HomeLatest ThreadsGreatest ThreadsForums & GroupsMy SubscriptionsMy Posts
DU Home » Latest Threads » Forums & Groups » Main » General Discussion (Forum) » Top 10 Conservative Idiot...

Thu Jun 17, 2021, 04:03 PM

Top 10 Conservative Idiots Best Of #17: Viewer Mailbag #3 Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots Best Of #17: Viewer Mailbag #3 Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Oh hello! I didn’t see you come in. But as we tidy up the set here and get ready to head back on the road, we have some announcements. As we said on Twitter, this December marks the 5th anniversary of the start of our little program. So we have something cool planned for that, and details will be announced shortly. What? Can’t we keep at least something secret for a while? And our recurring segment for the upcoming 11th season of the Top 10 will be: Red State Diaries! That’s right. We’ve toured the world. We’ve toured the United States Government, now we will tour the red states of America and find out what makes them so red. But that said we’re off again this week but we figured with 220 editions and over 2,200 entries we figured we’d once again pull from the viewer mailbag and answer your burning questions! But since we do like to bring you fresh content, we have two fresh entries this week, which will be noted below. But one thing I can officially announce: Can we get a drum roll? Live idiots are coming back!!! Yay!!! 18 long months we’ve been shuttered because of COVID and now we’re back baby! Plus the Constellation Room at the Observatory OC in Santa Ana, where we’ve been the last couple of months, is going to be the new permanent home for the Idiots! First round of tour dates below:

7/15/21 – Constellation Room at Observatory OC, Santa Ana, CA
7/22/21 – San Jose Improv, San Jose, CA
7/29/21 – Soma Theater, San Diego, CA
8/5/21 – McMenamins Bagdad Theater, Portland, OR
8/12/21 – Dragon Room, Las Vegas, NV
8/19/21 – Stand Up Live, Phoenix, AZ
8/26/21 – Laugh Factory, Long Beach, CA
9/2/21 – Dark (Labor Day)
9/9/21 – Constellation Room at Observatory OC, Santa Ana, CA
9/16/21 – Flappers Comedy Club, Burbank, CA
9/24/21 – Houston Improv, Houston, TX
9/30/21 – Comedy Works, Denver, CO

There you go! Unfortunately we don’t know live music plans yet but we expect to know by the middle fo September. We’ll be announcing dates for October, November, and December shortly! Oh and if you want to be featured in the Viewer Mailbag, just e-mail us at [email protected]! Who knows, you might be featured in the next one! Enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first John Oliver delves into the hate surrounding Asian Americans and what can be done about it:

OK so this is a viewer mailbag Best Of where we answer your burning questions and dip into the Top 10 archive to pull from all editions! In the number one slot, from Idiots #6-2, remember when Trump served a championship football team a fast food buffet of Big Macs and Domino’s Pizza because the government was shut down due to his incompetence? Yeah that happened! In the number two slot, from Idiots #4-4, remember when the surveillance industry’s favorite Congressman Devin Nunes (2) formed a secret society called “secret society”? Yeah that happened! Taking the number three slot this week, from Idiots #3-14, is Alex Jones (3). Did you know that someone has been drugging Trump’s drinks? No? Well he just naturally sounds that way! Taking the fourth slot this week, from Idiots #6-7, our segment on natural disasters, “We’re All Gonna Die” (4) takes a look at some potentially devastating storms in California, but not before earthquakes get here first! In the fifth slot this week, our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5), from Idiots #5-19, takes a look at the botched deal that would have brought controversial Chinese conglomerate Foxconn to Wisconsin. In the number 6 slot this week, we promised you we’d bring you some new material, and that comes in a new visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in Holy Shit (6)! And this week, we take a look at a literal gun cult that just purchased a massive property not far from Waco, Texas! It looks like history will repeat itself again. In the number 7 slot this week is another new segment – we profile self-proclaimed Hindu “godman” and future James Bond villain Nithyananda (7) in a new edition of “This Fucking Guy”! Taking the number 8 slot, from Idiots #8-18, our segment Conspiracy Corner, takes a look at the conservative effort to ramp up vaccine disinformation, and it’s quite the stuff of insanity! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week, from Idiots #7-22, our segment “I Need A Drink” takes a look at the German combination of Christmas and Halloween, Krampus, and it’s gaining in international popularity! Finally this week, from Idiots #6-7, our segment that explores the inner workings of the government, Deep State Diaries, takes a look at the governing body of disasters, the Federal Emergency Management System! Plus from when we could have live performances, a visit from the great Ice Cube! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key! v

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Donald J. Trump & The Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Week
[br] [/font]

From: Idiots #6-2

Brad F. from Springfield, Massachusetts writes:

“Hey Top 10, you know it will be nice to have championship teams visit the White House again, and not be greeted with greasy fast food!”

You’re right, Brad! And yeah remember when that was a thing that happened?

Congratulations to the Clemson Tigers for winning this year’s College National Championship. What a game that was! I mean Alabama got their asses handed to them didn’t they? Well the Tigers will get to visit the White House. And remember what an honor that used to be? Well thanks to a certain guy who is currently called president, they might want to reconsider. Especially considering that he’s channeling his inner Richmond Valentine from the movie “Kingsman: The Secret Service”. Or maybe Kevin Spacey from House Of Cards. OK, bad example. Well, Clemson, here’s what you got waiting for you!

The Clemson football team’s visit to the White House on Monday night is going to be a greasy one.

The Tigers were invited by President Donald Trump to celebrate their national championship victory over Alabama and, according to Trump, the menu is going to be all fast food.

“I think we’re going to serve McDonald’s, Wendy’s and Burger King’s [sic], with some pizza,” Trump said. “I really mean it. It’ll be interesting. I think that would be their favorite food, so we’ll see what happens.”

It sounds like Clemson will be getting the authentic White House experience, enjoying some of the president’s favorite foods. In a book about the 2016 campaign, two top Trump aides wrote that the “four major food groups” on Trump’s plane were “McDonald’s, Kentucky Fried Chicken, pizza and Diet Coke.”

The menu probably isn’t a hit with Clemson Director of Football Nutrition Paul Harrington, though. We’ve emailed Harrington for his thoughts and will update this post if he gets back to us.

That’s right! No shut down means no White House staff which means no White House kitchen staff to cook for the Clemson team! So you could say that this is a House Of Carbs! And by the way this is what happens when the country is run by the less sophisticated – they actually enjoyed it! Either their standards are incredibly low or they haven’t had a decent meal in months! What is Clemson feeding them?

President Donald Trump paid tribute to college football champion Clemson for winning the College Football Playoff National Championship at a White House ceremony Monday evening.

Trump said he paid for their meal of "American fast food'' because of the partial government shutdown. He did not disclose the tab.

"We went off and we ordered American fast food, paid for by me. Lots of hamburgers, lots of pizza,'' Trump said after returning to the White House from a trip to New Orleans. "I think they'd like it better than anything we could give."

Some players "whooped" when they saw the spread, according a pool report.

"We have some very large people that like eating, so I think we're going to have a little fun," said the president, a fast-food lover himself.

Spokeswoman Sarah Huckabee Sanders said much of the staff that works in the White House residence has been furloughed due to the shutdown, "so the president is personally paying for the event to be catered with some of everyone's favorite fast foods."

Wow, how our standards have fallen as a society. Really he’s the kind of guy who would replace the White House kitchen with a McDonalds and Burger King just because he could. And he’s also fat and has no taste. And by the way let’s show that picture of Trump with the spread.

First off why is Trump like so proud of this? He’s feeding a championship football team garbage fast food that you can buy at the Flying J off the interstate. And second, why is he doing jazz hands? Ah, never mind, I have the answer! Just look at what Abe Lincoln is doing in the background!

