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Thu May 21, 2020, 04:50 AM

Trump Fears Painting of Obama at White House Would Spy on Him

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald Trump is terrified of hanging an official portrait of former President Barack Obama at the White House because he is convinced that the painting would spy on him, a White House source has confirmed.

According to the source, when Trump was informed that unveiling a portrait of his predecessor was a storied White House tradition, “he totally freaked out.”

“You know what will happen,” Trump reportedly said. “That painting will be able to see and hear everything I do.”

In an increasingly paranoid rant, Trump explained that the painting of Obama, having collected damaging information about him, would then be able to pass that information on to former Vice-President Joe Biden.

Suddenly afraid that the White House corridors were lined with potentially traitorous paintings, Trump demanded that the portraits of all former Presidents who might betray him be removed immediately.

“The only one who made the cut was Nixon,” the source said.


Short article, no more at link: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-fears-painting-of-obama-at-white-house-would-spy-on-him




29 replies, 2547 views

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Arrow 29 replies Author Time Post
Reply Trump Fears Painting of Obama at White House Would Spy on Him (Original post)
Rhiannon12866 May 21 OP
Lady_Chat May 21 #1
Lady_Chat May 21 #2
Rhiannon12866 May 21 #3
meadowlander May 21 #4
Rhiannon12866 May 21 #9
smirkymonkey May 21 #25
Buns_of_Fire May 21 #5
Jamastiene May 21 #10
Hermit-The-Prog May 21 #6
montana_hazeleyes May 21 #7
Kaiserguy May 21 #12
Jamastiene May 21 #8
Rhiannon12866 May 21 #11
Harker May 21 #13
Rhiannon12866 May 21 #15
Harker May 21 #20
Rhiannon12866 May 21 #22
BlueJac May 21 #14
PatrickforO May 21 #16
Rhiannon12866 May 21 #17
Fritz Walter May 21 #18
Rhiannon12866 May 21 #23
smirkymonkey May 21 #26
montana_hazeleyes May 21 #28
smirkymonkey May 21 #29
Gothmog May 21 #19
NCjack May 21 #21
Disaffected May 21 #24
UTUSN May 21 #27

Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)


Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Thu May 21, 2020, 05:08 AM

2. LOL!

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Response to Lady_Chat (Reply #2)

Thu May 21, 2020, 05:18 AM

3. At least it's a step up from the microwave!

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Reply #3)

Thu May 21, 2020, 05:20 AM

4. Increasingly, there's a Randy Rainbow for that



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Response to meadowlander (Reply #4)

Thu May 21, 2020, 05:30 AM

9. LOL! Perfect!

I don't think I'd seen that before! He's always just the best!

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Response to meadowlander (Reply #4)

Thu May 21, 2020, 12:31 PM

25. That was one of my all time favorite Randy pieces!

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Thu May 21, 2020, 05:20 AM

5. And how does he know? The painting of Nixon told him.

"That hydroxychloroquine's a helluva drug," added the painting of St. Ronald.

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Response to Buns_of_Fire (Reply #5)

Thu May 21, 2020, 05:31 AM

10. ROFL!



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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Thu May 21, 2020, 05:22 AM

6. And laughing... always laughing at the Grotesque Orange Pustule Pretender Tweeter.

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Thu May 21, 2020, 05:28 AM

7. When I first clicked, I thought this might be true. lol

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Response to montana_hazeleyes (Reply #7)

Thu May 21, 2020, 06:10 AM

12. Given how nuts Trump is

it may very well be true. Satire in the age of Trump is hard to do, since with Trump anything is possible. After all farmers now needs gun to protect their potatoes.

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Thu May 21, 2020, 05:30 AM

8. I know it is satire, but

is it really? Trump is the most paranoid fucker I've ever seen. I'm surprised he doesn't REALLY feel that way. Fucker is off his rocker paraniod.

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Response to Jamastiene (Reply #8)

Thu May 21, 2020, 05:52 AM

11. Well, remember early on he suspected that the microwave was spying on him?

At least the portrait has a face...

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Reply #11)

Thu May 21, 2020, 06:44 AM

13. "The eyes follow me... I'm sure of it."

He'd probably hang a towel over it.

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Response to Harker (Reply #13)

Thu May 21, 2020, 07:07 AM

15. Sounds like the plot of a "scary" old 3 Stooges movie

Appropriate, since Trump shares the intellect and sensibilities of the "stooge" characters...

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Reply #15)

Thu May 21, 2020, 07:56 AM

20. Yes. The dumbest stooge with no sense of humor.

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Response to Harker (Reply #20)

Thu May 21, 2020, 08:01 AM

22. And this stooge is currently leader of the free world

If this was a movie plot, people would laugh, but no one would believe it could actually happen.

