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Sun Mar 8, 2020, 02:58 PM

Grab a Tissue

My mom‘s example taught me how not to fear death. The following is her story. It still brings tears of joy 15 years later

I wrote the following before the magic & mysteries of her passing faded into more vague memory.

I share this with a heart full of hope this true story helps to ease others as we face this new, threatening virus outbreak.

Namaste
✨✨🙏✨✨


MY MOM'S GREATEST GIFT

We knew Mom had ovarian cancer
metastasized throughout.

She was 84 and still sharp as a tack.
She was blessed with no suffering.
A miracle, of sorts.

Mom only took one pain pill during the 4 months she was quietly ill.

She never complained, not even once.
No tears, no fear, peaceful and thankful
for all I would do.

A total joy to care for.

How fortunate I was to have a whole year with her. We lived 2,500 miles away until my other sibling passed away 5 months prior to mom’s diagnosis. I took her to my home after his funeral.

We healed all the Mommy/Daughter stuff.

They don't make many women like Mom anymore: stalwart, dignified, and happy to endure.

Here's what happened 2 days before her peaceful passing in my home:

We were with her, my daughter, grandkids, and I, preparing her for bed when she looked up to the ceiling and said

"Why is there a hole in my ceiling, and who are all these people coming through."

That was Wednesday.

The next day, Thursday eve, I was prompted to ask her what her dream meal would be. I then ran to the store, bought the fish and prepared her desired dish.

My friend brought over a bunch of movies for a dinner/movie treat.

A girls night, cozy and carefree.

My mom picked Gone With the Wind.

She sat up, as cheery as could be, ate all her dinner and finished the movie at 11:00PM.

She looked like the picture of health.

I was prompted to kneel at her feet as we shared a red wine treat.

I toasted her and thanked her for being a great mom, and chirped memories of her efforts I adored like her famous spaghetti and lobster sauce prepared as my chosen meal on my birthdays, and the clothes she would lovingly sew, to name but a few.

We laughed, loved, and reminisced. I made sure she knew in my heart she would always abide.

And as I prepared her for bed, I sat her before me and was prompted to say:

"Mom, you don't have to worry about me,
I'll be fine when you are gone."

For the first time in my life, I watched my staunch, German mom weep as she blurted so very clearly:

"But I do worry about you. You will be all alone."

I said "No mom, I have a lovely daughter, too” prompting two tear soaked grins.

I held my mom, as if she were a child, and gave her permission to reunite with her son and my dad, and, yes, we both felt very sad as we sat there and quietly cried.

Neither of us knew that tomorrow she would die.

Just writing this makes my eyes cry.

The next morning when I went in to help her dress for breakfast, there was mom, with the biggest, childlike smile I had ever seen from her.

She was glowing, her skin as pink and beautiful as a newborn, except for the wrinkles.

But she couldn't talk. I asked her to squeeze my hand once for Yes, and Twice for no, but no response.

She just kept looking around the room smiling and glowing, as if the room was filled with familiar people.

There is no word to describe the elation she was obviously feeling.

I swear this to be true!

I called the Hospice Center And the nurse came over.

By the time she arrived, Mom seemed to have left although she laid there for another 18 hours peacefully before passing rasping with each breath.

And, of course, she waited for me to take a quick 5AM nap to take her leave.

Kind to the end, she spared my feelings. She was a very private person.

I awoke, and she was gone.

My daughter, who had been with us all day, called within minutes from her nearby home.

She said "Mom, is Grammy gone?

I said "Yes" within the last half hour.

And then she shared what happened in her sleep.

She dreamed that her Grammy visited.
She awoke, and felt her hand being held
And her snuggling little boy sat up and said "Grammy is here."

Children, so dear, can see.

Nothing can convince my daughter and 4 year old grandson that their Grammy didn't drop in to say Good Bye.

The look of sheer joy on mom's face that morning, and the events just prior left me believing with no reservations that there is more when we pass than a loud slamming door.

