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Fri Feb 14, 2020, 12:40 PM

My Problem: Any Thoughts Appreciated

Last edited Fri Feb 14, 2020, 05:52 PM - Edit history (1)

1. I am in distress over Orange Hitler and his moronic base. This should never happen in the United States of America.

2. I have grown to dislike discussing politics as facts and my logic seem to lack currency, leading to item 1.

3. The risk of losing in November with no checks on Orange Hitler is unacceptable, leading to item 1.

4. I dislike our primary, leading to item 1.

I don't believe in wishing my life away but the next 11 months are not a good time for me. On top of that I am encountering similar dysfunctional behavior in my profession. I feel anger. My confidence is lowered. I am disappointed.

I have been depressed and this isn't depression but I could see it perhaps progressing to that point. I am aging and while I am not that old I do feel less vibrant. I can think of all kinds of things to do to take charge and would have done those things at a younger age. That adds to my distress as well.

This place, well, it can be frustrating too with all of the conflict.

So I am throwing this at the wall to see what bounces back. Thanks for listening.

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Reply My Problem: Any Thoughts Appreciated (Original post)
Cary Friday OP
Wounded Bear Friday #1
Grasswire2 Friday #2
Cary Friday #6
mwooldri Friday #18
Cary Friday #21
WhiskeyGrinder Friday #3
Dennis Donovan Friday #4
Cary Friday #8
pandr32 Friday #11
mwooldri Friday #19
CTyankee Friday #12
Cary Friday #17
CTyankee Friday #56
quakerboy Friday #62
Grasswire2 Friday #5
barbtries Friday #35
enough Friday #7
Cary Friday #10
pandr32 Friday #9
True Blue American Friday #30
pandr32 Friday #54
TommyCelt Friday #60
True Blue American Friday #63
GoCubsGo Friday #13
Cary Friday #15
GoCubsGo Friday #27
Cary Friday #29
GoCubsGo Friday #46
Cary Friday #59
GoCubsGo Friday #65
Hermit-The-Prog Friday #14
forgotmylogin Friday #16
Cary Friday #20
True Blue American Friday #33
Amaryllis Friday #22
Cary Friday #24
peacebuzzard Friday #23
Cary Friday #25
Cary Friday #26
Kali Friday #28
Cary Friday #32
Nay Friday #72
VOX Friday #31
barbtries Friday #34
hibbing Friday #36
OneCrazyDiamond Friday #37
Cary Friday #79
KY_EnviroGuy Friday #38
randr Friday #39
Karadeniz Friday #40
yaesu Friday #41
Silver1 Friday #42
Ponietz Friday #43
58Sunliner Friday #44
safeinOhio Friday #45
marieo1 Friday #47
Dyedinthewoolliberal Friday #48
TalenaGor Friday #49
Perseus Friday #50
PatrickforO Friday #51
gembaby1 Friday #52
lunatica Friday #53
KPN Friday #55
tiredtoo Friday #57
stillcool Friday #58
TygrBright Friday #61
hunter Friday #68
TygrBright Friday #70
Mickju Friday #64
Chakaconcarne Friday #66
Pepsidog Friday #67
BigDemVoter Friday #69
jmbar2 Friday #71
Toorich Friday #73
hamsterjill Friday #74
McKim Friday #75
pnwest Friday #76
patricia92243 Friday #77
Cary Friday #78

Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 12:43 PM

1. Just remember, you are not alone...

we're all trying to fight the good fighth.

Maintain hope, for some of us it's all we have.

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 12:46 PM

2. Find community IRL.

You certainly are not alone in your sentiments.

Senior community center?

Neighbors? Protest groups who gather and stand with signs?

You can certainly be actively resisting via Letters To The Editor, social media sharing of information.

Join the aclu for ten bucks or so and lend your voice to the cause of liberty.

Or get away from it altogether. Seek endorphins to lift your mood. (music, laughter, dark chocolate, beauty, walking...)

You might find some relief in watching old-time comedies (certainly PLENTY of that on youtube) like Marx Bros, Three Stooges, George Carlin, whatever suits you.

Have you got a hobby?

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Response to Grasswire2 (Reply #2)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 12:52 PM

6. My main hobby is Shotokan

Last week at a tournament I was very excited to do my kata, Kankudai. I get through the first 10 moves really well. I am in a zone but then what happens?

I transition into Heian Ni Dan. Now Kankudai is the Heian katas so this is somewhat understandable but I am embarrassed and this isn't helping me either.

Damn, I should have done Gojushiusho.

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Response to Cary (Reply #6)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 01:07 PM

18. I could say find some boards with the Marmalade Shartcannon painted on...

... and smash those boards to smithereens.

