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Sun Jan 19, 2020, 07:37 PM

I'm Really Tired of Hatred

https://johnpavlovitz.com/2020/01/16/im-tired-of-hatred/?utm_campaign=coschedule&utm_source=facebook_page&utm_medium=John+Pavlovitz&fbclid=IwAR02TrgQq56fo0uhczQGbfu7x_jDWoVJ8YKCsoWP_Ep_cl5Zj4CqfOTqWPU

Iím Really Tired of Hatred
January 16, 2020 / John Pavlovitz

snip//

Thatís it. Iím tired of hatredólike, really tired.

Iím tired of waking every morning and seeing that weíre in an another unnecessary and preventable Constitutional crisis.

Iím tired of having to once again channel the adrenaline to confront a new onslaught of real and manufactured emergencies.

Iím tired of having to desperately appeal to public servants to do the decent and humane thing and seeing them again flatly refuse.

Iím tired of trying to convince professed followers of Jesus that theyíre supposed to care about other people.

Iím tired of dancing through minefields at family gatherings; doing verbal gymnastics to sidestep relational explosions and to keep loving people Iíve recently learned unsettling things about.

Iím tired of scrolling through racist, anti-LGBTQ, anti-immigrant, anti-Semitic hate speech filling my social media mentions.

Iím tired of being reminded daily of the white supremacy that my former church friends are so terribly afflicted with.

Iím tired of seeing stories of newly-emboldened bigots showing up as neighbors, elementary school teachers, local politicians, and coffee shop patronsóbecause they feel a kindred embittered spirit in the White House.

Iím tired of boastful, nonsensical, intentionally-provocative Presidential tweets littered with Democrat slander, wall-building taunts, and abject lies.


I am so damn tired of hatredóand yes, Iím tired of hating it all too.

Iím tired of continually confronting uglinessóand of the increasing ugliness it brings out in me as I do.

Iím tired of walking into a room and trying to calculate inside my head, how many of them there areóand resenting human beings Iíve never met based on my evaluation.

Iím tired of assuming the worst in people because the bumper sticker on their car or the red hat atop their head or the channel they get their news from.

Iím tired of the impatience and irritability always sitting just below the surface of my countenance, and how often it breaks violently through and into my day in angry words in traffic or expletives spoken under my breath or easy frustration with the normal inconveniences of life.

Iím tired of regularly losing my religion as I fight both for and with my faith tradition: being anything but Christlike while advocating for the teachings of Jesus.

Iím tired of feeling a growing hopelessness when I see the people weíre becoming.


snip//

Maybe if we make this world a little bit more loving in the small and the close and the present, maybe the ripples will eventually reach the big and the distant in the future.

Then maybe everyone whoís as fully tired of hatred as we areówill finally get some rest.

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Response to babylonsister (Original post)

Sun Jan 19, 2020, 07:51 PM

1. I'm tired

of yelling at the TV when he is on.

Not to sound corny, but love overpowers hate.

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Response to babylonsister (Original post)

Sun Jan 19, 2020, 07:55 PM

2. So am I. I'm tired of the chaos from the White House and people in charge.

Itís abusive. Iím worn down.

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Response to babylonsister (Original post)

Sun Jan 19, 2020, 07:57 PM

3. Me, too.

And Iím tired of hearing the zealous right wingers calling US the haters. How they come to that conclusion Iíll never figure out.

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Response to babylonsister (Original post)

Sun Jan 19, 2020, 08:34 PM

4. Social media? Well, there's your problem

Either we're going to have to shift away from unmonderated/poorly policed social media in favor of well run sites or learn to be very, very selective about who we meet on those badly run sites, as we generally are in real life.

The days of being friendly puppies as we connect with people we knew years ago are over, I'm afraid and dumping them if they start in on sex, politics or religion. I don't know about you, but if I haven't known someone well and for a long time, I really don't want to know any of this stuff about them.

If you permit them to stay in your life, they'll obsessively tell you what you least want to hear as long as you let them and wear you down as anger turns inward and becomes depression.

