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Sat Sep 4, 2021, 11:19 AM

The Buttigiegs had twins!

Last edited Sat Sep 4, 2021, 02:23 PM - Edit history (3)



124 replies, 9608 views

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Reply The Buttigiegs had twins! (Original post)
Mosby Sep 2021 OP
LakeArenal Sep 2021 #1
MissB Sep 2021 #2
hlthe2b Sep 2021 #3
TexasBushwhacker Sep 2021 #96
samnsara Sep 2021 #4
Budi Sep 2021 #5
StarryNite Sep 2021 #6
mopinko Sep 2021 #7
Mr.Bill Sep 2021 #97
Retrograde Sep 2021 #109
mopinko Sep 2021 #115
Pacifist Patriot Sep 2021 #116
mopinko Sep 2021 #117
zeusdogmom Sep 2021 #8
hamsterjill Sep 2021 #9
SheltieLover Sep 2021 #11
cilla4progress Sep 2021 #10
catrose Sep 2021 #21
femmedem Sep 2021 #84
elleng Sep 2021 #99
Treefrog Sep 2021 #121
msfiddlestix Sep 2021 #120
FM123 Sep 2021 #12
pazzyanne Sep 2021 #13
wryter2000 Sep 2021 #14
brer cat Sep 2021 #15
Bayard Sep 2021 #16
LizBeth Sep 2021 #17
MoonRiver Sep 2021 #18
calimary Sep 2021 #19
Indykatie Sep 2021 #20
NurseJackie Sep 2021 #22
StarfishSaver Sep 2021 #25
OrangeJoe Sep 2021 #83
StarfishSaver Sep 2021 #85
Hassin Bin Sober Sep 2021 #90
StevieM Sep 2021 #48
NurseJackie Sep 2021 #53
StarfishSaver Sep 2021 #94
Jim G. Sep 2021 #74
NurseJackie Sep 2021 #88
StarfishSaver Sep 2021 #93
radical noodle Sep 2021 #111
radical noodle Sep 2021 #110
Politicub Sep 2021 #23
Upthevibe Sep 2021 #24
tblue37 Sep 2021 #26
Name removed Sep 2021 #27
PortTack Sep 2021 #30
PortTack Sep 2021 #28
cbabe Sep 2021 #29
kcr Sep 2021 #32
mountain grammy Sep 2021 #35
SunSeeker Sep 2021 #36
kcr Sep 2021 #38
kcr Sep 2021 #40
SunSeeker Sep 2021 #43
kcr Sep 2021 #47
SunSeeker Sep 2021 #50
kcr Sep 2021 #54
SunSeeker Sep 2021 #56
kcr Sep 2021 #58
SunSeeker Sep 2021 #59
Mosby Sep 2021 #63
Moebym Sep 2021 #67
SunSeeker Sep 2021 #69
kcr Sep 2021 #72
SunSeeker Sep 2021 #78
pinkstarburst Sep 2021 #70
SunSeeker Sep 2021 #79
summer_in_TX Sep 2021 #106
SunSeeker Sep 2021 #108
summer_in_TX Sep 2021 #123
Name removed Sep 2021 #124
StevieM Sep 2021 #44
kcr Sep 2021 #46
StevieM Sep 2021 #51
kcr Sep 2021 #57
StevieM Sep 2021 #62
kcr Sep 2021 #65
StarfishSaver Sep 2021 #87
StarfishSaver Sep 2021 #86
SunSeeker Sep 2021 #37
StevieM Sep 2021 #41
ShazzieB Sep 2021 #89
StevieM Sep 2021 #98
mdelaguna Sep 2021 #114
Ms. Toad Sep 2021 #42
SunSeeker Sep 2021 #49
Ms. Toad Sep 2021 #52
meadowlander Sep 2021 #102
SunSeeker Sep 2021 #103
meadowlander Sep 2021 #104
SunSeeker Sep 2021 #105
riverwalker Sep 2021 #76
StevieM Sep 2021 #80
Music Man Sep 2021 #61
FreeState Sep 2021 #64
Boomerproud Sep 2021 #68
FreeState Sep 2021 #73
Upthevibe Sep 2021 #119
cbabe Sep 2021 #122
elleng Sep 2021 #31
ananda Sep 2021 #33
SunSeeker Sep 2021 #34
Hekate Sep 2021 #39
Jilly_in_VA Sep 2021 #45
Hekate Sep 2021 #55
Moebym Sep 2021 #60
GoCubsGo Sep 2021 #66
Treefrog Sep 2021 #71
Tiger8 Sep 2021 #75
secondwind Sep 2021 #77
tblue37 Sep 2021 #81
markie Sep 2021 #82
Botany Sep 2021 #91
ShazzieB Sep 2021 #92
MustLoveBeagles Sep 2021 #95
RicROC Sep 2021 #100
ShazzieB Sep 2021 #112
Crepuscular Sep 2021 #118
smirkymonkey Sep 2021 #101
Name removed Sep 2021 #107
BlancheSplanchnik Sep 2021 #113

Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 11:21 AM

1. ❤️🇺🇸❤️🇺🇸❤️🇺🇸❤️🇺🇸🌈🌈🌈🇺🇸🇺🇸&

Happy for all. What a great place the US can be.

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 11:22 AM

2. Awwww

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 11:24 AM

3. Wow... Hard to adopt newborns at all, but twins....! How fortunate they are.


Perhaps they worked with a surrogate? I hadn't heard, if so.

I can't imagine better parents for these little newbies. Kudos!

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Response to hlthe2b (Reply #3)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 08:50 PM

96. Yes, they worked with a surrogate

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 11:25 AM

4. awwwww i cant wait to watch them grow up.....

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 11:25 AM

5. Penelope Rose and Joseph August Buttigieg 🥂

We are delighted to welcome Penelope Rose and Joseph August Buttigieg to our family.

You 2 are going to have your hands full!!
(Put Anderson on speed dial)

WOW. What a happy day!
Beautiful pic.

Penny & Joey !!

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 11:28 AM

6. Awww

Such a sweet family.

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 11:28 AM

7. awww. i wanted twins so bad, even tho it terrified me.

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Response to mopinko (Reply #7)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 08:53 PM

97. I have older brothers (74) who are twins.

My advice to anyone with twins: Shoot yourself, immediately.

Best of luck to the happy couple.

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Response to mopinko (Reply #7)

Sun Sep 5, 2021, 01:18 AM

109. My sisters are twins

I remember my mother walking around the flat with one baby in each arm. I, of course, was a big help, being all of 3.5 years old.

They were only supposed to be one baby, and they're the only known twins on both sides of my family.

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Response to Retrograde (Reply #109)

Sun Sep 5, 2021, 07:56 AM

115. i had a pair of twin cousins.

my mom's only sibling, her brother, had 3 daughters, including the twins. also only twins known. her brother died young, and her folks both died w/in the next few years.
there was a cute pic of them on the mantle growing up. maybe that's what planted that idea, i dont know. they just seemed magic to me.

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Response to mopinko (Reply #7)

Sun Sep 5, 2021, 08:46 AM

116. I'm a twin and wanted twins with my first pregnancy in the worst way...

then I had my son and thanked the universe hourly that there was only one.

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Response to Pacifist Patriot (Reply #116)

Sun Sep 5, 2021, 08:51 AM

117. my 4th kid

i was pretty sure it was twins, but there was only 1 huge baby.
we suspect it was twins, but one died.

i was relieved when the ultrasound came back just 1, w that many kids already.
but i still get a twinge when i see twins. esp twin babies.

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 11:31 AM

8. I just saw this on Instagram and my heart exploded with happiness for them

I would imagine there are also a few heads exploding in certain circles.

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 11:32 AM

9. Those kiddos are going to have an awesome life!

Look at those faces!!! Complete and utter joy. Lucky little ones will be loved, cherished, challenged, nurtured, and adored.

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Response to hamsterjill (Reply #9)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 11:36 AM

11. They sure will!

And such a beautiful name for their princess!



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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 11:33 AM

10. Pete will be challenged

being Sec Transportation and parent of newborn twins...

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Response to cilla4progress (Reply #10)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 12:09 PM

21. I was thinking that!

I hope Chasten isn’t teaching this year!

