HomeLatest ThreadsGreatest ThreadsForums & GroupsMy SubscriptionsMy Posts
DU Home » Latest Threads » Forums & Groups » Main » General Discussion (Forum) » National Archives Report ...

Tue Apr 14, 2020, 08:04 PM

National Archives Report Someone Tried to Scrawl "Total Authority" with Sharpie on U.S. Constitution

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—An unknown person attempted to scrawl the words “total authority” on the United States Constitution with a Sharpie, the National Archives reported on Tuesday.

A security guard spotted the attempted vandalism on Tuesday morning, when he noticed “something weird” on the glass case protecting the priceless historical document.

“Someone had written the words in big block letters,” the security guard said. “Plus, both ‘total’ and ‘authority’ were misspelled.”

“It looked like the work of a small child, but there are no school groups here because of the coronavirus and whatnot,” he added. “So it’s a real mystery.”

Harland Dorrinson, a spokesperson for the National Archives, said that, even though the Constitution was unharmed, the Archives are launching a “full investigation” to determine what “sick person” attempted to deface the document.

“Somewhere in Washington, there’s a person on the loose who hates the way the Constitution is actually written,” he said.

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/national-archives-report-someone-tried-to-scrawl-total-authority-with-sharpie-on-us-constitution

6 replies, 886 views

Reply to this thread

Back to top Alert abuse

Always highlight: 10 newest replies | Replies posted after I mark a forum
Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 6 replies Author Time Post
Reply National Archives Report Someone Tried to Scrawl "Total Authority" with Sharpie on U.S. Constitution (Original post)
Zorro Apr 2020 OP
dewsgirl Apr 2020 #1
Rorey Apr 2020 #2
bdamomma Apr 2020 #3
stillcool Apr 2020 #4
niyad Apr 2020 #5
crickets Apr 2020 #6

Response to Zorro (Original post)

Tue Apr 14, 2020, 08:06 PM

1. K and R

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Zorro (Original post)

Tue Apr 14, 2020, 08:09 PM

2. It was a Sharpie like no one has ever seen before.

It was a tremendous Sharpie.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Zorro (Original post)

Tue Apr 14, 2020, 08:11 PM

3. that

cult and the cult leader need to go.


oops got me.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Zorro (Original post)

Tue Apr 14, 2020, 08:13 PM

4. I blew past the Borrowitz Report...

and got to the small child before I thought to check the author.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Zorro (Original post)

Tue Apr 14, 2020, 09:02 PM

5. Smiling KNR

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Zorro (Original post)

Tue Apr 14, 2020, 09:42 PM

6. Borowitz is on point. nt

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Reply to this thread