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Thu Apr 23, 2020, 09:52 PM

Wish me luck

Hey everyone

I have cancer from windmills and the antibiotic isn稚 helping my viral infection and hydrochloroquine put me in cardiac arrest, I知 gonna inject some Lysol tonight. I expect I値l be fully cured by tomorrow. Papa Trump would never lead me astray, right?

Guess my last resort would be laying in a tanning bed and have the UV rays disinfect me for about, what, 2 hours you think? Or do I have to swallow the bulbs so the light is inside the body?

23 replies, 954 views

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Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 23 replies Author Time Post
Reply Wish me luck (Original post)
Roland99 Apr 2020 OP
Harker Apr 2020 #1
Newest Reality Apr 2020 #2
Roland99 Apr 2020 #3
Newest Reality Apr 2020 #10
Roland99 Apr 2020 #12
Newest Reality Apr 2020 #13
Roland99 Apr 2020 #15
cayugafalls Apr 2020 #4
Roland99 Apr 2020 #7
cayugafalls Apr 2020 #9
Roland99 Apr 2020 #11
5X Apr 2020 #5
Skittles Apr 2020 #6
LisaL Apr 2020 #8
Newest Reality Apr 2020 #14
Roland99 Apr 2020 #16
Totally Tunsie Apr 2020 #17
Cha Apr 2020 #18
smirkymonkey Apr 2020 #19
liberaltrucker Apr 2020 #20
Roland99 Apr 2020 #21
BSdetect Apr 2020 #22
Roland99 Apr 2020 #23

Response to Roland99 (Original post)

Thu Apr 23, 2020, 09:57 PM

1. Good luck. n/t

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Response to Roland99 (Original post)

Thu Apr 23, 2020, 09:57 PM

2. Warning...

I tried doing an all nighter in a tanning bed and woke up with a 3rd-degree sunburn. However, I figure that you probably can't get COVID-19 with a sunburn like that, so it might just work. Remember, it has to be all night, though. About eight hours should do it.

Got to go wipe the massive water blisters that keep forming on my peeling skin off now. I will keep you posted.

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Response to Newest Reality (Reply #2)

Thu Apr 23, 2020, 10:01 PM

3. Should I cover in Vaseline first?

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Response to Roland99 (Reply #3)

Thu Apr 23, 2020, 10:26 PM

10. It might work.

You might need straps to hold you down so you don't slide out of the tanning bed. I hear that happens a lot.

The Vaseline should double the COVID-19 protection, so do give it a try. I am going to go shove some in my ears to keep them from getting the virus.

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Response to Newest Reality (Reply #10)

Thu Apr 23, 2020, 10:28 PM

12. I pre-scrubbed with 100 grit sandpaper. Vaseline should really soak in

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Response to Roland99 (Reply #12)

Thu Apr 23, 2020, 10:46 PM

13. Brilliant idea!

That sounds like a scientifical idea. You bet! I am going to write that down so I don't forget it the next time, after my sunburn heals.

I hope this vital information makes it to the nightly briefings.

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Response to Newest Reality (Reply #13)

Thu Apr 23, 2020, 11:02 PM

15. I'm calling Rubio and Scott offices tomorrow

I知 sure they値l pass on this crucial info

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Response to Roland99 (Original post)

Thu Apr 23, 2020, 10:05 PM

4. Sun Lamp, plugged in and turned on, rectally inserted, mild discomfort to be expected.

I sent the same technique to Dr. Birx and she told me she would try it on the Orange Shitgibbon...

I've got my hopes up.

Good luck

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Response to cayugafalls (Reply #4)

Thu Apr 23, 2020, 10:14 PM

7. Before or after the Lysol suppository?

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Response to Roland99 (Reply #7)

Thu Apr 23, 2020, 10:17 PM

9. After. You want the UV to activate the Lysol.

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Response to cayugafalls (Reply #9)

Thu Apr 23, 2020, 10:27 PM

11. Excellent. Many thanks!

I値l avoid Taco Bell

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Response to Roland99 (Original post)

Thu Apr 23, 2020, 10:07 PM

5. UV flashlight suppository.

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Response to Roland99 (Original post)

Thu Apr 23, 2020, 10:08 PM

6. OMG STOP IT Roland99

YER KILLING ME

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Response to Roland99 (Original post)

Thu Apr 23, 2020, 10:15 PM

8. Thankfully, you can't find lysol anywhere.

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Response to Roland99 (Original post)

Thu Apr 23, 2020, 10:59 PM

14. This just in...

I have some more medicalistic scientificalism that really, really works.

You know those little cocktail wieners? You can stuff one up each nostril and the virus can't get in at all. Isn't that amazing? You just change them out ever day. Wiener skins and juice are santizationary.

Now, you may say, but I have to breath from my mouth then. Well, I've got you covered. You simply put a dryer sheet in your mouth the fibers and fabric softener in them are known anti-virasal agentsians. So, you breath through them and viruses just die. I have even managed to talk well with one in my mouth after a little practice. Again, change daily.

Hurry up and get some before the stores run out.

Tell everyone about this.

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Response to Newest Reality (Reply #14)

Thu Apr 23, 2020, 11:03 PM

16. Oh! Think I can use bleach in my NetiPot??

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Response to Newest Reality (Reply #14)

Fri Apr 24, 2020, 12:51 AM

17. I hear sanitary pads work well too, especially the ones with wings!

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Response to Roland99 (Original post)

Fri Apr 24, 2020, 12:53 AM

18. You scared me

at first!

Be sure and don't wear anything on your eyes!

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Response to Roland99 (Original post)

Fri Apr 24, 2020, 01:08 AM

19. Just be sure to remove the lightbulb and unplug it from it's source before getting into the

bathtub. The smoke and fire could ignite the disinfectants inside your body and, well, it wouldn't be a pleasant way to go.

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Response to Roland99 (Original post)

Fri Apr 24, 2020, 01:57 AM

20. Good luck



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Response to liberaltrucker (Reply #20)

Fri Apr 24, 2020, 11:19 AM

21. Hahahaha

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Response to Roland99 (Original post)

Fri Apr 24, 2020, 11:30 AM

22. What about some laser beams direct into the eyeballs? A surefire treatment.

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Response to BSdetect (Reply #22)

Fri Apr 24, 2020, 11:57 AM

23. Mounted on sharks??

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