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Wed Oct 14, 2020, 05:00 PM

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #9-14: Pretty Fly For A Really White Guy Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #9-14: Pretty Fly For A Really White Guy Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! How’s everybody doing? Are you guys doing fucking good? I know, right? Seriously didn’t this last week feel like it was an entire year? I know! Can I gloat for a minute? It’s about damn time a team I root for won it all! I’m of course talking about the Los Angeles Lakers! Yes, congratulations to the Los Angeles Lakers for winning their 17th title in NBA history! Thank you canned audience! I mean seriously, ever since that horrifying helicopter crash that took the life of Kobe Bryant and his daughter Gianna, and 7 others, nothing has gone right this year. But I think last night was a turning point because the Lakers got their title and were able to dedicate it to Kobe on what has otherwise been an extremely shitty year. So yeah since February we haven’t really had much to celebrate and we’re looking at a nightmare scenario for the transition period after Trump loses to Biden and that’s going to be ugly. And yes I have watched nearly every game in the NBA bubble in Orlando because it’s a pandemic and everyone is bored as hell. But that said, congratulations again to the 2020 Los Angeles Lakers for winning it all! OK that’s enough of the intro so we have a lot of idiocy to cover in the weeks leading up to the election. But first Bill Maher is back and he has a dire warning and nightmare scenario laid out should Trump decide that he’s not going to concede to Biden:

We’re just a mere 3 weeks away from the 2020 election and it’s shaping up to be quite the shit show we all knew it would be, wouldn’t it? Taking the first slot this week is our vice president Mike Pence (1) and the debate between Mike Pence and Kamala Harris was quite the shit show, but we can all agree that the fly on Pence’s head was the star of the show, am I right? Even Joe Biden had some fun with the buzz in the room! Taking the second slot this week, is our current and inexplicable president, Donald J. Trump – he has not only infected the whole West Wing, but he’s very slowly losing his mind! At slot #3 is Donald Trump Supporters. Remember his infamous “LIBERATE MICHIGAN!” tweet back in April? Well it inspired some real home grown terrorism, and well, this one fucked up situation! Taking the fourth slot this week is also Donald Trump (4) and this week after all the batshit crazy things he’s done, Nancy Pelosi is finally discussing the 25th Amendment! In the fifth slot this week is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5) and you may have noticed plexiglass barriers everywhere due to COVID-19 but what do they do and how effective are they? Taking the sixth slot this week is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” and this week - are we fighting a holy war? The evangelical crowd is suggesting yes, but our resident pastor has a different theory! In the seventh slot this week is a new Beating A Dead Horse – and Saturday Night Live (7) once again attempted to cater to Trump fans by having a country music guy on – and one who’s known for partying and he has been partying hard in the middle of a pandemic! At slot #8 is a new edition of Conspiracy Corner (8) and this week, everyone’s favorite (?) theorists Jacob Wohl and Jack Berkman are finally throwing in the towel and turning themselves in. I can’t wait to see the future movie about them starring Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week we have a new People Are Dumb, because of course they are! Finally this week in Road To The White House – Trump is bailing on the debates and going on his virtual Deplorable Tour! Yes, he is actively losing his mind! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Mike Pence
[br] [/font]

We need some music for this one!

Yeah love me some Offspring! I don’t know if anyone saw the Vice Presidential debates but it was quite the shit show that everyone had expected. Kamala did great at the debate, as was expected, and Mike Pence showed himself off as Trump’s mini me. But there was an unexpected star of the show during the 2 hour shit show, and that was that a fly unexpectedly landed on Pence’s head and stayed there for a whole two minutes. And if you watched the whole thing you can see that well, even Pence himself didn’t know about it! But that’s to be expected, I mean flies are drawn to horseshit. Hey o!!! But yeah, like most things just walk it off!

Vice President Mike Pence said Monday he learned afterward from his children that a fly had landed on his head during last week’s debate against California Sen. Kamala Harris.

“They’re the ones that told me. I didn’t know he was there,” Pence told Fox News in an interview, referring to the insect that lit up Twitter in the hours after the vice presidential forum.

“They all told me, ‘Dad, you did OK,’” he said. “But they did tell me about the fly. And it was a good laugh for all of us.”

The black bug sat on Pence’s closely cropped, white hair for roughly two minutes last Wednesday as he debated racial justice and police brutality with Harris, the running mate to Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden.

The Biden-Harris campaign began selling fly swatter merchandise within minutes of the vice presidential candidates leaving the stage, and jokes about the fly have continued on social media and cable news through this week.

Unfortunately Bart’s head wasn’t on the fly. But that said it was absolutely hilarious that this happened, but no one in the Trump administration has a sense of humor and is able to laugh about themselves, so that’s that. But that’s kind of sad when you’re such a transparent person that the fly not only outranks you in the debate but actually steals your thunder! Mike Pence is such a soulless, animatronic excuse for a human that he shows no emotion over this, nor does he have a sense of humor about it.

Ahead of Wednesday’s vice-presidential debate, the buzz was around whether Kamala Harris or Mike Pence would turn in a standout performance.

Instead, the unexpected star of the show was a fly, which landed on Pence’s head and sat there, seemingly carefree, for a full two minutes.

The unnamed fly prompted much commentary online, and the word “flies” began trending on Twitter. Some pointed out that flies, according to conventional wisdom, are drawn to feces.

It wasn’t long before the fly had its own Twitter account – Mike Pence’s Fly.

During her debate prep Harris and her team were aware of the double standard women in power are subjected to compared with men – including increased scrutiny over how women look.

But it was Pence’s appearance which drew more attention.

I think having a killer spider might make things even worse! But really no one took the liberty of naming the fly? That’s pretty lame! Seriously, even the fly has more charisma than Mike Pence does. In this otherwise extremely dark and depressing year, we need things that make us laugh. And this was definitely one of them, even both sides can agree on! If that’s pretty fly for a white guy, this is Pretty Fly For A Really White Guy!

In comparison to the disorderly spectacle that was the first presidential debate, the vice-presidential was relatively tame. As expected, Kamala Harris spoke eloquently and emphatically when asked to discuss Trump’s negligent and reckless response to the pandemic and Joe Biden’s tax plan, among other topics. On the other side of the inadequately sized plexiglass barriers sat Vice-President Mike Pence, who spent the debate dodging moderator Susan Page’s questions entirely, repeatedly interrupting Harris, and cynically posturing himself as a man who cares deeply about every American.

By the time the clock struck approximately 10:16 p.m. — a mere 14 minutes away from the debate’s conclusion — things were feeling pretty lethargic. That is, a little black object that suddenly appeared atop Pence’s Lego-helmet hair, perplexing viewers across the country. Is something wrong with my television screen? some wondered. Personally, I thought that a piece of ceiling debris had conveniently landed on Pence’s head, which I found gratifying. And then, seemingly simultaneously, we identified the puzzling mark:

But what made this guest appearance so stunning is that said fly did not immediately take flight upon realizing its landing pad was living and emitting a stream of monotonous sounds. Rather, this resolute little bug dug its toes into Pence’s helmet and hung out for a remarkably long two minutes, almost as if it were atop a bountiful feeding ground, like a deer carcass, or maybe even warm pile of garbage. (Naturally, Biden’s campaign has already seized onto this viral moment and is selling a “Truth Over Flies Fly Swatter.”)