And as much as I enjoy life, both the joy and the strife, what Mom taught me that day gives me hope.

That one day, when my spirit is called home, I hope that there will be a hole in my ceiling and my mom will drop in to guide me to the other side.

Mom converted my Faith into Knowledge.

I share this because these true events
improved my enjoyment of life.

I pray they give another solace and hope, too.

And, if what Mom taught me is true, there is more than a chance that we will all be reunited in a better place.

There, I look forward to seeing or meeting you, too!

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Arrow 58 replies Author Time Post
Reply Grab a Tissue (Original post)
OhNo-Really Mar 2020 OP
Under The Radar Mar 2020 #1
OhNo-Really Mar 2020 #5
malaise Mar 2020 #2
OhNo-Really Mar 2020 #8
woodsprite Mar 2020 #3
OhNo-Really Mar 2020 #6
CTyankee Mar 2020 #4
OhNo-Really Mar 2020 #7
Skittles Mar 2020 #9
OhNo-Really Mar 2020 #11
spanone Mar 2020 #10
OhNo-Really Mar 2020 #17
spanone Mar 2020 #20
lillypaddle Mar 2020 #12
OhNo-Really Mar 2020 #14
Dem2theMax Mar 2020 #13
OhNo-Really Mar 2020 #16
MFM008 Mar 2020 #15
OhNo-Really Mar 2020 #19
demigoddess Mar 2020 #18
OhNo-Really Mar 2020 #23
demigoddess Mar 2020 #57
OhNo-Really Mar 2020 #58
RazBerryBeret Mar 2020 #21
OhNo-Really Mar 2020 #30
cry baby Mar 2020 #22
Dem2theMax Mar 2020 #24
cry baby Mar 2020 #33
Dem2theMax Mar 2020 #49
cry baby Mar 2020 #51
nini Mar 2020 #29
cry baby Mar 2020 #32
nini Mar 2020 #42
OhNo-Really Mar 2020 #34
cry baby Mar 2020 #35
OhNo-Really Mar 2020 #43
cry baby Mar 2020 #44
OhNo-Really Mar 2020 #45
cry baby Mar 2020 #46
OhNo-Really Mar 2020 #47
Dem2theMax Mar 2020 #52
FakeNoose Mar 2020 #25
OhNo-Really Mar 2020 #36
mcar Mar 2020 #26
OhNo-Really Mar 2020 #37
Squinch Mar 2020 #27
OhNo-Really Mar 2020 #48
nini Mar 2020 #28
OhNo-Really Mar 2020 #41
wnylib Mar 2020 #31
OhNo-Really Mar 2020 #39
wnylib Mar 2020 #50
MLAA Mar 2020 #38
OhNo-Really Mar 2020 #40
lunatica Mar 2020 #53
StarryNite Mar 2020 #54
BComplex Mar 2020 #55
OhNo-Really Mar 2020 #56

Response to OhNo-Really (Original post)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 03:19 PM

1. You were fortunate to have that time together.

I too spent the last two weeks of my fathers life with him in hospice. Forgiving each other for past misunderstandings, learning new stories that we didn’t have time for previously, and then to the in and out of consciousness and talking to others in his sleep and me asking him to take messages with him.
Probably the the greatest time of my life with him, which only makes me wish there was an open line of communication afterwards.
I never found out about the spiritual place but I am certain that there is a spiritual connection bound by love that exceeds our life here.

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Response to Under The Radar (Reply #1)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 04:13 PM

5. Yes, an eternal bond. Well said.

I cherish the rare dreams of being together.

