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Sun Aug 16, 2020, 06:19 PM

So, I am middle of Trump Country

We were, in same, before we moved from Tn,and even more so, In our lil section of Fla.
So my new, across street neighbor,very friendly, we were welcomed and we talk almost daily, and most important,LilBit loves his dog.
Then he brought up politics,, and yep, he was Trumper. And he did norm, trust me ,there is a point to this.

So he starts, N** Obama,,B*** Hillary.. I calmly said ,I do not agree and neither of them are President right now, remember, we just moved here 2 months ago. And he said What has B*** Pelosi done lately. I said ,,"have you read the Senate web page with all the bills not brought to floor?"

Long story short.. This man, reminds Mrs K of her Dad before he died,, so we listen, we make extra food each night so him and his pup will eat well, and I take it across street nightly. Here is where it hit the fan.

About 10 days ago,Mrs made quick trip back to Tn to take care of a few things. So I asked him to come eat with Lil Bit and I while Mrs was gone. He agreed ,brought puppy, LilBit had a great time! And we sat and talked, and then he started on the R statements, with the same words. And I told him, "I will listen to your military language anywhere, as I was Army too. But talk like that in front of LilBit,you need to go now."

I thought I blew the whole neighborhood of ours. But Miracles!! He has talked to me daily, brought LilBit a couple of horse trophys as she loves horses and he worked in that field.

Most importantly, He has been asking me questions, told me "I looked at that web site,,whats going on?" so I explained,he actually listened. Then he asked me a question,, " you know you don't fit here,,right?" I replied,, " I don't fit anywhere other than LilBits Dad, that's what I base my mind on."He said, " well, my mind changed. What do I do?"

And I told him,,"when you vote, Click the other button." and he swore again, I f***** will"

My point is,,we do not to go out looking for fights for our beliefs at expense of missing what is being brought into our face.

Koz

70 replies, 11082 views

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Arrow 70 replies Author Time Post
Reply So, I am middle of Trump Country (Original post)
kozar Aug 2020 OP
Ohiogal Aug 2020 #1
iluvtennis Aug 2020 #16
kozar Aug 2020 #22
Roland99 Aug 2020 #2
elleng Aug 2020 #3
kozar Aug 2020 #9
chwaliszewski Aug 2020 #24
blm Aug 2020 #4
smirkymonkey Aug 2020 #5
Binkie The Clown Aug 2020 #6
LiberalArkie Aug 2020 #13
kozar Aug 2020 #20
DemocratSinceBirth Aug 2020 #7
kozar Aug 2020 #10
DemocratSinceBirth Aug 2020 #11
kozar Aug 2020 #23
Laelth Aug 2020 #8
SheltieLover Aug 2020 #12
kozar Aug 2020 #14
AllTooEasy Aug 2020 #26
kozar Aug 2020 #31
ChazII Aug 2020 #60
kozar Aug 2020 #69
No Vested Interest Aug 2020 #15
kozar Aug 2020 #18
Karadeniz Aug 2020 #17
Native Aug 2020 #19
safeinOhio Aug 2020 #21
Midnight Writer Aug 2020 #53
gademocrat7 Aug 2020 #25
ecstatic Aug 2020 #27
kozar Aug 2020 #67
yardwork Aug 2020 #28
KY_EnviroGuy Aug 2020 #29
Evolve Dammit Aug 2020 #30
moonscape Aug 2020 #32
oldsoftie Aug 2020 #33
kozar Aug 2020 #34
oldsoftie Aug 2020 #35
kozar Aug 2020 #37
Hekate Aug 2020 #39
oldsoftie Aug 2020 #40
malaise Aug 2020 #45
oldsoftie Aug 2020 #47
niyad Aug 2020 #56
CatWoman Aug 2020 #36
lambchopp59 Aug 2020 #38
lucca18 Aug 2020 #48
kozar Aug 2020 #68
Hekate Aug 2020 #41
kozar Aug 2020 #46
StocktonNative Aug 2020 #42
StocktonNative Aug 2020 #43
malaise Aug 2020 #44
herding cats Aug 2020 #49
greenjar_01 Aug 2020 #50
kozar Aug 2020 #52
Joinfortmill Aug 2020 #51
steve2470 Aug 2020 #54
DFW Aug 2020 #55
lagomorph777 Aug 2020 #57
NoRoadUntravelled Aug 2020 #58
Tom Rinaldo Aug 2020 #59
CaptainTruth Aug 2020 #61
Faygo Kid Aug 2020 #62
StarryNite Aug 2020 #63
wryter2000 Aug 2020 #64
BootinUp Aug 2020 #65
calimary Aug 2020 #66
kozar Aug 2020 #70