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Response to catrose (Reply #21)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 06:06 PM

84. I think it will give Chasten purpose while Pete is so busy.

I've read somewhere that Chasten doesn't really care for the D.C. social scene, and I haven't read anywhere that he has gotten a new teaching job. It has got to be hard to uproot for someone else's career while giving up a job that you love. But he sure looks happy now!

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Response to femmedem (Reply #84)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 09:59 PM

99. Infant twins in DC, 2 dogs, 1 (high-paying) job,

interesting to learn their plans; anything's possible, of course.

I had a 'large' 1 bedroom apartment in SW DC, could accommodate infant twins + parents, but prolly wouldn't be satisfying for more than 2 years.

Recall how many grandparents are living?

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Response to femmedem (Reply #84)

Sun Sep 5, 2021, 11:29 AM

121. I read he was working, but that was ages ago.

Well, if both are working, I hope one or both get some time off!

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Response to cilla4progress (Reply #10)

Sun Sep 5, 2021, 11:27 AM

120. Right? That's what I was thinking...

My granddaughters has a gay father who is married. He and his partner had a friend who volunteered to be a surrogate and carry twins, fertilized by each them. Added to this, one of the fathers (who is the bio-father for both of my granddaughters) is American Iranian, and his partner is American Chinese. So their twin girls were not obviously identical twins, and each resemble completely their own bio-father. Their bio-mother is Caucasian. No particular resemblance in their features. As it happens, their girls and my granddaughter are 6 months apart in age. Now the 3 of them are 13.

Both worked in Silicon Valley, when the girls were born, and they hired a live in Nanny, until the girls were about 3 years old, then the one parent decided to be a stay at home dad, while going into Real Estate. So far that's worked out pretty well.

I expect Pete will be hiring a live in Nanny, but who knows. I don't see how he's going to be able to manage without one.

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 11:36 AM

12. Double Joy!!

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 11:39 AM

13. CONGRATULATIONS TO THE NEW FAMILY!!!

Penelope and Joseph are lucky kiddos, to have two such loving parents. So happy for them!

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 11:47 AM

14. OMG

They're tiny. So sweet.

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 11:48 AM

15. That is wonderful news!

Congratulations and best wishes to them.

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 11:49 AM

16. Congrats to the Buttigieg's!

Double the joy!

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 11:50 AM

17. That is such a beautiful picture the eye to eye.

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 11:52 AM

18. So happy for the sweet family!

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 11:52 AM

19. Awwwwwwwwwwww...

Welcome to the world, little sweeties! Your parents are leading the way to change and evolution for the better - for us all.

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 11:59 AM

20. The Happy Couple Just Outgrew Their 1 Bedroom Apartment in DC.

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 12:12 PM

22. Congrats! 💖🥰😘😍 (I'm not crying! You're crying!)

I hope they are braced for the attacks from the ugly anti-adoption brigade who were VERY HOSTILE to my announcement that my son and his husband had adopted. I'm sure DU isn't the only place where assholes like that exist... and with their high-profile, they're likely to have to endure a LOT of hatred.

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Response to NurseJackie (Reply #22)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 12:32 PM

25. Anti-Adoption brigade?

 

Last edited Sat Sep 4, 2021, 06:04 PM - Edit history (1)

Who in the hell is anti-adoption?

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Response to StarfishSaver (Reply #25)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 05:51 PM

83. Who do you think?

I must admit your naiveté is kind of sweet, though at the same time I wonder if you have been keeping up with the news. We have a full third of this country that think god hates gays, wants to control women's bodies, thinks our nation is run by baby eating satanists, the election was stolen by a conspiracy of thousands of officials from both parties and Trump is actually still President or is going to be "reinstated" in August (oops too late for that.) Hold you nose and take a gander at the right wing websites. Hatred is their driving force and there is plenty of hate out there for Pete and Chasten.

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Response to OrangeJoe (Reply #83)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 06:07 PM

85. Read Nurse Jackie's post again

 

She wasn't talking about homophobes on right wing websites. She was talking about anti-adoption types that came at her on DU.

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Response to StarfishSaver (Reply #85)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 07:33 PM

90. Yep. We had people on du saying not too long ago that marriage equality was a "pony"

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Response to NurseJackie (Reply #22)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 01:25 PM

48. I will repeat what I have previously said.

Adoption doesn't give children a better life, it gives them a different life.

