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Fri Sep 25, 2020, 11:10 PM

Obama Proposes Cancelling White House's Cable to Get Trump to Leave

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—As Donald J. Trump refuses to commit to a peaceful transfer of power in January, former President Barack Obama suggested that cancelling the White House’s cable-TV account could induce the President to leave.

“This is a man who enjoys watching television,” Obama told reporters. “What if, on Inauguration Day, he picks up the remote and nothing comes on?”

“This seems like the most peaceful way to get him to go,” Obama said.

Obama also said that, in order to avoid a constitutional crisis, the White House’s supply of Diet Coke could also be cut off, but added, “I don’t think it will come to that.”

“Once it dawns on him that there’s no cable, his days will stretch out before him in a vista of emptiness,” Obama said. “No ‘Fox & Friends.’ No Tucker Carlson. And no Shark Week.”

“He’ll be on the next helicopter out,” Obama predicted.


Short article, no more at link: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/obama-proposes-cancelling-white-houses-cable-to-get-trump-to-leave




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Arrow 27 replies Author Time Post
Reply Obama Proposes Cancelling White House's Cable to Get Trump to Leave (Original post)
Rhiannon12866 Sep 25 OP
Blue Owl Sep 25 #1
LeftInTX Sep 25 #2
Stallion Sep 25 #3
soothsayer Sep 25 #4
Hoyt Sep 25 #5
CatWoman Sep 25 #6
BootinUp Sep 25 #7
Hugin Sep 25 #8
VarryOn Sep 25 #9
Generic Brad Sep 25 #10
Dem2theMax Sep 25 #11
James48 Sep 25 #12
Rhiannon12866 Sep 26 #13
uriel1972 Sep 26 #14
Sugarcoated Sep 26 #15
Ilsa Sep 26 #16
Rhiannon12866 Sep 26 #17
uriel1972 Sep 26 #19
Cha Sep 26 #18
Gothmog Sep 26 #20
Rhiannon12866 Sep 26 #23
LuvNewcastle Sep 26 #21
Aussie105 Sep 26 #22
smirkymonkey Sep 26 #24
Rhiannon12866 Sep 26 #25
backtoblue Sep 26 #26
Rhiannon12866 Sep 26 #27

Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Fri Sep 25, 2020, 11:12 PM

1. Bwah!

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Fri Sep 25, 2020, 11:14 PM

2. Better yet, cancel it now! He'll quit campaigning!

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Fri Sep 25, 2020, 11:15 PM

3. BRILLIANT!!!

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Fri Sep 25, 2020, 11:23 PM

4. Ha!

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Fri Sep 25, 2020, 11:31 PM

5. Funny.

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Fri Sep 25, 2020, 11:32 PM

6. LOL!!!!

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Fri Sep 25, 2020, 11:33 PM

7. I hope hes saved up a bunch of these, lol nt

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Fri Sep 25, 2020, 11:36 PM

8. Just put a man-child blocker on it.

Nothing, but, NOVA and other hard science shows.

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Fri Sep 25, 2020, 11:37 PM

9. God, I hope we see a lot of him over the next few weeks...

he would add so much to the campaign.

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Fri Sep 25, 2020, 11:43 PM

10. That is how to handle a bully

Mock and belittle him!

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Fri Sep 25, 2020, 11:58 PM

11. Has to be one of the funniest things I've read in ages.

And it would probably work!

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Fri Sep 25, 2020, 11:58 PM

12. You know what is really bad?

It used to be pretty easy to identify when Borowitz was writing satire.

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Response to James48 (Reply #12)

Sat Sep 26, 2020, 12:02 AM

13. You're right!

These days it's a toss up whether it's Andy Borowitz or LBN...

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Sat Sep 26, 2020, 12:04 AM

14. leave a trail of cocaine out the WH door

and you might be in luck.

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Sat Sep 26, 2020, 12:15 AM

15. Freaking hilarious

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Sat Sep 26, 2020, 12:26 AM

16. Cut internet and put a jammer on his phone

to eliminate his access to twitter, as well. He wouldn't be able to survive without whining online.

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Response to Ilsa (Reply #16)

Sat Sep 26, 2020, 12:29 AM

17. I said a long time ago that we need to replace his (unsecured) phone:

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Response to Ilsa (Reply #16)

Sat Sep 26, 2020, 12:33 AM

19. he might, but the rest of us will feel better

without his online presence I'm sure

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Sat Sep 26, 2020, 12:32 AM

18. Pres Obama & Borowitz know their

subject.

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Sat Sep 26, 2020, 01:16 AM

20. "Operation 8 Piece",

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Response to Gothmog (Reply #20)

Sat Sep 26, 2020, 01:44 AM

23. LOL! Good one!

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Sat Sep 26, 2020, 01:17 AM

21. Start doing random drug tests.

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Sat Sep 26, 2020, 01:42 AM

22. Other moves:

Turn off power to the WH. And water. Turn off the sewage system.

No phone charging, no toilet flushing? Kitchen staff walk out and open refrigerator doors on the way out.
Just wait a week!

Block deliveries of Depends, air freshener, newspapers, candles, diet Coke, KFC and other fast food orders.

Refuse to fly or fuel up the chopper, jet.

Make the Secret Service goons go out to eat and bring nothing back.

Yes, it's a thread done in joke - but who knows, Borowitz may be onto something.

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Sat Sep 26, 2020, 01:46 AM

24. K&R



I knew this was going to be Borowitz! Hilarious! Thanks Rhiannon!

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Response to smirkymonkey (Reply #24)

Sat Sep 26, 2020, 01:50 AM

25. This is as good a suggestion as we've heard!

And DUers here have come up with a few more! I think we need to pass these along to the Biden campaign!

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Sat Sep 26, 2020, 05:44 AM

26. HA!

This is funny as hell!



Needed a laugh.

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Response to backtoblue (Reply #26)

Sat Sep 26, 2020, 05:47 AM

27. I know!

Laughs are few and far between these days, so I'll also take all I can get!

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