Response to kozar (Original post)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 06:24 PM

1. Wow. Just wow.

Awesome story. I don’t know if I could be so kind to a person who called Obama ,Pelosi, and Hillary those names. Just goes to show that some people just need to be nudged n the right direction sometimes.

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Response to Ohiogal (Reply #1)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 07:03 PM

16. Ditto. nt

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Response to Ohiogal (Reply #1)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 07:24 PM

22. Just goes to show LilBit's

power,,not mine,,



Koz

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 06:28 PM

2. What's that saying about flies and sugar?



Bravo

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Response to Roland99 (Reply #2)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 06:32 PM

3. Zacly

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Response to Roland99 (Reply #2)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 06:47 PM

9. it says

Honey attracts flies,,but manure attracts more,,so what's the point?

Hattip to Sheldon on BigBang Theory.

Koz

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Response to Roland99 (Reply #2)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 07:30 PM

24. I believe the correct saying is this...

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 06:34 PM

4. 👍🏼

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 06:34 PM

5. K&R

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 06:34 PM

6. My guess is...

... the language and political opinions are the norm in his circle, and so he assumed you were of the same mind. It wasn't so much that he held those beliefs strongly as that he expressed what his peer group expressed as a sign of solidarity with them. He said what he said because, like everyone, he simply wanted to fit in with his circle.

When I was in high school (over 60 years ago) I started "expressing" some pretty radical right wing ideas when I fell in with a group that also expressed those ideas. I did it to feel accepted and part of the "in crowd". But when I stopped to actually think about it, I realized that I didn't really believe those things, and didn't need or want their approval, so their peer pressure ceased to influence me. But some people spend their whole lives only exposed to one point of view, and so never stop to question that point of view.

Their peer group is not a safe place for them to consder new ideas, but sometimes all it takes to pop that bubble is to gently expose them to different points of view and make it safe for them to actually think about the issues rather than simply signaling solidarity by spouting the expected stock phrases.

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Response to Binkie The Clown (Reply #6)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 06:57 PM

13. Exactly.

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Response to Binkie The Clown (Reply #6)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 07:22 PM

20. oh yes this,

perfectly explained as real life situations. TY, hope you and yours are well.

Koz

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 06:37 PM

7. He used the N word in front of you?

I can count on one hand the times it's been used in my presence and none since adulthood.

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Response to DemocratSinceBirth (Reply #7)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 06:51 PM

10. yeah,,it was bold,

I got through my fingers,, halfway through my toes,until I was in a situation where I didn't feel like I was attacking a Repuke, and I could go on offense. And for record,,we are not AfricanAmerican. sorry if something got implied that totally wasn't.
Koz

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Response to kozar (Reply #10)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 06:54 PM

11. I have heard more than my share of casual racism and anti-semitism.

But thankfully not the N word.

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Response to DemocratSinceBirth (Reply #11)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 07:28 PM

23. it cuts, because,

the N word is a precursor to the rest,, which came into LilBits world. I was calm, he never called her a name in front of her, but he did use those words on front of LilBit,and I drew the line.


Koz

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 06:37 PM

8. Well done, brother. Well done! k&r n/t



-Laelth

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 06:57 PM

12. You go, K!!!!!

Great job!!!!!

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 06:58 PM

14. please everyone,,,,

I did not post this for what I did.

I was hoping that we could learn, everything is online now, we see viral videos of people approaching people without masks and challenging them. THIS IS NOT US. My point on this is simply, what do you believe? I hate non mask wear's in public, but if we believe,, we walk away and protect ours,which is what I do,we do not advance and confront. Until it comes into our "space" if you will. Which is what I did and explaining.

