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Thu Jan 7, 2021, 05:45 PM

Top 10 Conservative Idiots Best Of #13: A New Year Begins Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots Best Of #13: A New Year Begins Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Of course we’re still coming at you from this blank void in the green room of a comedy club in Burbank. But we made it everybody!!! The worst year in history is finally over and now a whole new era of misery begins! Wait, did I say misery? I meant super fun happy times! Of course! We have to be optimistic about the fourth coming year. Of course this is normally when I would announce the schedule for the new season, but since we’re still stuck in Burbank for the foreseeable future with no music, tomfoolery or fun of any kind until the virus is over, we have this fun blue background for you to enjoy. I mean look at it!!! It’s blue!!! Of course we’re still fiddling with the green screen feature and trying not to look like the Ghost from Ant-Man and the Wasp, but we will try and bring you the fresh A/V content that you all know and love with some canned audience laughter too. That said, is Biden still going to be inaugurated on January 20th? Are we sure of that? OK good because right now we are living day to day. Which is why we are going to keep an eye on it and we are still planning our Goodbye To The Trump administration special edition on January 13th. But that said, we also are planning to debut a whole mess of new content for you in the new year and then I’m really looking forward to our planned Season 11 feature – “Red State Diaries”. That’s right – we are going to go through all of the states that voted for Trump and find out why they are so red. OK enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first, I have to play John Oliver’s segment where he blew up 2020 in the most John Oliver way possible:

OK where do we begin this week? It’s another viewer mail bag where we reach in and answer your burning questions! In the #1 slot this week, from Idiots #3-7, of all the stupid people Trump has put forth in his administration, arguably one of the dumbest has been his own son, Donald Trump Jr (1) and you won’t believe the reason why! In the second slot this week, from Idiots #4-3, remember when Donald Trump (2) had that insane scandal break with Stormy Daniels that revealed way too much information about what goes on in Trump’s bedroom? Yeah well here it is again! Taking the #3 slot this week, from Idiots #9-2, Florida Man Matt Gaetz has a Twitter beef with Sons Of Anarchy star Ron Pearlman, and well, it doesn't go over very well and makes Matt Gaetz look like one of the dumbest people who's ever been elected! In the 4th slot this week, from Idiots #4-11, why did NRA TV (4) take a quote from Run The Jewels’ Killer Mike out of context? Well it seems like the sort of thing they would do. Taking the 5th slot this week, from Idiots #5-20, in our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, we take a look at Trump’s controversial plan to bring Foxconn to Wisconsin, and let’s just say that they got “Art Of The Deal’d”. Taking the #6 seed this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit”, and from Idiots #6-17, with all the fighting going on in Oregon, our resident pastor is going to introduce you to the alt right fight club known as “Patriot Prayer” and these guys are a real group of winners (sarcasm)! Taking the #7 slot this week, from Idiots #6-7, our pop culture segment “Beating A Dead Horse” – conservatives, you’re lame! Be lame and own your unrelenting lameness! Taking the #8 slot this week, from Idiots #6-8, is Roseanne Barr (8) and we ask the question – “How is Roseanne Barr’s career still a thing?”. And the answer will (maybe not) shock you! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week we have an I Need A Drink, from Idiots #7-13. Remember the insanity last year when people wanted to storm the gates of the Roswell AFB and see them aliens? Yeah we got way too drunk to remember that. Finally, from Idiots #7-17, our segment on the campaign trail, Keeping Up With The Candidates, takes a look at Beto O’Rourke’s (10) controversial gun buy back program. Plus from back when we could have live performances, one of my favorite new bands to break in the last years has been Mongolia’s The Hu, and we have a live performance from them! Enjoy! And as always don't forget the [link:http://www.democraticunderground.com/top10/key.html }key]!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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From: Idiots #3-7

Melinda K. from Provo, Utah writes:

“Hey Top 10, I am a huge fan! I can’t wait to see the end of the Trump administration and particularly his disgusting family. Only 14 more days!”

Yes, Melinda, and we can’t wait, either! Especially when Jared Kushner has been known to take sprawling apartment complexes and turn them into rat infested shit holes in a single inspection!’

Come on everybody say it with me. It’s time for the WHEEL OF CORRUPTION!!!! Yayyyyyyyyy!!!

The wheel is back everybody! And of course if we had a bigger budget we’d have our own graphics and theme music. Yes just like last time I’ll talk about whatever the wheel lands on. But remember that if it lands on the Guacamole option that it costs $1.50 extra. So this week the items on the wheel will be:

- Go Directly To Jail
- Clip Without Context
- Guacamole
- 5,000
- Fundies Say The Darndest Things
- Whammy
- Community Chest
- Bankrupt
- Voter Fraud
- Nazis
- Booze
- Chance
- Loser
- Buy A Vowel
- Donald Trump
- My Wife
- Treason
- Bathrooms
- Double Whammy
- A Recent Study
- Guns
- World Tour 2017
- Music
- Twitter
- Whammy
- I Need A Drink
- People Who Somehow Got Elected
- Pirates
- 10,000
- How Is This Still A Thing?
- Talk Shows
- California
- Golf
- Twitter
- Fox News
- 15,000
- Polls
- This F**king Guy
- A Random Tweet
- Conspiracy Theories
- Russia
- Something random in the news
- Pirates!!
- ??? (Mystery)
- T-Shirt Cannon
- You’re Fired
- Florida (Obviously)
- Infowars
- Lightning Round
- Bonus Spin

Let’s get this going! Spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop!!! Infowars! Shit do I really have to talk about Infowars? It’s just a funny clip? Got it.

Spin it again! And it lands on Donald Trump. Yes, President Trump. two words that just plain do not go together. Like Nutella bologna. Or Fly Spirit! So we start this week from the “oh look, he’s tweeting again” department. Man he’s been on a rampage. I guess he’s eaten a lot of heavy foods with extra scoops of ice cream and had too many late night outings with the porcelain gods. So here’s what he said this week:

Because Hillary’s not the president, Donnie! You are! So what could he possibly be distracting us from this week:

(CNN) Jared Kushner, the President's son-in-law and senior adviser, said in a statement Monday to the Senate and House intelligence committees that he had no additional contacts with individuals who were or may have been Russian government representatives, beyond those that have already been publicly disclosed.

In an 11-page statement released Monday ahead of his closed-door interview with Senate intelligence committee staff, Kushner offers his first public accounting of what he says are his four meetings with Russians during the 2016 campaign and transition, offering previously undisclosed details of those meetings. Kushner insists in the letter that he discussed nothing improper during those meetings, which include two encounters with the Russian ambassador in Washington, a meeting with the head of a Russian state-owned bank and the June 2016 meeting with a Russian lawyer and others that was set up by Kushner's brother-in-law, Donald Trump Jr.

"I did not collude, nor know of anyone else in the campaign who colluded, with any foreign government," Kushner says in the statement. "I had no improper contacts. I have not relied on Russian funds to finance my business activities in the private sector. I have tried to be fully transparent with regard to the filing of my SF-86 form, above and beyond what is required. Hopefully, this puts these matters to rest."

Kushner also disputes a Reuters report claiming he had two phone calls between April and November 2016 with the Russian ambassador, Sergey Kislyak, explaining that he has no recollection of those calls and a "comprehensive review of my land line and cell phone records from the time does not reveal those calls."

Read more: http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/24/politics/jared-kushner-russians-statement/index.html

How many times must we argue here that Jedi Mind Tricks don’t work in real life, Donald? I mean you can keep hiding the truth and supporting the Milford Academy graduate Jared Kushner all you want, but that’s not hiding the fact that we’re on to you! But the Jedi Mind Tricks still continue!