Yeah where’s a Venus Fly Trap when you need it? Oh and in case you’re wondering – yes the fly already has its’ own brand of merchandise! Merchandising – that’s where the real money from this administration is made! My personal favorite – even though Joe is already selling his own brand of fly swatter, there’s the Mike Pence fly bobblehead! That’s right this is a thing that exists!

The moment a fly landed on Mike Pence’s head during Wednesday’s vice-presidential debate is being immortalized with a bobblehead.

You might say the buzz hadn’t died down from the debate when the folks at the National Bobblehead Hall of Fame and Museum issued the news.

Pre-orders are available for the Mike Pence fly bobblehead, which costs $25. The bobblehead includes the fly on Pence’s head, a plexiglass-like barrier and a removable mini swatter. Shipping is expected in January.

The fly landed - and stayed – on Pence’s head for a couple of minutes as he debated Sen. Kamala Harris in Salt Lake City.

While bobbleheads gained fame for depicting moments mostly in sports, this year has expanded the reach of the Milwaukee-based hall.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Unless you have been living under a rock, you know that Trump not only got infected with, but has been spreading the very virus that he has been calling a hoax since this February! Well we’ve been following the events of this potential walking biohazard returning to the White House, and it’s been quite the shit show that you would absolutely expect from the Trump White House. When Biden gets in, he’s going to need to do some serious fumigation to not only get COVID out, but to get the smell of stupid out of the damn room! Thank you canned audience! Man I miss having an audience. But yes, Trump is turning the White House into a biohazard. And it’s not pretty.

In the wake of his return to the White House yesterday from Walter Reed National Military Medical Center for COVID-19 treatment, President Donald Trump continued to downplay the threat from the virus, with more infections reported in a growing circle of people around him and in upper military ranks.

In another development, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) today released its COVID-19 vaccine standards for developers, following an earlier block by the White House due to its concerns that the guidelines would delay the arrival of the first doses until after Election Day.
Trump returns with defiant messaging

After Trump returned to the White House by helicopter last night, he climbed stairs to a balcony, took off his mask, and posed for pictures, drawing a contrast to reports yesterday of infections in White House staff, including housekeepers, and news photos of workers in personal protective equipment disinfecting the press room in the facility's West Wing. Two people with confirmed COVID-19 are now being isolated treated at the White House: Trump and First Lady Melania Trump.

As Trump prepared to leave the hospital yesterday, he tweeted that Americans shouldn't fear the virus or let it dominate them. His comments, followed by his mask removal, prompted sharp blowback from public health officials, who accused the President of downplaying the virus again and pointed out that Trump received a combination of experimental and state-of-the-art treatments that most patients don't get.

Yes everyone, all is well!!! Actually all is not well! If you want a truly alarming statistic, there’s more cases of COVID-19 in the White House than there are in all of New Zealand! And you know what? The cases aren’t going to stop there. While the rest of us watch in horror at the shit show unfolding at the West Wing, they simply don’t seem to care and are getting back to business as usual!

Dr. Scott Gottlieb on Monday urged the White House to develop stronger health protocols after the Covid-19 infection of President Donald Trump.

Trump, who announced his diagnosis early Friday, is now being treated for Covid-19 at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center.

“I hope the whole White House takes a different approach. I don’t think there were good precautions taken at the White House. They weren’t modeling good precautions, but equally important, they weren’t taking good precautions to protect the president, in my view,” Gottlieb said on “Squawk Box.” “They both need to model better precautions for the nation so that people see a better example being set by our leaders.”

Gottlieb, earlier on “Squawk Box,” took issue with most of the prevention strategy relying on testing for the coronavirus. Many public health experts during the pandemic have emphasized that coronavirus testing is one component of a larger mitigation strategy. They have said other protocols such as wearing face coverings, maintaining social distance and good hygiene are critical to preventing transmission, too.

Seriously dude, what COVID precautions? Anyone who’s been watching the horror show unfold the last 7 months should be aware that he clearly doesn’t give a shit and that we’re on our own. But $10 says that he doesn’t make it past election day to serve his second term. And remember what I said about New Zealand? Look at this – there’s more cases in the White House than there are in all of that country!

The coronavirus outbreak has infected "34 White House staffers and other contacts" in recent days, according to an internal government memo, an indication that the disease has spread among more people than previously known in the seat of American government.

Dated Wednesday and obtained by ABC News, the memo was distributed among senior leadership at FEMA, a branch of the Department of Homeland Security and the agency responsible for managing the continuing national response to the public health disaster.

The memo also notes that a senior adviser to the president is among those infected. Hope Hicks and Stephen Miller, both senior aides to the president, have tested positive in recent days.

The new figures underscore both the growing crisis in the White House and the lengths to which government officials have gone to block information about the outbreak's spread. ABC News had previously reported that a total of 24 White House aides and their contacts had contracted the virus. It was not clear in the FEMA memo with the larger number what “other contacts” referred to.

I don’t think it’s too early to tell sir. It’s very well way past time to tell – Trump is a walking, talking biological weapon. He’s so far infected 34 people and is on his way to infect the whole damn West Wing, and I don’t want to point fingers but someone is going to die from this. Of course it’s like playing a game of Russian Roulette and you never know who the bullet is going to hit. But as with most things, this is going to get worse before it gets better.

One of the best weapons to deploy against a killer virus is accurate information—that is, the truth. If the public is fully and well informed about the dangers and the best countermeasures, the better the chances this threat can be arrested. Donald Trump, who with his wife, Melania, has tested positive for COVID-19, recklessly chose not to adopt this fundamental strategy in the face of a pandemic that has claimed over 207,000 American lives and that has yet to be tamed. You know the list: He downplayed the coronavirus (comparing it to the flu), he pronounced it was under control (it wasn’t), he said it would miraculously disappear with warmer weather (it didn’t), he promoted unproven and crackpot remedies (bleach, light, and hydroxychloroquine), he denigrated the most basic means to stop the spread (mask-wearing), and he refused to encourage safe practices (holding rallies with thousands of unmasked supporters).

Trump has mounted a disinformation campaign since COVID-19 landed in the United States. He has undercut and contradicted the guidance provided by his own government’s public health experts. He has fueled the passions of the misguided anti-maskers and provided ammo to fools who believe the pandemic is a hoax. This week a Cornell University study that analyzed 38 million English-language articles about the coronavirus concluded that Trump was the largest driver of the “infodemic.” In other words, he is the chief spreader of the virus of disinformation. That was hardly a shocker. The Washington Post fact-checkers have chronicled over 20,000 false statements and lies from Trump since he stepped into the White House.

So now when the coronavirus hits the West Wing, infects the president, a top aide, his wife, and perhaps others and triggers yet another crisis, a crucial element will be missing: trust. Can the public believe anything Trump and his minions say about this latest development? Of course not.

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[font size="8"]Michigan Republicans
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You know that every week in 2020 has felt like 10 years hasn’t it? So remember back in April when Trump tweeted to “LIBERATE MICHIGAN!!!” when protesting the COVID lockdowns? We covered this back in Idiots #8-14, which feels like an eternity ago! Well anyways in that length of time, it seems that a group of people in the great state of Michigan have decided that they are going to well, liberate Michigan. And this is why you should never listen to a guy like Trump. Because he is a raging psychopath with serious anger issues, and you don’t want to piss a guy like that off, he will explode! And these dumbfucks who attempted to kidnap Governor Whitmer, what did they expect? Were they going to go full Bane from the Dark Knight Rises and hold their own trials? Because let’s ask Bane and Scarecrow how well that worked out.