By the way you’re wondering how much this spread costs, well…

Trump said, “So I had a choice. Do we have no food for you? Because we have a shutdown,” Business Insider reported. “Or do we give you some little, quick salads that the First Lady will make?”

White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders in a statement blamed Democrats for the shutdown and said that Trump was personally paying for the food.

The White House didn’t release the cost of the meal, but some news outlets tried to estimate the expense. The Post worked it out to be $2,911.44—or maybe $2,437.11, depending on whether the food came from the 2-for-$5 menu.

USA Today estimated the expense to be $861.72. Maybe the difference came down to what was included. USA Today didn’t include french fries or pizza, which Trump said would be part of the order, because none appeared in the pictures they used for their estimate.

Yeah so he spent $860 on fucking fast food. Really there were no other restaurants around? I mean you don’t own one that’s literally 5 miles from where you live? That wouldn’t work? Oh fuck it. I give up sometimes. And by the way here’s how much of a flaming narcissist Trump is. Not only did he pay for the food, he also said it was all food he likes, and he didn’t even get the quantities right!

Imagine being invited to the White House for dinner. You pack your best suit or dress and fly up to Washington, D.C. The day of the dinner, the president announces to reporters that he will be serving you fast food. He seems really excited about it. “I think we’re going to serve McDonald’s, Wendy’s and Burger King with some pizza,” he says. “I really meant it. It’ll be interesting. I would think that’s their favorite food. So we’ll see what happens.”

He has to be kidding, right? He really means it? It’ll be interesting? We’ll see what happens? A few hours later you head to the White House, go through security and enter the State Dining Room. This is what you see:

Yes, President Trump served selections from McDonald’s, Wendy’s and Burger King to the Clemson Tigers football team, who were in Washington on Monday to celebrate their national championship. The scene was surreal, with boxes of Quarter Pounders piled high on the White House’s silver serving ware. Sterling gravy boats were stuffed with dipping sauce containers. Fries had been removed from their original packaging and put into paper cups emblazoned with the presidential seal.

Trump was beaming. “I like it all,” the president said as aides lit an ornate candelabra. “It’s all good stuff. Great American food. It will be very interesting to see at the end of this evening how many are left.” He added that “the Republicans are really, really sticking together” and that “we need border security.”

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Devin Nunes
[br] [/font]

From: Idiots #4-4

Melissa J. from Grand Junction, Colorado, writes:

“I love the Idiots! I can’t wait until you come back to Denver. But my question is why are conservatives so bad with coming up with names for things?”

Well that is a great question, and we don’t have an answer for that. But we can recall that time when Devin Nunes had a secret society that was literally called “Secret Society”.

So the chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, and guy whose Windows logon password is most likely “password”, Devin Nunes (R-Nutjob) has also been extremely prolific this week. The story goes that he authored a memo. Yes, a memo that he and Russian bots everywhere claim could bring down the entire democratic party. These people are fucking nuts if they think they can get away with this and not have it be considered an act of war. Because it very well could be an act of war!

Republican lawmakers have said texts that the Justice Department gave to Congress last week, supplementing another set that lawmakers received last year, show pervasive political bias against Mr. Trump. Republicans also portrayed phrases in the texts, including a reference to a “secret society” in the F.B.I., as hints of a conspiracy to sabotage him.

“The texts between Strzok and Page referenced a ‘secret society,’” Representative John Ratcliffe, Republican of Texas, wrote on Twitter, adding: “It’s clear from the thousands of texts we reviewed that Strzok and Page held a manifest bias against @realDonaldTrump in favor of Hillary Clinton and showed an intent to act upon that bias.”

Other people familiar with the texts agreed that they showed the two officials expressing many negative opinions about Mr. Trump and his team — like declaring “what a disaster” after learning that Jeff Sessions would be the attorney general.

Yes… WTF lol. You claim to have evidence to a “secret society” that calls itself a “secret society”? Really, Devin? You don’t make your internet password as “password”, do you? We should just call this Memogate. Or how I learned to stop worrying and love Russia. Even Fox News is pissed off at this, and you don’t want to piss them off!

Fox News host Shepard Smith slammed Republican Rep. Devin Nunes on Thursday for pushing the narrative that the FBI and the Department of Justice are biased against President Donald Trump.

Nunes, the chair of the House Intelligence Committee, helped write a controversial memo that purports to detail illegal surveillance by the Obama administration during the transition period after Trump's 2016 election. Some Republicans are pushing the Trump administration to allow Nunes' committee to publicly release the document.

"A memo can be a weapon of partisan mass distraction," Smith said on his daytime news program, 'Shepard Smith Reporting.' "Especially at a pivotal moment in American history when it behooves the man in charge for supporters to believe the institutions can’t be trusted, investigators are corrupt, and the news media are liars. Context matters."

Yeah when Fox News and republicans fight, you can watch on the sidelines but don’t get too comfortable! And I love how they’re just being out in the open about this. Yeah we’re going after a Secret Society that calls itself Secret Society. Hey guys, you ever get the impression that the phrase “secret society” implies that they might, I don’t know, work in secret? I’m just guessing!

Attacks by Donald Trump on US intelligence agencies were taken up and amplified by the US right at full volume this week, as special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation moves closer to the president.

The targets of the rightwing ruckus were the Federal Bureau of Investigation, Mueller, and anyone else involved in assessing Russia’s assault on US election systems, which intelligence agencies say constitute an ongoing emergency but which Trump has dismissed as exaggerated.

Trump said on Thursday that he was “looking forward” to being interviewed by Mueller about Russia and that the interview could take place within the next “two or three weeks”.

Yeah wait a minute, don’t think we’re letting you get away with this one, smart guy! You know Trump interviewing Mueller is going to be the Tom Brady’s hand of political psych-out moves. I mean come on there’s no way he could have won that game if his hand was injured! But you know the underlying irony in all of this? The party that’s calling the left “anti-police” is doing everything it can to discredit the actual police!

Republicans on the House Intelligence Committee are on the verge of defying the Department of Justice and voting to release a classified memo they say will reveal misconduct by senior FBI officials involved in investigating President Donald Trump's campaign.

POLITICO contacted or reviewed statements by the committee’s 13 Republicans, and found near-unanimous support for making public the memo, which Democrats call a misleading effort to discredit special counsel Robert Mueller’s probe into Trump’s ties to Russia.

A vote by the committee — expected as soon as Wednesday — to release the controversial document would put its fate into the hands of President Donald Trump, who has not taken a clear position on its public disclosure.

The committee sentiment suggests that House Republicans are unfazed by a top Justice Department official’s warning that doing so without first consulting the department would be “extraordinarily reckless,” and underscores the GOP’s determination to shift attention from Russian election influence onto alleged anti-Trump bias among federal Russia investigators.

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Alex Jones
[br] [/font]

From: Idiots #3-14

Jacob C. from Spokane, Washington writes:

“I think Donald Trump gets stupider every year.”

That’s not a question, Jacob! But we do remember that we might have an explanation for that. Or not.

Man, do I really have to talk about Infowars this week? Ah…. I don’t want to. Make me. Fine. It takes one to know one! But mom! OK fine. We have to talk about Infowars this week because if you thought his theories about NASA holding child slave colonies on Mars, or that the “deep state” (whatever that is) is creating AI bots that will eat your soul are crazy, wait until you see what this guy has cooked up for this week!

