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Thu May 11, 2023, 05:00 PM

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #14-14: Wheel Of Corruption: Quantumania Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #14-14: Wheel Of Corruption: Quantumania Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Yo! What’s up, San Francisco? How are you guys doing? You doing fucking good? Yeah this is a weird change of venues, isn’t it? We’re at the SF Convention Center, this isn’t really a place for comedy! This is where people come to see trade exhibits for big corporations. And then there’s our crappy little program! But hey, we’ve got 3 more Top 10s including this one before we call it a season, which means that next week’s is that episode before the big season finale. And trust us, we’ve got some exciting things planned for seasons 15 and 16. What happens beyond season 16? We’re not sure yet but we’ll keep you posted! Do we have time for the thing? Of course we do! It’s my show, damn it! So Mother’s Day is this weekend. Is everybody ready for the occasion? No? I like how the one guy in the front row is quick to shout out “NO!”. But have you noticed that the advertising blitz surrounding Mother’s Day continues to get more ridiculous every single year? Like I got one from Lenovo last week that said “Show mom you love her with the purchase of a new Legion gaming laptop!”. Yeah real good, guys! You got my mom’s taste down! My mom barely uses her computer as it is, and doesn’t do much gaming beyond Words With Friends! Come on. I even got one from a window tinting place. Yeah show mom you love her with the gift of window tinting! That doesn’t sound right, does it? it’s just so damn weird. Ha ha ha, that’s right, sir! OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to! But first John Oliver is back and he talks about what Biden is actually doing at the Border vs the shit that was made up for Fox News viewers:

Hey everyone, it’s time for the famous WHEEL OF CORRUPTION!!! YAY!!!! So where do we begin this week? Taking the number one slot this week is easily Fox News. Yes, unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably heard about last week’s abrupt firing of Tucker Carlson (which we briefly reported on last week), but now the conspiracies are flying fast and furious! In the second slot this week is the Montana House Of Representatives (2). Yes, this state house, which is dominated by conservatives, has been harassing and finally just ousted rep. Zooey Zephyr, because… wait for it, she is trans. Yes, the hate coming from the right wing is getting worse and worse. In the third slot this week is the reigning king of Florida Men, Ron DeSantis (3). Yes, since most of his policies are now grossly unpopular, he’s resorting to his old feud with Disney, though it’s backfiring on him in colossally spectacular ways! In the number 4 slot this week is that guy who we inexplicably used to call president – Donald J. Trump (4) and if you thought the first phase of his NFT trading card series was ridiculous, just wait until you see what he's got in store for phase II! Taking the fifth slot this week is our segment “Good Guys With Guns” (5) and we’ve got an absolutely batshit crazy situation unfolding in Texas. It started with a guy who went crazy and murdered his family, and Greg Abbott in his infinite wisdom, issued a good old fashioned statewide manhunt! Yeah, nothing like getting the gun nuts all riled up! Taking the 6th slot this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and we’re going to take a look at some of the ways that the church is going full on authoritarian, and we can’t help but think that they’re planning something extremely evil if they get back in the White House. In the number 7 slot this week, we’ve got a new “Beating A Dead Horse” (7), and look, we’re never going to settle the trans debate anytime soon, so we’re going to take a look at two very different sides of the issue stemming from two very different rock stars – on the left is Dee Snider from Twisted Sister, and on the right, well, Ted Nugent. And you can pretty much guess Ted’s stance. In the number 8 slot this week is our segment that dives into the world of internet tin foil hat nuttery in Conspiracy Corner (8) and this week we’ve got highlights from CPAC 2023 in Hungary where populism and conspiracy theories are running wild! Yeah literally nothing good can come of that! Taking the number 9 (NEIN!!) slot this week is a new People Are Dumb (9) because of course they are! Finally this week, it’s time for Stupidest State 2023! This week it’s Round 2 Week 4 which means that it’s the Family Values Conference finals! Tennessee. Utah. One of these two states will advance to the Final Four! We’re live at the home of the Washington Capitols, the Wells Fargo Arena in Washington DC with all the exciting action! Plus to close things out, we’ve got live music from the San Francisco punk rock legends NOFX! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Tucker Carlson
[br] [/font]

Hey kids, it’s time for the: WHEEL. OF. CORRUPTION!!! YAY!!!!

Of course you know the rules by now – I spin the wheel and we have to talk about whatever the subject it lands on. Of course if it lands on the guacamole option, you know that it costs $1.50 extra. And the wheel is all new with lots of items on it! Here’s what is on the wheel this week:

- Guns
- Crime
- Abortion
- Poverty
- Disney
- The Insurrection
- Treason
- Buy A Vowel
- Donald Trump
- Midterm Elections
- Clip Without Context
- 5,000
- Nazi Germany
- Fox News
- ‘Merica
- My Pillow
- Bankrupt
- Chance
- Fox News
- Something Random In The News
- Whammy
- Community Chest
- Death
- Homosexuality
- The US Constitution
- Greed
- Clip Without Context
- Top 10 Investigates
- Beating A Dead Horse
- This Fucking Guy
- Intermission
- Holy Shit
- A Random Tweet
- World Tour 2022
- Double Whammy
- Buy A Vowel
- Conspiracy Corner
- Random Movie Reference
- Guacamole
- 10,000
- People Are Dumb
- I Need A Drink
- Infowars
- Go Directly To Jail
- Random TV Reference
- T-Shirt Cannon
- Infowars
- People Who Somehow Got Elected
- COVID-19
- Lightning Round
- Bonus Spin

Let’s give the wheel a good, strong spin, shall we? And it lands on… wait for it… oh hey it’s one of our patented Clips Without Context!

That’s what she said! That’s what she said! That’s what she said! OK, I had to get that one out of my system. Spin it again! And it lands on… Fox News!

That’s right – last week, we reported that the “We Report, You Decide” network is in, to use technical terms, some deep doo doo. As such, they’ve begun the process of clearing house after the results of the Dominion suit cost them nearly $1 billion dollars. And the Smartmatic suit hasn’t even begun yet, either – they could finish the job. Well, the one thing we were absolutely shocked to learn as we were going to air last week’s edition is that they parted ways with racist hatemonger Tucker Carlson. Yes, Mr. Testicle Tanner himself is now no longer a part of the network. Well, not only that, the speculation surrounding exactly why he got fired went flying on the internet. There was so much rampant speculation that it was nearly impossible to separate fact from fiction. And it’s like the late, great Phil Hartman said “There’s the truth, and then there’s the TRUTH”. So we’re going to try and do the latter and find out what the “TRUTH” is surrounding his firing. And this is getting weirder, nuttier, and creepier the more that you look into this story. And no, we don’t need the Tucker reaction camera for this one. His show got canceled, why are you still here?

In a newly revealed text message, ousted Fox News host Tucker Carlson made a racist comment and said he found himself briefly rooting for a mob of Trump supporters to kill a person.

“A couple of weeks ago, I was watching video of people fighting on the street in Washington,” Carlson texted a producer. “A group of Trump guys surrounded an Antifa kid and started pounding the living s**t out of him. It was three against one, at least. Jumping a guy like that is dishonorable obviously. It’s not how white men fight. Yet suddenly I found myself rooting for the mob against the man, hoping they’d hit him harder, kill him. I really wanted them to hurt the kid. I could taste it.”

Carlson sent the text message to one of his producers in the hours after the violent January 6, 2021, insurrection on Capitol Hill. The message was redacted in court filings and was just one of several private conversations collected in the lawsuit filed by Dominion Voting Systems against Fox News, a source familiar with the matter confirmed to CNN. The text was first reported by the New York Times.

The text message alarmed Fox’s board of directors and played a role in Carlson’s abrupt firing last month, the Times reported.

Yes, that’s a good question – what’s wrong with you? Here’s the thing, and I can’t believe that in 2023, I still have to say this, but it must be said. If you don’t want to get pegged as a racist, then stop saying racist stuff! Shit, remember when the founder of Papa John’s, John Schnatter, said that he had to take lessons so that he would stop using the “n” word? Yeah that happened (see: Top 10 #10-7 ). The moral of the story here, is that if you have to ask, it’s probably racist. Also sexist. In fact this story is so insane that we could spend all day talking about it, and devote all 10 slots, but we don’t have that kind of time! And we have to please the affiliates too. But it’s caused Fox to go into major damage control mode.

Late last week, we revealed previously unreported text exchanges between Tucker Carlson and “straight news” anchor Bret Baier shortly after the 2020 election, in which the pair schemed on how to win back pissed-off MAGA viewers.

Fox News doesn’t want anyone seeing such texts, apparently, as they’ve now sent irate letters to Dominion lawyers demanding they put an end to the leaks of previously unreleased or redacted discovery material.

But we’ve got some more of those texts to share.

In the Tucker-Baier texts Confider reported, the pair worried Fox could be “destroyed” by the network’s early but accurate Arizona call, with Carlson adding: “I’ve got four more years here. I’m stuck with Fox. Got to do whatever I can to keep our numbers up and our viewers happy.”

