HomeLatest ThreadsGreatest ThreadsForums & GroupsMy SubscriptionsMy Posts
DU Home » Latest Threads » Forums & Groups » Main » General Discussion (Forum) » Need to vent about one of...

Sun May 31, 2020, 11:52 AM

Need to vent about one of my housemates. . .

He just looked up from his phone and said, "Breaking news: Almost 70% of Minneapolis residents have finished their Christmas shopping."

Har. Har.

I try to keep peace within myself by reminding myself that I don't have to let him live inside my head just because we live in the same house. But I am finding it harder to keep my peace/piece(?) around him.

Some of his other pearls of wisdom includes a comment made months ago regarding black men having problems with the police. "Seems to me if you just keep your mouth shut and do what you're told you won't have any trouble." Translation: It's black people's fault when police get heavy-handed.

He was watching Tiger King when one of the women on the show talked about being raped at knife point by three men when she was 14 years old. "How desperate were they?", he asked.

One of my favorites: Espousing his opinion on Chef Jose Andres when nobody asked. "It's great that he's feeding people and all that. But I don't get why he supports illegal immigrants. If somebody is doing something illegal, that kinds of makes them a criminal, right?"

A few months later, during a conversation going on around me (most of these conversations go on around me in the sense that I am not participating) another housemate made some comment on about this dude's former career selling weed. But he wasn't like some of those other weed dealers, who were gang members. Translation: When he sells a controlled substance that is currently illegal, that doesn't really make him a criminal.

This morning around 10:45, he poured his vodka and whatever mix into a tall glass and took his pot paraphernalia downstairs to the lounge area. Honestly, the best parts of my days are whenever he leaves.

Thanks for letting me bitch. And yes, I do judge people who drink so early in the day at every possibility while I do think that marijuana should be legalized. Maybe I am just a judgy bitch. But I know better than to pontificate pedantically about the experiences of people whose skin that I don't live in.

(I also have an unnatural love of alliteration.)

13 replies, 1123 views

Reply to this thread

Back to top Alert abuse

Always highlight: 10 newest replies | Replies posted after I mark a forum
Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 13 replies Author Time Post
Reply Need to vent about one of my housemates. . . (Original post)
Collimator May 2020 OP
The Magistrate May 2020 #1
Delmette2.0 May 2020 #2
The Velveteen Ocelot May 2020 #3
flying_wahini May 2020 #4
LakeArenal May 2020 #5
Collimator May 2020 #12
LakeArenal May 2020 #13
captain queeg May 2020 #6
trixie2 May 2020 #7
benld74 May 2020 #8
ibegurpard May 2020 #9
demtenjeep May 2020 #10
backscatter712 May 2020 #11

Response to Collimator (Original post)

Sun May 31, 2020, 11:58 AM

1. Is He On a Lease, Ma'am?

If not, put his ass on the street and get a new housemate.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Collimator (Original post)

Sun May 31, 2020, 12:05 PM

2. I have stayed silent and I have spoken up against racism.

What I have learned is that if you have good arguments and confidence speak up against these individuals. Silence can mean that you agree with them.

I am not criticizing you. I am just saying that you may have enough verbal skills and knowledge to shut this person down. Only you can judge the situation, but take that leap of faith in yourself when you can.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Collimator (Original post)

Sun May 31, 2020, 12:08 PM

3. Is there any way either you or he could be living elsewhere?

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Collimator (Original post)

Sun May 31, 2020, 12:09 PM

4. Maybe he is just uninformed? Kind of stupid?


Can you educate his with some facts and talk back to him about it?
Convert him!

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Collimator (Original post)

Sun May 31, 2020, 12:10 PM

5. I get your rant but...

You sound like a victim of domestic abuse.

Speak up in your own home. Any excuse
like I donít want to set him off. I have no where else to go. Whatever. If you arenít in the lease, get out. If you both are, start contacting your landlord and documenting why you are going to break the lease. Then do it. Contact your local renter/ landlord organization.

Read what your lease says about breaking the lease or subletting your space.
Put ads in the paper for a replacement.

This is a bad time for bad stuff to happen. You have to deal with it.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to LakeArenal (Reply #5)

Sun May 31, 2020, 01:21 PM

12. Thanks for the ear and all the support.

But I don't consider myself a victim here. This housemate is a good friend of the two home owners. They invited him in after I had already rented.

I lived with two family members and there were times that I felt verbally abused. One of them would jump down my throat for reasons that really didn't call for it and since I was paying almost no rent and then a very low rent (with no where else to go) I put up with it

I have no sense of physical fear around this person. And even when he is low-grade drunk or stoned--which is many nights--I just avoid him and keep my door locked. (This is because I sometimes see him standing there wondering how to operate a door.)

I don't have a lot of money and in many ways this is the best living situation that I have had in many years. My landlords are very good to me and are not Fox watchers.