In his first public defense of his meetings with Russian officials during Donald Trump’s campaign and transition, Jared Kushner is presenting his encounters with those operatives as innocent interactions, according to testimony submitted ahead of a high-stakes, closed-door grilling session before the Senate Intelligence Committee on Monday.

In an 11-page opening statement provided to reporters in advance of his 10 a.m. appointment with the panel, which is part of the ongoing investigation into possible collusion between Russian officials and the Trump campaign, Kushner — now a senior White House adviser — attempts to exonerate himself, writing: “I did not collude, nor know of anyone else in the campaign who colluded, with any foreign government.”

Instead, the powerful son-in-law paints a picture of himself as a loyal, overworked, under-experienced senior adviser to his father-in-law during a novice campaign that was never staffed up to win.

I mean so what if Jared Kusher’s meeting was no big deal? And what if Trump had more secret meetings with Putin? Seriously this whole thing is beyond fucked up!

President Donald Trump's just-disclosed hourlong meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin during the G-20 summit — using a Kremlin translator, with no national security staff present — may have damaged U.S. interests, according to some national security experts.

With no other witness or note-taker of the sort normally present on the American side, there's no guarantee that Trump or Putin's words were translated correctly — or that Trump didn't give away more classified information, as he did when top Russian officials came to the White House in May.


You know, Donnie, if you’re under investigation for Russian collusion, you don’t hang out with Putin in secret meetings, do you? You don’t tell the guy trying to lose 100 pounds “go ahead, eat that giant plate of chili cheese fries with a side of mac and cheese”, do you? I mean go ahead, eat the whole thing, it’s right there in front of you!

That’s exactly what this is right now with this whole Russia thing. I mean we’re still not done – where does this go? How deep does this go?

Investigators in Congress have been waiting a long time to talk to Jared Kushner, President Trump's son-in-law and top adviser. They'll get to do so behind closed doors on Monday and Tuesday. According to his prepared statement, Kushner will say he did not do anything wrong.

“I did not collude, nor know of anyone else in the campaign who colluded, with any foreign government,” the testimony, as obtained by The Washington Post's Philip Rucker, reads.

Whether he did anything wrong — or believes he did anything wrong — Kushner remains a central figure in the broader Trump-Russia investigation. Here's why:

And guess what? Oh look he’s tweeting again!

President Donald Trump went off on fellow Republicans in two tweets Sunday afternoon, accusing his party members of doing "very little to protect their President."

"As the phony Russian Witch Hunt continues, two groups are laughing at this excuse for a lost election taking hold, Democrats and Russians!" Trump wrote shortly after 4 p.m. ET.

"It's very sad that Republicans, even some that were carried over the line on my back, do very little to protect their President," he said in a second tweet shortly after.

Trump was at the Trump National Golf Club in Potomac Falls, Virginia, on Sunday but had returned to the White House about an hour before firing off the tweets.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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From: Idiots #4-3

Brandon L. from Baton Rouge, LA writes:

“Why do people keep referencing Super Mario characters when the subject of what Trump does in the bedroom comes up? I don’t get it.”

Well, Brandon, you’re not going to like the answer. And quite frankly, neither do we. In fact, it still gives us nightmares!

Let’s spin the wheel shall we? Wheel goes round, wheel goes round… where it stops, nobody knows! And it lands on… clip without context!

I think someone needs to educate Mr. Trump on how that whole “giving birth” thing works! Spin it again! Donald Trump. Before we get into this one, a disclaimer.

Ugh… do we really have to talk about this one? I had to take a cold shower after talking about it in rehearsals. I’m having a sit in! No, make me! Hey this is my show! Excuse me a minute! Fine, fuck it, but you owe me one, Carlos! Yes, Carlos is our executive producer here. And he’s making me tell the story of Stormy Daniels. Yeah… we know. So here’s what went down.

President Donald Trump allegedly had an adult film star spank him with a Forbes magazine featuring a picture of his face on the cover, according to email correspondence unearthed this week.

Trump's alleged former mistress, Stormy Daniels, made headlines after reports emerged earlier last week that the president's personal attorney Michael Cohen arranged a $130,000 payment to her a month before the 2016 election to keep quiet about a year-long affair with Trump.

Mother Jones uncovered further details regarding the alleged affair in a string of emails on Thursday.

Both Andrea Dubé, a New Orleans-based consultant, and a second anonymous consultant, confirmed to the New York Daily News that the emails are "100%" authentic.

Must come clean! Dirt’s not coming off! Well, on the plus side, millions of guys everywhere are now relieved that they can search for Stormy Daniels from their work PC! I don’t even want to picture a naked Trump getting spanked. But there’s more to this whole, extremely horrible story!

It had been more than 24 hours since something insane and disturbing had emerged about pornographic actress Stormy Daniels’ alleged 2006-era affair with Donald Trump, which was a long time by this fast-evolving story’s standards, but Mother Jones has now delivered the goods:

According to 2009 emails between political operatives who were at the time advising Daniels on a possible political campaign, [Daniels] claimed that her affair with Trump included an unusual act: spanking him with a copy of Forbes magazine.

The Forbes issue in question, MoJo goes on to report, may have featured Trump and his children Don Jr. and Ivanka on its cover. And when taken in context, this bizarre detail may go further to confirm Daniels’ story than anything that’s been reported elsewhere, because she apparently disclosed it casually—rather than as part of any premeditated media strategy—after someone she was working with on a potential Senate campaign (!) in Louisiana happened to see Trump’s number in her phone. From Mother Jones again:

According to a May 8, 2009, email written by an operative advising Daniels, who asked not to be identified, Daniels at one point scrolled through her cellphone contacts to provide her consultants with a list of [potential donors] … on the list: Donald Trump.

The operative later wrote the following to a professional acquaintance:

“She says one time he made her sit with him for three hours watching ‘shark week.’ Another time he had her spank him with a Forbes magazine.”

Who knew Trump was a Shark Week fan? “I love all sharks, OK? Because Sharks are the best and we all know they kill for fun!”. So let’s get this straight – the Christian right – the people who protect the “sanctity of marriage” are perfectly OK with a guy who cheats on his third wife and asks to be spanked with a copy of a magazine with his picture on it, because, Jesus. Well, just ask Mike Pence!

Vice President Mike Pence says reports that an adult film star had an alleged affair with President Trump are "baseless allegations."

Pence spoke to The Associated Press during a visit to Jerusalem on Monday. He said he was "not going to comment on the latest baseless allegations against the president."

The Wall Street Journal reported that Mr. Trump's personal lawyer brokered a payment to pornographic actress Stormy Daniels in October 2016 to prohibit her from publicly discussing the alleged affair before the presidential election.

Daniels' real name is Stephanie Clifford. Mr. Trump's attorney, Michael Cohen, has denied there was any relationship. He gave the Journal a statement from "Stormy Daniels" denying receiving "hush money."

That GIF of him with the microphone suddenly seems very dirty doesn’t it? But here’s the best part about this – when you suddenly become Trump famous, as Stormy Daniels did, where is the best place to go? Why… a strip club! And it was quite the party!

Year two of the Trump presidency began here overnight much like year one had ended: with his alleged ex-mistress smashing people's faces into her bare chest at a strip club between an airport and a cemetery.

Adult film star Stormy Daniels, who once claimed to have slept with Donald Trump not long after he married Melania, performed at 11 p.m. Saturday - the anniversary of his inauguration - and 1 a.m. Sunday here on the outskirts of town.

"HE SAW HER LIVE," the Trophy Club's flier said. "YOU CAN TOO!"

The federal government remained shut down, but Daniels was open for business.

She had received $130,000 in hush money days before the 2016 election as part of a payment arranged by a Trump attorney, according to the Wall Street Journal. And now Daniels was capitalizing on her new notoriety sparked by the revelation, though Trump's attorney had issued a statement in which he and Daniels denied the payment and, on Saturday night, Daniels was largely silent in that regard.


