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Thu May 26, 2022, 05:00 PM

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #12-16: My Loudermilkshake Brings All The Boys To The Yard Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #12-16: My Loudermilkshake Brings All The Boys To The Yard Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Well we’re finally here – it’s the end of season 12 everybody! And you know what? We had a lot of fun this season – a lot of twists and turns that we weren’t expecting. But we’re coming back for season 13 and 14! After season 14, I don’t know what’s going to happen. Trust us, we will let you know in the meantime. And I also want to address that we won’t be covering the Johnny Depp / Amber Heard trial at least not yet because there’s nothing we can really make fun of. At least for the time being. We might be doing an I Need A Drink about this in one of the Best Of segments, I don’t know. But I must digress that we’re taking time off at an absolutely banner time for conservative idiocy. In fact there’s so much idiocy that I don’t even really know where to begin this week! Do we talk about Madison Cawthorn losing the primaries? Yeah I think that gets a round of applause. Or do we talk about Marjorie Greene going full genocidal maniac? Or Trump calling for civil war on his social media site? Or do we talk about Stella Immanuel claiming that Joe Biden and Bill Gates are dead and their brains were uploaded to the internet and replaced with robots? Yeah that happened! Roll the clip!

You know what? Let’s begin with talking about Kandiss Taylor. I’ve mentioned this MAGA cretin before but I seriously want to know where they find these people. I mean holy shit this one is completely off the deep end. And this is coming from the party that’s brought us such winners as Sarah Palin and Herman Cain. So you know what? Roll the clip.

Hoooooooooooooly shit!!!! It’s no mistake that republicans are getting increasingly more violent and hostile with their rhetoric, and Q theories are reaching batshit insane proportions. And this is also appearing on Mike Lindell’s absolute joke of a social media network. That’s a preview of where we are heading for season 13 and even 14 depending on how the midterm elections pan out, everybody! Sleep tight! Because we are in for some dark times ahead! OK enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first John Oliver is back and he talks about one of the largest sandwich franchises in the world:

Like I said, there was so much idiocy this week that we couldn’t possibly fit it all into 10 measily entries but we’ll do our best! In the top slot this week, that goes to the Conservative Political Action Conference or CPAC (1) because nothing says “America First” and “freedom” like sucking up to far right authoritarian dictators like Viktor Orban! Truly scary stuff out of Hungary this weekend! In the second slot, speaking of scary stuff, after a pair of mass shootings last week – both possible hate crimes – Tucker Carlson (2) and Fox News are in full “move along, nothing to see here!” mode. Funny how their talking points come back to bite them in the ass and then they act like they never said anything! In the number 3 slot this week is a whole bunch of January 6th Insurrection news (3) including the committee subpoenaing Georgia Rep. Loudermilk’s phone records, Ginni Thomas backtracking remarks, and Mike Lindell’s latest batshit remarks plus some dire consequences for insurrectionists! In the number 4 slot this week is our buddy Madison Cawthorn (4) – yes, he finally lost the election and that’s not the only fate facing him, much like the bullies of late 80s kids flicks! Wait until you hear about this one! In the number 5 slot this week is our old buddy Elon Musk (5). Yes, the Tesla and Space X CEO announced that he’s going to vote full MAGA – and that’s after allegations came out about a sexual harassment scandal against him, and trust us – expect plenty more where that came from! In the number 6 slot this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and this week our pastor was watching the controversial Netflix documentary “Our Father” and he’s got some thoughts about it, as well as shedding light on the batshit insane Christian cult known as “Quiverfull”! in the number 7 slot this week is a new edition of “This Fucking Guy” (7) and this week we’re profiling Pennsylvania Governor candidate Doug Mastriano (Q – Insurrectionist) and if you think MAGA sure can pick ‘em, well, this may be one of the craziest people they’ve found yet! In the number 8 slot this week is a new edition of Conspiracy Corner (8) and this week, Congress met to hold hearings on UFOs. That’s right with all the problems facing the country right now, Congress is meeting to talk about aliens. And it was about as insane as you might expect! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week is a new People Are Dumb and we’ve got some great People Are Dumb stories for you this week! Finally this week it’s time for the Stupidest State 2022 championship! Yes, all good things must come to an end! Georgia. Tennessee. One of these two states will win it all! Plus to get the post season party started, we’ve got some live music for you from the legendary Silk Sonic! That’s right, Bruno Mars and Anderson Paak will be here! Buy their album “An Evening With Silk Sonic” or you’re no friend of this program! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]CPAC Goes To Budapest
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Nothing says “freedom” like cozying up to one of the most extremist far right authoritarian fascist dictators in the world, does it? Well that’s exactly what happened last week when the annual clusterfuck of conservative idiocy known as the Conservative Political Action Conference held their annual gathering in Budapest, Hungary! That’s right – DC was out. Dallas was out. Chicago was out. New York was out. I guess that’s what happens when the guy who you nominated to be your president spends so much time trashing major cities that he’s banned from all of them because the host venues figured that he would be too toxic. But it’s no secret that America’s right wing LOVES Hungary’s fascist authoritarian prime minister and Vladimir Putin stooge Viktor Orban. In fact his government is basically a blue print of where that movement is heading. And it’s fucking scary. No, just… fucking no. Stop it already. This is one of those things where if you’re not outraged, you’re not paying attention! This should be instant campaign ads for anyone running against anyone attending this event.

It might seem strange that a nationalist conservative group identified with Donald Trump and America First is holding its annual meeting this week in Hungary.

CPAC, the Conservative Political Action Conference, is one of the biggest gatherings of conservatives in the world, and Budapest makes sense when you consider that this year's keynote speaker — Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orban — is a hero to some.

"Right now, the political leader of the conservative resistance in the West is the prime minister of a small central European [country] that most Americans never even think about," Rod Dreher of The American Conservative said at a conservatism conference last year.

Orban has been criticized as a white ethno-nationalist authoritarian. He's restricted Muslim immigration and LGBTQ rights while building a close relationship with Russian President Vladimir Putin. Many American conservatives, however, see Orban's Hungary as a kind of anti-woke paradise.

This is some seriously scary shit here! Don’t boo yet. It’s no secret the direction that Fox News and OAN and Newsmax have American conservatives marching in. If the rest of the country can’t see that this is incredibly dangerous, they are not paying attention! Having the annual CPAC in another country and one that’s known for far right authoritarianism, that is appalling and grotesque. And if you want to know what Orban said – he basically said that republicans need to control the media. That’s of course after he closed off the event to anyone who had press credentials.

The Hungarian leader, Viktor Orbán, has told a conference of US conservatives that the path to power required having their own media outlets, calling for shows like Tucker Carlson’s to be broadcast “24/7”.

Orbán, recently elected to a fourth term, laid out a 12-point blueprint to achieving and consolidating power to a special meeting of the US Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), under the slogan of “God, Homeland, Family”, held in Budapest.

The Hungarian prime minister said that with his fourth electoral victory on 3 April, Hungary had been “completely healed” of “progressive dominance”. He suggested it was time for the right to join forces.

“We have to take back the institutions in Washington and Brussels. We must find allies in one another and coordinate the movements of our troops,” Orbán said.

This really does feel like the return of the USSR doesn’t it? I’m back in the USSR, you don’t know how lucky you are, boy! OK, I’ll stop that. Of course the guy who literally ruins everything he touches shows up for good measure. You know who I am talking about. It’s like the ultra-conservative wing of the GOP can’t have an event without him showing up. And when I say that he ruins everything, I mean exactly that. Think of like you’re having a dinner party and one guest shows up and destroys the bathroom and then blames it on the dog? Yeah Trump is that guy.

Former President Donald Trump shared a platform at a major right-wing conference in Hungary with a journalist who has previously made antisemitic comments, referred to Roma people as "animals," and used racist slurs, according to The Guardian.

Trump spoke on Friday via a video call at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) Hungary, an offshoot of the right-wing US political conference, The Guardian reported.

The conference also featured speeches by Tucker Carlson, Mark Meadows, and Candace Owens, per the conference's website.

Trump's speech saw him heap praise on Hungary's authoritarian prime minister Viktor Orbán, The Guardian reported, and came shortly before journalist Zsolt Bayer took to the stage.