Practicing kata is good. Making me ashamed I gave up karate (Wado Ryu) those years ago, now I'm as stiff as those boards I'm advising to smash...

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Response to mwooldri (Reply #18)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 01:11 PM

21. Wado is cool

You should go back.

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 12:47 PM

3. Is there a way you can make a difference to someone in your community?

Volunteering, direct action and direct donation outside of political parties are great ways to strengthen your community and make a difference to people now, without relying on the political process. It also helps build resilience for systemic change, whether within our outside the political process.

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 12:47 PM

4. At the clip that Trump has accelerated his crimin', he might not make it 'til Nov

At some point there *will* be a line he crosses that will be too much, even for the GOP.

He is completely out of control - an implosion is coming.

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Response to Dennis Donovan (Reply #4)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 12:54 PM

8. You have more faith than I do

Orange Hitler took a party that was "conservative" with a white supremacist fringe and transformed it into a white.supremacist party with some "conservative" hanger on-ers.

Attribution: John Fugelsang

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Response to Cary (Reply #8)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 12:57 PM

11. Exactly right

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Response to Cary (Reply #8)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 01:08 PM

19. Why I call the GOP the Trump Party. NT

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Response to Dennis Donovan (Reply #4)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 12:58 PM

12. You mean like shooting someone on Fifth Avenue in NYC?

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Response to CTyankee (Reply #12)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 01:06 PM

17. Boggles my mind

Yep.

I have a lot of experience with cults but I am still unsettled by those who gleefully follow.

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Response to Cary (Reply #17)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 02:41 PM

56. Well, I guess we were warned.

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Response to Dennis Donovan (Reply #4)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 03:10 PM

62. You overestimate them

Or underestimate how complicit they are.

They cant take him down without taking themselves down. Short of finding a deal that lets themselves off the hook, they will not turn, no matter what line he crosses. And the impeachment, needed as it was, just added to the visible complicity and made them all the less likely to turn on him, no matter the provocation.

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 12:50 PM

5. oops, I assumed that you are older --- sorry

Didn't read your note well enough.

Have you talked to a doctor about how you are feeling? I know they are seeing increasing numbers of people affected by the politics of the day.

My suggestion about seeking endorphins holds.

Maybe stay away from the primary forum here.

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Response to Grasswire2 (Reply #5)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 01:39 PM

35. this is absolutely true.

when i went to my doctor after the election i asked him directly and he said yes, he had been seeing many people unnerved and discombobulated, afraid and feeling depressed, when trump took over.

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 12:52 PM

7. First, take care of yourself. When we get too far down, we need to remove ourselves

from the constant barrage of information. Whatever you like to do, do that for a while. Also, get outside, move around. Maybe try something new, or something you used to do but havenít done for a while. And donít worry about being old. Thereís still a lot you can do. Iím 75, so I know. I wish you well, these are really hard times.

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Response to enough (Reply #7)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 12:56 PM

10. Thanks. Yes, trying to do that

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 12:55 PM

9. You have plenty of company

Not all are people who are older, either. I have young adult children who have confessed similar worries and anxiety. Both work with the public to some degree and are discouraged with your number 1 and 2, same as you. It has led them to retreat politically and keep their liberalism to themselves. Both have lost some of their optimism for our country.
We recently had visitors from Canada and got a shock of our lives. A Canadian actually claimed Trump is the best president we've ever had, Hillary murdered people, and Trump Jr. will be elected in 2024 after his father serves another term. Being from Canada ourselves this was quite a shock. Not all our friends and family from there believe this way, but quite obviously social media and FOX News have had some success indoctrinating people across the border.

Our perpetual elections have become reality TV. There is much more opinion being circulated than facts. We are all seeing the nasty effects.

Happy Valentine's Day anyway. I refuse to give my hope for better away, but I will give you a heart.

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Response to pandr32 (Reply #9)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 01:26 PM

30. There was an article about School age children barring

Hispanics from moving,shouting,Ē This is Trump Country. One case took place in Ohio.

Children learning from the bullly. It was on my local station and MSNBC!

Children see, children do!

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Response to True Blue American (Reply #30)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 02:37 PM

54. Exactly and we have a monster role model in the WH

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Response to True Blue American (Reply #30)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 03:07 PM

60. #BeBest (nt)

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Response to TommyCelt (Reply #60)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 03:10 PM

63. Or,

I donít care,do you?

