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Thu May 18, 2023, 05:30 PM

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #14-15: Trumpty Dumpty Shat On A Wall Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #14-15: Trumpty Dumpty Shat On A Wall Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Yooooooo, what’s up Santa Ana? How are you guys doing? You doing fucking good? It’s good to be home! We’re going to be doing quite a few shows from home next season. Well that’s what happens when you take an entire traveling comedy show to do an overseas spectacular for our 300th edition! Yeah we kind of shot our wad and overshot our budget, but we will be heading to the south and central parts of the country for season 15. Plus some other surprises in store. Also, don’t forget that our first 5 editions of season 15 will be devoted to our new 5 part docuseries “What’s Up With Florida” where we explore the Sunshine State and attempt to find out exactly what makes it tick. But next week is our season finale before our June / July 4th break. Man this has been a crazy season and a very exhausting one at that! But we have one more Top 10 before we get to take a long break. Do we have time for the thing? Of course we do! You know, last week we talked about the Mother’s Day advertising blitz. This week it’s the Dads & Grads advertising blitz. You know, George Costanza was right – “birthdays, Christmas, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, just once I would like one month off!”. And I mean come on, where do department stores like Best Buy and Amazon think we get all this money to spend on gifts? Like shit, when did gift giving become a contact sport? But yeah this is why I make it a policy to block as many ads as possible. But then again that’s probably why we have that coveted Thursday at 2:00 PM time slot at the Chuckle Hut and not prime time after the Daily Show on Comedy Central, which is where we should be! Yeah that guy agrees with me! Thank you sir! OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first we have to play John Oliver’s totally ridiculous half episode aimed at people who will never buy a home, but they can remember Chuck-E-Cheeses.

Where do we begin for our next to last Top 10 of Season 14? Well the number one slot is obviously going to that guy who we inexplicably used to call president (1) and the hits just keep coming! The latest victory comes in the form of the E. Jean Carroll lawsuit over Trump’s infamous “grab them” comments he made during the 2016 election! Woooooooooooo!!!!! In the second slot this week is CNN (2) for giving this abusive jerk a town hall special, and well, it was exactly what you would expect from him – a colossal shit show and another way to get free advertising for 2024. Ugh, another reason why we can’t have nice things. In the number 3 slot this week is our favorite New York Congress critter George Santos (3) because his years of lying his ass off have finally caught up to him – and he’s been arrested on charges to commit conspiracy and fraud! Excuse my editorial laugh… ha ha ha! In the number 4 slot this week is Elon Musk (4). Yes, while the rest of the world is still attempting to get the stink out of Tucker Carlson out of the room, Carlson has a new show on… Twitter? Yeah that’s right, because, I don’t know, free speech or something. The cult doesn’t like independent thought. In the number 5 slot this week is our segment “Good Guys With Guns” (5), and while you were sleeping, the MAGA SCOTUS is hard at work fast tracking a potentially nightmarish case that could overturn gun and magazine bans nationwide! They thought they could catch us while weren’t looking, right? Wrong! The last thing we need in this country is more guns and no rules. In the number 6 slot this week is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and this week, our resident pastor was tipped off to an alarming story out of Colorado that shows what happens when one Denver suburb went from 0 to fascist really quickly, and it happens when you least suspect it! In the number 7 slot, we’re bringing back our segment “How Is This Still A Thing?” (7) and this week we’re going to ask the question – “White nationalism – how is this still a thing?”. In the number 8 slot this week is our weekly venture into the never ending world of online tin foil hat nuttery in Conspiracy Corner (8) and last week, we briefly mentioned about the guy who managed to punk Alex Jones into thinking that he was fired Fox News host Tucker Carlson, and well, this story is much deeper and crazier than you could imagine! Speaking of crazy, in the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week is a new “I Need A Drink” and we’ve always said that social media will be the end of humanity, but would you believe that the latest viral craze involves people smuggling Fruit Roll Ups past airport security? Neither did we, the internet is a seemingly endless black hole of stupidity. Finally this week, it’s the Stupidest State Final Four! Florida vs Ohio, Missouri vs Tennessee! Two of these states will advance to the finals, the others will go home! The champagne is on ice! Plus to cap things off, we have some live music from the legendary Iggy Pop! Buy his new album “Every Loser” or you’re no friend of this program! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

You know…. You know… when I first heard about the verdict in the civil lawsuit between E. Jean Carroll and that guy who we inexplicably used to call president, Donald J. Trump, I wasn’t exactly sure how I should feel about the subject. One thing is perfectly clear – Trump is an abusive jerk and he has a ridiculously long history of being an abusive jerk. For the sake of this piece, let’s call it “Trump’s Expensive New Suit”. Or maybe “The Emperor’s New Lawsuit”. Nah, needs more zing. How about “Humpty Trumpty Shat On A Wall”. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I don’t think that diaper is big enough! But you know here’s the thing, is that Trump stepped in it deep. Yes, white male supremacists – rape is a crime! Doesn’t matter what Jordan Peterson or Ted Nugent tells you. But of course like most things, this is an example of two different systems of justice. Trump is a rich, white male and he will probably most likely get a slap on the wrist for being a rich, white male. When he should be going to prison for a long time. Eh, at this point, we’ll just settle for him being on house arrest at Mar-A-Lago where he can DJ hits by the Village People.

A civil jury on Tuesday found former President Donald Trump liable for sexually abusing the writer E. Jean Carroll at a New York department store in the 1990s, and for defaming her last fall when he denied her claim.

The jury of six men and three women also ordered Trump to pay Carroll a total of $5 million in compensatory and punitive damages after deliberating less than three hours in U.S. District Court in Manhattan.

Jurors notably did not find Trump liable for rape, the most serious allegation Carroll made in a lawsuit filed last year. But their verdict that he sexually abused and forcibly touched her without her consent during a chance encounter in the Bergdorf Goodman store substantiated her civil claim of battery. Trial in the case began on April 25.

“I filed this lawsuit against Donald Trump to clear my name and to get my life back,” Carroll, 79, said in a statement Tuesday. “Today, the world finally knows the truth,” said Carroll, a former “Elle” magazine advice columnist and biographer of gonzo journalist Hunter S. Thompson.

Read more: https://www.cnbc.com/2023/05/09/trump-rape-defamation-trial-jury-gets-instructions-from-judge-.html

Thank you Nelson! Well, here’s the thing – it’s just money. And it’s $5 million which to Trump is probably nothing. I mean he’s probably got that much under his couch cushions. Eh, don’t worry, he’ll blame it on his Adderall and or whatever else he’s taking that’s turned his brain to mush. We’d say meth but that’s neither here nor there. And no, we’re not touching that one with a 100 footpole! But of course, you know with the GOP these days that two things are inevitable. The first is that they don’t know when to shut the fuck up. The second thing is that every accusation is a confession. There is a third thing, and that third thing is that yes, they don’t know when to shut the fuck up.

This week, Donald Trump and Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg offered us a tale of two citizens and the law. Bragg played a losing legal hand smartly. Trump? Not so much.

Let's start there. In a Manhattan federal courtroom, E. Jean Carroll is suing the former president for allegedly raping her in a Bergdorf Goodman dressing room in the 1990s. Defendant Trump hasn't shown up, just as he told us he wouldn't.

His purported excuse? Concern for the "financial and logistical burdens" his appearance would impose on New York!


Here, Trump has reason to fear that he will be on the short end of the verdict in Carroll's case. This is a civil lawsuit, so she only needs the jury to believe that her charge is more likely true than not.

Carroll took the stand on Wednesday and testified that she brought the case "because Donald Trump raped me, and when I wrote about it, he said it didn't happen. He lied and shattered my reputation, and I'm here to get my life back."

The thing is, there’s no justice in the world for creepy, old, white perverts. I mean come on, $5 million dollars? That’s ridiculous. And I’m not even going to point out the endless amount of bile that Trump has been spewing on his social media hidey hole in Truth Social, which is quickly becoming a black hole in stupidity, and the world’s most expensive spite store. Ha ha ha ha ha, well I mean, someone’s got to buy the merchandise. But of course ,Trump is a guy who is known to shoot his mouth off on just about every subject known to man, but when it comes to this one, he’s very oddly silent. And I’m not counting the endless amounts of times he pleads the fifth.

Former President Donald Trump won’t testify in the civil trial over allegations he raped writer E. Jean Carroll in the 1990s.

His attorneys did not issue a filing by the 5 p.m. Sunday deadline that Judge Lewis Kaplan set for them to notify the court if he wanted to testify. Closing arguments in the trial are set to begin at 10 a.m. Monday.

Lawyers for Trump and Carroll rested their case in the civil trial last week. Kaplan left open the possibility for Trump, who had said he would not appear in person, to take the witness stand in his own defense, giving him time to change his mind.