Sometimes that life may be better than it would have been, and it sometimes it is worse. It varies from person to person.

And I continue to hope that your son and his husband worked to establish an open adoption with a birth mother who clearly loved her child very much.

I don't believe it is hostile to your son to point out that a mother loves her child and that he deserves to have her in his life.

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Response to StevieM (Reply #48)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 01:34 PM

53. No, it's a better life. So much better. Better than you'll ever know or can imagine.

Adoption doesn't give children a better life, it gives them a different life.
You really don't know that, do you? Do you know their situation? Were you involved in ANY way whatsoever? Have I met you? Do you know me or my family?

Anyone who answers "no" to any of the above questions can STFU.

And I continue to hope that your son and his husband worked to establish an open adoption with a birth mother who clearly loved her child very much.
You don't know that. Besides, that's really none of your business.

I don't believe it is hostile to your son to point out that a mother loves her child and that he deserves to have her in his life.
What nerve! The gall! You don't know that, either. Besides, that's also really none of your business.

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Response to NurseJackie (Reply #53)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 08:43 PM

94. I guess I didn't need to ask about the "anti-adoption brigade." I should have just waited

 

Because they've definitely showed up with bells on.

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Response to StevieM (Reply #48)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 02:52 PM

74. Unfortunately That's Not Always True

My Granddaughter's mother was adopted. She was able to find & make contact with her birth mother as an adult. She was more hurt discovering that she wasn't loved or wanted than she would have been had she never found her.


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Response to Jim G. (Reply #74)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 06:56 PM

88. Thank you for sharing. It's sad for me to realize that some folks online...

... think it's their personal obligation to project their personal issues onto others, and make inappropriate comments and judgemental accusations, and unsolicited advice, along with broad-brushed insinuations based on their own sanctimonious and ignorant biases.

hurt discovering that she wasn't loved or wanted
I'm sorry to hear that. I hope she's been able to find peace and move on.

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Response to StevieM (Reply #48)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 08:41 PM

93. Adoption does sometimes provide a better life

 

Only those involved in the adoption can judge - I don't understand all of these "experts" here pontificating about the choices and lives of people they don't know.

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Response to StevieM (Reply #48)

Sun Sep 5, 2021, 01:36 AM

111. Of course it's hostile

You're implying that you know more about their situation than they do. YOU.DO.NOT. You are taking a different situation of which you have personal knowledge and flipping it around to make it theirs.

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Response to NurseJackie (Reply #22)

Sun Sep 5, 2021, 01:25 AM

110. I remember that

It was appalling to see something like that here. How is the grandbaby doing now?

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 12:27 PM

23. Congrats to the proud dads!

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 12:32 PM

24. AWESOME!!!!

I'm so happy for the Buttigieg famil- A boy and a girl.

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 12:36 PM

26. Matching salt and pepper shakers. How adorable!

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Response to Mosby (Original post)


Response to Name removed (Reply #27)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 12:45 PM

30. If they had a surrogate then they are biological parents

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 12:43 PM

28. Some happy news..pretty scarce these days

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 12:44 PM

29. A woman had twins.

The Buttigiegs adopted them.

Texas is trying to wipe women off the earth.

DU can do better.

Meanwhile congrats to my hometown boys. Cheers!

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Response to cbabe (Reply #29)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 12:47 PM

32. You can do better

Nothing wrong with the OP

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Response to kcr (Reply #32)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 12:49 PM

35. Agree!

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Response to kcr (Reply #32)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 12:52 PM

36. There is "nothing wrong" with the OP? How about the fact it misspelled Buttigieg?

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Response to SunSeeker (Reply #36)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 01:00 PM

38. Right. Because people who struggle with grammar and spelling

are the problem in this world.

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Response to kcr (Reply #38)


Response to kcr (Reply #38)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 01:18 PM

43. Pete Buttigieg and his family deserve to have their name spelled correctly.

How much of a "struggle" is it to spell the man's name correctly in the OP title?

