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Wed Nov 25, 2020, 04:37 PM

Top 10 Conservative Idiots Best Of #14 - Pre-Thanksgiving Edition


Top 10 Conservative Idiots Best Of #14 – Pre-Thanksgiving Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Happy Thanksgiving! Oh hello! You know we’re still coming to you live being broadcast out of this empty blank void from the walls of an empty comedy club in downtown Burbank. Man it seems all the crazy news happens when we take time off doesn’t it? I mean we took two weeks off back in 2016 and then all hell broke loose with the election. We took time off in March and then bam! We’re in a worldwide pandemic. This time we’re taking time off and it seems like Trump is trying his best to steal the election. But he’s currently 0 for 34 in new cases and he just keeps losing. I mean seriously, how do you expect to win a case if you have no evidence of the claims you present? That would be like trying to buy a house when you’ve gone through 18 different brokerage firms when you have no collateral, and even Jimmy’s Discount Mortgage won’t give you a home loan. And they’ll give a loan to just about anybody! Your job is your credit rating! But anyway we’ll get into what the fuck is happening in Michigan right now in a minute since this is Thanksgiving and in this fucking nightmare of a year, we’ll do our best to bring some comedy because that’s what we do here at the Top 10. OK that’s enough of the intro. We have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first I want to play John Oliver’s segment from back when he used to have live audiences (remember that time?) and his bit about Sheriffs:



So this is our Thanksgiving “Best Of” edition and we’re reaching into the viewer mailbag for your requests and to answer some of your burning questions! In the #1 slot this week, from Idiots #6-6, how is @realDonaldTrump involved in a 3-way between him, the National Enquirer and Jeff Bezos? It’s quite the tangled web they weave, and could explain why Trump hates Amazon so much! In the second slot, from Idiots #8-2, we talk about when Trump got impeached and lost his shit, but for him to lose his shit is really not that far out of his character! Taking the third slot this week is Idiots #8-6, and Rush Limbaugh (3) announces that he has terminal lung cancer, but should we really feel sorry for a guy who spent decades mocking people with cancer and crippling diseases? Well, let’s just say I am not touching that one with a 10 foot pole! Taking the #4 slot this week, from Idiots #7-3, while we await the final verdict in the Trumper Games, Tribute Sanders (4) got eliminated after Trump finally had enough of her shenanigans as the press secretary, and her replacement is so much better! Taking the fifth slot this week, from Idiots #7-6, is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5) takes a thorough look at Bernie Sanders’ claims about student loan debt – just how bad is it? And what can be done about it? Taking the #6 slot this week is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and from Idiots #5-14, our resident pastor reviews a controversial movie made called “The Trump Prophecy” and yeah that movie exists! In the #7 slot this week, from Idiots #7-11 is Beating A Dead Horse, and the man who is still inexplicably our Senate Majority Leader, Mitch McConnell, really hates being called “Moscow Mitch”. So where did he get that nickname from? We will answer that for you! In the #8 slot this week, from Idiots #8-4, we profile the CEO of MyPillow, Mike Lindell, in a new edition of “This Fucking Guy”! In the #9 (NEIN!!!) slot we have, from Idiots #7-11, we have a “People Are Dumb” that is fully dedicated to the one, the only Florida Man! Finally from Idiots #6-16, one of our favorite segments, the Stupidest State segment, is the Batshit Conference finals between Kentucky and Georgia, and it’s a shit show! Plus a performance from Cage The Elephant to fill your live music void! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!


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[font size="8"]Jeff Bezos vs AMI
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From: Idiots #6-6

Dolores G. from Queens, New York writes:

“Love you Idiots! I saw your show at the Grammercy last year! Can’t wait for you to come back! My question is – what does Trump have on Mitch McConnell and Lindsay Graham?”


We appreciate the support! We have a great time every time we visit the Big Apple and can’t wait to return next year! We don’t know what Trump has on Mitch McConnell, but we suspect that the National Enquirer has something on Trump, and this story could also explain why he hates Amazon so much.


Yeah… we need some sexy time music cause this one is for the lovers in the house! That’s right – we’re going to talk about one of the lowest forms of behavior that you just shouldn’t do – the dick pic! Yes, the subject of the dick pic once again rears its’ ugly head. But do we really need a guy with the last name pecker threatening to publish dick pics? Let’s just let that one sink in for a minute. This is quite possibly one of the most insane scandals ever to scandal.

In the blogpost, titled “No thank you, Mr Pecker”, Bezos accused AMI of telling him “they had more of my text messages and photos that they would publish if we didn’t stop our investigation”.

Bezos said his ownership of the Washington Post was a “complexifier” because it had made him the enemy of people including Donald Trump, who has frequently targeted him. Pecker is a longtime confidant of the president.

In December, prosecutors in the southern district of New York gave AMI immunity from prosecution for its cooperation in the investigation into Trump’s presidential campaign and alleged hush payments to a Playboy model. AMI admitted the company had coordinated with Trump’s presidential campaign to “catch and kill” – buy up but not publish – the story of Karen McDougal, the model who claimed she had an affair with Trump. AMI admitted it had worked “in concert” with the campaign to pay McDougal $150,000 for her story and then suppress it. Bezos noted in the blogpost that AMI had entered into the immunity deal.

According to Bezos, AMI’s chief content officer, Dylan Howard, emailed threats to Bezos’s lawyer, Martin Singer, allegedly writing: “In the interests of expediating [sic] this situation, and with The Washington Post poised to publish unsubstantiated rumors of The National Enquirer’s initial report, I wanted to describe to you the photos obtained during our newsgathering.”
https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2019/feb/07/jeff-bezos-national-enquirer-blogpost-blackmail-claim




And by the way just how evil is AMI over this? Well this wouldn’t be the first time a sleazy tabloid got caught in an extortion ring. That’s pretty much what they do for a living! So just how legal is what AMI is doing? Well let’s ask a real lawyer!

So, The Hollywood Reporter canvassed intellectual property experts and asked them to weigh the four factors of fair use with regard to Bezos' lower selfies.

The purpose and character of the use, including whether such use is of a commercial nature or is for nonprofit educational purposes:

"To the extent that there’s a public interest argument it certainly wouldn’t extend to the content of the photos themselves," says entertainment litigator Ashley Yeargan of Russ August & Kabat. "You can describe the photos without having to show them."

Kinsella Weitzman entertainment and intellectual property litigator Gregory Korn agrees the photo itself isn't newsworthy, adding that "it’s essentially just a commercial use. If you call it anything else, you’re just lying to yourself."

As a lawyer who typically defends these kinds of claims, Fox Rothschild's David Aronoff says he would argue it isn't a commercial use — but, he still thinks AMI doesn't have a winning case. "I think fair use would be pretty much their only defense, and it’s not a good one," he says. "Putting aside the issue of extortion, do they have a fair use argument to publish the photos? The answer to that is a pretty strong 'no.'"
https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/thr-esq/jeff-bezos-nude-selfies-are-not-newsworthy-legal-experts-say-1184324




That’s right – hell no!!! But what is AMI getting out of all of this? Well they’re so deep in the collusion scandal that they actually asked the Justice Department whether or not they should register as a foreign agent with the Saudis! Yes that’s right! AMI is deep in a hostile foreign power that is against American interests, much like the WWE. I mean come on, it’s all connected don’t you know?

American Media asked the DoJ about having to register as foreign agent after publishing a glossy mag that hyped Saudi Arabia.

Remember that weird glossy magazine that came out last year promoting Saudi crown prince Mohammed Bin Salman? Daily Beast called it Saudi propaganda, and it was.

AMI, the parent company of The National Enquirer, produced it.

Right after they put this weird Saudi propaganda publication out, AMI asked the United States Department of Justice if it should register as a foreign lobbyist, according to multiple news reports out today.

Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos has accused AMI of blackmailing him over intimate photos, and questioned whether Saudi Arabia may have been involved, which both AMI and the kingdom have denied.
https://boingboing.net/2019/02/11/national-enquirer-parent-compa.html




Yes… yes we are!!!! So you have a trashy entertainment company and a trashy supermarket tabloid journalism company both deep in a massive conspiracy to undermine the world’s largest retailer, but how far does it go? Yes, that’s what she said! Thank you sir! Got to love it when we have smart asses in the audience! But of course AMI is in full “nothing to see here” mode!

A lawyer for National Enquirer owner American Media Inc.'s CEO defended the company's correspondence with Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, saying AMI did nothing illegal.

"It absolutely is not extortion and not blackmail," Elkan Abramowitz, attorney for AMI CEO David Pecker, said Sunday on ABC's "This Week with George Stephanopoulos."

