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Thu Dec 3, 2020, 06:27 AM

Tired man....just so tired

I watched my loving sweet caring mother turn into a raging hate filled person I didn't know anymore after her last marriage and subsequent fox filled misinformation filled last 10 years of her life.

I've said for years now that I would NOT turn out like that.

I was standing on the porch a few minutes ago just drinking coffee watching the sun rise. Its early and my thoughts just flitted from one thought to another when it hit me. I HAVE turned out like that. I am filled with as much hate and rage and bitterness as my mother ended up being filled with. I'm ....... well, tears came to me with this realization but I don't think there's anything that can change it. I hate what I've become.

The source of my rage and hate came from the same place my mothers did too. fox and rush and hannity et al. (no, I will NOT capitalize those names!) Only difference is her animosity was from agreement with them and mine..... mine is for what they have done to us as a nation and as individuals.

They are good at what they do .... rush and hannity and carlson and fox and trump. They exist and profit from and because of lies and hate.

I'm very sad this morning to come to grips that they won, even with me. I am tired man, just so freaking tired.

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Arrow 22 replies Author Time Post
Reply Tired man....just so tired (Original post)
BigOleDummy Dec 2020 OP
Chin music Dec 2020 #1
OnDoutside Dec 2020 #2
634-5789 Dec 2020 #3
True Blue American Dec 2020 #4
wnylib Dec 2020 #9
Bernardo de La Paz Dec 2020 #5
LittleGirl Dec 2020 #6
Earthshine2 Dec 2020 #7
handmade34 Dec 2020 #8
appalachiablue Dec 2020 #10
Maxheader Dec 2020 #11
badhair77 Dec 2020 #12
kentuck Dec 2020 #13
lastlib Dec 2020 #14
sinkingfeeling Dec 2020 #15
panader0 Dec 2020 #16
Jrsygrl96 Dec 2020 #17
Roc2020 Dec 2020 #18
DanieRains Dec 2020 #19
vlyons Dec 2020 #20
Grasswire2 Dec 2020 #21
Martin Eden Dec 2020 #22

Response to BigOleDummy (Original post)


Response to BigOleDummy (Original post)

Thu Dec 3, 2020, 06:32 AM

2. Phone bank/Donate etc to Georgia, for a great start to the New Year ! It's tiring but at least Dems

are in the game, that's a positive isn't it ?

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Response to BigOleDummy (Original post)

Thu Dec 3, 2020, 06:49 AM

3. Hang in there!

I promise...it gets better.

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Response to BigOleDummy (Original post)

Thu Dec 3, 2020, 06:54 AM

4. I share your feelings.

Can only hope we can survive the wrecking ball for 57 more days! I am beginning to doubt.

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Response to True Blue American (Reply #4)

Thu Dec 3, 2020, 08:09 AM

9. The hate media will still be around,

still spouting hate, as they were before the orange fascist moved into the White House.

Biden and Harris will brighten the news cycle, and there will be more positive things to look forward to, but the hatemongers will still be around, trying to grab attention.

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Response to BigOleDummy (Original post)

Thu Dec 3, 2020, 06:55 AM

5. You are redeemable because you introspected and are self-aware. You will quickly improve


"they" have NOT won. They won a battle with a surprise victory in 2016 and started many other battles, some of which they won for the time-being. But you and we won the big battle in 2020, though the bigger (for the moment) Covid battle is still raging. Victory even in that battle is in sight, though with many completely unnecessary casualties still to come.

You are tired, as many are, but a new America is dawning.

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Response to BigOleDummy (Original post)

Thu Dec 3, 2020, 06:56 AM

6. Listen, you are reacting to it

Not believing it, so no, you have not become hateful at all.

The lies and the liars are the reason for your emotional response.
Because you know better and damn it all, they do too!
They are wrong and you are righteous in your anger!

I get you.

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Response to BigOleDummy (Original post)

Thu Dec 3, 2020, 07:08 AM

7. Be careful about hating. It can become habit forming, and after that, addictive.

You seem to have enough self awareness that you can pull out of this. Choose your destiny, or it will be chosen for you.

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Response to BigOleDummy (Original post)

Thu Dec 3, 2020, 07:09 AM

8. for you this morning...



we all need hugs and virtual ones are the best we can do these days

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Response to BigOleDummy (Original post)

Thu Dec 3, 2020, 08:12 AM

10. Take care of yourself, do a break. It's natural to

feel wiped out from all the hate and dysfunction, but we must keep on. The crucial battle to preserve democracy is one we'll win.

Last week I was exhausted but have recharged some thru healthy activities & checking in with good, sympatico people.

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Response to BigOleDummy (Original post)

Thu Dec 3, 2020, 08:20 AM

11. Politicos hire the best people marketing pros...


They know you better than you know yourself...They are that good.

And know how to push your buttons. And which way, depending

on the partys whim. ..

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Response to BigOleDummy (Original post)

Thu Dec 3, 2020, 08:29 AM

12. Sounds like your mind is exhausted

and you need some serious rest and escape from your motherís beliefs and the negativity of the news. Please take a break from it. Treat yourself to good things even if itís just good healthy food. Try to spend some time with positive people. The fact that you can identify your state of mind is a positive in itself. I wish you strength and peace.

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Response to BigOleDummy (Original post)

Thu Dec 3, 2020, 08:32 AM

13. Everybody is tired.

Attempting to come to grips with the truth.

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Response to BigOleDummy (Original post)

Thu Dec 3, 2020, 08:35 AM

14. Perhaps this will cheer you up some.

Hope so. Listen to the lyrics; they will give you hope.