It's a big day for InfoWars conspiracy chief and definitely-not-Bill-Hicks-after-faking-his-own-death Alex Jones. It is, first and foremost, the anniversary of the September 11 terrorist attacks, which Jones has long contended was a false flag operation in which the Bush administration played a role. It's also the anniversary of Hillary Clinton's fainting incident at the 9/11 Memorial, which Jones' website is celebrating with unmitigated glee. But it's also time for a fresh tale out of the seemingly endless Jonesian conspiracy archive, and this one concerns the man who defeated Clinton with Jones' full-throated support: President Donald J. Trump.

It can't be an easy task for Jones to shoehorn Trump's presidency into his worldview. After all, his narrative during the election was that a vast conspiracy of globalist elites was working to stop Trump, the rightful representative of The People. These dark forces, which control all the levers of financial and political power, promptly failed to stop Trump becoming president. Since, Trump has adopted an orthodox conservative approach to many issues while simultaneously engaging in impressive feats of self-sabotage. It puts his anti-establishment right-wing defenders in a bit of a pickle.

Let none of that detract from this legendary tirade, however. Because no one can force world events into the tiny box of his worldview like Alex Jones. Bare witness as the InfoWars host—whose website plays host to 4.78 million unique viewers a month—explains how The Globalists are drugging the president's Diet Coke, which Trump orders with the push of a Big Red Button on the Resolute Desk. Watch as Jones explains they're doing this so they can slowly damage Trump's brain and then claim he has Alzheimer's. Notice the casual reference to the theory that Ronald Reagan was given "cold blood," a "transfusion that causes brain damage." Jones has "talked to people, multiple ones" about all this, who shared that the president is "slurring his words" each evening because of a drug that is simultaneously brain-destroying and highly addictive—and not just because they're serving it to him in a delicious Diet Coke!

That’s right! Donald Trump isn’t stupid! The Deep State is putting drugs in his Diet Cokes! Really, you can’t make this shit up. I love how he’s like “Oh and this is information that could kill you”. Oh and by the way Alex, talking to “people, even multiple ones” does not include the voices in your head, you got that? Oh and it gets weirder:

Two of President Trump’s most loyal allies have expressed concern that he is being drugged. On “The Alex Jones Show” Monday, political attack dog Roger Stone revealed bombshell information about the president’s speech.

“He is slurring his words on various times, and that’s what’s concerning,” Stone told host Alex Jones.

“Let’s be very clear: I have a source at The New York Times, a reporter who expressed to me a concern that in a conversation they had on the phone with the president that he was slurring his words,” he added.

Because Trump does not drink, and “certainly does not do drugs,” the only plausible explanation for the president’s slurred speech is that he is being involuntarily medicated, according to Stone. That, or the president is just exhausted.

Of course he had to get Roger Stone involved in this. Because, why not? Oh and then his own theory is debunked by Trump’s actions – his lack of energy is due to his extremely poor diet:

Let’s start with the Diet Cokes: The president likes to slurp them down, sometimes through a straw, and he can press a red button on the Resolute Desk to have them delivered to him. They are, demonstrably, health bummers. Filled with artificial sugars known to contribute to weight gain, regular consumption has been shown to increase a person’s risk of developing cardiovascular disease.

A small, controversial study published in the journal Stroke in April reported a correlation between diet soda consumption and a higher risk of developing dementia or experiencing a stroke. While the study’s authors could not definitely prove a cause-effect relationship, numerous studies have confirmed that habitual diet soda drinking is linked to obesity.

Even Trump, who grappled with his own passion for Diet Coke in 2012, seems to be aware of this correlation.

What makes up the rest of Trump’s diet is less than ideal for someone tasked with leading the United States of America. He loves to get down with Doritos and Lays potato chips, overcooked steaks, and McDonald’s burgers. That’s a far cry from Obama’s seven almonds.

Trump’s diet is high in salt and in fat, which can lead to the development of cardiovascular disease, especially for people over the age of 50. Studies also demonstrate that fast food consumption has a strong positive association with weight gain, and increases the risk of obesity and type 2 diabetes. And being overweight, scientists have found, makes people to become sedentary and tired.

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]We’re All Gonna Die
[br] [/font]

From: Idiots #6-7

Wes A. from Fallbrook, California writes:

“Hey Top 10, help me settle a bet with a friend. Living on one of the biggest fault lines in the world, which is more likely to kill us all – a tropical storm or a giant earthquake?”

Well, Wes, we don’t really have a definitive answer, but let’s just say that a little from column A, a little from column B.

Hey everyone guess what? We’re all gonna die! Yeah the sooner we accept that, the better. If you’re not from California, allow me to school you in on a little state secret – we’re all gonna die. Yes, I know that I already said that! Thank you sir! And the way that everybody is going to die, at least what we were all told when we were kids - the worst thing we had to worry about showing up in our schools wasn’t a nutcase with a semi automatic rifle. No sir. It was supposed to be an earthquake measuring 9.5 on the richter scale. The proverbial “big one” as its’ called. Hey kids, I really hope everyone is having a great day today! Now we all have to hide under our desks in case a giant earthquake that could kill us all comes along! Ah, those were the days! And I mean come on have you not seen Spiderman: Homecoming? If a building falls on you, hiding under a desk isn't going to do shit! Well now there’s another big one that is headed its’ way. Yeah that’s what she said.

One of the most potent storms of the winter will continue to trigger flooding rain, mudslides, heavy mountain snow, strong winds and difficult to dangerous travel in California and much of the West this weekend.

Rain and mountain snow will spread inland through Saturday. Areas of rain and snow may persist not only on Sunday but into next week as well.

The amount of rain from the storm is more than enough to cause flash and urban flooding problems and trigger mudslides and rock slides. The mudslide risk will be greatest in, but not limited to, recent burn scar locations.

Evacuations in burn scar areas may be necessary. Several evacuation warnings have already been issued.

"Several inches of rain will fall on the west- and south-facing slopes of the coastal mountains and foothills and lower elevations of the Sierra Nevada this weekend," according to AccuWeather Senior Meteorologist Brett Anderson.

An AccuWeather Local StormMax™ of 8 inches of rain is forecast through Saturday night with some additional rain likely into early next week.

Oh calm down! We’re not gonna die just yet!!! So just how bad could this mega storm get? You know Houston has hurricanes, Kansas has tornadoes, California, we do storms and natural disasters way better! We’ve got torrential rains, mudslides, fires and possible earthquakes to worry about!

Scientists call it California’s “other big one,” and they say it could cause three times as much damage as a major earthquake ripping along the San Andreas Fault.

Although it might sound absurd to those who still recall five years of withering drought and mandatory water restrictions, researchers and engineers warn that California may be due for rain of biblical proportions — or what experts call an ARkStorm.

This rare mega-storm — which some say is rendered all the more inevitable due to climate change — would last for weeks and send more than 1.5 million people fleeing as floodwaters inundated cities and formed lakes in the Central Valley and Mojave Desert, according to the U.S. Geological Survey. Officials estimate the structural and economic damage from an ARkStorm (for Atmospheric River 1,000) would amount to more than $725 billion statewide.

In heavily populated areas of the Los Angeles Basin, epic runoff from the San Gabriel Mountains could rapidly overwhelm a flood control dam on the San Gabriel river and unleash floodwaters from Pico Rivera to Long Beach, says a recent analysis by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers.

Hey! Haven’t you kids ever seen a storm that could kill a whole lot of us? Yes I’m channeling my inner Stan Lee on this one. And you know what? While my state has been busy preparing for “The Big One” we’re certainly underprepared for what’s going to come when the great storm hits.

Scientists call it California’s “other big one,” and they say it could cause three times as much damage as a major earthquake ripping along the San Andreas Fault.

Although it might sound absurd to those who still recall five years of withering drought and mandatory water restrictions, researchers and engineers warn that California may be due for rain of biblical proportions — or what experts call an ARkStorm.

