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Fri Nov 27, 2020, 03:21 AM

Melania Banishes Trump to Children's Table

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Claiming that his tantrum about losing the election had ruined Thanksgiving, Melania Trump exiled her husband to the children’s table.

Donald J. Trump’s expulsion occurred shortly after his wife asked those at the grownups’ table to name things for which they were thankful.

Jared Kushner named “doing such a kick-ass job on the pandemic,” Ivanka Trump cited “that I didn’t talk to Bob Woodward,” and Rudy Giuliani chose “my beautiful, naturally dark hair.”

When it was the President’s turn, he launched into a ten-minute tirade about an election-stealing conspiracy involving George Soros, Dr. Anthony Fauci, and “well-known Antifa sympathizer Tucker Carlson.”

By the time he began calling for the imprisonment of Lesley Stahl, Melania had heard enough.

“You just wrecked Thanksgiving, which is my favorite holiday,” she said. “It’s not like Christmas, which totally blows.”

She then banished her sulking husband to the children’s table, causing Barron Trump to remark, “Why am I being punished?”

Barron later emerged victorious in a wishbone game with his father, who demanded that the result of that contest be overturned.


Short article, no more at link: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/melania-banishes-trump-to-childrens-table



Photograph by Mandel Ngan / AFP / Getty

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Reply Melania Banishes Trump to Children's Table (Original post)
Rhiannon12866 Nov 2020 OP
elleng Nov 2020 #1
secondwind Nov 2020 #2
Rhiannon12866 Nov 2020 #3
Gothmog Nov 2020 #4

Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Fri Nov 27, 2020, 03:38 AM

1. Oh MY, is that ivanka being HUMAN???

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Fri Nov 27, 2020, 06:41 AM

2. That's Ivanka ignoring her stepsister. Same as her father,

who doesn’t even look her way. It’s a very sad photograph, in a way. Tiffany looking at her father, almost pleading for love and attention....... very sad.

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Response to secondwind (Reply #2)

Fri Nov 27, 2020, 07:04 AM

3. That's a very good point, I hadn't noticed that before

He's also ignoring his grandchidren. I wonder if he has any relationship with them at all - and we know how he referred to Barron, (about Melania) "She's got a son."

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Fri Nov 27, 2020, 09:28 AM

4. I love good satire

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