Happy you had that special time with your dad

✨✨❤️✨✨

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Response to OhNo-Really (Original post)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 03:33 PM

2. Sad but beautiful

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Response to malaise (Reply #2)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 04:23 PM

8. Yes, group cyber hug. Great emoji

✨✨❤️✨✨

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Response to OhNo-Really (Original post)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 03:38 PM

3. ONR, I believe as you. Your story touched my heart

and was much the same as mine with my Mother. She saw her brother in her room with her the night before she died. She kept asking me if I saw Uncle Harry. When I left her that evening, I told her that I couldn't see him, but it didn't mean he wasn't there. I told her to have a nice visit with him and I would be back first thing in the morning. Told her I loved her. My brother and I had both had our private moments with Mom earlier that evening talking about how we would be fine when she joined Dad, and that I would watch out for my brother (who didn't handle money well and was getting over a rough divorce). After our private times with Mom, we all three sat there and reminisced. Mom was laughing, happy, relieved - we had together made the decision to remove all tubes, IVs, monitors, etc. She was dying fro DIC (Disseminated Intravascular Coagulation of unknown origin). My brother said his goodbyes and left for work so he didn't witness the visit from Uncle Harry. The hospital was going to send her home with Hospice care the following Monday, if she made it that long.

I was with her when she passed. Same thing, I went in early and she kept looking to the side of her bed and upward, she was smiling and had a sparkle in her eyes I hadn't seen for awhile. Odd, because she was legally blind but could see shadows and shapes. No colors. She couldn't talk. I put my head next to hers and told her we would all be fine, she had waited 11 years to be with Dad again. Within 5 min. of that, she took her last breath. I was holding her hand, and my body felt like someone gave me a hug and felt wrapped in love. It was almost a euphoric feeling that lasted several hours, like I had just sent Mom on a trip that she was really excited about.

I'm glad you were able to share that time with your mother.

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Response to woodsprite (Reply #3)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 04:21 PM

6. Thank you. I hope these experiences help others

Just before I dozed for half an hour, I told my mom she could take her time, I would stay beside her as long as needed.

I think you may agree, the love and caring we provide to our aging parents is a small price to pay for the gifts we received.

✨✨❤️✨✨

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Response to OhNo-Really (Original post)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 03:39 PM

4. My mother passed that way, too, after seeing celestial lights and everything looking so

beautiful.

When she was gone, she was gone. Once her spirit had passed, her body was empty of any kind of "being there."

I knew then she was in a better place.

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Response to CTyankee (Reply #4)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 04:22 PM

7. Definitely a better place. What a great gift

She gave to you and your family

Thank you for sharing.

✨✨❤️✨✨

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Response to OhNo-Really (Original post)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 04:48 PM

9. ...



My mum passed from ovarian cancer too, and never even took a Tylenol.

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Response to Skittles (Reply #9)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 04:58 PM

11. I'm so sorry. Amazing about no pain

Oddly, the year before mine was in ICU for a week and in and out of hospital/rehab for a month following. Car accident, neck injury

No one noticed her lower organs were literally full of cancer.

One of our health care problems. We don’t get total body care. Just treating pinpoint symptoms

✨😭😭✨❤️✨

Yes, still tear up. We will meet them again

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Response to OhNo-Really (Original post)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 04:58 PM

10. ❤️K&R❤️

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Response to spanone (Reply #10)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 06:04 PM

17. Thank you ✨💕✨

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Response to OhNo-Really (Reply #17)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 06:07 PM

20. ☮️🥰

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Response to OhNo-Really (Original post)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 05:14 PM

12. Damn, you are gifted beyond belief

not only with the gift of words, but the gift of heart. What a lovely and soul filled post. Thank you.

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Response to lillypaddle (Reply #12)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 05:55 PM

14. You're welcome & ☺️ thank you ☺️

Many times, when the missing clouds appear, I read this. The memories are soothing, the missing clouds slowly dissolve and gratitude shines forth again. Gratitude is my North Star.

✨✨❤️✨✨

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Response to OhNo-Really (Original post)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 05:53 PM

13. You brought back good memories of my parents deaths.

It's incredible that we can say that. Good memories from a death. But it's true. I won't go into the specifics of my experiences, but they were very close to yours.

I was left with a lot of peace. That's the greatest gift I could have been given by my mom and dad.