Being chained to Fox was apparently a common theme for Carlson, as newly revealed texts from less than a month later show him complaining about Trump’s election-fraud lies hurting the right-wing cause: “It’s so sad. He’s going to break some shit. He already is. Wish I knew where to run. But I’ll die here.”

Yeah so that happened. And I’m not even going to get into the guy that managed to punk Alex Jones into pretending that he was Tucker Carlson. In fact, we’re saving that for next week’s Conspiracy Corner because it is a fucking hilarious story that needs more space to be able to properly tell it, and Alex Jones reminds me of a teacher I had in high school that had the shortest of fuses and was very easily punked. And by the way, you know how the MAGA world is still hung up on bullshit culture war issues like gas stoves, M&Ms, and Bud Light? Well maybe this is how we finally bring down Fox News. I have always said that the people who are going to be the ones to take Fox News out are its’ own viewer base.

Hundreds of thousands of Fox News viewers are reacting to Tucker Carlson’s firing by abandoning the network in his old time slot — at least temporarily.

Fox drew 1.33 million viewers for substitute host Brian Kilmeade in the 8 p.m. Eastern hour on Wednesday night, putting the network second to MSNBC’s Chris Hayes in a competition Carlson used to dominate, the Nielsen company said.

That’s down 56% from the 3.05 million viewers Carlson reached last Wednesday, Nielsen said. For all of 2022, Carlson averaged 3.03 million viewers, second only to Fox’s “The Five” as the most popular program on cable television.

Carlson offered his own alternative to Kilmeade on Wednesday, posting a two-minute monologue on Twitter at 8 p.m. By Thursday afternoon, that video had been viewed 62.7 million times, according to Twitter.

Thank you Nelson! But we’re not going to dance on the grave of Fox News just yet. I do have to say that watching the conservative meltdown and resulting circular firing squad that’s developed as a result while hosting a traveling comedy show has been great. In fact, we’re truly loving every minute of this clusterfuck. And next week, we’ll go further into his plans to bring down Fox from within. But this is one of those instances where the bad guys win again. Because Tucker is going straight from his safe space at Fox News… to a new safe space on Twitter, where he can be even more racist without fears of the FCC hammer coming down on him. Yeah thanks, Elon.
Right-wing extremist Tucker Carlson announced Tuesday that he will relaunch his program on Twitter, which he praised as the only remaining large free-speech platform in the world after Fox News fired him late last month.

Carlson made the announcement in a video posted to the social media website, which Elon Musk acquired last year. Musk said Twitter did not sign an agreement with Carlson for his new show.

Twitter has devolved in recent months into a chaotic platform where the traditional press has come under assault from the billionaire.

“Speech is the fundamental pre-requisite for democracy. That’s why it was enshrined in the first of our Constitutional amendments,” Carlson said. “Amazingly, as of tonight, there are not that many platforms left that allow free speech. The last big one remaining … is Twitter, where we are now.”

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[font size="8"]Montana House Of Representatives
[br] [/font]

Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… oh hey look! It’s time for one of our patented Clips Without Context!

Wow, a religious conservative lying their holier than thou ass off? I’m shocked, shocked! Well… not that shocked. Spin it again! And it lands on… MAGA Republicans.

Folks, I don’t need to tell you that it looks like the MAGA world has something really terrible planned if they get back into power in 2024 and beyond. The rhetoric that’s being spewed by the right on a 24 hour a day, 7 day a week is becoming increasingly more hostile and violent. The legislation that’s being constructed and passed at an alarming rate is becoming increasingly more hateful. If they get back into power in 2024, we have to be prepared that they will commit some egregious crimes against humanity that will have the rest of the world watching in horror. So why am I bringing this up, you might ask? I answer you good sir or madam, because their targets right now are the LGBT community and especially the T’s. One of the T’s in particular is Montana rep. Zooey Zephyr, who has been the subject of a carefully targeted online hate and harassment campaign, and trust us, it’s the stuff of sheer insanity the more you dig into this story.

Montana House Republicans ban Rep. Zooey Zephyr from House chamber for remainder of legislative session

Montana’s Republican-dominated House voted Wednesday to ban Rep. Zooey Zephyr, who had said GOP lawmakers would have “blood” on their hands for passing bills restricting transgender rights and rallied protesters Monday after Speaker Matt Regier blocked her from being recognized to speak, from the House chamber for the remainder of this year’s legislative session.

Under the disciplinary measure approved on a 68-32 vote Wednesday, Zephyr – the 34-year-old Democrat from Missoula who last year became the first openly transgender woman elected to Montana’s legislature – will be allowed to retain her seat and cast votes remotely. But she will not be able to participate in debates. The session is scheduled to end next week.

The move by Montana Republicans comes just weeks after two Democratic lawmakers in Tennessee were expelled over their protests on the House floor demanding action to address gun violence after a mass shooting at a Nashville school. It’s the latest example of a Republican-dominated state legislature restricting who can be heard – and what can be said – about policy debates that minority Democrats in the state view as matters of life and death.


Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! There’s simply no reason for this in 2023, this is pure, raw, unfiltered hatred. And it’s all stemming from the dark corners of the internet too, I’m looking at you, Infowars and 4chan. So rather than give Ms. Zephyr a voice, what does the Montana Christian MAGA Fox News Taliban decide to do? They decide to simply cancel any and all upcoming sessions to avoid talking to her. Yeah this is totally insane and it’s a definite “fuck you” from the holier than thou ones to the trans community, who already put up with enough hate and harassment in modern society.

The Montana House canceled its floor session on Tuesday as Republican leadership determines its next steps following Monday’s protest in the chamber that led to the arrests of seven people.

House Speaker Matt Regier, R-Kalispell, held a brief news conference Tuesday morning in which he said Monday was “a dark day” for the state and admonished members of the Montana press for how it characterized his handling of Rep. Zooey Zephyr, D-Missoula, on the House floor during the past week. He said “the entire story was not told.”

“Headlines that have happened over the last week stating that the Montana House leadership or GOP has silenced anyone is false,” Regier said. “Currently, all representatives are free to participate in House debate while following the House rules. The choice not to follow House rules is one that Representative Zephyr has made. The only person silencing Representative Zephyr is Representative Zephyr.”

He said that the House “will not be bullied” and that he will continue to treat all members of the chamber “the same,” then walked back into his office without taking questions.

A spokesperson for House Republicans came out minutes later to say the House floor session had been canceled, which the House sergeant-at-arms had already confirmed.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Sigh… this is why we can’t have nice things. In case you’re wondering what district Rep. Zephyr represents – it’s a very small section of the state capitol of Helena that was the byproduct of some very heavy gerrymandering during the Bush years. And it’s another reminder of how gerrymandering can be used for good as well as evil. The other reason this story is backfiring is that it has made her famous, and this will come back to bite the hatemongerers in the ass hard. In fact even the businesses in the district that she represents are already hopping mad at the State House because they essentially have no representation.

While Rep. Zooey Zephyr is being restricted from speaking and attending the current Montana House session in person, her constituents in House District 100 have lost their voice as well.

There are several businesses in House District 100, which covers a section of Brooks Street, reaches the University District, and is bordered by Third Street and South Avenue.

Many of the people at these businesses are now concerned about their lack of representation in Helena.
"My thing is, it seems like a gross injustice to the 10,000-some people that live in this district," Jason Black, co-owner of Golden Leaf Studios on Kent Ave, says. "That the voice that they voted in to represent them is not allowed to even speak."

Some individuals felt strongly in support of Zephyr and her campaign, like Black and Sharlyssa Duncan, co-owners of Golden Leaf Studios, who display various pro-LGBTQ+ rights posters in their storefront window.

Yeah I can live with that. But the thing is, this story isn’t going to go away any time soon. In fact they’re just getting started. Look, we keep talking about the dangers of the GOP going full fascist and they’re starting to show. Don’t think that what happened in countries like Myanmar and Hungary couldn’t happen here. In fact they are happening. And by the time a full fascist government is formed, it’s too late to do anything about it, and your complaints will be silenced. At least be glad that we still have an ace up our sleeve and that people like Rep. Zephyr will still come out ahead, while the hatemongers will be shown the door.

The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) sued Montana and its Republican House Speaker on Monday, accusing them of violating a Democratic transgender legislator's First Amendment rights by barring her from the House floor after she protested a bill banning gender-affirming healthcare for minors.

Montana's governor signed the bill into law on Friday, two days after the Republican House majority voted to censure Zooey Zephyr and exclude her from the House chamber for the rest of the legislative session for saying in an April 18 floor debate that denying such care would lead to more suicides.

"If you vote yes on this bill... I hope the next time there's an invocation when you bow your heads in prayer, you see the blood on your hands," Zephyr said in the debate. Republicans accused her of violating decorum.

The ACLU filed its lawsuit on Monday in Montana's First Judicial District Court in the County of Lewis and Clark on behalf of Zephyr and four of her constituents, alleging that barring her from the House floor for her comments "extinguishes a vital part of the job her constituents elected her to do."