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Response to kozar (Reply #14)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 07:34 PM

26. I guess I'm not part of your "Us"

I confront those who are willfully poisoning our communities(not wearing masks), and my AZ community isn’t saturated with “Southern Hospitality”. Sugar may work around “Southern gentlemen and bells” who breath the n-word, but folks within some parts of the country require (proverbial) smacks upside the head to change their minds.

Never the less, good job and good luck

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Response to AllTooEasy (Reply #26)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 08:08 PM

31. So why?

why would you confront? while you just said poisoning? why would you,,with your statement,even walk towards that?

Koz

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Response to kozar (Reply #31)

Mon Aug 17, 2020, 11:15 AM

60. I am also from Arizona

but I walk the path that you explained in your OP. My area neighbors are wearing masks with the exception of walking their dogs or going for an early morning jog.

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Response to kozar (Reply #31)

Mon Aug 17, 2020, 11:48 PM

69. so,,guess I'm caught up now,

been a very busy couple days in KozLand.. I have read all responses now and ty..I will offer this,,LilBit is 32 years old...this dumpy thing is only 4 years old. I do not need to be commended or anything f I r patience or whatever. Simply because,

LilBit is way more complex than any Trumper..I'm just lucky that she taught me how to deal with them! Here is the big and real point,,

I love LilBit... I would have been patient, semi quiet,or anything without her and her Mom.. they taught me all this.

It just happens to fit, perfectly into our political situation. Seriously..

Koz

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 07:00 PM

15. You are my hero, Kozar.

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Response to No Vested Interest (Reply #15)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 07:06 PM

18. omg,,I.m nothing! Just a Dad.

As Democrats,, we do not confront,,we protect and react! I wish we could protect and never have to react, but we have R's in America.

IMO ,,heroes are almost always Repukes, they seem to love their heroes. I'm not one of them.


Koz




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Response to kozar (Original post)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 07:05 PM

17. You're a hero!!!!❤

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 07:10 PM

19. i HAVE SO MUCH RESPECT FOR YOU RIGHT NOW!

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 07:24 PM

21. I really try to be extra nice

to those I disagree with. Seems to change more minds than arguing with them.

Good job.

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Response to safeinOhio (Reply #21)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 11:20 PM

53. Yep. Kill them with kindness, and communicate.

Lots of times, if you can deescalate, you can poke a hole in their bubble.

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 07:31 PM

25. Thank you

for enlightening your neighbor.

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 07:35 PM

27. So... he was only saying what he thought was expected of him

to "fit in" and now he's voting for Biden?

I really admire your patience and ability to converse with people like that.

Not my cup of tea though.

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Response to ecstatic (Reply #27)

Mon Aug 17, 2020, 11:27 PM

67. Well, I got LilBit

I was never patient but she taught me..
Koz

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 07:39 PM

28. Wow! Congratulations. You changed his mind through kindness and persistence.

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 07:40 PM

29. Good job, Koz. I would have reacted the same way about cussin' in front of kids.

I suspect there's a percentage of Republican voters that were brought up to be critical thinkers but somehow got trapped in the right-wing information bubble in adulthood. For those, it just takes a heavy dose of reality to shake them out of them out of the bubble.

Unfortunately, there's a lot of adults who were brought up as kids to not think for themselves in very rigid authoritarian homes and those are the ones that probably can't be helped. For many of those, it's unfortunate their thinking is even reinforced in their church as well as daily doses of Faux News and talk radio.


KY.....

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 07:50 PM

30. Thank you. They are in the alternate reality of faux TV and 45 land. Good work. And it is work.

Brainwashing un-doing is not easy. At all.

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 08:08 PM

32. Remarkable story in so many ways. Wish I

had your patience and wisdom and can only say: thank you for your service.

Wow.

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 08:11 PM

33. Oddly I see a "Stand against Kamala Harris" ad on the center of this OP.

I guess DU has no control over what ads get placed where?

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Response to oldsoftie (Reply #33)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 08:14 PM

34. well I surely didn't post it,,ty you for your useless input..Koz,,nt

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Response to kozar (Reply #34)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 08:18 PM

35. Of course you didnt post it. Just thought DU might want to check that kind of thing.

Geeze. Lighten up, Francis.

