Nicknames for the real Donald Trump . . .

I was in grammar school last time I called someone a name in an effort to win an argument. It felt childish even then. Ever since, I’ve had too much respect for myself, and for other people, to resort to such crass behavior.

Or I did, until now.

I’m astonished that a major party candidate for President called people names — silly, unimaginative names — and somehow not only prevailed in the election but left many of his opponents seemingly deathly afraid he might resurrect these names to further debase them. What were they afraid of? Liddle? Fat? Over-Rated? Flaky? Sloppy? Loser? Sadly, nicknames with no true bite.

I suffered far worse in the fourth grade.

And what perplexed me most was there were far more imaginative names bandied about for Donald Trump, especially in the years since he became President, for anyone to be left grasping for an appropriate response — if that was where they felt they had to go to gain an upper hand. So I began to collect Donald Trump nicknames back in early ’16, to keep from being caught flatfooted should he turn his ire on me.

What follows below are the 250+ nicknames I’ve collected over the past four years. Some will be self-evident. Others may need a little explanation, which I’ve provided parenthetically afterwards. I've also included sources after some of the names, to give credit where credit is due, though I haven't added near as many sources as I should. This has been a labor of attack, not scholarship.

I’ve grouped them in large categories, to make it easier to find appropriate responses. Within each category, the names are listed randomly, often in just the order I came upon them. Over the years, I’ve found my favorites changed to reflect the daily outrage, so any attempt to systemize them seemed self-defeating.

You’ll find I left some popular insults out. I considered some too crass for effective use, since a belittling nickname is best if it doesn’t reflect poorly on the user. You may disagree and that’s your right. You won’t get an argument from me. And I certainly wouldn’t call you names if you did, as that sort of behavior is best reserved for the effort to rid ourselves of a true and virulent threat to our Constitutional rule of law.

I wish I could have set these up in a table. It would have made them so much more useful. I also wish I could have added more interlinear spacing. I also look forward to any additional names commenters may add.

Without further ado, here’s what I’ve heard and read over the past four years about the real Donald Trump.


Impeachment Inspired

IMpotus

Russian Inspired

Red Don
The Brooklyn Bolshevik
apricot aPParatchik
Collaborator in Chief
Comrade Trumputin
Comrade Casino
Cyrillic Apprentice
Comrade C*©kholster
Putin’s Puppet
Putin’s Putty
Putin’s Bitch
Putin’s C*©k-Holster (Stephen Colbert)
The Russian Mole
Putin’s Pet
PuPPet
Trumpsky
Putinfluffer
PPotus
Comrade Crayola
Putin’s Pumpkin
PP (after the Moscow dossier)
Trumpp (after the Moscow dossier)
Presidentski
The Orange Russian
Comrade Minus (Pete Souza, Obama photographer)
Tя☭mp
Puppetrump
Donnie Moscow
Mr. “I’m F***ed”
Don Kremleone
DosveDonald
Don-stoevski (author of Crime & No Punishment)
Donsvadanya
Donaldovich Ivan Trumpsky

Traitor Inspired

Benedict Donald
Beenadick Donald
Treasonweasel
TR45ON
Individual-1
Manchurian Cantaloupe

Twitter Inspired

Tweety Amin
Tweetenstein
Twittorrhea
Little Lord tRumple-Twit
Twidiot in Chief
Itchy Twitter Finger
Covfeve in Thief
Chief Covfefe
Tweety McTweeterson
Nostradumbass
Capitalizer in Chief
Agolf Twittler
Tweeto
Old Hateful Tweetgeyser
Childish Thumbino
Commander-in-Tweet
Masturtweeter
Old Man Twitler
Moby Dork (after “Prince of Whales” tweet)
King Twit

Dictator Inspired

Hair Twitler
Hair Furor
Mein Trumpf
A-Dolt Twitler
Sweet Potato Pol Pot
Cheetolini
Cheatolini
Mango Mussolini
Cinnamon Hitler
Pumpkin Spice Goebbels
Trumpenfuhrer
El Caudillo del Mar-A-Lago
Velveeta Himmler
King Drumpf
Twitler
Combover Castro
Tee Time Tito
Marshall Tweeto
Marmalade Mugabe
Genghis Can't
Needy Amin
Der Mankindertweetenfuhrer
Il Dunce
His MAGA-sty
Mr. Petulant Crossed Arms
Big Birther is Watching You, Winston!
Despot Don
#Cult45

Orange Skin & Yellow Hair Inspired

Cheeto Benito
Cheeto von Tweeto
Cheeto Bandito
Cheeto Jesus
O Yellar
Cheez-It-in-Chief
Cheez Whiz
Orange Foolius
Fanta Ranter
Angry Creamsicle
Tangerine Tyrant
Government Cheese Goebbels
Agent Orange
Agent Orange Treasonweasel
Nasturtium Narcissist
Orange Pillock (British informal: “stupid person”)
Angry Pumpkin
Tangerine Idi Amin
King Tangerine the First
Orange-utan
Talking Yam
Micturition Man
MANGOTUS
His Orangeness
Velveeto Corleone
Mangolini
Orange Oaf of Office
Mango Molester
The Hate Pumpkin
The Trumpkin Party
Emperor Tang
Manchurian Cantaloupe
Ginger Git
Naranja Numbskull
The Aqua Net Autistic
Nectarine Nero