His comments came after Bezos published a blog post Thursday accusing AMI of attempting to blackmail him with threats to publish a trove of embarrassing photos, including some of a sexual nature.

The clash followed the Enquirer's previous publication of a report on Bezos' breakup with his wife and his romantic relationship with former Los Angeles news anchor Lauren Sanchez.

Bezos on Thursday posted emails in which AMI representatives offered to withhold publication of the embarrassing photos in exchange for Bezos acknowledging that the tabloid owner had no political motivation for publishing its original expose. Pecker has supported Donald Trump, and Trump has repeatedly criticized Bezos, who owns The Washington Post.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2019/02/10/jeff-bezos-american-media-elkan-abramowitz-this-week/2829977002/





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[font size="8"]Donald J. Trump
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From: Idiots #8-2

Donna B. from Santa Ana, California writes:

Hello Idiots! Why is Trump so angry and pissed off all the time? Didn’t he already get fired?


Well, Donna, I think it could have something to do with this!


I’m just going to warn you right now that next week’s Top 10 could have a very different attitude depending on the outcome of the impeachment trial. Right now I’m expecting that the Senate will vote not to go through with impeachment and conviction which means that we will most likely be in a “fuck everything mood”. On the other hand if they surprise us, we will be in a “pop the champagne” mood. So that said, since Trump nearly brought us to the brink of World War III to distract from impeachment, how is that sitting with Congress and most particularly Adam Schiff? Well, let’s find out how well it’s going.

The imminent final act of America's impeachment ordeal will be played for far higher political stakes than might be expected given the all-but-guaranteed acquittal of President Donald Trump in his trial in the Republican-led Senate.

The long wait for the trial to begin -- nearly four weeks pulsating with political gamesmanship after the House voted to consign Trump to historic ignominy -- finally looks to be over.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, a California Democrat, will meet her troops on Tuesday and is expected to finally relent in her refusal to send the articles of impeachment to the other chamber -- a delay triggered by a bid to dictate the terms of the trial.

Finally, the Senate will get the chance to assess whether Trump, the third president ever impeached by the House, is guilty of the standard of "high crimes and misdemeanors" for trying to coerce Ukraine to dig up dirt on his possible 2020 election foe Joe Biden.

The way that the public comes to view the climax of the scandal will shape the rest of the President's term, his hopes for a second one and the destiny of the Senate come November's elections.
https://www.cnn.com/2020/01/14/politics/donald-trump-impeachment-senate-trial/index.html




Where is Thanos? Can we just snap with the Infinity Stones and erase the last 3 years? Or can we snap forward 5 years? What? That’s not how it works? The question now is whether or not John Bolton is going to testify at the big senate hearing. The strange thing is that we never, not once ever, thought that Mitt Romney would be the voice of reason when the opposing party has become a dangerous and scary cult.

The House is about to send President Donald Trump's impeachment over to the Senate, setting the stage for a high-profile showdown over just what kind of trial we'll see. And perhaps the biggest looming question is: Will John Bolton testify?

That question is starting to come into focus. The idea that Senate will quickly dismiss the impeachment articles and move on, as Trump has suggested, apparently isn't going to happen - which that means we can now turn to other matters like Bolton.

Sen. Mitt Romney, R-Utah, this week became the first to directly indicate he supports Trump's former national security adviser testifying and would likely vote in favor of it. And despite declining to insist on Bolton's testimony as part of the trial's initial rules, two others appear amenable to voting for witnesses like Bolton during the trial. But that would still leave the vote deadlocked at 50-50, with one more GOP senator needed to put Bolton - and other witnesses Democrats desire, like acting White House chief of staff Mick Mulvaney - on the stand.

In other words: It's on a knife's edge.

Romney has previously indicated he wants to hear from Bolton, who resisted testifying to the House but says he would in a Senate trial. But now Romney has further clarified (with some wiggle room) that he would likely vote in favor of it.
https://www.stamfordadvocate.com/news/article/Will-John-Bolton-testify-at-Trump-impeachment-14974182.php




I don’t know why we’re using Endgame GIFs, but really it does feel like the end of a very long and strange trip doesn’t it? But apparently now Nancy Pelosi says that there’s a new “truckload” of evidence that suggests that Trump did the deed of asking the Ukraine to dig up dirt on Biden even though it’s a completely baseless and bullshit conspiracy theory. How’s that going?

Russian hackers recently targeted the Ukrainian gas company that was at the center of President Trump's impeachment — and they succeeded in gaining access to its email accounts, according to California cybersecurity firm Area 1 Security.

The hackers are said to have infiltrated Burisma Holdings months after Trump urged Ukraine to investigate Joe Biden and his son Hunter, who had served on Burisma's board.

"What we've uncovered is that the same Russian cyber actors who targeted the [Democratic National Committee] in 2016 have been actively launching a phishing campaign against employees of Burisma Holdings and its subsidiaries, to try to steal their email usernames and passwords," Area 1 co-founder Oren Falkowitz tells NPR's Morning Edition.

Trump's push for the Ukrainian probe led to his Dec. 18 impeachment by the House of Representatives on charges of abuse of power and obstruction of Congress. The House had formalized its impeachment inquiry on Oct. 31; hackers linked to Russia's government reportedly sprang into action in early November.
https://www.npr.org/2020/01/14/796195444/russia-hacked-company-linked-to-trump-impeachment-security-firm-says




Yeah…well why do we let Russia get away with anything? Since the 1980s, Russia has consistently produced nothing but bad for society. Hell, even before the 80s, it was pretty well known that Russia was the Loki to the USA’s Thor. But you know next week is our Straw Poll Special, and with the Straw Poll happening in Iowa like it always does, how does impeachment fly there?

owa voters are almost equally divided over the House's move to impeach President Trump and make him just the third president in U.S. history to face removal by the Senate, according to a new CNN/Des Moines Register/Mediacom poll.

The survey, released late Saturday, found that 45 percent of registered Iowa voters disapprove of the House impeachment of Trump, while 43 percent support it. The opinions divide strongly along partisan lines, with 87 percent of Democrats supporting impeachment and 90 percent of Republican respondents opposing it.

Forty-eight percent of independent respondents said they disapproved the House's move to impeach Trump while 39 percent said they approved it.

The House last month voted to impeach Trump on charges of abuse of power and obstruction of Congress. The vote followed a House inquiry into allegations that Trump pressured the Ukrainian president to announce probes into 2020 presidential candidate Joe Biden and an unfounded theory related to the 2016 election. Trump is also alleged to have withheld military aid as leverage in his push for the investigations.
https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/477865-iowa-voters-split-on-trump-impeachment-poll-shows


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[font size="8"]Rush Limbaugh
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From: Idiots #8-6

Mitchell H. from Grosse Point, MI writes:

“Rush Limbaugh got the medal of freedom? What did that guy do to deserve it? I thought he died or something?”


Mitchell, we know it’s insane that Trump did that and tarnished the reputation of the Medal Of Freedom, but when Rush finally goes, here’s how you should feel about that.


Let’s spin it to win it! And it lands on… come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop!!! Something random in the news!

The NY Post is reporting that an altercation occurred outside Brooklyn's popular Other Half Brewing Company late Friday night. And according to officials, it all had to do with a bunch of smack talk over craft beer.

Witnesses say they were in line overnight for a Saturday morning special release when a man and a woman began harassing them over their taste for pricy, hoppy beer. Several people in line told the NY Post that the couple were staying in a nearby Airbnb when they started mocking the beer lovers. This escalated back and forth to the point that some in line even threw folding chairs at the annoying twosome.

The Post says the the man and woman went back into the apartment for a while, only for the man to reemerge with a can of White Claw hard seltzer. Eager to show these beer snobs what a man's man drinks, the alleged intruder slammed back his drink and then allegedly threw it at those waiting in line. The taunts continued both ways until the Post says the man went back to the apartment and came back with a Glock 19.

Shocked witnesses in line say they called the police as they tried to deescalate the potentially dangerous situation. The man then put the gun away and went back inside. The NY Post says police quickly arrived, brought the man out in cuffs, confirmed his identity with witnesses, and then took him away.
https://wpdh.com/craft-beer-hater-pulls-gun-on-customers-at-new-york-brewery/




Come on, if you’re going to tell a bunch of beer drinkers their product is crap, at least come back with something better than White Claw. That shit is basically La Croix mixed with alcohol mixed with tap water. Why not just chug some pure grain alcohol like Always Sunny In Philadelphia? Seriously, was Florida Man visiting Brooklyn? Spin it again! Talk shows! Folks, last week it was reported that Rush Limbaugh has potentially terminal lung cancer. Which prompted an outpouring of support from conservatives everywhere while Democrats were asking the question “Should we feel remorse for someone we hate?”. Well the answer to that one is a very complex one. And there’s no easy answer.

The conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh said on his live show on Monday that he had advanced lung cancer.

He told listeners that he had noticed some shortness of breath but was not experiencing symptoms at the moment, and that he would continue working but would be absent from the show for a couple of days to undergo testing and determine a treatment plan.

“I can’t help but feel that I’m letting everybody down with this, but the upshot is that I have been diagnosed with advanced lung cancer,” Mr. Limbaugh, 69, said during his broadcast. He added that he first realized something was wrong on Jan. 12 and that the diagnosis had been confirmed by two medical institutions on Jan. 20.

“My heart’s in great shape, ticking away fine, squeezing and pumping great,” he said. “It was not that. It was a pulmonary problem involving malignancy. So I’m going to be gone the next couple days as we figure out the treatment course of action and have further testing done. But as I said, I’m going to be here as often as I can.”
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/02/03/business/media/rush-limbaugh-cancer.html




Now come on, who knew that Rush had a heart to begin with? Oh now we kid, that’s the kind of joke we actually can make. And here’s one that isn’t. OK so Rush Limbaugh has said an awful lot of shit in the last 30 years. Among his greatest hits, he’s gone on Carr mocked rape victims, trashed disabled war veterans and famously had that beef with Michael J. Fox after his Parkinsons diagnosis. But you know what we don’t do? We don’t wish death on people we don’t agree with, even if they are ugly people both on the outside and inside. Just wait for nature to take its’ course.

A Milwaukee Public Schools teacher was placed on leave Wednesday for tweeting that he hopes conservative talk show pundit Rush Limbaugh dies a painful death from cancer.

Travis Sarandos, who teaches English at Milwaukee High School of the Arts, has since deleted his Twitter account.

Replying to a different tweet expressing hope that Limbaugh would recover and begin advocating for affordable health care, Sarandos wrote: "limbaugh absolutely should have to suffer from cancer. it's awesome that he's dying, and hopefully it is as quick as it is painful."

It drew a small firestorm after conservative radio host Mark Belling blasted the tweet in his blog Tuesday.

Milwaukee Public Schools initially said in an email to the USA TODAY Network's Milwaukee Journal Sentinel that it was aware of the tweet, but that Sarandos was not speaking on behalf of the district or students or other staff. Hours later it confirmed he had been placed on leave pending an investigation.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2020/02/06/rush-limbaugh-cancer-diagnosis-milwaukee-teacher-leave-after-tweet/4679253002/




Yeah no, we don’t encourage that kind of thing here. And if there’s one thing that you never, ever do, it’s piss off the cult. Because they will hold a grudge against you well into the next century. But here’s one thing that you should never, ever do – don’t ever, EVER celebrate that someone else has cancer, because it’s a shitty disease no matter who has it. And if you’re like the above teacher, really, there’s no time or place for that. Leave it to yourself.

Rush Limbaugh told his listeners on Monday that he has advanced lung cancer and, of course, social media lit up with partisan responses to the dire diagnosis revealed by America’s best known conservative radio talk show host.

This isn’t the first time Limbaugh has experienced hardship. It’s been reported that he was addicted to prescription drugs and he’s suffered a profound hearing loss, for example.

But cancer is something else altogether.

“This day has been one of the most difficult days in recent memory for me. I’ve known this moment is coming in the program,” Limbaugh said in comments quoted by national publications. “I’m sure that you all know by now that I really don’t like talking about myself and I don’t like making things about me. I like this program to be about you and the things that matter to all of us.”

We don’t know if Limbaugh’s diagnosis states that he has a short time left or if his situation is more hopeful than that. But we do know this, or at least we should: This news should not be met with celebration. It should not be met with laughter and high-fives. It should not be met with Twitter memes or wicked witch analogies.
https://www.mercedsunstar.com/opinion/article239926218.html





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[font size="8"]Sarah Sanders
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From: Idiots #7-3

Cassandra W. from Burlington, Vermont writes:

“Kaleigh McElenay is unbearable! What did we do to deserve her?”


Cassandra, keep in mind that Kayleigh is just another in the long list of airheads who have been at the helm as Trump’s press secretary. We expect her to be fired any day now and be replaced with an even dumber replacement.




I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!! Yes, my pretties, I am back for the latest installment because people keep leaving this administration so it is my duty to report on it and make fun of it while I imbibe on this freshly carbonated alcoholic beverage! Damn it, Charlie… oh wait that’s right, Charlie left in the last episode that we did this so I must confide in my new assistant Nathaniel. So I say, Nathaniel… bring me the champagne! This week, it was Tribute Sanders from the 1st district who was eliminated, and Tribute Sanders has been in the Trump administration the longest! In fact, Tribute Sanders was at one point considered a lock to win the whole games. What was the final straw that broke the camel’s back? Well it might have been this.

White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders is leaving the Trump administration after a turbulent tenure marked by attacks on the media, dissemination of false information and the near-disappearance of the daily press briefing.

“Our wonderful Sarah Huckabee Sanders will be leaving the White House at the end of the month and going home to the Great State of Arkansas,” President Donald Trump said Thursday in a tweet.

Speaking at a White House event later Thursday, Sanders said it was the “honor of a lifetime” to serve in the Trump administration. “I’ve loved every minute -- even the hard minutes,” she said.

Asked by reporters later whether she plans to run for governor in her native Arkansas, she didn’t rule it out.
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2019-06-13/sanders-to-resign-as-white-house-press-secretary-trump-says




Ah it’s good to be back! I mean can you imagine having to be in her position and having to lie 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for what is essentially the world’s biggest reality show? I know I cannot! So Tribute Sanders has resigned, what is next for her? I know! Let’s put her in charge of running the entire state of Arkansas, I mean how hard could it be?

White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders has resigned and will leave the job by the end of June.

This was announced by President Donald Trump on Thursday.

“After 3 1/2 years, our wonderful Sarah Huckabee Sanders will be leaving the White House at the end of the month and going home to the Great State of Arkansas,” Trump tweeted on Thursday afternoon.

Trump also advised her to accept a political role and run for the office of Arkansas governor.

Sarah Sanders has been the press secretary since July 2017. She was deputy press secretary when Trump took over in 2016 and later succeeded Sean Spicer.

Sarah belongs to a political family. Her father, Michael Dale Huckabee, popular as Mike Huckabee was the 44th governor of Arkansas from 1996 to 2007.
https://www.ibtimes.com/sarah-huckabee-sanders-resigns-could-run-governor-arkansas-2800572




Now to be fair, Mr. President, that would give Sarah Sanders more political experience than you had when you ran for the highest office in the land. Remember when the republicans said that they didn’t want a “celebrity” running the show? Oh wait, they elected Ronald Reagan and now they support President Trump, whose cabinet is the largest revolving door ever. What poor sap, er, prospect is going to replace Tribute Sanders? I mean the only qualifications are that you have to lie 24 hours a day in an administration that has seen everything from Nazi camps to accidental war. Good luck! Well, meet Tribute Grisham from the 10th District!

A spokeswoman for Melania Trump known for issuing terse but pointed public comments will take over as White House press secretary, the First Lady announced Tuesday.

The former owner of an Arizona public relations firm, Stephanie Grisham has been with the Trump team since 2015, most recently serving as Melania Trump’s deputy chief of staff and communications director. She had been seen as a top contender for the White House press secretary job since Sanders announced her resignation from the position earlier this month.

In recent months, the White House press secretary has been less visible, with Sanders setting records for the number of days since the last press briefing, a question-and-answer period often covered live on cable TV that was standard in previous administrations.

At the time that Sanders’ departure was announced on June 13, she had not held a formal press briefing in more than 90 days.
https://time.com/5613967/stephanie-grisham-white-house-press-secretary/



Wait, there had been no formal press briefings in 90 days? Shit, during the previous administration, we knew what the president had for breakfast. Blueberry waffles with whip cream, light syrup, and a glass of orange juice. But that said, this latest tribute is going to be in for a wild ride as the Trump administration goes full in on Nazism. But for now, consider Tribute Sanders… ELIMINATED!!!

Sarah Huckabee Sanders will resign from her position as White House press secretary at the end of the month, President Trump announced on Twitter Thursday afternoon.

Sanders, the daughter of former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee, succeeded Sean Spicer as White House press secretary in July 2017. She first joined the administration as Spicer’s deputy after joining the Trump campaign as a communications aide in the wake of her father’s failed presidential bid in 2016.

The traditional White House press-briefing process broke down on Sanders’s watch. She last held a briefing on March 11, 94 days ago, and earlier in her tenure, when briefings were more frequent, she was routinely accused of misleading reporters from the White House podium and contradicting Trump’s public statements.

