The problem of men not wearing masks is finally solved: "Introducing MUSK: The Mask for Men"

Link to tweet

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/introducing-musk-the-mask-for-men

Men, are you tired of being treated like a goddamned cuck by the CHINAVIRUS? Pissed off that Olive Garden won’t let you inside unless you’re wearing a thin piece of FABRIC on your face? Has your manhood taken a hit because chicks can’t see your greying goatee when it’s hidden by “SCIENCE”?

God granted you high levels of testosterone to make you immune to disease, yet your civil liberties are being trampled on by SNOWFLAKEY assholes who won’t let you show off your manly man mouth. What’s a gladiator like you to do when liberal PUSSIES tamper with your right to both catch and spread a deadly virus?

Baricco traces the trajectory of a revolution in the way we think, feel, and communicate—and seeks to discover what it might actually mean for our future.

Introducing MUSK: The Mask for Men.

Our masks aren’t made out of SOFT FABRICS. None of that BREATHABLE DAINTY ASS COTTON for us, Jack. OUR masks are made from material that’s as TOUGH and unyielding and uncomfortable as the comments you leave on Barstool Sports’ articles about how lady sports commentators SUCK.

Once we receive payment to our offshore bitcoin account, we’ll custom make your MUSK Mask from one of the following HARDCORE textiles:

Muscle Car Leather Seats

Gold’s Gym Tank Tops

Talladega Superspeedway asphalt

Assorted Sturgis Motorcycle Rally memorabilia and collectibles

Drywall

Slats that fell off THE INDESTRUCTIBLE BORDER WALL

Grit 7000 High-Precision Sandpaper Sheets

Crunchy, yet moist strip club dollar bills

The hide from a rabid honey badger

18-gauge, 4-point galvanized barbed wire (in Steely Silver, Midnight Black, or Cuck-free Copper)

Shards of Russian vodka bottles

1993-1998 issues of Playboy — when women were WOMEN

Giordano’s Famous Chicago Stuffed Deep Dish Pizza Crust (Must be worn within 24 hours)

*snip*