Dude republicans, allow me to teach you about what a sex scandal is. Sure, what Bill Clinton did or was accused of doing was bad, but this guy is the president and did this! So where’s the family values crowd at to denounce what Trump did? I know! Just ask Franklin Graham!

William Franklin Graham III, the son of evangelical televangelist Billy Graham, denied any hypocrisy from Christians supporting President Donald Trump.

Graham, the president and CEO of the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, was questioned by MSNBC “Live” anchor Alex Witt on Saturday.

Witt asked Graham how he could support President Trump after his sh*thole comments.

“He said he didn’t say it,” Graham said. “I don’t think any of those senators, if he did use that language, have heard that word for the first time. I’m sure that’s a word they’ve used before, I think there’s a little hypocrisy here.

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[font size="8"]Matt Gaetz vs Ron Pearlman
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From: Idiots #9-2

Wendy P. from Peoria, IL writes:

“Matt Gaetz has to be one of the dumbest people in Congress!”

Well, that’s not a question, but we’ll let the audience be the judge of this one!

You know I love a good beef. Of course you know that Florida Man has representatives in Congress. And Matt Gaetz is that Florida Man. He’s had not one, not two, but 7 DUIs. You know, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me 7 times, well, you must be Matt Gaetz! Now Matt, you shouldn’t have picked a fight with 73 year old Ron Pearlman, who was the star of the show Sons Of Anarchy, a show about murderous vigilante biker gangs who hawk dangerous weapons and drugs to unseen masses. What did you learn, Matt? Oh who am I kidding? The guy who has 7 DUIs apparently doesn’t learn anything! But this fight between a celebrity and a representative is the perfect reason why 2020 is a very strange and weird time to be alive.

Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.) and actor Ron Perlman spent part of Sunday feuding with each on Twitter after Perlman blasted the congressman for criticizing the U.S. Soccer board of directors' recent vote to repeal a policy that required players to stand for the national anthem.

The board voted earlier this week to repeal the policy, which the league enacted years back after U.S. women’s soccer star Megan Rapinoe joined NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick and other athletes in taking a knee during the national anthem before games in their respective sports to protest police brutality and racism.

The repeal follows weeks of protests against racial inequality and police treatment of people of color in the country prompted by the police killings of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor and other African Americans.

Gaetz was one of a number of Republican lawmakers, including President Trump, who knocked the soccer federation earlier this week after news broke of the vote to repeal the policy.

Oh yes they are! Now here’s where it gets weird. As if things escalated quickly between Perlman and Gaetz, if you’re going to use a pop culture reference against someone, let alone someone who starred in the show itself, at least, I don’t know, maybe watch the show itself? Yeah because when you do and you fail to use the reference as it was intended, well, you are the one who is the loser.

The latest fight between a Hollywood star and a Republican came this weekend between Ron Perlman and Florida Congressman Matt Gaetz, after the pro-Trump politician condemned the U.S. Soccer Federation for removing a requirement for players to stand during the national anthem.

But Gaetz’s attempt to clap back at the “Hellboy” star backfired after he attempted to suggest Perlman was a hypocrite for opposing racism even though he played a villainous motorcycle gang leader on FX’s “Sons of Anarchy.”

Gaetz said on Twitter this past week that he was planning to write a bill forcing athletes on USSF teams to stand during the anthem. Some U.S. Soccer players such as two-time World Cup champion Megan Rapinoe have made headlines in the past for kneeling during the traditional pre-match playing of “The Star-Spangled Banner.”

“If our soccer team is going to disrespect our anthem and our flag, it is not essential for us to have,” Gaetz tweeted.

Now that’s how you use a Sons Of Anarchy reference! As if this story couldn’t get any weirder, Matt Gaetz got some backing from another Trump backer – Ted Cruz. Yes, Mr. Machine Gun Bacon managed to insert himself in between the beef with Matt Gaetz and Ron Perlman, and offered to turn this free for all into an actual free for all! Because if there’s one social media faux pas you don’t commit, it’s that you don’t take sides in a beef!

What starts with soccer, ends with wrestling and lasts the better part of three days? That would be Ron Perlman’s recent Twitter feud with Sen. Ted Cruz and Rep. Matt Gaetz.

Among the edgy vocabulary in the poo-flinging contest: “racial justice warrior,” “wokeness,” “gerrymandered,” “triggered,” “dog whistles,” “white supremacy” and more, along with some really choice profanity. It hardly gets more Twitter-esque among the verified-account crowd.

“Sons of Anarchy” actor Perlman and Gaetz, a Florida Republican, clashed on Saturday after President Trump reweeted a Thursday tweet from Gaetz shading the U.S. Soccer Federation’s decision Wednesday to roll back a 2017 regulation requiring players to stand during the national anthem.

“I’d rather the US not have a soccer team than have a soccer team that won’t stand for the National Anthem,” Gaetz tweeted. “You shouldn’t get to play under our flag as our national team if you won’t stand when it is raised.”

First rule of Twitter beefs, you do not talk about Twitter beefs! Oh and by the way in case you think Matt Gaetz couldn’t possibly get any dumber, I love that he shared this photo of him with another guy and attempts to explain that the other guy is his adopted son. And no, I can guarantee no one was wondering if this guy was his adopted son.

Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.) announced he has an adopted Cuban teenage son the day after a heated exchange with Rep. Cedric Richmond (D-La.), in which the Democratic lawmaker invoked his experience raising a black son as a reason for pushing for strong police reform.

Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.) announced he has an adopted Cuban teenage son the day after a heated exchange with Rep. Cedric Richmond (D-La.), in which the Democratic lawmaker invoked his experience raising a black son as a reason for pushing for strong police reform.

The jousting took place during the House Judiciary Committee markup of police reform legislation offered by Democrats. The bill would ban chokeholds, mandate body cameras, make lynching a federal crime, prohibit no-knock warrants in drug cases and establish a federal registry of officers accused of misconduct. Gaetz opposes the bill.

Gaetz reacted at the Wednesday night hearing in anger after Richmond said “as a black male ... who was a victim of excessive force, who has a black son, who has worries that you all don’t, and to my colleagues, especially the ones that keep introducing amendments that are a tangent and a distraction from what we’re talking about, you all are white males.”

Gaetz initially sought to turn the discussion about law enforcement into a question of whether the two lawmakers could equally relate to the fear of police brutality happening to their children on a personal level.

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[font size="8"]The NRA
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From: Idiots #4-11

Michael S. from Inglewood, California writes:

“Hey man, I love Run The Jewels and RTJ 4 was one of the best albums of 2020! But doesn’t Killer Mike have a beef with someone? I think I remember hearing that somewhere.”

Well after searching the Top 10 database, there was that one time when the NRA had their own TV network and had a tendency to take things out of context, which really isn’t that surprising.

So you ever wonder how celebrities get their nicknames? Well this week one celebrity made it really obvious how he got his nickname. I’m of course talking about the rap group Run The Jewels. Which features two guys – El-P and Killer Mike. The latter is the subject of this next entry, and the backlash and blowback that he received from appearing on NRA TV has been well, the most insane thing that has happened in 2018. And it’s only March people!!!

One half of Run The Jewels, Killer Mike has taken to social media to clarify controversial points he made in an interview with the National Rifle Association of America.

The interview was released while marches against gun violence took place in US, and saw the rapper discuss his gun ownership stance while debating the marches and National Walkout Day.

“I told my kids on the school walkout, I love you, [but] if you walkout that school, walkout my house,” he said to NRATV.

“We are not a family that jumps on every single thing an ally of ours does because some stuff we just don’t agree with.”