I have gotten extremely picky about where I post. It's a bit lonelier, but I can hang onto more illusions about the world and I find those illusions more comforting that confronting ranting dogmatists and being horribly disappointed in them because I knew them wen they were either saner or quieter.

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Response to Warpy (Reply #4)

Sun Jan 19, 2020, 08:58 PM

7. Well, aren't

you a sight for sore eyes! So very happy to see you, Warpy. Long time...

I have pretty much mastered the art of not arguing anymore, even here for the most part. It does me no good other than to elevate my blood pressure. I read, listen, and make up my own mind.

We all must know that this current political climate is downright depressing to anyone paying attention.

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Response to babylonsister (Original post)

Sun Jan 19, 2020, 08:53 PM

5. Politicians should be helping to bring more peace to our lives, not discord.

The GOP and their plutocratic/psychopathic backers have done this to us and with money they got from us.

I fear this will be the new normal unless we can somehow reverse the gross economic inequality we have today.

It's the biggest mass back-stabbing in human history.......

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Response to babylonsister (Original post)

Sun Jan 19, 2020, 08:58 PM

6. K&R for Pavlovitz

Though I'm not religious, I feel much the same.

I can't help but wonder who around me is one of them -- a Trumper as alien to me as the townsfolk in the Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

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Response to babylonsister (Original post)

Sun Jan 19, 2020, 09:00 PM

8. A lot of people live for chaos, where if it does not already exist, they have a need to create it.

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Response to babylonsister (Original post)

Sun Jan 19, 2020, 09:01 PM

9. I don't think I can get over my hatred for Trump...

Last edited Sun Jan 19, 2020, 09:41 PM - Edit history (1)

Not even sure I could try.

On a personal level, Iíve been trying to give people I meet a chance. I donít write them off automatically even though I can probably guess a lot about them when I initially meet them. I fly lots, so that means I sit close to a lot of strangers. Iíve been intentionally engaging them lately. Iíve been pleasantly surprised even though I know many are probably politically wrong. Back before Christmas, I sat next to a guy reading the Bible. In the past, no way Iíd engage. We had great conversation from DFW to Charlotte. Not once did he try to save me! On a trip last week, a dude with a Kahr firearms tshirt and I chatted for a while and I enjoyed it. He even bought me a beer.

Itís very easy me to have disdain for a particular ďtribeĒ (e.g. fundie Christians; older, white Archie Bunker types; apparent Republicans; military types, etc). But, Iím finding that when I deal with an individual person, they arenít so bad. Iím even noticing the same thing in other people. Different races or obviously different socio-economic individuals interacting graciously to each other.

I donít discuss politics with strangers; that probably helps. I just think if youíre decent to people, they will usually reciprocate.

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Response to VarryOn (Reply #9)

Sun Jan 19, 2020, 09:24 PM

10. "On a personal level, I've been trying to give people I meet a chance. I don't write them off...

I have adopted this same attitude. However, in the past I would have actually given them more than "just a chance". I would have given them several. These days I give them only one chance, and if they show me anything that indicates they are racist and hateful I'm done with them.

I have a quote that I use to remind me of why I do this. I have heard Oprah speak of it many times, but I believe it originally came from Maya Angelou. The quote is, "If somebody shows you who they are, believe them."



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Response to llmart (Reply #10)

Sun Jan 19, 2020, 10:27 PM

18. I've not read that Maya Angelou quote before...

But, I like it. It reminds me of one I heard growing up: "what's in the well, comes up in the bucket." People can fake it for a bit, but if they are a bad person, it'll eventually come out. That's especially true of racism and mysogyny. I do believe one can have a change in attitude on those, but it's a rare thing, takes a long time, and is quite hard to truly change.

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Response to VarryOn (Reply #18)

Sun Jan 19, 2020, 10:31 PM

19. That's a great quote also.

Maya Angelou meant it in the terms of relationships, but it's appropriate here also. My oldest sister has a saying which I believe to be true. "Personality disorders are easier to disguise when people are younger, but they become exacerbated when they get older." As an older person, I can see that to be true.