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Response to oldsoftie (Reply #35)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 08:21 PM

37. I am so,

light,,I adopted a child,,you chose to post this on my post.. I dont give a damn about what you think,

Got a problem with Du? talk to them, Do not come into my world of my challenged daughter,, you SUCK,,

Koz

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Response to oldsoftie (Reply #35)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 08:33 PM

39. All you have to do (and you know this already) is donate a few bucks & ads will go poof!

I don’t see ANY ads, except GrovelBot, and he’s our guy

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Response to Hekate (Reply #39)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 08:35 PM

40. Actually, i didnt! But thank you. It has been a little while.

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Response to oldsoftie (Reply #35)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 08:43 PM

45. The ads disappear when you contribute to the site n/t

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Response to malaise (Reply #45)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 08:48 PM

47. Thank you; I didnt know that. Explains it.

I did donate before i ever signed up. But that was a long time ago! Not a lot of "free" funds available lately but i'm hoping that changes soon.

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Response to oldsoftie (Reply #33)

Mon Aug 17, 2020, 09:12 AM

56. There are a lot of puke ads on DU. It amuses me to think that they are actually paying to

Support us.

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 08:21 PM

36. what a wonderful post!!!

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 08:30 PM

38. I'm compelled to share this

My late father was lost to the Fox Noise rabbit hole, never recovered. A bit prone to racism, (ironic because it was his native American blood that got us labelled as the "bad blood" by my mother's all-too-lily-white side of the family) and easy to anger and resort to violence. I had to do some therapy to un-learn some behavior in my latter youth, after I ran away from them.
Basically, I was disowned, particularly by my dad, because I wouldn't fall in line with his brand of "redneck conservatism". Didn't help that I'm gay, either. That.... was kind of a biggie, but I digress.
All my siblings made tracks fast from the stormy atmosphere of home as well. So our parents ended up isolated with nothing but the damn Fox Noise blaring propaganda at them. Oh, crap, their outdated mode of living became a living nightmare of continual bashing anyone outside of their ilk. I think Fox Noise intentionally geared their programming to appeal to that WWII generation, now mostly long gone. Basically since the unwelcome mat was always out for me, I stayed distant.
So double down on the irony that I was the one most qualified, and most financially able to go fight the good fight to have him put away in a nursing home, against his will. Discovery was made of physical abuse that had become extreme towards my mother. It's sad I had to witness it, but that was the legal binding Achilles heel that got him put safely away in a lock down facility. My mother died peacefully in her bed later, far more relaxed and in good home care with him put up.
My father never was particularly a "nice" person. But he had truly become a monster, peppered with right-wing-isms thrown about indiscriminately: ultimate self-revealing irony in him at one point calling me one of those "liberal takers" bleeding a living off the "makers". "Really now" I retorted. "I've never been on public assistance in my life, been continually employed, god only knows you didn't give me a thing, now I'm here to try and help you both with tremendous troubles because I have the resources to do so, but I'm a "taker". Like wow, dad, you need to shut off Fox News". My mother laughed so hard I thought she'd choke.
It's truly astounding what such brainwashing can do to those so deluded by it.

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Response to lambchopp59 (Reply #38)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 09:01 PM

48. Thank you for sharing your story.

You are a good person.

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Response to lambchopp59 (Reply #38)

Mon Aug 17, 2020, 11:31 PM

68. ty

I'm catching up,a day or 2 later..ty for sharing

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 08:36 PM

41. How is LilBit doing now, koz? She looked so tiny in that hospital bed I wondered how old she is...

Doesn’t matter — only that she got better.

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Response to Hekate (Reply #41)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 08:44 PM

46. OMG this question,,

Yes,, I give her shots,,and she laughs at me each time, we are down to a shot once a week.. she is doing very well,TY.
a couple blood tests we waiting on. But I am seeing LilBit mentally getting back to normal, which means,, "Dad. you make me cheesy eggs each morn, and then,,I need a tuck for my post breakfast nap..oh,,,Dad,,, you forgot? I need to be tucked often?"


with no more,, I guess Lil Bit is doing well,,,lol

shots will continue,with pills



Koz

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 08:38 PM

42. So Your Neighbor is an ALT-RIGHT WeakWhyte Racist

who doesn't like diversity or getting out of the house.

Those fools just huddle up like cows and die from the herd mentality population control.

Stupid Hucklefvcks.