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Response to SunSeeker (Reply #43)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 01:23 PM

47. They deserve to have their status as a family respected even more n/t

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Response to kcr (Reply #47)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 01:29 PM

50. Who is disrespecting their status as a family?

(Other than the OP who misspelled their family name)

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Response to SunSeeker (Reply #50)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 01:35 PM

54. Why the need to "correct" their announcement?

This doesn't tend to happen nearly as often with other adoptive parents who aren't gay couples, which is why I find the concern over the birth mother a little too convenient.

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Response to kcr (Reply #54)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 01:39 PM

56. It was the OP who "corrected" the announcement.

When I had my son, my husband never said he had the baby. And neither did Pete here. Pete said he and his husband "became parents." The OP should have used Pete's wording.

The wonderful, brave and self-sacrificing women who agree to artificial insemination for gay men to have their own biological children, or the women who give their babies up for adoption to gay couples, should be respected and acknowledged. And Pete did that with the way he worded his announcement. The OP, not so much.

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Response to SunSeeker (Reply #56)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 01:45 PM

58. Well, now, I don't know

People might now be confused and all, with the picture in the hospital bed

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Response to kcr (Reply #58)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 01:49 PM

59. The OP should have used the wording Pete used.

And spelled his name correctly.

Words matter.

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Response to SunSeeker (Reply #59)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 01:52 PM

63. I edited. Sorry about the spelling.

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Response to SunSeeker (Reply #56)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 02:07 PM

67. You are making a mountain out of an anthill

The OP accidentally switched two letters in Buttigieg and didn't correct it right away - that's all it is. People unintentionally mispronounce and misspell my first name - all four letters and one syllable of it - all of the time, and if I considered this the height of disrespect I'd be a miserable person indeed. It'd be a different matter if this were about a transwoman or man and the OP knowingly and deliberately used the wrong name and pronouns.

And one more thing - have you ever considered the possibility that the woman who made this sacrifice might not have wanted to be publicly acknowledged?

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Response to Moebym (Reply #67)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 02:22 PM

69. Nobody is saying name the woman.

All anyone is saying is use wording that does not erase the woman.

Pete did that with his wording. The OP should have used the wording in Pete's announcement.




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Response to SunSeeker (Reply #69)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 02:25 PM

72. I'm guessing it was a play on the picture they used

Which you seem to be ignoring.

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Response to kcr (Reply #72)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 05:02 PM

78. No. It's expecting people to use Pete's own words.

Which you seem to be ignoring.

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Response to SunSeeker (Reply #43)


Response to pinkstarburst (Reply #70)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 05:05 PM

79. His name is right in the tweet. Not that tricky.

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Response to SunSeeker (Reply #36)

Sun Sep 5, 2021, 12:53 AM

106. As a retired teacher of the dyslexic, I don't ever judge someone else's spelling.

Unless it is to wonder if they too are dyslexic.

My students were often brilliant, but thought they were stupid because it was so hard to do what came easily for most students. The brightest were often the most frustrated, even angry. Everyone of them had been shamed for their spelling, often by teachers.

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Response to summer_in_TX (Reply #106)

Sun Sep 5, 2021, 12:58 AM

108. I don't see any evidence the OP is dyslexic. They have corrected the misspelling. nt

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Response to SunSeeker (Reply #108)

Mon Sep 6, 2021, 12:43 AM

123. I have a feeling many Americans look down on people who make spelling mistakes.

Certainly there's a lot of pointing it out, often publicly and managing to convey disapproval.

As a good speller (but not a perfect one) I probably did at one time myself. Poor spelling is not a sign of inferior intellect. Quite often they're brilliant. Dyslexics just have a weak visual memory for print and difficulty sequencing speech sounds. Weak in 2-dimensional processing, much stronger in 3-D thinking (right side of the brain). So many of them have other gifts.

I never know if a misspelling is a transposition from writing in a hurry, a "smart" phone changing the spelling after the writer has checked it and pressed Send, a homophone mistake (my personal bane), or a spelling mistake because of dyslexia. But any which way it happens, if I have a chance to help in private I will. Otherwise I overlook spelling. I'm always grateful when folks overlook my errors when I've posted something I've dictated to Siri and thought I've checked, only to press Send and then catch a mistake.

