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Thu Mar 25, 2021, 05:00 PM

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #10-8: So You Had A Bad Day Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #10-8: So You Had A Bad Day Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! We’re still coming to you live from this blank, blue void in the back room of a Burbank comedy club for the foreseeable future. And this blue void just turned 1 year old this week. And I never thought I would say this to a 1 year old but I hope you stop fucking existing fucking soon! OK I had to get that off my chest. Do we have time for the thing? Of course we do, it’s my show! I make the rules! You know we can all agree that the pandemic has sucked balls, am I right about that? But you know one thing that it’s been absolutely great for? The American liquor industry! I know, right? Well of course we’re staying at home because we can’t go out and hang out at bars or anything. There was a new report saying last year that we bought more booze than at any point in the last 200 years. Not to mention drinking on the job has increased like 100 fold. That is insane. While we’re all sitting on our webcams waiting for life to return to normal again, we’re at least drinking our way out of the pandemic! So I guess does that mean when we return to the office again we will also be returning to rehab centers? I kid, I kid! But yeah go ahead, replace your coffee with an Irish coffee while you read this! I won’t judge! I’m drinking right now, in fact! OK that is enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first Bill Maher is back and he tells people that it's time to chill the fuck out:

Where do we begin this week? Well it’s not normally the Top 10 policy to make fun of tragedy but when there’s a mass shooting in Atlanta (1), and the police are doing literally everything they can to cover up the real reasons why it happened, we have to talk about it! Taking the second slot this week is the former 45th president of the United States, Vladimir Putin (2). Is it wise for him to pick a fight with President Biden? Well I can assure you that this will not end well! In the #3 slot this week is our favorite Q Anon Congress critter Marjorie Taylor Greene (3). Greene got herself banned from Twitter for being a pompous asshole (again) while more conservatives including Mike Lindell and Donald Trump are going to start their own conservative friendly social media sites. Yay, more shit I won’t subscribe to! Speaking of Donald J. Trump (4), the former president is occupying the 4th space this week. He’s having a week which includes a shocking expose about the state of his 757, his possible prosecution in New York for massive tax fraud, and Mar-A-Shithole got closed for COVID violations. Yay! Taking the #5 slot this week is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5) and this week we’re going to take a look at a problem that’s unique to the city of Oakland – abandoned and torched cars are being left in prominent places, but is it a racist symbol? You bet your ass it is! In the #6 slot this week is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” and this week our resident pastor is going to take a look at the more addicting side of religion after former Korn guitarist Brian “Head” Welch made a shocking claim that his embrace of hardcore religion was like a drug to him. In the #7 slot this week, we’re going to bring back our segment “Aw, It’s Not So Bad”. Hey, white male conservatives, if you’re complaining about Cardi B’s performance of WAP that was basically a live lesbian sex scene set to music, then would you mind if I took a look at your Porn Hub searches? No? I thought so! Taking the 8th slot this week we have a new addition to the ever-growing list of People Who Somehow Got Elected (8) and this week we’re adding Arizona representative Paul Gosar (Q-Batshit) to that ever-growing list! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week we have a new People Are Dumb and we occasionally (read: frequently) like to check in with the Sunshine State in a special all Florida edition! Finally this week it’s time for Stupidest State 2021! This week it’s Round 1 Week 2 and we have a showdown of Fiscal Irresponsibility favorites as #3 Nevada goes for broke against #4 Iowa, while over in the Gun Nut Conference, interstate rivals #3 Oregon brings their big guns to the dance against #4 Idaho! Two of these teams will move on, the others go home! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]The Atlanta Shooting
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Sigh… well I guess now that COVID is subsiding, America can get back to the other epidemic that’s sending Americans to the hospitals in large numbers. Mass shootings! No, that’s nothing to cheer about, fake audience. But this one it appears is quite different. And I’m not talking about the way that when a white male commits a mass shooting in America that people start making excuses for everything but his whiteness and the gun that he used. The other thing is that this shooting one could say is *DIRECTLY* tied to the racist rhetoric coming from our former president. Yeah remember all those times he hurled racist slurs at the pandemic and called it “the China Virus”? That’s had a real effect here.

U.S. Democratic Senator Tammy Duckworth on Sunday expressed doubts about FBI Director Chris Wray’s initial assessment that the fatal shooting of six Asian women in Atlanta-area spas may not constitute a hate crime, saying it “looks racially motivated.”

“From where I sit, I want to see a deeper investigation into whether or not these shootings and other similar crimes are racially motivated,” Duckworth, who is one of only two Asian-Americans currently serving in the U.S. Senate, told CBS “Face the Nation.”

“It looks racially motivated to me,” she said, adding the caveat that she is not a police officer or personally investigating the crimes.

Police in Atlanta are still investigating the motive in connection with the fatal shooting of eight people, six of whom were Asian women, on Tuesday. The Federal Bureau of Investigation is assisting with the investigation.

Gee, you think? Now here’s where it gets fucking weird. Remember that Jewish synagogue shooting and the cops brought the killer some Burger King? Yeah think of it like that scenario. But really poor baby, he had a bad day! I know, cue the song!

You know what? We all have bad days and I’ve particularly had bad fucking days since the calendar day of March 13th, 2020. But you know what my bad days don’t involve? They don’t involve buying a gun and using it to go on a fucking killing spree!!

The sheriff's department in Cherokee County, Georgia, is facing backlash after a captain described the alleged gunman in the killings of eight people at Atlanta-area spas as having "a really bad day."

The suspect, 21-year-old Robert Long, was taken into custody hours after the Tuesday shootings which took place at three different locations: one in Cherokee County and two in Atlanta.

When asked at Wednesday's news conference if Long understood the gravity of his alleged crimes, Cherokee County Sheriff's Capt. Jay Baker said, "I spoke with investigators, they interviewed him this morning. And they got that impression, yes -- he understood the gravity of it."

"And he was pretty much fed up and had been, kind of, at the end of his rope. And yesterday was a really bad day for him, and this is what he did," Baker said.

Oh fuck off!!!! We all have bad days, made even worse in the last year! You know what I don't do on a bad day? Buy a gun and murder 8 people working in salons! Just seriously... fuck off! Thank you my fake audience! But here’s the thing – it wasn’t racism that fueled this crime. Oh no, it was – wait for it – his sexual addiction! Oh and our good friends at Right Wing Watch have pointed out that some right wing bloggers didn’t take long to make a “happy ending” joke in regards to the shootings. Classy.

Robert Aaron Long, the suspect in Atlanta-area shootings Tuesday that left eight dead, was planning to travel to Florida to commit more acts of violence and alleged to authorities that his actions were motivated by sex addiction rather than racial bias against Asian Americans, police said at a press briefing Wednesday.

Police said Long appeared to have issues with sex addiction and porn and may have patronized some of the spas targeted in the shooting, believing he saw the locations as “outlets for his addiction” and they were “temptations” to “eliminate.”

Authorities acknowledged it was still “early” in their investigation, but claimed the incident may not have been motivated by racial bias as was initially suspected—an allegation many expressed skepticism of and police said would require further investigation—despite the fact many of the victims in the shooting were of Asian descent.

Police found a 9 millimeter firearm in Long’s vehicle, and said they believed he was on his way to Florida to commit “similar acts” directed at the porn industry had he not been arrested.

Yeah that’s a great idea – give a guy a gun, an addiction, and an excuse to cross state lines. Now I know what you’re thinking – that’s the most fucked up game of Mad Libs ever! Oh and in case you’re wondering if this gets weirder – oh believe me it does! Remember back at the beginning of this when I said that Trump might have been responsible? Well the arresting officer had promoted t-shirts calling it the “China Virus” on his Facebook page! It’s the circle of shit and it screws us all!

Jay Baker, a Georgia sheriff’s captain criticized for minimizing the actions of the Atlanta spa shooter, posted racist Covid-19 T-shirts on Facebook earlier this year.