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 12:59 PM

13. Primaries are always messy.

Pick who you like. Vote for them. When it's over, support whomever gets the nomination, even if you don't like them. ALL of them are infinitely better than Trump. Tune the rest out. A lot of the current discord and discouragement are being sown by outside sources. They saw what happened in 2016, and they believe it will work again, so here we go again. Judging by the levels of infighting we're seeing, it appears they are right. Time to stop falling for it. I get that people are scared, but we really need to stop doing the Right's bidding for them.

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Response to GoCubsGo (Reply #13)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 01:04 PM

15. Definitely, that is my plan

As I said I am not enjoying this time.

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Response to Cary (Reply #15)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 01:24 PM

27. I don't believe that many of us are enjoying it.

I sure am not. Can't wait until it's all over.

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Response to GoCubsGo (Reply #27)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 01:25 PM

29. Sad to wish away good years

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Response to Cary (Reply #29)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 02:06 PM

46. Huh?

I'm talking about the primaries. That's only a few months.

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Response to GoCubsGo (Reply #46)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 03:03 PM

59. I am talking about all of Orange Hitler years

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Response to Cary (Reply #59)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 03:19 PM

65. Oh, gotcha.

Yep. The last 3 years definitely were not only wasted, but also a massive leap backwards in so many ways.

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 01:04 PM

14. How are you with an axe, hammer, pick and shovel?

Strenuous physical activity can cure a lot of ails, both physical and emotional. (As long as there is no health impediment to doing so). I'm not being facetious.

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 01:04 PM

16. I have had to cut down on my political news consumption.

I don't turn on MSNBC as much (love them, but it feels like they're screaming into the wind sometimes) and switched my car stereo and clock radio alarm away from NPR. I even occasionally declare a moratorium on reading here sometimes for a day or a couple of hours.

Now I make choices when I want to hear news and avoid it if I'm in no mood. Obsessing about politics can grate on the soul sometimes, so I specifically divert the choice from "wonder what I45 has done now" to "let me listen to some music or go outside and get some air."

Don't ever get the idea that taking time for self-care equates to apathy.

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Response to forgotmylogin (Reply #16)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 01:09 PM

20. Yes.

I am watching less as well but the triggers are all around me.

Disinformation bothers me. I want to attack disinformation and crush it.

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Response to forgotmylogin (Reply #16)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 01:28 PM

33. Same story

24 hours,then on to the next one. Quit watching.

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 01:13 PM

22. Did you see this thread? I found it very helpful:


https://www.democraticunderground.com/100212977409

Dan Rather: "They are counting on despair. That's how they win."
They are counting on despair. That's how they win.

Those who seek to undermine our democracy, to normalize corruption and hate and division... They are counting on despair.

Those who say our votes don't matter, that facts don't matter, that the truth doesn't matter... They are counting on despair.

Those who say there are "real Americans," that we need to go back to a mythic past, that we should close ourselves to the world... They are counting on despair.

Those who would despoil our environment and undermine science... They are counting on despair.

Those who would gaslight, lie, and revel in propaganda... They are counting on despair.

Those who look the other way, make excuses, and normalize autocracy... They are counting on despair.

There is a tendency to feel the despair well up from within, and not recognize it as a weapon being wielded with precision and purpose from without. They are counting on despair.

The greatest leaders in our history knew that despair is toxic to progress. Washington at Valley Forge. Lincoln at Gettysburg. Martin Luther King, Jr. in Birmingham. But more than the famous names are the countless women and men who have fought back against despair in the service of hope, and progress. I have seen it in foxholes, on picket lines, in classrooms, and in midst of natural disasters. I have seen it in the marches, movements, and moments where people rose up and said our world can be better, and we will do the hard work to make it so.

Despair these days is an understandable feeling. Our world seems in many ways upside down. To fight against the odds, against the powerful, against the morally bankrupt, is exhausting. But just remember, they are counting on despair. Will you let them have it?


https://www.facebook.com/theDanRather/posts/10163050285505716

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Response to Amaryllis (Reply #22)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 01:18 PM

24. No I didn't. Thank you.

Yes they are sowing despair to discourage us from voting and that was on my mind as I voiced my despair.

So I figured that the best way to deal with it was to voice that despair. The best way to deal with it was to share it and solicit replies like yours. Thank you. You are helpful.

Feelings have a beginning, a middle, and an end. They aren't good or bad, they just are. So okay I am despairing at the moment. It is ok. This too shall pass.

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 01:13 PM

23. I understand where you are.

It takes guts and fortitude to even wake up or sleep at night, it seems.

Just way too many things wrong at the moment, and I can only offer this: understanding and, indeed, commiseration.

It did help me tremendously to tune out of MSM for the most part. I rarely, if ever go there. I do spend more time reading and writing during my off-work hours. I have cats I care for, which is great.

