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Sat Jul 25, 2020, 02:40 AM

Trump to Throw Out First Amendment at Yankee Stadium

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In an event that he described as “historic,” Donald J. Trump announced that he will throw out the First Amendment at Yankee Stadium next month.

“It’s going to be an amazing and fantastic thing I’ll be doing,” Trump said. “I’ve asked a lot of history experts, and they all say that no President has thrown out an amendment before.”

“Obama was President for eight years and never threw out an amendment,” he said. “What a loser.”

Trump said that he had considered throwing out the First Amendment “many, many times before” but had ultimately decided to preserve freedom of the press for his friends at Fox News.

“But, thanks to that beauty Chris Wallace, now I know that Fox is just as nasty and fake as the rest,” he said. “The only real journalist left is that nice lady at OAN.”

When asked how he is preparing for his Yankee Stadium appearance, Trump said that he is consulting with other world leaders who are experienced in throwing out laws.

“I had a terrific conversation with Vladimir Putin,” Trump said. “They don’t have a First Amendment in Russia, but he said that, if they did, he would definitely throw it out. So that made me feel good.”

Trump grew misty-eyed as he contemplated his upcoming visit to Yankee Stadium.

“I can’t believe I’ll be throwing out the First Amendment,” he said. “Every little boy dreams of this.”


Short article, no more at link: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-to-throw-out-first-amendment-at-yankee-stadium



Photograph by Jessica Rinaldi / Reuters


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Reply Trump to Throw Out First Amendment at Yankee Stadium (Original post)
Rhiannon12866 Jul 2020 OP
underpants Jul 2020 #1
Rhiannon12866 Jul 2020 #2
malaise Jul 2020 #6
smirkymonkey Jul 2020 #3
Rhiannon12866 Jul 2020 #4
brer cat Jul 2020 #5
UTUSN Jul 2020 #7
Blue Owl Jul 2020 #8

Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Sat Jul 25, 2020, 03:30 AM

1. The headline got me

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Response to underpants (Reply #1)

Sat Jul 25, 2020, 04:14 AM

2. i had to read it twice, too...

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Response to underpants (Reply #1)

Sat Jul 25, 2020, 08:29 AM

6. It's brilliant n/t

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Sat Jul 25, 2020, 04:43 AM

3. Love Andy Borowitz!

Hilarious!

God, that photo of Trump is so hideous! Most pics of him are, but that one is especially disgusting. He is such an ugly creature.

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Response to smirkymonkey (Reply #3)

Sat Jul 25, 2020, 04:55 AM

4. I don't know where that one was taken, but I did a Search and it's been published all over

So Andy Borowitz is in good company! And Trump really is hideous! In every possible way! How anyone can stand him, let alone support him, boggles the mind! Are they hypnotized or what??

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Sat Jul 25, 2020, 07:23 AM

5. Andy Borowitz for the win!

K&R

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Sat Jul 25, 2020, 08:37 AM

7. O.K., ya (not Andy) got me, thought it was you not him!1

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Sat Jul 25, 2020, 08:44 AM

8. LOL

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