Bayer, a Hungarian ultra-conservative media figure, has received widespread criticism for offensive comments.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Yeah so Trump could bring up anybody he wanted on stage, so who does he bring up? Literally the worst possible person you could think of – a right wing racist social media troll, which you know the old saying. Trolls of a feather flock together! But here’s the question on everyone’s mind is – why? Why the hell would the right wing have their annual conference in another nation and one with such a fascist authoritarian dictator who’s been undermining democracy with every single election since he’s been in power? Well, that’s where they are heading!

My MSNBC colleague Zeeshan Aleem explained last year that Orbán’s right-wing agenda has included a series of steps to undermine democratic institutions, “through measures like consolidation of hundreds of media outlets under the control of political allies, gaming elections and using emergencies like the coronavirus pandemic to dramatically expand executive power.”

Vox published a related report in 2018 on “how democracy died in Hungary.” It noted a vote from the European Parliament, which labelled Orbán’s government a “systemic threat to the rule of law.” The New York Times’ Jamelle Bouie added that Orbán’s Hungary “is corrupt, repressive and authoritarian, a place where democracy is little more than window dressing.”

It was against this backdrop that Republicans and their allies in the United States started characterizing Orbán as a champion of conservative values. Sen. Ron Johnson of Wisconsin, for example, has publicly touted Orbán’s approach to governing. After Fox News’ Tucker Carlson cozied up to the Hungarian leader, New York magazine’s Jon Chait noted that the host “is laying down a marker in the highest profile way he can that Orbán’s iron fist is the future the Republican Party should want.”

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[font size="8"]Gun Nut Apologists
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God damn it. Just… god damn it. I don’t really know what else to say here. This is supposed to be a comedy show, but I feel like we’re living in a horror movie. Just as we were putting together this week’s edition, we have yet another shooting at a fucking school. Have we not learned anything? No, of course we haven’t. As long as the trifecta of fucking idiots in Texas is in charge – yes, those gun humping, Fox addicted lunatics Greg Abbott, Ken Paxton, and Dan Patrick. They are literally blaming everything but the guns, it’s truly insane what is happening and what they are doing. Seriously, it’s like we’re living the plot of “Don’t Look Up” but replace a giant asteroid with guns. I apologize in advance for the profanity that is about to fly in this entry, because I’m seriously that angry about the events of last week. And never mind that I had some MAGA shithead on Twitter tell me that it was a false flag like the day it happened (who was then immediately blocked and reported). Which brings me to Tucker Carlson, who we already knew was partly responsible for the events that unfolded in Buffalo last week. Seriously, Tucker, there is a special place in hell for you when you get there. And don’t think I am forgetting about Sean Hannity either. These two are utterly disgusting and a huge part of why the gun problem is so raging out of control in this county. But don’t think we’re letting Tucker get away with this one!

Fox News weekend host Howard Kurtz dedicated a segment on his Sunday show to defending colleague Tucker Carlson, marking the latest example of the network taking a top-down approach to backing its primetime star.

Carlson, the face of the nation's most viewed cable news show, is again facing backlash and the heightened attention he's become accustomed to, this time following the May 14 Buffalo mass shooting and his well-documented echoing of white supremacist rhetoric and adjacent conspiracy theories, including the shooting suspect's self-professed embrace of the "great replacement" theory.

"Now his comments on immigration and politics and those of anyone at this network are, of course, fair game for public debate," Kurtz said, with Mediaite first cataloging the segment. "But blaming him for the shooting is absurd. The latest case of a blood on your hands approach to finger pointing."

Yeah that’s the thing about gun nuts – they think they’re toys. They’re not! And that’s why no matter how many mass shootings we have, no matter where the location, and what the situation, there will always be people defending their precious kill toys. Much in the same way that Gollum wants his precious ring even though its’ caused so much death and destruction. And time and time again, fuck heads like Tucker Carlson and Arizona’s Wendy Rogers keep pushing the narrative that these shootings are false flags! Tell that to the families of the dead, you morons!

Wendy Rogers and Nick Fuentes, two prominent right-wing influencers, suggested Saturday that the racially-motivated mass shooting in Buffalo, New York, could be a false flag operation.

Ten people were fatally shot inside a Tops Friendly Market north of downtown Buffalo Saturday afternoon, and officials have said the suspected shooter is believed to have been motivated by racial animosity. Many people, in the wake of the shooting, have called for renewed efforts to deal with rising hate crimes across the country.

As many politicians from both major parties expressed their sympathies for the victims following the deadly shooting, some far-right influencers instead promoted an unfounded conspiracy theory that the shooting was a false-flag operation.

Arizona state Senator Wendy Rogers, who is endorsed for reelection by former President Donald Trump, wrote in a Gettr post Saturday that "fed boy summer has started in Buffalo," referring to the theory among some right-wingers that FBI agents are behind acts of violence and are seeking to blame conservatives..

That’s exactly how I feel right now – you can’t argue with stupid. You can’t argue with fucking morons like Ken Paxton, the attorney general of Texas who said after the 2018 El Paso shooting that schools had “too many exits” (see: Idiots #4-19 ). Yes, that was their solution! They might as well hve come out and said "we got nothing". At least they'd be honest! But watch in the next few weeks - conservatives will literally blame anything but the gun. And they will keep making excuse after excuse to keep their precious kill toys. I mean that was the last time we had to cover a mass shooting like that, and inexplicably, this fuckhead Ken Paxton keeps getting reelected! Texas, what the ever-loving fuck is wrong with you? Keep voting with your guns and listening to Fox News dipshits, you’re only digging your own graves here.

There are plenty of politicians embroiled in controversies, but Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton remains a unique figure in the American landscape. As regular readers know, the Republican was already under indictment on felony securities fraud charges, for example, when members of his own team made multiple criminal allegations against him in October 2020.

A couple of months later, FBI agents arrived at Paxton’s door — as a rule, that’s not a good sign for any politician — and in the months that followed, the Texan faced unpleasant scrutiny from a Texas district attorney’s office and the Texas state bar.

Common sense might lead one to believe that there’s simply no way an incumbent facing such circumstances could run and win a re-election campaign. Indeed, Texas Land Commissioner George P. Bush — a member of a once-powerful family in the Lone Star State — saw the attorney general as vulnerable and launched a primary campaign.

That’s the most infuriating thing about this – people want change in this country and we’re actually demanding it. But the same fuckheads like Ken Paxton and Greg Abbott keep getting reelected because conservatives vote on two issues – their wallets and their guns. They don’t give a shit about anything else. Which is why we’ll be repeating this cycle with a different location and a different day sometime next week or next month. I don’t know. Thanks to the NRA, we’re all sitting ducks. But this should serve as a reminder – fuck conspiracy theorists.

Fox News personality Tucker Carlson is facing intense scrutiny from extremism experts, media watchdogs and progressive activists who say there is a link between the top-rated host’s “great replacement” rhetoric and the apparent mindset of the suspect in the weekend’s deadly rampage in Buffalo, New York.

The white suspect accused of killing 10 people and wounding three others Saturday at a supermarket in a predominantly Black neighborhood apparently wrote a “manifesto” espousing the white supremacist “great replacement” conspiracy theory — elements of which Carlson has pushed on his weeknight show.

The theory baselessly holds that a cabal of Jewish people and Democratic elites are plotting to “replace” white Americans with people of color through immigration policies, higher birth rates and other social transformations. The idea circulated on the far-right fringes before moving to the mainstream of conservative media.

“Tucker Carlson has made comments that directly reference this conspiracy theory on his show,” said Michael Edison Hayden, a spokesman for the Southern Poverty Law Center, an organization that tracks white supremacy, hate groups and extremism.

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[font size="8"]January 6th Insurrectionists
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You know we’ve been following the developments of the Committee To Investigate The Events Of January 6th since its’ inception. Now they are close to confirming something that we’ve all suspected – it was an inside job. And we’ve especially been following what’s been going on with insurrectionist and TP USA fan Ginni Thomas. But now things are getting way too real. In fact here’s one of the most puzzling questions about the attack so far that no one has been able to really answer. What the fuck were Congressional representatives doing giving tours of the halls of Congress to people on January 5th, when the whole rest of the world was shut down because of COVID? Like seriously, what the fuck? Well now they might have an answer in the form of Rep. Barry Loudermilk (Q – Insurrectionist). Oh come on, we have to do it for this one. My Loudermilkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and damn right, it’s better than yours! Damn right, it’s better than yours! I could teach you, but I’d have to charge! OK thank you audience! I got that out of my system. But of course the GOP is changing their tune on what really happened on and before January 6th. In fact they’re in full on “nothing to see here” mode. Nothing to see here everybody, just a bunch of angry republicans threatening to overthrow the government and murder the vice president. Move along!