I rarely socialize, however. It seems to zap even more energy.

Best wishes....Peace.

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Response to peacebuzzard (Reply #23)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 01:19 PM

25. I love my cat!

Thanks for your thoughts.

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 01:21 PM

26. THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT!

You all have made me smile.

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 01:25 PM

28. winter is half over

the daylight and weather will start to help improve mood, but getting outside anyway can really help. when at DU, avoid the primaries forum and stay in the Lounge.

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Response to Kali (Reply #28)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 01:26 PM

32. Thanks, yes

Winter blues. It is very cold today here in Chicago.

That is part of my problem too.

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Response to Cary (Reply #32)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 03:58 PM

72. On the first day that it is nice enough outside, take your binoculars and GO. Read

this poem a few times to get in the mood. Maybe start a nature journal? I have.

The Peace of Wild Things
Wendell Berry

When despair for the world grows in me
And I wake in the night at the least sound
In fear of what my life and my children's lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
Rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
Who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief.
I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
Waiting with their light.
For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.


Like others here, I do not watch TV. (Only movies, etc, with no ads). I take an hour to read news on DU and that's it. Also, when I went to the Gulf Coast for 3 weeks, I did not have a computer and saw absolutely no political shit. I bird watched early every morning and make quite a list of spectacular birds, and then painted them all in my journal.

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 01:26 PM

31. You're not alone. And it's not just the U.S., it's worldwide.

For multiple reasons (or lack thereof), much of the world is in a wrestling match with autocracy/nationalism vs. democracy/tolerance. The UK, France, Italy, Netherlands, Sweden, Denmark, Germany, Poland, Czechoslovakia, Hungary and even Brazil are grappling with toxic nationalist movements/governments. This isnít helpful to your discomfort, but know that there WILL eventually be a reversal of this toxic tide.

I say this cautiously: your distress and overload make perfect sense, given whatís occurring. Iíd be far more worried if you WERENíT feeling this way. Again, small comfort, but realize that youíre completely stable, rational and heed reality. Thatís no small feat these days.

Your depletion is also ďnormal,Ē as weíre witnessing some very strange and unsettling events. But in order to stay on-balance and not slide into depression, you must distract yourself from the ďnoiseĒ for awhile. Whatever interest gives you life, go there, really delve into it. Example: Iíve gotten into playing guitar again; I collect vintage pre-WWII baseball and boxing cards; I also collect ďmilitary minaturesĒ (toy soldiers ) and really delve into history. Astronomy is another interest that connects me with something bigger than the imagination. Anything that gives you life is on the table.

Final suggestion: Stay away from the media as much as possible. Youíll feel a compulsion to ďcheck things out,Ē but donít give in; think of it as toxic. Your rest and relaxation will build up your brainís ďfeel goodĒ neurotransmitters.

Hang in there. Weíre right here with you. Go safely.


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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 01:34 PM

34. it's really hard for me too.

right after the election I was still working including with people i knew had voted for trump, so for the first time in my life (i'm 64) I went to my doctor and got a prescription. I told him I need to maintain professionalism with certain people I feel extremely hostile toward, and from the start I recognized that trump would be a catastrophe. He prescribed klonopin, and anti anxiety medication, and i take about 2 every week. i don't take it daily because it is addictive. I find that I am more productive on days after I take it and so I would say it has been helpful for me.

I also see a counselor. There were other dramas in my life that precipitated that, including losing my job and a family tragedy, but at some sessions we talk extensively about the trauma of trump. This has been for over the past year now, and I've scaled down because I think I am better able to cope and stave off a full blown depression now, and my counselor agrees, but he's still there for me and I will probably continue to see him from time to time.

and this may sound anti-intuitive, but i Twitter. I block anyone who is a trumpster and have followed thousands of resisters and gained quite a few as well. I think of it as group therapy. Because I have a pretty well controlled twitter feed, I get a lot of information and a lot of validation of my views and my distress at what's happened to my country.

I don't know if any of this can work for you or not. Oh yeah I turn off the news on a regular basis and watch youtube videos about other things, happy things. Farmers and birth vlogs and cute puppies and vet shows and cooking. it calms my thoughts.

nothing seems to change since he took office except to get worse. I'm in the resistance for as long as need be even to the death. Many people are not engaged as we are on DU and from my perspective, they are almost oblivious to the damage being done. I wear them out when I talk about it a lot, but I also educate them and raise their consciousness if only a teensy bit.

Lastly, I've become involved in local politics. I'm sec/treas for my precinct. I have marched and participated in get out the vote efforts. I write and call my 2 republican senators. so. check in by and by, I hope you feel better soon. i hope we all will.

