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Sun Nov 10, 2019, 04:35 AM

Bloomberg Offers Trump Ten Billion Dollars to Leave White House by End of Day

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—The former New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg upended the 2020 Presidential race on Friday by offering Donald J. Trump ten billion dollars to leave the White House by the end of the day.

“I will deposit ten billion dollars into your account in Moscow, Riyadh, or wherever you do your banking these days,” Bloomberg announced. “All you have to do is go.”

In addition to the ten-billion-dollar offer, Bloomberg told Trump that he would cover the moving expenses of Ivanka Trump, Jared Kushner, Kellyanne Conway, and any other associates “that you haven’t already gotten rid of.”

On Capitol Hill, congressional Democrats expressed sadness that Bloomberg’s offer, if successful, would eliminate the need for impeachment, which many of them had been looking forward to.

But Representative Adam Schiff of California struck a more philosophical note. “If ten billion dollars gets rid of Donald Trump, that’s a quid pro quo I’m okay with,” he said.

SOURCE: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/bloomberg-offers-trump-ten-billion-dollars-to-leave-white-house-by-end-of-day?verso=true

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Reply Bloomberg Offers Trump Ten Billion Dollars to Leave White House by End of Day (Original post)
BigBearJohn Sunday OP
smirkymonkey Sunday #1
catrose Sunday #2
lindysalsagal Sunday #3

Response to BigBearJohn (Original post)

Sun Nov 10, 2019, 04:44 AM

1. If only!

Hell, I'd gladly chip in if it would require twice that much.

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Response to BigBearJohn (Original post)

Sun Nov 10, 2019, 09:08 AM

2. Oh damn. I wanted to believe.

That would have been a good use of his money. And less than Warren's wealth tax.

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Response to BigBearJohn (Original post)

Sun Nov 10, 2019, 09:21 AM

3. Blue balls.

So unfair.

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