In Facebook posts from late March and April last year, Baker posted photos of T-shirts bearing the legend that Covid-19 is an “imported virus from CHY-NA,” along with a biohazard symbol, The Daily Beast first reported.

The posts were removed from Baker’s profile after The Daily Beast and BuzzFeed News published stories about it. Less than an hour later, his entire Facebook page was deleted.

Baker was criticized for downplaying the role anti-Asian bias may have played in the shootings after he noted during a press conference that the shooter claimed the attacks weren’t racially motivated, adding that “yesterday was a really bad day for him, and this is what he did.”

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[font size="8"]Joe Biden Vs Vladimir Putin
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It’s time for another episode of Celebrity Deathmatch! This time in this corner, the 46th president of the United States. He’s 78 years old and in much better shape than the guy before him, Joseph R. Biden! In this corner, he is the 3 term Russian president who will soon become the country’s permanent dictator, the master of internet propaganda, Vladimir Putin! So this week, Biden finally nails Putin on his internet disinformation campaign! And here’s the thing – when tensions between the two countries are already at an all time high, the last thing you want to do is set off what could be a literal and proverbial powder keg just waiting to go off. Because that could be disastrous. After all Putin was in charge of the US for the last four years. What could go wrong?

The Russian Foreign Ministry said Monday that Washington has rejected President Vladimir Putin’s offer to arrange a quick public call with U.S. President Joe Biden to help defuse tensions raised by Biden's recent remark that the Russian leader was a killer.

“One more opportunity has been missed to find a way out of the deadlock in Russian-U.S. relations created through the fault of Washington," the ministry said in a statement, adding that "responsibility for this lies entirely with the United States.”

In an interview broadcast last Wednesday, Biden replied “I do” when asked if he thought Putin was a “killer.” Putin spokesman Dmitry Peskov said that Putin’s subsequent offer to make the call public was intended to prevent Biden’s statement from inflicting irreparable damage to the already frayed ties between Russia and the United States.

Asked by reporters Friday if he’ll take Putin up on his offer to have a call, Biden said, “I’m sure we’ll talk at some point.”

No we’re not going that far yet. But so far Biden has the advantage here. However, this segment is about the former president of the United States, Vladimir Putin. Well, here’s one thing I will admit – Putin has some balls. And one thing – when he’s called a killer, Putin doesn’t back down. Oh no, my friends, he doubles down! And he quite literally wears it on his sleeve. I mean we’re treading into some serious Mr. Burns territory here! Think of this like Wolves In Wolves’ Clothing.

With the 50th anniversary of the Warsaw Pact invasion to rein in then-Czechoslovakia quickly approaching, one of the Kremlin's boldest advocacy groups has set up a military-style "camp" outside the capital of NATO member Slovakia.

The Night Wolves motorcycle club, whose members were at the vanguard of Russia's occupation of Crimea and nicknamed "Putin's Angels" by the media, has taken residence at a former military base in Dolna Krupa, about 60 kilometers northeast of Bratislava.

The move by the club, known for promoting Russian nationalism, hatred of gays and feminists, and allegiance to the Kremlin, appears aimed at revealing a dark, anti-Western side of the European Union member, which has sizable far-right and Russophile elements.

The group, which has been hit with sanctions from the West over its support for pro-Russia separatists in eastern Ukraine, was established in Slovakia last month.

Well as you can imagine this might have sparked the proverbial powder keg. And Biden may be the adult in the room, but as you can imagine you know the old saying “the enemy of my enemy is my friend”. So China is jumping at the opportunity to be Russia’s new ally. Gee, really, what could possibly go wrong there? No, we’re not heading into Soviet territory yet. No, don’t push that button!

Chinese state media is pushing for closer Beijing-Moscow ties after last week's war of words between President Joe Biden's administration and top officials in Russia and China.

The Biden administration has vowed to push back on both China and Russia over the next four years, as the White House looks to refocus American foreign policy on the U.S.-led international system, traditional alliances, and democracy abroad.

Biden's vow to protect liberal democratic values puts him at odds with the authoritarian systems in Russia and China, and conflict last week with President Vladimir Putin and Chinese officials at bilateral talks in Alaska gave a hint of the great power tensions that might yet characterize his term.

Secretary of State Antony Blinken heads to Europe this week for NATO talks, at which Russia and China will be high on the agenda. Before the week is out, Moscow and Beijing might be bristling even more at recharged American assertiveness.

Now here’s why Biden’s call may have rattled Putin a bit. It seems in Russia, they take childhood insults just a bit too literally there. Man, I am glad that Trump’s insults didn’t stick. Can you imagine Adam Schiff being called “Lil’ Shifty Schiff” for the rest of his life? Yeah maybe that’s part of their problem – they have a huge manhood problem in Russia. Maybe if they didn’t take this stuff so seriously things might be better. But that’s a pretty big “might”.

President Vladimir V. Putin dryly wished President Biden “good health” on Thursday after the American leader assented to a description of his Russian counterpart as a “killer,” and long-running tensions morphed into a furious exchange of trans-Atlantic taunts.

The previous evening, Russia took the rare step of recalling its ambassador to Washington after Mr. Biden’s comments in a television interview, warning of the possibility of an “irreversible deterioration of relations.” On Thursday, seated in a gilded chair on the seventh anniversary of Russia’s annexation of Crimea, Mr. Putin all but called Mr. Biden a killer himself.

“When I was a child, when we argued in the courtyard, we said the following: ‘If you call someone names, that’s really your name,’” Mr. Putin said, quoting a Russian schoolyard rhyme. “When we characterize other people, or even when we characterize other states, other people, it is always as though we are looking in the mirror.”

Despite Mr. Biden’s long-running criticism of Mr. Putin, some Russian analysts had voiced hope that the Kremlin could forge a productive working relationship with the new administration in Washington on areas of common interest. But Mr. Biden’s combative stance in an interview with ABC News that was broadcast on Wednesday seemed to puncture those hopes, even as many of Mr. Putin’s critics praised the American president’s comments.

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[font size="8"]Marjorie Taylor Greene
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Here’s the thing, conservatives – if you don’t want to be canceled, maybe don’t put yourself in a place where you could be canceled! You can’t just say crazy shit and spew racist conspiracy theories without it coming back to bite you. And before you ask, yes, I have been watching HBO’s new Q Anon docuseries and it’s every bit as crazy as you can imagine. Now this is where the subject of our next entry comes in, and that’s Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q – Batshit). And you know what the really scary thing with the Q trolls is? Every time we ban them, that only gives them more fuel for the fire. But that’s what makes people like Marjorie Greene get crazier with each thing that comes their way. It’s almost like they live for it.

Twitter suspended Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene's personal account for 12 hours, her office said in a statement on Friday.

A spokesperson for the Republican lawmaker told Insider that the social media platform provided "no explanation" for the lock, which kicked in at 1 a.m. ET.

The temporary ban comes as a slew of House Democrats attempt to expel Greene from Congress on Friday. The resolution, introduced by Rep. Jimmy Gomez of California, has been co-sponsored by 72 Democrats, including high-profile lawmakers Reps. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York and Ilhan Omar of Minnesota.

"In the dark of night, Twitter chose to silence a sitting member of Congress facing an unprecedented political attack by House Democrats," Greene's office said in its statement to Insider. "This move eliminated any possibility for Congresswoman Greene to defend her reputation, her seat, and most importantly the votes of 230,000 Georgians in the 14th District on the Twitter platform."

Yeah remember when their plan to “unleash the kraken” turned out to be nothing more than a dead squid thrown onto the ice at Red Wings games? Oh these people are so freaking hilarious. They get knocked down, and they get knocked down again. You’re never going to keep them down. But what makes this even crazier is that this isn’t the first time that Marjorie Greene has been banned from Twitter. This happened back in January.

Twitter suspended Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, R-Ga., for 12 hours on Sunday, saying that she has repeatedly run afoul of the company’s misinformation policy.