Killer Mike also said he was “very pro-Second Amendment”.

“And before you say ‘What about the children,’ my daughter goes to Savannah State University. There was also a shooting on that campus. Talked to my wife and daughter after that, the decision was we’re gonna go to Savannah, she’s gonna get a gun and train more.”

Well at least we know how he earned the nickname Killer! But as you can imagine there’s more to this story as you can probably tell. I mean really when the whole country is marching against the NRA you don’t go on NRA TV!

But by Sunday evening, following an online outcry from fans and gun control advocates, Killer Mike issued an apology for his appearance on the show and said the NRA misused it "as a weapon" against Saturday's marches. Mike added that his appearance was intended to focus on gun ownership by black Americans. "I did an interview about black gun ownership in this era," Mike said in his statement. "That interview was used a week later to disparage a very noble campaign that I actually support ... I want to say first I'm sorry guys. I do support the March — and I support black people owning guns. It's possible to do both." The position isn't new for the rapper — a year ago, he appeared on the Tavis Smiley show to say the NRA has "had a value to me my entire life," and that he is a member of the organization. "I think that one million black men should go online and just get a year's membership, and see how you like it."

Killer Mike's partner in the duo Run The Jewels, El-P (otherwise known as Jaime Meline), initially commented on the NRA's stance against the marches, tweeting "they didn't want to be known, they wanted to be kids. And they've earned being heard in one of the hardest ways possible. No matter what you believe we all have to listen in a real way."

Oh come on Mike, did you really think you would be able to appear on NRA TV and *NOT* have them misquote you? I mean they could issue a new tape tomorrow and call it “Run The Jewels Live From Uranus!”. Thank you audience! Oh and don’t think they won’t disguise a poop joke in that title either, I mean they did support President Bone Spurs after all! Don’t worry Mike -we get it. We think people should have the right to protect themselves especially in this toxic political climate that we live in. At least they apologized for the interview, but Mike is not backing down on his stance. And you know what? We’re OK with that. NRA TV is really the evil ones here.

Run the Jewels member Killer Mike (AKA Michael Render) has apologized for giving an interview to the NRA in which he defended gun ownership and said he had discouraged his children from participating in school walkouts in protest against gun violence. The video interview ran online the same day as the nationwide March for Our Lives protest.

Killer Mike has now posted two new videos apologizing for the interview and its timing. “That interview was used a week later by NRATV to disparage a very noble campaign that I actually support,” he said. He apologized to the students who organized the rally. “I’m sorry that an interview I did about a minority – black people in this country – and gun rights was used as a weapon against you guys. That was unfair to you and it was wrong, and it disparaged some very noble work you’re doing.” He encouraged them to keep organizing: “Plot, plan, strategies, organize, and mobilize.”

Oh and by the way – if you think this was an isolated incident, Killer Mike wasn’t the only gun nut apologist shooting his mouth off this week. Yeah you can take that pun either way. Behind door #2 – a guy who actually was a victim of a mass shooting – Jesse Hughes of Eagles Of Death Metal!

Eagles of Death Metal frontman Jesse Hughes, who survived the 2015 Paris attacks, has lashed out at survivors of the Parkland, Florida, school massacre.

In a series of posts on Instagram, the singer labelled students who led the March for Our Lives protest on Saturday as "vile abusers of the dead".

Hughes also accused one of the students of "treason" and mocked their gun control campaign.

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Foxconn WTF?
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From: Idiots #5-19

Les P. from Lexington, Kentucky writes:

“I noticed that my new motherboard has Foxconn components. Weren’t they supposed to come to the US or something?”

Actually yes, they were, and you might say that they got the standard “Art Of The Deal” treatment that we’ve all come to expect from Trump by now.

Hey Orlando, it’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

Last year, speaker of the house Paul Ryan and president Donald Trump made a deal with the state of Wisconsin to bring the extremely controversial electronics conglomerate Foxconn to Ryan’s home state of Wisconsin. The deal that Trump was touting was not exactly met with a warm welcome, and now things seem to be getting much worse. Apparently the deal has also been about as shady as you can expect, with things like this happening .

Maybe you remember the big show at the White House after Foxconn agreed to build a new manufacturing plant in Mt. Pleasant, Wisconsin. Trump was there to tout the deal as a victory in his “America First” crusade. Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker was there trying to win back some of his state’s respect after his 2016 presidential bid took a nose-dive.

And Foxconn founder Terry Gou was there to play on these desires, hoping to get a new American factory on the cheap. The state of Wisconsin agreed to hand over a $4.1 billion subsidy to Foxconn, which will cost Wisconsinites more than a million dollars per job created. And a nonpartisan study shows the state won’t see a return on this investment until 2042.

Now two news stories are emerging that show how one of Trump’s biggest “America First” triumphs is mostly benefitting Foxconn. Just one day before the country votes in numerous Congressional elections, a New Yorker piece shed some light on the shady tactics used by the Mt. Pleasant’s Village Board of Trustees to get the needed land.

People generally associate Foxconn with Apple and all the horrors coming out of their Chinese factory in Shenzhen, and you rightfully should be horrified that they want to bring that here to the US. Especially when the deal made to bring Foxconn here was done with a dirty dealer.

It was a veritable lovefest in Milwaukee in July 2017 when Republican Gov. Scott Walker and Foxconn chairman Terry Gou announced their plan to create a heavily subsidized manufacturing plant in southeastern Wisconsin. Walker gushed that Gou, who founded his Taiwan-based company in 1974, was “one of the most remarkable business leaders in the world.” Gou returned the favor by saying, “I’ve never seen this type of governor or leader yet in this world.” Effusive, yet ambiguous.

The details of the deal were famously written on the back of a napkin when Gou and the Republican governor first met: a $3 billion state subsidy in return for Foxconn’s $10 billion investment in a Generation 10.5 LCD manufacturing plant that would create 13,000 jobs.

The size of the subsidy was stunning. It was far and away the largest in Wisconsin history and the largest government handout to a foreign company ever given in America. Like most states, Wisconsin had given subsidies to companies in the past, but never higher than $35,000 per job. Foxconn’s subsidy was $230,000 per job.

Don’t worry, we won’t. But if you work for Foxconn you should realize that if you do the math, those jobs really don’t pay that much and they won’t really make a dent in Foxconn’s profits. Really, that’s what happens when you deal with a dirty dealer. But here’s where it could quite possibly get ugly – not that it hasn’t happened already.

Foxconn Technology Group is considering bringing in personnel from China to help staff a large facility under construction in southern Wisconsin as it struggles to find engineers and other workers in one of the tightest labor markets in the U.S.

The company 2354, +0.15% , the Taiwanese supplier to Apple Inc. AAPL, +0.11% , has been trying to tap Chinese engineers through internal transfers to supplement staffing for the Wisconsin plant, according to people familiar with the matter.

The state pledged $3 billion in tax and other “performance-based” incentives to help lure Foxconn, and local authorities added $764 million. Foxconn must meet hiring, wage and investment targets by various dates to receive most of those benefits.

The company promised the state it would invest $10 billion and build a 22-million-square-foot liquid-crystal display panel plant, hiring 13,000 employees, primarily factory workers along with some engineers and business support positions.

So… $10 billion to build an LCD manufacturing facility for 13,000 employees, if you do the math, is barely a fraction of the cost of building this thing. And they might not even hire American workers. That makes both Foxconn and Trump dirty dealers. So are they or are they not hiring workers from out of the United States?

Foxconn has received roughly $4 billion in subsidies set aside by Wisconsin to build a new plant in the state, but that deal is looking worse and worse with each passing day. According to the Wall Street Journal, Foxconn is looking into transferring workers from China to staff up its plant because the company has struggled to hire enough workers in America. But Foxconn is emphatically denying the report and insists it will find enough workers in the U.S.