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Thu May 21, 2020, 06:46 AM

14. He is a genius?

Never!

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Thu May 21, 2020, 07:12 AM

16. Great satire! You know, if this actually happened, it would not surprise me.

Not in the least.

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Response to PatrickforO (Reply #16)

Thu May 21, 2020, 07:36 AM

17. Me, neither. Nothing that he says or does is a surprise anymore

Remember early on when he thought that the microwave was spying on him? At least portraits with moving eyes harks back to old horror movie satires...

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Thu May 21, 2020, 07:42 AM

18. Well, he screwed the pooch with Lincoln, so Abe's gone too

And didn't Nixon talk to some of the portraits during the final days (daze?) of his term?
IT turns out we’ve been reading the wrong Bob Woodward book to understand what’s going on with President Bush. The text we should be consulting instead is “The Final Days,” the Woodward-Bernstein account of Richard Nixon talking to the portraits on the White House walls while Watergate demolished his presidency. As Mr. Bush has ricocheted from Vietnam to Latvia to Jordan in recent weeks, we’ve witnessed the troubling behavior of a president who isn’t merely in a state of denial but is completely untethered from reality. It’s not that he can’t handle the truth about Iraq. He doesn’t know what the truth is.
NY Times, December 3, 2006 emphasis added

Anyone else seeing a pattern here?

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Response to Fritz Walter (Reply #18)

Thu May 21, 2020, 08:04 AM

23. Good reference!

But apparently Nixon was drinking heavily. Trump doesn't have that excuse.

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Reply #23)

Thu May 21, 2020, 12:40 PM

26. Well, he is hitting the Adderall pretty hard and if he really is taking Hydroxycholoroquine,

that can also cause major paranoia.

Adderall side effects
Get emergency medical help if you have signs of an allergic reaction to Adderall: hives; difficult breathing; swelling of your face, lips, tongue, or throat.

Call your doctor at once if you have:

signs of heart problems - chest pain, trouble breathing, feeling like you might pass out;

signs of psychosis - hallucinations (seeing or hearing things that are not real), new behavior problems, aggression, hostility, paranoia;

signs of circulation problems - numbness, pain, cold feeling, unexplained wounds, or skin color changes (pale, red, or blue appearance) in your fingers or toes;

a seizure (convulsions);

muscle twitches (tics); or

changes in your vision.

Hydroxychloroquine Side Effects

Along with its needed effects, a medicine may cause some unwanted effects. Although not all of these side effects may occur, if they do occur they may need medical attention.

Check with your doctor immediately if any of the following side effects occur:

Incidence not known
Blistering, peeling, loosening of the skin
blurred vision or other vision changes
chest discomfort, pain, or tightness
cough or hoarseness
dark urine
decreased urination
defective color vision
diarrhea
difficulty breathing
difficulty seeing at night
dizziness or fainting
fast, pounding, uneven heartbeat
feeling that others are watching you or controlling your behavior
feeling that others can hear your thoughts
feeling, seeing, or hearing things that are not there

fever with or without chills
general feeling of tiredness or weakness
headache
inability to move the eyes
increased blinking or spasms of the eyelid
joint or muscle pain
large, hive-like swelling on the face, eyelids, lips, tongue, throat, hands, legs, feet, and sex organs
loss of hearing
lower back or side pain
noisy breathing
painful or difficult urination
red irritated eyes
red skin lesions, often with a purple center
severe mood or mental changes
sore throat sores, ulcers, or white spots on the lips or in the mouth
sticking out of the tongue
stomach pain
swelling of the feet or lower legs
swollen or painful glands
trouble with breathing, speaking, or swallowing
uncontrolled twisting movements of the neck, trunk, arms, or legs
unusual behavior
unusual bleeding or bruising
unusual facial expressions
unusual tiredness or weakness
yellow eyes or skin
Symptoms of overdose
Drowsiness
dry mouth
increased thirst
loss of appetite
mood changes
no pulse or blood pressure
numbness or tingling in the hands, feet, or lips
unconsciousness

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Response to smirkymonkey (Reply #26)

Thu May 21, 2020, 01:20 PM

28. The third from last side effect......

Here's hoping....

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Response to montana_hazeleyes (Reply #28)

Thu May 21, 2020, 01:21 PM

29. Heh, heh!

I like how you think, montana!

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Thu May 21, 2020, 07:52 AM

19. I love good satire

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Thu May 21, 2020, 07:56 AM

21. Putin warned him.

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Thu May 21, 2020, 12:25 PM

24. Well duh,

there will be a camera hidden in each eye and a microphone in each ear. A lot of people are saying that...

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Thu May 21, 2020, 12:43 PM

27. I *knew* it was BOROWITZ, but clicked hoping it was a real admission!1

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