The House select committee investigating the January 6 insurrection said Thursday it has evidence that GOP Rep. Barry Loudermilk led a tour of the US Capitol complex the day before pro-Trump rioters stormed the building, according to a letter requesting the Republican lawmaker's voluntary cooperation with their ongoing probe.

The letter notes the committee has reviewed evidence that "directly contradicts" previous claims by Republican lawmakers who said security footage from the days before January 6 shows "[t]here were no tours, no large groups, no one with MAGA hats on" of the US Capitol complex.

Loudermilk and GOP Rep. Rodney Davis, the top Republican on the House Administration Committee, issued a joint statement later Thursday responding to the committee's letter again pushing back on any allegation of "reconnaissance" tours on January 5 and calling for Capitol Police to release the footage.

"A constituent family with young children meeting with their Member of Congress in the House Office Buildings is not a suspicious group or 'reconnaissance tour.' The family never entered the Capitol building," they wrote.

The letter comes more than a year after some House Democrats accused Republicans of providing tours in the days leading up to January 6 to individuals who later stormed the Capitol.


Well OK I got that out of my system. There is some good news though is that the tables are finally starting to be turned on these election denying lunatics. Enter our old buddy, creepy pillow man Mike Lindell. While the MAGA lunatics are tying up the courts over some frivolous and extremely petty lawsuits, the courts are finally fighting back against these abuses! And talk about throwing shit to the wall until something sticks – he wants to file lawsuits in all 50 states! Yeah, good luck with that! Also, Lindell has been talking so much shit about Smartmatic, that the judges have finally had enough!

A U.S. district judge ordered MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell to pay some of voting machine company Smartmatic’s court costs and fees, saying in a ruling on Thursday that some of Lindell’s claims against Smartmatic fall “on the frivolous side of the line.”

“The Court agrees with Smartmatic that Lindell has asserted at least some groundless claims,” U.S. District Judge Carl Nichols wrote in his ruling.

“In particular, the Court concludes that at the very least Lindell’s claim against Smartmatic under the Support or Advocacy Clause falls on the frivolous side of the line (other claims do too). As a result, the Court orders Lindell and his previous counsel to pay some of the fees and costs Smartmatic has incurred defending itself and moving for sanctions,” he added.

Nichols also granted motions from Smartmatic, Dominion Voting Systems and Hamilton Place to dismiss the lawsuits against them.

Thank you, Nelson! And by the way, what kind of fucked up news media do we have that is completely ignoring the fact that the wife of a SITTING SUPREME COURT justice aided and abetted batshit insane theories about the election and her husband sat in on cases that pertained to the election? Just… AHHHH!!!! Why isn’t this like national fucking news? Oh that’s right because we still have mass shooting after mass shooting making the front page. But really this is why you need to read the back pages of the newspaper everybody – something sinister might be lurking around the corner!

Virginia “Ginni” Thomas, the conservative activist and wife of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, pressed Arizona lawmakers after the 2020 election to set aside Joe Biden’s popular-vote victory and choose “a clean slate of Electors,” according to emails obtained by The Washington Post. The emails, sent by Ginni Thomas to a pair of lawmakers on Nov. 9, 2020, argued that legislators needed to intervene because the vote had been marred by fraud. Though she did not mention either candidate by name, the context was clear.

Just days after media organizations called the race for Biden in Arizona and nationwide, Thomas urged the lawmakers to “stand strong in the face of political and media pressure.” She told the lawmakers the responsibility to choose electors was “yours and yours alone” and said they have “power to fight back against fraud.” Thomas sent the messages via an online platform designed to make it easy to send pre-written form emails to multiple elected officials, according to a review of the emails obtained under the state’s public records law.

The messages show that Thomas, a staunch supporter of Donald Trump, was more deeply involved in the effort to overturn Biden’s win than has been previously reported. In sending the emails, Thomas played a role in the extraordinary scheme to keep Trump in office by substituting the will of legislatures for the will of voters. Thomas’s actions also underline concerns about potential conflicts of interest that her husband has already faced — and may face in the future — in deciding cases related to attempts to overturn the 2020 election.

Good question, sir! But there is also some more good news that the tide is starting to turn against these lunatics. And that is participating in the insurrection can be dangerous to your political career. We already saw what happened last week when Madison Cawthorn (Q – Insurrectionist) got unseated in the NC-14 primary. But now they’re coming for other members of the Q party including Marjorie Taylor Greene, Paul Gosar, and Andy Biggs. But don’t think there aren’t more where that is coming from! So January 6th was an inside job after all!

People who take part in insurrections against the US government can be barred from office, an appeals court said on Tuesday, reversing a ruling in favor of Madison Cawthorn, an extremist Republican politician from North Carolina.

Hailing a “major victory”, Free Speech For People, the group which brought the case, said: “This ruling cements the growing judicial consensus that the 1872 Amnesty Act does not shield the insurrectionists of 6 January 2021 – including Donald Trump – from the consequences of their actions.”

Cawthorn lost a primary this month and will not return to Congress in November. But Free Speech For People pursued an appeal.

It also brought cases against Marjorie Taylor Greene of Georgia, two Arizona Republicans, Paul Gosar and Andy Biggs, and an Arizona state representative, Mark Finchem. All have been unsuccessful.

The challenges cited the the 14th amendment to the US constitution, passed after the civil war.

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[font size="8"]Madison Cawthorn
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Come on, everyone, sing it with me! Another one bites the dust! Another one bites the dust! And another one on, and another on, another one bites the dust! Oh come on, Madison Cawthorn (Q – Batshit) admitted that he used his wheelchair to move weapons for the MAGA insurrectionists on January 6th! So please excuse me while I engage in a bit of schadenfreude with this entry! You know here’s the thing – last week we pointed out that the GOP was so desperate to get rid of him that they would have literally gone to any tremendous lengths to get rid of this guy. And come on, who was the person who leaked his sex tape to the media? Come on, ‘fess up! But that said, you know like those cheesy middle / high school movies from the late 80s / early 90s where the bullied kid winds up getting his revenge on the bully and then the bully winds up getting humiliated in the worst way possible? Well, that’s what schadenfreude is for you. And I am loving literally every second of this. Because, really, fuck that guy.

Rep. Madison Cawthorn (R-N.C.) has twice been stopped trying to bring a gun onto a plane. He claimed his colleagues take cocaine and hold orgies. He suggested House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) is an alcoholic, even though she doesn’t drink. He might be caught up in an insider trading scheme, and a GOP senator from his own state has called for an investigation. He has called Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy a “thug.” Multiple women have accused him of sexual harassment.

And his constituents have decided they have had enough.

Cawthorn, 26, lost his bid for reelection Tuesday, falling to state Sen. Chuck Edwardsin the GOP primary in the 11th Congressional District. Seven challengers had stepped up to challenge Cawthorn in this deeply red district. He called Edwards to concede Tuesday night.

“This is simply incredible. Against all odds, we fought hard to win this election and provide clear conservative leadership for the mountains,” Edwards said in a statement after his win.

Thank you Nelson! So come on, NC-14! What was the final straw? Was it the sex tape? Was it when he admitted that DC was like House Of Cards? Was it when he admitted that he used his wheelchair to move weapons in the Capitol Insurrection? Well, we may never know. What we do know is that we got rid of at least one MAGA cretin. But this is where the bully gets his just deserts – not only did Mr. Cawthorn lose the primaries badly, he’s currently under investigation by the GOP! Did he reveal too much about DC orgies? I hear the cult doesn’t like that sort of thing.

A House Ethics Committee subpanel is investigating Republican Congressman Madison Cawthorn to determine whether he engaged in an improper relationship with a staff member and whether he improperly promoted a cryptocurrency in which he may have had an undisclosed financial interest.

The Democratic-led House Ethics Committee announced Monday that a unanimously established investigative subcommittee, led by Democratic Congresswoman Veronica Escobar, will investigate the North Carolina Republican's relationship with the staff member and the cryptocurrency matter. Congress' youngest member at 26, the Trump-backed Cawthorn lost his primary race earlier this month.