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Response to summer_in_TX (Reply #106)


Response to kcr (Reply #32)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 01:19 PM

44. Birth mothers are not breeding mules.

The woman had twins. The Buttigieg family adopted them.

It seems extremely likely that the mother loves her children very much, but was unable to parent at this time. I hope Pete and Chasten do the right thing and have an open adoption.

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Response to StevieM (Reply #44)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 01:22 PM

46. And straw men aren't actually made of straw

Those of you who feel the desperate need to fly into this thread and point out that the happy couple adopted aren't being as subtle as you think you are. Not even a little bit. And you aren't going to put a damper on anyone's happiness no matter how hard you try. Go cry.

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Response to kcr (Reply #46)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 01:30 PM

51. My tears are reserved for birth mothers who are in pain.

Many of them were in dire circumstances and forced to accept a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

And I can promise you that I would be saying the exact same thing if Pete Buttigieg was a straight man with a wife. If you are implying that I have a problem with gay marriage then you are completely mistaken. I have a problem with the entire system of adoption as it currently exists in the country.

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Response to StevieM (Reply #51)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 01:39 PM

57. Nope. I'm sorry.

I don't think I'm mistaken, because I'm fully aware of the systemic issues regarding adoption and their relation to poverty, and the pressures on birth mothers. None of that excuses the behavior occurring in this thread.

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Response to kcr (Reply #57)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 01:51 PM

62. I can't speak for every single poster on this thread. But I can speak for myself.

You most definitely are mistaken if you think that the sexual orientation of the child's adoptive parents has anything to do with my viewpoint. I have posted on the issue of adoption many times over the years, and I have said similar things on many occasions.



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Response to StevieM (Reply #62)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 01:59 PM

65. Then with all due respect

Maybe consider targeting your activism in a broader scope, if you don't want anyone ascribing an agenda you don't actually have. Learn to read a room. Why should I believe you, but not the other DUers attacking this thread?

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Response to kcr (Reply #46)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 06:11 PM

87. This is ridiculous, isn't it?

 

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Response to StevieM (Reply #44)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 06:10 PM

86. An open adoption is not "the right thing" for everyone

 

I assume that the Buttigieg's know full well - better than anyone here - the right thing to do by their child and will do it.

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Response to cbabe (Reply #29)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 12:56 PM

37. I was thinking the same thing. nt

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Response to cbabe (Reply #29)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 01:17 PM

41. Thank you for pointing this out.

Last edited Sat Sep 4, 2021, 08:49 PM - Edit history (1)

The woman is almost certainly a loving mother who was unable to parent at this time.

I hope it is an open adoption.

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Response to StevieM (Reply #41)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 07:27 PM

89. Oh, please.

Unless you know that woman personally (and very, very well, I might add), there is no way you can possibly know what kind of mother she MIGHT have been if she had made a different choice, or how she feels about the adoption. You (like everyone else here) know absolutely nothing about her, other than that she has a (presumably still) working uterus.

I'm not sloppy sentimental about adoption (or much of anything else, lol), but I know there are many adoptions that work out well for everyone concerned, and that it can be a great choice for some people. It's true that the adoption system in this country is not perfect, but I know too many people it's worked well for to immediately jump to possibly wildly inaccurate conclusions about the birth mother's motivations or how she feels about her choice.

Please go find another parade to rain on and let the rest of us celebrate Pete's and Chasten's happiness in peace.

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Response to ShazzieB (Reply #89)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 08:54 PM

98. Many women who sign the papers are in dire circumstances and don't have much of a choice.

I don't believe adoption works out great for too many birth mothers.

The adoption system in this country isn't just imperfect, it is downright disastrous.

You talk about the people you know who it has worked well for, but I actually know birth mothers who had to live with the pain of losing their child.

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Response to ShazzieB (Reply #89)

Sun Sep 5, 2021, 07:26 AM

114. Right? Some comments here are ridiculous

A surrogacy isn’t the same as adoption. We have two kids from surrogacy. Both times our surrogate chose us, for being a surrogate- something she loved doing. And she became a friend and partner. There is a whole subculture of US surrogates who love doing this. Rules of the arrangement usually stipulate that they are a) financially secure to begin with, and b) already have their own kids. Some women love the experience in its many, complex dimensions.

