So, I am middle of Trump Country

[kozar]

We were, in same, before we moved from Tn,and even more so, In our lil section of Fla.
So my new, across street neighbor,very friendly, we were welcomed and we talk almost daily, and most important,LilBit loves his dog.
Then he brought up politics,, and yep, he was Trumper. And he did norm, trust me ,there is a point to this.

So he starts, N** Obama,,B*** Hillary.. I calmly said ,I do not agree and neither of them are President right now, remember, we just moved here 2 months ago. And he said What has B*** Pelosi done lately. I said ,,"have you read the Senate web page with all the bills not brought to floor?"

Long story short.. This man, reminds Mrs K of her Dad before he died,, so we listen, we make extra food each night so him and his pup will eat well, and I take it across street nightly. Here is where it hit the fan.

About 10 days ago,Mrs made quick trip back to Tn to take care of a few things. So I asked him to come eat with Lil Bit and I while Mrs was gone. He agreed ,brought puppy, LilBit had a great time! And we sat and talked, and then he started on the R statements, with the same words. And I told him, "I will listen to your military language anywhere, as I was Army too. But talk like that in front of LilBit,you need to go now."

I thought I blew the whole neighborhood of ours. But Miracles!! He has talked to me daily, brought LilBit a couple of horse trophys as she loves horses and he worked in that field.

Most importantly, He has been asking me questions, told me "I looked at that web site,,whats going on?" so I explained,he actually listened. Then he asked me a question,, " you know you don't fit here,,right?" I replied,, " I don't fit anywhere other than LilBits Dad, that's what I base my mind on."He said, " well, my mind changed. What do I do?"

And I told him,,"when you vote, Click the other button." and he swore again, I f***** will"

My point is,,we do not to go out looking for fights for our beliefs at expense of missing what is being brought into our face.

Koz

[Ohiogal]

1. Wow. Just wow.

Awesome story. I don’t know if I could be so kind to a person who called Obama ,Pelosi, and Hillary those names. Just goes to show that some people just need to be nudged n the right direction sometimes.

[iluvtennis]

16. Ditto. nt

[kozar]

22. Just goes to show LilBit's

power,,not mine,,



Koz

[Roland99]

2. What's that saying about flies and sugar?

Bravo

[elleng]

3. Zacly

[kozar]

9. it says

Honey attracts flies,,but manure attracts more,,so what's the point?

Hattip to Sheldon on BigBang Theory.

Koz

[chwaliszewski]

24. I believe the correct saying is this...

[blm]

4. 👍🏼

[smirkymonkey]

5. K&R

[Binkie The Clown]

6. My guess is...

... the language and political opinions are the norm in his circle, and so he assumed you were of the same mind. It wasn't so much that he held those beliefs strongly as that he expressed what his peer group expressed as a sign of solidarity with them. He said what he said because, like everyone, he simply wanted to fit in with his circle.

When I was in high school (over 60 years ago) I started "expressing" some pretty radical right wing ideas when I fell in with a group that also expressed those ideas. I did it to feel accepted and part of the "in crowd". But when I stopped to actually think about it, I realized that I didn't really believe those things, and didn't need or want their approval, so their peer pressure ceased to influence me. But some people spend their whole lives only exposed to one point of view, and so never stop to question that point of view.

Their peer group is not a safe place for them to consder new ideas, but sometimes all it takes to pop that bubble is to gently expose them to different points of view and make it safe for them to actually think about the issues rather than simply signaling solidarity by spouting the expected stock phrases.

[LiberalArkie]

13. Exactly.

[kozar]

20. oh yes this,

perfectly explained as real life situations. TY, hope you and yours are well.

Koz

[DemocratSinceBirth]

7. He used the N word in front of you?

I can count on one hand the times it's been used in my presence and none since adulthood.

[kozar]

10. yeah,,it was bold,

I got through my fingers,, halfway through my toes,until I was in a situation where I didn't feel like I was attacking a Repuke, and I could go on offense. And for record,,we are not AfricanAmerican. sorry if something got implied that totally wasn't.
Koz

[DemocratSinceBirth]

11. I have heard more than my share of casual racism and anti-semitism.

But thankfully not the N word.