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Response to BigOleDummy (Original post)

Thu Dec 3, 2020, 08:35 AM

15. I know. I have become the most discouraged I've ever been this

month after the election. I was so delighted for 48 hours. I felt I could breathe again; smile again. Now I have surrendered. It will never go back to the personal peace and calm I felt before 2017. I stopped watching TV news in 2016 and can hardly even read DU now. I can't take anymore of this insanity.

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Response to BigOleDummy (Original post)

Thu Dec 3, 2020, 08:40 AM

16. Dig deep, the strength you need is within you.

As someone above said--in a few months things will change--trump will be gone, Biden will be in,
the vaccine will be distributed. It's been a long distance run, but I can see the light at the end of
the tunnel.
I too have been exhausted by trump and his cult, long before the virus showed up. His latest actions
continue to show me that he has a hidden agenda, probably Russian kompromat.
I'm cancelling a checkup today--I deem it unnecessary at a time when the virus is raging.
I'm sure you have some positive things in your life that you enjoy and can do from home.
Hunker down under this shelling and grit your teeth. We're going to make it.

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Response to BigOleDummy (Original post)

Thu Dec 3, 2020, 08:53 AM

17. I agree

You cannot let them win. I was just like you. I even stopped going to church because they all think Mango Mussolini was sent by God. Then I joined 2 FB groups - Christians against Trump and Catholics for Biden. What a difference support makes! I can vent and not lose friends! And......I still hate what the liar-in-chief, et al has done to this country, but I have a modicum of peace now. Things will probably get worse before they get better. Hatred seems to always win. But giving in to your hatred is like that saying, "Hate (anger) is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."

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Response to BigOleDummy (Original post)

Thu Dec 3, 2020, 09:24 AM

18. will get worse. sex sells...hate sells

it's unfortunate but true. You can't allow yourself to be pulled into that. The election is over. Take all of 2021 and heal.

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Response to BigOleDummy (Original post)

Thu Dec 3, 2020, 09:29 AM

19. Its Perfectly OK To Hate Evil Lying Scum

That are hurting or killing others for profit or power.

Stealing babies from mothers fleeing for their lives.

Relax. Your reality isn't all made up from lies, and fear.

Cause some GOOD TROUBLE.

Your country / world needs you / us.

You are in the right place.

Danie ~

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Response to BigOleDummy (Original post)

Thu Dec 3, 2020, 10:07 AM

20. There's a lot that you can do to rise above hatred and anger, both are poison.

Anger and hatred don't make you or any one else on this planet happy and filled with joy. You can make different choices. It's not easy to rise above anger, which for the most part is a bad thought habit, like drinking or smoking. You start by at least WANTING to rise above anger and hatred. Anger is the outward manifestation of inner fear and pain. It is defensive in nature. We spew out anger and hateful words to defend ourselves, when something unpleasant appears. Then automatically, the habitual thought of "I hate such-and-such" pops up. And that is the point at which you can make a different choice.

Label that thought as "just thinking" or "merely a bad habit and unmindful thought" and let it go. Then mindfully choose another more enlightened thought. Such as: I aspire to rise above anger and hatred. I aspire to never speak angry words to anyone for the rest of my life. Contemplate the 4 Immeasurable Thoughts, which are

1. May all beings be free of suffering, and free of the causes and conditions of suffering.

2. May all beings be happy, and have the causes and conditions of happiness.

3. May all beings know the joy of appreciating the success, happiness, and well being of others.

4. May all beings rest in the equanimity of no attachment and no aversion.

Stop watching Fox News and listening to Hate Radio. There have always been hateful angry people, and there will always be angry hateful people. But there have also always been people filled with loving kindness, generosity, patience, and tolerance. So which group do you want to be in?

Patience is the antidote to anger. We need patience and the discipline to practice it, because there are people filled with anger and hatred that try our patience. If you can remember that under all their anger and hatred is suffering and pain, perhaps you can find some patience to just be there, standing with the thought that such an angry person is an opportunity to practice the perfection of patience.

There are a lot of books about how to deal with and rise above anger. Do some reading. There's probably a lot of free stuff to read on the internet.

I'll just share that I spent 60 years (I'm 73) being angry, because I grew up in a dysfunctional family. Then one day, I just decided that I didn't want to unmindfully respond with anger to whatever seemed unpleasant. I decided to overcome such a bad habit. It's taken me years of contemplating the harm of anger and the benefits of patience, and I'm a much much happier person for it. Do I slip into angry thoughts sometimes? Yes I do. That's why I keep practicing and reaffirming my aspirations about maintaining a calm and peaceful mind.

Finally, I'll just say that there is such a thing as "righteous anger," which comes in response to some awful injustice, like putting little kids in cages. But you have to actually DO SOMETHING positive and beneficial with the energy of righteous anger to correct the injustice. All other forms of anger are poison. I hope you find this message helpful.

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Response to BigOleDummy (Original post)

Thu Dec 3, 2020, 07:10 PM

21. Yale holocaust historian Timothy Snyder tells us that..

...a rising autocrat will exhaust the good people of a land with outrage after outrage deployed as spectacle.

Once we know that, we can be more resistant, hopefully.

They didn't win. They didn't change your character. They just exhausted your feelings.



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Response to BigOleDummy (Original post)

Thu Dec 3, 2020, 08:07 PM

22. You hate because you Love

You loved your mother, so you hate what those liars did to her.

You love our country, so you hate what Trump did to it and the people therein.

If you didn't care deeply, you wouldn't be where you're at right now -- hating what you've become.

It's not your fault.

Where do you go from here?

Find a way to channel your emotion into something positive.

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