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[font size="8"]Ron DeSantis
[br] [/font]

Now entering the spin cycle! Come on, no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… STOP! And it lands on… Disney!

Disney now owns that joke, by the way! Spin it again! And it lands on… Florida! Folks, what do Florida and Disney have in common? Well, they have our old buddy Ron DeSantis (Q – Florida Man). A man whose growing insanity and penchant to be part of the cool kids’ club on right wing social media and talk show circles knows no boundaries. Well, we’ve been covering the ongoing feud all season and it’s getting weird. And yes, in case you’re wondering, it’s a preview of where American fascism is headed – the inevitable merger of government agencies with free enterprise. Like some kind of fucked up T-1000 robot. Well, DeSantis may have stepped in it again, not like he doesn’t do that on a somewhat daily basis because the feud between the state of Florida and Walt Disney Corporation is pure insanity. When we last left off, Disney had hosted one of the largest LGBT gatherings in the country just to spite DeSantis, which of course cheesed him off. So how does he initiate payback? Well, the most Florida way possible.

Disney on Monday amended its free speech lawsuit against Gov. Ron DeSantis to add recent developments in the tit-for-tat fight between the entertainment giant and the Florida governor, such as a new law granting the state unprecedented authority to inspect a monorail system at Disney World.

Disney’s amended complaint filed in federal court in Tallahassee is updated with developments since the entertainment giant almost two weeks ago sued DeSantis and an oversight board for the Disney World governing district that is made up of members newly appointed by the governor.

The new complaint references legislation passed last week by Florida lawmakers that rescinds agreements that Disney and a previous oversight board consisting of Disney supporters made earlier this year, giving the entertainment giant control over design and construction at Disney World. The amended lawsuit also includes the new measure passed last week by Florida lawmakers giving the state authority to inspect Disney World’s monorail system, which previously had been conducted in-house.

Disney is the only company impacted by the new measure and it “was precision-engineered to target Disney alone, just as Governor DeSantis intended and previewed,” said the amended lawsuit.

Yeah so this is only going to get worse. We could do the logical thing and have Desantis and his cronies voted out of office and arrested for abusing their power, but we don’t have time for rational solutions, damn it! And yes, this is an egregious abuse of power by Desantis and his band of abusers and ass kissers. So guess what the new board of directors at Reedy Creek Development District did – and it’s a blatant “fuck you” to Orlando. They banned X-rated stores and liquor shops from operating around Disney, claiming that it’s adjacent to a prison. I shit you not.

Before allies of Gov. Ron DeSantis took over, Disney World’s governing district, which at the time was controlled by Disney supporters, reached an agreement in February with the company to prohibit a long list of businesses from ever being operated on its property.

Forbidden establishments included tattoo parlors, liquor stores, adult entertainment, oil refineries and trailer parks. But they didn’t include prisons, which the Florida governor recently mused could be built there, when talking in a trolling tone about his yearlong feud with the entertainment giant.

“What should we do with this land? And so, you know, it’s like, OK, kids — I mean, people have said, you know, maybe have another — maybe create a state park. Maybe try to do more amusement parks. Someone even said, like, maybe you need another state prison,” DeSantis said last month. “Who knows? I mean, I just think that the possibilities are endless.”

The agreement, which the DeSantis allies say stripped them of power by giving Disney control of design and construction of the theme park resort, is at the center of dueling lawsuits between the DeSantis-appointed board and Disney, as well as a new law seeking to rescind the deal that the Republican-controlled Florida Legislature passed last week.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! That’s right – they’re going full Christian Taliban on us. I mean come on, is there any difference between the MAGAs and the Taliban? I honestly don’t think there is. They’re batshit crazy religious extremists who fly a million flags, have parades, read their holy texts, and own lots and lots of guns. And in case you’re wondering, why yes, it gets weirder the more you dig into it. So much fucking weirder. This is why you don’t vote for brainwashed republicans, ladies and gentlemen! In fact DeSantis is forming a plan that could stick “code enforcement officers” on the park and fine them for anything and everything. Like think of the worst landlord you’ve ever had and multiply it exponentially.

Disney effectively ran the Reedy Creek Improvement District for 55 years until February, when DeSantis’ allies in the Legislature created the Central Florida Tourism Oversight District, and gave DeSantis the power to appoint its board. The CFTOD has previously pointed out that the Disney-backed board never had a code enforcement system.

“Like other businesses in Florida, Disney is subject to building and fire codes that are supposed to protect the lives and safety of its employees and guests,” the district stated in a lawsuit filed last week. “But unlike other businesses in Florida, Disney did not have to worry that these safety rules would be enforced against it. That is because the Disney-controlled District board never adopted any mechanism for the enforcement of those codes.”

On one level, the proposal is innocuous enough. It is consistent with the general practice in cities and counties across Florida, and the fines — if ever imposed — would be trivial for a company of Disney’s size.

But it also comes in the context of an all-out political, cultural and legal battle over Disney’s First Amendment rights.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Love the South Park Mickey Mouse. But make no mistake that all of this is a colossal “fuck you” to the happiest place on earth because they rejected his extremely controversial “don’t say gay” law. As we originally predicted, and this could prove true – is that he’s going to go way too far and eventually step in it. You know, for a group of people who are morally opposed to tyranny, they sure don’t mind when they elect an actual tyrant. But in case you’re wondering how much of a racket conservative politics are, it is a racket and one that pays particularly well if you say the right things and kiss the right asses. Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

According to Central Florida Tourism Oversight District documents, Gilzean will be paid $400,000 per year in the role of administrator.

Gilzean is an ally of Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, who appointed him to the Florida Commission on Ethics. He was also part of DeSantis' working group for reopening Florida during the COVID pandemic. Gilzean currently serves as the President and CEO at Central Florida Urban League, an organization tasked with ending generational poverty and promoting equality.

The appointment of Gilzean would mean that the Central Florida Tourism Oversight District's board and administrator are all hand-picked allies of Florida Governor Ron DeSantis.

Existing District Administrator John Classe, appointed by Reedy Creek Improvement District, is expected to remain as a special advisor and will aid in the transition to the new administrator. Notably, Classe's proposed contract with the new district would prohibit him from working for Disney and requires him to assist the Central Florida Tourism Oversight District in its legal battle with Disney.

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[font size="8"]Trump NFTs Phase II
[br] [/font]

Let’s spin the wheel shall we? Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… STOP! Chance!

Woohoo! A get out of jail free card! I’ll just put that away for later. Spin it again! And it lands on… Donald Trump. Ugh, do we have to? OK fine.

Movie fans in the audience, you know how the movie critics say that sequels are never as good as the first one? Yeah we can literally name 100 sequels out there, and none of them are as good as the first one, that’s a fact. And we live in the age of connected universes and never-ending franchises. I mean remember when things used to just end? Yeah we do too. Well, where I’m going with this. Back last December, Trump had his “big announcement”, which basically turned out to be a bunch of worthless and poorly Photoshopped NFT trading cards with his dumb face on them. You know, he was an astronaut, or a cowboy, or an NFL quarterback or Rambo. Yeah, and we’re supposed to be taking him seriously as a leader? Holy shit. Well, just when you couldn’t get those images out of your head, he’s back with Phase II – which is even more ridiculous and insane than the first one. This time around, you can get him dressed as the King Of Diamonds, Elvis, there’s one of him literally going commando, and this one of him holding the Liberty Bell. Just… so much stupid.

Earlier this month, the floor price on the original Trump NFT collection jumped after the news of his indictment, but the new Series 2 release has sent the first collection’s price downward.

Despite his recent indictment, Donald Trump isn’t slowing down with his Web3 ambitions. The former U.S. president announced Tuesday the release of a "Series 2" of his NFT collection Trump Digital Trading Cards.

Trump shared the news on his social network Truth Social, telling followers that after “great success,” he’s expanding the collection with a second mint that’s now available to collectors.

While the tokens will be minted on the Polygon blockchain and remain at their original mint price of $99, the art, rarity traits and utility features will differ from the first collection. For starters, Series 2 includes 47,000 non-fungible tokens – 2,000 more than the first series. That could be a nod to his ambition to return to the White House as the 47th president.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha… yeah it is a sequel if you can call it that! So if you’re wondering about the prices of these ridiculous monstrosities, it’s $99 for one card, or you can collect all 45 cards for the low price of $4,500. And just like last time, he’s offering some fabulous prizes. But are they really that fabulous when you think about it? You get a black tie dinner with some lukewarm KFC that’s been sitting under some barely passable heat lamps while you get to listen to Trump and other right wing conspiracy theorists barf their brains out to the same crap we’ve already heard 10,000,000 times. But yeah you can’t call it a cult or anything.

The same OpenSea wallet that sold the original images of the 45th president has minted the sweepstakes prizes, from a group Zoom call to a gala dinner.

Although former U.S. President Donald Trump’s non-fungible token (NFT) collection sold out in December, its NFTs for sweepstakes winners are now flooding the market.

According to data from NFT marketplace OpenSea, the same wallet that sold the original NFTs is minting tokens that serve as access passes to the sweepstakes prizes touted during the launch of the Trump Digital Trading Card collection in December.