Trump's lawyers said last week that their client will not testify and that they are not putting on any witnesses — a position attorney Joe Tacopina reiterated at the end of court Thursday when he rested their case. He told the judge that he’d spoken to Trump earlier that day and that the former president had waived his right to testify.

Yeah, Trump is quite literally that guy. When it comes to crimes he actually committed, that’s the one time he actually will shut up, and is very oddly silent on. In case you’re wondering what kind of scumbag Trump is in real life, he’s the kind of person who would blame the victim for being in his way. Like remember when Dick Cheney shot that guy in the face, and then made the guy apologize to him for getting in the way of his shot? Yeah he’s that kind of abusive psychopath. But this goes with what we’re saying about the GOP being too comfortable in their roles. Trump will just hold a bunch of rallies and go on Fox News to convince the cult he’s a good guy.

Donald Trump has boasted about grabbing women by the pussy without their consent. He has made innumerable misogynistic comments. He has been accused of sexual misconduct by at least 26 women. He has suggested that some of the women who have accused him of misconduct were too unattractive to assault. And, until this week, he has managed to get away with all of it. Trump has faced no meaningful consequences for his actions; he has given every impression of being above the law.

Until this week. It may have taken decades, but the law has finally caught up with Trump. On Tuesday, a jury in New York found that the former president sexually abused the advice columnist E Jean Carroll in the changing room of a department store 27 years ago. It was a civil case, so Trump hasn’t been taken away in handcuffs, but his reputation and his wallet have suffered a blow. While the jury did not find that Trump raped Carroll, its verdict brands him a sexual predator. Carroll was awarded $5m (£4m) in total: $2.02m in compensation and damages for her battery claim and $2.98m in compensation and damages for defamation, as a result of Trump calling her a liar.

“I filed this lawsuit against Donald Trump to clear my name and to get my life back,” Carroll said on Tuesday. “Today, the world finally knows the truth. This victory is not just for me but for every woman who has suffered because she was not believed.”

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Well, CNN’s quest to turn into Fox News light is going about as well as you’d expect. And of course I don’t need to tell you that the controversial Town Hall meeting they had with that guy who we inexplicably used to call president. But that town hall wasn’t exactly met with the pomp and circumstance you’d usually expect from a MAGA event. But as you can probably guess, this is yet another chapter in the ongoing experiment called “Everything Trump Touches Dies”. Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! Yeah that would make an awesome horror movie! But the town hall, as everyone predicted, was an absolute disaster. And I guess that you could say “we told you so!” followed by a very childish “neener neener”. The one thing that we will show you about what this town hall actually did, was it showed how two very different networks handle the guy with the most fragile ego in the entire country. And of course, neither of them handle that jackass particularly well. But then again, he’s a guy who cannot be contained, and loves his cronies and ass kissers. He also hates when he’s forced to get out of his element.

CNN faced criticism this week for reportedly screening a "sympathetic" audience to attend former President Donald Trump's town hall.

Popular Information writer Judd Legum reported that the 400 members of Wednesday's town hall would be supportive of the Republican Party.

"The audience for the CNN townhall w/Trump will be 400 Republicans & GOP-leaning independents," Legum wrote on Twitter.

The writer blasted CNN for allowing a biased audience to question Trump after he was found liable for sexually abusing E. Jean Carroll.

"Allowing Trump to appear in front of an audience exclusively comprised of people who are likely sympathetic to Trump -- and then turn over the questions to that group -- is irresponsible," he said.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Part of the problem with today’s GOP is that they’re too comfortable in their roles to actually change anything about themselves. They never actually get out of their element, and they only appear on shows that will have the host’s lips firmly implanted on their ass, and that’s a problem. It’s insane that CNN is essentially turning into Fox News light, and the last thing on earth we need is more republican bullshit! Yeah, real journalism costs money. But the one thing we learned from this disastrous town hall is that when you’re in a hole, stop digging! Yeah, we’ve been saying that since our first edition!

Donald Trump dug himself a deeper hole during the CNN town hall as it pertains to Justice Department Special Counsel Jack Smith's investigation into his alleged mishandling of documents, according to Harvard law professor Laurence Tribe.

CNN has received quite a bit of flack since providing the 2024 Republican front-runner with airtime Wednesday at St. Anselm College in Goffstown, New Hampshire, as he spoke in front of a live audience composed essentially of 2024 GOP presidential primary voters.

During the approximate 75-minute back and forth, Trump went into more detail about his mindset regarding the classified documents that were discovered August 8 during an FBI raid of his private Mar-a-Lago residence.

"Trump's CNN performance was one long series of confessions, strongly accelerating Special Counsel Smith's timeline toward multiple indictments," Tribe tweeted Friday.

And by the way, in case you’re wondering what the lesson learned from all of this – is that the American media hasn’t learned a damn thing. Trump is a bloodthirsty lunatic who’s out for absolute power and if he gets back in the White House in 2024, he will have people killed. Publicly and in prime time too. He might even save his most revered enemies for a PPV special. You know, just because he can and just because the shitheads who vote for him will buy literally anything that he puts his name on. But really if he manages to slime his way back to the presidency, we’ll know exactly who to blame this time around.

Donald Trump remains a juggernaut. He came, he saw, and he conquered during his appearance on CNN last week as he spouted the Big Lie and many other smaller ones about the 2020 Election and other subjects, praised the Jan. 6 coup attempt and his terrorist foot soldiers who attacked and overran the Capitol, spouted white supremacist and misogynistic invective, and continued his assault on reality and common decency.

That Trump would be so victorious during his CNN town hall was predictable – and by design. CNN rigged the outcome in his favor by filling the audience with Republicans, right-leaning independents, and other Trump voters. The audience was told not to boo or otherwise show disapproval or "disrespect" for the former president. Kaitlan Collins, the host, was utterly unprepared for his lies and thus no match for Trump.

When CEO Chris Licht took over CNN last year, he promised to pivot the network in a more "balanced" direction that was more "mainstream." Hosts and other voices who were consistently critical of Trump would be silenced (or fired). CNN's new regime also committed itself to false balance and false equivalency where the Republican and MAGA movement who are trying to end multiracial democracy are presented as a reasonable alternative to the Democrats within the broad mainstream of American politics instead of as an existential threat to the future of the country and its democracy.

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[font size="8"]George Santos
[br] [/font]

When we first heard of Georg e Santos (Q – Batshit), we were not at all surprised to learn that he’s a serial liar and con artist. That seems to be the hallmark of running for office on the MAGA ticket these days. But what we did not know – is that he was a soon to be indicted convicted felon. Like what are the odds of that happening? Well, in the republican party, your odds of that happening are already extremely high to begin with. Look, we all had some laughs at the beginning of the year when Rep. Santos dominated the news and like every other news article that came out about him was yet another lie. And the lies got even more ridiculous and insane than the next one did. But there’s nothing funny about money laundering and excessive fraud. No, sir. But anyway, this is yet another reason to laugh, because MAGA has once again dug up another criminal, and ran them for office. Just like the long list of MAGA criminals already in office. You know who they are.

George Santos arrived for his arrest last week dressed in what has now become something of a signature uniform for him: blue blazer, knit sweater over a white collared shirt, chinos, penny loafers, Ray-Bans. It’s an unremarkable outfit, the kind that expresses a sort of Brooks Brothers–esque nonchalance (“Oh, this old thing?”). But it was a potent visual of what he has been trying to do.

That the clothes make the con is an old story. “Fake it till you make it” is the ultimate aspirational koan, and as New York Times fashion critic Vanessa Friedman put it, writing in January about Santos’ fashion choices, “Throughout history, the greatest grifters have understood that dressing the part is half the game.” But Santos’ particular spin on an old trope is underscored by the unalloyed chutzpah of him having misused campaign contributions in order to buy “luxury designer clothing,” as noted in the indictment unsealed on Wednesday. In other words, paying for self-presentation is part of what just got him in trouble. That’s no accident.

The quintessential Santos outfit is a uniform that conveys old-money assuredness, a statement not just of “I belong here” but “I deserve power because of my status.” (“Behold, the uniform of preppy private-school boys everywhere,” Friedman wrote, “like something straight out of Dead Poets Society.”) The look caught the eye of Derek Guy, a menswear writer, who told me over email that as a political candidate, Santos often “wore many of the markers of financial success, but in a sort of ‘Nordstrom way’: fleece vests, quarter zip sweaters, Ferragamo horsebit loafers, quilted Burberry jackets, and slim sport coats.”

See, this is why I hate clickbait. The headline had the word “SHOCKING” in bold letters. Come on, seriously? Was it really that shocking? Most of us who have been following the MAGA shit show for the last 10 years saw it coming like a mile away. But the sad thing is, just like the other MAGA crooks in Congress, it may take a Herculean effort to get rid of these scumbags. But it must be done! The republican party is the party of crooks and liars, and we’ve got nearly 7 years of Idiots lists that show you a metric fuck ton of evidence that is indeed the case! But really, fuck George Santos.