Federal prosecutors on Tuesday revealed new and sometimes shocking details of the case they have built against six men accused of plotting to kidnap Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer.

Defense attorneys began their efforts to shoot holes in the government's story, suggesting through questions they directed at an FBI agent that some of the plotting was just talk and that there was no specific kidnapping plan, just a range of ideas being tossed around.

Five of the six defendants sat with chains around their waists and wrists, sometimes nodding to family members or friends in the courtroom in the Grand Rapids federal building, as assistant U.S. Attorney Nils Kessler showed photos and videos and drew testimony from an FBI special agent.

The sixth federal defendant is still in Delaware, where he was arrested. All six are charged with conspiracy to kidnap and have been held in custody since their Oct. 7 arrests.

Seven other defendants face state charges brought by Michigan Attorney General Dana Nessel, including supporting terrorism, gang membership, and possessing a firearm in commission of a felony.

Seriously was this plot inspired by Bane or something? I mean you couldn’t make up something this frothing-at-the-mouth crazy! And in case you’re wondering the caliber of people that Trump has been attracting to his cause lately, well let’s take a look at a place that was going to be visited by one of Trump’s dim sons – Eric. Apparently one of the guys who worked at this gun shop was being – wait for it – a belligerent, abusive jackass!

Eric Trump canceled a visit to a gun shop in Michigan where one of the men accused of plotting to kidnap Gov. Gretchen Whitmer used to work.
Sarah Al-Arshani 2 hours ago

Eric Trump canceled a visit to a Michigan gun shop after it was discovered that one of the 13 men accused of plotting to kidnap Gov. Gretchen Whitmer used to work there.

Huron Valley Guns wrote in a Facebook post that one of the men accused in the plot worked there for three weeks in February and was fired after showing up to work wearing "a LOT of tactical gear."

"We found that a little odd. We weren't comfortable with him for a few other reasons and fired him after 3 weeks. He ended up being one of the fringe characters arrested for the Governor Whitmer kidnapping," the organization wrote.

Ed Swadish, owner of Huron Valley Guns, told The Detroit News that he couldn't reveal the name of the employee on the advice of his lawyers but said the former employee worked on the gun range.

Read more: https://www.businessinsider.com/eric-trump-canceled-visit-michigan-gun-man-accused-whitmer-worked-2020-10

No it really isn’t! But never mind the batshit crazy conspiracy theorists plotting to kidnap the governor and overthrow the government. That’s all crazy talk don’t you know? It’s all just a big, hearty gut laugh that we can all look back in a few years and go “See? Remember how crazy the year 2020 was?”. But that’s the play from the defense – it was all crazy talk from a bunch of crackpots. Ha ha ha ha ha, it’s all so obvious now!

There was no real plan to kidnap Gov. Gretchen Whitmer, but only "military wannabes" who engaged in "big talk" and played with guns in the woods, defense lawyers argued in court Tuesday.

As one defense lawyer suggested, the case appears to be one of "big talk between crackpots," or "people who talk a lot ... but are never going to do anything."

"Have you ever dealt with big talkers?" defense attorney Scott Graham asked an FBI agent on cross examination, adding: "There's kind of a military-wanna-be theme that runs between the militias."

Graham was grilling FBI special agent Richard Trask about his testimony that at least 13 militia members plotted to kidnap Whitmer from her vacation home and do one of two things: either take her on a boat in the middle of Lake Michigan and leave her there, or, take her to Wisconsin and try her for treason.

Graham asked the FBI agent how the suspects planned to get Whitmer to Wisconsin.

No it really isn’t at all! Now here’s where it gets weird. Because this is the Trump administration, and you knew it was going to. Apparently, Whitmer wasn’t the only governor these goons were planning to kidnap. Virginia was also on their list of states to be “liberated”. Because guess what? That’s another of the states that Trump has been targeting because of lockdown restrictions, because he’s a certifiably insane individual!

Accused conspirators charged in a plot to kidnap Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer also discussed "taking" Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam, an FBI agent testified at a court hearing Tuesday, as federal authorities offered new details about the alleged anti-government plot.

During the hearing here in Grand Rapids to discuss the charges filed last week against members of a self-proclaimed militia accused of plotting to kidnap Michigan’s Democratic governor, FBI Special Agent Richard Trask revealed that months ago, some of the suspects met in Dublin, Ohio, where Northam, also a Democrat, was discussed as a potential target.

“At this meeting, they discussed possible targets, taking a sitting governor, specifically issues with the governors of Michigan and Virginia, based upon the lockdown orders,” Trask told the court, referring to state-mandated restrictions implemented to combat the spread of the coronavirus.

No one has been charged with plotting to kidnap Northam, but, like Whitmer, Virginia’s governor was the target of intense criticism from some conservatives over the summer. President Trump has sharply criticized both governors, tweeting all-caps demands in the spring that their states be “liberated.”

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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It’s no secret that Donald Trump has gone off his fucking rocker. The man is certifiably insane and he’s getting worse as each day inches closer to the election. And it’s going to be the election from hell, that you can be assured of! So impeachment didn’t work, and giving him a lame duck Congress didn’t work, so what’s behind door number 3? Why it’s the 25th amendment! Yes, that most sacred of constitutional amendments that says that the president can be removed from power if he’s proven to be abusing it, could actually be invoked! We actually saw this being put to use in season 2 of the TV show 24 when President Palmer’s ability to govern is questioned by Vice President Prescott. So how would this work in real life?

Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) said Thursday that Democrats will hold an event on Friday to discuss the 25th Amendment amid concerns over President Trump’s coronavirus diagnosis.

“Tomorrow, by the way, tomorrow, come here tomorrow. We're going to be talking about the 25th Amendment. But not to take attention away from the subject we have now,” she said in response to a question at a press conference regarding a possible coronavirus stimulus package.

When pressed for clarification as to whether Pelosi believes it is time to invoke the 25th Amendment, which delineates presidential succession, she declined to provide an explicit answer but hinted the discussion was tied to what she said was a lack of transparency from the White House over Trump’s health.

“I’m not talking about it today except to tell you, if you want to talk about that, we’ll see you tomorrow,” she said. “But you take me back to my point, Mr. President, when was the last time you had a negative test before you tested positive? Why is the White House not telling the country that important fact about how this made a hotspot of the White House?”

Ok, Jack, you do that! So how would invoking the 25th amendment work? There’s numerous times over the last 4 years that it could have been used. So why wait until now? Nancy Pelosi has brought about the fact that it could be used. Because right now it would take a commission to kick Trump out of the Resolute Desk, but there’s no way that committee could prove to be partisan. Well, there’s a loophole.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., and Rep. Jamie Raskin, D-Md., unveiled a bill Oct. 9 to establish a commission that could be tasked with determining if a president is no longer fit for office.

The bill from Raskin, a former constitutional scholar, comes on the heels of President Donald Trump’s Oct. 2 announcement of his positive COVID-19 test. The bill would create what would be known as the ‘‘Commission on Presidential Capacity to Discharge the Powers and Duties of the Office” in accordance with the 25th Amendment to the Constitution.

The commission would not have the unilateral power to invoke the 25th Amendment and kick Trump or any future president out of the White House. Pelosi and Raskin insisted in a press conference that the move was unrelated to the election less than a month away.