They are like a lot of people who think that they are liberal and not racists because they don't actively hate on black people and use rude words. But then they go and say unthinking things like "And they say that they don't want to be looked at a certain way. . .", when watching a reality TV show about people in the hip hop world. Yeah, the people on the show are being absurd and overdramatic and kind of stupid. That's reality TV, folks. Are Honey Boo-Boo and her crowd behaving with composure and decorum?

The difference between white people acting like jackasses and black people acting like jackasses is that when many white people see such behavior, they think, "uh! Some people and don't directly connect the behavior of the jackasses with white folk in general. When they see black people act like jackasses they feel like somehow those folk are responsible for the perception of black people in general. And the black people that they do know and interact with are "the good ones."

When black people can act like asshats and fools and not be thought of as reflecting on the character of black people in general that's when we will know that we have beaten racism.

So, yes, I am okay where I am for the time being and, in fact, I count myself lucky. I may look into another living situation in a few years because the one housemate was supposed to be here only while he looked for a house to buy. Granted, the quarantine situation threw off many peoples plans, but he may be settled in permanently because he and one of the landlords are playmates who like a lot of the same things. Including some TV shows that I consider low-brow.

But I have to consider the fact that I might just be a snob. And if it bothers me that they both get mildly buzzed and talk continually through the television shows and expound on all sorts of subjects like they are THE experts, well, that's life and that's how people are sometimes. I can be full of myself as well. And I have interests and tastes that other people don't share. (Also I can leave the room. )

I regularly see this quote on The "Soundscapes" Music Channel : "Being happy doesnít mean that everything is perfect. It means that you have decided to look beyond the imperfections.Ē

My point is that I try to take a philosophical view of things. Once again, I am very grateful for the support and this venue for getting things off my chest. There is another quote that I see on my music channel that is attributed to Gandhi. "For every minute that you are angry you lose 60 seconds of happiness." I was angry when I composed my post--but I ain't giving away my happiness to anybody.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Collimator (Reply #12)

Sun May 31, 2020, 01:28 PM

13. Great to hear. I'm glad for you.

I maybe shouldnít jump, but I was a landlord for many years. Contrary to what some believe, some landlords want no part of abusive people. We become emotionally involved with residents. At least the good ones do.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Collimator (Original post)

Sun May 31, 2020, 12:10 PM

6. I hadn't had roommates for a very long time until recently

To save money I moved into a shared housing arrangement. Mostly people kept to themselves and minded there own business but there were a couple guys who I found obnoxious. Fortunately I only had to deal with them rarely and moved out after less than a year. Personally I donít mind living pretty cheaply as long as I have my own space I already knew that was important to me but it just reemphasized it. There was only one guy who was a real Fox fan and was pretty much what youíd expect of one.

I guess it wasnít all a bad experience and having to live and deal with others didnít really hurt me. Just glad I donít have to do it.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Collimator (Original post)

Sun May 31, 2020, 12:21 PM

7. exactly why I have never had a roommate

Even at 18 I knew I could not do the dorms so I found an upper flat by school. It was so cool. Later I found a guest house in Grosse Pointe Park where I had to agree to drive the owner, old lady, to church every Sunday and then to get groceries. All places extremely cheap.

I have a boyfriend of 11 years and we don't live together. We may, at some point, buy places next to each other or maybe just in the same neighborhood. Never had a fight.

If it makes you feel better - I can hardly stand myself at 74 days of shelter-in-place.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Collimator (Original post)

Sun May 31, 2020, 12:41 PM

8. My older sister called me yesterday

To tell me stay out of STL tonight
Sis, I live in STL
The city
Sis, I live in the city
Downtown
Not all of downtown in Ďbadí
Well, I was watching STL news
Sis, I didnít see the news
I was reading FB news
FB news cannot be trusted. I het my news from a variety of reputable sites.
I worry about your oldest
She knows whatís going on. She stays safe. Thanks for the update. Call u later sis. Love ya

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Collimator (Original post)

Sun May 31, 2020, 12:56 PM

9. Get a new roommate

Why would you expose youself to that shit? Move out or kick him out (whichever your situation calls for) and let him know why.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Collimator (Original post)

Sun May 31, 2020, 12:58 PM

10. someone needs an eviction notice

no one, absolutely no one in my home would ever talk that way more than one time.

After I got done with them, they would probably leave and send someone else for their things because they would be so embarrassed.

Do NOT mistake my kindness for weakness. Not at ALL

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Collimator (Original post)

Sun May 31, 2020, 01:08 PM

11. People like him are why I toke...

🌿 - It also helps that I live in a legal state.

I had a roommate that was a bag of dicks like that. We parted ways long ago, though I still see him on Facebook from time to time (I keep a few rabid right-wingers as "pets" on Facebook, to keep tabs on what they're thinking, and so I'm not the one living in a bubble. I never had any luck housebreaking them.)

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Reply to this thread