[kozar]

23. it cuts, because,

the N word is a precursor to the rest,, which came into LilBits world. I was calm, he never called her a name in front of her, but he did use those words on front of LilBit,and I drew the line.


Koz

[Laelth]

8. Well done, brother. Well done! k&r n/t

-Laelth

[SheltieLover]

12. You go, K!!!!!

Great job!!!!!

[kozar]

14. please everyone,,,,

I did not post this for what I did.

I was hoping that we could learn, everything is online now, we see viral videos of people approaching people without masks and challenging them. THIS IS NOT US. My point on this is simply, what do you believe? I hate non mask wear's in public, but if we believe,, we walk away and protect ours,which is what I do,we do not advance and confront. Until it comes into our "space" if you will. Which is what I did and explaining.

[AllTooEasy]

26. I guess I'm not part of your "Us"

I confront those who are willfully poisoning our communities(not wearing masks), and my AZ community isn’t saturated with “Southern Hospitality”. Sugar may work around “Southern gentlemen and bells” who breath the n-word, but folks within some parts of the country require (proverbial) smacks upside the head to change their minds.

Never the less, good job and good luck

[kozar]

31. So why?

why would you confront? while you just said poisoning? why would you,,with your statement,even walk towards that?

Koz

[ChazII]

60. I am also from Arizona

but I walk the path that you explained in your OP. My area neighbors are wearing masks with the exception of walking their dogs or going for an early morning jog.

[kozar]

69. so,,guess I'm caught up now,

been a very busy couple days in KozLand.. I have read all responses now and ty..I will offer this,,LilBit is 32 years old...this dumpy thing is only 4 years old. I do not need to be commended or anything f I r patience or whatever. Simply because,

LilBit is way more complex than any Trumper..I'm just lucky that she taught me how to deal with them! Here is the big and real point,,

I love LilBit... I would have been patient, semi quiet,or anything without her and her Mom.. they taught me all this.

It just happens to fit, perfectly into our political situation. Seriously..

Koz

[No Vested Interest]

15. You are my hero, Kozar.

[kozar]

18. omg,,I.m nothing! Just a Dad.

As Democrats,, we do not confront,,we protect and react! I wish we could protect and never have to react, but we have R's in America.

IMO ,,heroes are almost always Repukes, they seem to love their heroes. I'm not one of them.


Koz

[Karadeniz]

17. You're a hero!!!!❤

[Native]

19. i HAVE SO MUCH RESPECT FOR YOU RIGHT NOW!

[safeinOhio]

21. I really try to be extra nice

to those I disagree with. Seems to change more minds than arguing with them.

Good job.

[Midnight Writer]

53. Yep. Kill them with kindness, and communicate.

Lots of times, if you can deescalate, you can poke a hole in their bubble.

[gademocrat7]

25. Thank you

for enlightening your neighbor.

[ecstatic]

27. So... he was only saying what he thought was expected of him

to "fit in" and now he's voting for Biden?

I really admire your patience and ability to converse with people like that.

Not my cup of tea though.

[kozar]

67. Well, I got LilBit

I was never patient but she taught me..
Koz

[yardwork]

28. Wow! Congratulations. You changed his mind through kindness and persistence.

[KY_EnviroGuy]

29. Good job, Koz. I would have reacted the same way about cussin' in front of kids.

I suspect there's a percentage of Republican voters that were brought up to be critical thinkers but somehow got trapped in the right-wing information bubble in adulthood. For those, it just takes a heavy dose of reality to shake them out of them out of the bubble.

Unfortunately, there's a lot of adults who were brought up as kids to not think for themselves in very rigid authoritarian homes and those are the ones that probably can't be helped. For many of those, it's unfortunate their thinking is even reinforced in their church as well as daily doses of Faux News and talk radio.


KY.....

[Evolve Dammit]

30. Thank you. They are in the alternate reality of faux TV and 45 land. Good work. And it is work.

Brainwashing un-doing is not easy. At all.