“This is not about President Trump,” said Pelosi. “He will face the judgment of the voters. But he shows the need for us to create a process for future presidents.”

And that’s a guy who you do not want to fuck with either. And speak of guys who you don’t want to fuck with, Trump is hopping mad that this is even being remotely considered. But what he doesn’t know is that in the event that he tries to fuck with the election and it’s unresolved by December 15th, Nancy Pelosi becomes president. So yeah he’s becoming his own worst enemy at this point.

When the president’s COVID-19 diagnosis was acknowledged, there was naturally a lot of interest in what would happen if he were to become so ill that he was incapacitated to do his job, even temporarily. At the time I wrote about the three incidents in which two presidents (Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush) invoked Section 3 of the 25th Amendment upon undertaking surgical procedures and made George H.W. Bush and Dick Cheney, respectively, acting presidents of the United States very briefly. This remains an option for Donald Trump if he finds that he is no longer doing as well as he currently claims.

But with the president seeming to act as his own chief physician, and conducting such odd stunts as riding in his SUV motorcade around Walter Reed Medical Center not long before he succeeded in obtaining a discharge, following a disturbingly brief hospitalization, inquiring minds are beginning to wonder about Section 4 of the 25th Amendment:

Section 4 involves involuntary measures to declare the president incapacitated. Here’s the first paragraph:

Whenever the Vice President and a majority of either the principal officers of the executive departments or of such other body as Congress may by law provide, transmit to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives their written declaration that the President is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office, the Vice President shall immediately assume the powers and duties of the office as Acting President.

That possibility is beginning to circulate in part due to the president’s rather odd conduct since entering Walter Reed, and in part because of concerns about the possible psychological impact of the treatment he is continuing to receive, as former Solicitor General Neal Katyal notes:

Seriously, where is that guy when you need him? Of course we all know what happened when we saw Mitt Romney get ostracized from Trumpland when he voted for impeachment. And if you think Trump is bad now, wait until you see him on steroids! Not of the anabolic variety but of the kind used to cure crippling lung diseases. He is frothing at the mouth batshit crazy!

President Trump announced early Friday that he and first lady Melania Trump had tested positive for COVID-19. At 74 years old and obese, Mr. Trump is considered at higher risk for complications of the infection. On Friday evening, Mr. Trump was transferred to Walter Reed Medical Center "out of an abundance of caution," where he will continue to do his job, the White House said.

White House spokesperson Kayleigh McEnany said Mr. Trump has mild symptoms but "remains in good spirits" and continued working throughout the day.

"Out of an abundance of caution, and at the recommendation of his physician and medical experts, the President will be working from the presidential offices at Walter Reed for the next few days," McEnany said. "President Trump appreciates the outpouring of support for both he and the first lady."

Still, the news of his positive coronavirus test drove an immediate surge in Google searches for the 25th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, which lays out the succession for the executive branch should the president be incapacitated or deemed unable to carry out the duties of the presidency.

White House communications director Alyssa Farah said that despite the president's stay at Walter Reed, he has not transferred power to Vice President Mike Pence.

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Plexiglass Barriers
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!

You may have seen pieces of plastic Plexiglass pop up at various supermarkets, fast food restaurants, and just about everywhere. They have also been a hot topic of discussion during the Vice Presidential Debates. But what do these windows do? Supposedly they’re for stopping the coronavirus that causes COVID-19. However, in the health care world, there’s been a debate about whether or not these plastic barriers are actually effective or not. Can they actually stop the spread of the virus? How do they work against protecting you from the virus? And in the long run is spending all this money on a temporary solution really a good thing? These are the many questions that need to be answered while the pandemic is still going on.

Mike Pence's team agreed Tuesday night to allow the Commission on Presidential Debates to erect a plexiglass barrier near the vice president for Wednesday's debate in Salt Lake City, a Pence aide and commission member told CNN, bringing an end for now the negotiations over coronavirus safety precautions around the contest.

Pence's team made clear throughout the week that they thought putting any plexiglass barriers near the vice president was unnecessary and that they opposed such a move. Sen. Kamala Harris' team, however, wanted the plexiglass barriers, in part, because of the ongoing spread of coronavirus inside the White House and the fact that Pence attended a Rose Garden event over a week ago that may have been the genesis of the spread. Pence has since repeatedly tested negative for the virus.

"We have inquired as to the medical or scientific need for a plexiglass barrier when two times the (US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) distancing guidance has been implemented," said a Pence aide. "But most importantly the Vice President is looking forward to having a conversation about the marked shift left that Joe Biden wants to take this country, so we are not going to let a barrier prevent the Vice President from making the case for four more years of Donald Trump."

Physical barriers like plexiglass are typically recommended when social distancing cannot be maintained. The candidates will be separated by 12 feet on stage. Masks are considered the best defense against both droplet and aerosolized transmission of the virus.

Much like shooting the virus, having a small piece of plastic on your desk isn’t really going to help protect you from an airborne virus. And just like masks, plexiglass is not only the latest divide in the right wing culture wars, it’s dividing scientists as well. So the question is – do plexiglass barriers really help protect you from coronavirus? The answer is a definite… maybe.

Guidelines from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention say that because of Pence’s proximity to the president and exposure to the virus, he should quarantine for another week. However, with Pence testing negative for the virus, his advisers say that not only will he go forward with the in-person face-off, but that any dividers are not medically necessary because the candidates will be 12 feet apart.

Plexiglass dividers are one tool to prevent transmission of the virus, but are typically used in combination with other measures, like maintaining a 6-foot social distance and requiring masks. The demand for barriers in the vice presidential debate was among a larger list of Biden campaign conditions, which included testing, face coverings and a larger distance between the candidates.

The debate over the debate is bound to have an effect beyond Wednesday, since the vice presidential debate will likely serve as a trial run for the final two match-ups between Trump and Biden in the run-up to Election Day. But even if plexiglass barriers are used in the remaining debates, their protective benefits are far from proven when it comes to the coronavirus.

Dr. Saskia Popescu, an infectious disease epidemiologist at the University of Arizona, said it wasn’t entirely clear how effective plexiglass barriers are at preventing the transmission of Covid-19. The dividers are not “a substitute for any of the efforts we know work,” she said.

That’s probably the only safe way you can protect yourself from COVID. Only problem is you cannot use the bathroom, eat, or drink in one of those. In fact leading medical experts are calling the glass “minimal protection” and saying that the barriers are mainly for cosmetic purposes. The next time you see a plexiglass barrier just remember that it really isn’t doing much to protect you at all.

Nonetheless, a person familiar with the debate planning told NBC News that Harris’ campaign asked for the plexiglass to be used at the event at the University of Utah in Salt Lake City.

The plexiglass is “minimal protection,” Schaffner said in a phone interview, adding that the barriers are mostly “cosmetic.”

However, he added that barriers are one part of a “layered approach” that includes testing and distancing of everyone on stage. Those in the debate hall are required to wear a mask and there will be no handshake or physical greeting between Pence and Harris, according to the commission. Altogether, he said, the steps have likely reduced the risk of spread occurring.

The plexiglass barriers are just one “part of the CPD’s overall approach to health and safety,” according to a fact sheet distributed by the commission.

The debate is due to take place indoors and, of course, plenty of talking is expected. That’s important because the CDC released new guidance on Monday that said the virus can spread through particles in the air between people who are further than 6 feet apart in certain environments. The CDC said the risk of that occurring increases indoors and when people are doing certain activities, including speaking.

