Democratic Voters Hope Election Day Means Democrats Will Stop Texting Them

[Rhiannon12866]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Democratic voters are anxiously awaiting Election Day in the hope that Democratic candidates and activists will finally stop texting them, a new poll shows.

In conversations with Democratic voters across the country, “No longer being texted by Democrats” has emerged as one of the most important issues to them in the 2020 campaign.

“Don’t get me wrong: I love the fact that they’re trying to end this Trump nightmare,” Carol Foyler, a Democratic voter in New Hampshire, said. “I’m just not sure that I need to be reminded five times a day to vote when I voted by mail a month ago.”

Harland Dorrinson, who lives in Las Vegas, agreed. “I got a phone call in the middle of the night, and my heart raced because I thought it might be a family emergency,” he said. “It was just Joe Biden telling me that he and Kamala need my support.”

Tracy Klugian, a resident of Des Moines, said that, while he appreciated the texts from Democrats at first, “It now feels like borderline stalking.”

“They keep texting me because I donated twenty-five dollars to defeat Joni Ernst a few months ago,” he said. “But I guess now I feel like—oh, wait a second, I’m getting a call. Never mind, it’s just Barack Obama.”


Short article, no more at link: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/democratic-voters-hope-election-day-means-democrats-will-stop-texting-them



Photograph by Michael Conroy / AP

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. This may be the Borowitz Report, but it is based on the truth!

I keep getting texts for money, and yet more money, and support in other ways, but mostly for MONEY!

I'm starting to type Stop in the reply.

ARGH.

[Rhiannon12866]

4. I absolutely identify, too!

I have gotten more reminders than I can count, to request an absentee ballot, countless invitations to take surveys ending with yet another donation request, to contact those who supposedly live near me, etc. They want me to have a talk with Jason, Jill, Amanda and Douglas - that's all they said, no joke! Exactly who and where are these people??

[sprinkleeninow]

27. 'Allo, 'allo, Moja Dear Heart!

Here's Jaime Harrison, SC campaign emails: "Hi name, are you up?" Middle of thee nite. 😆

I love love love Jaime. Donated multiple times. These recent emails down-to-the-wire are a hoot. 🥳

A path of safety and maintained good health be to you!
❤🧡💛💚💙💜🤎

[Rhiannon12866]

30. Ah! Hello, my dear friend! Hope that you're doing well. And I sure am aware of Jaime!

He's one breakout candidate who's become a household name nationally in this crowded election cycle! And he made an appearance on with Stephen Colbert if you missed it, and did extremely well! And I have even seen ads for him on TV here in New York!

Stephen Colbert - "A Relic Of The Old South" - Guest Jaime Harrison On Sen. Lindsey Graham
https://www.democraticunderground.com/1017615674

[doc03]

2. Texts? I deleted over 150 e-mails today, I even get them from Trump lately. I hope

I don't get in trouble for my deleted e-mails

[liberaltrucker]

26. I get those, too

I need to update my swear word vocabulary.

[Lefta Dissenter]

3. Thanks to my kids

It seems that BOTH of my kids have used MY PHONE NUMBER sometime in the past for political functions, because not only am I getting calls and texts for me, but I’m getting them for both of my darned children, too!

Sometimes my phone has been dinging and dinging as the same multi-part text comes in to each of the three of us.

Let’s see... is there a “forward” function for texts?

[Totally Tunsie]

5. This is not satire. This is truth!

[TlalocW]

6. I've been doing a recurring donation - weekly or bi-weekly... don't remember

Emails and texts, and my text alert is LOUD because I need to be able to hear it everywhere in the house (it's the part of Monty Python's Holy Grail where Lancelot's servant is struck by an arrow with a message attached, and says, "Message for you, sir!" as he keels over).

That's not a fun sound in the middle of the night, but I guess any alert wouldn't be.

TlalocW

[Rice4VP]

7. I have blocked several of their numbers.

I keep telling them that I’ve voted already and given and they need to track down people who haven’t voted

[Maraya1969]

8. This is true! I am tired of all the texts. I know everyone means well but

I'll also be glad when they stop

[DFW]

9. I have had it too

Especially with the guilt trip emails. We lose because you didn’t send us $3 yesterday!!

Some are so ridiculous, i have to think the money really goes to a Republican or into Putin’s treasury (to the extent that there’s a difference).

[Rhiannon12866]

10. They've tried that scare tactic with me, as well.

Because I didn't respond or send a donation, that particular candidate is sure to lose - or, even worse, I must now be for Trump!

[DFW]

13. I get tons of this in the mail, too

I get FedEx boxes with my mail from the States once a week, and now 90% of it is this stuff, as often as not from candidates or organizations, from the Vermont Food Bank to Amnesty International, to whom I already contribute every year. The wasted paper alone drives my wife nuts, and it is no secret that once you contribute somewhere, your name and address is passed around. If you die and leave everything you owned to “Progressive Pipples,” your estate will be bombarded for the next ten years by requests to “step up” and send money, including requests thanking you for bequeathing every cent you own, and then a suggestion to “make it monthly.”

[Demovictory9]

11. I get only a few texts but maybe 20 emails a day from Jaime, Kamala, Biden, DNC, etc.

[MySideOfTown]

12. Finally today, Jamie asked if I was getting tired

of his emails, and I said yes. There is not much more I can do. I wish I could vote for you.

[Olafjoy]

14. So many texts today

I answered a call and the guy acted like my not giving $300 means dumpster wins. Felt like a shakedown.