The tokens feature images of Trump holding a sign resembling a ticket, listing the prizes promoted during the original mint. These include a group Zoom call, a gala dinner and a hardcover copy of his book “Our Journey Together.”

The collection now has a trading volume of 35 ETH, or about $48,500, and a floor price of 0.021 ETH, or nearly $30.

Yeah no sequel for you! And look at that! It’s worth a fraction of a cent of made up worthless bitcoin money! Shit, even some of Trump’s biggest fans are now questioning the fact that they’re going to jail for this loser. Like Baked Alaska for instance. I mean, come on, when you’ve lost Baked Alaska, you know you’ve lost, right? But when he’s got supporters with names like Baked Alaska and Beardsly Beardson, we’re really supposed to take him seriously? SMDH. Oh and by the way I got a lot of shit the last time for calling his NFTs worthless, and you know what? I stand by that claim. You’re basically paying $99 for a stupid picture and not getting a whole lot in return.

Hoping to repeat his past success with NFTs, former President Donald Trump has launched a second collection of digital trading cards, with tens of thousands of new collectibles now available for mint. But prices for the controversial politician’s original NFT set have quickly plummeted now that the total supply has more than doubled.

The second series of Trump Digital Trading Cards spans a total of 47,000 NFTs minted on Polygon, an Ethereum sidechain network, with 1,000 of the NFTs held back by the developer. Each sells for $99, as with the original December 2022 drop, with some cards featuring Trump’s digital signature.

Trump commented on the surprise launch via his Truth Social network, leaning into familiar themes about “fake news” and what he sees as his generosity towards fans.

“I hope everyone notices, [and] I’m sure the Fake News won’t, that I’m leaving the price of the Trading Cards the same as last time, even though they are selling for MANY TIMES MORE (It’s called the MARKET!),” he wrote, “[and] sold out almost immediately, because I want my fans [and] supporters to make money, [and] have fun doing it.

Ha ha ha ha ha… National Treasure is your go to franchise? Right. But here’s the hilarious thing if you follow the Bitcoin world. It’s no secret that the Blockchain Bros overwhelmingly support that guy who we inexplicably used to call president. He called bitcoin a “scam” but is now proceeding to get rich off of Bitcoin. But you know what? They can play with their trading cards and their fake bitcoin money, but you know what? He got your real money and that’s all that matters! Because you know that old, classic saying – “Money talks and bullshit walks”. It was true when it was first said in the 1980s and it’s still true in 2023! He got it all, and you got nothing! PT Barnum was 100 years ahead of his time, my friends!

Former President Donald Trump made at least six figures of income selling NFTs last year, his new financial disclosure showed Friday.

NFTs, short for nonfungible tokens, are unique digital assets that have their ownership recorded on a digital ledger called a blockchain.

Trump has made between $100,001 and $1 million in income from NFTs, according to his 2022 financial disclosure form published by the watchdog group CREW.

Trump, currently a leading contender for the 2024 Republican presidential nomination, was required to file the form as a candidate for federal office, CREW noted.

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[font size="8"]Good Guys With Guns
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Let’s give the wheel a good, strong spin, shall we? Wheel goes round, wheel goes round, where it stops, nobody knows! And it lands on… Clip Without Context!

That’s real by the way! Seriously it’s like watching Monday Night Rehabilitation from Idiocracy. Is Beef Supreme coming out of retirement? Damn this is nuts. Spin it again! And it lands on… guns! Hey it’s time for Good Guys With Guns!

“No matter what the situation, a guy with a gun is a guy with a gun.” – Michael Weston in Burn Notice

Top 10 Conservative Idiots Presents:

So of course you know that that most uniquely American of institutions, the National Rifle Association, famously claims that “the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun”. Well, here’s the thing. There’s 330,000,000 people in this country. And there’s 1,000,000,000,000 guns. OK that’s a conservative estimate. There’s probably 2,000,000,000,000 guns. Well, America’s undying (and also dying) love of the firearm is getting some folks in trouble. Particularly the state of Texas. Which leads the country in mass shootings per capita, save for maybe Florida. But as we’ve seen in the last four years, mass shootings can happen anywhere at any time. That’s what happens in a country that has more guns than people. So let’s take a look at this incident in the city of Cleveland, Texas (definitely not to be confused with Cleveland, Ohio) where a man was accused of 5 people including a 9 year old, after he was asked to stop shooting his rifle. Yeah just let that part of the story sink in. He murdered people after he was asked to stop shooting his gun. As if that story couldn’t get more 2A absolutionist than that, well, here's how Greg Abbott responded, in his infinite wisdom. He issued a Fugitive style, state wide, good ol’ fashioned Texas style manhunt. Just when you think real life really can’t get more stranger than fiction!

A convicted murderer serving a life prison sentence in Texas stabbed a transport bus driver and escaped Thursday, setting off a frantic manhunt that was ongoing more than a day later.

The getaway happened as officers bussed Gonzalo Lopez, 46, and other inmates through a rural area between Houston and Dallas about 1.20pm. Lopez somehow slipped out of his shackles, used an unspecified sharp object to stab the driver in the hand and lunged for the wounded officer’s service pistol, Robert Hurst of the Texas department of criminal justice told reporters.

The driver blocked Lopez from taking the gun but couldn’t stop him from jumping out of the bus, Hurst said. A second guard aboard the bus fired both a pistol and a shotgun at Lopez, but it wasn’t clear whether any of the blasts hit the prisoner, who was last seen fleeing across a nearby cow pasture.

Fifteen other prisoners on the bus did not try to make a run for it, Hurst added. Hurst also said the wounded guard’s stabbing is not considered life-threatening.

Yeah that’s right, we got ourselves a good ol’ fashioned Texas style manhunt! Look, our stance here at the Top 10 is that we don’t encourage murder. Of any kind. But what we’re pointing out with this story is that this is the wet dream of the NRA. They literally want a society where everyone has guns and there’s no rules to enforce the use of said guns. That’s why the gun laws that led to this sort of thing are getting more ridiculous by the day. There’s literally no bottom when it comes to the madness of America’s gun toting lunatics. Now here’s where the story gets way more Fugitive like than Hollywood could ever dream of.

More than 200 officers from multiple law enforcement agencies are searching for the gunman accused of shooting and killing five people, including a 9-year-old child, at a Cleveland, Texas, home after neighbors asked him to stop firing his rifle outdoors, officials said Sunday.

Those officers are going door to door and asking community members for information while authorities are also creating billboard posters in Spanish to inform everyone of the search, San Jacinto County Sheriff Greg Capers said in a Sunday afternoon news conference.

And there’s now also a collective $80,000 reward being offered for information that leads to the suspect’s arrest, FBI Houston Special Agent in Charge James Smith announced in the news conference.

Francisco Oropesa, 38, is accused of killing four adults and a 9-year-old boy at a neighboring home Friday night in the city of Cleveland – about 40 miles northeast of downtown Houston. Investigators initially started tracking Oropesa using his cellphone, but said that trail went cold Saturday evening – and he could now be anywhere.

Ha ha ha ha! We kid, we kid. But the thing we have to hammer home in this story is the utter seriousness of gun violence, and that it has consequences. The bottom line, whether the NRA chooses to admit it or not, is that guns kill. Statistics have shown that you’re less likely to shoot someone or yourself if you don’t have a gun. But you’re far more likely to kill someone or yourself if you do have a gun. And Greg Abbott, and the band of idiots that still vote for these right wing evangelical lunatics, can enact all the wild west 2A fantasies that they want. But the truth is that actions have consequences and murder is murder, regardless of whether or not they want to admit it.

A widening manhunt for a Texas gunman who fatally shot five neighbors continued coming up empty Sunday as officers knocked on doors, the governor put up $50,000 in reward money and the FBI appeared no closer to catching the killer after nearly two days of searching with a team that has grown to hundreds of people.

“I can tell you right now, we have zero leads,” James Smith, the FBI special agent in charge, told reporters while again asking the public for tips in the rural town of Cleveland, where the shooting took place just before midnight Friday.

The search for the gunman near Houston has grown in scale: Authorities said that by Sunday evening more than 200 police from multiple jurisdictions were searching for Francisco Oropeza, many of them going door to door in hopes of any clues that would lead to the 38-year-old suspect. Local officials and the FBI also chipped in reward money, bringing the total to $80,000 for any information about Oropeza’s whereabouts.

OK now here’s where it gets weird, and you knew that it was going to. They had 200 police involved in the manhunt. They had thousands of tips pouring into the hotline that was setup. No matter how many police you have, or how many tips you get, the fact remains, and that’s the premise of this segment – a guy with a gun is a guy with a gun. As the Uvalde shooting showed, you can never have too many cops on the scene, and even if you do, you still ain’t catching them. And no matter what happens, and what the movies show you – whether it was Saddam Hussein, or this murderous psychopathic douche, is that real life manhunts usually end in the most embarrassing ways possible – both for the hunter and the huntee.