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 01:46 PM

36. Feeling many of those things too n/t

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 01:50 PM

37. Item 1

Is the the result of a dying ideology. The last flash of dying star. That is why they are cramming through judge appointments. Election wins will be fewer and fewer. They know it.

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Response to OneCrazyDiamond (Reply #37)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 06:18 PM

79. From your lips to God's ear!

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 01:51 PM

38. My suggestions: Find your inner stoic, work on humility and help others.

I developed clinical depression in my late 50s and struggle with it every day, now at 72. Along with some herbs and supplements I take, I find the best relief in helping others in any way I can, like fixing stuff. Perhaps you can channel some of your Shotokan energy into that.

Meditation techniques I developed early in my alcohol recovery program carried me through many trials, as I had to travel all over the US for several years for a living as a service engineer. Now retired, I still treasure those methods.They help me to reset my ego and keep things in perspective.

Being the extremely curious sort, I also had to take a path of discovery to learn more about myself and the human race in general. Learning some things about personality types and evolution has helped me learn acceptance, one of the keys to true inner peace and happiness.

I hope you find your path to peace and joy. It must be your path........

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 01:53 PM

39. Volunteer to sign up new voters

and then make sure they get to the polls

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 01:58 PM

40. Do you have a dog to snuggle with? They can be great reminders of Goodness.

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 01:58 PM

41. Instead of watching the news go to youtube, put on a good pair of headphones & pick one of many

thousands of ASMR videos to watch, my favorite is Spa's, haircuts or simple ear to ear tapping, whispering

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 01:59 PM

42. This is what I think

Do what you can, even if it's small things. But do something.

There will be victories and there will be losses. It's not a sprint, it's a marathon.

Pace yourself and conserve your energy so you can do more.

Don't let the negative voices take you down! Ignore them!

WE CAN WIN IN NOVEMBER.

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 02:00 PM

43. First things first--take care of yourself and stay strong

lots of green 🥬 vegetables, daily sunlight, and moderate exercise. Donít let the cobwebs build up. This remedy keeps the mind strong, too. Thatís all I got. Best regards

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 02:02 PM

44. I've had a virus the last 2 days and started having nausea.

At least I think it was a virus. I realized the stomach pain and discomfort was actually stress. I did some deep breathing and was able to sleep. I had been taking Tums and drinking Pepto Bismul. The first time I have ever felt like I had an ulcer. You are not alone in feeling like your IQ has gone down the toilet the past few months/years. We are having to use our most basic survival stress responses and that is a killer. Remember when we used to have nuanced conversations about policy? I'm reduced to flinging verbal poo in rage. And I am dealing with a spinal injury which isn't helping at all. Those of us with a history of abuse and PTSD are at risk. This POS is constantly triggering.
There are many good suggestions here. Fresh air and exercise are really important. I like herbal tea, can't live without it. Make something grow, classical music helps. Last night I spent time watching the Aurora Borealis online.

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 02:05 PM

45. You have all of my best wishes.

My SO is a lot like you and is suffering from this too.
You are at the right place to share your feeling on this issue. Remember this, a problem shared is a problem cut in half. A lot of great idea generated from this post that I'm sure is helping others.

Best of luck and stay Safe.

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 02:06 PM

47. Tarnished

I have never hated anyone in my entire life as much as I hate DJT and his enablers. They have tarnished our White House. I pray we can get all of the trash out of the WH and some people in it with some honesty and a sense of what is right and wrong and with a strong commitment to our constitution.

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 02:13 PM

48. Watch this and think about it

Giving up is exactly what some people want. Increasing your anxiety and distress is part of their plan. But it's not gonna work. As Abe Lincoln said ' You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can't fool all of the people all of the time'

https://www.msnbc.com/all-in/watch/chris-hayes-trump-is-weak-and-beatable-78517317507

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 02:14 PM

49. I feel ya - if trump wins/steals another election - I dont think I want to live in america anymore

not sure I can take it...im 51...im sick of this shit

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 02:21 PM

50. get away from politics for a couple of weeks and dedicate time to your sport or hobby

That is what I did, I got away from the politics, kind of came to DU and browsed once in a while, read a couple of books (pick something with humor), I happen to like Kurt Vonnegut, even though his stories are about "human stupidity" he does it in a very funny way. My favourite is "Cat's Cradle".

Watch funny movies, or romantic movies with good endings of course.

Get away from it all for a couple of weeks, be disciplined about it, and when you come back you will be very relaxed.

Good luck to you, I hope it works out.