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Response to cbabe (Reply #29)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 01:18 PM

42. I have not seen details -

Did they adopt them, or are they (or one of them) biological parents?

It is pretty much universally assumed that when a lesbian bears a child it is her biological child (usually, but not always, true), and nearly as universally assumed that when a gay man has a child he bears no biological relationship to it (also usually, but not always true).

FWIW - I'm a lesbian mom, whose daughter knows her (formerly anonymous) biological father. I would also have beeen thrilled to be a surrogate (and would not have expected to be expressly acknowledged in the announcement of the person/people for whom I was a surrogate becoming parents. I'm pretty sure I would have felt the same way had I given a child up for adoption.

Families come in all sizes and shapes - it is fantastic when all of the parties involved in bearing and raising a child can be acknowledged and play whatever role the child/ren want in their lives. My daughter knows her biological father, his wife, her three half-siblings, and a bunch of extended famlly - after making the connection through 23 & me. I'm grateful the technology exists so that she can know them in the present. But we didn't, at the time of her birth, expresssly call out her biological father.

And gay male coples choosing to bring children into their families is still relativley uncommon - and something to be celebrated - probably about the same prevalence as when my wife and I had our daughter 31 years ago (we were on the earlier end of the lesbian baby boom). This event does not necessariy require media giving media attention to the woman who helped them accomplish that goal.

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Response to Ms. Toad (Reply #42)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 01:27 PM

49. Regardless of who the biological father was, the woman still had the babies.

When I had my son, my husband never said he had the baby. And neither did Pete here. Pete said he and his husband "became parents." The OP should have used Pete's wording.

The wonderful, brave and self-sacrificing women who agree to artificial insemination for gay men to have their own biological children should be respected and acknowledged.

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Response to SunSeeker (Reply #49)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 01:33 PM

52. I wasn't that picky when I was the pregnant one

and people used the same phrase (she had a baby) referring to my wife.

(I don't know if there was surrogacy involved - or whether it was an adopton. I have not seen any announcement either way. People seemed to be assuming it was adoption.)

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Response to SunSeeker (Reply #49)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 10:47 PM

102. Sorry, that's ridiculous.

A woman gave birth. Fathers "have children" every day of the week. My brother "has" two daughters. Am I supposed to say "My sister-in-law had two daughters and my brother is parenting them because of his biological link to them"?

There's nothing disrespectful about saying that men have children even if they didn't physically go into labor. Couples say "we're pregnant" or "we're trying to get pregnant" all the time, where it's even more obvious that it's the woman who is technically pregnant.

Pete and Chasten are pledging the entire rest of their lives to raise and care for these kids. They had twins.

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Response to meadowlander (Reply #102)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 10:53 PM

103. Respecting women is not ridiculous. As Pete said, they're "becoming parents."

Pete did not say they "had twins." Pete chooses his words wisely, for a reason.

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Response to SunSeeker (Reply #103)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 11:02 PM

104. The magic of the English language is that there is more than one way to say something.

Or are you seriously arguing that I can't say my brother has two daughters because that's disrespectful to his wife who gave birth to them?

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Response to meadowlander (Reply #104)

Sun Sep 5, 2021, 12:52 AM

105. Of course it is not disrespectful to say your brother has kids.

You're not announcing your brother "had" (i.e. gave birth to) a baby.

Just like it would not have been disrespectful for the OP to say "the Buttigiegs have twins!" But instead, the OP said the Buttigiegs "had twins!" , rather than how Pete described the birth of the twins, and thus erased the involvement of a woman from the process of the birth of a baby.

With what is going on in Texas, we should be a little more thoughtful about how we use our language with regard to reproduction. Pete certainly is.




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Response to Ms. Toad (Reply #42)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 03:51 PM

76. It was adoption

They’ve been on a waiting list, they almost had a baby in July but birth mother changed her mind during labor. They’ve spoken of being on the waiting list and disappointed at the last minute.

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Response to riverwalker (Reply #76)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 05:14 PM

80. The woman who changed her mind was never a birth mother.

A pregnant woman is not a birth mother, even if an adoption plan is in the works. She is an expectant mother, and then she is the new mom. She does not become the birth mother until the child is born and the papers are signed.