“The account referenced has been temporarily locked out for multiple violations of our civic integrity policy,” a Twitter spokesperson said.

Greene’s most recent posts included one in which she made false claims about widespread voter fraud in Georgia in both the November election and in the Jan. 5 Senate runoffs and another series of tweets in which she repeated more debunked claims and called Georgia’s elections officials “morons.”

Twitter restricted those posts from further promotion and slapped them with warning labels. Her account remained live, but she is unable to post.

Excuse me a minute… But here’s the thing Q bots and Trump fans – and I say this with the utmost sincerity – if you’re not fit for Twitter, you shouldn’t be fit for public office. In fact this happened after Marjorie Greene got elected – Twitter flagged a whole bunch of her Tweets as “misleading”. And by a “whole bunch”, we mean “almost half”. And this is fucking shocking. Well not really, but it should at least be alarming to anyone who has a brain.

Marjorie Taylor Greene is accusing Twitter of anti-conservative censorship after the social media platform placed contextual labels on nearly two dozen of the GOP congresswoman-elect tweets since the final polls closed on Tuesday.

Greene, who won her race in Georgia, is headed to Congress as one of the country’s most visible promoters of the QAnon conspiracy theory.

As of this writing, 54% of Greene’s tweets since the election — 19 out of 31 — have been labeled by Twitter as potentially misleading. Several of the flagged tweets accuse Democrats of trying to steal the election; others target the “Fake News Media” for allegedly lying about poll numbers and vote results.

In response, Greene posted a video on Thursday to social media that showed label after label on her Twitter account.

“Twitter censored me ALL day yesterday,” she claimed. “Sign your Official STOP THE STEAL PETITION.”

Oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck you. Like I said if you don’t want to be canceled, stop doing things that will get you canceled, you stupid idiot! It’s not that hard! And the thing is if you keep getting banned, that’s on you! I don’t want to say we helped with that, but yeah we kind of helped with that. But anyway this latest ban was only temporary… or was it?

Twitter locked controversial Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.) out of her personal account for hours on Friday, before later acknowledging her suspension was an error caused by the social network’s automated enforcement systems, a move that comes as some Democrats push to expel Greene from Congress over her embrace of conspiracy theories.

Twitter took action against Greene at about 12:45 a.m. Friday, preventing her from tweeting anything for 12 hours, though the site did not offer an explanation or specify how she violated its policies at the time, Greene spokesperson Nick Dyer told Forbes.

This action was a mistake by the automated system Twitter uses to enforce site rules, the company said in a statement, and Greene’s account has since been restored.

Twitter did not respond when asked which tweets by Greene triggered the lockout.
Crucial Quote

“We use a combination of technology and human review to enforce the Twitter Rules across the service,” Twitter said in a statement. “In this case, our automated systems took enforcement action on the account referenced in error.”

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Last I checked the 45th president of the United States is still the world’s biggest loser. He’s the biggest loser, no one loses better than he does! But specifically there were two stories that I wanted to touch on this week. The first is his private jet. Remember the golden 757 that he flew in during the campaign while he gorged on buckets of KFC? Can we show that? In what might be one of the sadder “where are they now” episodes ever, let’s check in on the condition of Trump’s plane now. It’s currently sitting abandoned in an airport hangar in upstate New York. And it doesn’t look like it will be flying anytime soon. What’s crazy about this is that it’s perfectly on brand for Trump. Well maybe it’s not that crazy.

Donald Trump's personal Boeing 757 was always the crown jewel of his wealth - the ultimate sign that he had made it.

He's used it as a backdrop for sleek photo shoots, campaign rallies, VIP tours, for shots of him eating his Big Macs and KFC, plated, with a knife and fork.

Mr Trump loved to show it off - the customised cream-coloured leather seats, gilded bathrooms, the seat buckles layered in 24-karat gold.

But today it sits idle on an airport ramp in Orange County, New York, about 97 kilometres north of Manhattan.

One engine is missing parts. The other is shrink-wrapped in plastic. The cost to fix and get it flyable could reach well into the high six-figures, a price-tag Mr Trump doesn't appear to be dealing with right now.

And that’s probably about the appropriate reaction from Trump too. I mean having your own fully tricked out 757 should be the ultimate symbol of your wealth right? Well just like most things Trump throws away in the trash – including umbrellas, Big Mac wrappers, and pieces of toilet paper stuck to his shoe, the 757 ends up in an airplane graveyard. And nobody really cares, either. Especially him, though when has he shown he cares about anything?

Former US President Donald Trump may have returned to life as a private citizen, but his private jet remains parked at New York Stewart International Airport, forsaken for a smaller, somewhat newer model.

The plane arrived at the airport in New Windsor from LaGuardia Airport in the spring of 2019, hangered at Signature Aviation.

That's part of Signature Flight Support, a company with more than 200 locations at airports around the world, providing "essential support services for business and private aviation, including refuelling, hangarage, maintenance, repair and overhaul, and a variety of other world-class amenities with exceptional customer service”.

A manager for Signature did not immediately respond to a request for comment or to verify that Trump or his organisation is still leasing space from them.

Yeah well, switching gears, something else that bears Trump’s name that will most likely end up in the trash is his new social media site that he’s been “working on”. And I say “working on” with quotation marks is because when has he ever been known to do any real, actual work? Well it’s going to launch soon and it’s going to compete with the already hundreds of radical , right wing communities out there like Parler, Gab, Dlive, Telegram, and Mike Lindell’s new Pillow Talk app.

Former President Donald Trump is coming back to social media -- but this time with his own network, a Trump spokesperson told Fox News on Sunday.

Jason Miller, a long-time adviser and spokesperson for Trump's 2020 campaign told Howard Kurtz on Fox's "MediaBuzz" that Trump will be "returning to social media in probably about two or three months." He added Trump's return will be with "his own platform" that will attract "tens of millions" of new users and "completely redefine the game."

"This is something that I think will be the hottest ticket in social media," Miller told Kurtz. "It's going to completely redefine the game, and everybody is going to be waiting and watching to see what President Trump does, but it will be his own platform."

Miller said during his appearance on Fox News that the former president has been approached by numerous companies and is in talks with teams about the new platform.

"This new platform is going to be big," Miller said on Sunday. "Everyone wants him and he's going to bring millions and millions -- tens of millions -- to this platform."

Aw… how cute! He thinks it’s going to be a game changer! Well here’s the cold, hard, economic news for you buddy – this is what’s known as a “perfectly competitive” market. There are hundreds of products in the social media realm now that all offer almost literally the same product – posting your shit. And come on, at least some posters on Gab are more realistic about how it’s going to do than Trump is. Seriously… I mean WTF???

Far-right social media account TheWesternChauvinist, which is linked to the Proud Boys hate group, has said Donald Trump's planned social media network "is going to suck," and competing network Gab has shared the message.

Jason Miller, an adviser and spokesperson for Trump, told Fox News on Sunday the former Republican president would be making a social media return by creating a platform of his own.

Miller told reporter Howard Kurtz: "Everyone wants him and he's going to bring millions and millions—tens of millions—to this platform."

But the planned account has been criticized by the Proud Boys-affiliated group TheWesternChauvinist via its Telegram messaging service profile, which said Trump should instead choose to join social media network Gab which far-right supporters have embraced.


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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Oakland’s Abandoned Car Problem
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!

This week the city of Oakland is experiencing a very unique problem. Abandoned, torched, and stripped cars are being left aft the side of freeways everywhere. But is it a problem because of the city’s skyrocketing homeless problem or is it because of another problem that the city rarely talks about – a seedy racist underbelly? Well some say that it’s a combination of both. If you drive on the freeways in the city of Oakland, you won’t see what’s going on underneath. But underneath has something that is reminiscent of a post-apocalyptic movie – abandoned and scorched cars that were formerly luxury vehicles. But the problem has been persisting for some time and is now becoming an epidemic that authorities are having trouble dealing with.