Unfortunately you’re not Mr. Burns, and there’s no such thing as being completely indestructible. So plexiglass shields are everywhere now based on CDC guidelines. And the truth of the matter is that they could not be helpful. Or someone could also be screwing with us. Because in a raging pandemic you can’t take too many precautions but when you do, make sure that the ones you take are going to protect you from the virus and will not hurt you.

You’ve no doubt seen the plexiglass dividers being used to protect people in different public settings.

They were even installed on the stage at the 2020 Vice Presidential Debate to shield the participants from each other.

But are they effective?

Both the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and Occupational Safety and Health Administration recommend the use of plexiglass and other barriers in work environments to reduce direct spread of potentially infectious droplets between people, especially in manufacturing, retail or food service settings where physical distance might not be consistent.

Even though these recommendations are in place, there is surprisingly little science that supports their use or that gives clear guidance on the best design for them.

That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the virtual pew make an online donation in the LAWRD’s virtual collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair virtual congregation! Is it safe to say that we are in the midst of a holy war? Because we are currently vying for the SOUL of this great country! And the reason I ask this is because I have been told by supporters of the unholy, ungodly Dark One, whose name shall not be spoken in my church that that is indeed the case! In fact, the Dark One is currently running a cult and it is a very dangerous and scary one at that. In fact here’s a perfect example of how one takes his indoctrination into the cult way too seriously and way too far!

Trump-loving right-wing pastor Robert Henderson streamed a video on his YouTube channel Friday night in which he declared that President Donald Trump was chosen by God and therefore “should never be criticized.”

Henderson, who claims to have secured Trump’s 2016 victory by beseeching “the courts of Heaven” and asserts that he has been called by God to serve as Trump’s spiritual running mate in 2020, warned that Christians who are criticizing Trump are bringing “a curse upon our nation.”

“I promise you there is a curse on our nation, not because the secular world speaks against President Trump, but because the Christian world does,” Henderson said. “We are violating the laws of God, and we are violating the ways of God by rising up and speaking evil against President Trump. People may not like his mannerisms, they may not like the way he does things, they may question his motives, but here’s the reality: He sits in the seat of the president of the United States of America, and because of that, he should never be reviled, he should never be spoken evil of, he should never be criticized.”

“I pray that all the negativity that has been spoken against President Trump, that it would not be held to our account,” Henderson wept, “and that the Lord would be merciful to large portions of the church that thinks that we have a right to our opinion.”

Now really there was a time when someone would talk like that and they would get sent to the place with padded walls and straight jackets! These days we give them a platform and followers who latch onto their garbage! Seriously we’re less than 4 weeks away from the election that could send the Dark One packing, so that means that extreme far right Christians have upped their ante!

The Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, now led by Billy Graham’s right-wing-activist son Franklin Graham, has turned the October issue of its “Decision” magazine into a virtual 38-page campaign brochure for President Donald Trump and the Republican Party. Franklin Graham hosted a “prayer march” on the National Mall on Sept. 26, the same day a group of End Times “prophets” hosted a rally calling for national repentance and revival.

The over-the-top propagandistic tone is set on the cover, which features a heroic image of Trump and a photo of Democratic presidential Joe Biden caught with a lost puppy look on his face.

Franklin Graham introduces the issue with a column under the headline, “Blessed in the nation whose God is the Lord,” a scriptural quote used often by Christian nationalists who insist the U.S. must “return” to God. Graham describes the Trump presidency as a “wonderful season of progress for the cause of religious freedom and the moral and Biblical values we hold dear,” and he warns that if Trump loses, all that “wonderful” progress could be quickly and permanently reversed.

The magazine warns that religious freedom is on the ballot, asking, “Will Christians remain free, or will the government impose a godless, immoral social agenda upon them?”

Man what book are you reading Reverend? You do *NOT* use GAWD to stump for the Dark One under any circumstances! For the good LAWRD JAYSUS is apolitical and if he were to meet the unholy one, would surely cast him into the fiery pit of HELL!!! Now here’s where they are taking the Holy War a step too far. Fake coach Dave Daubenmire is taking the battle against Hillary Clinton just a wee bit too far!

On his “Pass The Salt Live” broadcast Thursday morning, radical right-wing activist Dave Daubenmire declared that publicly executing Hillary Clinton would be “the greatest example of love.”

During the program, Daubenmire read from his recent column in which he proclaimed that “Hillary should hang from the neck until dead.”

“I do not believe that there has ever been a more corrupt American politician than Hillary Clinton,” Daubenmire said. “Her public life has been one slimy action after another. The demonic left loves her. There is no doubt in my mind that she is under control of very dark forces. Spiritual forces. Demonic forces. Gates of hell forces. Hillary Clinton is a child of the devil.”

“The greatest example of love is discipline,” he added later in the program. “The greatest example of love is to kill those traitors, so others learn never to do it.”

Now you’ve dang gone too far there, fake Coach! These people have a bizarre obsession with Hillary Clinton’s death, don’t they? I would hope that the Secret Service is protecting her 24/7. That said, despite all the unusually violent rhetoric coming from the Christian right during this madness, when the Civil War comes, it will be “business as usual”. But really since about March of 2020, nothing has been “business as usual”.

Right-wing pastor Rick Joyner posted a video on his Facebook page Friday in which he told viewers not to worry about the looming civil war that is supposedly coming to the United States because even though there will be violence and bloodshed, it’ll mostly be confined to the inner cities, and life will be “pretty much business as usual” for everyone else.

Joyner, who has been warning for years that the United States is heading for civil war and martial law and recently declared that God had “seeded our country” with military veterans who are experienced with urban warfare to head up “good militias,” assured his viewers that they would most likely be minimally impacted by the coming conflagration.

“Everyone, when they hear civil war, they think, ‘Oh no, every city, community, everybody’s gonna be in battles,'” Joyner said. “Think about it: Only a tiny percentage of the population of America was engaged in the first Civil War. Really it was 1 or 2 percent of the actual population of the country were engaged in battles in the Civil War. The rest of the country went on with business as usual.”

“Now, I believe this one is going to be of a different nature,” he continued. “It’s not gonna be pitched battles with armies. I believe it is going to be inner cities. I believe it’s gonna be a lot of militias engaged. I believe it’s going to be difficult, no doubt about it, but it’s going to be different. But still, in most of the country, it’s gonna be pretty much business as usual.”

So never mind that, just go buy things at Bed, Bath & Beyond and go to your favorite events during a civil war. It’s just business as usual! These people are clinically insane! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse
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Saturday Night Live is finally back with their first new episodes since the pandemic began and it’s been something of a mixed bag. You had SNL At Home, which fucking blew. But now they’re back in the studio with a live audience which has been good but not great. However, their attempts to cater to the right wing after being accused of liberal bias have backfired on them spectacularly. But first off let’s have a control group here, is that host Bill Burr had what some might call a “mixed” bag of jokes, mainly because he was railing on the concept of “cancel culture”. Now this is 2020 and the Me Too movement is 3 years old, so we’re already getting sick of the cancel culture talk!

Saturday Night Live continued its strong October kickoff with Bill Burr as its host in the Oct. 10 episode. It marked Burr’s first time doing the gig, but the seasoned comedian has an extensive resume when it comes to sketches and punchy routines.