Most recently, Sanders was pilloried after Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s report revealed that she had misled reporters about Trump’s motivations for firing former FBI director James Comey.
https://www.nationalreview.com/news/sarah-sanders-to-resign-at-end-of-june/





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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Student Loan Crisis
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From: Idiots #7-6

Stephen R. from Denver, Colorado writes:

“You know I really supported Bernie Sanders during the primaries. He had a lot of good policies. What happened?”


Well, Stephen, there’s no explanation as to why Bernie didn’t make it further in the primaries. But we do agree that he had some good policies.


It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!



Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders has made the student loan crisis the center of his 2020 campaign for president of the United States. Sanders and Warren have both made the loan crisis the underlying issue of their respective campaigns, but how do they plan to fix it? And just how broken is the system that puts new graduates under a gigantic mountain of absolutely crushing debt? Well, there’s plenty of reasons how the system got this bad. If you look at right wing media, they’re blaming everything from the parents to Obamacare, and in reality none of these things are fueling the crisis.

With the growth in student loans continuing to soar, politicians and borrowers struggling with an issue that’s become both a financial and political problem.

Presidential candidates are proposing to cancel student debt and make public college free, state legislators are cracking down on student-loan companies and, recently, government agencies have offered another approach — teaching students and borrowers more about finances.

The Treasury Department recommended earlier this month that colleges should require students to take financial-literacy courses and representatives from the Department of Education told a group of financial-aid professionals this week that the agency is planning to add robust financial literacy tools to the app students can use to apply for financial aid and manage their student loans.

These proposals come after years of colleges across the country experimenting with ways to teach their students good financial habits and provide them with more information about their loans. The idea behind these efforts is to help students manage their finances while they’re in school and once they graduate.
https://www.marketwatch.com/story/why-financial-education-wont-solve-the-15-trillion-student-loan-crisis-2019-06-27




So really you can blame anything you want but in reality it’s a combination of America’s extremely loose business regulation laws, out of control loan interest rates, stagnant wages, and very slim chances of employment once you graduate. In fact if you want to see out of control debt at work, look no further than the state of Florida. Florida has a plan to do something about it, but then again this is Florida we are talking about here.

In the U.S., 43 million people carry school debt totaling more than $1.4 trillion. Student loans are the second-highest debt category behind mortgages. In Florida, 2.4 million Floridians owe $85.5 billion.

That’s largely because tuition hikes have outpaced wage increases and inflation. Between 2006 and 2016, the price of college tuition and fees increased 61 percent, compared with 21 percent for other items, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

Many students rely on loans to pay tuition bills and other college expenses. Federal Judge Michael Williamson said he often asks young attorneys whether they have student debt, and “everyone raises their hand.”

“That didn’t exist when I went to law school," said Williamson, the chief bankruptcy judge for the Middle District of Florida, who graduated from Georgetown University’s program in 1976.
[Popular on OrlandoSentinel.com] Vera Asian to bring ‘sushi robot’ to Orlando’s Creative Village »

Williamson, who signed the order outlining the program, described the country’s debt crisis as “tragic.”
https://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/education/os-ne-bankruptcy-student-loans-20190715-aeti72wcovhuzfczhngeslmstq-story.html


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Yes, it needs to be fixed, but what can be done? Well, private corporations – many of which are blamed for causing this mess – are coming up with unique and innovative ways to fix it. One such solution is to stop risk free loans. And the risk part is what many are blaming for this crisis as it has created a scenario where interest rates are in the double digits meaning that there’s a good possibility they will never be paid back. So let’s cancel it entirely.

After snowballing for a generation, the student-loan crisis has taken center stage in the 2020 race to the White House, at least for Democratic contenders. Candidates are promising everything from tuition-free college to debt forgiveness.

Even President Donald Trump has considered capping payments at 12.5 percent of discretionary income and forgiving loans when they reach 15 years.

None of these proposals, however, strikes at the root: no-questions-asked loans backed by the federal government. Student loans as an entitlement is a dogma harming both the nation and the recipients. Doubling down will enrich bloated university administrations, but it will only make the crisis worse—even if the cost is buried in outlandish federal deficits.

If we ignore the injustice to those who have paid or are paying their loans studiously, the federal government is still in no position to bail out a $1.56 trillion combined debt load, and that doesn’t include future loans. About 44.7 million Americans hold a federal student loan, and roughly half are paying back. One third are in default, deferment, or forbearance, and the remainder are still in school.
https://www.theepochtimes.com/a-solution-to-the-student-loan-crisis-no-more-risk-free-loans_3002623.html




But again while we can play the blame game and blame literally everyone but the 800 pound gorilla in the room, the proposals by Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren both highlight the real problem: our extremely loose corporate lax of corporate regulations that got us into this mess. Remember – capitalism is not the problem. It’s the deregulation of capitalism that is the problem.

U.S. Sen. Elizabeth Warren, a Massachusetts Democrat who helped create the federal agency that oversees student loan servicers, has come out in favor of a bill that would let Massachusetts institute its own laws to govern the industry.

Warren last week wrote a letter to the chairs of the state Legislature’s Joint Committee on Consumer Protection and Professional Licensure in support of a bill filed by Sen. Eric Lesser, D-Longmeadow, and Rep. Natalie Higgins, D-Leominster, to create a “student loan bill of rights” and let the state license and regulate student loan servicers.

Warren, a candidate for president in 2020, wrote in the letter that students today are “drowning in student loan debt.”

“Student loan servicing companies worsen this crisis by making it harder and harder for struggling student loan borrowers to stay afloat,” she wrote.

Warren, as a Harvard Law School professor, was instrumental in creating the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau under President Barack Obama. The CFPB regulates industries including debt collection, and it has an ombudsman to handle complaints related to student loans.
https://www.masslive.com/politics/2019/07/us-sen-elizabeth-warren-supports-massachusetts-bill-to-regulate-student-loan-servicers.html




That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.




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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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From: Idiots #5-14

Erin F. from Lynchburg, Virginia writes:

“Proud Virginia voter for Joe Biden here! We flipped the hometown of Liberty University! Remember they have that guy who could predict the future? What happened to that guy this year?”


We are glad that Lynchburg flipped! And that guy is Mark Taylor, the so called “Firefighter Prophet”, and Liberty University not only made this guy a celebrity among extreme RW groups, they inexplicably made a movie about him!


Gather around, my fair brothers and sisters, it’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For the Holy Church of the Top 10 has convened and it’s our weekly duty to remind you why the holiest among us are also the most full of:



My friends, my fair congregation! Remember in that movie “The Dark Knight” when Batman only had one rule and that he would never break it for anybody? Well tonight I am actually going to break my one rule. And that rule is that I never mention the unholy, ungodly Dark One by name in my church! But when there’s a movie being made about unforeseen prophecies surrounding the Dark One, as told by a crackpot, I feel that I must break character!

Early one morning in 2011, retired Florida firefighter Mark Taylor was wrestling with another bout of insomnia. After years working at Orlando’s busy Station 2, Taylor struggled with depression, suicidal thoughts and symptoms of PTSD.

Taylor says he also was being visited by demons, angels, even God. And on that sleepless morning, God gave him a surprising prophecy: “The Spirit of God says I’ve chosen this man Donald Trump for such a time as this.”

“The Trump Prophecy,” a movie showing here and in 1,200 theaters nationwide Tuesday and Thursday, claims God’s intervention decided the 2016 election, not Hillary hatred, white anger, Russian interference or low voter turnout.

Producer Rick Eldridge says his movie has a clear purpose: “Our end goal is to get people in theaters and see a film that will reignite patriotism and call people to pray for our country and leadership.”
https://gazette.com/life/the-trump-prophecy-movie-claims-god-chose-u-s-president/article_a0f9dc14-ba84-11e8-b6ad-77b01ad16d11.html




No, Rick, your end goal is to preach to the choir of supporters of the unholy dark one that their batshit crazy theories are justified! And that Dark One’s name? Donald J. Trump. There, I said it! And you know this movie is a direct violation of IRS tax exempt rules. And also apparently it violates Facebook advertising policies!

Fireman Mark Taylor correctly predicted the presidency of Donald Trump, but “The Trump Prophecy” filmmakers didn’t foresee having their advertisements pulled from Facebook.

The film, scheduled for a fall theatrical release, is about Taylor’s life and 2011 prediction that Trump would ascend to the White House. A joint effort of the Liberty University School of Cinematic Arts and filmmaker Rick Eldridge, The Trump Prophecy was shot in the Lynchburg area with much of the cast and crew comprised of LU students. It now is in post-production.

The Trump Prophecy, previously known by its working title “Commander,” is scheduled for release on Oct. 2 and 4. Nearly 60 LU cinematic arts students were involved in the production.