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 02:27 PM

51. It's anxiety. You might even experience a panic attack.

If you do, your heart will race so much it will feel like you might be having 'the big one.' Your body might jerk in a convulsion or two. You may feel a kind of crawly sensation inside, as if you are dizzy and losing your balance but it isn't that. It's sort of an internal wobbliness.

This whole thing sucks. No doubt.

To do my part, I have resolved internally that I will be neutral on this board toward all the candidates (within reason - I can't promise that 100%), and will wholeheartedly support our nominee, whoever that may be.

In the meantime I believe this site is quite well moderated, and good people do their level best to keep out trolls. That's why I like it here. It is a gentle, nice place. Most on here (but not all) are well informed, well-read, bright and write succinctly. (Well I tend to be a bit verbose, but that's just me).

Now two things:
1. The main thing to remember is that the centrists in our party are NOT evil, nor are the progressives, and, though only a part of the group on here will agree, I believe any one of them could beat Trump. Amy, Joe, Pete, Elizabeth or Bernie. Or even the two billionaires in the race, Steyer and Bloomberg. All of us want the same thing, which is the return of our republic and forward progress in stuff like healthcare, climate change, education and the like.

2. If this group bothers you, and you decide to alleviate that, you might go on a site like The Hill and contend with the real trolls and right wing-nuts that infest that board. You'll get a thicker skin pretty quickly.

Just remember Cary, you are among friends here on DU. Speaking for myself, I am neutral toward one or two people on here and like the rest. I really, really like about 20 people on here. It's a good place.


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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 02:29 PM

52. You are battling the human condition.

Things tend to be circular in life. Times get good and then people get dissatisfied anyway and start acting like their bored and that there are colossal problems when there is barely anything. Itís what led up to ĎThe Great Warí and other stupid follies. People like to push their luck and start Ďexperimentingí.

Weíve been here before and itíll happen again. Progress is not a straight easy road and its not a forgone conclusion. Put aside the hubris because no country is immune from this. You institutions are only as strong as the people willing to fight for them.

I am sorry but know that it will end. All dictators fall. Whether anyone will learn from this, is entirely a different question.

Just look back on history. This is the world we live in. Just take care of yourself and never stop fighting for your ideals. Thatís whatís most important. Good luck.

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 02:36 PM

53. You are suffering from PTSD

We all are to some extent. He has wrought emotional violence on everyone, including his MAGATs who will also pay a personal price psychically. Donít let it get any worse by ignoring the seriousness of the effect itís having on you.

Itís like you want Trump and his invasive Trumpist followers to just go away but you also feel you donít dare relax because the emotional blows are coming so fast, one after the other. The effect is hyper vigilance. Itís what happens whenever there is a bullying abuser who has power over you living in your life.

The important thing to do is, first, acknowledge the truth of the situation, including your inability to do anything about the situation. Then figure out what you CAN do for yourself to escape the feelings of despair. The answers will come to you. We all have recourses to care for ourselves. Do you have vacation time coming? Take it and do something you love without paying attention to the news while youíre doing it. It will all still be there when you get back, ready to fight again. Just figure out what your alternatives are and do them.

The number one rule that all emotionally stable people do is know when they have to take care of themselves in order to be the best they can be. Do things you love. If you love movies then binge watch them. If you love reading then binge read. Spoil yourself a little. Youíll be better able to fight the good fight when you return.

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 02:41 PM

55. Not sure this is helpful one bit. But I go through

the exact same cycle and feelings. What has helped me is reflecting on three years I spent as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Africa in the mid 70s. It seemed to me that the governments throughout the entire continent were blatantly corrupt during my time there. By and large, the people were poor ó abundantly, ubiquitously so. At the same time, they seemed almost always to have a genuinely happy demeanor and spirit.

Autocrats and corruption dominated politics and governments, yet life went on. Life wasnít perfect, but the human spirit prevailed. The country I served in, Lesotho, was rated as the 3rd poorest in the world by the UN when I first went over there. Yet the people were by and large happy. They survived, and they enjoyed despite economic and political conditions. It struck me that they actually did have wealth, but it was a wealth of human spirit, a wealth of each other, a wealth of relationships, of camaraderie. It was inspiring to say the least.

So, I reflect on that experience to help me through the depressing moments and days. I take comfort and gain optimism from the knowledge that the human spirit can and does prevail at the society level if not in every case the personal level despite political and economic conditions. I see that same thing in our own young in America today. They pull together, they form bonds of common interest and purpose like Iíve not seen since the Vietnam War protest years. It gives me optimism. Life will go on, people on the whole will find the means to be happy and enjoy life despite whatever is thrown at them. There will be pain, there will be sacrifice, but unless the world dies, life will go on. And there will be reasons to feel good.