“We can categorically state that the assertion that we are recruiting Chinese personnel to staff our Wisconsin project is untrue,” Foxconn Technology Group told Gizmodo over email. “Our recruitment priority remains Wisconsin first and we continue to focus on hiring and training workers from throughout Wisconsin. We will supplement that recruitment from other US locations as required.”

But according to the Wall Street Journal, finding skilled labor in the U.S. is difficult today given the country’s low unemployment numbers. And it’s particularly low in Wisconsin right now, where the unemployment rate sits at just 3 percent, with the nation’s at an incredibly low 3.7 percent.

Of course they did! They won’t flat out admit that they are going to hire Chinese workers over American or they’d risk the deal entirely. And it doesn’t take the guy who wrote “The Art Of The Deal” to tell you how bad this idea is, is it? Well…

Last month, at a rally in Mosinee, Wisconsin, Donald Trump introduced Governor Scott Walker to the stage with a boast regarding a dubious, shared accomplishment. “I got him set up with an incredible company called Foxconn,” Trump told the crowd, referring to the Taiwanese electronics manufacturing giant that had agreed to build its first U.S. plant in the Badger State. “[Foxconn] came to Wisconsin with the most incredible plan . . . It’s the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen. We toured it, and we had a ribbon-cutting a few months ago. And I handed it over to Scott . . . there’s no plant like it anywhere in the United States. One of the most incredible things I’ve ever seen. One of the most incredible things.”

And it’s true! There is nothing like the literally incredible Foxconn deal in the United States, because the Foxconn deal—brokered by First Son-in-Law Jared Kushner—has turned out to be less of a jobs boon than an economic nuclear bomb, and not the good kind, either. To put it more elegantly, the Foxconn deal is the ultimate example of Trump promising Americans the world and then handing them a flaming bag of s--t.

That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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From: Idiots #5-17

Jacquelyn B. from Canton, Mississippi writes:

“I guess Oregon had quite the New Year’s Eve party. Why is there so much fighting going on there?”

In case you haven’t noticed, Oregon is home to some absolutely extreme right wing militia groups, and one of those groups is called Patriot Prayer. Yeah that’s a double oxymoron right there.

Gather around, my fair brothers and sisters of Philadelphia, it’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For the Holy Church of the Top 10 has convened and it’s our weekly duty to remind you why the holiest among us are also the most full of:

My fair congregation!!! You know that Saturday Night’s All Right For Fighting! I heard someone say something like that once. No it wasn’t Sir Elton, although that would make sense. Thank you sir! And while there’s a non secular fight club on the east coast called the “Proud Boys”, this group has been trying to take over Portland like nobody’s business. And just like that secular group, this group called “Patriot Prayer” is certainly going to take over downtown Portland. Or are they?

About two dozen supporters of the far-right Patriot Prayer group gathered Monday on a closed Clark College campus to protest a Washington ballot initiative.

Leader Joey Gibson told the ralliers that Monday's rally was a warm-up for Wednesday when he said they will return to the campus to try to talk to students about the importance of gun ownership.

Clark College President Bob Knight in a letter last week shut down campus Monday after the rally was announced. He encouraged students, staff and faculty to avoid the campus for the day if possible.

Only three or so students showed up. They followed Gibson and his supporters on a 15-minute walk from campus to the Interstate 5 overpass, where they waved U.S. flags and signs that urged people to vote no on Initiative 1639, which would raise the minimum age of semi-automatic rifle purchasers to 21 from 18. It would also impose a 10-day waiting period for semi-automatic purchases and require buyers to take firearms training.

Annabelle Forteo said she attends Clark College two days a week and was annoyed that one of those days was interrupted by the closure.

You know even the good LAWRD JAYSUS thinks this is ridiculous! I mean really I have read and memorized the Good Book from cover to cover and I don’t remember anywhere where it said that JAYSUS shot first and asked questions later! Thank you! I mean did he pray six times or only five? I don’t remember that passage! Yes, that was from the book of Harry, sir! But once again there were more counter protesters than actual protesters. But of course if you’re going to show up to a Patriot Prayer rally, you’re going to get into a fight! Because that’s how they roll.

A demonstration billed as a march for "law and order" in the streets of Portland descended into chaos as rival political factions broke into bloody brawls downtown Saturday night.

Members of the right-wing group Patriot Prayer and their black-clad adversaries, known as antifa, used bear spray, bare fists and batons to thrash each other outside Kelly's Olympian, a popular bar on Southwest Washington Street.

The melee, which lasted more than a minute, ended when riot cops rushed in and fired pepper balls at the street fighters.

The Portland Police Bureau reported seeing protest and counter-protest participants outfitted with hard knuckle gloves, knives and firearms earlier in the evening. Police said they made no arrests Saturday night, but will continue to investigate.

The wild scene unfolded amid mounting tensions among both groups, fueled in part by a pair of national news stories.

Sounds about right. Oh and nobody hates more than Patriot Prayer, they’re the original player haters, and like all horrible things, the group started shortly after the Dark One – whose name shall not be mentioned in my church - assumed power. But unlike that other group, the Patriot Prayer warriors are armed and dangerous, and they’re not afraid to use them!

Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler intended to look decisive Monday afternoon by announcing an emergency ordinance that would give police broad authority to control warring protest groups.

But as he justified his action, the mayor opened a can of worms. He described an alarming discovery—a nest of guns on a downtown roof—that raised more questions than it answered.

In the early morning of Aug. 4, hours before a massive waterfront protest, Portland police officers discovered a group of Patriot Prayer supporters on the roof of a parking garage in downtown. According to a description provided in the mayor's proposed ordinance, the men had a "cache of firearms," which a mayoral staffer would later describe as "long guns."

"Prior to the start of the scheduled demonstrations, police discovered individuals who had positioned themselves on a rooftop parking structure in downtown Portland with a cache of firearms," the ordinance says.

Yes, even SAYTAN himself condemns this group of prayer warriors to the fiery pits of the darkest regions of HELL! Because that’s where these sinners are going! But guess what? Just like Deadpool they’re taking their fight international! Coming soon to a city near you – this shit!

Fresh off another violent street brawl in Portland, Patriot Prayer is planning a pair of college campus visits to talk about guns -- but now is turning its attention to its home turf of Clark County.

Members of the right-wing group plan to be at Clark College on Oct. 22 and Washington State University Vancouver the next day to protest a state ballot initiative that would raise the minimum age of semi-automatic rifle purchasers to 21 from 18.

Joey Gibson, a Vancouver resident and Patriot Prayer's leader, said about three dozen supporters will hand out fliers encouraging students to oppose Initiative 1639, which would also impose a 10-day waiting period for semi-automatic purchases and require buyers to take firearms training.

Several campus groups at WSU Vancouver this week published an open letter to urge students and faculty not to attend class during Patriot Prayer's visit, citing the group's propensity for physical confrontations and its history of drawing white nationalists and other controversial participants to its events, The Columbian reported.

Clark College spokeswoman Hannah Erickson told the paper the school also had concerns about the group coming to its campus, which Gibson dismissed.

"They're not going to stop us talking to students. It's not going to happen," he told The Columbian, adding that Initiative 1639 was "fascist."

Well, Joey, you can talk all you want! Doesn’t mean that anyone is going to listen, and you’re probably going to get into a fight or two! By the way, how great is our gospel choir? Give it up for them! Can I get an amen??? But really the take away here is that these guys are dangerous and insane and you can’t get away from them!

The Oregonian/OregonLive has been able to identify the woman, but not the man. He's wearing a black hoodie emblazoned with the logo for AK Press, a book publisher that specializes in anarchist and radical literature.