In all, he claimed Facebook disapproved “approximately 40 different ads” for the film.

The issue dates back to at least June 14 when it was first noted by the film’s Facebook page.

“It seems that Facebook has now began censoring our page. For a movie??? Because the word TRUMP, Facebook has decided to disapprove any ads that we are placing and capping our exposure. Do they feel threatened in some way?” reads the post on The Trump Prophecy page, which Eldridge and the Reelworks Studios advertising team manage.
https://www.newsadvance.com/news/local/lu-film-the-trump-prophecy-runs-afoul-of-facebook-ad/article_68550eb3-51bb-5293-bf38-bb723a12c48a.html




Because nothing is worse than a bunch of falsehood nonsense told by a crackpot is there? And you guys are mad when you violated Facebook’s rules are you? Well, you have nobody to blame but yourself, for the good LAWRD sayeth “man must not blame others for his own musings.” Yes it says so in my good book here. So was this election GAWD’s plan? Or was it not???

Mark Taylor is sure he knows why Donald Trump became president.

Forget Hillary hatred, white anger, Russian interference or voter turnout. Trump’s victory was God’s will, said Taylor. Taylor said he knows this because God told him so.

In 2011, while watching an interview with Trump on TV, Taylor says he heard a voice saying, “The Spirit of God says I’ve chosen this man, Donald Trump, for such a time as this.”

And the Almighty is just getting started, said Taylor, a former firefighter who has published 23 “prophetic words,” many about Trump’s presidency.

The presidential prediction is detailed in “The Trump Prophecy,” a new film produced with the help of faculty and students at Liberty University — some of whom later rejected its message — that will be shown in some 1,200 theaters on Oct. 2 and 4.
https://www.sltrib.com/religion/2018/09/25/new-trump-prophecy-film/




Now I do love that one! So is GAWD just getting started? Or do we need to remind you of the kind of crackpot that Mark Taylor is? And yes, he is a crackpot ladies and gentlemen of my fair congregation, because this is the kind of nonsense you can expect from Mr. Taylor!

Mark Taylor, the so-called “firefighter prophet” and radical conspiracy theorist who is the subject of a new movie premiering this week, appeared on Chris McDonald’s “The Mc Files” program on Friday, where he again asserted that opposition to Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh is all about trying to prevent President Trump from establishing military tribunals in order to prosecute and execute Democratic leaders like Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.

“This has everything to do with military tribunals, them being charged with treason, and them going to prison for the rest of their lives and some being executed,” he said.

Taylor claimed that God recently delivered a huge “prophetic sign” of this plan when a horse named after Obama had to be euthanized at the World Equestrian Games in North Carolina last month.

“God’s been speaking a lot to me through racehorses,” he said. “The racehorse named Barack Obama was euthanized. That is probably the biggest prophetic sign that you could have of God saying this man is going to go down. Period. That’s the bottom line. You can get mad at me all you want to, but God’s the messenger here, he is the one sending the message. People don’t think that this stuff is real or it’s going to happen. It’s going to happen.”

“This is real,” Taylor insisted. “Justice is not coming, it’s here, period, and it is taking place on the earth. This whole thing with Kavanaugh is trying to stop the military tribunals … This is all about rounding these people up, charging them with treason, and they know that, basically, their head is going to be in a noose, literally.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/god-has-been-using-racehorses-to-speak-to-mark-taylor-about-plans-to-execute-democrats/




Really? This bullshit is still a thing? That’s why you are going to get your asses handed to you in November, and yes, I realized I just violated the IRS rules there! But then again, so did Liberty University, and they should pay dearly for this! But then again, Mark also claims that GAWD confirmed his SCOTUS prophecy with a train horn. Can you spell “crackpot”?

Mark Taylor, the so-called “firefighter prophet” and radical conspiracy theorist about whom Liberty University is making a movie, appeared on SkyWatch TV yesterday, where he explained how God used a train whistle to confirm that He was going to use President Trump to reshape the Supreme Court.

After Taylor recounted his claims that God told him that Trump will get to replace a total of five Supreme Court justices after one dies, one retires, and three are removed from the Court due to scandal, he explained how God confirmed this prophecy to him during the funeral service for the late Antonin Scalia.

“If you go back to Antonin Scalia’s funeral, when they were carrying his body up the steps” Taylor said, “there were two signs that were given by God that [the confirmation of Merrick Garland] was not going to happen. We had about an eight month window there where they could have put another justice in and the entire country was in a full-blown panic at that point and that’s when I came out with the prophecy that the Lord said, ‘No, it will not happen, this is being reserved for Donald Trump.'”

“The two signs that were given,” he continued, “there was a reverence there, it was very quiet and there was a siren in the background at the bottom of the steps. Well, when they got to the top of the steps, the siren fades away and all of a sudden you hear this enormous train horn and what the Lord was saying was, ‘Don’t fear America, help is on the way—the siren—this is being reserved for my anointed, Trump—from the Trump train.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/mark-taylor-god-confirmed-my-scotus-prophecy-with-a-train-horn/




Yes, Mark, even JAYSUS thinks you’re doing it wrong!! For your crackpot theories about the Dark One are just that – crackpot theories! There you go, mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:



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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Moscow Mitch
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From: Idiots #7-11

Jake P. from Augusta, Georgia, writes:

“Mitch McConnell got elected again!!! But I was wondering – where did he get the nickname “Moscow Mitch from?”


It’s truly inexplicable that the people of America hate Mitch McConnell’s guts and that he keeps getting elected over and over. As for where the name comes from, maybe this will shed some light for you!




We’ve all had terrible nicknames. Just ask anyone who’s ever been through grade school. I mean remember in grade school when kids used to just call kids “Poopyhead McBoogerface” and that would be the end of it? Thank god we’re not kids in the social media era, where you can get called about 600 racist slurs on Twitter and not get in trouble for it. But you know what? We get over it. And also, we’re not the Senate Majority Leader, Mitch McConnell. So in case you don’t follow the social media sphere, Mitch McConnell has been given the nickname “Moscow Mitch” for his inability to act on gun reform legislation that is designed to save lives and get guns out of the hands of the extremely dangerous. So why does Mitch have his underwear in a wad over this subject?

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, R-Ky., complained to right-wing radio host Hugh Hewitt on Tuesday that "Moscow Mitch," the nickname given to the top Republican by critics of his decision to block election security legislation despite documented evidence of Russian interference in the 2016 elections, was "over the top" and a form of "modern-day McCarthyism."

After Hewitt referred to the disparaging moniker as "McCarthyism," the Senate Majority Leader responded that "I mean, it’s modern-day McCarthyism. Unbelievable for a Cold Warrior like me who spent a career standing up to the Russians to be given a moniker like that. It’s an effort to smear me. You know, I can laugh about things like the 'Grim Reaper,' but calling me 'Moscow Mitch' is over the top."

Hewitt agreed, telling McConnell that "it is simply an assertion that you’re doing the bidding of Moscow, which is, of course, pure McCarthyism. I thought we were past that in this country. I really did, and especially if you’ve overseen the biggest defense spending hikes out of the Congress in a decade."

Historically speaking, McCarthyism did not refer merely to politicians who were viewed as being soft on Russia but rather those who were specifically perceived as being sympathetic to communism. McCarthyists attacked liberals by implying that their progressive politics meant they were emotionally aligned, if not outright betraying America toward, authoritarian states like China and the Soviet Union. The term "Moscow Mitch," by contrast, is not used to disparage McConnell's ideology but instead to call him out for his opposition to take up election security legislation that would prevent Russia from further meddling in America's democratic process, as it did in the 2016 elections.
https://www.salon.com/2019/09/04/mcconnell-really-really-really-does-not-like-it-when-you-call-him-moscow-mitch/




Yeah boo fucking hoo, Mitch! And you know what? If you can dish it out, you can almost certainly take it! So our Senate Majority Leader is as much of a crybaby as @realDonaldTrump is. I say let’s keep calling him that, and if he would ever come out of his shell and do his job he might actually I don’t know, be respected? Ah who are we kidding! This is the Trump administration we’re talking about here, the Senate is as corrupt as the White House. So who’s mocking who, Mitch?

Sticks and stones may break his bones, but poor Mitch McConnell thinks words hurt him, too.

The Senate majority leader is distressed that people are calling him names. First there was “Moscow Mitch” (because he refuses to do anything significant to stop Russian interference in U.S. elections), and then there was “Massacre Mitch” and even “Murder Turtle” (because he refuses to take up gun-violence legislation despite massacre after massacre). At the risk of hurting the Kentucky Republican’s tender feelings still further, I suggest another moniker: Muzzle Mitch.