The investigation comes after a political action group opposing Cawthorn, American Muckrakers, filed a complaint with the Office of Congressional Ethics alleging multiple violations by Cawthorn and one of his House aides, claiming the congressman had provided the aide with free housing, travel and loans. The group cited social media posts suggesting a personal relationship between Cawthorn and the aide, Stephen Smith. Some in Cawthorn's own party have pushed for an investigation as well. Sen. Thom Tillis of North Carolina backed a Cawthorn challenger and and pushed for an ethics probe into Cawthorn, citing potential insider trading.

Yeah maybe he had an independent thought. But you never go against the cult! Think of it like legalized gambling – you never bet against the house. Because the house always wins! Madison made that cardinal mistake of betting against the house. And since the GOP owns most of the media, they used that against him pretty quickly! This is like when the bully gets his just deserts. So now how was the GOP able to pull off this one and sink the incumbent? Because that rarely happens!

Buckling under the weight of scandal, Rep. Madison Cawthorn, R-N.C. — a favorite of former President Donald Trump — lost his re-nomination bid in western North Carolina’s 11th District on Tuesday, NBC News projected.

State Sen. Chuck Edwards, a conservative backed by many of the state’s establishment players, won with about a third of the vote in an eight-way race. That left Edwards set to advance to November’s general election and Cawthorn, 26, to see his House career come to an end after one term in January.

Cawthorn spokesman Luke Ball told reporters Tuesday night that Cawthorn had called Edwards to concede.

Cawthorn, 26, lost despite an eleventh-hour appeal from Trump, who encouraged voters to look past his run-ins with the law, claims that fellow lawmakers use cocaine and engage in orgies, and images of him wearing lingerie and gyrating naked atop another man in bed.

Ha ha ha ha, what a loser!!! And yeah you know what? I totally forgot about that LGB Bitcoin cryptocurrency scam! You know I really got to find a way to make money off the MAGA crowd – they fall for this shit time and time again! And not only do we have all of these things adding up to a perfect storm for Madison, he’s also got a sexual harassment claim against him! So yeah add all of these things up and it really is like those movies that I used to watch as a kid! This is freaking hilarious! Now let’s go after Marjorie Taylor Greene next!

Despite losing the Republican primary in North Carolina earlier this month, it appears controversy may continue to plague what's left of Rep. Madison Cawthorn's first term in Congress.

The U.S. House Committee on Ethics announced an investigation Monday into allegations that Cawthorn, 26, "improperly promoted a cryptocurrency in which he may have had an undisclosed financial interest" and "engaged in an improper relationship with an individual employed on his congressional staff," according to a press release.

The announcement, which notes that the inquiry "does not itself indicate that any violation has occurred, or reflect any judgment on behalf of the Committee," comes after a string of scandals involving the youngest serving member of Congress preceded Republican voters' rejection of Cawthorn at the polls.

Sen. Thom Tillis — who backed Cawthorn's primary opponent, state Sen. Chuck Edwards — called for the committee to investigate the allegation of insider trading of a cryptocurrency reported by The Washington Examiner.

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[font size="8"]Elon Musk
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So our old buddy Elon Musk is unfortunately back in the news. You know him best as the CEO of Tesla and Space X. Well, he’s been having what one might call “a bit of a week”. His attempt to buy Twitter and turn it into some kind of far right utopia where anyone could say anything they wanted without fear of getting banned or block was met with some extreme backlash to the point where the deal was put “on hold”. That’s right – we won! For now! In fact the deal was so toxic that notoriously toxic far right Texas governor Greg Abbott deleted a tweet that supported Musk’s bid to purchase Twitter. Hey Abbott, you don’t want to be pegged as controversial? How about this? Maybe don’t support these insurrectionist losers! Because you know what they say – silence means that you’re complicit, so yeah your silence is deafening here.

On Thursday night Insider published a story citing documents that allege tech billionaire Elon Musk indecently exposed himself to a SpaceX flight attendant during a 2016 trip aboard his Gulfstream jet.

According to a declaration signed by a friend of the attendant, a naked Musk propositioned the woman in a private room of his plane, asking for sexual contact in return for buying the woman a horse. The attendant declined and eventually left the company in 2018 with a $250,000 severance package that came with non-disclosure and non-disparagement agreements forbidding her to share info regarding the company or its leadership.

The story includes a brief statement from Musk denying the incident.

"If I were inclined to engage in sexual harassment, this is unlikely to be the first time in my entire 30-year career that it comes to light," Musk told Insider. The SpaceX founder then took to Twitter Thursday night to deny the allegations against him, calling the "attacks" against him "despicable" and claiming they should be viewed "through a political lens."

Yeah all of the facepalms! Oh and don’t worry, we’ll get to the sexual harassment claims in a minute – but first we have to talk about who Elon is voting for! It’s no secret that Elon has gone full Red Pill Truther, which we translate to “batshit crazy conspiracy theorist”, and was also denounced by the creator of the Matrix herself, Lilly Wachowski. So yeah which, of course you know how the old saying goes – pussy grabbers of a feather flock together!

Elon Musk said twice this week that he plans to vote for Republicans in upcoming elections, even though he says he previously voted for Democrats such as former President Barack Obama.

Musk’s stated political leanings will not surprise people who follow the celebrity CEO’s interactions and proclamations on Twitter and elsewhere.

Behind the scenes, Musk and his biggest companies, SpaceX and Tesla, have worked to influence the U.S. political landscape for years through lobbying and political donations. Combined, SpaceX and Tesla spent over $2 million on lobbying in 2021. They tend to spend on both sides of the aisle.

But Musk has been historically anti-union, opposed to a billionaire’s tax and is a vocal critic of President Joe Biden.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Fuck that guy! You have a choice in politics and you choose the most toxic brand of far right politics imaginable? That’s pretty lame, Elon. So yeah now that I got that off my chest, we have to talk about Elon’s expensive new suit – his sexual harassment suit! You think that maybe this guy might be too toxic to run a social media network? Yeah, just like Zuckerberg, let’s put social media in the hands of the most socially awkward people possible. What could possibly go wrong there?

Elon Musk denied allegations that he sexually harassed a SpaceX flight attendant in 2016 in a series of late-night tweets.

"I have a challenge to this liar who claims their friend saw me 'exposed' -- describe just one thing, anything at all (scars, tattoos, ...) that isn't known by the public. She won't be able to do so, because it never happened," the Tesla and SpaceX CEO tweeted early Friday morning.

The tweet comes after Business Insider reported that SpaceX paid a $250,000 settlement in 2018 after a SpaceX flight attendant alleged sexual misconduct against the billionaire.

Nicholas Carlson, the editor-in-chief of Insider, the parent publication of Business Insider, responded to Musk's denial on Twitter.

"We stand by our story, which is based on documents and interviews and speaks for itself," a tweeted statement reads.

Seriously, I can’t even… of course he denies the claims. Just like a good republican who has committed sexual harassment or some kind of other unspeakable crime. But the question is how bad could things get for Elon? Well obviously they have to go there and paint the accuser as a whackjob, which is step number one in male sexual harasser rehabilitation. But in terms of this current accusation against him, I’d definitely rate this between a Louis CK and a Harvey Weinstein. We’ll see – we’ll see how many harassment claims there are before we up that claim! And with his money, who knows how many people he’s paid to keep quiet? But move along, nothing to see here!

SpaceX’s COO defended Elon Musk in an email to all employees after an allegation of sexual misconduct against the CEO surfaced last week.

Gwynne Shotwell, the top female executive at the rocket company, told employees in the internal message that she personally believed the allegations against Musk to be false, according to reports from CNBC and the New York Times. Shotwell’s email was sent one day after Insider published a report on the allegation. SpaceX settled for $250,000 with one of its flight attendants in 2018 after the woman said that Musk propositioned her for sex during a massage on a private plane, allegedly exposing his erect penis to her and offering to buy her a horse in exchange. Musk has denied that any sexual misconduct took place and made light of the accusation, calling it “Elongate.”

Although Shotwell declined to get into specifics about the allegations, she did comment on Musk’s character, proclaiming he would never do anything like that. She did not deny the existence of the settlement with the flight attendant.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! Please be seated! You know, we live in some strange and bizarre times. And since the leak of the ruling about to overturn the Roe V. Wade ruling, something has been troubling me about my brothers and sisters on the right. They’re cooking up something very disturbing. But before we get into that, I want to talk about a documentary on Netflix that I happened to catch during the last week, because it was out there. The movie was called “Our Father”, and it sheds quite a bit of light on the topic of the sermon that we’re going to be discussing this week. The thing about this movie is that it’s a bit weird but it sheds some light on a very important subject. See, I had no idea of how deep the abuse in the Catholic Church goes, and they’re the ones trying to rewrite the laws on abortion and forced birth, and if that leak were to go into law, things will get extremely dangerous for women and minorities in this country. Which is why I was so interested in this subject to begin with. It’s scary out there.