Just beneath the bustling Nimitz Freeway, there’s hundreds of them. Maybe even thousands.

They’re gutted and stripped, covered in graffiti, burned to pieces and exploding with trash. Oakland’s swaths of abandoned vehicles are an unsightly urban phenomenon, and just parallel to Wood Street, which is home to sprawling tent encampments, there’s an astonishing amount of them.

Just ahead, two people can be seen stripping a rusty truck that’s been reduced to a frame on wheels. The area, which feels like something out of a post-apocalyptic John Carpenter film, is cluttered with AC Transit buses, bombed-out BMWs and overturned Audis. But how did they get here? And more importantly, why is the city allowing them to accumulate?

According to the community, these cars aren’t just concentrated near encampments. Oftentimes, they pile up in West Oakland and the "flatlands" of East Oakland, clogging up streets and sitting for months at a time.

That is a good question and we don’t know the answer. In fact what makes this problem unique is that these abandoned cars aren’t always abandoned. What makes this even stranger is that these cars are often what police and investigators consider to be “trap” cars – that is cars that are left with loaded firearms and drugs and are left for authorities to find, and for criminals to ambush them. Yes, think of this like a more horrifying mafia movie.

According to Keisha Henderson, a public safety advocate and generational District 6 resident, the abandoned autos in her neighborhood are a byproduct of systemic racism.

She says wealthier districts like 1 and 2 are treated differently than districts 5, 6 and 7, and that resources from the city are unevenly allocated. “We have been talking about this and get no type of traction over this issue,” Henderson says of the cars. “The city picks and chooses how they want to enforce the law in certain areas. ... Our voices have not been valued.” Traffic Operations representatives assert that they evenly distribute services across the city, and say that districts 6 and 7 have more police service technicians handling 311 requests compared to other districts.

However, abandoned cars are a serious issue precisely because they aren’t always abandoned.

One time, Henderson says a vehicle was left in her own driveway and when she confronted the driver, the situation became hostile. Members of the Neighborhood Crime Prevention Council and OPD have also confirmed that some of these vehicles are “trap cars” that harbor drugs and firearms.

So there’s many questions that are arising from this. Is it because it’s a crime problem? Is it because there’s a systemic racism problem? Is it because there’s all of the above happening? Well the answer for this isn’t easy and there’s plenty of explanation but none of it is the right explanation that we are looking for. But Oakland is wondering if some districts are actually treated better than others.

The lifecycles of some cars unfortunately end with them abandoned. Some of these vehicles are in a state of disrepair, stolen or are on the receiving end of a crime. For the city of Oakland, California, abandoned vehicles are a growing problem and the city has no real fix.

The situation described in the SFGate report is grim. Only feet below the cars rumbling down the Nimitz Freeway are up to thousands of abandoned vehicles from cars to transit buses and boats:

While the city agrees that the abandoned vehicles are a problem for Oakland’s image and environment, it still allows vehicles to pile up, specifically in black and brown communities.

The city is trying to clear the streets of abandoned cars, including a sweep of hundreds of cars back in 2018, but it isn’t keeping up:

Residents feel that wealthier Oakland districts are treated differently than others. The allocations of city resources aren’t being distributed evenly, making the problem even worse for black and brown people.

What makes this problem even more troublesome is that this isn’t the first time Oakland has attempted to clear the city of abandoned cars. The last time this was attempted was in 2018 when a record 350 cars were found on city streets and underneath the freeways. But the truth of the problem is that nobody knows where abandoned cars will wind up and many of them end their life as abandoned.

Hundreds of abandoned vehicles were left on the streets in Oakland, and police in that town are taking action by towing the vehicles in a pair of recent abandoned vehicle sweeps.

If you are in Oakland and you find one of the orange courtesy notices on the windshield of your vehicle, it means you have 72 hours to park it somewhere else or it will be towed.

“These are just clear instructions to the owners to what the rules are about how long a car can be parked on a particular street,” Oakland police Capt. Tony Jones said. “So far, we have towed in excess of 350 cars.”

Three-hundred-and-fifty autos were targeted by Oakland police in a pair of recent towing sweeps that took place this past weekend and back during the last weekend in July, from East Oakland to the San Leandro border.

This is it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the virtual pew and pass the VENMO collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair virtual congregation! This week I have a rather perplexing puzzle to ask – is religion really addicting? I ask because I ran across an interview last week that made me go “WTF?”. That interview happened to feature the former guitarist for the band Korn. But we’re here to look at the more positive side of this interview. After all, what Mr. Welch did was just trade one vice for another, which is the cornerstone of nearly all rehab programs. But that’s not what the good LAWRD JAYSUS would want now is it? If you’re going to decide that religion is the right thing for your life, maybe you shouldn’t make a grand spectacle of it. I may be this virtual presence right now, but I do respect that one’s religion is one’s choosing, and that says so right in our Good Book!

To most people, his life seemed like a stunning success — the stuff that dreams are made of.

But if you stripped away the fame, fortune and success of Korn rockstar Brian 'Head' Welch, you would have seen a man battling his way through years of searing pain and self-destruction driven by drug and alcohol abuse.

Yet it was only when he found himself as deep in the darkness as he'd ever been in the mid-2000s that he made a bold, do-or-die bid for the light. His little daughter, Jennea, now 20, was growing up without the benefit of everything he knew he longed to give to her.

He was so determined to survive the long and unforgiving road to recovery that he walked away from a $23 million record deal, he told ABC News.

Now that’s how it started. But let’s get a clarification on this one. Because when you say something that controversial, it has the tendency to you know, get completely blown out of proportion. And by the way I love that he went on a podcast called “No Fuckin Regrets” to express his regrets. But here’s the thing though – we forgive here at the Holy Church Of The Top 10, especially if one can turn around their extremist beliefs!

Korn guitarist Brian “Head” Welch departed the band back in 2005 after becoming a born again Christian and has opened up about his experience with religion.

Welch was suffering from addiction when he became a born again Christian and subsequently left the band in 2005. He eventually rejoined Korn in 2012 as both Welch and the band had felt they had grown exponentially since his previous stint.

“There was no hard drugs going around. No raging alcoholics, no cocaine, none of that was backstage. But, on top of that, the egos were gone,” Welch told RADIO.COM in a 2019 interview.
Welch was a guest on Machine Head guitarist Robb Flynn’s podcast No F****n’ Regrets and was asked if he felt religion had become his “new addiction” after he overcame his drug habit.

“The crazy thing is I had an experience with something from another dimension. And it wasn’t the religion — going to church and being a good boy — it was, like, I felt something come into my house, and I can’t explain it to this day. But I believe that it was Christ doing something in me. So that was real — that was very real,” Welch said. Welch then admitted that he “went too far with it.”

Now here’s the thing – religion can be addicting and it can also be really addicting. I mean have you seen the kinds of shows that some churches have been putting on? My GAWD, boys and girls some of those shows are just absolute spectacles. Especially if you go to a megachurch the size of a stadium! And I can’t help but be too alarmed when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla! But it works both ways, don’t you know?

Christian Orthodox worshipers hold candles lit from a flame that emerged from the tomb believed to be of Jesus Christ as they take part in the ceremony of the holy fire at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher on April 19, 2014, in Jerusalem, Israel. (Photo: Ilia Yefimovich/Getty Images)

Although he quit believing in God as a teenager, 50-year-old Brandon Osborn feared hell and damnation until he was 35. Raised in the “holiness movement” branch of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints after escaping his mother’s abusive home, Osborn finds addiction and recovery fitting symbols for his experience.

“I consider religion to be an imposed addiction — no different than holding a baby and shooting it up with small doses of heroin, increasing the doses as the baby grows,” he says. “Religion is as poisonous and as attractive, to many, as heroin — Karl Marx said it right, ‘Religion is the opiate of the masses.’ I’m still recovering from it. Part of my recovery is helping others get free.”