He’s sarcastic, snarky, humorous, and at times raunchy, and his work can be seen in stand-up specials as well as scripted TV series. Burr is no stranger to commanding a stage, but his SNL opener left the audience divided with some expressing their discontent and others noting some ironies.

Twitter lit up with commentary during and after his monologue.

As some viewers chuckled out loud at Burr’s monologue, others weren’t feeling his cracks about white women, “wokeness,” and oppression.

After giving his explanation of the woke movement, Burr said white women “swung their Gucci-booted feet over the fence of oppression,” and hijacked the cause. He then referred to them as his “b*tches.”

One of the other parts of Burr’s routine that some people didn’t care for was his comparison of the Black History Month to Pride Month. Unhappy with his comments, some called him and his routine “trash,” “unfunny,” “embarrassing,” and “belittling.”

Seriously did you ever stop to think that the reason why you’re getting canceled is because you’re just not funny? Although that brings up another good subject – is how do you make fun of “woke” culture? It is not something you can really make fun of because otherwise your jokes come off as cringy and embarrassing. I mean seriously it’s been 3 years since the dawn of the Me Too Movement, and you really can’t joke about it.

When Saturday Night Live has a genuine stand-up comedian as a host, it can shift the whole structure of the show, which is what happened last week, with Chris Rock, and this week, with less famous comedian Bill Burr. Combined with the season’s endless debate sketches, a longer stand-up-based monologue can reduce the amount of airtime available for actual sketches. Unlike Rock’s gig, the Burr-hosted episode seemed to take some of its cues from Burr’s stand-up material — and with so few sketches making it to air, it only takes a few with common ground to make an episode feel more thematically unified than usual.

In his monologue, Burr poked fun at notions of wokeness and allyship, making his case that white women have hijacked national conversations about equality and that a longer, warmer gay pride month has an unfair advantage over February’s Black History Month. These jokes worked well enough on their own, if not wildly inventive in their development or execution. Burr’s set ended with an abrupt “that’s my time!” without the usual big-laugh button that’s supposed to precede it.

It’s not so far removed from the type of material Rock sometimes favors: acknowledging certain social ills without necessarily giving a left-leaning audience what they think they want or expect. Burr, though, had a whole episode that felt keyed into his lightly satirical yet not fully developed point of view. Then again, maybe Burr is just compatible with SNL’s ongoing struggle to figure out new, less predictable angles on, for lack of a better word to capitalize for faux-importance, The Discourse.

See we live in a weird time in the comedy world. The pandemic has killed live audiences for the foreseeable future, and “woke culture” as it’s been called has made everything from timeless monologues to current comedians super cringe worthy. And come on if you don’t know why they’re trying to cancel John Wayne… well let’s just remember that John Wayne was a racist asshole! And if you don’t know why, you’re probably a racist asshole too.

The second episode of Saturday Night Live’s 46th season opened with a noticeably low-energy sketch skewering last week’s vice-presidential debate.

Mike Pence (Beck Bennett) gets repeatedly called out by Kamala Harris (Maya Rudolph) for interrupting her, although he effectively puts her on the defense by pivoting to “the two issues Americans do care about: swine flu and fracking.”

The fracking question causes Harris to flip-flop and dodge, as does a later question regarding court packing.

But this is no match for the pesky insect that stakes its claim on Pence’s snow-white dome. It turns out it’s actually Joe Biden (Jim Carrey) who, sensing Harris needs his help, teleports to the debate but gets transformed into a half Jeff Goldblum/half fly creature in the process. (For those not up on their David Cronenberg, this is a reference to the classic Goldblum – starring The Fly).

And speaking of canceled, here’s the kind of jokes that they come up with in what’s been an increasingly humorless world. So since a lot of Bill Burr’s material is off limits, they joke about, among other things – pumpkin spice beer! And come on, Sam Adams is the Boston equivalent of Foster – if you are in a real Boston bar and you try to order that shit, they laugh at you! And yes, I have tried just about every beer that Sam Adams makes, including the Pumpkin Spice variety!

“Real Bostonians” agree that Sam Adams' Jack-O Pumpkin Ale is a win — at least when there’s nothing else to drink.

Canton native Bill Burr hosted “Saturday Night Live,” so of course there was a Boston-centric sketch.

The sketch included Burr in a fake commercial as a “real Bostonian” trying a new pumpkin beer, Jack-O Pumpkin Ale from Sam Adams, at the grocery store. The commercial is a parody, but the Jack-O Pumpkin Ale is real.

“This is the kind of beer somebody brings to a party at your house, and it just sits in the fridge for like eight months,” Burr says. “And then one day your buddy comes over and he’s like ‘Hey, you gotta beer?’ And I’m like, ‘Well, you know, I’ve got this pumpkin s***.’”

The sketch also includes the classic “non-beer drinker" and a guy talking about the beer’s hops.

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[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner
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Hello everyone and welcome to Conspiracy Corner! When people have things that they can’t explain, they turn to conspiracies of course! And this is the segment that attempts to explain the unexplainable! Of course I am coming to you live from an underground doomsday prepper shelter deep in the alkali flats of the New Mexico badlands. Undisclosed location of course. Now this week, the GOP is full of conspiracy theorists, and perhaps the two dumbest men in America – Jacob Whol and Jack Burkman, who we have covered on this program many times are finally throwing in the towel. Yes, they’ve decided to give up on their shenanigans and let the adults run things again. But they’re not going down without a fight! Just let me adjust my tin foil hat for maximum government interference and… there we go!

Two right-wing political operatives accused of orchestrating robocalls aimed at deterring voters in Detroit and other major cities from casting their ballots by mail were arraigned Wednesday on voter intimidation charges, according to Michigan Attorney General Dana Nessel.

Jack Burkman and Jacob Wohl were each charged last week with one count of intimidating voters, one count of conspiracy to commit an election law violation, one count of using a computer to commit the crime of intimidating voters and using a computer to commit the crime of conspiracy. The first two charges each carry a maximum of five years in prison and the latter two charges carry a maximum of seven years in prison.

Both men turned themselves in to Detroit law enforcement early Thursday morning, according to a news release and appeared for their court appearance virtually from the Detroit Detention Center.
"The Attorney General's office alleges that Burkman and Wohl attempted to deter electors from participating in the November election by creating and funding a robocall targeted at certain area codes, including Detroit and other major U.S. cities with significant minority populations," Nessel said in a release ahead of the court proceeding. "It's believed around 85,000 robocalls were made nationally, though an exact breakdown of the numbers of calls made to each city or state is not available."

That is a good question! Apparently the biggest kind because as we have pointed out, these guys are certifiably insane. And they are out to take down alleged democratic voter fraud… by committing real election fraud! Folks, I don’t need to tell you that voter intimidation is a crime and we are in the final hours of the election that could send Donald Trump packing. But his supporters aren’t going down without a fight. May they be regulated to the dust bin of history!

Two right-wing political operatives accused of voter intimidation in Michigan have turned themselves in to authorities in Detroit, Michigan Attorney General Dana Nessel announced Thursday.

Jack Burkman and Jacob Wohl appeared virtually for arraignment on multiple felony charges in the 36th District Court in Detroit.

The Attorney General’s office alleges that Burkman and Wohl attempted to deter electors from participating in the November election by creating and funding a robocall targeted at certain area codes, including Detroit and other major U.S. cities with significant minority populations. It’s believed around 85,000 robocalls were made nationally, though an exact breakdown of the numbers of calls made to each city or state is not available.

