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Mon Dec 23, 2019, 03:33 PM

Aged & Orphaned - Managing the Melancholy of Missing

This can be a difficult time of year for we left behinds (not a political pun )

Perhaps we have some things that lighten the spirit of melancholy missing.

Here’s mine:

I bought matching photo albums for each member. I labeled each with their names using gold letter stickers. In each, the photos progress from infancy to the obit and filled with wonderful pics of memories like their wedding pics, diplomas, news articles, cards signed by co-workers at their retirement parties, and so on.

Each page is awash in tears because the last two died within one year.

It’s been 15 years since their passing. 15 years as the last living.

I share these albums with the grandchildren on my family members birthdays.

I enjoy the memories on those days when the missing melancholy visits.

Do you have a particular manner of managing your missing?

To all those who mourn, may the happy memories, the funny memories and the profound memories carry you peacefully throughout the holidays.

We are not alone as nothing can cut the cord of familial love.

Here’s some soothing Christmas music for those special memory moments that accompany wrapping, cooking, or just remembering.

✨✨❤️✨✨

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Arrow 7 replies Author Time Post
Reply Aged & Orphaned - Managing the Melancholy of Missing (Original post)
OhNo-Really Dec 2019 OP
sinkingfeeling Dec 2019 #1
OhNo-Really Dec 2019 #2
abqtommy Dec 2019 #3
OhNo-Really Dec 2019 #4
Loryn Dec 2019 #5
OhNo-Really Dec 2019 #6
Loryn Dec 2019 #7

Response to OhNo-Really (Original post)

Mon Dec 23, 2019, 04:03 PM

1. This is my third holiday season without a family.

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Response to sinkingfeeling (Reply #1)

Mon Dec 23, 2019, 04:19 PM

2. Hugs dear. I'm sorry for your losses.

The missing is hardest this time of year for me. We can honor their memories by remembering our good times together like the huge hot light rack dad used to film our descent from our sleepiness to Santa’s surprises.

Onward we go!
✨✨❤️✨✨

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Response to OhNo-Really (Original post)

Mon Dec 23, 2019, 05:05 PM

3. My Mom died this last November 11. She was 95, had bladder cancer, wasn't in pain and

died in her sleep with her caregiver present, miles away from me. Since I've had possession of most of
Moms stored things for many years (due to the caregivers desire to make room) I did a quick inventory
of Mom's stuff then set it aside. Now that she has died I've gone through it thoroughly. Some things I've kept for myself and some things I've sent to my niece, mostly because she's the only family member who showed any interest. I've got the wedding ring that my step-Dad bought for Mom when they were married in 1957 (I was there) and I wear it around my neck. I have photos, greeting cards and even
3 dollars cash (in Kennedy half dollars) I found. I also have a few of the rocks my Mom collected, ones that I gave her years ago. I think having these physical mementos helps out the grieving process.
Yes, my Mom was a pack rat and I'm glad. As far as I'm concerned, memories and grieving go nicely
together.

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Response to abqtommy (Reply #3)

Mon Dec 23, 2019, 05:17 PM

4. Yours is a beautiful story.

Love the sentiment “memories and grieving go nicely together”. This captures the experience perfectly. Thank you.

The grieving does soften over time I promise.

Hugs and sincere condolences for your recent parting ✨✨❤️✨✨

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Response to OhNo-Really (Original post)

Mon Dec 23, 2019, 08:36 PM

5. I am going through their stuff now -

Funny how life comes down to stuff, and paperwork.

My mom died January 29th, my dad on February 21st. I am not up for holidays this year.

Maybe next year.

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Response to Loryn (Reply #5)

Wed Dec 25, 2019, 12:51 AM

6. I'm so sorry.

Take your time to mourn. Best advice someone gave me.

Try to keep your health though. It’s very hard to regain. I made this mistake.

Peace and compassion during this melancholy season, Loryn. The days do brighten in time.

✨✨🙏✨✨

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Response to OhNo-Really (Reply #6)

Fri Dec 27, 2019, 12:27 PM

7. Thanks

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