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Thu Nov 21, 2019, 08:53 PM

John Boehner Sucks and So Does His Portrait



As the newly self-appointed National Portrait Reporter here at the Stranger, let me tell you, I'm eating WELL this week. While I was typing away about Jeff Bezos and his unsettling portrait that now adorns the walls of the National Portrait Gallery, Congress went and formally "honored" Former Speaker of the House John Boehner with a portrait. Current Speaker Nancy Pelosi stood next to him. Apparently she brought him a box of tissues, an intimate gesture, knowing that he was going to tear up at the ceremony.

This portrait dedication came right as the impeachment hearings were ramping up, a fact that multiple outlets reporting on the ceremony noted. Hailed as a "uniting moment for Democrats and Republicans amid a divisive impeachment inquiry" by Business Insider, this is my moment to remind you, the world at large, that John Boehner, former House Representative of Ohio's 8th district, still fucking sucks. So it's fitting that his portraitópainted by Ronald Sherr and destined to hang at the U.S. Capitol foreveródoes too.


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The sheen from this photo makes it hard to get a good look, but it's rather boring. Boehner is portrayed sitting with his legs crossed in a giant leather chair, looking out at the viewer. His tie is red in what I assume is a nod to his party affiliation. On his hand, you can very clearly see his wedding band, which is perhaps a comment on his values (fidelity, endurance, heterosexuality, belief in the institution of marriage, etc.). None of the emotion that the former Speaker was known for is apparent at all.

Taking a break from hawking tobacco, Boehner gave an emotional (for him) speech after unveiling the portrait, where he thanked the people of his district, his colleagues on both sides of the aisle, and shared some highlights from his time in office. He, of course, resigned from his position in 2015 after facing mounting pressure from the right-most flank of his party, which has now overrun our capital.

https://www.thestranger.com/slog/2019/11/21/42062993/john-boehner-sucks-and-so-does-his-portrait

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Reply John Boehner Sucks and So Does His Portrait (Original post)
Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin Nov 21 OP
5X Nov 21 #1
TheBlackAdder Nov 21 #2
smirkymonkey Nov 21 #3
Blue Owl Nov 21 #4
Brother Buzz Nov 21 #6
Hassler Nov 21 #5
NRaleighLiberal Nov 21 #7

Response to Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin (Original post)

Thu Nov 21, 2019, 08:58 PM

1. His cheeks are a little rosy and is that a nicotine stain on his fingers?

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Response to Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin (Original post)

Thu Nov 21, 2019, 08:59 PM

2. It's not that bad. It hides the overexposure to sun and alcohol.

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Response to Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin (Original post)

Thu Nov 21, 2019, 09:03 PM

3. He's not orange enough.

Or drunk enough.

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Response to Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin (Original post)

Thu Nov 21, 2019, 09:05 PM

4. Did they airbrush out the cigarette?

n/t

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Response to Blue Owl (Reply #4)

Thu Nov 21, 2019, 09:11 PM

6. That, and the highball glass

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Response to Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin (Original post)

Thu Nov 21, 2019, 09:07 PM

5. Missing from the portrait: a

Glass of Merlot in one hand and, now that he's part of the green rush, a Bob Marley sized blunt in the other hand.

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Response to Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin (Original post)

Thu Nov 21, 2019, 09:21 PM

7. Isn't this the actual picture?

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