Little Hands Inspired

Short-Fingered Vulgarian
King Donald the Doll-Handed
The Tiny-Handed Tyrant
Dinky Donny (Cher)
Stumpy
Chubby Nubby
Babyfingers Trump
Pixie Fingers Trump
Tiny Handed Totalitarian
Littlefingers
Tiny Hands Trump
Donnie Dollhands
Commander Babyfingers

Corpulescence Inspired

Jabba the Trump
Donnie Two Scoops
Plumpty Trumpty
Trumpty Dumpty
The Girther
Fat Nixon
President Hugh Janus
Habeus Corpulent (Latin for “Show us the fat-ass!”)
King Tub
Burger-boy
Bloatard
Empty Dumpty
FATUS

Lieing Inspired

Herr Confounderer (me, on global warming statement)
The Cowardly Liar
Donocchio
Dead Parrot President (reflexively contradicts obvious, if inconvenient, facts – “many want to be my COS”)
Commander in Cheat
President Pinnochio

Just Descriptive

Dolt 45
Trumplethinskin
Mighty Mouth (run in, without gun, take down felon)
Dotard (Kim Jong Un)
DOTUS
Marie Antrumpette
Dim Dotard
Dotard J. Trump
Chauncey Gardner (he only watches it on TV)
Donald Flunk
Fredo (“I can handle things. I’m smart. Not like everybody says, like dumb. I’m smart!”)
Banktrumpt
Cadet Bone Spurs
The Boy Blunder
Captain Chaos
Tom Buchanan (& Daisy)
Stable Genius
President Fluffernutter.
. . . this petit bourgeois hotelier, this predatory rentier . . . (me)
Dumpster Fire
Careening Clowncar of Chaos, Cacophony, and Catastrophic Clusterfuck
Donnie Darko
Drumpf
Moron (Secretary of State Rex Tillerson)
Fucking Moron (Secretary of State Rex Tillerson)
F*©kface von Clownstick (Jon Stewart)
Dodgeball Donnie
Trump of Doom (from the Bible, “Revelations”)
Trumpster Fire
Captain Deflection
IMPOTUS
Current Occupant
President Asterisk
Demented Donnie Drumpf
Rump
Dump
Man-Baby
Child in Chief
King Mierdas (King Midas in reverse)
Call Jeffy!! We got a leak on the Trumptanic!!
Criminal-in-Chief
The Babbling Crook
Goniff-in-Chief
The Pied Viper
President Infantile
Diaper Don
BLOTUS (“Biggest Liar of the United States)
PLOTUS (Pathological Liar of the United States)
PeeWee Trump (after UN laughter: ‘I meant to do that!’)
Chumpo the Clown (Elect a clown, get a circus, expect more clowns)
Loathsome Toad (“A Face in the Crowd”)
Pathetic Inadequate (bestowed by Nicholas Soames, Winston Churchill’s grandson, after Trump refused to go to Aisne-Marne American Cemetery)
Temper Tantrump
Trumper Tantrum
Donnie Rotten
Oberbefehl Scheisskopf (“Top Command Shithead”)
Bankrupt Billionaire
Toadglans von Hamberder
Combover in Chief
Grumblethinskin
Offal Office
Thief Executive
Trump-For-Brains
King Minus
Pompous Brokeahontas
ETTD (Everything Trump Touches Dies)
POtuS
President Trumpo (Newt Gingrich, while defending him against Mueller press conference)
Drumpfuck
Don Trumpxote (railing [tilting] against windmills)
Donnarrea
Homo Defectus
Vile Pile
Cockwomble (British: A completely useless person who spouts constant bullshit)
President Trumpy McScummy
Audience of One
The Minus Touch (after losses in the governors' races in 2018)
The Pestilent
Yellicopter

Alliterative Names

Butternut Brezhnev
Creamsicle Khrushchev
Papaya Perón
Cantaloupe Caligula
Tangerine Toddler
Mantan Molotov
Fanta Franco
Marmalade Mugabe
Tangerine Tito
Kumquat Quisling
Sunkist Stalin
Henna Himmler
Turmeric the Terrible
Dorito Duvalier
Persimmon Putin
Kumquat Khrushchev
Cheddar Ceauşescu
Spraytan Stalin
Toddler Tyrant

Golden Showers Inspired

PP

Parade Inspired

Cadet Scheiskopf (Catch-22)

Stormy Inspired

Captain Underpants
David Dennison (alias in Stormy Daniels’ legal filing)
Spankee
Unindicted Co-Conspirator
Poke-A-Pornstar (in response to “Pocohantas”)
Skanky Manslut
Toad (Stormy Daniel’s description of Little Donald)
Toadglans
Moronic Mini Mushroom
Toadglans
Individual 1

Self-Supplied Aliases

David Dennison (alias in Stormy Daniels’ legal filing)
John Barron
John Miller