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Response to Dem2theMax (Reply #13)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 06:04 PM

16. Yes, the greatest gift 💝 Peace

Thank you ✨✨🙏✨✨

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Response to OhNo-Really (Original post)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 05:56 PM

15. Your right

😭😢💔

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Response to MFM008 (Reply #15)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 06:05 PM

19. ✨✨😊✨✨

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Response to OhNo-Really (Original post)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 06:05 PM

18. I have had visits from my father and my stepfather and 3 cats.

I know what happened to you. Your mother must have been an angel on earth for such a passing as she had. She is probably in heaven sitting with Jesus and giving him a thrill or a laugh! That's my opinion, no one has to agree.

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Response to demigoddess (Reply #18)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 06:20 PM

23. She was an Angel 👼

And a life-long compassionate social worker.

We share beliefs. I pray they are delegated worthwhile jobs to do as well.

Happy you have visits. How wonderful! I miss my pets and dream of running through flower-sprinkled tall grassy hills together.

✨✨💕✨✨

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Response to OhNo-Really (Reply #23)

Mon Mar 9, 2020, 06:27 PM

57. one cat kept my leg warm each morning just like he did while alive. Then his buddy

showed up and they went off together. My stepfather , Dad, visited me the day after an operation and I was walking the hall and almost fell, felt a solidness next to me and he said, "Looks like you got a hitch in your get along.' I knew it was him.

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Response to demigoddess (Reply #57)

Mon Mar 9, 2020, 08:38 PM

58. Colloquiums. That is an adorable story.

They are always as close as we need them to be. Comforting

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Response to OhNo-Really (Original post)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 06:11 PM

21. such a beautiful story...

I heeded the tissue warning, thank you. My dad passed away from liver cancer, my last words to him were that we would take care of mom...

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Response to RazBerryBeret (Reply #21)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 07:04 PM

30. You comforted your dad

My condolences. I wish I had recorded moms stories

✨✨❤️✨✨

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Response to OhNo-Really (Original post)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 06:17 PM

22. Beautiful story. I believe that my mom is transitioning as we speak.

She’s home with me, in hospice care. She’s seeing friends, glowing groups of pearls floating, small cute furry animals. Other signs of transition are there. We’re talking about who and what she’s seeing. She laughs sometimes. She and I can have moments like you had, I hope.
This is the DU member formerly known as cry baby.

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Response to cry baby (Reply #22)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 06:26 PM

24. I just felt the need to give you a hug.



I have to say that when my parents transitioned, it was the most sacred experience I have ever had in my life. Nothing has come close. I was with both of them, holding their hands as they crossed over. They went five months apart. Dad couldn't stand being without Mom.

I am glad you are able to be with your mom. I know you will cherish every moment.

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Response to Dem2theMax (Reply #24)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 07:13 PM

33. Thank you for the hug! I'm so isolated in my caregiving.

Hugs are the stuff of joy for me lately.

I’m trying to be mindful but I’m just not successful all the time.

I’m sorry that you lost both parents so close in time. Must have been a tough year. It’s nice to know you remember the experience in a good light. It’s a good lesson for me.
This is the DU member formerly known as cry baby.

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Response to cry baby (Reply #33)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 09:55 PM

49. P.M. me anytime. Having been through it,

and also having been able to put eight years between me and their deaths, it's much easier for me to think about it and talk about it now.

No one should have to go through what you're going through alone. I'm very serious, PM me and I'd be happy to help in whatever way I can. If you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to lean on, I'm here.

And I'll be honest, when I was going through it, it was really rough. It has taken years to realize all of the blessings that came from going through that with my parents. Some blessings I could see immediately, other things I'm still learning to this day. I think it will be a lifelong lesson in being a human being.

And you have to do the hardest part of all. You have to take care of you while you are taking care of your mom.
You only have to do this one day at a time. Sometimes you might want to take that down to one hour at a time or one minute at a time. Do whatever works best for you.