McConnell, who styles himself a champion of free speech, has lately not been such a fan of free speech directed against him. The psychological boo-boos done to his thin skin have stirred him to hypocrisy.

On radio host (and Post contributor) Hugh Hewitt’s show this week, McConnell renewed his complaint that calling him Moscow Mitch is unacceptable — “modern-day McCarthyism,” he said. “You know, I can laugh about things like the Grim Reaper, but calling me Moscow Mitch is over the top.”
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/a-new-nickname-for-mcconnell-muzzle-mitch/2019/09/04/ad078212-cf47-11e9-8c1c-7c8ee785b855_story.html




Come on, Mitch!! Time to come out of your shell already! I’m sure he’s probably still pissed about getting called a turtle from way back when on the Jon Stewart Show. Although McCarthyism, do you really want to go there? And did you even know what McCarthyism is? I can give you a history lesson because you probably slept through that history class. But this is neither the time nor the place. Instead we’ll just continue to make fun of you until you do your job. I mean come on, even Nancy Pelosi is taking some jabs at you!

“I was called unpatriotic, un-American and essentially treasonous by a couple of left-wing pundits on the basis of bold-faced lies. I was accused of aiding and abetting the very man I’ve singled out as an adversary and opposed for nearly 20 years, Vladimir Putin,” McConnell said in a speech on the Senate floor.

McConnell accused critics in the media, specifically The Washington Post and MSNBC, of engaging in "unhinged smears," calling it "modern-day McCarthyism.”

The Washington Post, at the time, published an opinion column headlined "Mitch McConnell is a Russian asset," while MSNBC's Joe Scarborough called McConnell "Moscow Mitch" and attacked his decision to block the election security bills as "un-American."

The bills blocked by McConnell would require the use of paper ballots and direct candidates or campaigns to notify the FBI about offers of assistance from foreign governments.
https://thehill.com/homenews/house/457419-pelosi-refers-to-mcconnell-as-moscow-mitch




Moscow Mitch is nothing compared to the kind of insults that guy can dish out! And by the way if you think there’s a republican double standard on nicknames, well, I got news for ya! There’s republican double standards on everything, and it’s always the worst kind of discrimination – it’s the kind against them! These fuckers can dish it out, but they sure as hell can’t take it!

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell doesn't like it when you call him #MoscowMitch. He hates it so much that he'll accuse you of being a McCarthyist for doing so. If the accusation was untrue — that is, if McConnell, President Donald Trump and other Republicans weren't empowering Russia at the expense of America for their personal benefit — then #MoscowMitch and talk of collusion in Trump's 2016 presidential campaign would be unfair, even unjust. As the facts currently stand, however, it is a perfectly fair label.

They still are not McCarthyist, though, because McCarthyism wasn't really about hating Russia — it was about hating liberals.

A quick history lesson. Joseph McCarthy was a United States senator from Wisconsin who served between 1947 and 1957. His political heyday, however, lasted from 1950 to 1954. On February 9, 1950, he delivered an infamous speech in Wheeling, West Virginia in which he claimed without evidence that he had "a list of 205 [State Department employees] that were known to the Secretary of State as being members of the Communist Party and who nevertheless are still working and shaping the policy of the State Department." Notice that he did not say "Russians" or "traitors to Russia." This isn't because the Soviet Union (the empire controlled by Russia during the bulk of the 20th century) wasn't America's primary geopolitical enemy at the time, or that there wasn't a valid and widespread fear of that nation. Rather it is because the assumption wasn't simply that people would betray America to Russia, but that they would do so because the Soviet Union's authoritarian left-wing ideology was being conflated with all forms of liberalism. When McCarthy warned of "Communists," he was using a dog whistle to vilify anyone whose beliefs were to the left of what he and his supporters deemed acceptable.
https://www.salon.com/2019/08/11/keep-calling-him-moscowmitch-mcconnell-is-finally-running-scared/





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[font size="8"]This Fucking Guy: Mike Lindell
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Jorge Q. from El Paso, Texas writes:

“Hey Top 10, how come I keep seeing that My Pillow guy everywhere?”


Well Jorge, we don’t have a clear answer on that, but we do know that come 6 weeks from now, he won’t be hanging out at the White House anymore.




This week’s This Fucking Guy is the CEO of My Pillow, Mike Lindell. And for the sake of this piece, I’m going to refer to him as the “My Pillow Guy”. So My Pillow Guy is a rising star in the GOP because he’s somewhat of a minor commercial celebrity. And the GOP loves them some weird celebrities, whether it’s Meat Loaf, Ted Nugent, Jon Voight, or washed up televangelist Jimmy Swaggart. The Dems get all the cool celebrities, the GOP gets a guy who hawks cheap pillows. And he’s something of a minor celebrity because he’s been seen with everything from cardboard cutouts to partying with Trump on New Year’s Eve at Mar-A-Shithole . Yes, that makes him a rising star in the GOP. And well he can pretty much do anything right? Well, what are his qualifications exactly?

Mike Lindell drew on a cast of about a dozen employees — some of them family — all gathered at his MyPillow warehouse in Shakopee on a recent morning to help pack and label freshly signed copies of his new autobiography.

Seated nearby was his 29-year-old son, Darren, newly minted as the company’s next chief operating officer, Lindell explained, suggesting a change of plans in the near future.

“In case we do anything political, we’re setting up the stage,” Lindell said, pausing to make sure his statement was on the record.

More than two years after brushing aside speculation that he was eyeing a run for office, the 58-year-old mustachioed infomercial maven is becoming less coy about his political future amid renewed calls from state Republicans that he help reverse a long string of defeats in statewide races. Along the way, he has become President Donald Trump’s highest-profile backer in Minnesota and openly inviting speculation about his own political ambition.

A former crack cocaine addict, Lindell is now readying a series of rallies across the state that will blend his new faith-based Lindell Recovery Network while also promoting both the president’s re-election bid and Minnesota Republican congressional candidates.
http://www.startribune.com/mypillow-inventor-open-to-speculation-about-2022-bid-for-governor/567232052/




That’s right, in the GOP, all you have to do is say what they want to hear, trash dems, and blame everything on abortion, you’ve got it made in the shade, yo! So My Pillow Guy could be the next governor of Minnesota, an esteemed position previously held by fellow GOP celebrity Jesse “The Body” Ventura. You know for a party that claims they loathe celebrities, they sure do elect a lot of celebrities, don’t they? I’ll take that one, thank you! So how good are My Pillows? Let’s ask the experts!

Is a sore, stiff neck upon waking telling you that it’s time for a new bed pillow?

For the first time, Consumer Reports rates 10 bed pillows in its February issue. Part of the reason the magazine hasn’t yet rated them was figuring out the best way to test them. The consumer nonprofit landed on a series of machines and sensors that measure matting, moisture and temperature as well as human subjective impressions.

The consumer organization said it devoted about 200 hours per pillow for testing, gathering hundreds of data points.

Pillow brands included a mixture of traditional such as Tempur-Pedic and Sealy, bed-in-box companies such as Casper, which filed for an initial public offering on Friday, and Minnesota companies such as Shakopee-based MyPillow and Minneapolis-based Target.

Two MyPillows were rated, the Premium ($80) and the Classic ($40). Neither received the organization’s “recommended” rating, but the Premium landed in the top half.
http://www.startribune.com/consumer-reports-rates-pillows-for-first-time-mypillow-did-ok/566814652/




So $80 for a single marginal pillow endorsed by a former crack addict? No thanks, I like my pillows endorsed by Ambien addicts, because if anyone knows sleep, it’s people who will take a drug that will make them do weird shit when they sleep! And in case you’re wondering My Pillow Guy’s GOP street cred, well he’s got plenty of it! He’s even got the same lawyers that they do! And of course if Rudy Guiliani is any indication, the GOP has a great track record there!

A brief refresher: Wardlow was the Republican Party of Minnesota's nominee for Attorney General. Prior to that campaign, Wardlow spent his time litigating for the hyper-conservative Alliance Defending Freedom, fighting to keep trans kids out of the bathrooms where they felt most comfortable. In his private life, Wardlow had once bullied a gay classmate so much the victim attempted suicide.

As a candidate, Wardlow promised to keep the office staunchly apolitical... but also promised if he won, he’d literally fire “42 Democratic attorneys right off the bat” and replace them with Republicans. That didn't happen: Despite sketchy campaign spending and some sketchy campaign lit, on Wardlow's part, Ellison beat him 48 percent to 45 percent. (Another 6 percent went to a third-party candidate who begged his supporters to vote for Ellison to stop Wardlow.)