A man accused of fatally shooting five people at a neighbor’s home in Texas last week, including a mother and her 9-year-old son, was arrested Tuesday evening after a dayslong manhunt, officials announced.

The suspect, Francisco Oropesa, was found in a house just miles from the home in Cleveland, Texas, where the killings took place, the San Jacinto County Sheriff’s Office said.

Oropesa – who is a Mexican national – was “caught hiding in a closet underneath some laundry,” Sheriff Greg Capers told reporters during a Tuesday night press conference.

“They effectively made the arrest; he is uninjured; and he is currently being taken to my facility in Coldspring,” Capers added.

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[font size="8"]HEADER HERE [br] [/font] [br]

Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin, shall we? Wheel goes round, wheel goes round, where it stops, nobody knows! Oh hey it’s time for one of our patented Clips Without Context!

Yeah tell me you failed American history without telling me you failed American history. This is what we absolutely don’t want. Get your church out of our government! Spin it again! Hey speaking of church and government, it’s time for Holy Shit!

Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! Please be seated! You know we’ve been talking an awful lot lately about the Christian right’s embrace of totalitarian fascist and populist ideals. Now look, I know there’s other religions out there, but the predominant one in the United States of America is Christianity. You know, I just realized we have yet to do a Hindu version of Holy Shit. But that’s neither here nor there. We’re talking about Christianity and their embrace of the Unholy, Ungodly Dark One as their deity. I of course speak of a man so foul, so profane and disgusting that his name DARE NOT be spoken in my church! For there will be grave consequences if you do! Eh, my security will just escort you out. But, the people who worship the Dark One are a bloodthirsty bunch. As we noted last week, they’re already combining their two favorite vices – guns and church. Now I guess their third vice is totalitarian fascism? Well let’s take a look at what happened to the town of Woodland Park, Colorado, which went from 0 to full fascist extremely quickly!

In 1994, right-wing evangelist Andrew Wommack founded Charis Bible College in Woodland Park, Colorado, and has used it as a platform from which to spew disinformation, conspiracy theories, and anti-LGBTQ bigotry ever since.

Wommack is an ardent Christian nationalist who openly declares that right-wing Christians “are supposed to be ruling in this world.” Right Wing Watch reported in 2016 that Wommack had teamed up with Christian nationalist pseudo-historian David Barton to launch a “Practical Government School” at Charis that teaches students how to “restore God’s purpose in government.”

While Wommack’s Christian college was training up a generation of Christian nationalists to take over governments around the country, Wommack went to work closer to home, musing in 2021 that with just the people associated with Charis, “we ought to take over Woodland Park.”

In 2022, Right Wing Watch reported that Wommack announced that he had decided to “take Colorado back” during the previous election cycle by flooding five districts with hundreds of thousands of voter guides, bragging that he was able to get “78 or 80” of his preferred candidates elected to office.

Wommack is the sort to mindlessly spread the false claims about teachers identifying as cats and relieving themselves in litter boxes in the classroom, so naturally he was particularly focused on getting “homosexual books” removed from Woodland Park school libraries.

Yes, come for the service, stay for the fattening foods! You know why am I not at all shocked that a church is using its’ platform to spread hate and misinformation? That goes back to the old adage that people who want power are the ones who shouldn’t have it. That’s one thing you won’t get at our church because we don’t do that sort of thing. And if you’re wondering what that sort of thing leads to, just look at Wisconsin. You know, you really got to wonder where they find these people. Because they don’t just grow on trees or anything.

Christian musician turned right-wing political activist Sean Feucht continues to travel across the country with his “Kingdom to the Capitol” tour, which is a joint project he launched with right-wing youth organization Turning Point USA to bring Feucht’s mix of worship and hard-right politics to every state capitol in the nation.

Feucht is a self-proclaimed Christian nationalist and, as he has done in previous tour stops, used an event last Friday in Madison, Wisconsin, to lift up local politicians who share his far-right views.

Christian nationalists believe the U.S. and state governments should operate and legislate according to their interpretation of the Bible, and that only Christians who share their political and religious worldview should control the reins of power. While many right-wing activists seek to downplay or obfuscate their Christian nationalist agenda, Feucht has been very open about his intentions, reiterating his desire to see “God in control of the government” while standing outside the Wisconsin state capitol.

Later in the worship service, Republican state Rep. Chuck Wichgers appeared on stage, where he praised those who had gathered to pray for helping him fight the “demons” at work within the capitol..

Yes, it does seem like we’re going around in a circle, doesn’t it? It’s no secret that the Christian right is taking this country in an extremely dark direction. One that uses fear and hatemongering and rampant misinformation to keep people addicted to the right wing sphere. That’s not what our LAWRD JAYSUS would have in mind now, is it? Look, religious right, we don’t want the country to become a church, that is not what our founding fathers had in mind. But they don’t care. The Christian right has become a deranged cult, and they only want what’s best for the cult. After all, it’s all about the greater good… the greater good!

Sen. Senator Tim Scott of South Carolina is expected to officially announce that he is running for president later this month. As part of his nascent campaign, Scott traveled in April to Iowa, where Republicans are poised to hold their traditional first-in-the-nation presidential caucus in February 2024.

While traveling across the state, Scott reportedly participated in a “Faith Wins” event at Rising Sun Church of Christ in Pleasant Hill. Founded by former Republican National Committee faith outreach director Chad Connelly, the religious-right organization Faith Wins works to mobilize conservative Christian voters by bringing Christian nationalist pseudo-historian David Barton to churches around the country where Barton regularly spreads disinformation about the founding of this nation.

While Right Wing Watch was unable to find any video of the Faith Wins event, we did find a video of Scott preaching at Rising Sun Church during its April 23 service. After Scott delivered a sermon, he was joined on stage by Rising Sun senior minister Steve Rowland, who read off various questions that had been submitted by the audience.

During the question-and-answer period, Scott declared that the Constitution dictates that the government should be “bowing the knee to the church.”

Yeah how can this be for the greater good, you might ask? We have seen their policies, and none of them are what GAWD or JAYSUS would have in mind now, is it? In one breath, they say they want freedom and that our freedoms need to be absolute. But in the next breath, they scream that the church should make the laws and that the president is GAWD! Well, I tell you something, the president they want is not GAWD, he is the most ungodly, foul, disgusting excuse for a human imaginable! The Christian right is on a warpath and we don’t see this ending well any time soon. In fact it might get worse, so much worse. Fascism happens when we’re not watching.

A group of Christian nationalists committed to “re-dedicating (re-marrying) the nation back to God” gathered Wednesday in Virginia Beach, Virginia, for an “Re-Covenanting Ceremony & Gala Dinner Reception” featuring the likes of Glenn Beck, former Rep. Michele Bachmann, pseudo-historian David Barton, and others.

Timed to coincide with the anniversary of the day in 1607 when English settlers landed at Cape Henry, Virginia, erected a cross, and “dedicated the new world to God,” organizers insisted that the event was not intended to “promote any political figure or party, but rather to bring the nation as a whole back to God through prayers, repentance and proclamation.”

Many speakers at the event, of course, had different objectives, judging by the fact that the first two speakers spent a good portion of their remarks attacking drag performers, transgender individuals and the Biden administration.

The very first speaker was Craig Johnson, a conservative commentator who bills himself as “The Hatchet Man” and railed against “demon-possessed people” who are reading “homosexual pornography” to school children.

Yes, and these people should feel bad about themselves. But they won’t. And that pleases SAYTAN, not GAWD! These people are everything we’ve fought wars against and more. We have to stop them at every level possible! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Dee Snider Vs Ted Nugent
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Let’s spin the wheel shall we? And it lands on……….. wait for it….. intermission! Yeah I guess it’s time to take a break. Go on, just amuse yourself with your phones. I’ll wait. Cue the music!

Spin it again! And it lands on… Beating A Dead Horse!

You know, we’re not going to solve the trans or drag issue anytime soon. And it continues to get weirder and nuttier. I mean shit, Oklahoma basically outlawed anyone wearing makeup and skirts in front of children. Well, not yet, but you know they want to Which, to me, that’s insane that religious conservatives think that they’re doing this shit to “protect children” from “groomers” and “pedophiles’. I’d be willing to bet good money that they’ve never even met one “groomer” or “pedophile”. And I’m not counting the ones in the higher ranks of their megachurches. Oh that’s the joke you choose to walk out on? Fine. Well, this week we’re going to take a look at two very different sides of the issue from two performers who have been canceled for obvious reasons. On the left is Dee Snider, you know him as the lead singer of the band Twisted Sister, a guy who is definitely not scared about letting his opinions be known on social media. On the right is Ted Nugent, you know him as the composer of such trash rock classics as “Cat Scratch Fever”, “Jailbait”, and “Stranglehold”. Yeah I think he’s trying to tell us something here. Also a guy who is definitely not scared about letting his opinions be known on social media. So let’s start with Teddy here, why is he being canceled? Well, it’s obvious.