Can you really become addicted to religion? Well, the risk of any activity or substance becoming an addiction depends in part on the characteristics of the substance or activity, and, in part — some experts believe most significantly — on the characteristics of the situation and user.

But in fact, my fair virtual congregation, there can be hope! Let’s ask someone who is still involved with extreme religion. That man is Phil Vischer, who is the creator of the popular children’s series about talking vegetables called “Veggietales”, which you might remember from seeing a cross promotion at your local Chik-Fil-A. But I do agree with his wording, calling religion a “hot mess”. I mean have you seen preachers lately? It’s insane!

Phil Vischer was driving home from his studio and listening to NPR when he had another of his big ideas.

Vischer, the creator of “VeggieTales,” the animated series in which produce-aisle items act out Bible stories, says he often talks back to NPR’s stories — with his characteristic wisecracks, of course, but also with probing questions when he feels the reporter missed something.

“I was having some really interesting conversations with myself in my car,” said Vischer, the voice of “VeggieTales” host Bob the Tomato. “And then one day, I wondered if anyone else would like to listen in to these conversations?”

The answer, it turns out, is yes.

Since 2012, Vischer has recorded more than 440 episodes of the “Holy Post,” a weekly podcast that he co-hosts with his friend, Christian author and speaker Skye Jethani. The show has also spawned videos about race, politics and the history of the evangelical movement, drawing millions of views.

Well I think the thing we’ve learned today is that religion can be addicting, but don’t treat it like an addiction and take things too far. Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Aw, It’s Not So Bad
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Guys, let’s have a talk, man on man. OK that’s probably poor phrasing. But here’s the thing – if you feel threatened by Cardi B’s WAP performance at the Grammys, which was really just a live lesbian sex show set to music, then I guess you wouldn’t mind if I took a look at your Porn Hub searches would you? You know, it’s not so bad! At least that’s what we think. But if you turned on the Fox News outrage machine, you’d think that the shit would hit the morality fan. You know what? Art is art! Cardi B’s performance is really art. Sure, it’s art you find offensive, but let’s face it, people getting outraged about art is a thing going all the way back to when the fucking Sistine Chapel was constructed! And you know the most preserved parts of that are? The ones that were covered up. True story! OK getting off topic here. My favorite part of this misdirected outrage so far has to come from Jon Cooper, the far right lead singer of Christian rock band Skillet. Who by the way - did you know that he has his own podcast? And it's quite literally the stuff of pure insanity.

Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion's outrageous and suggestive performance of the sex-positive hit "WAP" at the Grammys Sunday received plenty of praise — and plenty of outrage.

One of the most vocal critics was a past Grammy nominee himself: John Cooper, the singer and bassist for the Kenosha-based Christian rock band Skillet. And in his criticism, Cooper brought up Adolf Hitler to try to make a point.

"We're living in a world right now where there are certain Dr. Seuss books that you cannot sell on eBay," Cooper said on his "Cooper Stuff" video podcast Wednesday, as first reported by hard rock news site Blabbermouth. "But you can, and must, applaud the sexual degradation of Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion simulating sex together on the Grammys. ... In fact, if you don't celebrate it, then you're actually a bad person, and you kind of, like, don't love people."

To make his case, Cooper read chapter 5, verse 20 of the book of Isaiah in the Bible, reading, "'Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil.'"

"Every dictator in history says that what they were doing was good," Cooper said. "If you go back and you read some of Hitler's speeches, he's like, 'I'm gonna set people free — free from the bondage of the Ten Commandments.' In his mind, he's a liberator. It's always like that you guys. All you do is you just redefine evil and you redefine good. That's what's happening right now on the Grammys."

Oh sure, it starts out innocently enough – two attractive female singers have a sexually suggestive performance of a song about vaginas at a major award show, next they’re taking over Europe, invading Poland, and killing 6 million people! Makes sense! Ah come on, Jon, it’s not so bad. As if that wasn’t enough, Tucker Carlson had to chime in. Seriously they’re getting into “won’t somebody think of the children” territory, aren’t they?

On Monday night, conservative snowflake Tucker Carlson threw his latest hissy fit about Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s No. 1 hit, “WAP”, claiming their Grammys performance was proof that “they’re intentionally trying to degrade our culture and hurt our children.” Despite being so outraged about the display, the Tucker Carlson Tonight host continued to play the performance in the background and nearly showed the entire thing.

The Daily Beast captured the segment, in which Carlson started disingenuously ranting about the “culture vandals” reexamining the racist and misogynist tones of Dr. Seuss, Disney, and Looney Tunes characters. He then aired “the only portion we can play you,” a statement he went back on shortly afterward.

“No more Dumbo, it’s too filthy. We get that instead,” he said, before turning to conservative commentator Candace Owens for a performative outrage session. “It is hard not to conclude that they are actively trying to degrade our culture and hurt our children.”

Owens continued by bringing up the Mr. Potato Head rebranding controversy and the loss of Aunt Jemima and Uncle Ben, before calling Cardi and Megan’s performance “a lesbian sex scene being simulated on television.” She added, “We are celebrating perversity in America.”

Aw come on Candace, it’s not so bad! Stop trying to find outrage where there isn’t any. If you want to find perversion in America, how about looking at our former president? Yeah I thought so! You can’t be a fan of a guy who committed some unbelievable sex atrocities, then be outraged at Cardi B’s performance, you can’t have it both ways! I mean come on after we had four years of Trump, there is nothing you can say or do that would get me outraged about this kind of stuff. Or can there?

Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion performed their mammoth hit 'WAP' live for the first time at the 2021 Grammy Awards and triggered outrage from some viewers.

The chart-topping track, already infamous for its extremely graphic sexual lyrics, has been heralded by some as an anthem of female empowerment and condemned by conservative commentators.

The much-anticipated performance saw the artists twerk, pole dance and grind their way across an elaborate set before they met on a giant bed for a choreographed sequence together.

Viewers were divided - with fans of the rappers delighting in seeing the song on stage for the first time, while others dubbed the performance "disgusting, vulgar and overly sexualised".

"They saved the Grammys," one Twitter user wrote, while others called the "incredible" performance the best of the night.

"I'm so glad she performed this live," another tweet read. "I was wondering if she was ever going to get to!"

Yeah when will Cardi B ever get to perform WAP live? And come on let’s face it – the Grammys are fucking boring! Especially in 2021 when it’s a damn Zoom call! Remember that scene in the Naked Gun when the professor is giving a lecture on renewable energy and the entire crowd is asleep, then he wakes them by reading softcore porn? Yeah this is kind of like that! If you saw this and are still complaining about it a week later, hand in your man card! Come on, it’s not so bad!

Cardi B however, fought fire with fire, threatening to sue Owens for suggesting that she or her team photoshopped the tweet - the spat devolved into a mess of threatened lawsuits and playground insults (not that it was ever a particularly sophisticated debate to begin with).

I’m not sure what Cardi B was thinking when she attacked Owens with the photoshopped tweet; even if the tweet was legitimate, responding to Owens’ pathological prudishness by mocking her sex life seems a tad hypocritical - it goes directly against WAP’s theme of sexual liberation.

Plus, it’s not like there’s a shortage of material in which to mock Candace Owens.

Cardi B might have been better off accusing Owens of being a cynical huckster, using performative outrage to market her distinctive brand of regressive, self-loathing conservatism.

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[font size="8"]People Who Somehow Got Elected: Paul Gosar
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Politicians at the state and local levels who are so toxic, you wonder how they’re able to get away with the things they get away with. This is:

This week – Paul Gosar. He’s a Congressional representative from Arizona’s 4th district. This includes the city of Prescott, where many of Arizona’s elite reside. So you know what that says about Arizona’s elite, and there might be a bit of racism in this state. And Paul Gosar is helping to fuel some of the more insane theories about American racism. So much in fact that he appeared at a rally for a white nationalist who actually celebrated the takeover of the US Capitol on January 6th. That’s right – people actually celebrated this, while the entire world was horrified. This is what one might call “sociopathic behavior”. And in fact Paul Gosar is not only aiding and abetting extremists, he’s also participating among them.