Burkman, a 54-year-old Arlington, Virginia resident, and Wohl, a 22-year-old Los Angeles resident, are each charged with:

One count of election law – intimidating voters, a five-year felony;
One count of conspiracy to commit an election law violation, a five-year felony;
One count of using a computer to commit the crime of election law – intimidating voters, a seven-year felony; and
Using a computer to commit the crime of conspiracy, a seven-year felony.

That is a good point sir! And yes these two if found guilty, will be going away for a long time, and they will emerge at a time when Trump is no longer president, so no pardon, fellas! And by the way that’s not the only thing these two idiots have been up to. They’ve also been scheming and attracting the attention of the FBI through their leaking of documents pertaining to conspiracy theorist #1 Roger Stone’s trial. Yes, it goes all the way to the top!!!

The FBI is investigating blundering conservative operatives Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman for a series of possible crimes, according to a document filed by federal prosecutors.

Ironically, the document revealing the investigation was filed just days after Wohl and Burkman staged a fake FBI raid on Burkman’s home in a bid for media attention.

The FBI investigation centers on Wohl and Burkman’s February release of confidential juror questionnaires from the trial of Trump associate Roger Stone. The FBI is investigating the pair for potential witness harassment, criminal contempt, and obstruction of justice, according to the filing.

The case could mark more legal trouble for the pair, who have become notorious in the political world for their quickly foiled schemes to smear Trump opponents with bogus sexual assault allegations.

In an email to The Daily Beast, Burkman said he wasn’t aware of any FBI investigation. Wohl told The Daily Beast via a text message that he also didn’t know about the case.

So voter intimidation and jury tampering… any other crimes these two Trumpiest of the Trump supporters can conjure up? How about extreme robodialing? Yes, not only are they trying to rig the election (and failing badly at it), they’re also engaging in some extreme voter fraud and misinformation regarding propositions and ballot reforms! Really, the sooner these two idiots go away and are never heard from again, the better!

Jacob Wohl, a conservative activist known for his largely bumbling attempts to stage political scandals, has been charged with running a robocalling scheme to spread false election information. Michigan Attorney General Dana Nessel filed four felony charges today against Wohl and his partner Jack Burkman. They’re accused of targeting Detroit residents with calls that discouraged voting, including false claims that mail-in ballots would let health agencies “track people for mandatory vaccines.”

Wohl and Burkman allegedly targeted voters in Michigan, New York, Pennsylvania, Ohio, and Illinois, making a total of around 85,000 calls in August. The calls claimed to come from a group called “Project 1599, a civil rights organization founded by Jack Burkman and Jacob Wohl,” and they were aimed at areas with large Black populations, urging them to not “be finessed into giving your private information to the man.”

Michigan officials denounced the calls at the time, but they stopped short of confirming that they were made by Wohl and Burkman. The 2020 presidential election has been fraught with concerns about misinformation and voter suppression, especially because many voters could be mailing in their ballots amid the coronavirus pandemic. President Donald Trump, who has retweeted posts by Wohl, has repeatedly and falsely cast doubt on mail-in voting’s validity. Wohl himself was suspended from Twitter last year after announcing that he would create fake accounts to interfere with the election.

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people and people are dumb. So who is dumb this week? I want to start with dumb products. And this product… may be one of the dumbest! Seriously, there’s a high tech chastity belt for men out there. Who the fuck would buy this and who the fuck would actually wear this thing? Oh and there’s no surprise that it can be hacked! I mean come on it’s one thing to get an STD. It’s another thing to get a virus on the device that’s supposed to be protecting your junk. Really I have so many questions about this thing. But if we answer all of them… fuck, I just don’t have that kind of time!

A security flaw in a hi-tech chastity belt for men made it possible for hackers to remotely lock all the devices in use simultaneously.

The internet-linked sheath has no manual override, so owners might have been faced with the prospect of having to use a grinder or bolt cutter to free themselves from its metal clamp.

The sex toy's app has been fixed by its Chinese developer after a team of UK security professionals flagged the bug.

They have also published a workaround.

This could be useful to anyone still using the old version of the app who finds themselves locked in as a result of an attacker making use of the revelation.

Any other attempt to cut through the device's plastic body poses a risk of harm.

Good pull! Next up – poop! Yes, our bathroom time is never immune from a People Are Dumb story, and we go to the state of Michigan for this one! Yes, Florida isn’t the only state where the stupid and crazy exist. Shocker – they are everywhere!!! And this disgusting story is definitely something that Trump era politics have brought on us. And well, let’s let the story do the talking.

A man pooped in an empty box, closed it, then left it on a shelf at a Van Buren Township Meijer, police said Tuesday.

The Meijer's security footage recorded the suspect pooping in the aisle and then placing the box containing feces back on the shelf. This incident took place at the Meijer store located at 9701 Belleville Rd. on Thursday around 4 p.m. The suspect also stole some items from the store.

Employees at Meijer brought the footage over to Van Buren Township Police.

Police uploaded the footage onto their Facebook page. However, Meijer officials requested the department to take any images and videos of the incident down, citing their corporate policy as a reason.

The suspect left the parking lot in a light-colored Ford Escape. Police said they have no leads on any suspects at this point.

Somehow I don’t think Flushing Meadows is supposed to work that way! Next up – we of course have to go to America’s most penis-shaped state, the Sunshine State, good old Florida. Florida is always one of the craziest states in the union and for good reason. For one thing – the Good Book is not supposed to be a weapon! Unless you’re John Wick, but if that’s the case, that dude can literally use anything as a weapon. But if you’re not John Wick, don’t do it!

A man who’d just broken into his neighbor’s home because he claimed God told him to throw a Bible at a deputy who responded to the scene, according to the Marion County Sheriff’s Office.

Deputies said the victim called them on Sept. 22 because he returned to his home in Summerfield after being gone for about an hour and found that his door had been kicked in.

The man’s neighbor, 39-year-old Robert Hoskins, told him, “I (expletive) up man, I was mad," records show.

Hoskins had asked the victim to borrow clothes and when the man declined, he waited until he left and kicked down the door, according to the affidavit.

Deputies said as they arrived at the scene, Hoskins approached them while only wearing underwear, yelled something along the lines of “I condemn you” and threw a Bible, hitting a deputy in the face.

After that, records show Hoskins was hit with a Taser so that he could be subdued and handcuffed.

Next up – we go to the Florida town of St. Petersburg! Look, I know times are tough right now because of COVID and we could all use a pick me up. But maybe don’t follow the lead of Florida Man and start passing out weed like it’s Halloween candy. Yeah really. I sure could use a hit right now and I know a lot of us could. But in some parts of the country – mainly in those run by conservative states – weed is still illegal last I checked!

A man accused of passing out marijuana over the weekend to people in downtown St. Petersburg told police he was doing it “because it was Christmas,” according to multiple reports.

Records from the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office show police arrested Richard Ellis Spurrier, 67, on Saturday to face one count each of possession of drug paraphernalia and possession of marijuana with the intent to distribute.

In an arrest affidavit obtained by the Tampa Bay Times, police said officers saw small pieces of marijuana hanging off one of Spurrier’s shirt sleeves when they spotted him around 11:30 p.m. near the intersection of Second Street and Central Avenue.
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When officers approached him, they noticed Spurrier carried a backpack. A search of the bag turned up 45 grams of marijuana, a prescription bottle bearing Spurrier’s name and a glass pipe and a digital scale with marijuana residue on them, WTSP reported.