There have been other stories about fertility doctors who abused their positions, and even a short-lived Fox drama built around the idea. Condensed into a documentary premiering on Netflix, "Our Father" captures the pain and betrayal associated with that, while diluting the message by shooting and scoring the production using horror-movie conventions.

Employing dramatic recreations in subtle but manipulative ways, the film methodically breaks down the actions of Dr. Donald Cline, an Indiana fertility specialist who lied to his patients by using his own sperm to inseminate dozens of them.

The availability of DNA testing allowed those who gradually began to learn the truth to seek out information regarding others, conducting what amounted to a private investigation because of the inability or reluctance of local officials to take action against Cline, who was, outwardly, a pillar of the community.

Those events were set in motion by Jacoba Ballard, who was understandably shocked to discover that DNA showed she had several half-siblings. Director Lucie Jourdan proceeds from there to speak with others, including parents, children and associates of Cline -- who say they had "no idea" what was happening -- exploring everything from their dumbfounded reactions to the mechanics of how the doctor could have gotten away with the practice for so long.

Yes, he does walk among us! But this is totally insane. It’s not what the good LAWRD JAYSUS would want now, is it? No he wouldn’t want these abusive psychos smearing his good name, or hurling abuse in the name of GAWD! Which brings me to something that has been intriguing and troubling me lately. It was brought to light to me by one of our parishoners in upstate New York. There’s a movement afoot – again with people abusing the name of the good LAWRD JAYSUS – where people are attempting to have as many babies as they possibly can. This movement is called “Quiverfull” and it’s as disturbing as you might think it is!

It’s a cult-like group where the goal is to have as many children as possible and then send those kids out into the world like “arrows” (a “quiver” is a term that refers to a case archers use to hold their arrows) to spread the word of the Bible. In Our Father, Quiverfull is described as an organization that would feel right at home in The Handmaids Tale, where women are seen as breeders to create more followers of the verse and indoctrinate others.

They believe the Bible is law. One of the reasons Jacoba Ballard and her half-siblings thought Cline was connected to the group is because they saw the Bible verse Jeremiah 1:5 used on the website. The verse, “Before I formed you in your mother’s womb, I knew you,” is one that Cline frequently quoted.

It wasn’t just the “breeding” angle that drew their attention but the fact members of Quiverfull were allegedly careful to only produce white children due to fears they would one day disappear. And if you look at all the siblings Cline produced, they are almost all blue-eyed blonds. One documentary subject describes them as looking like the “perfect Aryan clan.”

Yes, think of the children! Why doesn’t somebody else PLEASE think of the children! I mean isn’t that what the LAWRD would want is it? Of course not! Did anybody ever see that movie from a couple years ago - Mad Max: Fury Road ? Remember how disturbing that opening scene was where women were forced to do the bidding of a mad man? That’s where this movement is headed! It’s a very disturbing and EVIL movement! And it will have dire consequences if it is allowed to continue!

Quiverfull is an ultra-conservative Christian movement mentioned in the film. Those in Quiverfull reject birth control and believe they can help spread the word of God by having as many children as possible. In 2009, NPR reported that Quiverfull was "a small group, probably 10,000 fast-growing families, mainly in the Midwest and South."

In Our Father, Ballard draws a link between Cline and Quiverfull, but it's not a strong one.

We learn in the film that Cline has an affinity for the Bible verse "Jeremiah 1:5," and Ballard notes it's "one of the Bible verses Quiverfull uses." The verse is: "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you."

Cline sibling Julie Harmon makes another wild connection, saying Quiverfull, at the time of the siblings' conception, focused on producing more members of the white race. "They were in fear that other races were infiltrating and the white race would eventually disappear," she says. Then we hear from Ballard, who points out that most of the biological Cline kids have blond hair and blue eyes. "It's almost like we're this perfect Aryan clan," she says. Again, there's nothing super concrete here to link Cline to Quiverfull.

Well that’s not the subject this week, now is it? But I’ve been deeply fascinated and also disturbed by this movement. Especially when you consider the fact that it’s got fans and celebrities who are procreating as much as humanly possible. In fact, reggae legend Bob Marley once stated that he’d like to have as many kids as there are rays of the sun. And even Chris Pratt is a fan of this movement. But I must digress. This is a real movement and there are real consequences for believing in something so off the wall batshit extreme!

Newly released body camera footage posted online showed an alleged cult member referring to his daughter as his "property."

The TikTok uploaded by Syran Warner, or @syranwarner, received more than 200,000 views and 800 comments from concerned viewers. The viral video can be viewed here.

Merriam-Webster defines a cult as a "great devotion to a person, idea, object, movement, or work." What can make following a cult dangerous are the systems of influence and control that members are subjected to.

Data published by Science Direct found that highly educated women searching for personal or spiritual identity are most likely to join a cult.

According to Warner, The Body began in 2003 by a man named Marc B. Warner claims that the cult allegedly creates family separation such as mothers abandoning their children.

Holy shit, folks! This one got pretty dark pretty fast! Well that’s it! We’re officially at the end of the season, everybody! We’re going to take a break but we’ll be back on July 21st. Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this season for:

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[font size="8"]This Fucking Guy: Doug Mastriano
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This week’s This Fucking Guy is the GOP Pennsylvania candidate for governor Doug Mastriano (Q – Insurrectionist). That’s right – the newest candidate for a position of actual power participated in the January 6th Insurrection. In case you’re wondering what his MAGA credentials are, he’s one of those guys when you look at them, you can shake your head with disgust and say “Where the hell did they find this guy?”. Well, I will answer you. He wholeheartedly supports Trump’s efforts to overturn the 2020 election and a complete and total ban on abortion, much like another candidate – this fucking guy Herschel Walker. His Facebook page is also filled to the brim with some absolutely batshit theories of what’s happening in the world today. Which of course is what attracted Mr. MAGA King Emperor Donald Trump to his cause. And also in case you were wondering, yes, the field of pro MAGA candidates is only going to get crazier and more extreme with each election from now on.

On the issues, Mr. Mastriano gave full-throated endorsements of the conservative agenda, including the repeal of Pennsylvania’s no-excuse mail-in ballot law, an abortion ban and former President Donald Trump’s unfounded claims of voter fraud.

These positions were echoed by many in the nine-person primary field. But what made him stand out was his unapologetic embrace of those positions’ extremes — such as allowing no exceptions for rape, incest or the life of the parent when it comes to abortion, or sharing patently false information on the number of mail-in ballots requested in 2020.

GOP operatives, many of whom worked for rival candidates, had argued that such positions won’t fly with the moderate and independent voters Mr. Mastriano will need to win the state come November.

He also was a middling fundraiser, raising just $1.5 million — fifth-most in the GOP field, but almost all from individual, small-dollar donors. And he garnered just a handful of endorsements from state GOP officials, instead racking up endorsements from former Trump administration officials, such as former national security adviser Michael Flynn.

Yup – that’s all it takes to rack up endorsements from the MAGA crowd. And when you have people like Michael Flynn and Roger Stone on your side, well, it’s pretty much a given that you’re a MAG A / Q conspiracy theory nutjob. Oh and it gets worse, so much worse! In fact pretty much Mr. Mastriano’s entire campaign is being built on election disinformation. Much like that crazy woman Kandiss Taylor that we discussed earlier. Yeah these are the people who we will have to deal with. Even worse is that the Stop The Steal people are now running for office. Scary times ahead!

Democrats and allied groups are launching a $6 million digital, television and voter mobilization campaign attacking GOP Pennsylvania gubernatorial candidate Doug Mastriano, betting that his pledges to completely ban abortion will turn off swing state voters.

The ads, which will highlight Mastriano’s position and public comments against abortion rights, will begin airing in Pennsylvania on Monday. Sponsored by the political nonprofit Strategic Victory Fund along with other major Democratic donors and allied organizations, the campaign is being run by affiliates of Planned Parenthood and the Democratic Governors Association, along with the Pennsylvania-based progressive nonprofit group Commonwealth Communications.