Republican congressman Paul Gosar appeared at a white nationalist political conference before attending the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), according to reports.

The Arizona Republican appeared on-stage at the "America First Political Action Conference" (AFPAC) on Friday, following the far-right conference’s founder, Nicholas Fuentes.

Mr Fuentes, an alleged white nationalist, said on Friday that the Capitol riot – in which five people died – was “awesome”, and that "white people are done being bullied".

The AFPAC founder went on to add that if the country "loses its white demographic core, then this is not America anymore”.

Mr Fuentes also mocked Republican congressman Madison Cawthorn, who uses a wheelchair, for not “standing up”, after he spoke at the mainstream conservative conference, CPAC, also taking place in Florida. The speeches were shared in videos to Twitter.

And in case you’re wondering if this gets worse, oh boy does this get worse! In fact his own siblings say that he’s a raging white supremacist. Here’s the thing maybe you should, we don’t know, maybe live your life in such a way that your own siblings don’t call you out for your racism. In fact he’s such a racist that the people of Arizona’s fourth district have launched a campaign to have the representative removed from power, similar to the way that Georgia’s Marjorie Taylor Greene could be expelled.

Three siblings of Rep. Paul Gosar, R-Ariz., have renewed their push to remove their brother from Congress, accusing him of being a white supremacist following his speech last month at a conference hosted by a notorious white nationalist.

Gosar, who allegedly helped organize the "Stop the Steal" rally that preceded the Jan. 6 Capitol riot, skipped a late February House vote on the $1.9 trillion coronavirus relief bill to headline the America First Political Action Conference organized by right-wing extremist Nick Fuentes. Fuentes gained prominence in the deadly 2017 Charlottesville white nationalist march and was later banned by YouTube for violating its hate speech rules. At the February conference, he lamented that America was losing its "white demographic core," and praised the Capitol riot as "awesome" after previously musing about murdering lawmakers.

A day later, during an appearance at the Conservative Political Action Conference in Florida, Gosar interrupted a panel discussion, seemingly to distance himself from Fuentes' comments.

"I denounce when we talk about white racism. That's not appropriate," he said at the event, later telling the Washington Post that he was referring to Fuentes' remarks.

Gosar's siblings, who launched campaigns to defeat him in 2018 and 2020, rejected his feeble attempt to distance himself from Fuentes, who Gosar met with again after the CPAC event. ..................(more)


Well maybe more than a little. In fact he’s so extreme that he’s too extreme for the Trump administration’s favorite scheming conniver Ali Alexander, the guy who organized those “Stop The Steal” rallies. When caught at the Captiol Riot, Mr. Alexander pulled more than a few name drops when he outed who his contacts were. One such representative on his hit list? That’s right – our subject in question, Paul Gosar.

Man Who Organized 'Stop The Steal' Rally Says Three Congressmen Helped Him Plan It

New Day's John Berman introduced the shocking story (okay, not that shocking, considering the people involved) that the organizer of the Washington sedition rally says he had help from several Republican members of Congress.

"Congressman Mo Brooks of Alabama already facing calls for censure, John. But as the Department of Justice announces, it's looking for instigators of what happened. These three congressmen could be in much worse trouble than just a censure. The siege on the Capitol started with a protest just like dozens of Stop The Steal rallies across the country since the election," CNN correspondent Drew Griffin reported.

"And one of the main organizers, extreme right-winger Ali Alexander, who says he was getting help from three members of Congress."

I'm the guy who came up with the idea of January 6th, when I was talking with Congressman Gosar, Congressman Andy Biggs, and Congressman Mo Brooks.
"That's right. Alexander says these three members of Congress actually helped plan the rally. Paul Gosar, Andy Biggs, and Mo Brooks.


Except he really isn’t. But he’s still a terrible person. But Paul Gosar isn’t the only extremist in the GOP’s Congressional ranks. This is also a party where representatives like Lauren Boebert, Louis Gohmert, Steve King, and Marjorie Taylor Greene reside. So how does one root out extremists in the party? Well part of this is admitting that the problem exists. At least it will be a start for trying to get these people out of our government.

The House GOP’s No. 3 leader recently urged Republicans to make clear they’re not the party of white supremacy. Two days later, one of their members spoke at a conference organized by a known white nationalist.

The whiplash between Rep. Liz Cheney’s (R-Wyo.) plea and Rep. Paul Gosar’s (R-Ariz.) public speech underscores just how tough it is for GOP leaders to rein in members who cater to the extreme wings of the party. As Republicans increasingly grapple with how — or even whether — to exorcise the most radical elements from their party, their leaders’ jobs won’t get any easier.

The House GOP has so far confronted no large-scale blowback from Gosar’s speech to the America First Political Action Conference, or from other incidents that link a few of its members to far-right imagery or rhetoric.

But some fear that if the conference — which just ushered in a historically diverse freshman class — doesn’t stomp out those political brush fires now, there’s a risk they will spread and engulf the party. Democrats are already trying to make QAnon, the far-reaching conspiracy theory labeled as a domestic terrorism threat by the FBI, the face of the GOP ahead of the midterms.

That’s Arizona’s openly racist representative Paul Gosar. Yet another politician who inexplicably joins the ever-growing ranks of:

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb: All Florida Edition
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Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people and people are dumb. And occasionally we like to check in with the Sunshine State, the great state of Florida, because they always have ridiculously stupid and crazy people, and we love them for that. And most of our articles in this come from the Twitter account @Floridaman_ account as well as other sources that pop up from time to time. I want to start with this story out of Boca Raton. So here’s the thing – you just bought a house. I get it, you have no money to buy anything else. But seriously take out a credit card or do something, just don’t get caught stealing! Yeah I know, cue Jane’s Addiction!

The owner of a $960,000 home in the Lotus development near Lyons and Clint Moore is accused of shoplifting nearly $1000 worth of lighting from Home Depot in West Boca Raton.

Karen Berger, 44, who is identified in a Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office report as a teacher, was jailed Thursday after Home Depot opted to prosecute the case.

According to police, “Karen Berger was seen entering the Home Depot through the main entrance. The subject then proceeded to the store’s lighting fixtures department and selected two Swirl LED Chrome Mini valued at $99.97 each, one Keighley 36” LED Crystal Island valued at $219, one Essence Disk LED Integrated Chrome valued at $109. Then, Berger proceeded towards the front of the store where she went to aisle 8 and selected three moving boxes valued at $2.68 each. Then she proceeded out of aisle 8 and towards to self check out.”

The police report continues: “While in the self check out Berger scanned the three moving boxes valued at $8.04 total, and two Swirl LED Chrome Mini Pendant valued at $199.94 for both making a total purchase of $207.98. Berger did not attempt to scan and pay for the other lighting fixtures that were inside her shopping cart, depriving Home Depot of the amount of $756.”

Next up – OK this guy gets the award for greatest teacher ever. OK not really. Man in high school all I got was anti-drug lectures telling us why we shouldn’t smoke weed. Even weirder is that his wife is also a teacher and a stoner! You know what they say – the family that smokes together stays together! At least one can only hope. Just don’t put yourself in a situation where you can get arrested.

Two Florida high school teachers faced a judge for the first time Friday after being arrested for allegedly allowing multiple students to come over to their house and smoke marijuana.

James Brand and Amy O’Reilly-Brand are both charged with child neglect and contributing to the delinquency of a child, NBC affiliate WESH reports.

According to court records, the couple, both teachers at Viera High School, allowed students to come over to their house and smoke marijuana on multiple occasions since last summer.

The records state that several high school students told deputies they had smoked marijuana at the house and some said the pair supplied the marijuana themselves and smoked it with them.

