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Sun Jan 26, 2020, 08:46 AM

Trump Makes Powerful Pro-Life Case By Speaking About The Joys Of Neglecting A Child

From https://politics.theonion.com/trump-makes-powerful-pro-life-case-by-speaking-about-th-1841205766

Trump Makes Powerful Pro-Life Case By Speaking About The Joys Of Neglecting A Child

Friday 12:28PM

WASHINGTON—Speaking to thousands of March For Life protesters assembled on the National Mall, President Donald Trump took to the stage Friday to make a powerful pro-life case about the joys of neglecting a child. “Of course, I’m a father, and I had my thoughts about terminating them all, but I’m standing before you today to tell you that I’m glad I didn’t because I would never have gotten to experience the simple but incredible pleasures of pawning them off on the help for the first decade or so of their lives,” said Trump, defending the anti-abortion movement with a stirring speech about how profoundly being an absent and indifferent father had affected his life. “I wish I could describe to you how good it feels to avoid every soccer game and piano recital, and how incredible it’s been watching them grow from a child I couldn’t care less about to an adult I barely know. Whether it’s Ivanka, Don Jr., or one of the other two, they’ve each been a blessing that I never would have known if they had been aborted.” Trump went on to bring several audience members to tears by describing in detail the moment he first realized he’d be able to bully and emotionally terrorize his children forever.

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Response to sl8 (Original post)

Sun Jan 26, 2020, 08:56 AM

1. satire does not exist anymore

I long for the days when I could get a good laugh from this... not so anymore

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Response to handmade34 (Reply #1)

Sun Jan 26, 2020, 08:59 AM

2. I was surprised to see it was the Onion.

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Response to handmade34 (Reply #1)

Sun Jan 26, 2020, 10:52 AM

9. I believed he started by talking that way, and only as I read

on realized that once again truth was being expressed through satire.

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Response to Hortensis (Reply #9)

Sun Jan 26, 2020, 11:13 AM

11. That's part of what's so scary to me.

When I read stuff like this, it's too easy to believe he actually said it. When the "head on a pike" thing broke, I'll bet there wasn't one of those damned Rethugs who didn't know he said it.

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Response to handmade34 (Reply #1)

Sun Jan 26, 2020, 11:15 AM

13. I read the article before I looked at the citation and about halfway through

I was wondering if this was real or satire. With Trump, this article could easily be true.

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Response to sl8 (Original post)

Sun Jan 26, 2020, 09:07 AM

3. "the president did not like being in pictures with Tiffany because he perceived her as overweight."

Madeleine Westerhout, who left her White House job suddenly on Thursday as President Trump’s personal assistant, was fired after bragging to reporters that she had a better relationship with Trump than his own daughters, Ivanka and Tiffany Trump, and that the president did not like being in pictures with Tiffany because he perceived her as overweight.

https://www.politico.com/story/2019/08/30/trumps-personal-assistant-fired-ivanka-tiffany-1479226

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Response to NCLefty (Reply #3)

Sun Jan 26, 2020, 10:49 AM

7. Since he himself is so svelte,

incredibly sculpted and fit, it is understandable. Vile family, the entire clan. Why wasn't Maleria there to protect him from all these women? The hypocracy was just too much, even for her?

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Response to NCLefty (Reply #3)

Sun Jan 26, 2020, 11:00 AM

10. "Nobody lacks self-awareness more than me!"

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Response to sl8 (Original post)

Sun Jan 26, 2020, 09:36 AM

4. It's so nice to see all the father and son time that he spends with Barron. nt

 

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Response to UniteFightBack (Reply #4)

Sun Jan 26, 2020, 10:50 AM

8. Who?

Oh, King, Earl, Duke - er - Barron that's it.

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Response to sl8 (Original post)

Sun Jan 26, 2020, 09:56 AM

5. "Trump Woos March For Life Crowd By Kissing Supporter's Unborn Baby"

"Trump Woos March For Life Crowd By Kissing Supporter’s Unborn Baby"

More likely he was "grabbing her by the pussy".

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Response to sl8 (Original post)

Sun Jan 26, 2020, 10:47 AM

6. The Onion nails it, yet again. (nt)

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Response to sl8 (Original post)

Sun Jan 26, 2020, 11:14 AM

12. Every young single mom should have the nannies take care of their babies

for the first decade or 2 of their lives. Why don't these empowered feminists ever think of that? Of course not, they only think of themselves.

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