September 11th means too much to me personally to talk about it during election season

[jsmirman]

does anyone else feel this way?

If you can forgive me, I'm sitting all these threads out. I want to argue about who was to blame, and what we didn't know, and everything else at a less politically-charged time.

I lost people and I can't handle a lot of these threads. I'm not telling anyone what to do, or even criticizing people's desire to have these discussions. We all have our own feelings about that day.

But count me out. I just can't take it. I'm so focused on the election that I'm ashamed of how I'm going to relate to September 11th this year. I can't give it the proper focus that it so truly deserves.

I guess it's so personal that I get uncomfortable seeing the words pop up over and over again wherever I look.

I stop what I'm doing every day at 9:11 am or 9:11 pm, and just sit for a minute. Every day. Because I feel guilty or compelled to remember or like it's not okay to just get on with my day when the clock hits that time.

Seeing it over and over and over again is tough for me, it seems.

I didn't mean to make anyone feel bad here, and if I did, I apologize. I just feel like I'm getting sadness overload, and I can't even process it properly because it's election season.

[lunatica]

1. ((((((((((jsmirman))))))))))) n/t

[OneGrassRoot]

2. ...

[HappyMe]

3. I don't have any words...

[Corgigal]

4. I'm from Westchester County

while I was lucky not to lose anyone, I do my best to forget all about this day if i can. It still hurts and I understand why it must hurt you even more. Do whatever you need to do today. You're not alone.

[gkhouston]

5. +1. I thought I was going to bite someone on the first anniversary of 9/11.

People going around, passing out flag pins to "remember" 9/11. I didn't need a goddamned pin to remember anything.

[jsmirman]

7. I know just what you mean

it's weird that the numbers on the clock always hit me, because I don't even like the term "9/11."

It was September 11th. It was 2001.

It's not a fucking convenience store, it was a national tragedy. And a gaping, ripped wound to my city that will never and should never heal.

[Victor_c3]

10. I hate the term 911 too

like you, I call it September 11th. I thought I was the only person who picked up on that.

I get how you feel. I'm kind of touchy today too, but I'm not going to get into that one.

[jsmirman]

14. It helps to know that I'm not the only one who feels like that

thanks for posting that.

[JSK]

8. The "Never Forget" posts and memes are all over Facebook

As if anyone would ever forget. Please.

[jsmirman]

6. Thank you all for the hugs

Thank you so much.

I've been sleeping as I was up all night working and then had nervous energy.

I was hesitant to post this, but am glad I did.

On another September 11th, I could share so many vivid and sorrowful - although some uplifting - but mostly sad and twisted and metal-tinged and bitter memories. But not this one.

[a la izquierda]

9. I didn't lose anyone, but I cringe annually on this day.

I grew up a few miles- as the crow flies- across the bay from lower Manhattan. I will never picture the Skyline empty. The religification (I know it's not a word) of this day is just weird to me. It's like horror porn. I can't stand it.

But September 11 is also different to me. It's the day our CIA helped overthrow democratically elected Salvador Allende in Chile.

[jsmirman]

17. Both are horrible

but yes, there are so many things about this that I find difficult, and New York's two front teeth missing, it's tough.

[mnhtnbb]

11. I have a friend whose birthday is today--9/11. Can you imagine?

I'm sorry this is so painful for you. Remembering horror--reliving it--of course it's tough.


Hugs to you.

[jsmirman]

16. I can imagine

horrible.

I may explain why later in a PM.

Many thanks for the hugs.

[adigal]

12. My husband was a NYC firefighter, working that day

He did not get sent down until that night. A miracle. But the Engine from his house did, and all the houses around him, and the losses were staggering. Just staggering. He got very sick from the clean-up and was retired.

To be honest, I am sick of all the memorials, etc. I think it is time to put it away. Since being used to start a war with Iraq, it has been politicized in terrible ways, and I hate it. I also hate the new tower down there, that they built on the dust of the dead. We suck as a nation, we really do.

I'm really tired of it all, and am glad I don't have a TV at home.

[jsmirman]

15. It's so complicated

and more complicated for you than for me. And it's very complicated for me.

I can't tell you how much I hate that we're *still* singing God Bless America at Yankee Stadium every seventh inning, and I'm an ardent patriot (it also bothers me that we have to listen to Kate Smith, who is a Philadelphia icon, not a New York one, and that it's too short a version anyway, and argh, complicated).

I'll tell you that as a New Yorker, I am extra touchy about how I feel we are used for whatever purpose is convenient for others looking to make hay out of this day.

[adigal]

18. Yes, I agree with it all

I haven't watched baseball in a while, and last year I caught a game, and told my husband I was surprised they are still doing that 7th inning stretch singing. Just seems silly.

[jsmirman]

19. It's maddening

as the smallest and most useless protest ever, I always change the channel or turn off the tv for that stretch and turn it back on or back to the channel when it's back at commercials.

That little act means nothing to anyone but me, but it's my one man protest!

[adigal]

20. I am with you - no watching the coverage for me

I lived it for a year, enough. Be well.

[jsmirman]

21. Thank you, you too

I find myself glad that this day is wearing on toward its close.

[Raine1967]

13. Peace be with you.

I mean that sincerely. I completely understand.

[jsmirman]

22. Thank you, Raine

looking forward to tomorrow.