It helps me to reflect on what I experienced in Africa. And itís definitely better than the alternative ... which for me would be a never ending negative spiral downward. So So I use it to get myself out of that bad head space and focus on something more productive. It works for me.

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 02:52 PM

57. I feel your pain

Being disabled to the extent I can no longer participate in rallies/demonstrations and similar actions makes my fear grow. All we can do is what we can do. The conflict in this place will settle in a few months, our candidate will be selected. Personally I donate a little money to candidates, I provide transportation to people knocking on doors, I donate food products (apples/pizzas/soda etc.)to meetings of like minded groups. And i try to share my reasons for opposing the orange turd at every opportunity. I plan to continue with these efforts until the election in November. And any other actions requested that fall within my limits. My biggest effort will be getting out the vote in November. Vote Blue No Matter Who!
To relieve some of the pain and suffering get a good book (non-political) and sit someplace of comfort. Bury yourself in the book for awhile. Just walk away from the world for a bit.

Hope this relieves your pain some. Carry on, Carry on!

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 02:58 PM

58. as a person with emotional disorders...

on a good day, here's my coping tricks
1. Go outside, and see what there is to see. The sun, the woods, the beach, whatever is in your backyard. Breathe. Walk. Think of the present, and what you are grateful for.
2. Go outside, at night, and see what there is to see. Telescope is good, but the naked eye works just as well. Imagine what you could be seeing. Pick out a star and make it your own. Mine is Capella. She an I are simpatico.
3. Think about how many people have populated the earth before you came along. Imagine...they all had a story, they all had a life.
4. Do not watch any cable news programming.
5. Stay away from all things political, a day at a time. It's amazing how I can fill time with productive activities.

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 03:08 PM

61. Turn off the teevee and limit your Intertoobz to cat videos for a week.

During that week, take lots of walks outdoors.

If possible, at least once a day stop in a coffee shop and chat cheerfully with the baristas, and smile at a couple of customers. If you bought a coffee, sit and drink it while looking around and finding five things that are kinda cool to look at.

Make yourself at least one nice meal a day.

Phone and talk voice-to-voice with an elderly relative. See if you can make them laugh.

Depending on where you live and what your preferences are, work a challenging jigsaw puzzle, clean out a garden bed for spring, make a bird house, or other absorbing activity that has a "result".

Go to bed early every night. If you have insomnia, don't kick yourself around... watch the moon, read a little poetry, make a cup of chamomile tea, go back to bed, rinse, repeat.

Walk the dog or play with the cat every day. If you don't have a furry buddy, visit a dog park and offer to throw sticks or tennis balls for a worn-out dog mom/dad. Make friends with a couple of the friendliest puppers you see.

Be an audience at least once, for something. A school play, a lecture at the library, a free concert at the park, whatever. Notice the people in the audience with you. What do you think their lives and problems are like? Smile if they catch you looking.

Practice healing breathing in the morning and the evening. Just a few breaths, consciously, mindfully, slowly taken, held briefly, fully exhaled. Concentrate on the sensation.

Don't worry. While you're doing all this, we'll keep the shit show going, run around in circles, scream, shout, put out the fires in each others' hair, etc. and it will all still be here when/if you get back.

helpfully,
Bright

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Response to TygrBright (Reply #61)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 03:25 PM

68. Turning off the television is a good one.

Even if someone avoids the television news there are political commercials.

And even if you avoid the political commercials the rest of the commercials are designed to leave you agitated and feeling inadequate unless you buy something.

My wife and I quit traditional television a long time ago.

I'm a political junkie but I avoid topics where I'm just banging my head against the wall.

Here on DU I have "Trump" on my trash-by-keyword list.

That eliminates a lot of discussion that would only agitate me.

I like your suggestions.

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Response to hunter (Reply #68)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 03:51 PM

70. Thanks. I learned 'em the hard way.

Not all of them will work for everyone, but a combo of some of them will be helpful for almost anyone.

The antidote for "toxic connection" is NOT "disconnection". It's increasing the healthy, rewarding connections in your life. Nature, sensory joys, fluffy friends, neighbors and other people generally.

The world is way bigger and time is way longer than my tunnel vision on [whatever] lets me perceive.

As a friend of mine reminds me "When you're head down in a bucket of shit, the bucket of shit becomes your universe."

ruefully,
Bright

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 03:15 PM

64. Everything you mentioned I am feeling too.

You are not alone. I have been depressed since November, 2016 with very little relief.

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 03:20 PM

66. I would recommend disconnecting from politics for 30+ days...

When I've traveled, I've had no access and it was wonderful.