Rep. George Santos pleaded not guilty Wednesday to 13 federal charges including fraud and lying to Congress.

Santos faces seven counts of wire fraud, three counts of money laundering, one count of theft of public funds and two counts of lying to the House of Representatives, according to an indictment unsealed Wednesday. He was released from custody on a $500,000 bond following his arraignment at a Long Island federal courthouse. If convicted, Santos could face up to 20 years in prison.

The charges mark a significant escalation in the many legal and ethical probes the fabulist Republican lawmaker has faced since taking office. Breon Peace, U.S. Attorney for the Eastern District of New York, said in a statement that the charges against Santos aim to hold the freshman lawmaker accountable for numerous alleged "fraudulent schemes and brazen misrepresentations."

"Taken together, the allegations in the indictment charge Santos with relying on repeated dishonesty and deception to ascend to the halls of Congress and enrich himself," Peace said.

A MAGA lying to Congress? Now *THAT*’s shocking! NOT! But then again that’s why I really hate clickbait. Was the news in question really *THAT* shocking? Of course it wasn’t. We knew that George Santos was a lying scumbag the first time he appeared in the news. We’re not saying all MAGAs are lying scumbags… wait, no, that’s exactly what we are saying. Because, seriously, fuck this guy and everyone else who got duped by Trump into running for Congress. We’re not going to hear the end of these losers anytime soon. The sad thing is as long as they’re still running the House, we won’t get rid of them. They’re like flies to a bug zapper.

After months of ridicule and humiliation, Rep. George Santos’ troubles reached an even more serious point last week. A week ago today, the New York Republican was indicted by the Justice Department and charged with a variety of crimes, including wire fraud, money laundering, and theft of public funds. Two days later, the GOP congressman, as part of an agreement with Brazilian prosecutors, confessed to theft.

Evidently, this week won’t be especially easy for Santos, either. NBC News reported:

Democratic Rep. Robert Garcia introduced a resolution Tuesday to expel indicted Republican Rep. George Santos from Congress. The resolution is privileged, meaning the Republican-controlled House must bring it up in the next two days.

The California congressman championing the measure told reporters that the purpose of the resolution is to “put Republicans on the record” in response to Santos’ latest legal troubles.

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[font size="8"]Elon Musk
[br] [/font]

Look, people. We got to stop letting the right wing steamroll us on the Constitution and what freedom of speech really means. As we’ve all seen from the fallout from the Fox News lawsuit with Dominion Voting Systems, free speech does have consequences. As is the case with our old buddy Tucker Carlson, and it seems that you just can’t keep a good right wing troll down. While there was apparently a bidding war over who got Tucker’s new show, it appears that the winner is… Elon Musk? I guess the Chief Twit, as he likes to call himself, is now a media mogul, in addition to the 750 other businesses that he runs on a daily basis. But you know, seriously, right wing politics is a fucking racket. And it seems that if you’re in the cult, they just want more of you. Yeah that doesn’t sound creepy at all, does it? Thank you sir for pointing that one out! But again, no, we don’t need the Tucker reaction camera for this one. And again, this is insane that this is the pulse of America. And we also wonder how many of Tucker’s new followers are Russian bots.

Tucker Carlson’s video announcement earlier this week he would host a show on Twitter—two weeks after the former controversial Fox News host was ousted by the network—became the top-performing post on Twitter for the week, beating out Taylor Swift, Elon Musk and others.

Carlson’s tweet Tuesday—which reads, “We’re back”—has accumulated more than 194,000 retweets and 891,500 likes as of 2:30 p.m. EST Saturday, the most in either category for the week ending on May 13.

Carlson, who parted ways with Fox News after 14 years, announced the return of his primetime news show on the platform with a video accompanying the tweet, suggesting there are “limits” to the stories that can be told on TV.

The tweet outperformed K-Pop superstars BTS—a photo of member Min Yoon-gi—which totaled over 176,600 retweets and 530,600 likes, though the post has been up for less than 24 hours.

Carlson also beat out Taylor Swift, who periodically posted updates from her “Eras Tour,” with her most-liked post totaling more than 56,000 retweets and 463,400 likes.

Yeah that’s another thing – let’s check out those numbers for a minute. The top performing tweet that week only got 891,000 hits. 891,000. In the before times, that Tweet probably could have fetched 2 – 3 million hits at the minimum. Of course that’s what happens when you hang out with neo Nazis and white nationalists and scare off all the good advertisers. And the last thing we need is more right wing bullshit polluting the internet. Right wing bullshit is everywhere and it’s rotting more minds than any amount of crack or heroin would ever do.

Right-wing extremist Tucker Carlson announced Tuesday that he will relaunch his program on Twitter, which he praised as the only remaining large free-speech platform in the world after Fox News fired him late last month.

Carlson made the announcement in a video posted to the social media website, which Elon Musk acquired last year. Musk said Twitter did not sign an agreement with Carlson for his new show.

Twitter has devolved in recent months into a chaotic platform where the traditional press has come under assault from the billionaire.

“Speech is the fundamental pre-requisite for democracy. That’s why it was enshrined in the first of our Constitutional amendments,” Carlson said. “Amazingly, as of tonight, there are not that many platforms left that allow free speech. The last big one remaining … is Twitter, where we are now.”

Carlson demonized the news media in his announcement video, accusing journalists of often excluding facts that detract from their narratives. He did not mention Musk has censored speech on Twitter, including banning several prominent reporters from the website just last year.

Hey Tucker – YOU’RE A MEMBER OF THE MEDIA!!! Are you a victim of your own brand of brainwashing and mental conditioning? That’s like asking if Caitlyn Jenner hangs out at Mar-A-Lago on the weekends… and really? That’s not Photoshopped? OMFG. It really is getting harder to tell what is satire and what is real these days. But really this whole exercise is more of a “do not fuck with us” kind of deal. Because that is what Tucker is basically telling his former employer. Could a show starring an unfiltered Tucker Carlson being as racist and sexist as he wants to be succeed on Twitter? He might gain a few new followers, but for the most part, he’ll just be pandering to the same idiots.

Tucker Carlson’s announcement that he intends to launch a new version of his now-canceled Fox News program on Twitter provided the clearest window yet into the pundit’s plans for the future — and a feud with his former employer that shows no signs of ending anytime soon.

What remains to be seen is whether Carlson, who remains under contract with the network, can use his teased social media project to maintain his high profile while tensions with Fox permeate behind the scenes.

Fox has not commented on a video Carlson posted Tuesday on Twitter announcing his plans to move his show to the social media platform.

But it is clear there are questions about whether he can do so given his contractual agreements with Fox.

Yeah that’s another thing – how’s Elon going to win back those precious advertising dollars when he scared off all the good ones? One thing is for damn sure – no one is going to like his “no content regulation” policy. Like how do people think they can post nasty messages and think that is going to win them friends and influence? Oh wait, I know what decade we live in. Never mind. But here’s the thing, while Tucker got rich off peddling hate to white nationalists who watch Fox 24/7, could Fox send a “fuck you” message to Elon in an effort to stop this new programming? Eh… probably.

The mystery surrounding Tucker Carlson’s ouster from the airwaves at Fox News — and his future plans in media — are coming into sharper focus.

On April 26, Carlson spoke by phone with one of Fox Corp.’s eight board members, who told the host that his recent benching was a condition of Fox News’ settlement with Dominion Voting Systems, according to multiple sources with knowledge of the conversation.

But Dominion was looking for the best way to maim the conservative news network, and forcing Fox News to cut ties with the most-watched personality in cable news would deal a potentially insurmountable blow and lead to a viewer exodus, according to Carlson’s understanding.

“That condition was intended to hurt Fox, and Tucker is just collateral damage,” says a source familiar with the matter. “Dominion wanted to punish Fox, and it’s working.”

Dominion and Fox Corp. both strongly dispu

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[font size="8"]Good Guys With Guns
[br] [/font]

“No matter what the situation, a guy with a gun is a guy with a gun.” – Michael Weston in Burn Notice

Top 10 Conservative Idiots Presents:

Let’s face some facts. Every country on earth has guns. But there’s only one country with an organization that gives a consistent “fuck you” to any attempt to legislate them, and that country is America. And that organization, you know them as the National Rifle Association. Yes, the NRA – because killing people and defending yourselves from hostile animals is fun! But when you have a country with 330,000,000 people and 100,000,000,000,000,000 guns, and no rules to enforce them, the last thing you need in this country is more guns, right? Wrong! Fuck you! Well, at least that’s what the NRA will tell you. But while you weren’t looking, the 6 – 3 MAGA backed, completely compromised SCOTUS was hoping that you weren’t looking while they were on a warpath to fast track a case that could undo America’s gun bans. Yes, that’s right, even in states that you thought were once safe like California and Massachusetts, are not immune from this lawsuit.