I allowed myself a 5-minute pity party everyday. I would go in the bathroom and turn on the shower and the fan so that no one could hear me, and I would sit on the floor and cry. And then I would get up and wipe my face off and tell myself that's all I had time for, and out the door I would go, wondering how I was going to get through the day. And at the end of the day I would end up in that bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror, and telling myself that I did it, I got through another day

And you will too. Please reach out if you want to or need to. There's lots of hugs here.

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Response to Dem2theMax (Reply #49)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 11:14 PM

51. I appreciate that offer. It is a lonely road to travel.

I find, most of the time, that I can’t cry. I feel like I need to, but can’t. I haven’t figured that one out yet.

I do understand the feeling wondering if I’ll make it through the day. Like you, I mark the end of the day grateful to have made it.

She’s finally sleeping restfully. It was a difficult day.

I’ll reach out if I get overwhelmed. Thanks for your encouraging words.
This is the DU member formerly known as cry baby.

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Response to cry baby (Reply #22)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 06:50 PM

29. It's such a privilege to be part of their journey

As hard as it is, it is amazing to see the peace and joy they have at the end.

Peace to you and Godspeed to your mom

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Response to nini (Reply #29)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 07:09 PM

32. Thank you. It's very hard to appreciate the experience at this moment

but I know looking back, I won’t remember the knot in my stomach and stress in trying to hear and understand everything she says. I know for sure that it was an experience of a lifetime.

Thankfully, she is sleeping quietly right now...and I had a glass of wine!
This is the DU member formerly known as cry baby.

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Response to cry baby (Reply #32)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 07:59 PM

42. it's so hard because we know what is coming

But you are right. You will look back and smile at being able to experience even just a bit of her passage with her.

My mom even thought she had already died at one point and she was telling us what to do funeral wise etc LOL.. She wanted to see the program we put together and who came to the wake She was making sure certain people came - they all did when the time actually came.

Enjoy the wine and take care of yourself as much as you can.

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Response to cry baby (Reply #22)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 07:20 PM

34. ✨✨Hugs✨✨

Your mom’s gift can be life changing in good ways; however, this is a difficult time emotionally especially for care givers.

The best advice given to me by her life-long friend was “take time to mourn”. She was right. I was pumped with caregiver adrenaline, funeral planning & carrying the hearts of mom’s grand & great grandchildren. Those 4 words snapped me out of “doing/denial” mode. I took her advice.

I’m thankful I wrote about her journey a few days after her passing.

My heart is with you. I hope the comments shared help.
✨✨🙏✨✨

Ps. Just noticed you mentioned being isolated. Do you that Medicare pays 100% for in home hospice care? DM me k?

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Response to OhNo-Really (Reply #34)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 07:28 PM

35. Oh yes, helped tremendously! I'm going to have to watch that being

a “doer/denier”. That’s me all over. The tornado in Nashville a few days ago came within blocks of us. I got her up, moved O2 tanks, etc into the bathroom in record time. She said that I’m the most efficient person she’s ever known. I’m good at efficient. I hope I will be better at mindfulness now in her last days and thereafter.

Hugs to you for sharing your thoughts just at the time I needed to read them.
This is the DU member formerly known as cry baby.

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Response to cry baby (Reply #35)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 08:05 PM

43. The tornado! Omgosh how terrifying

Well we efficients also have a tendency to crash deeply as well, especially if isolated.

I’m not always on DU but please reach out anytime you feel sad or overwhelmed.

Pinky promise?

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Response to OhNo-Really (Reply #43)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 08:24 PM

44. Pinky promise! Thank you 💗

This is the DU member formerly known as cry baby.

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Response to cry baby (Reply #44)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 08:41 PM

45. You're not alone. ✨☺️✨

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Response to OhNo-Really (Reply #45)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 08:56 PM

46. Ok, just one more notable thing....

Mom thinks she’s at Mitt Romney’s house. She has no idea why she’s at Mitt’s house, but she’s been lecturing him about his being a republican and associating with trump!

My mom.....dedicated lifelong Democrat!!