The campaign is a massive sum for the starting gate of the most high-profiled gubernatorial races in the country. And it’s the latest indication that Democrats nationwide believe a potential Supreme Court decision overturning the landmark case Roe v. Wade will be a boon for turnout in November. In Pennsylvania, outgoing Democratic Gov. Tom Wolf has pledged to veto legislation restricting abortion access in the Republican-controlled legislature. But Mastriano, a state senator, has sponsored legislation that would ban abortion as soon as a heartbeat is detected.

Gee… ya think? But here’s the thing – Trump has the MAGA world tied up between supporting election denier Doug Mastriano and reality denier Dr. Mehmet Oz. And of course Trump picks the most incompetent buffoons who could ever possibly be nominated for any kind of office to run. Which is why Mastriano is perfect for the job! And if you can imagine that he’s about as far right as it gets, you are definitely correct in that assumption! Oh by the way – one of his nuttier stances? He thinks everyone registered to vote should have to reregister! Gee, how many ways could that go wrong?

State Sen. Doug Mastriano, a far-right Republican who built a large following seeking to overturn President Joe Biden’s win in Pennsylvania, is the GOP nominee for governor, NBC News projected Tuesday.

After 10:30 p.m. ET, Mastriano led his rivals by more than 20 points. He'll face Democratic nominee Josh Shapiro, the state attorney general, who ran unopposed, in November.

Should Mastriano, who received former President Donald Trump's last-minute backing Saturday, prevail in the general election, he would be able to appoint a secretary of state to oversee elections. He has pledged that his choice would “reset” the state’s voter rolls so everyone would “have to re-register.”

Mastriano's winning campaign message wove together Christian nationalism, election denialism and a rejection of Covid mitigation policies. A number of Republicans have expressed concern that he is too extreme to beat Shapiro in November, with some state GOP leaders working behind the scenes in the past week to consolidate a large field around another candidate in hope of uniting the non-Mastriano vote.

Yes, what could possibly go wrong? That is a good question! And come on, too extreme? This from the party who gave us the most foul, miserable, vile, and worthless excuse of a human being to become president in American history? Yeah keep talking about extremism guys. We’re eventually heading toward a country where everyone has guns and nobody has access to abortion. Because… you know, priorities! But that said there is one plus side is that the GOP race for Pennsylvania governor is a crowded one, and nobody sticks out of the pack. And we might, just might, dodge a bullet by not having fucking Dr. Oz in the senate.

Doug Mastriano, a leading voice advancing former President Donald Trump's lies about election fraud, will win the crowded Republican primary for Pennsylvania governor, CNN projects.
Mastriano, a state senator who was endorsed by Trump, is now set to face Democratic state Attorney General Josh Shapiro. They are vying to replace term-limited Democratic Gov. Tom Wolf.

The GOP's selection of Mastriano means that if he wins in November, an election denier who attempted to overturn voters' will in the 2020 election would have power over the election machinery in one of the nation's most important battleground states during the 2024 presidential race. In Pennsylvania, the governor appoints the secretary of state -- the person in charge of running Pennsylvania's elections and signing off on its electors.

Mastriano used his victory speech Tuesday night to mock Rachel Levine, the US assistant secretary of health and an admiral in the United States Public Health Service Commissioned Corps, who is transgender.

That’s your GOP front runner for a gubernatorial position, everybody! He spouts conspiracy theories, sucks up to a wannabe dictator, and really hates trans people! That’s Doug Mastriano, this week’s:

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[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner: Aliens Exist!
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Welcome back to our segment where we attempt to explain the unexplainable, Conspiracy Corner! In these trying times, when we have a brewing war and a raging pandemic, now a possible civil war, people often turn to conspiracy theories when they just don’t want to read past the headlines. We are of course coming to you live from our underground doomsday shelter deep in the New Mexico badlands! In an undisclosed location of course! Let me just adjust my tin foil hat for maximum government interference… they are trying to read yours and my thoughts after all… ah there we go! So this week, with all the problems going on in the world – war, pandemic, poverty, record inflation , Congress chose to devote an entire day to discussing the one topic that’s on everyone’s minds – do aliens exist? Come on, was Tom DeLonge headlining the keynote speakers here? Oh come on, we kid! We know that Tom is an avid UFO conspiracy theorist! But it’s truly insane that this is what Congress chooses to waste time on, no wonder they have ridiculously low approval ratings!

The first public congressional hearing into UFO sightings in the US in over 50 years ended with few answers about the unexplained phenomenon.

Two top military officials tasked with probing the sightings said that most can ultimately be identified.

But they said a number of events have defied all attempts at explanation.

The sightings recorded by the military include 11 "near-misses" with US aircraft.

Some Unexplained Aerial Phenomena (UAPs) - as the military terms UFOs - seem to have been moving without any discernible means of propulsion.

So come on, unexplained ariel phenomenon? That could literally be anything. It could be an experimental airplane. It could be chemtrails. It could be the lizard people. You don’t know, man, you don’t know! But that said is the truth really out there? There’s only one real explanation for all of this, and of course there is. I’m not saying that it’s UFOs, but it’s UFOs. But I love that it’s attempting to dispel disinformation, like what President Biden is attempting to do. Alas, it’s too late for that, but you can’t blame them for trying! Or can you?

Last week the Pentagon sent some of its top brass to Congress to deliver a briefing on UFO sightings. The hearing was the first of its kind in over 50 years. It involved two members of the Department of Defense, two new UFO videos, and a whole lot of unanswered questions.

The hearing was conducted by the House of Representatives Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence, and featured two speakers: Ronald Moultrie, the Pentagon’s top intelligence official, and Scott Bray, Deputy Director of Naval Intelligence. The goal of the hearing was to update lawmakers on the progress made by a newly formed UFO task force, except UFOs are now called Unidentified Aerial Phenomenon (UAP). The task force was setup after a 2021 government report that documented 144 UAP sightings by military pilots since 2014, according to Reuters. That report stated only one UAP — a large, deflating ballon — was able to be explained. The rest fell into five categories: airborne clutter, natural atmospheric phenomena, USG or U.S. industry developmental programs, foreign adversary systems, and a catchall “other” bin.

The hearing got interesting when Mr. Bray revealed the task force’s latest UAP footage. As an example of an “observation in real-time,” he played a video of an object whizzing by a Navy aircraft. It happens so fast that’s it’s impossible to observe it closely. He notes this is typical of a lot of UAP encounters, in that they happen in the blink of an eye. The brevity of the encounters and associated lack of high quality data is typical for a lot of UAP sightings. It’s indicative of the struggle the task force faces in trying to determine the nature and intent of UAPs, he said.

Oh come on, aliens exist! If there’s anything that I learned from my high school years, it’s that Blink 182 taught me that!

But here’s where it gets weird – and you knew that it was going to. But before we get into that, have you seen the Space Force recruitment video? Whew, man it is something else. Roll that tape.

Stay on target! Stay on target! OK I’m getting off topic here, but I am making a point – Space Force might have had something to do with that hearing on UFOs and the unexplained aerial phenomenon that Congress doesn’t have a clue what it is. And you know what? We don’t either! But that’s exactly what they want you to think!

A House Intelligence subcommittee on Tuesday held the first congressional hearing on UFOs in more than 50 years.

Testimony was heard from Under Secretary of Defense for Intelligence and Security Ronald Moultrie and Deputy Director of Naval Intelligence Scott Bray, who are overseeing the Pentagon’s new task force investigating what are now being called unidentified aerial phenomena (UAPs).

Here are highlights from the hearing.
The Pentagon wants to destigmatize UAP reporting

Rep. André Carson (D-Ind.), the chairman of the House Counterterrorism, Counterintelligence and Counterproliferation Subcommittee, began the meeting with a call to destigmatize UAP reporting for pilots and other military officials.

Oh come on, is the truth out there? I’m asking for my many fans of aliens and alien conspiracies! In fact remember in the before times when the worst thing we had to worry about was when people wanted to storm the Rosewell military base that many believe to be known as Area 51 (see: Top 10 #7-6 and Top 10 #8-16 ) ? That was just a mere 3 years ago but it feels like an eternity. But the reason why they had those hearings – the truth may actually be out there! Yes, that’s right, my friends – the reason why Congress held these hearings is because there’s now 400 reported incidents! That’s right – our good friend Tom DeLonge might actually be right about this!

A database of reports of UFOs now includes about 400 incidents, up from 143 assessed in a report released about a year ago, a Navy intelligence official told lawmakers at a congressional hearing on Tuesday.