The couple is also accused of allowing a man to live in their home and have a sexual relationship with a girl under the age of 18, according to WESH.

Next up: This story has everything! We go to the city of Leigh Acres for this one. No don’t cue the Green Acres theme song for this one. But here’s the thing – if you’re caught naked jumping on a trampoline maybe don’t enter the house unclothed. We’re just saying. And there might be a reason as to why Florida is often referred to as the “penis of America”. Or as Homer Simpson has famously called it, “America’s wang”.

A Florida man is accused of jumping on a neighbor’s trampoline while naked and later breaking into her home while still unclothed, authorities said.

Adrian Lee Gonzalez-Bradway, 21, was arrested Wednesday and charged with burglary and criminal mischief with property damage of more than $200, according to the Lee County Sheriff’s Office’s online booking records.

No bail has been set.

According to the sheriff’s office, Gonzalez-Bradway showed up naked at his neighbor’s home in Lehigh Acres on Tuesday afternoon and began tapping on her door, WBBH reported.

The resident asked Gonzalez-Bradway if he needed assistance, but he did not respond, the television station reported. Thirty minutes later, the woman said she saw Gonzalez-Bradway jumping on her family’s trampoline while still naked. ..........(more)


Next up: If you’re going to hide from the authorities, maybe don’t do it in a place where you could easily be found. So this guy went and hid… in a dryer. That’s right – a dryer. And I’m sure there’s probably about a million puns I could make for this one, but let’s cue the Radiohead song and say that he’s quite literally high and dry. Ha, bet you didn’t see that one coming, did you?

Deputies say they were searching for a Florida man wanted for violating probation and when they found him to make the arrest, he was inside a clothes dryer.

The Lake County Sheriff's Office said that the incident happened in Umatilla. Deputies went looking for 33-year-old Michael Brook to serve two warrants for violation of probation.

They said that as deputies searched a home for him, they found him inside a clothes dryer.

"We guess he thought he was 'high and dry,'" the Sheriff's Office wrote on Facebook. "Luckily, he didn't go for a tumble."

Finally this week we have to talk about this story, and we may have to do an entire People Are Dumb just dedicated to this one story. But this has everything and I can’t say that enough. This guy found a double, literally stole an election, and then got caught. I cannot wait to see a movie made about this because I’m sure it will be magical. Too bad Fred Willard isn’t alive anymore to play that role, because he’d be a perfect sleazebag.

The details surrounding a political whodunit involving a former Miami GOP state senator, a mysterious no-party candidate and an alleged scheme to sway the outcome of a key Florida Senate race came pouring out Thursday in a 25-page affidavit.

The alleged campaign chicanery involved early morning Facebook messages, incriminating text messages and, at the heart of it all, tens of thousands of dollars in documented payments in exchange for a ringer candidate to get his name on the ballot.

Frank Artiles, a Republican political operative, is at the center of the drama. He is facing felony charges on suspicion of offering Alexis “Alex” Rodriguez $50,000 to run as an independent in Miami-Dade’s Senate District 37 race. The goal, investigators say, was to “confuse voters and influence the outcome” of the race to represent Senate District 37, a large swath that includes downtown Miami, Coral Gables and Pinecrest.

The race pitted former TV personality Ileana Garcia, a Republican, against incumbent José Javier Rodríguez, a Democrat. Alex Rodriguez, an auto-parts dealer who shares the same surname as the incumbent, ran as an independent. Investigators said Artiles recruited him to “siphon votes from the incumbent,” José Javier Rodríguez, who lost by a mere 32 votes after a manual recount. Alex Rodriguez, who did no campaigning, received more than 6,000 votes.

That’s it this week for People Are Dumb!

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[font size="8"]Stupidest State Round 1 Week 2
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16 states will enter and only one state will become the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Welcome back! The competition is heating up once again! Last week we had a great first round showdown as Michigan routed hot newcomer South Dakota to advance to the Elite 8, while over in the Family Values Conference, Indiana’s last minute buzzer beater knocked off Ohio to advance in the Flyover League! This week it’s a battle of the #3s and #4s as this week Fiscal Irresponsibility heavyweights Nevada and Iowa go for broke, while over in the Gun Nut Conference, it’s an inter-state rivalry as #3 Oregon brings their big guns to the dance against #4 Idaho!

[font size="4"]Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference Round 1: Nevada Vs Iowa [/font]

[font size="2"]Nevada [/font]

Gambling rules the Silver State, whether your vice is Caesar’s on the North side of the Las Vegas Strip, or MGM on the South side of the Strip. Or maybe your vice is the Golden Nugget over in the carefree realm of Freemont St. Or Harrah’s in Laughlin. Or Sands in Reno. But there’s also more to the Silver State than gambling. 2020 brought some big challenges to Nevada especially if you don’t count the socially distanced homeless people sleeping in the parking lot of your favorite casino.

Anyone familiar with Nevada’s regional economies can see parallels between Nevada’s workforce concentration and the K distribution. In recent years, Northern Nevada has become a satellite Silicon Valley of sorts, bringing a tech presence to the valley. Employees can perform these jobs from home, and market demand for them remains high despite the pandemic. Meanwhile, Southern Nevada is the global epicenter of the leisure and hospitality industry. Employees in this sector are dependent upon face-to-face exchange with customers and have faced significant hardship and uncertainty during the pandemic, while receiving little to no compensation.

A snapshot of the whole state shows Northern Nevada on the upper half of the K distribution and Southern Nevada on the lower half of the distribution.

The data bear out a Nevadan K-shaped recovery, with a drastic chasm in unemployment rates between Reno and Las Vegas. In March, at the beginning of the pandemic, the unemployment rate in Las Vegas was only 1.7 percent above that of Reno, but by April the difference exploded, with unemployment in Las Vegas ballooning to 34.2 percent — a 13.7 percent larger unemployment rate than Reno in the same period. Since June, the difference has stabilized, with Las Vegas unemployment resting about 8 percent higher than that of Reno. These percentages, however, still obscure part of the story. Due to Las Vegas’s much larger population, there are many more people unemployed there. As of October, there were 111,600 more people unemployed than the same point in the prior year; this equates to four in ten workers within the entire hospitality industry being unemployed. Compare this to 15,000 more people unemployed than the same time last year for Reno; roughly the amount of employees at Caesars Palace. The northern half of the state is well on its way to recovery, buttressed by a pre-pandemic investment of two-third’s of state economic development assets in that region, while Southern Nevada struggles to regain its economic footing and restore its economy.

Read more: https://www.nevadacurrent.com/2020/12/23/not-an-l-not-a-v-not-a-nike-swoosh-nevadas-k-shaped-recovery/

Yeah so COVID ripped the Silver State a new asshole and it’s going to take a lot of time, patience, and of course money to recover. Especially when your state’s main source of revenue is gambling, tourism, and the concert industry. And by the way in case you’re wondering just how evil Nevada’s state government is, they recently signed a bill that totally fucked over Nevada’s homeless teenagers. This is a stunning, jaw-dropping level of evil!

Tayvon Jenkins, a youth ambassador with the Nevada Partnership for Homeless Youth, said minors experiencing homelessness were turned away from Covid testing during the health pandemic.

It’s not the only example lawmakers were given Wednesday about how Nevada law puts barriers in front of youth seeking health care.

Pamela Girgis, a pediatric nurse practitioner who works with homeless youth and refugee children, says many of the children she encounters are unable to fully access health care due to the state’s restrictions.

“We recently had a homeless youth with uncontrolled diabetes in desperate need of a referral to endocrinology for an insulin pump,” she said. “Because of this rule, care was delayed, which resulted in multiple hospitalization for this youth risking his life and resulting in him missing work and losing his job setting him further back.”