Challengers of state and local bans on assault weapons in Illinois asked Justice Amy Coney Barrett and the Supreme Court on Monday to block the bans, saying that courts are ignoring last year’s ruling that expanded Second Amendment rights.

The gun rights advocates are challenging both a city ordinance passed last year by Naperville, Illinois, that bans the sale of assault rifles, and an Illinois state law enacted this year prohibiting the sale and possession of assault weapons and magazines.

Both a federal district court and an appeals court declined the request from a gun rights group, an Illinois gun shop and its owner for a preliminary injunction.

Monday’s emergency application was submitted to Barrett, who oversee emergency appeals coming from that region of the country.

The challengers say the courts are ignoring last year’s Supreme Court ruling known as Bruen v New York State Rifle & Pistol Association, and a previous decision, known as Heller v. District of Columbia.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! You know what? I think it’s way past time we told these psychos to fuck right the hell off. I mean come on, why do gun rights groups exist in 2023? In this country, guns have more rights than the people who get shot with them! Like when a shooting happens, you ever notice that there’s a massive increase in new gun sales? Yes, it’s the circle of death and it screws us all! Shit, at this point, America’s chief export and also import is death. That’s one thing that this country is doing well in right now – is killing people. And the last thing we need is more ways to kill people and the wrong people to get guns.

The U.S. Supreme Court could soon issue a decision on whether state and local governments can legally impose bans on assault weapons within their jurisdictions.

Ten states in total have bans on assault weapons and/or high capacity magazines. But a Supreme Court ruling on a case challenging Illinois’s ban — which could, legal observers say, be handed down any day now — has the potential to render those laws unenforceable.

The case in question, National Association for Gun Rights v. City of Naperville, argues that the state of Illinois cannot enforce a ban on owning assault weapons. The case also challenges the city of Naperville’s ordinance on assault weapons, arguing that both statutes are in direct violation of the Second Amendment to the Constitution.

The case involves the gun rights organization as well as a gun shop owner, who has alleged that his sales are being negatively impacted by the bans.

Yeah that’s eventually where we’re heading. We’ll be a country where you have to use your gun to open beer cans and unlock doors. Of course as long as those beers aren’t from “woke” brands. I mean at least have some consistency, GOP. Yes, there’s some things that we should all be at least able to agree on when it comes to gun control in America, right? Yes, people should be properly trained on how to use them should they decide to purchase one. No, children should not be around guns. No, domestic abusers should not be allowed to own guns. These are all things that make sense. But the right wing gun nuts’ approach is basically just “fuck it”.

On May 1, Justice Amy Coney Barrett directed the State of Illinois and the City of Naperville to respond to the emergency application for injunction pending appellate review filed by the National Association for Gun Rights (NAGR). As I explained in "An Opening Judicial Salvo in Defense of Illinois' New Rifle Ban," the U.S. district court (N.D. Ill.) denied a motion for preliminary injunction against the State's ban on semiautomatic rifles and standard-capacity magazines, greatly departing from Supreme Court precedent on the Second Amendment.

While that denial was being appealed to the 7th Circuit, Judge Stephen McGlynn (S.D. Ill.) found that plaintiffs in another challenge were likely to succeed on the merits that the law violates the Second Amendment, and he issued a preliminary injunction against enforcement. See my post. The 7th Circuit immediately granted the State's motion for a stay against the injunction in a one-sentence order without giving the plaintiffs an opportunity to respond.

So now the challengers have filed amicus briefs supporting NAGR in the Supreme Court, and we await a decision there.

Yes, that’s a good point, Homer. Yeah let’s blame the cigarettes. But here’s the thing – this is why we’re constantly emphasizing the fact that elections have consequences. Yes, we can actively blame the bloviating orange asshole for the reason why we’re in the current situation that we’re in. Because by electing him, he allowed the Christian right to run rampant and he stacked the courts in favor of lunatics who value the 2nd Amendment and guns over the victims. If a mass shooting happens and your first thought is the government coming to take your guns away, you should probably not own guns. It’s that simple.

The Supreme Court could hand down a decision any day now in National Association for Gun Rights v. City of Naperville, a case that could legalize assault weapons and high-capacity magazines in all 50 states.

The case challenges a Naperville, Illinois, ordinance and a similar Illinois state law, both of which ban assault weapons, which the state law defines to include certain semiautomatic rifles such as AR-15s and AK-47s. Additionally, the state law prohibits the sale of a “large capacity ammunition feeding device,” which the statute defines as long gun magazines that hold more than 10 rounds of ammunition, or handgun magazines that hold more than 15 bullets.

The plaintiffs, which include a gun shop owner and a gun rights group, claim the two statutes violate the Second Amendment.

Should the Supreme Court accept that argument and overturn these laws, it would have sweeping implications for the entire country. That decision would need to be followed throughout the entire nation — which would most likely mean that neither any state nor the US Congress could ban assault rifles or high-capacity magazines.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit: How Small Towns Become Fascist
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! Please be seated! You know, over the last year or so, we’ve been talking heavily about the rise of Christian nationalism and the dangers of Dominionist supremacy. Well, today we’re going to show you how small towns become fascist. In doing research on this subject, I had several viewers tip me off to this story out of Woodland Park, Colorado. So if you don’t know where this city is, it’s in the western part of Colorado. And it’s firmly in the middle of Colorado’s largest district, CO-4, which as you know, is famously represented by Christian nationalist and gun enthusiast Lauren Boebert, which is why it’s been in the news a lot lately. Well this week we plan to show you just how towns become fascist. And don’t think yours won’ t be next. The American Christian right is on a warpath and they’re starting small and local. It starts with the takeover of school boards and city councils. Where does it end? Well you know where it ends. This is not what the good LAWRD JAYSUS would want now, is it? Of course these people worship the unholy, ungodly Dark One! I of course speak of a man so profane, so disgusting, so evil that his name dare NOT be spoken in my church! So this is how small towns become fascist.

When a conservative slate of candidates won control of the school board here 18 months ago, they began making big changes to reshape the district.

Woodland Park, a small mountain town that overlooks Pikes Peak, became the first — and, so far, only — district in the country to adopt the American Birthright social studies standard, created by a right-wing advocacy group that warns of the “steady whittling away of American liberty.” The new board hired a superintendent who was previously recalled from a nearby school board after pushing for a curriculum that would “promote positive aspects of the United States.” The board approved the community’s first charter school without public notice and gave the charter a third of the middle school building.

As teachers, students and parents began protesting these decisions, the administration barred employees from discussing the district on social media. At least two staff members who objected to the board’s decisions were later forced out of their jobs, while another was fired for allegedly encouraging protests.

These rapid and sweeping shifts weren’t coincidental — instead it was a plan ripped from the MAGA playbook designed to catch opponents off guard, according to a board member’s email released through an open records request.


Now you might be wondering what religious conservatives plan to do with their newfound wealth and power. Well, I can assure you that they are NOT going to be using it for good! Instead they are going to be using it for EVIL! The thing is, people really need to start paying attention to who’s running for your school boards and city councils. Because when you don’t, that’s how the bad guys win. And right now, I hate to say this, the bad guys are winning. So what do they plan to do with this evil power? Of course they’re using it to ban books and rewrite school curriculum in favor of white nationalism and the unholy Dark One!

At the first board meeting in January with Witt as superintendent, the board voted to adopt the American Birthright social studies curriculum standard. No social studies teachers had been consulted prior to the vote, according to three current employees and an administrator who asked to speak anonymously to protect their employment.

American Birthright materials emphasize patriotism, argue that the federal government should have no authority over public schools and say teachers should not encourage civic engagement, such as registering to vote or petitioning local lawmakers on issues students care about.

“It is terribly important to be a disengaged citizen, and indeed, a disengaged student,” said David Randall, research director at the National Association of Scholars, a conservative organization that created the standards last year.

Woodland Park voted for Donald Trump over Joe Biden by 2-to-1 in 2020. Michael Ciaglo for NBC News
Randall said American Birthright was modeled off state standards in Massachusetts and Florida. The group received input from dozens of right-wing groups and activists, including the Claremont Institute, the Family Research Council and Moms for Liberty. Randall sees it as a bipartisan alternative to coursework that he described as hijacked by liberal concepts. Critics, though, say it’s biased toward the right — for example, it includes Bill Clinton’s impeachment but not Donald Trump’s.


Gee, I’m not at all surprised that this district leans heavily in favor of the Dark One! But the thing you have to learn about fascism, my fair congregation, is that fascism creeps up on you when you least suspect it. When you see that a white supremacist like Andrew Wommack vowing to take over your city, you’d better be aware that he’s serious. Because the type of people who the Dark One tends to attract are unhinged lunatics with an incredibly racist and sexist agenda. And you should absolutely pay attention to who’s running in your city, because when you don’t vote, they win.