Humor gets us through sometimes.
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Response to cry baby (Reply #46)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 09:36 PM

47. Oh dear. Yes humor sure does help.

Sweet dreams. ✨✨☺️✨✨

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Response to cry baby (Reply #46)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 11:54 PM

52. Hold on to the funny moments. Even if you have to write them down.

Those are the things that are going to get you through the hard times later on. When you can look back and remember the funny stuff that happened in the worst of times, you will actually be able to laugh at them through your tears, and that laughter will get you through. I promise!

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Response to OhNo-Really (Original post)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 06:27 PM

25. Thanks for this wonderful story, and I do believe it happened

I have seen too much in my life to NOT believe in the afterlife - the next phase - the higher plane - our real home. I know we'll all meet again in a better place, and we'll get this figured out eventually.

You have such wonderful memories of your mother, and she had a great faith that she passed on to you. May it give you solace, knowing that you'll be seeing her and the rest of your family when it's your time. Many of us do not ascribe to a particular set of religious rules (I was raised a Catholic) however the belief in the hereafter is almost a universal human need.

I've found comfort reading the books of Sylvia Browne and Ruth Montgomery over the years.


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Response to FakeNoose (Reply #25)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 07:36 PM

36. Thank you so much

I have no doubts. Being 71 & a half 😂 this virus news reminded me I’m 71 & a half and on the list of vulnerable.

All my stuff is in order. Self-isolated lots of storage.

Be safe.

Namaste 🙏

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Response to OhNo-Really (Original post)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 06:30 PM

26. So beautiful! Yes, I'm in tears

.

My mother died of ovarian cancer in 1989 at age 62. It wasn't an easy passing , though my siblings and I, one of her sisters and her SIL, along with hospice, cared for her at home. She never acknowledged that she was dying. My father had died 2 years earlier of colorectal cancer. She never had the chance to really get over that.

My sincere condolences on your loss. She sounds like she was a wonderful woman. She deserved a good passing.

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Response to mcar (Reply #26)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 07:41 PM

37. I'm sorry for your losses

No, she didn’t have time to overcome that loss. My dad had been gone for 10 years

Funny story. When I quietly told my mom she was late stage cancer she instantly retorted

“Well! It’s about time I got something!”

She had barely survived a T-boned by an RV auto accident the year before. My mom was a hoot.

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Response to OhNo-Really (Original post)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 06:36 PM

27. That is just beautiful. Thank you.

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Response to Squinch (Reply #27)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 09:38 PM

48. Happy to share.

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Response to OhNo-Really (Original post)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 06:48 PM

28. Both of my parents did similar things

My mom took 2 months after her initial seeing her deceased siblings. We knew she was on the tailend when she said that. We got to say our goodbyes and watch the fascinating interactions she had with the other side. The pure joy you described was the same with my mom. Because it took so long for her to go she was getting impatient. At one point she asked me to go with her to get those people in line out of the way LOL Both of my parents died peacefully with their 3 girls with them. My mom died exactly the way she wanted to.

Thank you for this post.. It brought back sad but very powerful memories. We are so lucky to have taken that journey with them.

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Response to nini (Reply #28)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 07:50 PM

41. Thank you 🙏

Our mom’s shared a similar sense of humor.

I agree we were lucky to have these heartfelt experiences

Thank you for sharing your experience

✨✨💕✨✨

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Response to OhNo-Really (Original post)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 07:06 PM

31. Thank you for sharing this

with us. I recognized so many parts of what you described from my own experience when my mother died 8 years ago at age 90 (ovarian cancer) , and when my nephew died 52 years ago at age 2 (incurable childhood cancer).

When I was with my mother in the hospital, she told me she was hallucinating because she saw and heard things that no one else did. Mentally, she was sharp and alert. But she said the room was filled with people. Having heard of this kind of experience about people near death, I asked who they were. She said she could not see them clearly enough to identify them, but she "just knew" they were waiting for her.

She also reported hearing the most beautiful music, beyond anything she had ever heard or anything anyone could imagine. She loved music, had a beautiful, strong soprano voice, and, although not a professionally trained singer, she often sang for weddings and benefits. Her father had been a professional musician in Sousa's band.