This rare mega-storm — which some say is rendered all the more inevitable due to climate change — would last for weeks and send more than 1.5 million people fleeing as floodwaters inundated cities and formed lakes in the Central Valley and Mojave Desert, according to the U.S. Geological Survey. Officials estimate the structural and economic damage from an ARkStorm (for Atmospheric River 1,000) would amount to more than $725 billion statewide.

In heavily populated areas of the Los Angeles Basin, epic runoff from the San Gabriel Mountains could rapidly overwhelm a flood control dam on the San Gabriel river and unleash floodwaters from Pico Rivera to Long Beach, says a recent analysis by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers.

No we’re still not gonna die! At least not yet. But this thing could have the potential to be a million times worse than a polar vortex and an even worse trail of devastation than the proverbial “big one”. Although at least on the flipside, California is finally getting some much needed water! Which will help with that “poor forest management” that President LardAss is accusing us of!

There’s still more than a week left in February, but already California has received about 18 trillion gallons of water thanks to a series of storms this month, according to the National Weather Service.

That’s enough water to fill 27 million Olympic-sized pools, forecasters said. The amount of water is also nearly half the total volume of Lake Tahoe.

Los Angeles has gotten its fair share of the rain as well, receiving more than 4 inches between Feb. 1 and this past Saturday, according to the weather service.

Those totals are likely to increase this week, too, with more showers forecast to drench Southern California from Wednesday night into Thursday.

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Foxconn WTF?
[br] [/font]


From: Idiots #5-19

Shelia F. from Madison, Wisconsin writes:

“Whatever happened to that deal that would have brought a Foxconn plant to rural Wisconsin?”

Well, like all things that Trump has had a deal in, they went up in smoke. And here’s how that happened!

Hey Orlando, it’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

Last year, speaker of the house Paul Ryan and president Donald Trump made a deal with the state of Wisconsin to bring the extremely controversial electronics conglomerate Foxconn to Ryan’s home state of Wisconsin. The deal that Trump was touting was not exactly met with a warm welcome, and now things seem to be getting much worse. Apparently the deal has also been about as shady as you can expect, with things like this happening .

Maybe you remember the big show at the White House after Foxconn agreed to build a new manufacturing plant in Mt. Pleasant, Wisconsin. Trump was there to tout the deal as a victory in his “America First” crusade. Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker was there trying to win back some of his state’s respect after his 2016 presidential bid took a nose-dive.

And Foxconn founder Terry Gou was there to play on these desires, hoping to get a new American factory on the cheap. The state of Wisconsin agreed to hand over a $4.1 billion subsidy to Foxconn, which will cost Wisconsinites more than a million dollars per job created. And a nonpartisan study shows the state won’t see a return on this investment until 2042.

Now two news stories are emerging that show how one of Trump’s biggest “America First” triumphs is mostly benefitting Foxconn. Just one day before the country votes in numerous Congressional elections, a New Yorker piece shed some light on the shady tactics used by the Mt. Pleasant’s Village Board of Trustees to get the needed land.

People generally associate Foxconn with Apple and all the horrors coming out of their Chinese factory in Shenzhen, and you rightfully should be horrified that they want to bring that here to the US. Especially when the deal made to bring Foxconn here was done with a dirty dealer.

It was a veritable lovefest in Milwaukee in July 2017 when Republican Gov. Scott Walker and Foxconn chairman Terry Gou announced their plan to create a heavily subsidized manufacturing plant in southeastern Wisconsin. Walker gushed that Gou, who founded his Taiwan-based company in 1974, was “one of the most remarkable business leaders in the world.” Gou returned the favor by saying, “I’ve never seen this type of governor or leader yet in this world.” Effusive, yet ambiguous.

The details of the deal were famously written on the back of a napkin when Gou and the Republican governor first met: a $3 billion state subsidy in return for Foxconn’s $10 billion investment in a Generation 10.5 LCD manufacturing plant that would create 13,000 jobs.

The size of the subsidy was stunning. It was far and away the largest in Wisconsin history and the largest government handout to a foreign company ever given in America. Like most states, Wisconsin had given subsidies to companies in the past, but never higher than $35,000 per job. Foxconn’s subsidy was $230,000 per job.

Don’t worry, we won’t. But if you work for Foxconn you should realize that if you do the math, those jobs really don’t pay that much and they won’t really make a dent in Foxconn’s profits. Really, that’s what happens when you deal with a dirty dealer. But here’s where it could quite possibly get ugly – not that it hasn’t happened already.

Foxconn Technology Group is considering bringing in personnel from China to help staff a large facility under construction in southern Wisconsin as it struggles to find engineers and other workers in one of the tightest labor markets in the U.S.

The company 2354, +0.15% , the Taiwanese supplier to Apple Inc. AAPL, +0.11% , has been trying to tap Chinese engineers through internal transfers to supplement staffing for the Wisconsin plant, according to people familiar with the matter.

The state pledged $3 billion in tax and other “performance-based” incentives to help lure Foxconn, and local authorities added $764 million. Foxconn must meet hiring, wage and investment targets by various dates to receive most of those benefits.

The company promised the state it would invest $10 billion and build a 22-million-square-foot liquid-crystal display panel plant, hiring 13,000 employees, primarily factory workers along with some engineers and business support positions.

So… $10 billion to build an LCD manufacturing facility for 13,000 employees, if you do the math, is barely a fraction of the cost of building this thing. And they might not even hire American workers. That makes both Foxconn and Trump dirty dealers. So are they or are they not hiring workers from out of the United States?

Foxconn has received roughly $4 billion in subsidies set aside by Wisconsin to build a new plant in the state, but that deal is looking worse and worse with each passing day. According to the Wall Street Journal, Foxconn is looking into transferring workers from China to staff up its plant because the company has struggled to hire enough workers in America. But Foxconn is emphatically denying the report and insists it will find enough workers in the U.S.

“We can categorically state that the assertion that we are recruiting Chinese personnel to staff our Wisconsin project is untrue,” Foxconn Technology Group told Gizmodo over email. “Our recruitment priority remains Wisconsin first and we continue to focus on hiring and training workers from throughout Wisconsin. We will supplement that recruitment from other US locations as required.”

But according to the Wall Street Journal, finding skilled labor in the U.S. is difficult today given the country’s low unemployment numbers. And it’s particularly low in Wisconsin right now, where the unemployment rate sits at just 3 percent, with the nation’s at an incredibly low 3.7 percent.

Of course they did! They won’t flat out admit that they are going to hire Chinese workers over American or they’d risk the deal entirely. And it doesn’t take the guy who wrote “The Art Of The Deal” to tell you how bad this idea is, is it? Well…

Last month, at a rally in Mosinee, Wisconsin, Donald Trump introduced Governor Scott Walker to the stage with a boast regarding a dubious, shared accomplishment. “I got him set up with an incredible company called Foxconn,” Trump told the crowd, referring to the Taiwanese electronics manufacturing giant that had agreed to build its first U.S. plant in the Badger State. “[Foxconn] came to Wisconsin with the most incredible plan . . . It’s the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen. We toured it, and we had a ribbon-cutting a few months ago. And I handed it over to Scott . . . there’s no plant like it anywhere in the United States. One of the most incredible things I’ve ever seen. One of the most incredible things.”

And it’s true! There is nothing like the literally incredible Foxconn deal in the United States, because the Foxconn deal—brokered by First Son-in-Law Jared Kushner—has turned out to be less of a jobs boon than an economic nuclear bomb, and not the good kind, either. To put it more elegantly, the Foxconn deal is the ultimate example of Trump promising Americans the world and then handing them a flaming bag of s--t.