[Rhiannon12866]

15. That's what they do.

If you don't respond or donate after hearing from them day after day, then your candidate is sure to lose.

[ChoppinBroccoli]

16. Trump Texted Me 12 Times Today Asking For Money

I get texts from the Trump campaign literally every day, usually around 10 a day (I gave them my cell phone number so I could reserve tickets for my dog and several of his friends to not attend several Trump rallies, and now I'm afraid if I tell them to stop texting me, I'll get put on some list and shenanigans will happen--plus, a lot of the texts are pure comedy).

The tone of Trump's texts are all very accusatory, like, "WHY haven't you donated?!?!?", whereas the texts I get from the Biden campaign are all like, "Hey, we know money's tight, but if you can spare a little, would you mind making a donation?"

[Rhiannon12866]

17. Oh, yikes!

I know that a lot of them are annoyingly insistent, but I can imagine that anything from Trump would be downright nasty!

[orangecrush]

18. ...

[orangecrush]

19. I don't mind a bit

It means our team is fighting HARD! TO! WIN!

Even if I can't give, every one of these messages encourages me and reminds me of what is at stake

AND TO GET TO THE POLLS TUESDAY!!!!!!!!



:

[Kaleva]

20. MY box at the PO is stuffed with flyers.

[progree]

21. Odd. I haven't gotten a single text like that. Very few emails. No calls on my cell. (Minnesota)

# Cellphone: no texts. I get calls from unknown numbers that I don't answer, and the few that leave a voice message tell me my Social Security number is being used for fraudulent activities and if I don't call in the next 48 hours, I will be put in jail

# Landline: have gotten only a few. Many I don't answer (I don't have caller ID, so I don't know whose calling, if its important they can leave a message).

# Emails: Very few. I promptly unsubscribe from everyone I've gotten, and the unsubscribe request has been promptly honored.

# Snail mail: Very disappointingly, all's I've gotten on the presidential race is how Biden and the far left radicals will raise our taxes and burn down our cities ... I can only think of one flyer from the Democratic side (speaking of the general election phase). In the primaries got a lot from Ilhan Omar and her primary Democratic opponent.

I'm in Minnesota (Ilhan Omar's district), so, judging from both Trump and Biden coming to Minnesota several times, we matter to them.

I gave $2,000 to Theresa Greenfield (running against Joni "make them squeal" Ernst for U.S. Senate from Iowa). So would have expected to get calls from people wanting donations.

I voted Oct 21 ... so before that I was "in play".

All my contact information -- cellphone, landline, email address, snail-mail address -- have been the same for decades except the cellphone number is 13 years old. So it's not like I've been "off the grid" until recently.

By the way, Minnesota has been processing early-voting and mail-in ballots for weeks, so we might have a lot of results on election night, and might be an earlier indicator of how the upper Midwest is going.

(By contrast, Wisconsin election people are prohibited by their long-standing state law from processing ballots until election day (that includes even taking ballots out of their envelopes, for Chrissake), so don't look to Wisconsin for anything that includes early voting / mail-in ballots on election night).

[Gore1FL]

22. Especially actblue with the gloom and doom messages from candidates that have already said enough.

I find the activity counter-productive.

[Dem2theMax]

23. They don't bother me at all. I donate when I can.

And it's really easy to hit the delete button. It all goes away in a few days.

I do have to admit that I get excited when Barack Obama sends me emails and texts!
He can keep doing that. I won't mind a bit.

[SunSeeker]

24. I donated almost twice as much this election than I did 2016.

Those texts, emails and calls did play a part, but mostly it's a determination to defeat Trump.

[Rhiannon12866]

25. You're right, this is a national emergency and that could play a part in the mass communications

And Andy Borowitz does publish satire.

[AlexSFCA]

29. me and my family donated easily 3x as much as in 2016 or 2018

this time we donated to biden, jamie harrison, sarah gideon, amy mcgrath, and DLCC.

[SunSeeker]

31. Yup. I sent small donations to all folks too, and the DNC.

[AlexSFCA]

28. emails, texts and calls multiple times a day

I stopped donating directly and started doing it through a friend who doesn’t mind spam. Such aggressive non-stop bombarding with messages feels counterproductive. 1 meaningful e-mail a day would suffice. They probably got us in the database for many elections to come. I’ll keep donating because I don’t have time to volunteer but plenty of folks want to be paid staffers.

[captain queeg]

32. Emails, at least a dozen a day, don't bother me much, they're easy to delete

But the constant phone calls are starting to piss me off. I’m waiting to here back from someone and my phone is under siege.

[KY_EnviroGuy]

33. Thanks, Rhiannon. I don't do social media or text but.....

my email in-box will breathe a sigh of relief after Tuesday.........

[Rhiannon12866]

34. It doesn't matter, apparently they'll find you

I haven't dealt with email for years, but my friend insisted she wanted to send me something and they were there! Not to mention the messages on my phone - I didn't even have a cell phone yet when I worked on my congressman's campaigns, but I've been texted the first names of supposed voters in my area that I've been asked to talk to about voting for the current candidate(s). When I worked for my congressman, I was given at least last names and addresses of likely voters.

[Sunsky]

35. I hate to admit it but this is a FACT.

The one that got to me was a 3 am email from a certain candidate, who couldn't sleep because... I think most donors are tired of being bombarded with emails. I understand though, I give when I can and just delete when I cannot.