[moonscape]

32. Remarkable story in so many ways. Wish I

had your patience and wisdom and can only say: thank you for your service.

Wow.

[oldsoftie]

33. Oddly I see a "Stand against Kamala Harris" ad on the center of this OP.

I guess DU has no control over what ads get placed where?

[kozar]

34. well I surely didn't post it,,ty you for your useless input..Koz,,nt

[oldsoftie]

35. Of course you didnt post it. Just thought DU might want to check that kind of thing.

Geeze. Lighten up, Francis.

[kozar]

37. I am so,

light,,I adopted a child,,you chose to post this on my post.. I dont give a damn about what you think,

Got a problem with Du? talk to them, Do not come into my world of my challenged daughter,, you SUCK,,

Koz

[Hekate]

39. All you have to do (and you know this already) is donate a few bucks & ads will go poof!

I don’t see ANY ads, except GrovelBot, and he’s our guy

[oldsoftie]

40. Actually, i didnt! But thank you. It has been a little while.

[malaise]

45. The ads disappear when you contribute to the site n/t

[oldsoftie]

47. Thank you; I didnt know that. Explains it.

I did donate before i ever signed up. But that was a long time ago! Not a lot of "free" funds available lately but i'm hoping that changes soon.

[niyad]

56. There are a lot of puke ads on DU. It amuses me to think that they are actually paying to

Support us.

[CatWoman]

36. what a wonderful post!!!

[lambchopp59]

38. I'm compelled to share this

My late father was lost to the Fox Noise rabbit hole, never recovered. A bit prone to racism, (ironic because it was his native American blood that got us labelled as the "bad blood" by my mother's all-too-lily-white side of the family) and easy to anger and resort to violence. I had to do some therapy to un-learn some behavior in my latter youth, after I ran away from them.
Basically, I was disowned, particularly by my dad, because I wouldn't fall in line with his brand of "redneck conservatism". Didn't help that I'm gay, either. That.... was kind of a biggie, but I digress.
All my siblings made tracks fast from the stormy atmosphere of home as well. So our parents ended up isolated with nothing but the damn Fox Noise blaring propaganda at them. Oh, crap, their outdated mode of living became a living nightmare of continual bashing anyone outside of their ilk. I think Fox Noise intentionally geared their programming to appeal to that WWII generation, now mostly long gone. Basically since the unwelcome mat was always out for me, I stayed distant.
So double down on the irony that I was the one most qualified, and most financially able to go fight the good fight to have him put away in a nursing home, against his will. Discovery was made of physical abuse that had become extreme towards my mother. It's sad I had to witness it, but that was the legal binding Achilles heel that got him put safely away in a lock down facility. My mother died peacefully in her bed later, far more relaxed and in good home care with him put up.
My father never was particularly a "nice" person. But he had truly become a monster, peppered with right-wing-isms thrown about indiscriminately: ultimate self-revealing irony in him at one point calling me one of those "liberal takers" bleeding a living off the "makers". "Really now" I retorted. "I've never been on public assistance in my life, been continually employed, god only knows you didn't give me a thing, now I'm here to try and help you both with tremendous troubles because I have the resources to do so, but I'm a "taker". Like wow, dad, you need to shut off Fox News". My mother laughed so hard I thought she'd choke.
It's truly astounding what such brainwashing can do to those so deluded by it.

[lucca18]

48. Thank you for sharing your story.

You are a good person.

[kozar]

68. ty

I'm catching up,a day or 2 later..ty for sharing

[Hekate]

41. How is LilBit doing now, koz? She looked so tiny in that hospital bed I wondered how old she is...

Doesn’t matter — only that she got better.

[kozar]

46. OMG this question,,

Yes,, I give her shots,,and she laughs at me each time, we are down to a shot once a week.. she is doing very well,TY.
a couple blood tests we waiting on. But I am seeing LilBit mentally getting back to normal, which means,, "Dad. you make me cheesy eggs each morn, and then,,I need a tuck for my post breakfast nap..oh,,,Dad,,, you forgot? I need to be tucked often?"


with no more,, I guess Lil Bit is doing well,,,lol

shots will continue,with pills



Koz

[StocktonNative]

42. So Your Neighbor is an ALT-RIGHT WeakWhyte Racist

who doesn't like diversity or getting out of the house.