Her doctors suggested medical explanations that the hallucinations were caused by mental and physical deterioration. But, she was mentally lucid and rational when reporting them, completely aware of where she was and who was physically in the room visiting at the time. She knew that she was the only one seeing and hearing these things.

When my nephew died at age 2, and 4 months sooner than the doctors had projected, my sister was staying with my brother and his wife to help with their 3 year old while they took care of the 2 year old. She slept on a cot in the kids' room.

She later (after the funeral) reported to us what happened on the night that the younger one died. He was in the hospital at the time for overnight care, which was part of a regular routine and was expected to go home in the morning. My sister said the whole household was awake around 4 am. She could hear my brother and sister-in-law talking down the hall. The 3 year old told my sister that his little brother was there to say good-bye. She thought he was confusing a dream and the frequent hospital stays with reality. She said his brother would be home again in the morning, like before. But he told her, "No, he says he can't come home any more." She decided to drop it rather than try ro reason with a 3 year old in the middle of the night.

Witin 5 minutes, they got the call from the hospital.

There is no rational explanation for it. I am sure my sister reported it accurately because she was explaining to us why the 3 year old was telling people that his brother visited him to say good-bye. It was unnerving to hear him say this with innocent confidence.

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Response to wnylib (Reply #31)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 07:47 PM

39. Amazing experiences. Thank you 🙏

I have no doubt at all that the brothers were given an opportunity to say “good bye for now”. Their strong bond will draw them together again in time.

If I hadn’t witnessed my mom’s transition, I might have had doubts.

Your mother’s story is beautiful.
I believe her and you

✨✨❤️✨✨

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Response to OhNo-Really (Reply #39)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 10:32 PM

50. If you had not witnessed your

mother's transition, you might have had doubts.

There's the problem with sharing such experiences. Someone who has been through it recognizes what you're saying. But people who haven't simply cannot believe it. At best, they think you're a bit gullible, naive, or misinterpreting facts to fit a belief system. At worst, they just write you off as a nut case.

All I know is what I witnessed at the end of my mother's life and how my nephew acted when his brother died. I draw my own conclusions and let others draw theirs. It appears to me that there is something beyond us.

The older nephew is grown now, with grown children of his own - 3 daughters and one son. He gave his son the middle name of the brother he lost so many years earlier. He has another brother who was born a couple years after his first brother died. He doesn't talk about it, or at least I have not heard him do it. But when he was a kid, he got obsessed with magic tricks and shows for a few years. I think he was trying to convince himself that his mind played tricks on him that night, or that he remembered it wrong.

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Response to OhNo-Really (Original post)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 07:44 PM

38. Thank you for sharing your and your mother's story of joy and peace.

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Response to MLAA (Reply #38)

Sun Mar 8, 2020, 07:47 PM

40. Happy to do so. Thank you ✨❤️✨

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Response to OhNo-Really (Original post)

Mon Mar 9, 2020, 12:04 AM

53. I believe your story

A nurse once told me that people see family and friends who have passed on shortly before they die. And when my mother was in palliative care the nurses told me this happens.

My mother had a near death experience decades earlier so she had no fear of death.

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Response to OhNo-Really (Original post)

Mon Mar 9, 2020, 12:38 AM

54. Thank you for sharing.

I believe.

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Response to OhNo-Really (Original post)

Mon Mar 9, 2020, 05:14 AM

55. Oh my. Best post I've ever read on DU.

Thank you so much for sharing this. After so many of my friends and family and I turned 60, for some reason, we start thinking about the end of our lives being nearer to us than the beginning of our lives, and so we think about the transition in real terms.

I had a close friend years ago who was pronounced dead for quite a while, and she came back to life. She told stories the same as if Elizabeth Kubler Ross had written them down for her.

Awesome post. Awesome mom!

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Response to BComplex (Reply #55)

Mon Mar 9, 2020, 04:12 PM

56. Thank you. Hope to share hope ✨✨💕✨✨

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