Less than a week after a Ted Nugent concert was announced in Birmingham, Alabama, its promoter canceled it following intense outcry, according to AL.com. The musician may have scored hits like “Cat Scratch Fever” and “Free-for-All” in the Seventies, but his criticism of school-shooting victims advocating for gun safety, contempt for animal rights, birtherism, and racist comments like calling Obama a “subhuman mongrel” (for which he apologized) have turned public opinion against him.

Nugent was to play the city’s Avondale Brewing Co. on July 18, with tickets going on sale Friday, but the announcement prompted Facebook and Instagram users to leave more a thousand comments between the two platforms expressing their distaste for Nugent. They accused the musician of hating women, gay people, and trans people, and AL.com reports fans threatened to stop patronizing Avondale Brewing. The brewer and promoter, Red Mountain Entertainment, pulled the plug on Thursday afternoon before tickets went on sale.

People wrote missives like “Lose this show or lose my business,” “To bring this transphobic individual into our diverse neighborhood is a travesty,” and “Ted Nugent spews lies and hatred and you are giving him a platform” as comments on since-deleted posts, the news site reported.

Yeah let’s think about this here. Ted Nugent got canceled. In Alabama. That’s like the people who still listen to him. So you might be wondering how does he respond to these kinds of accusations? Well, he responds in probably the most right wing MAGA, self-righteous “I’m better than you” and “people hate me because…” way possible. It’s never the fact that he might be an arrogant jackass. Look, Ted, NO ONE wants to debate you! We can just turn on Fox News and any other right wing bullshit source and immediately know where you stand on anything. Yes, white male right wing MAGAs are just about as predictable as you might expect.

Ted Nugent had one thing to say about the cancellation of his July 18 show in Alabama: “liars & haters drunk on stupid incapable to debate me-.”

This, at least, was the response Nugent posted Friday morning on Facebook and Twitter, one day after his concert was canceled at Avondale Brewing Co. in Birmingham. Tickets were set to go on sale Friday, but the venue decided to nix the appearance by Nugent, a hard rock veteran and political provocateur, after a strong backlash emerged on social media.

Detractors cited their opposition to Nugent’s far right-wing political views -- which the rocker himself has proudly called “radical” -- and said they wouldn’t support Avondale Brewing Co. in the future if Nugent performed there. They slammed the rocker as homophobic, transphobic, misogynistic, an intolerant hate-monger and more.

About 1,000 comments were posted on Avondale Brewing’s Facebook page after the show was announced on Monday by promoter Red Mountain Entertainment, and most of them were bluntly negative. More than 150 comments on the venue’s Instagram page followed suit. A Reddit post denouncing the show inspired more than 200 comments, as well.

Yes, you are canceled! Now let’s take a look at the other side of the coin. That’s Dee Snider, the lead singer and frontman of the classic heavy metal band Twisted Sister. If you follow Dee on Twitter, you know that he’s not afraid to have an opinion on just about anything. And he’s certainly aware that politicians and political groups are misusing and misinterpreting his classic song “We’re Not Gonna Take It”. So apparently, after KISS lead guitarist Paul Stanley said some shit about trans people and Mr. Snider endorsed it, he got canceled from this year’s Pride Festival in San Francisco. So what’s the common link between these two? Don’t say stupid shit on social media, that’s what!

Dee Snider’s planned performance at San Francisco Pride in June has been called off after the Twisted Sister singer voiced his support for Paul Stanley’s transphobic tweet.

“San Francisco Pride was on the cusp of announcing Twisted Sister’s ‘We’re Not Gonna Take It’ as the unofficial rallying cry of this year’s SF Pride Parade & Celebration, with the band’s frontman Dee Snider performing the song on our center stage. Dee has always been a vocal supporter of LGBTQ+ rights,” SF Pride said in a statement.

“However, when we were notified about the tweet in which Dee expressed support for Kiss’s Paul Stanley’s transphobic statement, we were heartbroken and angry. The message perpetuated by that tweet casts doubt on young trans people’s ability to self-identify their gender. “

On Sunday, the Kiss guitarist tweeted an unprompted statement calling the expression of gender identity among children “a sad and dangerous fad.”

Yeah well, it’s not a fad. The online hate is becoming weirder and weirder, as we can tell you from even our own personal experience. But in the terms of which person handled this with more class and dignity, we’re going to have to give the edge to Mr. Snider here. And like I said earlier, we’re not going to solve this issue any time soon. In fact, we expect that this debate is probably going to get worse before it gets better. And we’ve gone through this circular firing squad over and over and over again. And we could talk all day about this subject. But in the words of Mr. Snider, we’re going to use that phrase from his classic song: “No, we’re not gonna take it anymore!”.

Two days after he was pulled from a main stage appearance at this year’s SF Pride Celebration and his song, “We’re Not Gonna Take It,” was canceled as the festival’s unofficial rallying cry, Twisted Sister front man Dee Snider has issued a response.

“I was not aware the Transgender community expects fealty and total agreement with all their beliefs and any variation or deviation is considered ‘transphobic,'” wrote Snider in a Facebook post.

“So, my lifetime of supporting the Transgender community’s right to identify as they want and honoring whatever changes they may make in how they present themselves to the world isn’t enough?” he continued, in the post which was titled, “So, I hear I’m transphobic. Really?”

At the center of the brouhaha with Pride is a tweet Snider sent earlier this week in which he voiced his support for a statement from fellow rocker, Paul Stanley of Kiss, that was widely panned for being anti-trans.

Stanley’s post read in part, “With many children who have no real sense of sexuality or sexual experiences caught up in the ‘fun’ of using pronouns and saying what they identify as, some adults mistakenly confuse teaching acceptance with normalizing and encouraging a situation that has been a struggle for those truly affect and have turned it into a sad and dangerous fad.”

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[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner: Highlights From CPAC Hungary
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Let’s spin the wheel, shall we? Come on, no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… STOP! NO!!! A whammy!!!

Spin it again. Oh hey it’s time for a new Conspiracy Corner!

Welcome back to our segment that attempts to explain the unexplainable, Conspiracy Corner! Of course conspiracies exist when people simply don’t want to read the article past the headlines and just flat out make shit up. We of course are coming to you live from our underground doomsday shelter from deep within the New Mexico badlands. Undisclosed location, of course! Let me just adjust my trusty tin foil hat for maximum government interference. Ah, there we go! They are trying to read yours and my thoughts after all! You know, folks, up until now, the GOP has been using a “wink wink nudge nudge” kind of attitude when it comes to their thoughts regarding authoritarianism. Well, lately it seems they’ve dropped that attitude and are full on embracing their fascist leanings. We’ve reported in the past on the MAGAs’ love for Hungary’s populist authoritarian prime minister Viktor Orban. So is populism creeping its’ way into the United States? Oh you bet it is, and the GOP isn’t stopping there. Hell, they think the president is God and the GOP wants a dictator for life. Which is why the GOP and Fox are continuing to cozy up to Hungary and how their brand of fascism is a model for the US. Which of course, nobody really asked for, or wants.

The Hungarian leader Viktor Orbán has called for Donald Trump’s return to office, claiming their shared brand of hard-right populism is on the rise around the world, in a speech to US Republicans and their European allies in Budapest.

Orbán was addressing the second annual meeting of the US Conservative Political Action Coalition (CPAC) in the Hungarian capital, aimed at cementing radical rightwing ties across the Atlantic. He said that conservatives have “occupied big European sanctuaries”, which he listed as Budapest, Warsaw, Rome and Jerusalem. He added that Vienna “is also not hopeless” .

He noted that Washington and Brussels were still in the grip of liberalism, which he described as a “virus that will atomize and disintegrate our nations”.

The Orbán government has made tentative approaches to open contacts with Ron DeSantis, with the Hungarian president, Katalin Novák, flying to meet the Florida governor in Tallahassee in March, but at Thursday’s CPAC conference it was overwhelmingly Trumpist, and Orbán threw his full-throated support behind the former US president.

Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooly shit! That’s quite a bit extreme there! That’s not populism, that’s just straight up Nazism! You know, the concentration camps weren’t built in a day. It started with dehumanization and demonization. And just kept escalating there. On the scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being Holocaust, we’re somewhere in the middle right now. But that could all change in the 2024 election, which we’re all praying will not happen. But in case you’re wondering whether or not the GOP plans to go full genocidal maniac if they win the 2024 election, well, guess what? Your fears definitely aren’t going to be eased.

Conservative activist group CPAC has held this year’s meeting in Hungary, giving a platform to anti-LGBTQ+ speakers making attacks on “woke” culture and marginalised communities.

The right-wing group – full title, the Conservative Political Action Coalition – is best known for its always-controversial annual American conferences, but organisers have spread their roots to other countries with considerable right-wing influence over the past few years.

Since its first US event in 1974, the conference has featured keynote speeches, discussion panels and Q&As from notably controversial, and often anti-LGBTQ+, hard-line right-wing pundits, including former advisor to Donald Trump, Steve Bannon, Trump himself, and Republican politician Matt Gaetz.

The organisation also supports a number of political pundits across the world, including anti-trans talking head Posie Parker, who claimed that the insurance for her controversial Australian “Let Women Speak” tour was paid for by CPAC.