The woman didn't respond to multiple phone calls and Facebook messages Thursday seeking comment. New York police and others associated with 9/11 can't confirm she was married to a 9/11 victim.

The episode occurred at the end of a Patriot Prayer march for "law and order" in downtown Portland that spiraled into a violent brawl between the right-wing group and its antifascist, or antifa, adversaries.

Later that evening, a man erupted at a woman standing near the corner of Southwest Morrison Street and Broadway.

"Why are you trying to block me?" says the man, adding an expletive.

There you have it folks! The devil has spoken and it is through Patriot Prayer! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Own Your Lameness
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From: Idiots #6-7

Brian F. from Albuquerque, New Mexico writes:

“Why are conservatives so lame???”

Leave it to people like Donald Trump, Rudy Guiliani, and Roger Stone to leave their cultural mark on what’s cool with the kids at the moment.

Hey conservatives, guess what? You’re not cool. You’re lame! And if you want people to take you seriously, it’s way past time that you own your lameness. In fact don’t even try to be cool or hip. Because as we’ve seen time and time again, any time a conservative tries to be cool by showing us that they can use social media, or that they are into what the kids are into, it backfires on them big time. And don’t even try to mix politics and your business, because then things like this happen. Yes, of course I’m talking about the guy in Colorado who brought politics into his sporting goods store business and then it backfired on him big time and now, well, who’s the loser now?

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. (CBS4) – A sporting goods store owner in Colorado Springs decided to close up shop months after he started boycotting Nike products. In September, Stephen Martin, owner of Prime Time Sports, took issue with a Nike advertisement featuring Colin Kaepernick.

The former NFL quarterback started kneeling during the National Anthem before football games in 2016, sparking a movement among other NFL players, including Broncos linebacker Brandon Marshall.

That in turn sparked large outcry from thousands like Martin.

In 2018, Nike chose to feature Kaepernick in one of its ads.

Martin then decided to sell all of his Nike product at highly-discounted prices, despite him acknowledging Nike merchandise makes up 40-50 percent of the store’s inventory.

Fast forward five months.

“Being a sports store and not having Nike jerseys is kind of like being a milk store without milk or a gas station without gas. They have a virtual monopoly on jerseys. There is no other option,” Martin told the CBS affiliate in Colorado Springs, KKTV.

Well, I guess that’s why you don’t mix business and politics. And next time, maybe shut the fuck up about it? So that’s one way conservatives can own their lameness – don’t take a stand. You know what else they should do? Maybe, I don’t know, before you tweet out a video, maybe check the political status of the artist before hand?

Rock band R.E.M probably couldn’t predict their early ’90s hit song “Everybody Hurts” would be put to political use in 2019. When it was, they were not happy about it.

The episode began on Friday afternoon, when President Trump retweeted a video meme. The clip, created by Trump-supporting meme-maker Carpe Donktum, showed Democratic lawmakers like Senators Bernie Sanders and Kamala Harris looking stoic during the President’s State of the Union address. The video was set to R.E.M.’s “Everybody Hurts.”

R.E.M. was immediately critical about Trump’s use of their song to taunt his political opponents. The band’s official Twitter account tweeted its displeasure on Friday night, referencing the song “World Leader Pretend.”

“Congress, media–ghost this faker!!! Love, R.E.M.” the band tweeted.

So Trump attempted to show that he was cool and hip by tweeting out an egregious copyright violation, and replaced REM’s song “Everybody Hurts” with Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless The USA”. As if that couldn’t possibly get any lamer, guess what? The video was created by an Infowars troll who won a contest and has a ridiculous name at that.

The clip, which runs more than two minutes in length, plays audio from R.E.M.'s early-'90s hit single "Everybody Hurts" over excerpts from Trump's Feb. 5 State of the Union address.

But, as of the early hours Saturday ET, Twitter users could not play the video posted by Trump, and many saw a message that read, "This video has been removed in response to a report from the copyright holder."

The creator of the video that the president tweeted Friday, self-proclaimed Trump supporter @CarpeDonktum, accused Twitter of censorship after the clip became unplayable on the platform.

The clip, clearly meant to mock a selection of lawmakers in Congress, cuts lines from Trump's speech, together with reaction shots of stern-looking politicians whom Trump has criticized in the past. They include Sen. Bernie Sanders, I-Vt., Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, D-N.Y., and Sen. Mitt Romney, R-Utah.

On Saturday afternoon, Trump tweeted a similar video — but this version's backing track replaced R.E.M. with Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the U.S.A."

Who knew Trump had mad video editing skillz, yo? And really? God Bless The USA? That’s the best he could do? I mean he couldn’t use Cat Scratch Fever or BAWITDABA? That’s where Trump could take a stand and own his lameness. And by the way this wouldn’t be the first time that Trump has used a song without the artist’s permission. He’s been caught not once, not twice, but over a dozen times! Yes, a whole fucking dozen!

Axl Rose After Guns N' Roses frontman learned that "Sweet Child O' Mine" was being played at the president's rallies, Rose fired off a series of tweets accusing Trump of using licensing loopholes to ignore his request to stop playing the band's music. "Unfortunately the Trump campaign is using loopholes in the various venues’ blanket performance licenses which were not intended for such craven political purposes, without the songwriters’ consent," Rose tweeted on Nov. 4, 2018.

Pharrell On Oct. 27, 2018, the day after the synagogue shooting in Pittsburgh that left 11 dead, Trump played Pharrell's 2013 summer hit "Happy" at a rally in Indiana, according to reports. Pharell's attorney Howard King sent a cease and desist to Trump with a statement regarding the usage. "There was nothing 'happy' about the tragedy inflicted upon our country on Saturday and no permission was granted for your use of this song for this purpose," the letter read.

Neil Young If you go way back to when Trump first announced he would be running for president at the Trump Tower in 2015, you may remember that Neil Young took issue with Trump's use of "Rockin' in the Free World." "Donald Trump was not authorized to use 'Rockin' in the Free World’ in his presidential candidacy announcement," a spokesperson for the musician's Lookout Management said in a statement in 2015. Young recently reiterated his feelings on his official Facebook page: "Legally, he has the right to, however it goes against my wishes."

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[font size="8"]How Is This Still A Thing?
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From: Idiots #6-8

Olivia W. from San Diego, California writes:

“Conservatives always have a history of picking the worst celebrity representatives. Why is that?”

From Kid Rock to Ted Nugent to Roseanne Barr, Trump’s list of celebrity supporters has always read like a cast list of the latest season of Celebrity Apprentice, and for good reason.

It’s time once again to ask:

This week: TV shows who insist on interviewing Roseanne Barr. How is this still a thing? You know just like we think Twitter should have an “are you sure?” button before pressing send, we really need to have an intervention on reporters who still insist on interviewing the former TV star who has well, struggled to grasp reality. While we can’t fault Roseanne for that, we can certainly fault her for whatever batshit crazy thing is about to come out of her mouth. And this week, she certainly did not disappoint in the slightest.

Roseanne Barr is at it again. The actress/comedienne who lost her job and her hit ABC show after her racist Twitter rant against Valerie Jarrett just took some shots at Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and it looks like some folks will never learn to keep their mouths shut.

Over the weekend, Barr posted a video to YouTube calling AOC a “bug-eyed bi*ch” and a “Farrakhan loving bi*ch” over her proposed Green New Deal; a plan intended to “achieve net-zero greenhouse gas emissions and create economic prosperity for all.”

This isn’t the first time Roseanne Barr has made offensive statements against women who deserve respect.

In deranged new video, Roseanne Barr says of Valerie Jarrett, ‘I thought the bitch was white’

Back in May, Roseanne Barr was abruptly fired from her own show after she tweeted racist remarks about former Barack Obama adviser, Valerie Jarrett.