Focus on yourself.

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 03:24 PM

67. Everyday I feel like this

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 03:42 PM

69. Oh yes, I completely understand.

We just have to win. That stupid, orange motherfucker has to go down in flames.

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 03:54 PM

71. Thanks for writing - some more thoughts in addition to the great ideas posted by others...

I agree with the other posters that if you haven't done so already, talk to your Dr. about your depression. Meds might help a lot.

When I am feeling discouraged, I like to think of the civil rights pioneers who laid it on the line every day, for years, defeat after defeat, to make democracy a reality for all Americans. I'd do some reading about how they viewed the long struggle, and how they kept going.

I keep a pic of a bloodied John Lewis, early in his career as a civil rights warrior to remind me that the fight has been much dirtier in the past. They are models for how to keep moving forward in the face of seemingly unbeatable odds.

I'd also like to recommend that you spend time reading the Twitter/blog posts of Teri Kanefield. She is a lawyer, writer and historian who does excellent analysis of what's going on, links to a lot of great research on how to defeat fascism, and maintains a very useful set of recommendations for things you can do to avoid despair. She gets me through a lot of discouraging days.

https://twitter.com/Teri_Kanefield

Finally, I am reminded of a young man in Florida who killed himself in despair when George Bush was awarded the contested election against Al Gore. He missed out seeing Barack Obama become president just four years later! No one could have imagined it at the time.

Our democracy has survived through some very dark times. We have to constantly defend it and finetune it to live up to its promise.

Take a break, refresh, then focus on how you can help us get it back on track.

We need you on our team!

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 04:02 PM

73. Suck it up....

..... Valley Forge.... Gettysburg...... Iwo Jima...... Normandy....
......Korea.....Vietnam......Desert Storm......Afghanistan.....Iraq war....
etc etc etc etc etc etc etc ----Things could be worse!!!

Things are crappy, but it ain't hopeless, and if good people will Get Out The Vote, get out and vote,
take election day off from work or school and take other people who need assistance to vote. etc etc etc.

We Know what must be done.

We need to suck it up and just do a little everyday for the next nine months. That's really not much
of a sacrifice to help save America.

We must, indeed, all hang together or, most assuredly, we shall all hang separately - B. Franklin


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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 04:04 PM

74. I totally understand and relate.

I get down and depressed. I get scared and afraid. I'm not as young as I used to be, have fewer options, have a job I don't like, have lost friends over Trump...the list could go on.

BUT...I concentrate on things I do enjoy and where I feel I can make some contribution. I stay busy with animal rescue which is my absolute passion. I force myself to make lunch dates with like minded friends. When that date arrives, I never seem to want to make myself go, but I do - and once I get there and start talking to a friend or friends, I'm always glad that I did make the effort.

Mostly, though, I'm pissed that people are so stupid as to follow Trump and actually be SO DAMN STUPID as to not see what he is. He is a con man, a liar and a traitor. The media needs to call him a liar instead of saying "he doesn't tell the truth". He's selling this country out for his own greed. It is clear as day.

All we can do it vote and encourage any like minded people around us to do the same.

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 04:24 PM

75. Ideas

Here are some things that work for me:

.Do something wonderful for someone else.
.Have a bunch of neighbors or friends for brunch. Most people have stopped entertaining and people need someplace happy to go to. Entertain at least once a week. Cooking is a simple activity that makes one happy.
.Swim at an indoor pool, take a walk outside.
.Paint a room in your house like you have always wanted to.
.Take favorite photos and have them printed on canvas for inspiring gifts.
.Clean out the basement listening to classical music.
.Send money to your candidate.
.Doing things puts you forward in life, even if you are sad, you are ahead.
. You are not alone. Doctors waiting rooms are full of people who feel as you do.

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 04:56 PM

76. As others have stated, you are not alone. I, too

am humorless, joyless, agitated, distressed, anxious, and maintain a simmering, low boil rage all the time - and have been thus since the moment I saw realization dawning on Rachel Maddowís face that trump was going to win on election night. I donít even laugh at trump memes making fun of him anymore because NONE of this is a laughing matter. This is deadly serious stuff.

Iím also one who has no faith in November. People keep saying to have faith, weíll vote him out in November. I have zero trust that it will not be utterly corrupted and rigged.

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Response to Cary (Original post)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 05:53 PM

77. Just hang out in the DU Lounge for awhile. It's fun and relaxing.

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Response to patricia92243 (Reply #77)

Fri Feb 14, 2020, 06:07 PM

78. This thread is a lot more fun than I have had here at DU in quite some time

I think I will confine myself to the lounge. Thank you for the suggestion.

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