Yeah so let that sink in for a minute. In case your MAGA nutcase neighbors start spewing crap about paid protestors, there’s paid protestors all right, but guess which side they’re on? Yeah it’s not our side, shocking, I know! And of course like most things involving that guy who we inexplicably used to call president, things get so much worse the more you dig into it. The genocidal rhetoric aside, these guys have some very terrible things in store for the future of the United States. And how can you have a nation without national interests? Seriously their rhetoric is getting so insane that it’s nearly impossible to keep up with it.

Hungary’s populist prime minister likened liberalism to a “virus” in an opening speech at the Conservative Political Action Conference in the Hungarian capital on Thursday, painting a picture of a global right-wing movement mobilizing to defeat “progressive elites.”

Viktor Orban’s speech at CPAC Hungary centered around battling what he frequently described as “woke culture,” and delved primarily into hot-button cultural topics such as transgender and LGBTQ+ rights, migration and the content of education for children.

The two-day conference, the second in Hungary in as many years, featured segments titled “Make Kids Not War” and “No Country for Woke Men.” A sign over the entrance to the venue, a conference hall on the Danube River, read, “No Woke Zone.”

After receiving a standing ovation, Orban said Hungary had become “world-famous” for its hard-line migration and cultural policies, and offered those in attendance a recipe for implementing a similar right-wing agenda at home.

“No migration, no gender, no war,” Orban said, urging his international audience to focus on these issues in their own countries.

Eh, not always. But we can agree that crazy people with tin foil hats are involved. But of course, the GOP just can’t seem to shake the stink of that former president off of them. See, you don’t have to wonder anymore about how the average person fell for Hitler’s evil deeds. We’re witnessing it in real time and things are about to get so much worse. Fascism doesn’t just happen overnight. It may seem like it does, but it doesn’t. It starts out at the local and state levels. But by the time it comes to the national level, it may be too late to do anything about it. But CPAC is basically just another forum for the guy who ruins everything to barf his brains out. Ugh.

Former President Donald Trump has appeared at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) in Hungary via a pre-recorded video.

Trump was not listed as being among the speakers or guest appearances at the event held in Budapest, but a clip of him was played at the start of the second day.

During his message, Trump praised Hungary's populist Prime Minister Viktor Orbán as a "tremendous leader" while declaring that conservatives are in a "historic battle" against "Marxist, globalists and communists" all over the world.

"It's a true honor to address the freedom loving patriots gathered in Hungary to celebrate the timeless values and principles that unite conservatives all over the world," Trump said.

"We believe that faith and family are the bedrock of a good and free society. We believe that a nation without borders is not a nation at all. We believe in tradition, the role of law, freedom of speech, and the God-given dignity of every human life.

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Let’s spin the wheel, shall we? Come on, no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… STOP!!! Oh hey it’s one of our patented Clips Without Context!

Ha ha ha ha, what??? That’s not how this works! Our government is not your church! Come with me if you want to live. Good god, these people just continue to circle the drain. Spin it again! It’s time for People Are Dumb!

Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people, and people are dumb! Well, before we go any further, I want to preface by saying what makes a People Are Dumb story. Like for instance a guy who breaks into a bank, not a People Are Dumb story. A guy who breaks into a bank butt naked, wearing underwear on his head, while singing Baby Shark over and over? Now that’s a prime People Are Dumb story! And not all People Are Dumb stories are stupid criminals, either. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good stupid criminal story. I collect them, trade them with my friends. And stupid criminals are everywhere and new ones are made weekly. Let’s start with this story out of Warren, Michigan where an unusual weapon was used during an altercation. And I love these kinds of stories where there’s not enough information available, so they put in weird details in order to fill out the required word count, because this is where it turns an OK story into a fucking weird one!

A 60-year-old man was charged after allegedly using a frozen fish as a weapon during an altercation at a Warren fish counter, according to officials.

The incident took place on April 2, at Desi Fruit Market on Nine Mile in Warren. Around 7:15 p.m., police say the suspect, MD Jobul Hussain, became angry with a store clerk after being told the fish counter closed at 7 p.m. due to Ramadan.

"The suspect then allegedly assaulted the clerk on the head with a four-pound frozen hilsa fish," Macomb County Prosecutor Peter Lucido said in a news release. "The hilsa fish is a kind of herring."

The victim was transported to a local hospital for treatment.

Hussain was charged with one count of aggravated assault, a one-year misdemeanor, officials said. He was arraigned in Warren District Court on Monday and given a $5,000 personal bond.

According to court records, Hussain posted his bond and has been released. His next court date has been set for April 27.

Next up – we go to Peru for this story! You know, we always say that stupid people aren’t just a uniquely American problem. Stupid people are everywhere. No matter what country you visit. So what happened in this story is that some thieves broke into a shoe store, looking for some prime swag to steal, you know, like you do. Well, of course the lights were turned out and it was dark. What did the thieves make out with, you might ask? Well, they stole more than 200 shoes. But all of the shoes were literally just for one foot. You really can’t make this stuff up, folks!

Three people broke into the shop in the central city of Huancayo and made off with more than 200 trainers - but they were all for the right foot.

The shop owner estimates that they have a value of more $13,000 (£10,000) - although the thieves may struggle to sell them on.

The lame attempt at a lucrative robbery was captured by security cameras.

The footage shows the criminals breaking the padlock on the shop's shutter in the middle of the night and using a tricycle to take boxes of trainers from different brands.

Local police chief Eduan Díaz told Peruvian media: "We have gathered evidence at the scene. The unusual thing about this robbery is that shoes from only the right foot have been stolen.

Next up – we of course can’t have People Are Dumb without mentioning the Sunshine State, the state of Florida. America’s penis, as Tracy Jordan once referred to it. Or America’s Wang, as Homer Simpson famously referred to it. And there’s a lot of Florida Man stories involving golf this week. I don’t play golf, but I know a lot of people do. I don’t get why the sport of golf seems to attract the crazies. I guess that it’s the combination of being outdoors, heavy drinking, and the cost of tee times are all a pretty lethal combination? Well, maybe it’s just the heavy drinking. Which you shouldn’t do and operate a golf cart at the same time.

Tensions ran high at a golf course recently in Central Florida and a subsequent nasty brawl was all caught on cellphone video.

In an undated clip shot by a bystander and reposted to golf towel company Zire, you can see a group of men standing by a tree near a tee at Cleveland Heights Golf Course in Lakeland.

Apparently, two foursomes got into it over a traffic jam on the 16th hole after play times got delayed. “It’s the people in front of us!” yells one man. “We can’t go any faster!”

Things escalate quickly from there. One guy pushes another guy and they begin to throw punches, as the cameraman says, “Oh s--t, we can go viral!” Then two other men start to whoop on each other as a passerby chuckles.

Read more at: https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article274923591.html#storylink=cpy

Yeah it’s like the opening of Super Troopers! He’s already pulled over! He can’t pull over any further! Ha ha ha ha! Finally this week - we go to the city of Coral Springs for this one. You know, I know way too much about Florida geography from doing all this research on Florida Man. Ha ha ha, I know, right? Well, this guy attempted to rob a Dunkin’ Donuts of all places. And look, if you’re going to do the crime, at least do your part to make it look like it never happened. Which this guy attempted to, but he got caught with sticky fingers after robbing the place and stealing dough. Quite literally in this case!

A former Coral Springs Dunkin’ Donuts employee was arrested and charged with burglary after returning to a restaurant in full uniform, serving customers, and, when asked to leave, stealing money from the cash register.

On April 27, Coral Springs Police responded to a reported theft by an ex-employee that had taken place at Dunkin’ Donuts located at 4685 North State Road 7.

According to the arrest report, upon arrival, a store manager showed officers surveillance footage of the suspect, a former employee later identified as Maximo Daniel Rosario, 31, of Coconut Creek, wearing a Dunkin’ Donuts uniform and appearing to attempt to clock in for work.

The report shows that confused Dunkin’ employees attempted to reach the manager by phone to ask if Rosario was a new employee. Rosario, who had not worked there since December 2022, removed money from the cash register.

That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Stupidest State 2022
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Let’s spin the wheel one final time this week! And it lands on… go directly to jail? NOOOOOO!!!!

Spin it again! And it lands on… T-Shirt Cannon! Everyone here will get the Top 10 Stupidest State 2023 t-shirt! Be sure to hit that like and subscribe button and recommend us to all your friends! How about that? Now spin it again! And it’s time for: Stupidest State 2023!

16 states will enter and only one state will become the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Folks, I don’t need to tell you that we’re shaping up to have a truly epic Final Four in the 2023 Stupidest State tournament! We have just one more conference to go before we move on and that’s the Family Values Conference! Last week, Florida absolutely dominated Arizona with a 24 point victory and handily cruise to taking control of the Batshit Conference! This week, it’s time for the Family Values Conference Championships! Tennessee vs Utah! One of these two states will advance, the other goes home! We’re live at the home of the Philadelphia Flyers, the Wells Fargo Center in Philadephia PA, for all the exciting action! Let’s go to the floor, shall we?