The military's 2021 report said no evidence of aliens had been found. Scott W. Bray, the deputy director of Naval intelligence, told lawmakers that they still haven't uncovered anything "nonterrestrial in origin," even though there are incidents they can't explain.

None of the documented objects had attempted to communicate with U.S. aviators, and no attempt had been made to communicate with them, he said, as they all appeared to be unmanned.

Reports of unidentified flying objects – now called unexplained aerial phenomena or UAPs by the military – have been increasing, said Bray. He cited improved sensors, an increase in drones and other non-military unmanned aerial systems, and "aerial clutter" such as Mylar balloons as causes for the uptick.

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people, and people are dumb! I want to preface this segment by saying that we’re not going to cover the Trucker Freedom Convoy because everyone knows they’re dumb and we really try not to include political segments. And what makes a people are dumb story? Well let’s put it this way – someone who robs a Taco Bell? Not People Are Dumb worthy. But someone who destroys a Taco Bell and then calls 911 because they ran out of Nacho Cheese Doritos Tacos? Yeah that does thousands of dollars of damage for an item that costs 99 cents, and that’s a People Are Dumb story! So who’s stupid this week? I want to start with tis story out of Belfast, Maine where a guy attempted to hide from the cops in plain sight. So wannabe thieves, take note – attempting to disguise yourself as a chair? Not a way to hide from the cops.

A scene straight out of a cartoon played out this week in Belfast, Maine, when police found themselves confronting a “ghost” in front of a hotel.

It happened at 12:40 a.m. Sunday, May 1, at the Admiral’s Ocean Inn, and a photo shared on Facebook shows the “apparition” was seated in a chair. Belfast is about 30 miles southwest of Bangor.

“Here at Belfast Police Department we have seen some crafty ways of hiding from the police. This unfortunately is not one of them,” the department wrote.

Under the blanket was a 53-year-old man who police say was trying to hide — for good reason. The same guy had been removed from the property three hours earlier after causing a “disturbance” while intoxicated, police said.

Next up – I want to go to Minnesota for this one. Here’s the thing – again another idiot attempting to flee from the cops. And if you’re going to flee, it’s never a good idea to drive directly into a brick wall, because we all know that the brick wall is going to win 10 times out of 10, right? It’s simple physics, don’t you know? Maybe unless you’re driving that insane armored tank that Alex Jones has. But yeah this happened, and don’t be like this, kids. Just don’t.

A Minnesota woman was arrested Monday night after her attempt to flee from police ended when she drove into fresh concrete.

According to Hubbard Broadcasting affiliate KAAL-TV, Rochester police saw the woman drive through a red light at around 4:40 p.m. When the officers tried to stop her vehicle, she refused to stop.

A short time later, another officer tried to stop the woman near Westover Lane and Seventh Street Northeast but she accelerated, crashed through construction barricades and drove into 150 feet of freshly poured concrete, bringing her to a stop. She was then arrested and taken to a hospital for a psychological evaluation.

KAAL reports that the woman is estimated to have caused between $30,000 and $40,000 in damages.

Police told KAAL that they have received at least nine complaints about the woman driving erratically and using a bullhorn to “spread the word of God” since May 11.

Next up – we have to do this story out of West Virginia. OK I don’t do the hyper caffeinated beverages like Monster or Rockstar or Mountain Dew voltage. In fact the last time I had a Red Bull was like 10 years ago. And I was drunk. That said, this is a truly bizarre robbery that took place at a business, and I’m guessing that one of these things wouldn’t exist without the other. And I do know that after you drink those beverages, when you gotta go, you gotta go!

A man was charged for allegedly breaking into a Randolph County business after DNA results showed he was in the building.

Back in July 2021, deputies with the Randolph County Sheriff’s Department responded to a breaking and entering call at J Rod’s Vending in Valley Bend, according to a criminal complaint.

When deputies arrived at the establishment, they saw that the business “had items thrown everywhere.” Deputies said they also saw “a yellow liquid on the floor that was believed to be human waste,” and two Mountain Dew Voltage cans which were not there when the business has closed, according to an employee.

Deputies noticed that the cans had been opened and drank from, so the cans were later sent to the West Virginia State Police lab for analysis, according to the complaint.

Next up – now we go to the Sunshine State, that’s the state of Florida, don’t you know? Because Florida never fails to bring the crazy each and every week. We have to talk about this story out of the town of Englewood (not to be confused with Inglewood, California). And this is one of those stories that has everything! It’s got a sledgehammer, ape masks, a janky getaway car – you know, everything. And that’s why I always love to cover the batshit insane stories that come out of Florida!

A Florida man was arrested Tuesday for using a sledgehammer to steal over $800 from a laundromat.

The Charlotte County Sheriff’s Office said around 10:45 on May 8 Michael Justin Rowe, 32, and Taylor Marie Farrell, 34, went into a laundromat. Pictures show Rowe was wearing an ape mask and holding a sledgehammer.

Rowe used the sledgehammer to smash a coin change machine, taking about $800 from it, deputies said.

Meanwhile in video not released by the sheriff’s office, Farrell can be heard yelling “We got to go. You’ve been in here too long,” to Rowe before the pair drove off in a blue Mercury Marquis.

Finally this week – golf! Yes, there is nothing that is spared from the throws of stupidity. And of course it also involves Florida. You know, the state that Homer Simpson famously referred to as “America’s Wang”. There’s plenty of places where you can practice your swing. But maybe don’t practice your swing off the side of a major interstate highway! No matter how tempting it might be! Just one of those things – if you’re thinking about doing this, don’t. But then again there’s no limit to the stupidity of the residents of the Sunshine State!

A pair of Southwest Florida ‘vloggers’ driving down Interstate 75 captured a golf practice gone wrong on the side of the road.

Jose and Katherine Rodriguez live in Fort Myers but travel around the country documenting the everyday for their YouTube channel, “SouthernLife.”

The duo was driving down the interstate Friday afternoon during rush hour when their dash cam captured something they haven’t seen before on the side of the road.

“We see this guy on the side of the road literally having a full golf game,” Jose says. “This is like Tiger Woods junior out there, he was doing his thing.” ...............(more)


That’s it this week for:

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Stupidest State 2022
[br] [/font]

16 states will enter and only one state will become the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

It. All. Comes. Down. To. THIS!!! Here we are at the championship, folks! Whew, and what a ride it has been! Last week, it was a Final Four for the ages. In the Layover League championship, Georgia towered over all contenders to become the league’s newest champion! Meanwhile, some absolutely shocking developments in the Layover League as Tennessee stunned Missouri with that epic comeback in the second half to take the conference championship! This week it’s time for our tournament’s grand finale! Tennessee. Georgia. One of these two states will win it all and the other will go home! Who will tower above the rest? We are live at the former home of the Los Angeles Lakers, the fabulous Kia Forum in Inglewood for all the festivities! The champagne is on ice, people!

[font size="4"]Stupidest State 2022 Championship: Georgia Vs Tennessee [/font]

[font size="2"]Georgia [/font]

Well folks, the Peach State has towered over the competition! And you want to know why? Well they’re led by Brian Kemp and now they have Marjorie Taylor Greene. But the MAGA crowd that is running Georgia is about to be getting even bigger with Herschel Walker. That’s right – the MAGA crowd sure can pick them and it’s totally insane that this guy even has a chance! But it’s like – put a whole bunch of evil people in the same room – how can someone be more evil than the next guy? Well that happened at Mr. Walker’s victory party!

Herschel Walker, the gaffe-prone former NFL running back endorsed by former President Donald Trump, won the GOP primary election for U.S. Senate in Georgia, NBC News projected Tuesday.

Walker will face off against incumbent Democratic Sen. Raphael Warnock, who has a strong shot at winning. One needn’t look beyond Walker’s scandal-plagued campaign for answers why.

Walker the football player ran like the wind. Walker the political candidate ran like he was stuck in quicksand. The Walker campaign had all the backing a Republican candidate could want: He was endorsed by both Trump and Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, and he was blessed with a nice war chest from right-wing donors who apparently liked his rant-filled appearances on conservative media. But all of this has just been dressing for an obviously flawed candidate.

Yeah they were fucking booing a president who was expressing remorse over 3rd graders getting shot, and then cheered when Tucker Carlson called Biden “frail”! What a bunch of fucking assholes and psychopaths! That’s a new low. And by the way, since the leak on the Roe V Wade ruling that could totally change the face of America as we know it, Georgia is doubling down on abortion laws and making things worse. Yes, they are actively making things a hell of a lot worse.