That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Holy Shit: Worshipping The Gun
[br] [/font]

Hey everyone, here’s a brand new, unaired Holy Shit segment that we shot and scrapped at the last minute, that was originally supposed to air in Idiots #10-14. Enjoy!

Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! You know we spend a lot of time on this program talking about idol worship – and mainly real idols like GAWD and JAYSUS! But what about false idol worship? And what happens when one takes the worship of their false idol way too far? I Of course speak of their false idol – the gun! And what happens when you take gun worship to the next level? That’s right – you literally worship the gun you carry. I will repeat that – you literally worship the gun you carry. But there is a literal church that worships the gun. Yes, you heard that correctly! There is a literal church that worships the gun. I thought these guys didn’t like worshipping false idols! But apparently with this crowd, the rules don’t matter and logic and reason have been thrown out the window!

A religious sect known for worshipping with AR-15s and its MAGA politics has purchased a sprawling, 40-acre compound in central Texas, which it hopes will offer a safe-haven for “patriots” from what they believe is an imminent war brought by the “deep state,” VICE News has learned.

The property, located in the small community of Thornton, 40 miles from Waco, was listed at just under $1 million. It’s been dubbed “Liberty Rock'' by its new owners, the Sanctuary Church aka Rod of Iron Ministries, led by Pastor Hyung Jin “Sean” Moon. Members of the congregation often refer to him as “King.”

While Moon’s congregation, estimated to number in the hundreds, is relatively fringe, it’s a direct descendant of the much larger Unification Church, founded by his father, Rev. Sun Myung Moon, a self-proclaimed messiah and accused cult leader whose adoring followers became known to outsiders as “Moonies.”

The younger Moon, who set up shop in 2017 in Newfoundland, Pennsylvania, follows the doctrine of his late father—with a twist. Moon says he was inspired by a biblical passage in the Book of Revelation that talked about Jesus using a “rod of iron” to protect himself and others. He concluded this was a reference to AR-15s, and integrated high-powered firearms into regular church services, including wedding ceremonies. He founded the church with the support of his brother, Kook-jin “Justin” Moon, the CEO of Kahr Arms, a gun manufacturing company headquartered nearby.

Now that is a thing that exists! And yes, why am I not surprised that they also worship the unholy, ungodly Dark One? I of course speak of a man so disgusting and depraved that his name dare not be spoken in my church!!! So why are they doing this you might ask? Where is this all heading? Well it’s all heading toward WAR! But it’s a war that only they are fighting! Because no one wants this, and I am certain the good LAWRD JAYSUS wouldn’t want this either! But yes they’re taking things to the literal and proverbial next level.

A radical pro-gun church recently purchased 40 acres of land to create a refuge from what its followers believe is an imminent war with the "Deep State," Tess Owen of Vice News reports.

The Sanctuary Church—more prominently known as Rod of Iron Ministries was founded in 2017 by Pastor Hyung Jin "Sean" Moon, the son of the late cult leader Reverend Sun Myung Moon of the Unification Church. Pastor Moon frequently wears a crown made of bullets in his public appearances.

Members of the church have incorporated AR-15s into their worship services and embraced the rise of former President Donald Trump. The church's website currently advertises a giveaway contest for a specialized "Trump: Commander in Chief" AR-15.

Earlier this year, Rod of Iron purchased a $1 million patch of land in the small town of Thornton, Texas, not far from the infamous Waco, Texas.

The Texas property, known to followers as "Liberty Rock," came with fishing equipment, cabins, and more, though the church is still seeking thousands of dollars for "renovations." Once these renovations are complete, it hopes to become a so-called refuge from the "destroyers of freedom" it cites on its website.

Now maybe gun worship isn’t a thing for you! Maybe you want to still worship your GAWD of choice and still protect yourself while you pray! Well, North Carolina has a solution for you! That’s right – you can now take your guns in church. Why wait a minute – didn’t the Holy Prophet Carlin predict this one several years ago? Let’s go to the clip!

Well that’s foretelling! So Brother George predicted this over 20 years ago and now it’s coming true! I mean think of the possibilities when one brings their firearms into church!

The North Carolina House passed a measure last week that would allow people with concealed carry permits to have a gun on school property after hours if the facility was being used for religious purposes.

Senate Bill 43, known as the Religious Assembly Security and Protection Act, would expand the ability of citizens to defend themselves while attending religious ceremonies and worship at facilities that also have school. The bill now goes back to the Senate for concurrence, and if passed, will go to Gov. Roy Cooper for signing or veto.

It is currently legal for people with concealed carry permits to have guns in places of worship, but this bill would expand that right. Licensed gun owners would not be allowed to carry their gun during school activities or other activities involving minors, according to the bill.

"We're proud of this bill because it will empower private property owners to set their own security policy, rather than the state imposing a one-size-fits-all solution," said David McFarling, president of the North Carolina Rifle & Pistol Association. "Members of the faith community want to be able to protect themselves and their families and should have equal protection under the law."

No I don’t think we need to resort to that yet. But in the land of “shoot first, ask questions later”, they aim to do just that! Ha, see what I did there? Well now maybe you don’t want to worship the gun literally, but you should be aware that gun worship is becoming a problem. So much that it could become a dominant religion in southern states. Is this a mutating virus that needs to be stopped before it gets worse? You bet! And a whole lot of people are going to die from this insanity!

The Second Amendment comes first.

The message ricocheted around Missouri like stray munitions from a shaky marksman: Pray all you want, but you're not taking away our guns, even for the length of a church service.

Churches, synagogues, temples and mosques have been placed on notice that they may no longer be a sanctuary from the gun lobby and its flock. The state House of Representatives has passed and sent to the Senate a bill that would remove houses of worship from the list of places where gun owners cannot pack heat.

For now, places of religious worship are regarded as off limits for concealed carry of firearms. They're on an exception list that includes police stations, sports arenas, prisons, courthouses and other government buildings, casinos, child-care facilities, amusement parks, airports, schools and colleges, and some bars.

Yes, and that thing happens to be lots and lots of guns! Go ahead, worship your gun, but don’t turn your back on the LAWRD or JAYSUS! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]This Fucking Guy: Nithanyanda
[br] [/font]

Hey everyone! Double secret bonus round! We’ve got a special treat for you: an unaired This Fucking Guy that got bumped from Edition #10-13! Enjoy!

This week’s This Fucking Guy is self-professed Hindu “godman” Nithyananda. Now look, we give Christianity a particularly hard time on this program because they listen to self-professed “god men” and televangelists who think they’re above the law, like Pat Robertson or the Crouch family. Well, we’re here to tell you that – shocker - *EVERY* religion has people like this. Now me, not knowing much about the Hindu religion, had to do a bit of research. So the Hindu religion has people who are called “godman”, and they’re essentially cult leaders. They’re charming, charismatic, and sell you a whole lot of bullshit not directly relating to the religion that they are involved in. Which brings us to our subject this week – this fucking guy Nithyananda. Think of like the craziest cult you could possibly be involved in, then add a dash of James Bond villainy to the mix, and you get Nithyananda. Here’s more about this fucking guy.

As India battles a brutal second wave that has wreaked havoc across the country, self-styled godman Nithyananda in his new video, says that the Covid-19 pandemic will end only when he lands in India.

The fugitive self-styled godman, who has been accused of sexual assault, fled India in 2019, said to have been hiding in Ecuador, claimed that he had set up a so-called ‘Virtual Island’ called ‘Kailasa’ off the coast of Ecuador.

Later then, the self-styled godman used to give sudden entries by releasing videos from time to time to create a stir on social media that eye-catch netizens to create social humour via memes and reactions that eventually go viral. Further, Nithyananda said that he had appealed to the UN requesting to declare ‘Kailasa’ a separate country. By moving a step ahead, Nithyananda also created a website exclusively for Kailasa, following that, he also made a shocking announcement through video that he had opened a Reserve Bank in Kailasa and unveiled new currencies.