In 1994, right-wing evangelist Andrew Wommack founded Charis Bible College in Woodland Park, Colorado, and has used it as a platform from which to spew disinformation, conspiracy theories, and anti-LGBTQ bigotry ever since.

Wommack is an ardent Christian nationalist who openly declares that right-wing Christians “are supposed to be ruling in this world.” Right Wing Watch reported in 2016 that Wommack had teamed up with Christian nationalist pseudo-historian David Barton to launch a “Practical Government School” at Charis that teaches students how to “restore God’s purpose in government.”

While Wommack’s Christian college was training up a generation of Christian nationalists to take over governments around the country, Wommack went to work closer to home, musing in 2021 that with just the people associated with Charis, “we ought to take over Woodland Park.”

In 2022, Right Wing Watch reported that Wommack announced that he had decided to “take Colorado back” during the previous election cycle by flooding five districts with hundreds of thousands of voter guides, bragging that he was able to get “78 or 80” of his preferred candidates elected to office.

And yes, the DEVIL most certainly does! Because this movement is dangerous, and not only is it a threat to the health and well being of the youth of this country, it’s a threat to democracy itself. We’ve been covering Christian fascism for years. And it’s insane to me that Christian fundamentalists run on the premise of their candidacy being “god’s will”. No it is most certainly not GAWD’s will! It’s your will, you’ve been indoctrinated into a brainwashed cult. And yes, I refer to it as a cult. It’s no different from Scientology or NXIVM. They all practice the same principles. They all have leaders and hierarchy systems that are used to sway believers. They all have charismatic frontmen who convince you every week that it's god’s will. I could go on and on. Anyway this is what we’re up against.

The board of a small school district in Teller County passed a resolution Wednesday night to use the conservative American Birthright social studies standards that emphasize patriotism and American exceptionalism, just a month after the state board of education rejected them.

The standards were championed by the district’s new interim superintendent, Ken Witt, a former Jefferson County board president. He was recalled along with two other board members in 2015 after they tried to inject patriotism into the history curriculum.

“In all honesty, in my opinion… the proposed American Birthright standard is better aligned with the Woodland Park School District purpose and core beliefs,” said Witt, who was hired by the board of education on Dec. 21, despite opposition from community members and a student-led petition.

That statement prompted several loud “no’s” from the audience. At one point the meeting was adjourned after a man yelled out “this is a joke” and the board president threatened to call the police in the small mountainous community northwest of Colorado Springs.

Yes it is! And if you don’t look, your town will fall pray to the demented far right Christian cult that’s taking over this country on an alarming basis! I warn you, those who forget history are doomed to repeat it! Heed this warning my fair congregation, and we must take this country back from far right religious fascism! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]How Is This Still A Thing: White Nationalism
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It's time once again to ask:

This week: White nationalism, how is this still a thing? There’s no mistake that humanity, and especially Americans are getting increasingly more hostile and violent. We could place the blame on the darkest corners of the internet, like Infowars and right wing social media, but there’s a lot more to it than that and we’re not going to solve this issue anytime soon. This week, President Biden gave a speech about white nationalism, calling it one of the greatest existential threats to the United States of America in the 2020s. But we’re here to ask the question – why is it still a thing? We have fought two major wars over this sort of thing. The first was the American Civil War from 1860 – 1865. The second was of course World War II. And how did both of those wars end? That’s right – the bad guys lost both of them, so of course it would make sense that they’re attempting this a third time. But is there really a backlash for calling out racism in its’ most extreme form? Well, maybe if you watch Fox there is, but outside of the Fox / AM / Sinclair bubble, most are in agreement.

President Joe Biden told Howard University’s graduating class on Saturday (May 13) that the nation is in a battle for its soul and must “stand up against the poison of white supremacy,” adding that the class of 2023 is “the reason I’m so optimistic about the future.”

The president delivered his commencement address after receiving an honorary Doctor of Letters degree from the historically Black university. At times, Biden, who is running for a second term, sounded like he was on the campaign trail, pointing to his accomplishments in office and to unachieved policy promises. During his speech, a handful of students turned their backs on Biden and held up signs in a silent protest.

Biden recounted the story of what motivated him to run for the presidency in 2020. He said after Barack Obama, the nation’s first Black president, was reelected to office he “hoped that the fear of violence and hate was significantly losing ground.” But then the 2017 white supremacist rally of “crazed neo-Nazis with angry faces” and Klansmen in Charlottesville, Va., reminded him that hate never goes away but “only hides under the rocks.”

“And what did you hear? That famous quote. When asked about what happened, that famous quote. ‘There are very fine people on both sides,’” Biden said, alluding to former President Donald Trump's defense of the Charlottesville rally.

Yeah that’s Fox News in a nutshell right now. We’re not saying that all Fox News viewers are racists, but all racists watch Fox News. In fact, when Tucker Carlson was on, not only did racists watch his show, they watched it multiple times to “learn from it”. And that’s scary. Because the thing we’ve noticed in the last several years of doing this program is that racists don’t like being called out for being racist, and that’s usually when the shit storm ensues. But here’s the thing – if you are offended by white supremacy being called an existential threat, guess what? You’re a white supremacist.

During his address at Howard University’s commencement on Saturday (May 13), President Biden used the podium to assert that white supremacy is “the most dangerous terrorist threat” to America. Biden also recalled the story of how he decided to run for president in 2017 after seeing white supremacists march in Charlottesville.

“I don’t have to tell you that progress towards justice often meets ferocious pushback from the oldest and most sinister of forces,” Biden stated. “That’s because hate never goes away.” The President also acknowledged the disturbing nature of American history and how even though the right is working hard to erase it, its consequences are indelible.

Conservatives have accused Biden of using this moment at the HBCU to pander to Black folks and divide Americans but historian and educator Dr. Walter Greason tells The Root that the president’s commentary about racism is both vital and substantial in a broader historical context—especially considering the alarming number of hate crimes that happen in this country annually.

“For more than a decade the federal government has tracked the threat of racial terrorists—people who seek out to attack Jewish, African American, Asian American communities—because they perceive that white nationalism is the only legitimate culture in the United States,” Greason explains. “That [belief] predates the founding of the United States and holds the assumption that if you’re not white and Christian, you cannot be a citizen.

This is definitely true. President Biden is not wrong – white nationalism is very much an existential threat to the very fabric of the United States. But we cannot deny that there’s white nationalists in Congress and the Senate currently. People like Marjorie Greene, Lauren Boebert, Paul Gosar, and Tommy Tuberville are all people who have been brainwashed into being predominant members of the white nationalist Murdoch cult. We’re not saying that all Fox News viewers are racist, but all racists are Fox News viewers.

Raskin sent a letter to Comer, first reported by the Washington Post, calling on the committee’s Republican members to sign a resolution that “denounce[s] white nationalism and white supremacy in all its forms,” including a “Great Replacement” conspiracy theory that’s been repeatedly cited as a defense for acts of domestic terrorism.

The ranking member attached a resolution that’s already been signed by all of the committee’s Democratic members, which Raskin asked GOP committee members to now sign as well.

Raskin cited “dangerous and conspiratorial rhetoric that Republican committee members have made that “[borrow]
from” the “Great Replacement” theory as making it more necessary to emphasize that the Republican lawmakers denounce those ideologies, such as describing migrants arriving at the Southern border as an “invasion” and claiming the Biden Administration was “implementing a plan ‘to deliberately open our border’ for purposes of ‘changing our culture.’”

Though Raskin did not specify the lawmakers in his letter, committee members Boebert and Greene have described the influx of migrants as an “invasion,” the Post notes—along with other GOP lawmakers—while Rep. Paul Gosar (R-Ariz.) made the comment about immigrants “changing our culture.”

Well, we always say that if you have to ask, it’s probably racist. And yes, Marjorie Greene and Lauren Boebert could and should denounce white nationalism. Could have, would have, should have. But you know that they won’t. In fact, they’re very much a part of the problem. They’re not just denouncing rampant racism in the GOP, they’re openly boasting about how they’re proud Christian nationalists, and no, that’s not a good thing. But the key to stopping the rampant racism and sexism in the republican party is to call it out everywhere you see it. But you also can’t deny it’s a problem when some of the top members of the GOP have met with prominent white nationalists like neo Nazi influencer Nick Fuentes.

Conservative firebrand Nick Fuentes has had dinner with, posed for pictures alongside, and welcomed on stage at least a half dozen Republicans since becoming a star of the white nationalist movement.

Interactions with the America First Foundation leader have also prompted GOP politicians to deny knowing who Fuentes is and what he stands for. Embattled former President Donald Trump is currently trying to distance himself from Fuentes following a Thanksgiving holiday sit-down at Mar-a-Lago that included the rapper Ye, formerly known as Kanye West.