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Response to babylonsister (Original post)

Sun Jan 19, 2020, 09:24 PM

11. Many in Our Country Are Now Addicted to Excitment and Chaos

Many in our country are now addicted to chaos, conflict excitement, drama and war. The entire country is hyper and many are getting worn out. There will be massive brain drain if Trump is ďreelectedĒ. We must focus on the election and at the same time treasure our friends and family members that agree with us. Nurture them as everyone is probably as tired of it all as Babylon Sister. Hang in there and care for the dear ones.

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Response to babylonsister (Original post)

Sun Jan 19, 2020, 09:36 PM

12. K and R.

I feel like this is reducing my life span. Sometimes I feel like I may die soon. I don't want to die soon. I don't want anyone else to die soon, either.

Sometimes, I feel like spreading lovingkindness to help all this nonsense.

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Response to babylonsister (Original post)

Sun Jan 19, 2020, 09:39 PM

13. Tired?

Not me. I'm just getting started.

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Response to babylonsister (Original post)

Sun Jan 19, 2020, 09:42 PM

14. I think we are all afflicted with some degree of what I call

"trump fatigue." However, I think that has been the goal all along. He has taken lessons from Vlad about how to turn off the electorate and make them numb. So many people are unmotivated now about voting and that will have deadly consequences come November. So, how to reinvigorate a nation in which less than 40% actually engage in the voting process to begin with ? Take a vacation. A intellectual and emotional vacation from the shouting, the lies, the faux outrage, the constant cycle of manufactured chaos coming out of the WH. The primaries are a ways off for most of us. The conventions ever further off. Take that time and give yourself a break.

Rejuvenate, refresh, relax.

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Response to babylonsister (Original post)

Sun Jan 19, 2020, 09:44 PM

15. K&R

Well said. I'm tired as well. I think a lot of us are. Sometimes, I think that is their strategy.

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Response to babylonsister (Original post)

Sun Jan 19, 2020, 10:07 PM

16. Wearing People Out is the Strategy

Over-complexity is a feature, not a bug.

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Response to babylonsister (Original post)

Sun Jan 19, 2020, 10:18 PM

17. I completely agree!

I'm exhausted! I'm tired of finding out everyday that my fellow man can be so selfish, greedy, hateful, ignorant and short-sighted. I never thought I would live in a time when facts do not matter. I turned 65 in December and I remember when I was a teenager, I thought the world was getting better. I dreamed that we would continue to progress as humans but I was wrong. All the ugliness is still there and I am sick about it. I hope that 45 and all of his enablers will be voted out but even if that happens, the 35-40% of people who support him are still there. We can't let them win.

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Response to babylonsister (Original post)

Sun Jan 19, 2020, 10:42 PM

20. that's a symptom of the incredible tragedy of liberal ignorance of republican talk radio - just

because it hurts our ears to listen to it and for other really fucking stupid liberals something they cede to the right as its own particular expression of free speech - 1500 coordinated radio stations policed by putin-fed talk radio gods like lmbaugh - the ultimate in american 'political correctness' - that MUST deny global warming and protect trump because lmbaugh starts off the day like that and the other few hundred blowhards have to follow him or lose their jobs because dittoheads who are pissed off never getting through the limbaugh call screeners then call local shows to keep them in line

this is really fucking stupid, and until liberals figure it out, we're fucked

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Response to babylonsister (Original post)

Sun Jan 19, 2020, 11:11 PM

21. You are among the many...

Don't let them break you. Look out your window and enjoy your life with the grateful love that fills your heart. This moves mountains.

We will win. To still love, means we already have.

You don't have to engage in their treachery. Look at those people that show their ugliness, and smile big and bright, chuckle, roll your eyes and walk away.

You take your power back, while shaming their evil thought process, by countering with a smile and chuckle, then re-enforce your disgust with an eye roll, then avoid their gaslighting by walking away, and leaving them with their shameful thoughts.

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