“muslim brotherhood & planet of the apes had a baby=vj,” Barr tweeted in response to a post about Jarrett.

ABC quickly fired her once they caught wind of the offensive tweets.


Now really, Roseanne. Did you learn anything? Apparently not. And now this gets even weirder with former confidant and the voice of Sideshow Bob himself, Kelsey Grammar, who not even 3 days before, called for Roseanne to be forgiven. Now really, Kelsey, what did you expect?

“Frasier” actor Kelsey Grammer said over the weekend that he thinks that “people should be forgiven” in regards to Roseanne Barr’s departure from her eponymous show last year.

Grammer said he was encouraged by the success of the reboot of “Roseanne,” adding that a reboot of “Frasier” is in the works, according to the Hollywood Reporter.

Last year, Barr was fired by ABC after she made a joke about Valerie Jarrett, who worked s an adviser to former President Obama.

After cries of racism, Barr’s show was canceled. ABC Entertainment President Channing Dungey said her comments were “abhorrent, repugnant and inconsistent with our values.”

“I have no idea. I think people should be forgiven for their sins. Our life is so challenging. How do you ever make amends?” Grammer said of the incident.

And really, you really had to go there? When you interview Roseanne you are almost guaranteed anymore that she will say something batshit crazy. Because Roseanne suffers from a condition where the rectum recycles matter that goes straight to the cranial cavity. And you probably know this disease better as “shit for brains”. Well, her reasons for being fired are almost as crazy as the reason why she was fired in the first place.

Roseanne Barr, who offered a plethora of reasons why she was fired from her hit rebooted sitcom following a racist tweet last year, told The Jerusalem Post that "antisemitism" at ABC and her support for Israel helped do her in.

In an interview published Friday in the Jerusalem-based English-language newspaper ahead of her visit to address Israel's parliament, Barr expanded on one of the multiple theories she's offered to explain why she was kicked off her revived show, "Roseanne," last summer.

"I feel that what happened to me, a large part of it is antisemitism," Barr told the Post in a phone interview on Thursday from her home in Hawaii. "I think it played a part – the fact that I was never allowed to explain what I meant – and what I meant was a commentary on Iran – so they purposely mischaracterized what I said and wouldn't let me explain."

She said ABC acted in haste and did something "unprecedented that they've never done to any other artist" because she is "the most vocal person about Israel and (against) BDS," the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions movement to pressure Israel over its treatment of Palestinians.

Anti-semitism is to blame? Really, are you Walter Sobchak from the Big Lebowski, Roseanne? Look, we support free speech here, nobody is going to come and take your free speech rights away. But after one crazy thing after another, we really need a sanity check before you go out in public and start saying crazy shit. Because she said this about Natalie Portman in January.

The comedian also said in an interview published Friday in the daily newspaper Israel Hayom that John Goodman should have "fought harder" for her.

Roseanne Barr criticized Natalie Portman and defended Kevin Hart ahead of her visit to Israel.

In an interview published Friday in the daily newspaper Israel Hayom, the comedian took on Portman, who last April outraged many upon declining to take part in an award ceremony as the recipient of the Genesis Prize Laureate, explaining she "did not want to appear as endorsing Benjamin Netanyahu, who was to be giving a speech at the ceremony."

"It was really sickening, I find her repulsive," said Barr of Portman in the interview. "She was raised in incredible privilege of safety in the Jewish state and knows nothing about anti-Semitism."

Portman was born in Jerusalem and moved to the U.S. with her parents at the age of 3.

Added Barr, "She's the darling of the left here, the Jewish left in Hollywood, she is a complete hypocrite who grew up in safety and privilege, like I said before, and knows nothing about what she speaks of."

You’re going to attack Natalie Portman for being Jewish when you’re trying to claim anti-semitism is the reason why you got fired? That is what one might call “hypocrisy”. That’s enough to make you ask – interviewing Roseanne:

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
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From: Idiots #7-13

Micah O. from Hilo, Hawaii writes:

“2020 was a strange year. Did everyone forget about the aliens?”

You’re right, Micah! In fact we drank so much reporting that story that we kind of forgot about it!

Hey guys I could really use a drink!

Of course you know by now that the idea of this segment is that we have some drinks, and while we’re cocktailing, we talk about anything in the news as long as it doesn’t relate to politics. You know I don’t mix booze with politics, but during this administration, it certainly helps. So tell me bartender, what goes well with an alien invasion? A mellonballer? Well, it is a green drink. Ah, I’ll just have my usual Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. I call it the Double Jack. Last Saturday all the crazy people from your social media feeds went to the military base outside of Lincoln County, Nevada known to the rest of the world as Area 51. So what did you get if you went and stormed Area 51?

With lime green alien suits and tin foil face masks, guests of the original Alienstock music festival gave extraterrestrials a run for their money.

One small Nevada town was bracing itself for the original alien-themed music festival that a viral internet joke had birthed, anticipating that anywhere between 5,000 and 25,000 attendees would descend on their tiny desert town of 40-50 residents.

But what happened over the weekend in Rachel, Nevada, wasn’t remotely the catastrophe many had feared.

“It was honestly breathtaking,” says Matthew Carswell, 22, who flew from Miami to Nevada for Alienstock. “It was a really good atmosphere.”

Despite a small handful of arrests, it was mostly an invasion of friendly humankind. Most people came to the gathering in peace.

Man why did you say alien love???? But you know if you’re the closest town to Area 51, you got to be prepared to handle the worst. Thankfully that didn’t happen. But given the military’s warning prior to the “Storm Area 51” proposal, that went about as well as it could have expected. Think of it like a weird, less offensive Burning Man with more aliens, and less… Burning Man.

They prepared for 30,000.

But the number of visitors that descended on this Extraterrestrial Highway town 150 miles from Las Vegas to “storm” Area 51 peaked at 3,000, allowing authorities on Saturday to begin scaling back resources.

“We planned for 30,000 with contingencies above that,” said Lincoln County Emergency Manager Eric Holt. “Anything less than that was acceptable.”

In the end, the storm was more of a September shower.

The middle-of-the-night meme that exploded into a viral space spectacle in this far-flung Nevada town served as both a challenge to law enforcement and county leaders with many lessons learned and an opportunity for otherworld seekers to be a part of something they thought could become the next Burning Man or Woodstock.

No aliens appeared. No flying saucer beams illuminated the desert sky. But to the people who showed up to open a new chapter in the extraterrestrial saga, being here was enough.

“Fifty years from now,” said Pahrump resident Stacey Villines, “we can say we were here.”

Well I would certainly hope that you would come in peace sir! Or… I don’t know how genders work in the alien world. Hell, I don’t even know how genders work in the human world. There, I will admit it. But this event just took off, and like your favorite sparkling fire product, just fizzled out. Even some of your favorite brands got in on the alien love. Wait, why did you say alien love? Don’t say alien love!!!

Karl Marx famously said, “History repeats itself, first as tragedy, then as farce.” While the Storm Area 51 “movement” (which itself began as a joke) will hopefully not end in tragedy (hint: do not attempt to enter the Air Force base or rile up residents) the farce is already with us.

Kool-Aid is giving away 900 canisters of its limited-edition “UFO-Yeah Intergalactic Green” in select markets nationwide starting on September 19. To have a shot at winning this Kool-Aid Man special edition (a spokesperson insists the canister “puts the EXTRA in extraterrestrial”), the company says to tweet #UFOYeah and #promo.

If you’re over 21, you can enjoy another alien-themed beverage. Bud Light is sponsoring the Area 51 Celebration, now scheduled for Las Vegas on Sept. 19. Limited edition alien-themed cans will reportedly be available in California, Nevada and Arizona. But fear not; if you live outside those states Bud Light will still let you order alien-themed hats, socks, t-shirts and even a $75 flag to signal the aliens when they are looking for a landing spot.