The Anti-Defamation League describes Fuentes as a white supremacist, anti-semite, and 2020 election-denier "who seeks to forge a white nationalist alternative to the mainstream GOP." Fuentes, who has been similarly decried by the Department of Justice and Simon Wiesenthal Center, also founded the far-right America First Political Action Conference in 2020 as an alternative to the Conservative Political Action Conference.

MSNBC host Rachel Maddow aired footage compiled by the Right Wing Watch project that shows Fuentes calling for a dictatorship to "force the people to believe what we believe."

So white nationalism was denounced by President Biden, but there’s a massive influence in Congress and it’s gaining popularity with young people. That’s enough to make you ask: White nationalism: How is this still a thing?

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[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner: The Guy Who Punked Alex Jones
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Welcome back to our segment that attempts to explain the unexplainable, Conspiracy Corner! Of course conspiracies exist when people simply don’t want to read the article past the headlines and just flat out make shit up. We of course are coming to you live from our underground doomsday shelter from deep within the New Mexico badlands. Undisclosed location, of course! Let me just adjust my trusty tin foil hat for maximum government interference. Ah, there we go! They are trying to read yours and my thoughts after all! So folks, you know that Infowars sits on the dark corners of the internet. It’s owned and operated by its’ main host, Alex Jones and is based in Austin, Texas. Well, the people who call into Infowars aren’t exactly what one would call “hinged”. In fact, they’re completely unhinged. As you know, Infowars uses clickbait fear mongering in an effort to sell z-grade vitamin supplements and water filters. Last week, we talked about how one caller managed to get through Infowars and spent several minutes convincing Alex Jones that he was recently fired Fox anchor Tucker Carlson. Well, after getting found out, it caused quite the shit show and it’s spectacular.

A Canadian prankster with a history of crank-calling conservative talk show hosts finally made his way to Alex Jones, using an AI-generated voice to pretend to be Tucker Carlson, paving the way for an extraordinary on-air monologue-cum-meltdown on Infowars Thursday. In his response to the call, Jones, who claims to be a bold truth-teller, lectured his audience about how it is not, in fact, funny to call him, pretend to be Tucker Carlson, and beseech him to “suck my titties.”

In a tweet on Wednesday, Chris James, a serial prankster who streams his under the name Prank Stallone, said he’d targeted Jones. (James shares his videos on Patreon, Twitch, YouTube, and a streaming platform called Means TV.)

“Okay so let’s say someone has Tucker Carlson’s cell number,” he tweeted, “and also Alex Jones’ cell phone number, and also an AI Tucker Carlson voice. They could IN THEORY call Alex Jones and pretend to be Tucker, and have a full conversation with him. Anyways I just did that.”

In a follow-up tweet, James added, “I was honestly caught off guard by how much he bought that it was Tucker. I ran out of clips.”

While the episode James was recording audio for has yet to air—it is set to debut Monday, and the world awaits with bated breath—Jones himself immediately responded publicly, in a 15-minute monologue on his show. It’s safe to say he did not see the humor.

“He stole Tucker Carlson’s identity,” Jones said. “He faked his number. He faked his voice. He called me and made sexual threats, basically. And he just thinks that’s funny. Because in his sociopathic world, I don’t exist. Alex Jones is fair game for any attacks. So is Tucker Carlson. We’re gonna find out who you’re working with, buddy.”

OK, so before we go any further, I just want to preface by saying that phishing and impersonation are crimes, and the official policy here at the Top 10 is – don’t do anything illegal, kids! Now that’s said – HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! Fuck you, Alex Jones! You know everyone in high school had that one teacher who had the shortest of fuses. Most of the time, they’re usually shop teachers, and I’m just saying. Well, anyway this story is another one of those that just gets weirder the more that you dig into it. And of course the conservative mantra to everything is “I’ll sue you”.

Infowars host and conspiracy theorist Alex Jones demanded a prankster appear on his show and answer for duping him with an AI-generated voice of former Fox News host Tucker Carlson.

To which the prankster responded, “I’m not going.”

Yesterday, internet prankster Chris James sent a tweet where he claimed to have pranked Jones.

“Okay so let’s say someone has Tucker Carlson’s cell number, and also Alex Jones’ cell phone number, and also an AI Tucker Carlson voice. They could IN THEORY call Alex Jones and pretend to be Tucker, and have a full conversation with him. Anyways I just did that.”

In the clip James shared, Jones said that what he did was a crime and that he needed to come on the show and “explain that his intent was not to be mean.”

“You need to understand that what you did is ‘not good.'”

Jones said that spoofing someone’s number could be a crime, although he added that he didn’t think Carlson would press charges. But, “it’s serious,” he said. James is based in Canada, which makes it unlikely charges could be brought.

OK this suddenly just got that much more interesting. This is more than just a prank call, it’s going to be the cause of a war between thin-skinned American conservatives and Canadian comedians. And these are the people who are constantly telling us to grow a pair. And that we need our own safe spaces. I am not in anyway, shape or form supporting Alex Jones on this. The guy is a monster and he needs to be taken down several pegs. Like the bully in a kids’ movie. I’m just amazed that he allowed someone with an independent thought to get through on his show.

A YouTuber and comedian named Chris James, who goes by the moniker Prank Stallone on Twitter, successfully used an AI voice of Tucker Carlson to trick Alex Jones on his Infowars show. The incident is getting a lot of attention and was escalated to the point where Jones called for James to be arrested.

James laid out the whole prank as it happened live. In his initial tweet, which has almost three million views as of this writing, he explained the premise of what he was doing.

James then tweeted a series of responses as things got increasingly more bonkers by the hour. He said he was “caught off guard” by how well his prank worked, and then he said, “It will be on the Monday episode of my show for anyone wondering.” The responses started pouring in, and it sounded like James was getting cold feet. “[People] keep commenting about me getting sued and how I should talk to lawyers. Best shut up or you’ll talk me out of posting it!” he said. This weirdly didn’t stem the tide.

“Okay too many retweets and replies, starting to stress me out. Muting notifications and hoping I don’t end up on the news.” Hmm, about that. It seems like at his heart, James is an artist who just wants people to enjoy his content. He does also seem genuinely surprised at all the attention he’s getting.

OK now here’s what you might be thinking – but Alex Jones is one of the key purveyors of internet misinformation and is one of the reasons why the United States is becoming more increasingly violent and hostile. Well, you might be right about that. But I think it’s hilarious that after 10+ years of selling violent, hateful rhetoric to the masses, Alex Jones is just *NOW* concerned about the fact that there might be misinformation on his show. Dude, we’ve been telling you that since day one! This is of course what happens when your brain is completely scrubbed by a media machine that sells right wing fearmongering on a 24/7/365 basis.

Conspiracy theorist Alex Jones expressed grave concern about the rise of misinformation on his InfoWars show on Thursday, after falling victim to a prank call from Canadian serial prankster, Chris James, who streams under the name “Prank Stallone.”

No stranger to the “fake news” phenomenon, conspiracy-peddler Jones was fooled by an AI-generated voice mimicking former Fox News host Tucker Carlson, but failed to see the funny side of the prank call.

In a tweet last Wednesday, James wrote: “Okay so let’s say someone has Tucker Carlson’s cell number, and also Alex Jones’ cell phone number, and also an AI Tucker Carlson voice. They could IN THEORY call Alex Jones and pretend to be Tucker, and have a full conversation with him. Anyways I just did that.”

In a follow-up tweet, James added, “I was honestly caught off guard by how much he bought that it was Tucker. I ran out of clips.”

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
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Hey everyone, I don’t know about you, but I could really use a drink!

So of course you know that the idea behind this segment is that we have some drinks, and while we’re drinking we literally discuss just about anything as long as it doesn’t involve politics. Because there is a lot of dark shit out there, and we think of the bar as a propaganda free zone. This week, you know, we’ve long been saying that social media will probably kill us all. And after five years of insane Tik Tok challenges that have resulted in people going to the ER, we think we’ve seen everything, right? Well, wrong! This latest Tik Tok trend is too strange to warrant proper words, so that’s why I think we need some stiff drinks. Tell me bartender, what goes well with a story about Fruit Roll Ups? A Fruit Roll Ups Bloody Mary? Well what’s in that? Yeah I’ll pass. I’ll just stick to my usual Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. I call it the “Double Jack”. So of course in the latest of strange social media trends, someone somewhere convinced people that it’s OK to sneak Fruit Roll Ups – yes, that sweet treat that’s basically pure sugar with some light fruit flavor, past airport security. Like OK, this might be one of those trends where I seriously think someone might just be plain fucking with us. Yeah sneak unauthorized snacks past security… it’s OK, folks!

A viral TikTok trend has led some Americans to become smugglers, not of drugs, but of a popular fruit snack.