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Response to cbabe (Reply #29)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 01:51 PM

61. Dafuq is this response?

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Response to cbabe (Reply #29)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 01:58 PM

64. Nothing like shitting on a celebration n/t

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Response to FreeState (Reply #64)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 02:18 PM

68. Yes. I have used the ignore button on 2 people in this thread.

Unbelievable the "sensitivity " of some folks. Time for a break.

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Response to Boomerproud (Reply #68)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 02:43 PM

73. Yep it's an

Issue that’s been brought up many many times and there is no desire to fix unfortunately by those that could. Bias is harmful always - even if it passes community standards.

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Response to cbabe (Reply #29)

Sun Sep 5, 2021, 11:11 AM

119. Cbabe...

I was wondering myself if they had a surrogate or if the children were adopted. Can you post where you read the kids were adopted (as opposed to having a surrogate)?

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Response to Upthevibe (Reply #119)

Sun Sep 5, 2021, 01:19 PM

122. Easy search Buttigieg adoption.

My earlier point seems to be misconstrued.

Adoption, surrogate, sex or sexuality of parents, etc. all not my point.

The point is women give birth. And should be acknowledged, not ignored, grammatically or in actuality. Seems to be a hard concept for some reason.

Secondly, I, too, celebrated the adoptions in my previous post. Pete has always been my best hometown guy.

Done for now.


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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 12:46 PM

31. FABULOUS!

Born and living in DC? I wonder.

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 12:49 PM

33. That's so adorbs!

Happy smiley

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Response to Mosby (Original post)


Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 01:03 PM

39. Lovely!

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 01:20 PM

45. How delightful!

Happy for them. They will have their hands full, certainly, but it's a double joy. And the little ones will grow up loved and protected and happy, I'm sure.

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 01:35 PM

55. Hubby just came back from walking the dog, & said Awwwww, when I showed him this picture...

Heartfelt congratulations from this old couple.


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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 01:50 PM

60. What a pleasant surprise!

Congratulations to them both!

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 02:05 PM

66. That should read,

"Truman and Buddy got a sister and a brother!!!" But seriously, congratulations to the entire family!

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 02:24 PM

71. Thank you for the editing, finally.

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 03:15 PM

75. Excellent news!

 

Wow, just the look on their faces, I can tell they're going to be great fathers.

Thanks for posting!!

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 04:33 PM

77. Lucky kids, they will have a wonderful life with these parents!

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 05:18 PM

81. Cute couple.

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 05:23 PM

82. wonderful!!!

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 07:38 PM

91. Ode to Joy!

Those twins will be bathed in love, snuggles, and
learning. Look for Papa Joe and Mama Jill to make those kids part of their family too.

America despite the rights efforts is becoming a better
place.

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 07:40 PM

92. That pic is too adorbs for words! 🥰

I love these guys, and I know they have what it takes to be great fathers. That little boy and girl will have the kind of life all kids deserve: surrounded by love!

Congratulations, Pete and Chasten! God bless these 2 little angels, and thank you, birth mom, for making this possible!

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 08:45 PM

95. Congratulations

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 10:27 PM

100. I'd like to know how they came up with the names for their babies.

Is Joseph a family name or named after Joseph Biden?
Love the name Penelope.
For some reason, I don't pronounce August like Aw-gust but Ow-goost´. Just seems to fit a Maltese surname.

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Response to RicROC (Reply #100)

Sun Sep 5, 2021, 01:49 AM

112. I wondered about Joseph's name, too. 😊

I also noticed that his initials spell a word:

J oseph
A ugust
B uttigieg

JAB!

I'm absolutely sure it's a coincidence, but I love that the little guy's initials sound like a reminder to get vaxxed!

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Response to RicROC (Reply #100)

Sun Sep 5, 2021, 09:03 AM

118. Family name

Both Pete's Dad and his Grandfather were named Joseph.

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Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sat Sep 4, 2021, 10:43 PM

101. Awww! What a lovely photo of the new family!

 

So happy for them, but they are going to have their hands full! How sweet!

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Response to Mosby (Original post)


Response to Mosby (Original post)

Sun Sep 5, 2021, 06:46 AM

113. Awwww!

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