Meanwhile, on April 19, the self-styled godman announced that devotees from India will not be permitted to enter his ‘Kailasa’ during the Covid-19 second-wave outbreak. He also included Brazil, European Union and Malaysia in the list.

I know, right? Now here’s the thing before we get sued – we’re not here to make fun of anyone’s religion. But really – fuck this fucking guy. And I don’t know if you saw that tidbit in this last story but the guy bought an island and is trying to setup his own nation. Yes that’s right. And he’s got followers. This is where the James Bond villain aspect of the story comes into play, and I bet M:I-6 is working on this story as we speak. So how was this guy able to defect from being on India’s most wanted list? Well that’s difficult to explain.

Self-styled godman Swami Nithyananda, who fled from India following sexual misconduct charges, has announced a 3-day visa to his "country" -- an island called 'Kailaasa' off the coast of Ecuador in South America.

In a video that went viral, the godman could be heard saying that he has begun operating charter flight services called 'Garuda' from Australia to his island "nation". He gave a route map and said his devotees can come to Australia and from there they will be flown to his island in chartered flights.

The controversial godman, who is wanted by India, has many rich and powerful followers who helped him buy the island from the government of Ecuador.

Nithyananda further said that his "island nation" has put a 3-day visit restriction for all visitors. However, those who want to spend more than three days can apply for the visa.

The godman further said that Kailaasa would provide free food and accommodation to the visitors during their stay.

Seriously if you’re paying actual money to go to this guy’s island, I have some Fyre Festival cheese sandwiches to sell you! Oh and by the way if you think Nithyananda is the only godman who’s abusing his power and treating Indian women like shit, guess what? He’s not the only one. In fact I want to see John Oliver do a segment on these guys, because they’re fucking insane. They make our televangelists look like chumps by comparison. There’s also this fucking guy – Shiva Shankar. Really it’s stuff like this that makes me glad I’m not religious. It seems every one has their share of creeps and weidos.

Self-styled godman Siva Shankar Baba, the founder of Sushil Hari International School in Kelambakkam, has been booked for sexual harassment.

Reports suggest that the spiritual guru harassed the students at his residential school. After several complaints were filed from the school alumni, he was booked for the heinous crime under POSCO Act.

Sexual abuse accused Siva Shankar earlier refused to appear before the Tamil Nadu Commission for Protection Of Child’s Rights claiming he had suffered a heart attack.

Following complaints by the students of harassment, FIRs have been registered in this case and a DSP-rank officer has been appointed to further probe the matter.

As per the complainants, the Baba used to intoxicate and harass them. The case has now been transferred to the Crime-Branch Crime Investigation Department (CBCID).

Yeah good question! And these guys aren’t alone – there’s literally *HUNDREDS* of cases out there just like this. Like there’s Godman Bapu – accused of rape. There’s also Godman Asaram – also accused of rape. And then there’s Godman Rahim – also in jail. And there’s Godman Ramdev, who is wanted for $140 million for spreading false COVID claims. I could go on and on. But so far none have elevated themselves to the level of cartoon supervillainy that Nithyananda has. This is a guy who bought his own island from Ecuador and is setting up his own airport and currency. What could go wrong?

ndians will not be able to visit the island of 'Kailasa' located off the coast of Ecuador for now. Set up in 2019 by self-styled godman Nithyananda, the island has issued a decree prohibiting the entry of travellers from India, Brazil, Malaysia and the European Union in light of the second wave of Covid-19 infections across the globe.

An "Executive Order" issued by the "Presidential Mandate" of Kailasa, which has not been recognised as a nation, says no public will be allowed to enter the island until further notice.

The notice goes further to add that all "de factor spiritual embassies of Kailasa" in the four countries listed above will remain sealed. It also directs all volunteers and 'citizens' of the unrecognised island to quarantine themselves as per local laws.

Accused of sexual assault, self-styled godman Nithyananda has been hiding on the island off the coast of Ecuador since 2019. While proclaiming the island 'Kailasa', Nithyananda described it as a "Hindu sovereign nation".

So if you bought a ticket to Nithyananda’s private island, don’t worry because it’s not valid. And you probably just got conned too. That’s Godman Nithyananda – this week’s:

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner: The Plandemic
[br] [/font]

From: Idiots #8-18

Michael G. from Jackson Hole, Wyoming writes:

“Hey Top 10, I have some friends who won’t take the vaccine and they’re spouting some crazy conspiracy theories they heard online. Where did they get that information from?”

Well, Mike, you won’t find those stories on CNN! You have to go underground for that kind of news, be sure to adjust your tin foil hat accordingly!

Gather around, boys and girls, ladies and gents, and our LGBT brothers and sisters! I don’t want to leave anybody out. It’s the segment where we dissect the latest in the world of batshit crazy, Conspiracy Corner! This week we are going to talk vaccines. Because as the talk of the COVID era is a vaccine that will hopefully kill this virus so we can all get back to the lives we had, the only way we are going to do that is with a vaccine. But with the vaccine already is coming a massive, worldwide disinformation campaign about what vaccines actually do. But thankfully social media websites like Facebook, Youtube, and Google are starting to crack down on misinformation regarding Coronavirus. But like a bad weed or a game of whack-a-mole, truly batshit crazy theories never die. They just spawn new legs and move somewhere else.

Social media is playing a huge role in the consumption of news as people seek out information about the coronavirus pandemic. But COVID-19 conspiracy-based claims are also spreading amid reliable news.

“The 2019-nCOV outbreak and response has been accompanied by a massive ‘infodemic’ — an overabundance of information — some accurate and some not — that makes it hard for people to find trustworthy sources and reliable guidance when they need it,” the World Health Organization stated in a February situation report.

The latest viral craze is the documentary “Plandemic.” This 26-minute documentary focuses on former research scientist Dr. Judy Mikovits and documentary creator Mikki Willis as they dive into a realm of theories about the pandemic.

The video received over a million views while it was hosted on YouTube. It eventually was taken down late last week for violating YouTube’s community guidelines but has made its way to several other social media sites.

“The creators of the video directly encouraged people to share it,” said Alex Kaplan, senior researcher at the left-leaning Media Matters for America. “On the video’s website when the video was launched, they wrote: ‘In an effort to bypass the gatekeepers of free speech, we invite you to download this interview by simply clicking the button below, then uploading directly to all of your favorite platforms’.”

I don’t really think that’s how the virus spread but it does seem like that it could happen! The pandemic has spawned infodemic – and really just add anything with the word “demic” after it and it will be OK, kind of like when they added the word “quantum” to everything after Ant-Man. So now how does one go through the wormhole on anti-vaxxer thinking? Because like most things involving drugs, it’s a long, strange trip to nowhere.

The conspiracy theory video “Plandemic” recently went viral. Despite being taken down by YouTube and Facebook, it continues to get uploaded and viewed millions of times. The video is an interview with conspiracy theorist Judy Mikovits, a disgraced former virology researcher who believes the COVID-19 pandemic is based on vast deception, with the purpose of profiting from selling vaccinations.

The video is rife with misinformation and conspiracy theories. Many high-quality fact-checks and debunkings have been published by reputable outlets such as Science, Politifact and FactCheck.

As scholars who research how to counter science misinformation and conspiracy theories, we believe there is also value in exposing the rhetorical techniques used in “Plandemic.” As we outline in our Conspiracy Theory Handbook and How to Spot COVID-19 Conspiracy Theories, there are seven distinctive traits of conspiratorial thinking. “Plandemic” offers textbook examples of them all.

