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Sat Dec 11, 2021, 05:58 PM

what would you do

If your oldest friend called you and told you she no longer wanted to live and she was drinking? After listening to her for an hour and noticing from a distance that she was slurring her words. Would you call the police? I did and they went over the house and took her to the hospital. She was release today because she was fine and not suicidal she was just sad. I get the sad thing and I've said things before like she said but not to the extent she did. I new when I called on her that there was a chance of this happening but there was also a chance of her not waking up. I chose her getting pissed at me instead of explaining to her daughters why I did nothing and could have saved her.

What would you have done?

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Response to Tickle (Original post)

Sat Dec 11, 2021, 06:01 PM

1. If her daughters lived closer, I might have called them.

You made the best decision you could under the circumstances. Hopefully she will be able to get the help she needs now.

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Response to Tickle (Original post)

Sat Dec 11, 2021, 06:02 PM

2. same as you... the only choice you had.

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Response to Tickle (Original post)

Sat Dec 11, 2021, 06:03 PM

3. You did the right thing!

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Response to Tickle (Original post)

Sat Dec 11, 2021, 06:04 PM

4. Given the situation...

I would have done the same. She will maybe get over being pissed, but no one gets over being dead.
I had a simile situation with a very elderly friend who was not returning calls. She lived several states away and had no family. I had the local police check on her and she was mad as a wet when, but she lived five more years.

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Response to Tickle (Original post)

Sat Dec 11, 2021, 06:07 PM

5. You had the best of intentions... you did the right thing.

You are a good friend!

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Response to Tickle (Original post)

Sat Dec 11, 2021, 06:11 PM

6. What you did to a tee. You did the right thing.

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Response to Tickle (Original post)

Sat Dec 11, 2021, 06:19 PM

7. Your friend made the decision for you by calling you.

Thanks for following up on her lead.

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Response to aeromanKC (Reply #7)

Sat Dec 11, 2021, 09:09 PM

16. Thank you

all for your responses I needed them ❤️ Peace ✌️

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Response to Tickle (Original post)

Sat Dec 11, 2021, 06:20 PM

8. Dropped everything and gone over.

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Response to WhiskeyGrinder (Reply #8)

Sat Dec 11, 2021, 09:09 PM

17. I would have

but we live in different states

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Response to Tickle (Original post)

Sat Dec 11, 2021, 06:22 PM

9. Friends lookout for friends. You did good and I hope she sees it that way. nt

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Response to Tickle (Original post)

Sat Dec 11, 2021, 06:23 PM

10. I know of a very similar situation that occured.it was a sister

intervening on behalf of her step brother. His friends had called her to let her know that he was suicidal.
It hasn't gone well. He checked himself out of the facility they *police and ambulance were involved) as soon a he could and the relationship between them went from close to non-existant as it between him and most of their other family members. He was a smart and hard working kid who achieved a lot at an early age. He put himself through college, had at one point to high paying jobs, bought properties etc However he entered into downhill spiral substance abuse. He hasn't forgiven her for it and he is still in the downward spiral. She is heartbroken over it but felt she had no other choice.

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Response to Tickle (Original post)

Sat Dec 11, 2021, 06:29 PM

11. I would've done the same thing

It's better for your friend to angry with you than dead.

Welcome to DU

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Response to Tickle (Original post)

Sat Dec 11, 2021, 06:30 PM

12. I suppose there are a lot

of variables and personal opinions that would drive the answer to a tough question like this.
I don't believe I would have called the police, but I would have been either in my car on the way over there immediately, or calling someone who was close to her to do the same if I couldn't get there quick enough.
The fact that your friend is talking about it, regardless of how drunk, is a serious matter that probably should be addressed. Think of it this way, a lot of people (and I mean a lot) work up the "courage" do do it by getting drunk or something first. Even if she doesn't feel the same way sober, she may wind up drinking again and acting on her feelings in that moment. It's a very dangerous and very difficult position to be in, but there is no mulligan in that game.
So in the end, if you had no other method of dealing with it, I don't think you had much of a choice. You can explain to her one day, when she's willing, that the small chance of NOT acting and finding out the next day that she was dead was a risk that you weren't willing to take with her life.
I hope you are able to mend things in time.

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Response to Tickle (Original post)

Sat Dec 11, 2021, 06:31 PM

13. Same as you, but also keep a list of her personal contacts' phone numbers (i.e. daughters)...

Itís scary to be put in that position.

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Response to Tickle (Original post)

Sat Dec 11, 2021, 07:10 PM

14. A month ago, I did the same as you

A couple of friends called around one evening to say that a third friend, we'll call her Rose*, was threatening self-harm. None of us are young. Rose is in her 70s, is bipolar, suffers severe scoliosis and opiate addiction. She was also one of Australia's top TV stars in her day.

Why they came to me, I don't know. However I made a few calls to mental health agencies etc. In the end it seemed like the only option was the local police, for them to do a "wellness check", so I called them.

So yes, you did exactly the right thing. Some folk, well-meaning as they may be, will kick the can down the road. It's gotta stop somewhere. Rose was furious at the police turning up but she honestly thinks it was one of the other two that called them. I haven't bothered to correct her!

*Not her real name.

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Response to Tickle (Original post)

Sat Dec 11, 2021, 07:27 PM

15. You did the right thing.

Been there, done that. If it makes her mad, so be it. It's much easier to get over being mad than to get over being dead. That said, I didn't stop shaking until I got a call that she was okay; and I didn't know her, I just happened to be the one who answered the phone that day.


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Response to Tickle (Original post)

Sun Dec 12, 2021, 04:30 AM

18. I agree that you did exactly the right thing. You may well have saved her life.

She needed help and you answered.

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Response to Tickle (Original post)

Sun Dec 12, 2021, 09:46 AM

19. If you had done nothing, and she had hurt herself, you'd be miserable (n/t)

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