A Facebook post by Israeli authorities confirmed that airport security checks led to the confiscation of 661 pounds of Fruit Roll-Ups, a fruit snack made by the company General Mills, in a single week.

The incident started with a viral TikTok video posted by the company showing that Fruit Roll-Ups freeze when wrapped around ice cream, creating a satisfying crunch.

The sweet snack became a popular trend in Israel, which led to a shortage of Fruit Roll-Ups. Now, American smugglers are attempting to profit off of the heightened demand.

Some smugglers were selling individually wrapped snacks for a whopping $8 a pop, while an entire box is roughly $3 in America.

OK that just sounds fucking gross. Who came up with this idea? A bunch of 12 year olds? But here’s where it gets weird – as if that wasn’t apparent enough already - apparently Isreal is a favorite target of those who are smuggling the sweet treats past security. And the airport security agents in Tel Aviv aren’t having any of it. In fact, Isreal may be setting a record of how much of the treats are being smuggled through airport security. So far, to date, the agents have confiscated over 1,000 pounds of the stuff, that’s right – 1,000 pounds. Like what the actual fuck???

Apparently, it's tough to find Fruit Roll-Ups in Israel right now. Two American couples were recently stopped by customs at the airport when entering the country, after it was discovered that they were trying to smuggle in more than hundreds of pounds of Fruit Roll-Ups, according to Food & Wine. Between the four tourists, customs officials have confiscated over 650 pounds worth of the snack.

For context, Fruit Roll-Ups are having their it-girl moment over on TikTok right now. Some people are eating the after-school snack frozen, or with ice cream. Others claim that they are eating the candy with the plastic wrapper still on. Don't do that. But in Israel, Fruit Roll-Ups are nowhere to be found on grocery shelves, meaning that people are asking family members to bring the snacks over from the states.

Some of these videos have over 1 million likes, so it is evident that this dessert trend has captured the interest of people all over the world. For anyone feeling left out of this trend, or having a hard time finding Fruit Roll-Ups at the grocery store, I have a suggestion for you: Try literally any other dessert.

Oh yeah that’s the stuff! But 1 million likes? Holy shit, I’m starting to think the users of Tik Tok need a hobby, or at the very least need an activity that revolves around something other than their phones, because these challenges are getting weirder and weirder. And it’s not stopping either. Imagine being an airport security agent in Isreal and you have to deal with these dipshits on a regular basis. “Oh no, not this crap again!!!”. But really, where the hell does one acquire 375 pounds of Fruit Roll Ups and why are you spending money on this stuff? I swear social media has shown us that there’s no bottom to the depths of humanity.

Who knew Fruit Roll-Ups were popular in Israel? In probably one of the strangest Customs discoveries, an American couple was caught trying to take 375 pounds of the snack time favorite into the country. Stuffed to the brim in three large suitcases, a video shared to Twitter shows Customs agents sifting through the packs of Fruit Roll-Ups to check if their suspicions were... fruitful.

Whether or not the couple were smuggling is unclear. According to USA Today, visitors are only allowed to bring food items as personal gifts, and the total value mustn’t exceed $200. *Watches video again* Yeah, definitely looks like more than $200 in Fruit Loops. My guess is that the Americans thought that bringing 375 pounds of candy was legal. I mean, it’s just candy after all.

However, they probably didn't consider that the candy might contain ingredients that are illegal. Legality aside, as the Customs agent checks each suitcase, you can tell that behind his stoic reaction, he’s just itching to grab a handful.

As of now, it’s unclear whether the couple got in further trouble, or simply had their suitcases of candy confiscated. All I know is, somebody had to take some of dem thangs home with them.

Yeah just dump the whole bottle in the margarita mix, we don’t care! So this is an interesting dilemma – Fruit Roll Ups are popular in Isreal, but they aren’t sold there. But people, look. Don’t commit crimes just to get likes on social media. That shit isn’t cool. I’m sure the airport security agents and local police don’t want to put up with that bullshit, either. Much like ER doctors saw people who ate Tide Pods and were like “oh no, it’s this shit again!”. But don’t expect this to end anytime soon. With some videos reaching over one million likes, you know that it’s only a matter of time before someone attempts to smuggle Fruit Roll Ups and ice cream past airport security again. I need some more drinks!

A viral TikTok trend has led some Americans to become smugglers, not of drugs, but of a popular fruit snack.

A Facebook post by Israeli authorities confirmed that airport security checks led to the confiscation of 661 pounds of Fruit Roll-Ups, a fruit snack made by the company General Mills, in a single week.

The incident started with a viral TikTok video posted by the company showing that Fruit Roll-Ups freeze when wrapped around ice cream, creating a satisfying crunch.

The sweet snack became a popular trend in Israel, which led to a shortage of Fruit Roll-Ups. Now, American smugglers are attempting to profit off of the heightened demand.

Some smugglers were selling individually wrapped snacks for a whopping $8 a pop, while an entire box is roughly $3 in America.

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Stupidest State 2022: The Final Four
[br] [/font]

16 states will enter and only one state will become the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

We are here, folks! The Final Four is set! Representing the Batshit Conference, #1 seed Florida! From the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, #3 Ohio! From the Gun Nut Conference, #2 Missouri! And last but certainly not least, from the Family Values Conference, #1 Tennessee! Two of these states will advance to next week’s championship bout! And we will be live from Staples Center in Los Angeles with all of the post season festivities! But for this week, it’s two matches as the Layover League Championship puts #1 Florida against #3 Ohio, while the Flyover League Championship puts #2 Missouri against #1 Tennessee, and I don’t need to tell you that this is shaping up to be one of the most exciting Final Four matchups that we’ve ever seen! We’re live at the home of the Detroit Red Wings, the fabulous Little Caesar’s Arena, with all the exciting action! Let’s go to the floor, shall we?

[font size="4"]Layover League Championship: Florida Vs Ohio [/font]

[font size="2"]Florida [/font]

The Sunshine State, what are we going to do with you? Florida continues to gain more GOP fans and they continue to sink themselves to the bottom of the Marianus Trench. Ever since electing Ron DeSantis, Florida is continuing to see how far they’re willing to go to circle the bottom of the drain and he just keeps pushing the boundaries of how far his brand of right wing authoritarianism can go. Let’s take a look at his ongoing feud with Disney, which this week, has reached some really strange new heights, specifically involving the 2021 kids’ movie Strange World. Well, Desantis’ bizarre crusade to undo all things “woke” may have caused him to step in it really good.

A Florida teacher is under investigation by the state's Department of Education after she showed her students a Disney movie that features a gay character.

Jenna Barbee, who teaches fifth grade in the Hernando County School District, says a student's mother lodged a complaint with education officials after Barbee showed the film Strange World in her classroom.

Barbee said the movie focuses on humans' relationship to the environment, which was why she chose to show it to her class after a section on ecosystems, plants and animals. She said a subplot about a boy having a crush on another boy never crossed her mind before screening the film.
"It talks about love to all things, and that's literally what this movie represents," Barbee told NPR. "I find it interesting that now I'm getting in trouble for a similar topic."

And get this – they’re actually going so far as to even interrogate the students. For watching a fucking kids movie. Because that movie had a gay character in it. The GOP, and especially the Florida GOP is very quickly circling the drain. We don’t want to point fingers as to how they got there, but it’s pretty easy to see that right wing talk radio and Fox News are dominating the scene in many Florida cities, particularly the Villages, which has become a flat out bastion of MAGA supporters.

Florida has become the nerve center of the modern Republican Party.

Once the nation’s largest and most volatile swing state, Florida has lurched to the right in recent years, becoming a mecca for the GOP’s most influential luminaries and wealthiest donors.

Republicans now hold supermajorities in the state legislature, and Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) has solidified his grip on the reins of political power in the state, turning Florida into a laboratory for conservative policy experiments. For the first time since Reconstruction, there’s not a single Democrat in statewide elected office.

But Florida’s transition from coveted political battleground to the premier haven of modern conservatism has been decades in the making, owing to a perfect storm of demographic changes, Republican power plays, pandemic politics and Democratic missteps, according to more than a dozen strategists, experts and officials interviewed by The Hill.

“Republicans focused on the ultimate goal,” said Fernand Amandi, a Miami-based Democratic pollster who helped former President Barack Obama win the state in 2008 and 2012. “They thought things out in 10-year cycles. They built a permanent campaign apparatus. They started recruiting candidates to run for local office and springboarding them into higher office. They registered voters and managed the margins.”

[font size="2"]Ohio [/font]

Ohio. The Buckeye State. Like Florida, it used to be a very volatile swing state, but in recent years has been flipped to leaning heavily conservative. But why has Ohio got so crazy in recent years? Well part of it really has to do with a certain news network that right wingers watch and patronize on a very daily basis, and they are addicted to it. In fact the Fox News culture wars are very quickly writing policy for a large number of states across the US. But this again is why we have to point out how important it is to get involved in local politics and to find out who’s running for what office. Because your local offices could be switched to Fox News bots and then it will be hard to get rid of them.