Learning these traits can help you spot the red flags of a baseless conspiracy theory and hopefully build up some resistance to being taken in by this kind of thinking. This is an important skill given the current surge of pandemic-fueled conspiracy theories.

And that’s probably the safest way to go out in public as long as Coronavirus and COVID-19 exist. Anti vaccination crusaders are a strange and certainly weird bunch indeed. Also, like most things involving social media in 2020, the scariest thing of all in the war on COVID-19? Disinformation! Yes, the bullshit is coming. And like coronavirus, the bullshit doesn’t care what political party you belong to, or what your social or economic status is.

Some “fake news” is more dangerous than others. Lies, distortions and misinformation about coronavirus can be deadly, which is why YouTube and Facebook keep having to remove posts for a video that has circulated widely on social media, garnering millions of views. Its title, “Plandemic,” gives away its premise: that the COVID-19 outbreak, and the attempts to control it, are part of a sinister conspiracy by the very people whom we trust to keep us safe.

The 26-minute video, which is supposedly part of a longer “documentary” to be released this summer, stars Dr. Judy Mikovits — a scientist who was fired from the Whittemore Peterson Institute for Neuro-Immune Disease in 2011 after her research into chronic fatigue syndrome was discredited and retracted.

The video was produced by Mikki Willis, who according to the New York Times was involved in making “Bernie or Bust” and “Never Hillary” videos during the 2016 presidential campaign.

“The coronavirus epidemic is really fertile soil for all kinds of coronavirus conspiracy theories. And I think this video is actually really a good indication for us of how much misinformation can get out there quickly on social media,” says Dr. Dara Kass, an associate professor of emergency medicine at Columbia University Medical Center and a Yahoo News medical contributor.

Well it certainly seems that way. So yeah the people responsible for splitting the democratic party and giving us Bernie Bros are coming for our vaccines! But even with its’ super strict virus misinformation rules regarding COVID, the execs at Twitter are having a hard time swatting the Plandemic video. Even Roundup won’t kill this thing completely. And like a bad weed it will keep popping up and will take a massive effort to kill it.

It’s been about a week since a lengthy preview from the conspiracy documentary “Plandemic” went viral across the internet. The 25-minute video sent tech companies like Twitter, YouTube, and Facebook into a frenzy as they scrambled to scrape it off their platforms.

The hoax — which featured discredited anti-vaccination scientist Dr. Judy Mikovits and has been debunked — sought to expose “the scientific and political elite who run the scam that is our global health system” and accused Dr. Anthony Fauci, a leading member of the White House Coronavirus Task Force, of burying anti-vaccination research.

However, over the past week, the Plandemic video has continued to resurface through alternative video hosting websites.

While other social media giants such as Facebook and YouTube have managed to slow the hoax’s spread, unofficial video links to the “Plandemic” documentary continue to seep through Twitter’s policies and moderating algorithms.

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
[br] [/font]

From: Idiots #7-22

Ivonne R. from Henderson, Nevada writes:

“I love the Idiots! I can’t wait to see you guys in Vegas again! Are you going to do that segment where you get really drunk and comment on the news?”

We appreciate the support! And you bet that we’re going to do this segment again when we come to Vegas the next time! Here’s a preview of that!

Hey everyone we’re almost done for the year and I really need a drink!

So of course you know by now that the idea of this segment is that we know never to mix politics and alcohol, and we need a break from all the insanity, and also inanity, that’s going on in the world. And while we’re imbibing, the idea is to talk about anything other than politics. This week – we’re going to talk about a really traditional German holiday that goes back to the 14th century. And thanks to a movie that came out a few years ago, it’s gaining traction. That holiday is called “Krampus”. And thanks to the movie it’s being celebrated all over the world. And since everything sounds more sinister in German, Krampusnacht, is now a thing. So tell me bartender, what goes well with Krampus? Egg nog with the blood of a sacrificial goat? Eh… I think I’ll just take some regular egg nog thanks! And don’t skimp on the brandy! What is Krampus? Let’s start off with this story.

Be careful this December. Santa’s not the only one watching.

Krampus, Santa’s evil twin, is watching too.

What’s up with that?

Krampus is the horned, hairy demonic beast of European folklore who punishes naughty children at Christmastime. Instead of a bundle of toys, he has birch sticks to swat the misbehaving rascals he hauls down to the underworld.

Dec. 5 is Krampus Night, or Krampusnacht as they say in Europe, where the creepster is a fixture on greeting cards, candy tins and at yuletide events. It’s an excuse for grown men to dress up as Krampus, drink a bunch of alcohol, and run through the streets frightening children.

Around here, sightings are rare.

Krampus was in the fur in November at Oddmall: Emporium of the Weird, a bazaar of the bizarre held twice a year at the Evergreen State Fairgrounds in Monroe.

Well it’s like Christmas, except everyone is watching horror movies, everyone’s on the naughty list, and everyone is OK with that! And also if your December music soundtrack is missing some good old fashioned death metal, don’t worry because Krampus has you covered! Come on, this is the holiday that has even the most hardcore death metal bands like Cannibal Corpse singing some good old fashioned holly jolly Christmas magic!

For plenty of people, Christmas is more a burden than a joy. While the message of the season is supposed to be one of generosity, togetherness, and warmth, the commercialization of the holiday and the way many devout believers behave during the Christmas season make the holiday an exhausting farce. This is especially true of metal fans, whose love of old pagan traditions and extreme imagery usually feels at odd with the Coke-guzzling Santas and all-white nativity scenes present during Christmas time. More than one hesher has received a sweater with a snowman on it from their disapproving parents and wished the whole holiday would burn to the ground.

But now, an ancient spirit of has returned to the public eye: Krampus, the Bavarian Christmas demon and companion of Santa Claus, who lashes and terrifies naughty children. A leering, goat-legged reflection of jolly old Saint Nick, Krampus represents the draconian seriousness with which Christmas was once celebrated. And now, as a pop-culture figure, he’s given metal fans a new icon with which they can blaze into the holidays.

It’s only fitting that Christmas has a demonic entity of its own. Most of the traditions we consider synonymous with the holiday — decorating trees, garlands of holly and pine, gathering around the hearth — are pagan in origin, borrowed from the Germanic festival of Yule. In fact, Christ’s birth is believed to have actually happened in May, but its celebration was moved to combat, and eventually assimilate, the lively pre-Christian festivals that threatened to keep pagans from converting to the church. The gods of these old religions, meanwhile — figures like Pan, Odin, and Hecate — were recast as demons and monsters. One of those, the archaic forest spirit that Wiccans refer to as the Horned God, eventually evolved into the figure we now know as Krampus.

Mmm that’s some good egg nog there, Steve! Steve is my bartender and he’s been the bartender since we started doing this segment. Well if we extrapolate this, this means that Krampus is a lump of coal in your stocking. But since everyone who is celebrating the holiday, is doing so voluntarily, do we even really need that naughty list? And if you want to celebrate Krampus there’s celebrations all over the world now!

Terra Blue looks to establish a new downtown Greensboro holiday tradition, for the pagans and the persecuted, with a visit from Krampus on Dec. 7.

“Krampus thinks he hasn’t been given a fair shake and he’s demanding his job back. Come and support him in his effort, and get a photo with him, too,” reads the event description.

Terra Blue, a shop for “coffee, beads and otherworldly goods,” is owned and operated by married-duo Sarah and Allen McDavid, and serves as an outlet for pagan cultures and new age practices, hosting daily readings and astrological events.

Following the success of their Samhain Soiree in October (a public component of their three-day pagan conference called “the Gathering”), Terra Blue hopes to establish more recurring traditions with a nontraditional flare.