The jockeying to win over conservative voters ahead of the upcoming May 24 primary has prompted many leading Republican candidates to support an all-out ban on abortion that even key activists aren’t aggressively pursuing.

Polarizing primary campaign politics emboldened many top Georgia GOP candidates to take strident positions on abortion even before a leaked opinion suggested the U.S. Supreme Court may strike down the constitutional right to the procedure.

As Democrats try to channel fury over the potential ruling into electoral energy, Republicans are contending with pressure for added restrictions that go well beyond the state’s 2019 anti-abortion law if Roe v. Wade is overturned.

Now what was once a fringe idea among some social and religious conservatives — a complete ban on abortion, without exceptions for rape and incest — is now a part of the platforms of GOP favorites.

Read more: https://www.ajc.com/politics/once-a-fringe-idea-many-georgia-republicans-now-push-for-total-abortion-ban/V3AWSIBRE5FXFKK2QMHQDAECYA/

Now you might be wondering – are things going to get any better in the Peach State? The short answer is easy – no. The longer answer is that it’s going to be more complicated than that. But we do have potential Georgia governor Stacy Abrhams, savior of the 2020 election, to explain why it’s not going to get any better anytime soon. And who can you blame for it? Well you can blame the usual group of idiots running things and your MAGA voting neighbors.

Stacey Abrams is right: Georgia's Republican governor, Brian Kemp, has helped turn his state into one of the worst places to live in the country.

Abrams, the Democrats’ presumptive nominee to face off against Kemp for the governorship this fall, made her declaration during a fundraiser in Georgia on Saturday. And although she predicted her words would be taken out of context and used against her, she was quite clear about the things Kemp has done to make her state a demonstrably bad place to call home.

“I am tired of hearing about how we’re the best state in the country to do business when we are the worst state in the country to live,” Abrams said, according to audio published by The Gwinnett Daily Post.

“Let me contextualize,” she added. “When you’re No. 48 for mental health, when we’re No. 1 for maternal mortality, when you have an incarceration rate that is on the rise and wages are on the decline, then you are not the No. 1 place to live.”

She went on to say: “Georgia is capable of greatness, but we need greatness to be in our governor’s office. We need someone who actually believes in bringing all of us in there together.”

[font size="2"]Tennessee [/font]

The Volunteer State propelled to the top of the Flyover League because they are a hotbed of conservative idiocy and religious insanity. The state capital, Nashville, may be the home of what many refer to as Music City, and that’s primarily because it’s the home of country music and a little venue known as the Grand Ole Opry. But outside of Nashville’s outer beauty, there’s a hell of a lot of inner ugly. But what propelled Tennessee to the top of the Layover League is they are the ass part of the Bible Belt and there’s a lot of religious insanity in that state. In fact Tennessee is so insane that they actually want to burn books – not just ban them! I’ve seen where this story goes and it never ends well.

State Rep. Jerry Sexton said Wednesday he would “burn” books found obscene by an expanded state textbook commission charged with policing school library selections.

In debate with Sexton over legislation requiring school districts to submit lists of library books to the commission, state Rep. John Ray Clemmons, D-Nashville, asked what the state would do with the books, put them out in the street or set them on fire?

Sexton responded, “I don’t have a clue, but I would burn ’em.”

The House passed the measure, but it is unclear whether it will pass the General Assembly. Sexton, a Bean Station Republican who is not seeking re-election this year, acknowledged the House and Senate bills are likely to go to a committee to work out differences. Sexton carried the bill for House Speaker Cameron Sexton, R-Crossville, and Sen. Jon Lundberg, R-Bristol.

Holy shit! And we have no doubt that the GOP and the Christian fascists will go full Nazi if they win in the 2024 elections. This is just a small preview of where that party is heading! And here’s how backwards Tennessee is – there’s a county in Tennessee where the director of the board of education doesn’t have to have a degree in education! Yes, apparently anyone can be elected for anything! It’s just a title, so who cares what the actual job entitles? It is criminally insane how much conservatives are taking this country backwards. And Fox News will cheerlead their every move!

Leaders of Hamblen County school met Tuesday evening to decide who would oversee a school district with 18 schools and around 10,000 students.

Before that, they voted to use an emergency protocol to change some of the board's policies. Normally, a proposal to change the policy would need to pass two readings over the course of two separate meetings. However, because they used an emergency protocol, the policy changed after one reading.

They removed the requirement for directors of schools to have a background in education. That paved the way for General Arnold W. Bunch Jr. to be chosen as the district's next superintendent. While he has no experience teaching children, he does have an extensive résumé in military service.

He has a Master of Science in National Security Strategy from the National War College and currently serves as a commander of the Air Force Material Command. He has also flown more than 2,500 hours and earned a Distinguished Service Medal.


That’s right – in Tennessee, the director of education doesn’t have to have any formal education experience! Just…. AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! And you know how far backwards conservatives are taking the Volunteer State? They’re bringing the Confederacy back! That’s right – the people who we once branded as traitors after the Civil War are now becoming fashionable again! So yeah keep voting conservative folks and watch how far off the deep end your state can go! Tennessee is dragging neighboring states with them, it’s almost like a vortex!

"Cities across the nation have memorials and monuments that represent historical figures and events. However, as time progresses some of these pieces of history can be seen as insensitive and a catalyst for controversy.

The City of Forest Hills has been made aware of this reality recently because of five streets in the city: Confederate Drive, General Forrest Court, Robert E. Lee Court, Robert E. Lee Drive and Jefferson Davidson Drive.
The City is concerned that people who live in the City, and people who pass through the City, do not know the origin of the names, i.e., that they were chosen by a developer, not by the elected and appointed leadership of the City, or the citizens in Forest Hills," the petition reads.

However, the streets themselves are a part of "public real property" meaning that Forest Hills owns the streets and is expected to maintain them, referenced in Act. TCA 4-1-412 (a)(8).

Since the streets are public real property named after historic entities and figures, they are considered memorials under TCA 4-1-412 (a)(7). This makes it necessary for the city to file the petition in order to change the names.

[font size="2"]And The Winner Is: [/font]

Wow, this was an incredible matchup! Georgia and Tennessee were tied at 80 with 2 minutes left in the game, but it’s been a back and forth defensive battle. Tennessee has the ball… for three!! YES!!! Oh we have a foul! First basket is in… good! Second basket…. It’s in! Tennessee has pulled it out, but Georgia is coming back. Score tied at 85 with 15 seconds left… Tennessee for three… IT’S GOOD!!! Tennessee has nailed it, folks! They have won the game and they are celebrating on the court! Wow, what a shot! It’s all over, everybody! Final score: 88 – 85! Tennessee is celebrating on the court, they are our new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

[font size="4"]Net Cutting Ceremony [/font]

[font size="4"]Statement From The Commissioner [/font]

Thank you very much everybody! I’d like to congratulate Tennessee on becoming the new champions of the NFFSA! They defied the odds and stunned the pundits with their Flyover League win against rivals Missouri! That was a truly outstanding effort! Tennessee, you are a shining example of conservative idiocy, religious intolerance, and hateful bigotry! I’d like to thank all the staff, the venues, the crews, and the players and coaches! Tennessee, you guys earned this one! We’ll see you next year! Now let’s sing that song that we all know and love!

[font size="4"]One Shining Moment [/font]

[font size="4"]And Now This: [/font]
[font size="4"]Silk Sonic[/font]

Folks, let’s get this post season party started! My next guest are probably the biggest group we’ve had on the show to date. You can see them live at their residency at Dolby Theater in Las Vegas through August 23rd. Playing their song “777” from their album “An Evening With Silk Sonic”, give it up for Anderson Paak and Bruno Mars – it’s Silk Sonic!!!

Thank you Santa Ana! This is it – this is the end of Season 12, everybody! Boy did that fly by fast, didn’t it? I want to thank my staff, my crew, all of our host venues, and of course all of the musical guests we’ve had through this entire season. We’re going to take a few weeks off, but don’t worry – we’ll have plenty of content between now and when we come back. We’ll be returning July 21st with the start of our World Tour 2022 and Midterm Madness! See everyone in July!


Host: Initech
Silk Sonic Appears Courtesy Of: Atlantic Recording Corporation
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of A Live Audience At: Constellation Room at Observatory OC, Santa Ana, California
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

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