HomeLatest ThreadsGreatest ThreadsForums & GroupsMy SubscriptionsMy Posts
DU Home » Latest Threads » Forums & Groups » Main » General Discussion (Forum) » Republicans Demand That E...

Tue Nov 12, 2019, 05:26 AM

Republicans Demand That Everyone in Witness-Protection Program Appear on National TV

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Saying that “enough is enough,” congressional Republicans demanded on Monday that the thousands of people in the nation’s witness-protection program be required to appear on national television.

“What kind of a country protects someone’s identity just because they were instrumental in bringing a criminal to justice?” Representative Jim Jordan, of Ohio, asked. “I don’t want to live in a country like that.”

Representative Devin Nunes, of California, concurred. “Anonymity is all well and good, but we should be able to look at these people and know their names,” he said.

At the United States Senate, Lindsey Graham told reporters that “it’s time for people in the witness-protection program to put up or shut up.”

“I want these people to go on TV and say what they have to say, and then I fully intend not to listen to them,” the senator said.


Short article, no more at link: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/republicans-demand-that-everyone-in-witness-protection-program-appear-on-national-tv

10 replies, 2594 views

Reply to this thread

Back to top Alert abuse

Always highlight: 10 newest replies | Replies posted after I mark a forum
Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 10 replies Author Time Post
Reply Republicans Demand That Everyone in Witness-Protection Program Appear on National TV (Original post)
Rhiannon12866 Nov 12 OP
duforsure Nov 12 #1
OldBaldy1701E Nov 12 #3
Scarsdale Nov 12 #2
skydive forever Nov 12 #4
Duppers Nov 12 #5
Rhiannon12866 Nov 13 #10
FakeNoose Nov 12 #6
Liberal In Texas Nov 12 #7
aggiesal Nov 12 #8
crickets Nov 12 #9

Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Tue Nov 12, 2019, 05:47 AM

1. I hope when these republicans are indicted

They are filmed and shown in handcuffs being walked away on tv everywhere.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to duforsure (Reply #1)

Tue Nov 12, 2019, 06:29 AM

3. I was about to say the same thing...

Personally, I want them to be shown on every channel, as they perp walk to ail, I want their faces plastered on the screen for weeks. I wish they would parade them down the street so they can see how it feels to be the ones under the boot for a change. (Since I doubt these rethugs gave a crap about anyone but themselves, why not give a little bit of an object lesson?)

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Tue Nov 12, 2019, 06:01 AM

2. Makes sense, since

every member of the gop is in the WITLESS protection program. Who the hell votes for these idiots? I know this is satire, but some of the statements are true. Graham has said he will not read the reports. Isn't that part of his "job"? Well, that plus appearing on TV often, ranting like a rabid badger.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Tue Nov 12, 2019, 06:57 AM

4. The worst part is

I had to click on the link to make sure that it is satire. That's how upside down the world is right now.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to skydive forever (Reply #4)

Tue Nov 12, 2019, 07:02 AM

5. Strange, me too. 😣

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to skydive forever (Reply #4)

Wed Nov 13, 2019, 03:17 AM

10. I know! These days it's really tough to tell...

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Tue Nov 12, 2019, 07:29 AM

6. Relax friends, it's Borowitz!



Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to FakeNoose (Reply #6)

Tue Nov 12, 2019, 07:32 AM

7. I always have to check to see if it's Borowitz when I seen one of these outrageous headlines.

Sometimes it is. Sometimes it isn't.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Tue Nov 12, 2019, 08:08 AM

8. Pro-Life my a$$ ...

Damn, I just realized it was Borowitz.
Got me

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Tue Nov 12, 2019, 08:21 AM

9. I love how Borowitz skewers the Republicans,

using essentially their own words to show how petty and silly they are.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Reply to this thread