Good point Homer! Finally this week is yet another Florida Man story – and this might be one of the strangest Florida Man stories yet! We go to the town of Ocala, that’s the home of John Travolta don’t you know. So here’s the thing, if you are out fishing and you find something like, I don’t know, an explosive hand grenade, do you really think your next stop should be getting some fast food? I know that I don’t!

A Florida man made an explosive discovery Saturday while magnet fishing.

While using a magnet to search water for salvage items, the fisherman pulled up a World War II hand grenade, according to police in Ocala, Florida, about 80 miles northwest of Orlando.

The fisherman threw the grenade in his trunk and drove to a Taco Bell, where he called police. The Taco Bell was evacuated, police said, but was reopened later that day.

Ocala police later verified on their Facebook page the device was a WWII hand grenade and a bomb squad had removed the device without incident.

That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Road To The White House: Trump Bails On Debate
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Welcome back to…. Cue reverb… ROAD TO THE WHITE HOUSE!! Oh man that was some good reverb there. Last week, which seems like an eternity ago this year, we covered the first presidential debates and of course the term “shit show” doesn’t even begin to describe it. Of course we are in a raging pandemic and all rules about the way society is supposed to function are thrown out the window, and we are in an election year at that! But then again Trump is still our president, and he refuses to abide by the rules. So put those two things together and the question is asked – is there a possibility there will even be a second debate? To which I answer: “are you fucking kidding me?”.

It seemed novel when Donald Trump boycotted the final debate before the Iowa caucuses four years ago.

This time, polls and the timing of the election suggest, it looks more like a mistake.

Twenty-six days before the election, more than 6.3 million people have already voted, according to the United States Elections Project, and that number is ballooning by the day. In declaring Thursday he wouldn't do a remote debate, he's surrendering an opportunity, with an audience of tens millions, to turn around his campaign.

“I don’t see how he catches up to and passes [Joe] Biden without two more debates,” said Frank Luntz, the veteran Republican consultant and pollster. “While an online debate is clearly problematic, no debate at all is worse.”

Trump's reelection prospects are already precarious, at best. He is running behind Biden by nearly 10 percentage points nationally, and he has given up so much ground in battleground states that Biden is expanding the map into states that Trump was once expected to win comfortably, like Texas and Ohio.
https://ww w.politico.com/news/2020/10/08/trump-debate-boycott-428039

So rather than play by the rules and hold a virtual rally, Trump instead is going out on his own and holding super spreader events! So what happens if Trump decides to again bail on the second debate – it’s widely known that he’s infected with COVID and continues to infect everyone in his path, so the idea of holding an in-person debate is out of the question. But there’s no mistaking that Trump is an abusive, obnoxious jerk and would love to give Biden the virus if he could!

The fate of the final debates between President Donald Trump and Democrat Joe Biden was thrown into uncertainty Thursday as the campaigns offered dueling proposals for moving forward with a process that has been upended by the president’s coronavirus infection.

By Thursday afternoon, it was unclear when or how the next debates would proceed, or whether voters would even get to see the two men running for the White House on the same stage again before Election Day.

The whipsaw day began with an announcement from the nonpartisan Commission on Presidential Debates, which said the next debate on Oct. 15 would be held virtually. The commission cited health concerns following Trump’s infection as the reason for changing the structure of the town hall-style debate.

Trump, who is eager to return to the campaign trail despite uncertainty about his health, said he wouldn’t participate if the debate wasn’t in person. Biden suggested the event be delayed a week until Oct. 22, which is when the third and final debate is already scheduled.

That is true and Trump is quite the evil fucker. In fact not only does he have COVID, he’s flying out to Florida (obviously) to do another in-person campaign event. And of course his supporters don’t give a flying fuck about COVID or their own health. Dear Leader is speaking and they will avoid Satan himself to go see him! But here’s where it gets creepy and weird.

Donald Trump has claimed he is immune to coronavirus and told a rally it makes him feel ‘so powerful’ he would jump into the crowd and give supporters a ‘big fat kiss’. The US president called the pandemic a ‘lovefest’ and threw face masks into the crowd of hundreds at the Orlando Sanford International Airport, Florida, on Monday night. Trump told the predominantly mask-less audience: ‘One thing with me, the nice part: I went through it, now they say I’m immune. ‘I feel so powerful, I’ll walk into that audience. I’ll walk in there, I’ll kiss everyone in that audience. I’ll kiss the guys and the beautiful women, everyone, I’ll just give you a big fat kiss.’

Speaking at his first rally since falling ill, the 74-year-old president defended his handling of the pandemic – which has so far killed 215,000 Americans – in a bid to revive his campaign with just weeks to go until Election Day. Although he was admitted to hospital with the virus only a week ago, Trump claimed to the audience the pandemic was almost a thing of the past. He said: ‘Under my leadership, we’re delivering a safe vaccine and a rapid recovery like no one can even believe. ‘If you look at our upward path, no country in the world has recovered the way we have recovered.’

Read more: https://metro.co.uk/2020/10/13/trump-tells-fans-hell-give-them-big-fat-kiss-after-covid-infection-at-packed-rally-13412428/?ito=cbshare

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! EW! EW! EW! EW! EW! EW! EW! Wait a minute… EW. Why the flying fuck does he always make every thing so creepy and weird? Because he is a creepy weirdo and it’s just totally disgusting. OK now that I have got that off my chest, you know what the GOP really thinks of us and Joe Biden? Well let’s just say that they’ve gone full asshole and now all rules are off the table.

Ronna McDaniel seethed at the Commission for Presidential Debates for their decision to adopt a virtual format for their second event of the 2020 election.

The GOP chairwoman remains in quarantine after testing positive for Covid-19, which seems to have originated from the White House’s apparent super-spreader event that left President Donald Trump and many others infected. Nonetheless, McDaniel gave an interview to Fox News’ Sandra Smith on Thursday, where the focus was on Trump’s refusal to participate in a virtual debate.

McDaniel began by slamming the commission and saying it was “filled with Republicans who have been very critical of this president, and a large group of Democrats.” After that, she insinuated that the commission is in Joe Biden’s pocket, claiming “47 years of Joe Biden being in D.C. has bought him a lot of favors across the aisle.”

“I hope no future nominee of our party works with this commission,” McDaniel said. “They are a total joke and they are hurting our democracy and impacting this election.”

[font size="8"]And Now This:

Folks last week we lost one of the greats of all time – Eddie Van Halen. And I know that live music is off the table right now so I am paying tribute to him through live music. Really anyone who knows the Sunset Strip scene has a Van Halen story or two. Me I’ve always liked his song “Right Now” from his 1991 album “For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge” and it’s a protest song even though it at one point was used for a Pepsi product that no longer exists. So here it is – Van Halen performing “Right Now”.

Folks, before we get out of here, a programming note. Next week is our last new regular Top 10 before the election. 10/28 will be a Viewer’s Choice All Time Best Of (with maybe a new entry or two), and 11/4 will go dark. Maybe we will do a Top 10 Mini depending on how I feel or how things are going. We will be back in full on 11/11 once the dust has been settled – and hopefully in a much better mood than we have been the last 4 years! Next week, we will have our final thoughts going into the election in “Road To The White House”.

See you next week!


Host: Initech
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