Between debates on an income tax cut and the cost of educating children, Ohio's Republican-controlled Legislature is waging culture wars on everything from abortion and guns to transgender medical treatments.

Polling suggests Americans care far more about inflation, the cost of living and immigration than abortion, guns, religious declines or LGBTQ rights, according to a recent Gallup poll of the nation's most important problems.

But that doesn't stop social issues from dominating debates at the Ohio Statehouse. Here are some of the recent proposals:

The biggest threat to abortion access in Ohio is actually a proposal to make it more difficult to amend the state constitution.

Ohio's Republican lawmakers revived several proposals affecting transgender children, including restrictions on medical treatments and participation in sports.

Yes, you are watching Fox. We’re concerned about the rising fascism that’s taking over this country, they’re concerned about the bullshit they heard on Hannity last night. And by the way, the conservative war on education is heating up, and it’s taken hold at Ohio’s two best colleges. The ever popular The Ohio State University (yes, we can’t forget the The) and Toledo University. Both of these colleges are at the forefront of an expanding conservative war on education in which of course, the snowflakes can’t handle opposing opinions and think that everyone who’s not a rich white man is out to get them. Excuse me while I go find the world’s smallest violin. But we can’t overlook that this shit is alarming and it may be coming to a university near you!

Our state's senate has been active lately — taking after other states, introducing bills that would make Ohio a harder place to live and thrive for marginalized people.

In the latest attack on education, Sen. Jerry C. Cirino introduced Senate Bill 83, a comprehensive attack on higher education.

From prohibiting diversity, equity, and inclusion trainings for university employees and students, to prohibiting collective bargaining, Senate Bill 83 is an attempt to radically skew oversight of higher education, truncate the self-leadership of Ohio’s universities and colleges, and shortchange the university experience.


Universities are where people go to explore ideas, ideologies, and have a free flow of thought and dialogue. Students enter university for the purpose of education and to gain a better understanding of themselves and the world around them. Higher education is often an economic driver, a catalyst for innovation, and propels the values of free speech, free thought, and active dialogue.


[font size="2"]And The Winner Is: [/font]

Oh there’s absolutely no contest here again. But Ohio isn’t going down without a fight. They trail by 5 with less than a minute left to go… Florida has the ball… YES! Now the rebound… for three! Oh Florida is now up by ten with 30 seconds to go… they have the ball and a foul has been called. First basket in… it’s good! Second… YES!!!! And that’s all she wrote, folks! Florida has sealed the Layover League championship, they will move onto the final round! Final score: 97 – 88! Cut that net, guys! You earned it!

[font size="4"]Flyover League Championship: Tennessee Vs Missouri [/font]

[font size="4"]Tennessee [/font]

The Volunteer State is another state that is being ripped apart by Fox News bullshit. It may be the home of the Smoky Mountains, the Music City (Nashville), and the home of Elvis Presley, but it is also the home of some really ugly policies. You may have been following the recent story of the “Tennessee 3” being expelled from the state house of representatives and the fallout that’s been a result of that particular scandal that propelled Tennessee to the top of the Flyover League pack. Well, it’s no mistake that scandal has had a massive impact on the Volunteer State. Yes, Tennessee, the one state in the country that actually does judge you by the color of your skin.

Tennessee state Rep. Justin Jones (D-Nashville) said his race played a role in his expulsion from the state House on Thursday.

“I basically had a member call me an uppity Negro,” Jones, who is Black, told MSNBC’s Joy Reid after the 72-25 vote that expelled him.

Tennessee state Rep. Justin Jones (D-Nashville) said his race played a role in his expulsion from the state House on Thursday.

“I basically had a member call me an uppity Negro,” Jones, who is Black, told MSNBC’s Joy Reid after the 72-25 vote that expelled him.

Yeah so that happened. And don’t worry, governor Bill Lee is giving the state plenty of material it needs to circle the drain and potentially win Stupidest State championships from here until the end of time! By the way, so in case you’re wondering how much Tennessee cares about the youth of this country, they’re not doing much in the way of protecting them. Instead, guess what they’re protecting? That’s right – the guns. Doesn’t matter if your kid gets killed at school or they get interrogated by the government for watching a movie with a gay character. It’s all about those precious, precious guns!

Tennesse Gov. Bill Lee (R) called on the state legislature to convene for a special legislative session focused on gun reform and public safety, just one month following a school shooting in Nashville.

Lee's office made the announcement on Tuesday, adding that the session will begin on August 21.

The governor's office also noted that Lee will meet with legislators, stakeholders and local residents throughout the summer to discuss practical solutions ahead of the special session.

"After speaking with members of the General Assembly, I am calling for a special session on August 21 to continue our important discussion about solutions to keep Tennessee communities safe and preserve the constitutional rights of law-abiding citizens," Lee said in a statement.

Read more at: https://www.bellinghamherald.com/news/politics-government/article275225706.html#storylink=cpy

[font size="4"]Missouri [/font]

The Show Me State – like most of the states in our Final Four – are states that are being run by legislatures whose minds have been warped by a particular news network. Yes, of course, I’m referring to the “We Report, You Decide” network. Fox. And the legislation that’s being passed in the state house obviously has to do with the Fox outrage du jour – trans people. And the legislation that’s being passed, kind of borders on genocide. With maybe some light doxing involved. Yeah, they’re basically making this shit legal and it’s not going away anytime soon. The point we’re making here? Stop watching Fox News, that shit is bad for you!

A Missouri government tip site for submitting complaints and concerns about gender-affirming care is down after people flooded it with fanfiction, rambling anecdotes and the “Bee Movie” script.

The Missouri Attorney General’s office launched an online form for “Transgender Center Concerns” in late March, inviting those who’ve witnessed “troubling practices” at clinics that provide gender-affirming care to submit tips. The site didn’t ask users to name patients or healthcare providers, but encouraged users to complete the form “in as much detail as possible.”

But after days of TikTok and Twitter users spamming the site with gibberish, the tip line has been removed from the Missouri government site entirely. Instead of the online form, the link to the tip line now says that the page no longer exists.

Madeline Sieren, press secretary for Missouri Attorney General Andrew Bailey, blamed “far left activists” for breaking the site. She said the tip line is down temporarily.


Thank you Nelson! This one battle may have been won, but the war is far from over! I love when smart, creative people use their powers for good instead of evil. And this was definitely a step in the right direction. Although look for fans of the St. Louis Blues hockey team to burn their jerseys and seasons tickets because they’re hosting a Pride Night in June! Yeah we’ll be seeing that soon enough! But we can’t overlook that they’re very actively helping in Rupert Murdoch’s grotesquely evil war on education, I mean come on, they’re defunding libraries. The stupid in this country is just getting worse. Want to know how you get Idiocracy? This is how.

Missouri’s Republican-led House voted to cut all funding for libraries in its version of the state’s annual budget, an unprecedented move that has angered librarians and patrons across the state who rely on the facilities for everything from books to educational programming and internet access.

The proposal is not yet final; it now sits before the state Senate’s appropriations committee along with the rest of the annual $45.6 billion budget, and Republican chair Sen. Lincoln Hough said it would be his intention to restore library funding.

But for those who manage or use the state’s 160 library districts, especially in rural areas where services are not as robust, the threat feels real, librarians and patrons told the PBS NewsHour.

[font size="2"]And The Winner Is: [/font]

Folks, we got something brewing here. Tennessee was ahead in the first half, but Missouri has surged and they have done the impossible. They have scored a whopping 17 unanswered points and are in command going into the last minute. We have 10 seconds to go… Missouri for three… It’s good! It’s good! Missouri has done the impossible and they have knocked off the champs! They are going to face Florida in the final round! Holy shit, do you believe in miracles? Missouri is celebrating on the court, they are going to the final round! Final score: 88 – 85! Cut that net guys, you earned it!

[font size="4"]Next Week: [/font]

It’s the Stupidest State Grand Championships! Florida. Missouri. We are live from the home of champions – the Los Angeles Lakers and Kings - the legendary Staples Center (do I really have to call it Crypto.com Arena? Because fuck crypto)! We’re there with the trophy presentation, the champagne celebration, the net cutting, and of course our favorite song – One Shining Moment! The champagne is on ice!

[font size="4"]And Now This: [/font]
[font size="4"]Iggy Pop & The Losers[/font]

Folks, my next musical guest is a legendary punk rocker from Michigan, his latest album is called “Every Loser” and you can see him at the Cruel World Festival in Pasadena May 20th. Playing his song “Modern Age Ripoff”, give it up for Iggy Pop & The Losers!

All right folks, we are back next week with our May season finale and the Stupidest State Grand Championships! See you next week!


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