlike other states, they’re not banning drag shows under the guise of “protecting kids”, which in and of itself is a steaming load of FDA certified, grade A bullshit. No, they want to ban drag shows from any and all performance venues in the Show Me State. Can we stop electing crazy people to office, please??? Stop it now!

Representative Ben Baker of Neosho introduced House Bill 494 on Dec. 20, which would make performing in drag—in any venue minors could access—a class A misdemeanor. Repeat offenders would face class E felony charges, carrying with it a maximum sentence of four years in jail.

Baker’s bill outlaws “engaging in an adult cabaret performance if such performance is on public property or in a location where the adult cabaret performance could be viewed by a person who is not an adult.” The proposed law targets drag performers and venues, many of which welcome audiences of all ages and encourage families to attend shows together.

Baker’s bill defines an “adult cabaret performance” as “a performance in a location other than an adult cabaret that features topless dancers, go-go dancers, exotic dancers, strippers, male or female impersonators who provide entertainment that appeals to a prurient interest, or similar entertainers, regardless of whether performed for consideration.”

According to Baker’s bill, “obscenity” is determined by the following standards: “The average person, applying contemporary community standards, would find the material depicts or describes sexual conduct in a patently offensive way; and a reasonable person would find the material lacks serious literary, artistic, political or scientific value.”
https://www.thepitchkc.com/bill-by-missouri-republican-seeks-to-ban-drag-shows-from-public-venues/

[font size="2"]And The Winner Is: [/font]

We have a winner!!!! Folks, there is no mistake about this one. Florida is leading in the 2nd half with 1 minute to go. Up by 10… for three! YES!!! And now a foul has been called! First free throw is in… and it’s good! Florida now up by 14. Second free throw… it’s in! And that’s the game! Florida has won the championship by a final score of 101 – 86! They are celebrating on the court and that’s the end of this tournament!

[font size="4"]The Trophy Presentation [/font]

[font size="4"]The Champagne Celebration [/font]

[font size="4"]Statement From The Commissioner [/font]

Wow, that was a tournament for the ages! Florida has emerged as the 2023 Stupidest State grand champions! Under Ron DeSantis, they have proven to be a shining example of conservative idiocy and a preview of the brand of fascism that you can expect if they retake the White House next year and we all hope that they won’t. But Florida, I am proud to present you with the DeLay Trophy. You guys were the number one team during the regular season and now you have absolutely dominated the playoffs. And I want to thank all of the teams that participated in this year’s tournament. I want to thank our staff, the crew, and most importantly the fans, because without you guys, we wouldn’t be doing this thing! We’ll be back next year, but for now lets’ get out of here and sing that song that we all know and love!

[font size="2"]One Shining Moment [/font]

[font size="4"]And Now This: [/font]
[font size="4"]Metallica[/font]

Folks, let’s get this post season party started! my next guest is one of the legendary “Big 4” heavy metal groups. You can see them on their “No Repeat Weekend” tour August 25th and 27th at SoFi Stadium, and also stops in Phoenix, New York, and other places around the US. Playing their song Lux AEterna, give it up for the one, the only Metallica!

Well, folks, this is the end of our season! I want to thank my staff, my crew, all of our host venues, and all of the great bands we’ve featured this season. We are out of here for the summer! Our 15th season starts July 20th! But don’t worry, we’ll bring you plenty of content in the meantime! See you then!

Credits

Host: Initech
Metallica Appears Courtesy Of: BMG Rights Management
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of A Live Audience At: Constellation Room At Observatory OC, Santa Ana, CA
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