Glad you could make it, Mike. Give my regards to Mommy
That's "Mother."
Whatever. Now look, Rudy is getting nowhere, and McConnell won't let me bomb Georgia or Arizona. I can't nuke Pennsylvania because it's too close to my golf course. So we have to do this the hard way.
What's the hard way, Mr. President?
I resign on December 22, and you pardon me as a Christmas present. For everything. All transgressions, legal and illegal, uncovered and so far not public knowledge.
EVERYTHING? I'm not sure I'm comfortable with everything.
Are you comfortable with Polonium in your tea?
Right. Everything.
That's better. And you're going to make Mar-a-Lago the 51st State, and name me governor.
But I don't think a president by himself can just create a new State.
Would you like to take that tea with your dessert now?
Got it. Mar-a-Lago the 51st State. Should I name Ivanka and Jared the new state's first Senators?
No, of course not.
Whew, that's a relief.
The Governor names the Senators, so I'll do that. Don't you know ANYTHING about how our government works?