Oh yeah that’s the stuff! So with marketers getting into that sweet, sweet alien love, they even have their own theme song now! Yes, so you too can rock out while making alien love as you wait for next year’s Storm Area 51 event!

As alien enthusiasts arrive at a remote patch of the Nevada desert, one young hero has already emerged from the legion people who have pledged to invade Area 51, and finally “see them aliens.”

The event, which was given the name “Storm Area 51, They Can’t Stop All of Us,” suggests that people from around the world gather in the Nevada desert to invade the site. The gathering and jokingly “planned” invasion of the secure military site has made headlines around the world as the military and local residents brace themselves for crowds.

One part of the event that has garnered ever so slightly less attention, though, is the proposed method of invasion. The Area 51 invasion originator suggested that everyone pouring into the military base do so as a “Naruto run” inspired by Naruto Uzumaki the Japanese manga character who runs with his head down and arms stretched behind him. (The event creator Matty Roberts did a demo in interviews.)

One young attendee clearly got the Naruto memo, though. When a local news team arrived to report on the scene near Area 51 in advance of the invasion, a kid ran behind the reporter with head down and arms held back Naruto style. The glorious moment was caught on camera by Twitter user @MunaNawabit1 who shared the video clip on the social media site. The kid’s genius was quickly recognized by other Twitter users who shared the clip, ensuring that with one brief jog the kid ran straight into the Area 51 record books.

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[font size="8"]Keeping Up With The Candidates Ep. 12: Beto’s Gun Policy
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From: Idiots #7-17

Sandra J. from Rancho Cucamonga, CA writes:

“You know I really liked Beto O’Rourke, how come he didn’t fare better in the campaign?”

Well we liked Beto too, but perhaps this was too much of a hot button issue to warrant him further consideration.

Welcome back to our guide to the mother of all elections to end elections until the remainder of time in 2020, Keeping Up With The Candidates. Last week we discussed the breaking news about how Tulsi Gabbard might be being groomed as a Russian agent. Or a republican one. Or she might tell both to fuck off and go third party. Yeah that would be the absolute worst response to that. Kind of like getting into a car accident and telling your insurance company you did it for the LULZ. Yeah that never works. OK enough of that. We have to talk about America’s 800 pound gorilla in the room and that’s guns. What are we going to do about America’s gun violence epidemic? There’s only one man out of the 24 who has the balls to take on the NRA, and that’s Texas’ Beto O’Rourke. He has a very controversial plan to end gun violence, but what is it? We will take a look and see!

Beto O'Rourke dismissed criticisms of his sweeping gun control proposal, telling CBS News in an interview Thursday night that he expects gun owners will go along with his plan to institute a "mandatory buyback" of high-powered rifles.

"If we're able to pass mandatory buybacks and I'm able to sign that into law, then I fully expect our fellow Americans to turn in their AR-15s and their AK-47s," the former Texas congressman said.

O'Rourke's "mandatory buyback" plan, which would force gun owners to surrender high-powered rifles like the AR-15 and the AK-47, has been criticized as impractical by other candidates in the race. South Bend Mayor Pete Buttigieg, for example, has said that O'Rourke's plan amounts to "confiscation."

Buttigieg and O'Rourke sparred over their gun views at the most recent Democratic debate earlier this month. Buttigieg, who backs more traditional gun control measures like universal background checks, dismissed O'Rourke's idea as a "purity test" and a "shiny object." In a jab back at Buttigieg, O'Rourke said that Democrats should not base their opinions on polling and what consultants say.

Seriously, good luck with that! I am definitely not poo pooing the idea, but have you seen the comments posted on gun threads, Beto? The most hardcore gun nutters definitely aren’t putting down their weapons that easily. Yeah I know it’s a comments section – the bathroom stall wall of the internet, and by the way – let us know what you think in the comments! Stay on target, stay on target! But what is specifically involved in this thing?

Former Rep. Beto O'Rourke struggled to explain on Wednesday how he would make people who wish to do harm with an assault-style weapon to comply with his proposed mandatory gun buyback, a plan that divided Democrats at Tuesday's primary debate hosted by CNN and The New York Times.

O'Rourke's plan includes a ban on assault-style weapons and for the federal government to buy back firearms, including AK-47s and AR-15s, for a "fair price" -- or otherwise face a fine.

Pressed by CNN's Alisyn Camerota Wednesday on how he planned to get assault-style weapons from people who would be reluctant to hand them over, O'Rourke, a former US representative from Texas, insisted that Americans would abide by the law.

"It's pretty simple. As with any law in this country, we would expect our fellow Americans to follow the law," O'Rourke said on CNN's "New Day."

Yeah I think Stewie is the perfect example of someone who should not be allowed to own a gun because you know he won’t use it for good! But a mandatory program Beto? You are really going there? I’m not saying no one should have guns and I’m not touching that one with a 10 foot pole. But here’s the problem with a mandatory gun buy back program: the keyword “mandatory”. Yeah some gun nutters, that’s exactly what they want, and they’re not going down without a fight!

If Tuesday night’s Democratic presidential debate decided anything, it was that Texas dodged a bullet — literally — when it failed to elect Beto O’Rourke to the U.S. Senate last year.

Ever since August’s devastating mass shooting at an El Paso Walmart, the former congressman has made promoting comprehensive gun control his raison d’etre.

That isn’t surprising or even problematic, really. Progressive Democrats have long capitalized on national tragedies in their effort to promote gun restrictions, even as there is no clear evidence that mass shootings are on the rise.

And, in fairness, the horrific nature of the El Paso shooting probably warranted a strong response from its former representative in Congress. Even some prominent conservatives have made the case for gun reforms in its wake, advocating policy proposals such as red-flag laws. Other Republicans have indicated an openness to strengthening background checks.

But O’Rourke has gone much further in his gun control advocacy, declaring on the debate stage in Houston last month, “Hell yes, we’re going to take your AR-15, your AK-47. We’re not going to allow it to be used against our fellow Americans anymore.”

Yeah really, while you’re concerned about vaping, there’s plenty of people who are armed to the teeth that will kill you before inhaling a lifetime of electronic smoke will do! This is why Beto’s gun buyback policy is a good idea in theory but would have a near impossible time working in real life. By the way if you want to see how an actual gun buyback program, here’s how Japan handled the situation. And you know what? Japan has the lowest number of shootings in the entire world!

Gun control discussions crop up every time there is an attention-grabbing shooting in the US. On Wednesday, a 19-year-old allegedly shot dozens of his former classmates at a Florida high school, leaving 17 of them dead.

One of the biggest questions: How does the US prevent this from happening over and over again?

Although the US has no exact counterpart elsewhere in the world, some countries have taken steps that can provide a window into what successful gun control looks like. Japan, a country of 127 million people and yearly gun deaths rarely totaling more than 10, is one such country.

"Ever since guns entered the country, Japan has always had strict gun laws," Iain Overton, executive director of Action on Armed Violence, a British advocacy group, told the BBC. "They are the first nation to impose gun laws in the whole world, and I think it laid down a bedrock saying that guns really don't play a part in civilian society."

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Next week we’re going to check in with the Bernie Sanders camp and find out what his latest chances of winning the election are after his recent health crisis!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]The Hu[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is a really awesome band hailing from Ulanbataar, Mongolia. Their debut album is called “The Gereg”. Playing their song “Shoog Shoog”, give it up for The Hu!

So because of yesterday's events we will be postponing our Goodbye To Trump special edition indefinitely and will run a Best Of next week instead. And our original season opener was supposed to be on 1/20 but will be moved because of inauguration day, so our actual season premiere will be on 1/27!

See you next week!


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