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Response to kozar (Original post)


Response to kozar (Original post)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 08:41 PM

44. What a lovely post

Thank you

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 09:14 PM

49. You are a kind and gentle soul.

I'm not religious, but I am spiritual and you touched me.

I found this beautiful and moving. Thank you for sharing.

My love to you three.

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 09:17 PM

50. Somebody used the n-word in your presence and you didn't walk out of the room and

you continued to speak with and engage with them?



Check YOURSELF.

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Response to greenjar_01 (Reply #50)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 09:36 PM

52. why wouldn't I stay and listen?

If I simply reacted and walked away,,could I have any argument next time we met. remember,this is across the street. where I live,,or across the room,or across the hall,or across anything,, so you are saying I should have just went off? and that would have solved,,exactly what? I chose to step back,,as we should when in a face to face situation and bring my fight later, which happened to work. never think for a second I put LilBit in danger as your reply suggests. I chose to listen,,protect mine,,and engage in conversation. if you want to readjust your reply .. the one thing we have as Dems,is ,,we listen, we respond,,we hear hatred,,and we respond again.
So greenjar_01 wanna respond again after you answer my question,, if you hear the n word and walk out,,,what did that solve?


Koz

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Sun Aug 16, 2020, 09:18 PM

51. There is hope

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Mon Aug 17, 2020, 12:57 AM

54. You are to be commended for coping with that racism and nonsense of his...

As you have seen here, some others might have walked out and perhaps cussed him out while kicking him out of your home. Very understandable reactions. I must confess, I would have either shut down all political discussions or asked him to leave.

You perservered, and now hopefully he will at least consider the Democratic/centrist/left-of-center arguments and candidates. If you had cussed him out and told him to leave, he would undoubtedly still be stewing in the toxic brew of Faux and hate radio/internet.

Maybe he will even persuade another person or two to open their minds too.

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Mon Aug 17, 2020, 07:54 AM

55. Proving, once again

Ignorance is one of our biggest enemies, if not our biggest enemy of all. The point of flooding the airwaves with Fox Noise and National Hate Radio is to make sure all truth is drowned out, and only their version of reality remains.

In the days before the wall fell, when you crossed over into the "true existing socialism (their expression)" of East Germany--day visits to East Berlin were permitted for a price--all newspapers, in ANY language, were confiscated by the very vigilant border guards. The people there could get western TV and radio in many parts of East Germany, but you never knew who was going to report you for listening to it. The Stasi had tens of thousands of "IM," or "inoffizielle Mitarbeiter (unofficial collaborators)."

The point is that any dictatorship fears the worst if the population informs and educates itself. Better to convince them they are living in a paradise, and they need not ask what is going on anywhere else in the world. It's the same whether in East Berlin or in Oklahoma. If the people recognize BS, then they will stop believing it. Only if they do not recognize it as such do they continue to accept it as the gospel truth.

Your patience paid off, and you actually had someone who was willing to listen. That is usually an uphill struggle that few end up winning.

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Mon Aug 17, 2020, 09:15 AM

57. Well done! You pressed exactly the right button!

Who'd have thought that factual reality could persuade a Trumpie.

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Mon Aug 17, 2020, 10:30 AM

58. I love your story. You are far more kind and patient than I am.

I am awed and humbled and still a bitch.

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Mon Aug 17, 2020, 10:36 AM

59. Thank you, just thank you n/t

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Mon Aug 17, 2020, 11:31 AM

61. Wow! Thank you for listening to him & talking to him, & for sharing your story!

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Mon Aug 17, 2020, 12:17 PM

62. I'm past that point. Fuck'em all.

I'm done.

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Mon Aug 17, 2020, 12:23 PM

63. Well done!

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Mon Aug 17, 2020, 02:41 PM

64. Well done!

I would not have had the patience.

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Mon Aug 17, 2020, 03:15 PM

65. Nice job.

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Mon Aug 17, 2020, 03:21 PM

66. And another soul is SAVED!

Thank you, kozar!

Great story! Encouraging! I'll take every "LilBit" of encouragement I can get!

Virtual

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Response to calimary (Reply #66)

Mon Aug 17, 2020, 11:54 PM

70. I see what you did

made me chuckle


Koz

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