“This will be our first year hosting Krampus,” said Allen McDavid, the man behind the various Ribfests throughout the state and the Carolina Caledonian Scottish festival in Fayetteville.

“I’ve wanted to do it for a long time, but the other events I produced kept me swamped,” he explained. “Since learning of Krampus, I’ve been interested in the cultural and religious significance of the character. From my perspective, it seems clear that he is ‘The Horned One’ from the European Pagan Pantheon, demonized by the Christian Church, as has been the case for pagan deities for the last 2,000 years.”

Chug! Chug! Chug! Basically, think of Krampus as Christmas, but celebrated by the Addams Family and the Collins family from Dark Shadows. You still got your holly jollys and your ho ho hos, only they’re carefully balanced out with some demons and monsters, Annabelles and Chuckys. It’s part the holiday you know and love, and part horror show. But if you’re going to celebrate, just don’t do it the way the Austrians do. It’s meant to bring, um… joy (?) to people, not scare the children!

Goat-horned half-demons with scraggy coats of fur, lolling tongues and threatening bundles of birch branches are no one’s idea of a welcome guest on a winter’s night.

In Austria, however, the figure of the Krampus has been part of pre-Christmas folklore for centuries, with men in costumes roaming the streets to scare children and grownups from the end of November to the middle of December.

Yet in recent years the Krampus has developed to become an altogether very modern bogeyman, with a rising number of complaints about the demons acting in a drunkenly and disorderly fashion once they have donned their fearsome masks.

In Carinthia, police recorded a number of violent incidents this year in the run-up to the official “Krampus day” on 5 December, with one person being hit in the face with a birch and an 11-year-old child being left with bloody cut on their thigh.

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Deep State Diaries Episode 17: The FBI
[br] [/font]

From: Idiots #5-17

Bryan O. from Norfolk, Virginia writes:

“Hey Top 10, so what are going to do for your next crazy tour?”

Well it’s no secret that our ongoing series for the upcoming season 11 – launching on July 15th (it got moved back a week because of the holiday) – is going to be called “Red State Diaries” and will center around states that voted for Trump. And coming in 2022 – our 6 part “What’s Up With Florida” docuseries that was originally scheduled for last year! Stay tuned for announcements!

It’s time for episode 2 of Deep State Diaries. Yes we’re touring the 24 branches and services that make up the United States government. Everything from the FBI to the IRS to the Pentagon to the CIA to the DPW to the DVA to parks and recreation and all branches and services in between. Of course if you’re here you probably already know more about our government and how it works than your average Fox News loving Trump supporter does. So that’s what this segment is going to address. We are going to do a deep dive into all that makes the United States the United States. Because we here at the Top 10 love to educate as well as entertain. Because we care.

[font size="6"]The FBI[/font]

We need some music for this one:

Yes, the truth is out there, folks! So this week we’re heading out to Langley, Virignia to visit the organization known as the Federal Bureau of Investigations. THE FBI!!!!! Whew, that was very well timed, sound effects guy! But the FBI does more than just investigate extra terrestrial activity as their X-Files unit clearly shows. So what makes the FBI the FBI? Why are conservatives so afraid of the FBI and why do they constantly attack it?

The FBI says it was unable to find any records to support President Trump's claim that there are "100 pictures" of former FBI Director James Comey and special counsel Robert Mueller "kissing and hugging each other."

Jason Leopold, an investigative reporter for BuzzFeed News, sent a Freedom of Information Act request to the FBI last month after Trump made the comment in an interview with the Daily Caller.

"We were unable to locate records responsive to your request," the FBI said in a letter to Leopold on Oct. 17, which the reporter shared on Twitter. "Therefore, your request is being administratively closed."

The letter notes "three discrete categories" of law enforcement and national security records that Congress excluded from such a FOIA request.

Upon seeing the letter, Comey tweeted, "My wife is so relieved," along with a "tears of joy" emoji.

Of course they weren’t. Because they don’t exist! Damn Trump and his conspiracy theorist lunatic fanbase – you guys are intentionally wasting the FBI’s time. You want to know what an actual FBI investigation looks like? Here’s one.

A second Sedgwick County Commissioner is on record with KSN, saying there is an FBI investigation into several of the commissioners.

"I can tell you it's not me. I'm not part of the investigation other than answering questions," said Commissioner Jim Howell.

Howell does confirm he has answered questions of FBI investigators.

"Yes, I have," said Howell. "I don't want to harm what's being investigated so I guess it would be wise not to comment on that right now. But their timeline and how exactly they move forward is really up to them. I don't want to cause any problems. It's been going on probably most of the month of October."

The FBI is conducting an investigation involving the Sedgwick County Commission, multiple sources tell KSN.

Richard Ranzau went on record with KSN Monday confirming the investigation.

Yeah probably. Getting involved with the FBI is no joke. And people make jokes and take pot shots at the FBI all the time. But one thing the FBI is investigating? The Catholic Church. Yes we’ve talked for quite a bit about the Catholic Church’s egregious mishandling of abuse cases, but the FBI may be getting involved in one town.

Agents from the Federal Bureau of Investigation visited St. Mary's Church in Swormville, a source tells Two On Your Side's Steve Brown.

St. Mary's is the same church where a priest retired after an allegation of misconduct. Father Robert Yetter resigned after being placed on administrative leave a few months ago, according to a report in the Buffalo News.

There are multiple buildings on church property and Two On Your Side is told the agents were spotted in several of them.

In addition to the FBI's visit of St. Mary's, Two On Your Side was told agents have interviewed people with connections to the Buffalo Diocese.

This development comes one week after news broke that the Buffalo Diocese turned over documents after they were served with a federal subpoena.

Yeah there’s no making fun of that so we won’t try. Although there was that awesome episode of South Park a couple of weeks ago where the town gathered at the church every Sunday just so they could make fun of priests abusing kids. But getting back on topic, do you think you have what it takes to join the FBI? There’s an app for that!

If you think you have what it takes to join the FBI and become a special agent, there’s an app to test you physical fitness level against FBI standards.

The FBI’s Physical Fitness Test app is free to download in the Apple App Store, or on Google Play. It allows you to take the same fitness test required of anybody entering the FBI academy. It’s also the same kind of fitness test FBI agents must pass every year to stay in the bureau.

Taking the test yourself allows you to score yourself against FBI standards.

“I’ve always viewed the fit test as kind of a check on yourself personally every year,” said FBI Indianapolis Special Agent in Charge Grant Mendenhall. “Where you are from a fitness standpoint.”

I got a taste of the fitness test Tuesday morning at Butler’s Davey Track and Field complex. Special Agent Andrew Evans put me and a few others through a deceptively difficult regimen of fitness events.

[font size="6"]Score Card [/font]

Overall importance: A
How Things Are Going: B
Likely hood To Survive: A+

Overall: A-

[font size="6"]Next Week [/font]

It’s time to visit the organization that handles our mail and precious cargo, the United States Post Office, and do your best Newman impression here!

See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded At: Observatory OC, Santa Ana, CA
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Articles: All article content copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
Graphics: Top 10 Graphics Department
Research: Top 10 Research Department
Lighting & Stage Props: Top 10 Lighting Department
Legal: Top 10 Legal Department
Advertising: Top 10 Advertising Department
HR: Top 10 Human Resources Department
Initech’s Wardrobe Provided By: JAB Inc.
Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
Follow The Top 10 On Twitter at: @10Idiots
New! Follow The Holy Church Of The Top 10 On Twitter: @churchoftop10
Questions? Comments? Complaints? Hate mail? E-mail The Top 10 at: [email protected]

Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

0 replies, 627 views

Reply to this thread

Back to top Alert abuse

Reply to this thread