Read more: https://www.nevadacurrent.com/blog/lawmakers-address-barriers-faced-by-homeless-youth-seeking-medical-care/

[font size="2"]Iowa [/font]

The Cornhusker State is back and they are tanned, rested and ready to go! The home of such extremely evil elected representatives as racist Steve King, Charles Grassley, and Jodi Ernst is no stranger to the excessive greed brought on by America’s farmers and meat packing industry. In fact if you want to see greed in action, look no further than Iowa’s education system, where public schools are being fucked over by anti-government republicans in favor of private schools. That’s right – they want to take over your right to attend a public school.

Proposals to give taxpayer-funded scholarships to help some students attend private schools and to rewrite the rules for forming charter schools are advancing in the Iowa House after weeks of inaction.

The proposals are part of Republican Gov. Kim Reynolds' broad education agenda this year, but House lawmakers are considering them as separate pieces of legislation. Both bills advanced through subcommittee hearings on Tuesday, making them eligible for consideration by the full House Education Committee.

Reynolds' full proposal, Senate File 159, passed the Senate in late January. It would give some students taxpayer-funded scholarships to attend private schools, ease rules for creating new charter schools, expand some tax credits and make it easier for students to transfer between districts.

And by the way, expect Iowa to show up in future Stupidest State contests because if you think you’ve seen the last of Iowa’s right – strap in! because it’s about to get that much worse for the Cornhusker State! And I mean come on, Charles Grassley is 90 years old, there’s no way he could last another term so get ready for Iowa to nominate a Josh Hawley type to the Senate, and yeah it’s gonna suck!

Republicans steering our ship of state are taking a hard bank to the right ahead of the 2022 midterm elections, and all Democrats can do is stand by and watch.

GOP legislators controlling the statehouse are advancing bills to amend the state constitution in hopes of overturning Roe v. Wade, to allow school vouchers, to reinstate the death penalty, to bar Regents universities from spending outside funding without state approval, and so on. It almost goes without saying that taxes will be cut at a time when a pandemic cries for public resources.

The November elections clearly gave Republicans a mandate to do as they wish. History indicates that the GOP should make a big comeback in congressional and legislative races following the election of a Democratic president. This hard-right legislative agenda rewards the base and solidifies it.

Abby Finkenauer lost her seat in Congress from Dubuque after just one term. Rita Hart is still counting votes from her defeat to Mariannette Miller-Meeks for the congressional seat out of Iowa City. Scholten is thinking about writing a book or doing a podcast. Is he that next Dick Clark or Harold Hughes? Rob Sand isn’t, so far. Is Chris Hall or Mike Franken? Or is Iowa so fundamentally different now, radically so, that nobody can be?


[font size="4"]And The Winner Is: [/font]

Not even close! Nevada utterly destroys Iowa to move onto the Elite 8! This time the Silver State routes the Cornhuskers by a score of 25, easily defeating them. Final score: 107 – 82!

[font size="4"]Gun Nut Conference Round 1: Oregon Vs Idaho [/font]

[font size="2"]Oregon [/font]

The Beaver State is a frequent contributor to the Gun Nut Conference. Now you might be thinking – hey wait a minute! Oregon is a blue state! That they may be appearing to be on the outside! But on the inside they are about as red as you can get. Sure, they may be home to the liberal utopia that is the city of Portland, but downtown Portland has become a breeding ground for weekly cage matches between the Proud Boys and Antifa! And by the way, in case you’re wondering – why yes, Oregon’s gun sales skyrocketed in the last year, which is really not that surprising considering what happened in the shittiest year ever.

While Guntraders in Redmond sells mostly collectible guns, owner Jerry Koch said that isn’t stopping customers from flocking to his shop in search of a firearm. They’re coming out of fear, Koch said. Customers are fearful of the protests they’ve seen on television, in Portland and across the country.

“I pray for America,” Koch said. “At the start of the pandemic, they came in and we were busy. They were scared then, too. But once the riots started, they started climbing again.”

The pandemic and protests have made 2020 a banner year for gun sales in Oregon, according to the National Instant Criminal Background Check System, which tracks criminal background checks of gun applicants.

Gun sales are not tracked, but the background checks required for most gun sales are. Still, not every background check results in a gun sale, and some sales are made without going through background checks. For example, guns sold between family members do not require a background check, according to federal guidelines.

And if you’re wondering about Oregon’s gun chops, well they’ve got you covered. It’s one of the few states that not only allows open carry of weapons, it allows you to carry them in public buildings! Gee, what could go wrong there? Mass shootings are on the rise once again, so yeah it’s sadly only a matter of time before someone does something stupid.

In Oregon, guns are not allowed in public buildings — unless you have a concealed handgun license.

People with a concealed carry permit are exempt from the rule. “It’s called an affirmative defense,” said State Sen. Ginny Burdick. “But it functions as an exemption.”

Burdick said it’s time to do away with that exemption or at least give local authorities the option to do so. That’s why she’s a chief sponsor of Senate Bill 554.

If passed, the bill would do away with the concealed carry exemption in state buildings and the Capitol. But other local buildings and local governments will be able to make their own decisions.

[font size="2"]Idaho [/font]

The Gem State has a strong following in the Gun Nut Conference and last year they bowed out quietly but are back for more! And in case you’re wondering about Idaho’s gun chops they have them, and they are not afraid to use them. Especially if you count Northern Idaho – which not only has hardcore gun nuts, they also have hardcore racism. And this might be one of my favorite stories to come out in quite a while. So some new countries might get added to the Powerball, which would further hinder your chances of winning. But Idaho? They don’t want anything to do with this for an absolutely ridiculous and really not that shocking reason.

Idaho lawmakers fearing foreign participation in the Powerball lottery killed legislation on Wednesday that would have allowed the game with huge jackpots to continue in the state after a run of more than 30 years.

The move came after Idaho Lottery officials sought a change in state law because Powerball is expanding to include Australia in 2021 and Britain in 2022. But current Idaho law only allows lotteries in the state played by people in the U.S. and Canada.

Idaho's Legislature is dominated by Republicans, but objections to the change also emerged from Democrats. The killing of the bill by a voice vote of the Legislature's House State Affairs Committee means that the state's last Powerball drawing will be in August.

Republican Rep. Heather Scott worried that when Australia joins Powerball, the country's officials might use revenue generated for government coffers to back causes she opposes.

Scott expressed concern that could happen “in Australia anti-gun causes, which they see as good and we see as not good.”

And in case you’re wondering – Idaho has one of the highest concentrations of guns in the entire country, and with the recent uptick in mass shootings, guns aren’t going anywhere. Yes, the people of the Gem State love their guns and they love the NRA lifestyle. Oh and did I mention Idaho is the home of our favorite bird lover, Ammon Bundy? Yeah there’s that. But don’t expect Idaho to lay down their arms anytime soon.

Idaho is well-known for its mountains, forests, lakes and guns.

Recent data suggests Idaho has the third highest percentage of gun ownership (56.9 percent) in the nation, trailing only Alaska (61.7 percent) and Arkansas (57.9).

By comparison, Delaware — The First State — boasts just 5.2 percent gun ownership.

Any expression supporting the Second Amendment in the Gem State is bound to be met with a standing ovation, if not a 20,000-gun salute. The people who live here, whether they own guns or not, understand how important that right is to Idahoans. If not, here’s a quick reminder.

Since July 1, 2019, state law allows citizens 18 and older to carry a concealed firearm statewide without a permit. Open carry is legal within city limits, and permitless carry is legal outside city limits.

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is: [/font]

Here we go into overtime folks! The score was tied 92 – 92 at the end of regulation play. Idaho has the ball… they score! Oh man, 5 minutes and 15 points later, Idaho sinks Oregon and they move onto their first Elite 8! It’s gonna be exciting folks!

[font size="4"]Next week: [/font]

The reigning kings of the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference go for broke as #1 Kansas takes on #2 Wyoming, this is going to be a good one! Meanwhile, over in the Gun Nut Conference #1 Florida takes on #2 Texas! The Elite 8 is shaping folks!

See you next week!


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