So, again, no judgement here if your 2019's been Wardlow-free. But Wardlow definitely hasn’t stopped thinking about Ellison. Every week or two, his Twitter and Facebook accounts throw out updates on the attorney general, accusing him of pushing a “radical political agenda.”

He's also still fundraising for his campaign, as of November, even though Ellison's not up for reelection until 2022.
http://www.citypages.com/news/oh-cool-mypillows-mike-lindells-new-lawyer-is-doug-wardlow/566572771




Nothing to see here, please disperse! Yup, it’s a good old fashioned GOP circle jerk! Featuring My Pillow Guy and a failed candidate who should probably not quit his day job. Sure, the GOP and the Christian right love this guy because he’s a self-made go getter who overcame addiction and built a global business empire. That’s the American dream right? Well, he’s using the money he made from his day job to finance his weekend job – ending legalized abortion. If you want this guy to be your next governor, Minnesota, you’d better be paying attention to what he’s doing behind the scenes!

An anti-abortion feature film partially financed by Michael Lindell, the CEO and founder of MyPillow and an ally of President Trump, will reportedly be nationally distributed by a Christian movie studio.

The movie, "Unplanned," follows a young woman who resigns from her place of work (a Planned Parenthood clinic) and renounces the practice of abortion, according to The Washington Times, which reports that the movie has been picked up for national distribution by Pure Flix studios.

"We had other offers but felt they would be our strongest partner because of the great success we've had together in the past," said co-writer Chuck Konzelman, according to The Hollywood Reporter.

In a trailer for the movie, the woman reportedly is warned not to defy Planned Parenthood, which is described in the movie as "one of the most powerful organizations on the planet."

The movie's script was reportedly written by the writers behind the Christian movies “God’s Not Dead” and “God’s Not Dead 2,” according to the Times, which noted that Lindell, who has attended rallies and White House events on the president's behalf, invested $1 million in the film's production.
https://thehill.com/homenews/media/427927-anti-abortion-movie-financed-by-mypillow-founder-to-get-nationwide




That’s My Pillow Guy, this week’s:




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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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From: Idiots #8-11

Jared K. from Gainesville, Florida writes:

“Why do you guys hate Florida so much? What did we ever do to you?”


Jared, we don’t hate Florida! We love Florida! In fact we were planning a huge Florida tour similar to our Texas tour two years ago before COVID hit. And we might be returning to that next fall.


Hit it!



Of course you know by now that people are people and people are dumb. And as such whenever we visit the great state of Florida, we have to do a special all Florida man edition of People Are Dumb. Look, Florida, we kid. But you do bring the crazy extra hard. And before we get into this, I want to give a shout out to the @Floridaman_ Twitter feed that really just goes beyond to keep track of all the crazy happening in the Sunshine State. Let’s start with this story out of Miami. Sigh here’s the thing people, we may hate Trump here and everything that he stands for. But let’s condone any acts of violence against him or his properties or the people in them. That said, this story has some of everything that makes Florida insane and weird.
A Connecticut woman chastised for dancing on her car at a Palm Beach hotel late Friday morning ended up driving away and crashing her vehicle through two security barricades outside Mar-a-Lago, President Donald Trump’s private club and home, drawing gunfire from law enforcement officers, before leading a police helicopter on a chase that ended in her arrest.

Hannah Roemhild, 30, a trained opera singer, is now in the custody of the Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office.

“This is not a terrorist thing,” Palm Beach Sheriff Ric Bradshaw said at a Friday afternoon news conference. “This is somebody that obviously was impaired somehow.”

Roemhild could face charges for assault on both federal and county law enforcement officers, Bradshaw said. No one was injured, although the situation might have easily ended differently, officials indicated.

Trump was not at Mar-a-Lago at the time, but he was expected to arrive at the club Friday evening. The White House said the fracas would not disrupt the president’s travel plans.
https://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/community/miami-dade/article239840653.html?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter




That’s right, Dude! Next up, we go to the city of Orlando for this one. And here’s the thing, if you don’t have anything creative to write when you’re hammered and you’ve got a can of spray paint, maybe the best thing to do is just walk away. But not for this guy who painted – I shit you not – the word “slur” on the bathroom wall. This is a thing that happened!

A Florida man who spray painted the word "slur" in a bar bathroom was found with spray cans still in his backpack, according to the Melbourne Police Department.

Police said a witness saw Paul Scott, 24, walk into the men's restroom at Mugs Pub Sunday night with his backpack and when he left, there was wet pink paint on the wall that read, "slur."

When police approached Scott, they said he initially told them he had been in the bar for about 15 minutes and during that time, he had one beer before an employee asked him to leave.

According to authorities, they could hear the sound of aluminum cans coming from Scott's backpack and when they searched it, they found spray paint bottles, and an empty bottle that was still wet, in the same shade of pink as the graffiti inside the restroom.
https://www.clickorlando.com/strange-florida/2019/09/16/florida-man-spray-paints-the-word-slur-in-bar-bathroom-police-say/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter




Next up, we’re going to stay in the city of Orlando – what’s up with Orlando this week? They’re taking double doses of crazy pills! Anyway, I don’t know much about boating, nor will I claim to know anything about boating, but I’m pretty sure this is not how the gas tank on a boat is supposed to operate. But it’s also probably best not to get the fire department involved in your own stupidity as well.

Mistakenly inserting a fuel nozzle into a fishing pole slot, a Florida man pumped $60 worth of gasoline onto the deck of his boat and the ground of a gas station, fire rescue officials said.

The incident happened Monday in the Orlando area, Orange County Fire Rescue spokesman Mike Jachles said on Twitter.

The gas flowed from the fishing pole hole and onto the deck of the 24-foot (7.3 meters) boat. The 31-year-old man realized his mistake and quit pumping.

As he tried to clean up the mess, the gasoline began leaking from the boat onto the ground at the 7-Eleven store. He told personnel and then called the fire department's non-emergency number, Jachles said.

A technical rescue team siphoned the gas from the boat and cleaned up. The situation was described as a “level 3 hazmat,” meaning the potential of hazard was high, Jachles said.
https://abcnews.go.com/Weird/wireStory/florida-mistakenly-man-pumps-60-gas-deck-boat-68645430?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter




Unless of course you have it inserted in the wrong hole. Yes, thank you sir! That’s what she said! Finally – we go to South Florida and the city of Fort Lauderdale for this one. So we’ve all been the victims of credit and debit card fraud at some point. Because there’s a lot of sleazebags out there to get their hands on your data. But this next story asks a lot of questions, namely, how does one spend $68 at Little Caesars?

A Florida man has been accused of using a Marshfield woman's debit card to purchase $68 in Little Caesar's pizza.

According to to a Marshfield Police Department police report, Elle Wolf of Marshfield had a transaction on her bank statement from a Fort Lauderdale, Florida Little Caesar's location without her consent.

The report says the unidentified Florida man purchased one bacon wrapped deep dish pizza, three stuffed crust pizzas, and three orders of Caesar wings and had delivered to his address via Door Dash.

The charge of $68.80 currently has a process hold on the charge at Wolf's financial institution.
https://www.weau.com/content/news/Florida-man-uses-Wisconsin-womans-debit-card-information-to-buy-pizza-567499701.html?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter




That’s it this week for:




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[font size="8"]Stupidest State Contest: Selection Sunday
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From: Idiots #6-16

”Brittany C. from Coquitlam, British Columbia writes:

“Will Stupidest State be coming back in 2021? I love that segment!”


Well Brittany, we have an answer for you, and that answer is hell yes! In fact we hope since it starts in late March that we’ll be able to bring back the full live production you know and love! We’ll announce the schedule during our Christmas Best Of! Until then, here’s a preview of what you can expect!”


16 states will enter and only one state will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!



We are in the home stretch here, people! Last week, Alabama showed Mississippi who’s boss in the Family Values Conference by absolutely putting on an epic show and routing them by a whopping 24 points to win the Family Values Conference and set the tone for the Flyover League championship. Now we go to the Layover League as the Batshit Conference Championship commences! It’s Kentucky vs red hot newcomer Georgia in a winner take all contest! We’re live in Ontario, California at the home of the Ontario Reign and UC Riverside, the Citizens Business Bank Arena, for all the action! Who will become the new kings of guano? We will find out! Let’s break out the brackets so you can follow along!



[font size="4"]Kentucky Vs Georgia[/font]

[font size="4"]Kentucky[/font]


So we’re back in the Bluegrass State everybody! Since Florida left the conference, Kentucky frequently owns this conference as they’re home to the nation’s two worst senators – senate majority leader Mitch McConnell and Rand Paul. Yes, that Rand Paul, the guy who didn’t know that monkey pancakes weren’t a thing. They’re also home to the worst governor in the country – Matt Bevin, a hardcore Christian fundamentalist who blames everything for bad things that happen but, say guns.