[font size="4"]Family Values Conference Finals: Tennessee Vs Utah [/font]

[font size="2"]Tennessee [/font]

The Volunteer State is looking to repeat as champions after last year’s stunning upset and they’ve got a pretty strong showing. They may be home to such prestigious universities as Vanderbilt and Memphis State, and they’re the home of the Tennessee Titans. But they’re also the home of some absolutely batshit crazy republican lunacy. Tennessee is led by Governor Bill Lee and a near veto-proof conservative majority. And some of the latest insanity is proof that their version of “family values” means “unless you’re a white Christian billionaire, fuck off”. Here’s some of the latest insanity that the Volunteer State is being subjected to.

A robocall obtained by the Tennessee Holler is raising questions about what happened inside the Tennessee Capitol on March 30 and made false allegations about the events there. The Nashville-based online news site posted a recording of it to its Twitter account over the weekend.

"Hi, this is Donna calling from Enlight Tennessee," an automated voice said. "On April 6, the Tennessee General Assembly voted on a resolution to expel radical liberal state Reps. Gloria Johnson, Justin Pearson and Justin Jones from the General Assembly."

It went on to call them "radical activists posing as elected officials" who "let an angry mob of Antifa members from all over the country and a handful of Tennesseans come to [the statehouse]."

Johnson, Pearson and Jones are all elected members of the Tennessee House of Representatives who together represent more than 100,000 people.

Yeah “radical activists posing as elected officials”? I mean come on, have you seen the caliber of people who are getting elected to state and local offices calling themselves conservative? You’re going to have to be a bit more specific here. And in case you’re wondering if Bill Lee has the kind of family values supporting credentials that lead him to the top of the pack in this conference, well, guess what? He’s literally putting your kids in harms’ way to take tests. Yeah never mind that they could get killed by a tornado, the state of Tennessee needs those precious test scores, damn it!

Their homes and schools were catastrophically damaged after taking a direct hit from an EF-3 tornado two weeks ago and today Crestview families received more bad news: Gov. Bill Lee won’t grant them an exception for next week’s Tennessee Comprehensive Assessment Program testing.

“Tipton County Schools was notified by state officials today that Crestview Elementary and Crestview Middle School students will be required to complete TCAP testing for grades 3-8. Testing has not been waived by the Governor for CES and CMS,” Director of Instruction Dr. Rebekah Byrd said in a press release Friday afternoon.

It was yet more bad news for families still trying to pick up the pieces.

The board said they have opted out of testing Crestview Elementary second graders, because it is a local decision, however they have no choice for third through eighth grades.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! By the way, we’ve been covering the ongoing scandal in the Tennessee House regarding the Tennessee 3 that were expelled and removed from the House, only to be reinstated later. Well, guess what? Here’s the kind of Family Values politician that gets you propelled to the top of the class in this conference. It turns out that one of the key lawmakers involved in this whole scandal - wait for it - got busted for a sexual harassment suit! Gee, who would have guessed that a hard MAGA leaning politician would be caught in a sexual harassment scandal? I am shocked, SHOCKED!!! Well, not that shocked.

A member of GOP leadership in the Tennessee House of Representatives was recently found guilty of sexually harassing at least one legislative intern, likely two, by an ethics subcommittee acting in secret, NewsChannel 5 Investigates has learned.

About six hours after being confronted by NewsChannel 5 Investigates, Rep. Scotty Campbell gave up his seat in the Tennessee General Assembly.


NewsChannel 5 has learned that potentially thousands of dollars have been spent to protect one victim, relocating her from the downtown apartment building where she and Campbell both had apartments, shipping her furniture back home in another part of the state and placing her in a downtown hotel for the remainder of her internship.

Legislative officials refused to say how much they've paid out, saying that information is confidential.

[font size="2"]Utah [/font]

The Beehive State is home to some of the most beautiful scenery in the country and some of the best skiing in the country. It’s also home to the Utah Jazz and the Mormon Church, which was famously profiled in both South Park and the musical The Book Of Mormon. And one of the things that the Mormon religion is known for is polygamy. Which if you’ve ever seen the HBO series “Big Love”, you know that polygamy isn’t exactly what one would call “legal”. In fact it’s very illegal and very frowned upon. So if you do decide to partake in this kind of lifestyle (we can’t imagine there’s many here who do), you should definitely tread carefully.

The leader of a small polygamous group near the Arizona-Utah border had taken at least 20 wives, most of them minors, and punished followers who did not treat him as a prophet, newly filed federal court documents allege.

Samuel Bateman was a former member of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, or FLDS, until he left to start his own small offshoot group. He was supported financially by male followers who also gave up their own wives and children to be Bateman's wives, according to an FBI affidavit.

The document filed Friday provides new insight into what investigators have found in a case that first became public in August, when authorities said they pulled over Bateman on a highway and discovered he was driving three young girls in an enclosed trailer.

The latest filing accompanied charges of kidnapping and impeding a foreseeable prosecution against three of Bateman's wives – Naomi Bistline, Donnae Barlow and Moretta Rose Johnson. Bateman is already facing state and federal charges of child abuse and tampering with evidence. He pleaded not guilty in September.

Ha ha ha ha ha… great episode. But this is truly horrifying and the more you dig into it, the weirder it gets. And that’s the kind of family values that Utah is known for. But 20 wives and many of them are minors, that’s fucking insane. And yeah we honestly hope this guy gets the book thrown at him and gets a life sentence. Because. fuck this shit. We don’t encourage this sort of thing here, but we are pointing out that it does happen. But polygamy is harsh and there’s a very long and very harsh history of it, which is why we don’t encourage it.

There apparently was a time when Kody Brown's lifestyle choices were being watched by the law.

The Sister Wives lead, 54, could have been arrested in Utah for living a polygamous lifestyle, according to his daughter Gwendlyn Brown.

While recapping a previous Sister Wives episode in a recent YouTube video, Gwendlyn shared what allegedly wasn't seen on screen during the family's time living in Utah. "Police were actually coming to our door when I was a kid and being like, 'You have to leave,'" she claimed.

Gwendlyn, 21, even recalled a cop allegedly telling her: "We're gonna take your dad to prison."

TLC did not immediately respond to PEOPLE's request for comment.

Yeah what… and I can’t emphasize this enough… the fuck???? And why am I not at all surprised that there’s a reality show based on polygamy? It’s like reality show producers will take any subject and make it a reality series. But here’s the thing if we don’t stop it now, it will continue to keep happening, and it’s absolutely horrific. These abusers of women and their enablers should be doing some hard time in prison. And the sooner justice is served here, the better. This is a subject that should be discussed more, but sadly isn’t. And yes, fuck the abusers.

Today on GTU, we featured two women who are dedicated to shedding light on the realities of the FLDS polygamous group. Charlene Jeffs, former member of the FLDS and first legal wife of Lyle Jeffs, shared her story and Tonia Tewell, Executive Director of Holding Out HELP, shared what the non-profit organization is doing to help those trying to leave polygamy.

An estimated 40,000-100,000 polygamists live in the Western United States, Canada, and Mexico, with most of them residing in or around Utah. Each group, family, and individual has a unique story, but most of them have faced forms of bondage and tragedy. When someone leaves or is kicked out, they often experience loss of family, financial ruin, feeling judged, abandonment, and loneliness.

As a former member of the FLDS, Charlene explained that it’s not easy to leave a community that you’ve known your whole life. You’re leaving behind your family, your friends, and everything you’ve ever known. And when you do leave, you often face judgment and rejection from the community you’re leaving behind. It can be a very lonely and difficult journey.

[font size="2"]And The Winner Is: [/font]

Oh there’s absolutely no question about this one. Tennessee handily trounces Utah with a very nice win in the last minute of play. For three… YES!!! Rebound… it’s good! And that’s the end of Round 2, everybody! Tennessee has handily beaten Utah by a score of 15 and they are going to their second Final Four to play Missouri for the Flyover League Championship! Final score: 88 – 73! They are celebrating on the court! Cut that net, guys! You have earned it!

[font size="4"]Next Week: [/font]

It’s the Final Four everybody! We are two editions away from closing out the 2023 Stupidest State tournament and crowning our champion! Florida vs Ohio, Missouri vs Tennessee. One of these states will be crowned our 2023 Stupidest State! We’re live at the home of the Detroit Red Wings, the fabulous Little Caesars Arena, with all the exciting action!

[font size="4"]And Now This: [/font]
[font size="4"]NOFX[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest are a legendary punk band currently on their farewell tour – you can see them at the San Diego Waterfront Park on May 11th and in Tacoma at America’s Car Museum on July 24th and 25th. Playing their classic song Linoleum, give it up for the one, the only NOFX!

Thank you SF Sketch Fest! This was fun, we had a great time! We’re back at our home base in Santa Ana for the last two Top 10s of Season 14!

See you next week!


Host: Initech
NOFX Appears Courtesy Of: Fat Wreck Chords
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of A Live Audience At: Mascone Center Hall 310, San Francisco, CA
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

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