Those fools just huddle up like cows and die from the herd mentality population control.

Stupid Hucklefvcks.

[malaise]

44. What a lovely post

Thank you

[herding cats]

49. You are a kind and gentle soul.

I'm not religious, but I am spiritual and you touched me.

I found this beautiful and moving. Thank you for sharing.

My love to you three.

[greenjar_01]

50. Somebody used the n-word in your presence and you didn't walk out of the room and

you continued to speak with and engage with them?



Check YOURSELF.

[kozar]

52. why wouldn't I stay and listen?

If I simply reacted and walked away,,could I have any argument next time we met. remember,this is across the street. where I live,,or across the room,or across the hall,or across anything,, so you are saying I should have just went off? and that would have solved,,exactly what? I chose to step back,,as we should when in a face to face situation and bring my fight later, which happened to work. never think for a second I put LilBit in danger as your reply suggests. I chose to listen,,protect mine,,and engage in conversation. if you want to readjust your reply .. the one thing we have as Dems,is ,,we listen, we respond,,we hear hatred,,and we respond again.
So greenjar_01 wanna respond again after you answer my question,, if you hear the n word and walk out,,,what did that solve?


Koz

[Joinfortmill]

51. There is hope

[steve2470]

54. You are to be commended for coping with that racism and nonsense of his...

As you have seen here, some others might have walked out and perhaps cussed him out while kicking him out of your home. Very understandable reactions. I must confess, I would have either shut down all political discussions or asked him to leave.

You perservered, and now hopefully he will at least consider the Democratic/centrist/left-of-center arguments and candidates. If you had cussed him out and told him to leave, he would undoubtedly still be stewing in the toxic brew of Faux and hate radio/internet.

Maybe he will even persuade another person or two to open their minds too.

[DFW]

55. Proving, once again

Ignorance is one of our biggest enemies, if not our biggest enemy of all. The point of flooding the airwaves with Fox Noise and National Hate Radio is to make sure all truth is drowned out, and only their version of reality remains.

In the days before the wall fell, when you crossed over into the "true existing socialism (their expression)" of East Germany--day visits to East Berlin were permitted for a price--all newspapers, in ANY language, were confiscated by the very vigilant border guards. The people there could get western TV and radio in many parts of East Germany, but you never knew who was going to report you for listening to it. The Stasi had tens of thousands of "IM," or "inoffizielle Mitarbeiter (unofficial collaborators)."

The point is that any dictatorship fears the worst if the population informs and educates itself. Better to convince them they are living in a paradise, and they need not ask what is going on anywhere else in the world. It's the same whether in East Berlin or in Oklahoma. If the people recognize BS, then they will stop believing it. Only if they do not recognize it as such do they continue to accept it as the gospel truth.

Your patience paid off, and you actually had someone who was willing to listen. That is usually an uphill struggle that few end up winning.

[lagomorph777]

57. Well done! You pressed exactly the right button!

Who'd have thought that factual reality could persuade a Trumpie.

[NoRoadUntravelled]

58. I love your story. You are far more kind and patient than I am.

I am awed and humbled and still a bitch.

[Tom Rinaldo]

59. Thank you, just thank you n/t

[CaptainTruth]

61. Wow! Thank you for listening to him & talking to him, & for sharing your story!

[Faygo Kid]

62. I'm past that point. Fuck'em all.

I'm done.

[StarryNite]

63. Well done!

[wryter2000]

64. Well done!

I would not have had the patience.

[BootinUp]

65. Nice job.

[calimary]

66. And another soul is SAVED!

Thank you, kozar!

Great story! Encouraging! I'll take every "LilBit" of encouragement I can get!

Virtual

[kozar]

70. I see what you did

made me chuckle


Koz