Kentucky Gov. Matt Bevin on Thursday blamed teacher protests at the state Capitol earlier this year for the shooting of a 7-year-old girl, The (Louisville) Courier Journal reported. That newspaper said Bevin, who was speaking to the Louisville Rotary Club, appeared to be referring to a shooting on March 12 in Shively. The girl was shot when she and her 11-year-old brother were inside a house alone and their uncle, who was their guardian, was outside, according to the newspaper. The Courier-Journal said that on March 27, police said the boy accidentally shot his sister and she underwent surgery. The girl was “listed in good condition, being transferred to begin rehabilitation, eating solid food,” the newspaper reported. Jefferson County Schools closed that day because of teacher “sickouts.” Read more: https://www.kentucky.com/news/local/education/article229676804.html




Oh come on, even Shaq is giving you the facepalm. I mean really… teacher sickouts are the reason why shootings happen? You should join those morons in Texas who blame school shootings on schools having too many exits. And I mean Kentucky is so hardcore Trump that you can’t even get food at a food truck without being lectured about the Trump lifestyle brand. Really, these fucking people.

A Northern Kentucky BBQ food truck caused an uproar with a T-shirt it’s selling with the LGBTQ acronym.

But it’s not ‘lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning or queer’ Belle’s Smokin’ BBQ was advocating. The shirts the food truck sold and later apologized for said: “I support LGBTQ: Liberty, Guns, Bible, Trump, BBQ.”

According to the Courier-Journal, the Williamstown food truck workers have been wearing the shirts for more than a year. But outrage grew Thursday.

Owner Jamie Smith began advertising the shirts Thursday in a since-deleted Facebook post, according to FOX 19. He sold around 100 but removed the post amidst the negative reaction, FOX 19 reported.

Read more: https://www.tri-cityherald.com/news/nation-world/national/article229463304.html




And by the way here’s one of the craziest things ever. Not only does Kentucky have two of the worst national level senators, they also elect local reps as batshit crazy as the people who live in this state. It’s really a second Florida if you think about it. One of the GOP’s current favorite punching bags is Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, and the fact that she simply exists is enough to drive the most hardcore Trump humper crazy.

WASHINGTON -- Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is welcome to come to Kentucky and tour a coal mine, but first she needs to apologize, says Rep. Andy Barr.

Barr, a Kentucky Republican, wants Ocasio-Cortez to offer a mea culpa to “our colleague and patriot to our country” Rep. Dan Crenshaw, a Texas Republican, before she accepts Barr’s invitation to tour a Kentucky coal mine.

In a letter Friday to the New York Democrat, Barr said her recent comments about Crenshaw “demonstrate a lack of civility that is becoming far too common in the U.S. House of Representatives.”

An apology won’t be forthcoming, a spokesman for the congresswoman said Friday.

Read more: https://www.mcclatchydc.com/news/politics-government/congress/article229191679.html




[font size="4"]Georgia[/font]


Last time we checked in with Georgia, they were still reeling from that insane election that saw Stacy Abrhams ousted as governor in what appeared to be an attempted coup engineered by crazy people with a white supremacist agenda. And white supremacy still thrives in Georgia, which explains why they’re so batshit crazy. I mean look just because you’re next to Florida doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to smell Florida’s stink! But they do. and they get people like this who claim that their free speech is being persecuted. How dare you be intolerant of my intolerance!!

A University of Georgia PhD student who is facing a disciplinary hearing related to information omitted from his admission application says the investigation is retaliation for his controversial race-related statements.

In January, the right-wing website Campus Reform published a story about Irami Osei-Frimpong, a doctoral student in philosophy and teaching assistant at UGA. It quoted statements Osei-Frimpong had made on social media, such as, “Some white people may have to die for black communities to be whole in this struggle to advance freedom.”

UGA initially issued a statement condemning racism and violence while standing up for Osei-Frimpong’s First Amendment rights. The Equal Opportunity Office, which investigates discrimination complaints, quickly cleared him. But when the article’s author, recent UGA graduate Andrew Lawrence, claimed that a donor had threatened to withhold $2.5 million as a result of Osei-Frimpong’s comments, UGA’s stance shifted. The new line was that it was “vigorously exploring all available legal options” to sanction him.

A few days later, the university received a tip that he had left a 2011 arrest and a stint at the University of Chicago off his application to UGA, and launched an investigation. A hearings board could suspend or expel him. Although investigator Barrett Malone wrote in his report that it is not related to his politics, Osei-Frimpong believes otherwise.

Read more: https://flagpole.com/news/news-features/2019/04/17/grad-student-says-uga-wants-him-gone-for-his-political-speech




And by the way – republicans always scream that their views aren’t heard. That is complete and utter bullshit! They’re heard everywhere! And we’re supposed to just shake our head and go “OK”. But really they want a totalitarian dictatorship and they will get it whether we want it or not. But do we really have to put up with their shit like this? I can’t imagine this will end well.

Six Georgia Republicans want to regulate the work of journalists and other media entities by creating an ethics board and instituting requirements for how interviews are conducted.

State representatives Andy Welch, Tim Barr, Rick Jasperse, Ron Stephens, Mike Cheokas, and Mark Newton filed House Bill 734 on Day 40 of the 2019 session.

The measure seeks create a 9-member Journalism Ethics Board responsible for:

Accrediting journalists and organizations
- Entire news organizations would only be accredited if every journalist in the organization was accredited

Investigating and sanctioning journalists after complaints are filed by the public
- Allows for public and private reprimand, probation, and revocation of accreditation

Accepting and managing grants, donations, gifts, and other monetary awards

Setting rules and standards to adhere to for ‘factual and ethical reporting.’

Additionally, the bill requires that media outlets turn over any video and audio recordings in unedited format as well as photographs taken during an interview at no charge upon request by the person interviewed. It sets a 60-day window from the date of the interview to request the files, sets a timeframe to fulfill the request, and allows for private action against the media outlet or journalist for failing to comply, assessing a $100 per day penalty.

Read more: http://evans.allongeorgia.com/1st-amendment/full-text-ga-republicans-seek-to-regulate-the-media/




Yeah you think? And remember when George Bush famously uttered the words “Is our children learning”? Well, no they aren’t, and there’s always a method for their madness. And that method might be – teachers are getting screwed! And Georgia is one of the worst states in the country where teachers are getting screwed the most. No wonder people are so crazy down in the south. We need some more edumacation!

The University System of Georgia has shorted its employees’ pension fund over $600 million since it stopped making legally required payments to the fund over a decade ago, according to a state audit.

When the Optional Retirement Program, a 401(k) plan for USG employees, was created in 1990, legislation required the USG to make two types of annual payments to the Teacher Retirement System to make up for fewer employees paying into the TRS pension fund. Roughly 400,000 current and former teachers, librarians and university faculty and staff are part of TRS.

One of those required payments has not been made since 2008, equaling an estimated $600 million to $660 million, according to the audit. The other payment has never been made, and state auditors don’t know the amount. The audit also found that USG shorted Optional Retirement Program members $12.6 million in fiscal year 2007.

The first payment required by a 2010 law requires USG to make an unfunded accrued liability payment to the TRS equal to the amount that would have been made for ORP employees if they joined TRS. But TRS never billed USG for those payments from 2008–2018.

Read more: https://flagpole.com/news/news-features/2019/04/03/audit-finds-university-system-shorted-the-teacher-retirement-fund




[font size="4"]And The Winner Is…[/font]

Ooh man this was a close one. It’s down to the wire – Kentucky came back and answered 16 to Georgia’s triple double run. Current score 88 – 86 with less than 30 seconds on the clock. Now down to 15 seconds… ten seconds… Georgia makes the shot… it’s in!!!! 3 pointer at the buzzer! Down goes Kentucky, Georgia moves on!!! What an upset here folks!!! The Stone Mountain racists of Georgia have knocked off conference favorite Kentucky! Oh my god! Wow, what a performance!

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Next week the final two states are vying for their spot in the Final Four and it’s a battle to see who can go for broke with the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference championship! We’re live from the home of the San Diego St Aztecs , the Viejas Arena for all the action! And it’s a battle of the Beltways as two conference juggernauts – Wisconsin and Michigan will faceoff to see who will move on! Stay tuned!



[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Cage The Elephant[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen I am super excited to have this next guest on, you can see them on tour with Beck through the end of the month. Their latest album is called “Social Cues”, playing their song “Night Running”, give it up for Cage The Elephant!!!




Happy Thanksgiving! Next week we have just two more regular Top 10s remaining before our 2020 Year In Review finale! See you next week!

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Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Rutgers University, New Brunswick, NJ
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